The trigger warning is in the title my loves. Please don’t watch if you’re in a really bad patch mentally when it comes to this topic ❤️ If you’re actively working through it or if you’re stronger mentally now…please chat to me down here about how the thin culture of the past impacted you & how you feel about the trend cycle of women’s bodies xxx
Literally every time I pass a reflective surface I body check always comparing, feeling secretly better than people bigger than me, it goes on and on. Never truly eating anything “yummy” guilt free
I never bought into it and I've never understood why people wanna be skinny. To me it always looks weak and puny and inferior. I'd never say skinny was better than bigger and it is actually a trigger for me. I do get offended that people always hated fat so much that even a tiny bit of meat on you would be bad, wrong, disgusting. While I always found fat to be really sexy. I loved how fatter girls looked and I always wanted to look like them. I was always a skinny kid and I hated it. People now will say fat is bad because it's unhealthy but u always had back and hip problems since I was quite young even when I was skinny. I hated how I looked. I didn't like bones sticking out and if I saw myself naked or minimally dressed in the mirror or anybody that was skinny id just think how bad they or I looked.
Honestly I think that thinness is coming back bc the “body positivity” movement did not even touch the core issue. They are still hyper fixating and moralizing bodies. The blanket praise of thinness is the same as the blanket praise of fatness- it’s still saying ”good job for having this specific body! It’s now your personality”. We need to move towards body neutrality. This is a body and I live in it. It’s the least interesting thing about me.
It's interesting. I've had a completely different view and experience of the body positivity movement. Maybe because I was mostly in feminist circles at the time where we held the accurate meaning of words in high regard as our discussions were often highly theoretical. To me, 'body positivity' has always entailed what the current 'body neutrality' movement is fighting for. I NEVER learned from it that suddenly 'thin = bad and fat = good'. I also think we should really examine the messages that are put forward in the movement - are we actually getting the message that being fat is being praised? Or do we still have so much internalized fatphobia that literally just seeing people praise their own fat body, that we don't accept this as just one person trying to love their body?
YES. Our bodies are vehicles and homes, they are not us. We are not these shells we exist in. It's degrading to our entire species to regard the bodies more than the people we are.
@@hayley179g Honey, you don't have to eat junk food to be fat, and you don't have to avoid junk food to be thin. Medical issues can cause both over and underweight and that is the reality. Just because your body works normally doesn't mean everyone's does. Judging people *on sight* makes you part of the problem. Don't do it.
this is why millenials and gen x dont want to give up high rise. we were finally free. i had severe anorexia in the early 2000's (2004-5) and I had to be hospitalized. Im almost 40 now... and I have found those same feelings creeping back in. This really weird obsession with my body. I truly think its the trends recirculating. I worry for my 13 year old daughter.
Sameeeee - I was hospitalized in high school for anorexia and it makes me sad to see this ultra-skinny trend coming back. Seems like we won’t ever move on from body types as trends but I hope someday we can get there through dressing / expressing ourselves in ways that suit our individuality
It's called cachexia. When the body wastes away and loses muscle, and often fat as well, due to illness. During medical school we are drilled to ask every single patient if they have any unexplained weight loss because it's a huge red flag for cancer, mental health issues etc. After asking it about 100 times it began to change my perception of weight loss, helped me to glorify it less in my own head
Lord Jesus Christ is coming back everyone, please don’t worship celebrities and entertainment, focus on Him alone. I promise there’s more to life than money, partying, homosexuality and music. Hell is real, repent from sinning confess your sins and ask God to forgive you, I know He will if you’re sincere. Anyone who thinks the Name of Lord Jesus Christ is a joke, boldly mocks and scorns Him or takes pleasure in people who do is in for a big unpleasant surprise on judgement day IF they don’t repent and follow Lord Jesus Christ. Hell is very hot, people please repent! In the mighty name of Lord Jesus Christ, Amen 🙏💪✝️💜❤️✝️! Idolatry such as, Islam, Catholicism, Sangomaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Racism, Santa Clausism, Confucianism, New Age, Science, Evolution, halloweenism, Harry Potterism, Politics, Donald Trumpism, Easter Bunnyism and other religions/faiths that are outside Biblical Christianity lead to hell! Don’t believe them, believe the Almighty God the Father of Lord Jesus Christ, who begot Him. Our Creator, The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob is mighty, He doesn’t need a woman to beget a son, He is God. I choose to put my faith in a God who can do anything and everything, a God who has unlimited and infinite power to beget! So, it’s time to confess that Lord Jesus Christ is the Lord and to believe that He died and rose from the grave after three days and you shall be saved if you only obey Him by praying, worshipping, praising, reading the Bible and living holy and righteously according to the Bible. You have to endure until the end, carry your cross daily and build your relationship with God by following Lord Jesus daily until the end. You must never renounce your faith in The Lord Jesus Christ, there’s hell awaiting those who reject/deny Lord Jesus Christ and those who continue living sinfully, even the Christians who don’t want to repent will face the same fate, so please repent beloved people, in Lord Jesus Christ’s mighty and precious Name, Amen.
Unfortunately, all this is nothing new. I grew up in the 70s-80s and while we didn't have the Internet and influencers, we did have massive messaging in the media, women's and teen magazines, and a lot more ignorance about eating disorders and nutrition. It totally messed me up. It still messes me up often, and I know a lot more now. Part of it is that I can intellectually reject the messaging and all the toxic beliefs about bodies and weight and beauty, but I can still feel like sh*t about myself. It's so hard to hang onto your own self worth and body appreciation in a screwed up culture.
Also, Kate Moss may have repeated the phrase "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" in the 2000s, but it's been around for decades before that, at least over here in the U.S. It's so toxic!
@@reflexxuns767yes and As I know she was and is very positive person, these times unaware of future trends, taking advantage that her features were appreciated in clothes@co Modelling
The O.G. influencer was the magazines in the 80's/90's where the prices was hidden in the back. So, for a brief moment I thought I could get the 'thing' and look like 'someone' only to realize I couldn't afford the 'thing' and I lived too far from where the 'thing' was sold...so an E.D. was my remaining 'thing' I had access to to feel like I'd fit in. 🙄
I’m 41. I’ll never forget that when I was a size 6 teen in the late 90s/early 00s, ppl would tell me it was ok to be “bigger” bc Selma Hayek and Gerri Halliwell were “bigger” and still considered sexy. 💀
Holy motherforking shirtballs, theres so much wrong in just one sentence. im sorry you had to go through that, im 38 an i remember the nineties were pretty rough when it came to weight
Same, I'm 36. I'm short, naturally muscular and haven't been smaller than a D cup since 10(except when I had an active ED). It almost killed me to be a size 2 when a soze 6 is skinny for me, a size 8 is comfy for me. While I am glad that I can find pants that are lower rise now(im 5'2" w/a short torso), I don't want me now 5 yo daughter to live thru the BS I did.
Exactly it’s sickening that women who are already small/thin get told they are “bigger”. I had an ex boyfriend tell me I needed to lose weight at a very fit 135lb!
@MelModica yea, I've had that happen to me as well. My husband has always liked me better at 140-150 lbs. When I start getting under 140, he makes comments like, "babe, are you feeling OK? You need to eat more." Or when I mention I want to get back down to 125-130 and he's like, "babe, you are a grown woman and a mother, you are meant to have curves." ThT man is my peace in a crazy world and a mirror when I need it. A good partner/strong family make a huge difference. I had a mother who has had disordered eating my entire 36 yes of life, and from how she tells it, since the late 70s as a teen. I will not pass that on to my daughter.
I lived in L.A in the early 2000's. Women were living on black coffee, cigarettes, and Adderall. I saw so many young women who could barely walk because they were starving and exhausted (they also worked out for hours a day). I gave birth to my kids in 2001 and 2003. Waddling around Melrose Avenue surrounded by 19 year-olds in size 00 low-rise jeans was... an experience. Also, have you noticed that the super-skinny trend always seems to come back around whenever women's rights are in the spotlight? Almost as if society wants us to be too wrapped up in our appearance, and be too exhausted, to focus on the really important stuff.
If women are returning to being thin, that is actually a very good sign. Overweight women are the greatest symbol of oppression. The more misogynistic a culture is, the more overweight the women are. And when they try to present being overweight as something natural and healthy, it only frustrates women... Thus, as an act of sanity, women want to return to their natural appearance. The natural appearance for most women is slim. The more a woman lives in a sane environment, the more likely she is to be slim. It is men who attempt to portray women as overweight and make them overweight to naturally dominate them. Naturally, a woman has a narrower, slimmer, and more delicate appearance, not the man. They are envious of women.
The fucking irony that RUclips ran three different diet adverts while I was watching this video. But thank you, Melanie. You do amazing work and speak truth, I really appreciate you. Someone who has experienced disorder eating, body dysmorphia and self harm because of toxic diet culture. This video really meant something to me, so thank you.
Arent a lot of YT ads are chosen by your google ads settings and reflect your activity online? I dont get diet ads at all on YT, mostly just annoying as hell Temu ads. Editing to add that you can use your google ad settings to ban topics you find harmful to your mental health- you can and should turn off those diet ads if they upset you!
Why are we like this. One of my earliest memories about my body is me in kindergarten noticing how my thighs are thicker than other girls'. Kindergarten!!
A few people have made more detailed videos about it, but there've been a few things - off the top of my head, there've been some significant issues with confidentiality/privacy, people being ghosted by therapists or counselors, and clients being assigned to someone super incompatible, like a gay guy who was matched with a conservative Christian counselor who took a very conversion 'therapy' approach. I'd have to double check, but I remember hearing someplace that they're also pushing their therapists and counselors to accept so many clients that it affects the quality of the care they can provide.
My own mother used to tell me that “pinch an inch” thing. I remember being 12 and she noticed my tummy rolls when I was sitting down (I was all of 125 lbs soaking wet) and that began an eating disorder for me. Came to find out she herself was anorexic and was just downloading her own issues onto me… it makes me so sad for our generation. I’m 32 and I finally accept myself. It feels great. Am I happy with everything? No. But who is? I’m just glad to be healthier now. ❤❤
same here. my mom constantly commented on my jawline or tummyrolls. I was not as skinny as my sibblings - I thought I was "huge" ( but I was an average kid) - my mom and grandma projected their fatphobia on us
it’s really great to hear this from someone who went through those terrible “heroin chic” years. im a ’98 baby but i was obsessed with teen magazines as a child and the skinny fad was so prevalent. it’s crazy now seeing videos of objectively small women where all the top comments are calling them fat in one way or another. it gets framed as okay because it relates to health, even though we know it’s not really about that. as if people aren’t ever healthier when they’re heavier. or as if it’s anyone’s business what someone is or isn’t doing for their health. it’s unsolicited advice taken to the cruellest level because for some reason it’s okay to treat fat people horrendously. and you’re right it gets so complicated when body positivity influencers are held to crazy standards to be the perfect role model. it’s hard to reconcile the mass amounts of information about health and wellness and expectations on the internet. i just wish there wasn’t so much moral value applied to someone’s size. i gained weight entering adulthood the way a lot of people do and i'm worried for teenagers today coming out of this when the culture on the internet is inescapable nowadays
Let's also get rid of the "curvy" trend. There are people who now shame women for being "flat". There are even people calling certain body shapes "perfect" or "that's what men want", etc. Funny how men's wants seem to change with the trends too. I don't remember them complaining when size zero was in fashion.
I think curvy, chubby and fat are perfect. Being skinny makes you look starving and sick, deprived of food perhaps because you're poor or because someone is depriving you of food. How is being skinny a good thing? Has always blown my mind since I was a kid
@@magicmoonart excuse me I don't know if you're a bot, but you probably don't realize how problematic and toxic your comment is. Imagine if someone said "skinny is perfect. Being ". You'd go off in the comments. The hypocrisy is absolutely unhinged with this "body positivity" movement. What makes you think being naturally thin means unhealthy?
@@sasharob3918 being naturally thin Is fine ime talking about all these morons who think it's a cool idea that no matter how thin they are they think they should force themselves to get even skinnier!, I think it's disgusting that all these celebs are encouraging this toxic shit it's not my comment that's toxic. It's society for making all these poor girls think they have to starve themselves to the point of immaciation. If you think I'm toxic you're dead wrong
@@sasharob3918OK so I replied to this earlier but it doesn't seem to have posted my reply, so now I've got to try again. Lord knows if I'll be able to word it as well as I did earlier but here goes. The term "curvy" is a valid word to describe a person who has curves as a posed to a more flat body shape. Usually somebody who has a bigger top half, a small waist and a bigger bottom half and shapely legs, usually bigger at the top aka thighs and tapers down the leg. It is not a nicer word to mean fat. You can be curvy thin or curvy fat. I do not condone the whole deal of gloryfying skinny again. I think it's terrible that celebrities are trying to promote getting to the point of being as skinny as possible. It sends a bad message to young ones. I thi k it's very toxic. Someone on the comments said that the reason for the return of the 2000s skinny gloryfying is because of the hatred of the fat acceptance stuff. Seems counter productive but hey what do I know! They were trying to suggest people accept fat people, not gloryfy them. Skinny culture is actively gloryfying it which I don't even get. Anyway, I never said that there was anything wrong with being naturally thin. I was simply saying that I find it terrible that normal weight girls actively try to get as skinny as possible
My eating disorder (anorexia) is so ingrained that no matter what I’ve always felt ‘happier’ at an extremely low weight even when I was actually… not ‘happier’. I still would take that over being a bit chubbier and happier. And I don’t know how to ever let go of it. Being thin is like the only thing I can… do. And control. And be… it’s me :( and it’s so sad. I would never want young girls to end up like me where this is just… it. For the rest of their lives. I can’t see ever letting it go. I can’t let it go. It’s always there, when I feel like I have nothing left. It’s sick!!! I was a preteen/young teen with unrestricted access to the internet during the HEIGHT of the pro ed culture. It’s really sad. I am scared to see thinness becoming SUCH a trend again but I don’t think it ever actually went away to begin with.
Better Help was wonderful for me and has helped thousands of people. I could not find a local therapist in my area and after months of searching ended up with Better Help, and I’m glad I didn’t listen to the internet parrots who think they know everything about everything. Accusing her of just being after sponsor money is gross, and says a lot more about you internet warriors.
I got so confused by all these movies you listed. I remember watching Bridget Jones when I was in middle school and being so confused about why they constantly talk about her weight. My mum had the books, so I opened one and it said she was somewhere around 60 kilos, I think. Even suggesting that is an unhealthy weight is COMPLETELY ABSURD!! Then I asked myself: well what does that make me? I developed anorexia at 15, bulimia at 17, BED in early 20s and still have body dysmorphia in my 30s.
Great conversation. The thin look was earlier than 2000's. Lost my 20's, 30's, half 40's to it. What a waste of life. The world becomes very small as your organs, particularly the brain, become depleted. Keep taliking about it Girls. Call it out. Aim to feel healthy, which will likely mean you will need a decent layer of weight to hold a sense of balance and calm within your system, and not have obsessive mental thoughts. AI and social media will make life impossible for reality. Appreciate the body you have been gifted. No option.
@@Four-HundredEl-Beez-yp7nkI hope one day you’re able to love yourself for you, and not how people think you look. Looks fade, but shit personalities are forever.
I'm a person who turns to food for comfort, with a brain who is constantly chasing dopamine. I'm bigger than what I've ever been.. I just can't stop.. I will never say that being fat is healthy, but I'm also so tired of people thinking that fat people have no self-awareness.. I know I'm fat, I know it's not good or healthy, I know what there is to do about it.. I KNOW! But my depression doesn't allow me to have willpower to try to fix it... Don't disguise bullying as caring.
Same. I recently found out I have ADHD and apparently with this there is a dopamine deficit. But I also get a high when I dance and sometimes when I lift weight and do martial arts. I have been doing it to balance things out and also trying to eat healthy sometimes. It's still even hard to lose weight. High cortisol could also be the cause so I no longer drink coffee every day and I am less anxious at least.
Wow thank you for this video melanie! What you said about being sandwiched between diet cultures’ unrealistic standards + body positivity/fat acceptance resonated so deeply. I’ve been stuck in that place for so long, afraid to create any boundaries with food out of fear that it would spiral into the early 2000’s type of dieting and body hate. I’ve never heard that articulated so clearly before!! Thanks to time and growth though I am now learning how to take care of my nutrition without going to an extreme end. 🤞
I shaved my head this years even though I loved my long curly hair because I felt like other people were just responding to my image rather than to me. My female boss was clearly challenged by my youth and she has calmed down a lot since I shaved my head, I get sexually harassed less on the streets and people at work take me more seriously and other people think I am less naive. Being a woman is hard and I hate that I can’t be feminine and still be thought of as savage and brave as much. It has been a real eye opener.
This is a reminder of how different social media is based on algorithms. I knew nothing about the diet culture resurgence! Feeds and algorithms change a lot, but I’m glad mine makes me feel safe and happy right now.
Such a beautiful message! I am 20 years old and have noticed a certain shift towards thin bodies, especially now with the popularization of Ozempic, which has been treated so casually that at one point, it almost convinced me to consider it. I have always been a bit bigger and have struggled with my self-image for most of my life due to societal standards and criticism from my own mother. Seeing how lovingly you speak of your daughter made me tear up. The expectations for women can be extremely overwhelming, but being shown love and respect at home can go a long way. I say this because it’s what I wished I had as an insecure, bigger-sized teenage girl. Sending much love to you! :)
It was a crazy time! I was 5''5" and 116 lbs, US size 2, and felt monstrously fat. I could barely wear a tank top in public. Forget about a bathing suit! The celebrities and "hot" girls were all medically underweight, and we all aspired to be anorexic. So crazy.
I forgot how toxic the early 2000’s were - I remember being around 10 years old and doing ridiculous amounts of sit ups in my bedroom to get ‘abs’. The body shaming in magazines too - ugh!! I think it was the start of me becoming aware of my appearance and feeling insecure, those feelings never really left. I wish we’d leave bodies alone ❤
I did the same in my early teens. My parents both accused me of being pregnant at 13 because I was bloated (and also growing 🙃) which gave me major body image problems.
Gen Z here lol. And for me being born in the 2000's, I did see a little bit of it but growing up in the age of social media lead to a whole lot of harmful stuff. I remember believing that I wished I had the "willpower" to restrict my food and be anorexic. This was when I was 12. I'm still struggling with remembering that "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" and "I'll be happy when I'm skinny" is so wrong. It's just so hard to remember sometimes that there is no point in trying to be as skinny as possible. Often times I just wonder how I can stop hearing the voice that keeps telling me I need to lose weight or, maybe I should try that new diet or eat less, etc.
I’m relapsing bad right now due to this, I just got out of treatment last year for the second time and thought I was on track to make a full recovery but society had other plans, thank you so much for talking about this it felt like I was going crazy
As someone who went through ED recovery, the hardest part was noticing the fatphobia and dietculture all around us. All the comments from women feeling like they‘re eating too much, they’re being fat, was so upsetting. And not participating in it made me seem weird - especially because I gained 60lbs during recovery and was bigger than ever. But also the whole hate against Ozempic makes me so mad because losing weight is not just counting calories. During my ED years when I didn‘t eat much at all, I was never skinny. Taking a medication for a medical indication is so valid! And it works! And it gave me back my life without falling back into disordered eating. I dream of a world where the obsession with women‘s bodies finally stops.
This thin worship is not going away any time soon. I grew up in the skinny seventies and it was already bad then. I went through hell trying to achieve a figure that my healthy athletic build was not shaped for. Even now, with bad body dysmorphia, I struggle and can only manage disordered eating
People have different genes, different medical conditions, etc. We can't know a stranger's health or lack thereof very easily. Unless someone is on the extreme end, like in body conditions that make them weak from lack of energy or unable to move or in genuine danger of death as determined by a doctor, diversity is strictly a good thing. One of the most healing relationships I've ever had was me bonding with a very skinny guy over how harshly we were judged by strangers over the visible results of our invisible mental and physical health problems. Stress contributes to weight issues. Everyone's on their own journey. The world sucks less the more we support each other, and embrace diversity and healthy lifestyles.
It upsets me so much when people think fat people don't have self-awareness.. Most do. There is just often an underlying problem behind. In my case.. Comfort eating. And when people constantly points out fat people's weight, it makes me sad and want to eat even more.. People aren't realizing how they're contributing to making the situation even worse with their comments
This really brought me back to how media was when I was in my teens! I used to be SOOO envious of Britney and Nicole Scherzinger abs!! I've taken a break from IG + TikTok and feel such a change mentally. (not feeling infiltrated by everyone else's opinions and judgements + societal expectations!) Thank you for making a video to highlight this and come from a very loving perspective! ❤
Hey! I really loved this video, alongside many others of yours (started watching you in my teens, 27 now) Just one comment.. I think it's a shame after all the great stuff you said about body acceptance and positivity to make the comments about your lips being small. As someone with naturally very thin lips, this beauty ideal in the media can be hurtful, especially coming from someone like yourself who has beautiful full lips. I just don't feel any sort of negative comments about our features or weight are necessary as it reinforces that there is only one beauty ideal
"She has a well-fed body" said as a pejorative thing is... just... mind blowing. Not an "over-fed body"... a well fed. It literally tells you that you need to be under-fed/ill-fed to attain the "skinny beauty" standards. 😭
I remember a couple of places Christina Applegates characters said some things that have stuck with me. "A moment on your lips, forever on your hips." I think that was her. Specifically from a Friend's episode as well as the movie, The Sweetest Thing. In that movie, they were hill walking to work off something considered indulgent.
I frickin love your mind, Melanie! Being a millennial and experiencing all that unhealthy content about bodies, beauty, and health was so hard! And now, to see it resurfacing is scary... Also, I think a lot of millennials have never shaken off those unhealthy messages and perpetuate that cycle in their own lives. I remember, here in the US, we have a crappy MLM known as Herbalife, and so many people fell victim to their health products and their unethical work practices. I thought most of us realized they are a terrible company! But low and behold, I have family that are well into their 30s and are now posting content about herbalife and how it can help you obtain the body of your dreams.... feels like deja vu of the early 2000's 😢
I was born in 1971. Growing up in the '70, '80s & early '90s gave me life long body images. There were 2 sizes-thin & thinner. I am not a heavy person but anyone that was my size in the media would have been called 'plus size'. Media, please stop the pressure on us.....
Re: Gwyneth Paltrow. With all due respect, if she is just eating: Soup, bone broth, protein and veg, along with a black coffee, what on earth is she detoxing from??
Thank you for touching on this topic! I’ve a history of eating disorders/body issues and I’m also in my 30’s, living through this the first time was hard enough. It’s been a little bit triggering lately but I’ve got my coping skills and support network - it’s the young girls I feel for. Hopefully with people speaking out they can see all body types are beautiful 🖤
I love how balanced this conversation is! As a woman a bit younger (29) I remember some of this stuff, but I think it seeped in less. Whereas my mom who has been overweight most of my life due to injuries preventing her from being ambulatory for long periods, was often trying to lose weight and be healthier, I saw plenty and had some stuff that weaseled its way in, it's always about my stomach weight or my skin being flabby and not toned on my arms or legs. CRAZY stuff. But it is important to consider your health above anything else. I have always loved your take on health, fitness and body positivity. This video is great!
Ugh thank you for this! I was just remembering that when I’ve been at my smallest as an adult it was always because I wasn’t doing well mentally or physically. I either had such bad anxiety that I felt nauseous all the time and physically couldn’t eat enough or I had GI issues, and these are besides the eating disorder that was soooo happy I was getting smaller. I felt horrible and was scared. It’s not worth it!
I am 28, expecting my first. My body is changing and I am embracing it. But I have to say, looking back, I was never satisfied with my body, even when I was considered skinny. It saddens me that I never appreciated myself, always saw the imperfections. But for some time I am loving myself for myself, accepting my body and just focus on trying to get healthier. Not for the sake of being skinny but to live a longer life. That said, all I see in shops is unreasonably tiny dresses, skirts, shirts etc. You always get reminded that you are not that tiny & thin. We need to remind ourselves that our personalities come from within and not from BMI.
Thank you for sharing your different weights through your life and how it didn't make you better/worse because of a magic number on the scale. I've gained weight and I struggle to accept my new size even though I'd fully support my daughters or best friends if they gained weight-it's hard to accept myself. This video helped a bit! Thank you for the community here.
I am 41 and in a weight loss journey, I have always been shamed for having a bigger bum. I was addicted to diet pills from the age of 11. Unfortunately some influencers are given to much power.
What I learnt frombeing smaller and bigger is that clothes majorly affect how I see my body. Uncomfortable clothes that fit poorly affect my self image majorly. Not a fan of low rise jeans and other stuff that focuses on the stomach, as I'm a rectangle naturally. BTW, I too lost quite a lot of fat (and gained quite a bit of muscle) during and after my second pregnancy. I became OK with the weight gain after my first child... but apparently, not the people around me. I've had so many comments like "you were quite larger last time I saw you!". What is it about people feeling OK to comment on other people's weight nowadays?
i think i'm still scarred from that time... i will probably for the rest of my life always look at myself and think: i wish i was skinnier. it's so deeply ingrained in our brains.
Imagine if we stopped praising or insulting others for their appearance. Imagine if we didn’t teach people (especially girls/women) that their worth as a human being is tied to the attractiveness of their body in any way. Imagine if there were no unacceptable ways to exist in a body. If you’re struggling with body image, this is what helped me: pay attention to what makes you feel worse, and give yourself permission to stop doing it. If watching a beauty influencer makes you feel insecure, unfollow them. If you’re taking pictures of yourself and you start to feel bad and ugly, it’s okay to stop taking them, even if you didn’t get a “good one.” If examining yourself in the mirror is making you sad, you don’t have to do it anymore- try doing something else! You’re not losing or failing anything if you let yourself stop doing things that make you feel unhappy. Making yourself miserable every day will never lead to happiness in the future. That’s just a lie our brains tell us. You can’t hate yourself into a body you like, and you don’t have to try. If you don’t find beauty in the mirror, find it in music or nature or your friend’s laugh or a book. It’s way easier than trying to force yourself to be something you’re not, and you’ll have a much better time.
I feel so guilty. This year because of all the talk about thinness (even though I know better and I educated myself about body acceptance in the past) I felt and talked badly about my body because my body is changing. I don’t know why but I just don’t fit in my old clothes anymore. Those clothes are things I wore when I was a teenager so it is obviously not gonna fit forever. So this video came at the right time. I also send it to my sister who is 15 and just started her fitness journey. I am proud of her but I see her believing the lies media tells us AGAIN. It never stops
In middle and high school I was literally a size 2-4 and thought I was fat because of 2000s thin culture. Sometimes I remember it and think to myself "how could I have possibly thought that" but whenever I watch nearly any 2000s movie I instantly know exactly why.
To be honest - i didnt click on your 'what i eat in a day and do to keep fit as a busy mum' video for WEEKS because the thumbnail had 2 images of yourself seemingly comparing yourself. like i LOVE your content but didnt want to click, and having watched it now i know that's definitely not the focus of that video. Love this commentary - and im here for rejecting media that spews toxic rhetoric. Body shapes and types should not be idolized!!!
just turned 40 this year...and ONLY in the past....YEAR or so? have i looked back in shock and realised just how distorted my perception was. the craziest part to me is that i was WARY of body dysmorphia - my older cousin had anorexia (and does to this day) - and i STILL was completely befuddled into thinking my body was unacceptable. it's crazy.
Ugh. Low rise skinny jeans. …I never felt so fat! And it wasn’t bc of my body either- it’s bc of the nature of the shape of the jean- they’re always sliding down bc they’re not able to hang on to any part of the body that would keep them from falling down- so you spent all day hiking them up, until you finally ripped the belt loops off. Internet shopping and online bank card usage wasn’t popular back then either, so you couldn’t find anything BUT low rise jeans to save your life. I remember finally finding mid- and high waisted things at the thrift store and being so relieved and feeling so beautiful in my body- and getting absolutely eaten ALIVE by people making fun of me for wearing them. They told me I looked like a “stewardess” or a “librarian.” …guess who’s having the last laugh, now that everyone is wearing them. 🙃
I was feeling 90’s nostalgic the other day so I started watching the original WB Charmed TV show and I was shook at how thin those women were and how tight and cropped their tops were. I had almost forgotten how much standards of beauty have changed. That was around the same time as the early Friends episodes too. There was NO room for being soft around the middle.
This is so true. I have a mild eating disorder in the hopes I will stay slim, BUT the reality is that my body will NOT get slimmer no matter how much I don't eat. I have hips, bum and boobs and have been 62kg for the last 10 yrs. Wow, even writing this comment is an eye opener 😢 Thank you Melanie for making this video ❤
Skinny was in when I grew up in the 00's. I was teased for my natural curves. Fast forward to the Kardashian era and I had people ask me what gym exercises I did to get my curves. Body types shouldn't be a "trend"
The irony of the "kate moss saying" is that it was said as satire at the time. The model girls had it stuck to their fridge as a joke because they were constantly eating, partying, living the celeb lifestyle. They were literally taking the piss out of the whole thing, then she tries to tell the in joke to the world via a magazine article and not only did the joke not land, but they even misquoted her and it stuck, she has forever been stuck to that phrase.
Also this declaration that Kate never had “an eating disorder” is objectively untrue. Of course she did, they all did/do. All the former VS Angels coming out now saying how they depleted their bodies of all liquid days before the runway shows and some nearly passing out…. Kate thought this was just a part of modeling and not “disordered.”
47 here and struggled for 19 years. I am finally at the low end of the BMI for myself and some days I freak out a little over it. It’s insane. My body brought two babies into the world!
@@lynettedennis9044Same at nearly 53. Low end of BMI, and beginning to push for lower. It’s awful that I feel ‘happier’ the lower the weight I’m achieving.
I'm just confused at the lack of criticism about glorifying "curves", big butts and boobs as some kind of standard, and calling thinner women "flat", but when skinny comes back in fashion, suddenly it's bad again. Both are bad. Embrace people's natural bodies.
i mean i'm flat and skinny too, and i can't speak for all skinny ppl but tbh i was never... made insecure by the 'thicc' trend because it keeps the male gaze in mind and pushes the objectification of curvy women. being thin/'slender' was always seen as being 'graceful' while being 'thicc' fell into the 'sexy' category.
Public service announcement: LOW RISE JEANS HAVE NEVER LOOKED GOOD ON ANYONE, EVER! This message has been paid for by the Fashion Crime Prevention Office
Ahhh, yes. I still remember the medical check-up I got a couple of years ago when the doctor told me that I was dangerously close to being overweight. I weighed 70kg (154 pounds?). For reference I'm 176cm tall (5'7?).
Hi Melanie, can I quickly say something about the sponsorship? I know that you've personally used better help but recently I've come across several posts and articles talking about better helps misconduct when it comes to customer data and also their general work ethic. It might be worth looking into it, if this is a company that really aligns with your believes. I know, mental help is an important issue for you and it would be sad if you realize you promote something to your subscribers, that isn't really what it seems. 💕
It's also where we live, Ireland has NO services and I mean NOTHING, even if you have all the money in the world you literally can't figure me another therapist to take you on, The mental health services here are completely crashing, I think she keeps on with better health because it's the only consistent therapy she has access to, and for other rural people in smaller countries it's the same for them. They might have shit practices, but if it's either an overworked therapist or no therapist at all in terms of the suicide rates...
I'm worried because since thin came back in the pressure on me from family to lose weight got even worse to the point my grandma told me to try ozempic 😭
This is off-topic and I hope not over-reaching, but Melanie, I've followed you for almost seven years now and you LOOK GLOWING FROM THE INSIDE OUT. You truly look the most beautiful I have ever seen on your channel - and I feel it comes from internal factors rather than the external bits. Just amazed at your journey and so appreciate you being honest and genuine as always. Sending love from the US!
I was born 1996 and I am so so happy that I NEVER had these weight perception issues. I also did not understand why people would call Zellweger or Britney Spears fat. People were crazy. BUT. I always had that size 0 body from birth. And let me tell you I was trashed for it even in elementary school. Later as well. But I am German, maybe the culture was different than UK or US. But now with the fat acceptance stuff, women got rude and aggressive towards me. One implied I was less of a person because I wished for a well fitting and waist fitted shirt in XS or at least S. I for one have never trashed people bigger than me for being bigger than me. I am really annoyed that the "chubby girls" can not handle sht either. What's up with people of any size?
I was also young during the 2000s, when thin was in. I was trying to look slimmer because I thought I weighed too much (even though I was already lean). Now, being much older, I am at the point of accepting my body as it is, with all of its "imperfections" (I think that they are also beautiful because they make me, me). One thing that did stick for me was the low-cut jeans. I love those and wear them as I never liked denim pushing on my tummy. Great video.
Not a criticism at all. But it’s so telling that even though Melanie has done so much reflection and education on this topic of body image, her closing comment is still to critique and apply a judgment to her lips. It is SO HARD to love yourself in spite of everything we see and hear.
hard to hear at the end.. and also.. and i may be projecting but.. i feel like melanie logically talks through all of these points but is still herself affected by thin culture.. just that after she lost weight recently she seemed so much more confident and posted so much more content where she showed herself getting dressed.. wore nicer clothes.. talked about ultra processed foods a lot but really.. it felt like she was kind of relieved and over the moon at being in a smaller body? i'm an eating disorder survivor too and i don't want to write a hurtful comment at all, just.. i feel we are all STILL damaged by thin culture more deeply than we care to admit?
"that voice started speaking to me when I was in a pair of low-rise jeans" - DAMN, this hit 🎯 excellent commentary and analysis. I was an early 90s baby as well and so relate to al of this. I still can't shake 'nothing tastes as good as skinny feels' occasionally popping into my mind
The fact is: online culture is a youth culture. And it doesn't matter how much we scream at young people to not make our mistakes - what they deem cool is more important to them than what some old farts like us millennials tell them is better for their psyche. If young people want to starve themselves, there is no stopping them. I've come to the realisation at the ripe age of 30 that I can reject weird trends and scoff at people's bad taste but that ultimately, I can only protect myself from toxic trends, not others.
I agree, I'm 23 and I cannot help but understand that teenagers crave obsessing and harming themselves, as insane as all that is. I know nobody online could have stopped me when I was a teenager. I still absolutely don't feel like an adult, but ageing a few years can massively change your perspective, and sadly, people often need to go through difficulties themselves to come out the other end with new insights and a changed mindset
This video is so important. I was recently in a public library and was horrified to hear young girls working out how many calories they had burnt whilst studying. I’ve also had orthorexia before and a while ago me and my friend admitted to each other that the thing we’re most afraid of in life is getting ‘fat’. It’s all so wrong! Like you say, we need to accept that healthy looks different for everyone, I want us to love our bodies and nourish them for their individual quirks and how they support us throughout our whole life.
I have been "overweight" for most of my life. And yeah, it's definetly messed with my confidence over the years - saying no to too many things, and hating how I look in photographs for over 15 years (though liking how I look in the mirror). That being said, my celebrity "idols" have never been what Hollywood would seem slender ( I still believe they're some of the most beautiful people in the world). Two years ago, I visited Italy for the first time, and saw all those famous painting you read about by the Renaissance greats. And upon inspection, my first thought beyond admiration was, "Huh, so I have a Renaissance ass" (the thought still makes me giggle). My physique has been popular in the past, and who knows might be again someday. But bodies are not meant to be FASHIONABLE, but physically support you to live. So now I never envy how people look, but what they can do what their bodies. People who are talented cooks, skilled in arts or trades, and people who have the strength and energy to move their body whenever they like (sometimes that's down to just getting enough rest). So I focus on how I can make the body I have feel good and strong, rather than try to change myself to look like someone else's ideal of beauty. I wouldnt be that hard on someone else, so why would I be unkind to myself?
Great message! I too remember the crazy levels of skinniness we had to be to feel like we belonged in our skinny jeans. I also hope that my daughter has a nicer time as a teen without crazy standards we had, but I fear it’ll only get worse.
I’m 33 and it’s so refreshing to be in a place in my life where I just don’t care. I’m like damn how am I turning 34 this year? How do I have 2 children? What is this? It makes me realize how short life is. And just how absurd it would be to waste a second of it on how I look. As if anyone gives a damn. My husband is obsessed when I have a little extra going on too so it’s truly pointless to care ever again. Eat healthy. Try to move your body. And live your liiiiife! ✌🏻
I really don’t want to detract from millennials as I understand completely that’s your experience and perspective but growing up as a gen z (I was born in 2000), it never really went away. We grew up with social media and by the time I was 13 I was on tumblr seeing “thinspo” and “aesthetic” images of very small meals. I’m glad of the mid 2010s millennial “body positivity” movement but I think for gen z and other people my age, we kind of didn’t care because all our peers were interested in the “working out and eating like a Victoria’s Secret model for a week” than seeing someone 10 years older than us talk about instagram vs reality. I’m glad also for more restrictions on social media, but just to speak for myself and my friends at the time to say gen z did not have it any easier than millennials growing up in a culture that valued thin bodies.
I’m very early gen z but I still remember being like a 9 year old in like 2006 who started getting too big and too tall for the little boys jeans I’d always worn and just stopping wearing jeans entirely until the 2010s because there was nothing that fit me, nothing that didn’t have sparkles or jewels on the butt (yes even in little girl sizes), nothing that covered my stomach, nothing I could play in without my butt showing, it sucked. It especially sucked because I was so little that I had no way of understanding why this was happening. To top it off I grew up to realize I was trans in my mid twenties and not being able to wear gender neutral or boys clothes anymore because of puberty was so damaging.
I have a very exaggerated hourglass shape, owing to being only 4’11” smol and having a really large round bum and natural 34H bosom. I am often described as “womanly” and a female boss called me “very voluptuous” at work. I’ve had this body type since my teens so I’m strong enough to brush off any comments. I feel terrible, though, when I hear things like “real women have curves” because it suggests that women with bodies unlike mine are not womanly. I was ridiculed in my youth for my curves, but I don’t feel vindicated when thin women are insulted OR when dangerously heavy people are championed.
Thank you for this. I haven't seen another video that really picks apart how it all FELT at the time in so much detail. I also have a strong memory of reading a headline that called Britney fat and that being a driving force behind me forming an ED that is so much better, but still lingering around in some form today. I'm terrified for the younger generations. They're even more image obsessed than we were. Like shooting fish in a barrel. The fact that someone as astoundingly beautiful as you was made to feel disgusting by society just further highlights the ridiculousness of the whole era
I absolutely agree with everything that you are saying, especially in regard to people being basically told off for wanting to lose weight, there is almost no obese person who is healthy - coming from an obese person. I am so aware that I am extremely unhealthy and it really worries me the level some of these content creators who are championing body positivity are going. I need to stop eating takeaways, have less snacks and more healthy food and exercise more and ultimately I NEED to lose weight! But some of these people who are championing body positivity say things like “you can be healthy at any size” “you don’t need to change just because society says you need to change” and I fundamentally disagree with some of the things these people say.
There are lots of people with obesity who don't eat takeout all the time though. Weight is not just about CICO. Ultimately it's about the interactions between genes, hormones, and environment. Which is why many people can live off takeouts and stay slim while others can eat well but be larger.
It is about acceptance, because some of us have hormone, thyroid, blood sugar issues, etc … that we deal with daily and now at 165, I’m starting to accept I may never be 120/130 again, but I’m physically labeled as obese. So yes, acceptance has to come with that, or my life would be miserable.
Glad I’m not the only one who’s noticed this start to trickle back in. Great video, thank you! The societal desire for thinness is even more sinister when you realise that fatphobia is entrenched in racism and the predatory nature of putting traditionally prebubscent figures on a pedstal if you can even call it that, and not paedophillia!
Excellent video! Even on the smallest body, low rise jeans look terrible. They are coming back now so everyone will go out and buy them (to profit the clothing industry), which of course feeds into all you are saying. Let's not forget about toxic men who are critical of women's bodies while thinking they are all Adonis (hahaha-they need to take a hard look in the mirror). It's important to be healthy and happy with yourself and to be who you really are other than a physical presentation. Thank you again for this video and I am sure, even though your daughter is so young, that this concerns you greatly!
![Felix "Unfair" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Oswujxm2Ag0/mqdefault.jpg)
The trigger warning is in the title my loves. Please don’t watch if you’re in a really bad patch mentally when it comes to this topic ❤️ If you’re actively working through it or if you’re stronger mentally now…please chat to me down here about how the thin culture of the past impacted you & how you feel about the trend cycle of women’s bodies xxx
Literally every time I pass a reflective surface I body check always comparing, feeling secretly better than people bigger than me, it goes on and on. Never truly eating anything “yummy” guilt free
I never bought into it and I've never understood why people wanna be skinny. To me it always looks weak and puny and inferior. I'd never say skinny was better than bigger and it is actually a trigger for me. I do get offended that people always hated fat so much that even a tiny bit of meat on you would be bad, wrong, disgusting. While I always found fat to be really sexy. I loved how fatter girls looked and I always wanted to look like them.
I was always a skinny kid and I hated it.
People now will say fat is bad because it's unhealthy but u always had back and hip problems since I was quite young even when I was skinny.
I hated how I looked. I didn't like bones sticking out and if I saw myself naked or minimally dressed in the mirror or anybody that was skinny id just think how bad they or I looked.
Honestly I think that thinness is coming back bc the “body positivity” movement did not even touch the core issue. They are still hyper fixating and moralizing bodies. The blanket praise of thinness is the same as the blanket praise of fatness- it’s still saying ”good job for having this specific body! It’s now your personality”. We need to move towards body neutrality. This is a body and I live in it. It’s the least interesting thing about me.
That, _and_ they started promoting obesity as healthy and telling people it's now taboo to say junk food is bad for you.
It's interesting. I've had a completely different view and experience of the body positivity movement. Maybe because I was mostly in feminist circles at the time where we held the accurate meaning of words in high regard as our discussions were often highly theoretical. To me, 'body positivity' has always entailed what the current 'body neutrality' movement is fighting for. I NEVER learned from it that suddenly 'thin = bad and fat = good'.
I also think we should really examine the messages that are put forward in the movement - are we actually getting the message that being fat is being praised? Or do we still have so much internalized fatphobia that literally just seeing people praise their own fat body, that we don't accept this as just one person trying to love their body?
YES. Our bodies are vehicles and homes, they are not us. We are not these shells we exist in. It's degrading to our entire species to regard the bodies more than the people we are.
@@hayley179g Honey, you don't have to eat junk food to be fat, and you don't have to avoid junk food to be thin. Medical issues can cause both over and underweight and that is the reality. Just because your body works normally doesn't mean everyone's does. Judging people *on sight* makes you part of the problem. Don't do it.
Gosh, spot on, its the least important thing about us!!!!!!
this is why millenials and gen x dont want to give up high rise. we were finally free. i had severe anorexia in the early 2000's (2004-5) and I had to be hospitalized. Im almost 40 now... and I have found those same feelings creeping back in. This really weird obsession with my body. I truly think its the trends recirculating. I worry for my 13 year old daughter.
Nothing wrong with wearing low rise either
@@lottavuorinenwoooosh!
@hayley179g lol is that the comment going over their head? Made me chuckle after being enraged so thanks :p
Sameeeee - I was hospitalized in high school for anorexia and it makes me sad to see this ultra-skinny trend coming back. Seems like we won’t ever move on from body types as trends but I hope someday we can get there through dressing / expressing ourselves in ways that suit our individuality
Millennial here who contestant high rise, it's so uncomfortable and highlights my belly more. Low rise forever.
It's called cachexia. When the body wastes away and loses muscle, and often fat as well, due to illness. During medical school we are drilled to ask every single patient if they have any unexplained weight loss because it's a huge red flag for cancer, mental health issues etc. After asking it about 100 times it began to change my perception of weight loss, helped me to glorify it less in my own head
Thank you for your apt professional insight. 🌸🍀 Helpful for our points of view.
Lord Jesus Christ is coming back everyone, please don’t worship celebrities and entertainment, focus on Him alone. I promise there’s more to life than money, partying, homosexuality and music. Hell is real, repent from sinning confess your sins and ask God to forgive you, I know He will if you’re sincere. Anyone who thinks the Name of Lord Jesus Christ is a joke, boldly mocks and scorns Him or takes pleasure in people who do is in for a big unpleasant surprise on judgement day IF they don’t repent and follow Lord Jesus Christ. Hell is very hot, people please repent! In the mighty name of Lord Jesus Christ, Amen 🙏💪✝️💜❤️✝️!
Idolatry such as, Islam, Catholicism, Sangomaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Racism, Santa Clausism, Confucianism, New Age, Science, Evolution, halloweenism, Harry Potterism, Politics, Donald Trumpism, Easter Bunnyism and other religions/faiths that are outside Biblical Christianity lead to hell! Don’t believe them, believe the Almighty God the Father of Lord Jesus Christ, who begot Him. Our Creator, The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob is mighty, He doesn’t need a woman to beget a son, He is God. I choose to put my faith in a God who can do anything and everything, a God who has unlimited and infinite power to beget!
So, it’s time to confess that Lord Jesus Christ is the Lord and to believe that He died and rose from the grave after three days and you shall be saved if you only obey Him by praying, worshipping, praising, reading the Bible and living holy and righteously according to the Bible. You have to endure until the end, carry your cross daily and build your relationship with God by following Lord Jesus daily until the end. You must never renounce your faith in The Lord Jesus Christ, there’s hell awaiting those who reject/deny Lord Jesus Christ and those who continue living sinfully, even the Christians who don’t want to repent will face the same fate, so please repent beloved people, in Lord Jesus Christ’s mighty and precious Name, Amen.
Unfortunately, all this is nothing new. I grew up in the 70s-80s and while we didn't have the Internet and influencers, we did have massive messaging in the media, women's and teen magazines, and a lot more ignorance about eating disorders and nutrition. It totally messed me up. It still messes me up often, and I know a lot more now. Part of it is that I can intellectually reject the messaging and all the toxic beliefs about bodies and weight and beauty, but I can still feel like sh*t about myself. It's so hard to hang onto your own self worth and body appreciation in a screwed up culture.
Also, Kate Moss may have repeated the phrase "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" in the 2000s, but it's been around for decades before that, at least over here in the U.S. It's so toxic!
I remember when "Twiggy" Lawson in the 60's was what we aspired to be.
@@reflexxuns767yes and As I know she was and is very positive person, these times unaware of future trends, taking advantage that her features were appreciated in clothes@co Modelling
The O.G. influencer was the magazines in the 80's/90's where the prices was hidden in the back. So, for a brief moment I thought I could get the 'thing' and look like 'someone' only to realize I couldn't afford the 'thing' and I lived too far from where the 'thing' was sold...so an E.D. was my remaining 'thing' I had access to to feel like I'd fit in. 🙄
I’m 41. I’ll never forget that when I was a size 6 teen in the late 90s/early 00s, ppl would tell me it was ok to be “bigger” bc Selma Hayek and Gerri Halliwell were “bigger” and still considered sexy. 💀
Holy motherforking shirtballs, theres so much wrong in just one sentence. im sorry you had to go through that, im 38 an i remember the nineties were pretty rough when it came to weight
Same, I'm 36. I'm short, naturally muscular and haven't been smaller than a D cup since 10(except when I had an active ED). It almost killed me to be a size 2 when a soze 6 is skinny for me, a size 8 is comfy for me. While I am glad that I can find pants that are lower rise now(im 5'2" w/a short torso), I don't want me now 5 yo daughter to live thru the BS I did.
Exactly it’s sickening that women who are already small/thin get told they are “bigger”. I had an ex boyfriend tell me I needed to lose weight at a very fit 135lb!
@MelModica yea, I've had that happen to me as well. My husband has always liked me better at 140-150 lbs. When I start getting under 140, he makes comments like, "babe, are you feeling OK? You need to eat more." Or when I mention I want to get back down to 125-130 and he's like, "babe, you are a grown woman and a mother, you are meant to have curves." ThT man is my peace in a crazy world and a mirror when I need it. A good partner/strong family make a huge difference. I had a mother who has had disordered eating my entire 36 yes of life, and from how she tells it, since the late 70s as a teen. I will not pass that on to my daughter.
I lived in L.A in the early 2000's. Women were living on black coffee, cigarettes, and Adderall. I saw so many young women who could barely walk because they were starving and exhausted (they also worked out for hours a day).
I gave birth to my kids in 2001 and 2003. Waddling around Melrose Avenue surrounded by 19 year-olds in size 00 low-rise jeans was... an experience.
Also, have you noticed that the super-skinny trend always seems to come back around whenever women's rights are in the spotlight? Almost as if society wants us to be too wrapped up in our appearance, and be too exhausted, to focus on the really important stuff.
If women are returning to being thin, that is actually a very good sign. Overweight women are the greatest symbol of oppression. The more misogynistic a culture is, the more overweight the women are. And when they try to present being overweight as something natural and healthy, it only frustrates women... Thus, as an act of sanity, women want to return to their natural appearance. The natural appearance for most women is slim. The more a woman lives in a sane environment, the more likely she is to be slim. It is men who attempt to portray women as overweight and make them overweight to naturally dominate them. Naturally, a woman has a narrower, slimmer, and more delicate appearance, not the man. They are envious of women.
The fucking irony that RUclips ran three different diet adverts while I was watching this video.
But thank you, Melanie. You do amazing work and speak truth, I really appreciate you.
Someone who has experienced disorder eating, body dysmorphia and self harm because of toxic diet culture. This video really meant something to me, so thank you.
Saaame I got a diet ad right before 🥲
Same got a couple diet adverts or medical weight loss 🙃
…..Yep I also got diet ads…..
found it ironic it's sponsored by better help lol
Arent a lot of YT ads are chosen by your google ads settings and reflect your activity online? I dont get diet ads at all on YT, mostly just annoying as hell Temu ads.
Editing to add that you can use your google ad settings to ban topics you find harmful to your mental health- you can and should turn off those diet ads if they upset you!
God i remember even sitting on chairs pointing my toes so that my thighs didnt rest on the chair and look 'big'
Wow
I still do that😭😭😭
Why are we like this. One of my earliest memories about my body is me in kindergarten noticing how my thighs are thicker than other girls'. Kindergarten!!
😥 me at the age of 7 .. 7 !!
@@slavbarbiesame, just a bit older, like 6 or 7 😢
Please don't support BetterHelp.
Why? What’s wrong with better help
I once read in another comment section that (allegedly) some therapists are tr*nsphobic and support conversion therapy
A few people have made more detailed videos about it, but there've been a few things - off the top of my head, there've been some significant issues with confidentiality/privacy, people being ghosted by therapists or counselors, and clients being assigned to someone super incompatible, like a gay guy who was matched with a conservative Christian counselor who took a very conversion 'therapy' approach. I'd have to double check, but I remember hearing someplace that they're also pushing their therapists and counselors to accept so many clients that it affects the quality of the care they can provide.
glad to see people speaking up about this
@@Selenagomez42035 long story short, basically they’re a horrible company. 💁🏽♀️
My own mother used to tell me that “pinch an inch” thing. I remember being 12 and she noticed my tummy rolls when I was sitting down (I was all of 125 lbs soaking wet) and that began an eating disorder for me. Came to find out she herself was anorexic and was just downloading her own issues onto me… it makes me so sad for our generation. I’m 32 and I finally accept myself. It feels great. Am I happy with everything? No. But who is? I’m just glad to be healthier now. ❤❤
same here. my mom constantly commented on my jawline or tummyrolls. I was not as skinny as my sibblings - I thought I was "huge" ( but I was an average kid) - my mom and grandma projected their fatphobia on us
The irony of getting an Ozempic ad right after this video ended
Shouldn't this be available only with prescription? I find it bizzare that there are ads for prescription medicines.
it’s really great to hear this from someone who went through those terrible “heroin chic” years. im a ’98 baby but i was obsessed with teen magazines as a child and the skinny fad was so prevalent. it’s crazy now seeing videos of objectively small women where all the top comments are calling them fat in one way or another. it gets framed as okay because it relates to health, even though we know it’s not really about that. as if people aren’t ever healthier when they’re heavier. or as if it’s anyone’s business what someone is or isn’t doing for their health. it’s unsolicited advice taken to the cruellest level because for some reason it’s okay to treat fat people horrendously.
and you’re right it gets so complicated when body positivity influencers are held to crazy standards to be the perfect role model. it’s hard to reconcile the mass amounts of information about health and wellness and expectations on the internet. i just wish there wasn’t so much moral value applied to someone’s size. i gained weight entering adulthood the way a lot of people do and i'm worried for teenagers today coming out of this when the culture on the internet is inescapable nowadays
Glad I’m not the only one who’s noticed this start to trickle back in. Great video!
Body size and "thinness" should never be a fashion trend.
Or far acceptance
Neither should especially fat acceptance
Neither should curviness and bbls, fake boobs, duck lips, fillers, botox, etx. It's all fake and toxic.
Or "curves"
"should never" but we all know they'll be, one way or another.
Let's also get rid of the "curvy" trend. There are people who now shame women for being "flat". There are even people calling certain body shapes "perfect" or "that's what men want", etc. Funny how men's wants seem to change with the trends too. I don't remember them complaining when size zero was in fashion.
I think curvy, chubby and fat are perfect. Being skinny makes you look starving and sick, deprived of food perhaps because you're poor or because someone is depriving you of food. How is being skinny a good thing? Has always blown my mind since I was a kid
@@magicmoonart excuse me I don't know if you're a bot, but you probably don't realize how problematic and toxic your comment is. Imagine if someone said "skinny is perfect. Being ". You'd go off in the comments. The hypocrisy is absolutely unhinged with this "body positivity" movement. What makes you think being naturally thin means unhealthy?
@@sasharob3918 being naturally thin Is fine ime talking about all these morons who think it's a cool idea that no matter how thin they are they think they should force themselves to get even skinnier!, I think it's disgusting that all these celebs are encouraging this toxic shit it's not my comment that's toxic. It's society for making all these poor girls think they have to starve themselves to the point of immaciation. If you think I'm toxic you're dead wrong
@@sasharob3918OK so I replied to this earlier but it doesn't seem to have posted my reply, so now I've got to try again. Lord knows if I'll be able to word it as well as I did earlier but here goes.
The term "curvy" is a valid word to describe a person who has curves as a posed to a more flat body shape. Usually somebody who has a bigger top half, a small waist and a bigger bottom half and shapely legs, usually bigger at the top aka thighs and tapers down the leg.
It is not a nicer word to mean fat.
You can be curvy thin or curvy fat.
I do not condone the whole deal of gloryfying skinny again. I think it's terrible that celebrities are trying to promote getting to the point of being as skinny as possible. It sends a bad message to young ones.
I thi k it's very toxic.
Someone on the comments said that the reason for the return of the 2000s skinny gloryfying is because of the hatred of the fat acceptance stuff.
Seems counter productive but hey what do I know!
They were trying to suggest people accept fat people, not gloryfy them.
Skinny culture is actively gloryfying it which I don't even get.
Anyway, I never said that there was anything wrong with being naturally thin. I was simply saying that I find it terrible that normal weight girls actively try to get as skinny as possible
@@magicmoonartyeah, fat people are 'curvy'. A huge single curve. A circle💀
My eating disorder (anorexia) is so ingrained that no matter what I’ve always felt ‘happier’ at an extremely low weight even when I was actually… not ‘happier’. I still would take that over being a bit chubbier and happier. And I don’t know how to ever let go of it. Being thin is like the only thing I can… do. And control. And be… it’s me :( and it’s so sad. I would never want young girls to end up like me where this is just… it. For the rest of their lives. I can’t see ever letting it go. I can’t let it go. It’s always there, when I feel like I have nothing left. It’s sick!!! I was a preteen/young teen with unrestricted access to the internet during the HEIGHT of the pro ed culture. It’s really sad. I am scared to see thinness becoming SUCH a trend again but I don’t think it ever actually went away to begin with.
Better Help is a horrible disgusting company and you really shouldn’t be accepting them as a sponsor
Why is it bad?
She knows. She's just trying to get that bag.
Better Help was wonderful for me and has helped thousands of people. I could not find a local therapist in my area and after months of searching ended up with Better Help, and I’m glad I didn’t listen to the internet parrots who think they know everything about everything.
Accusing her of just being after sponsor money is gross, and says a lot more about you internet warriors.
@@cyliefields1620 they are an Israeli company and they've had multiple scandals over selling customer data to companies like meta
I used it too, and found it great. Have seen people say it's bad, but noone has ever said why
I got so confused by all these movies you listed. I remember watching Bridget Jones when I was in middle school and being so confused about why they constantly talk about her weight. My mum had the books, so I opened one and it said she was somewhere around 60 kilos, I think. Even suggesting that is an unhealthy weight is COMPLETELY ABSURD!! Then I asked myself: well what does that make me?
I developed anorexia at 15, bulimia at 17, BED in early 20s and still have body dysmorphia in my 30s.
Great conversation.
The thin look was earlier than 2000's.
Lost my 20's, 30's, half 40's to it.
What a waste of life.
The world becomes very small as your organs, particularly the brain, become depleted.
Keep taliking about it Girls.
Call it out.
Aim to feel healthy, which will likely mean you will need a decent layer of weight to hold a sense of balance and calm within your system, and not have obsessive mental thoughts.
AI and social media will make life impossible for reality.
Appreciate the body you have been gifted.
No option.
Amen! I'm GenX and my goodness the years I squandered!
I have zero regrets if I didn't diet and work out I'd have a hideous body, I made a lot of money off of my looks back in the day
@@Four-HundredEl-Beez-yp7nkI hope one day you’re able to love yourself for you, and not how people think you look. Looks fade, but shit personalities are forever.
@FreshFlamingo You obviously have a shit personality. Nothing wrong with looking good & valuing that about yourself!
“I was one of the weird kids that sat under the stairs.”
I felt that very viscerally 😅
Same. Same.
I'm a person who turns to food for comfort, with a brain who is constantly chasing dopamine. I'm bigger than what I've ever been.. I just can't stop.. I will never say that being fat is healthy, but I'm also so tired of people thinking that fat people have no self-awareness.. I know I'm fat, I know it's not good or healthy, I know what there is to do about it.. I KNOW! But my depression doesn't allow me to have willpower to try to fix it... Don't disguise bullying as caring.
You could be telling my story. You are not alone. Thank you for your sharing.
Same. I recently found out I have ADHD and apparently with this there is a dopamine deficit. But I also get a high when I dance and sometimes when I lift weight and do martial arts. I have been doing it to balance things out and also trying to eat healthy sometimes. It's still even hard to lose weight. High cortisol could also be the cause so I no longer drink coffee every day and I am less anxious at least.
@@venomsorceress Yeah, that dopamine deficit I have felt waaaay too clearly lol.. It has messed up my body.
@@Mel.ani.N Yeah, I'm just so sick of people thinking we have no self-awareness, when I'm probably more self-aware than others in my age.. Ugh.
@@skrittle555 I am european. And I do go to therapy.
Wow thank you for this video melanie! What you said about being sandwiched between diet cultures’ unrealistic standards + body positivity/fat acceptance resonated so deeply. I’ve been stuck in that place for so long, afraid to create any boundaries with food out of fear that it would spiral into the early 2000’s type of dieting and body hate. I’ve never heard that articulated so clearly before!! Thanks to time and growth though I am now learning how to take care of my nutrition without going to an extreme end. 🤞
I shaved my head this years even though I loved my long curly hair because I felt like other people were just responding to my image rather than to me. My female boss was clearly challenged by my youth and she has calmed down a lot since I shaved my head, I get sexually harassed less on the streets and people at work take me more seriously and other people think I am less naive. Being a woman is hard and I hate that I can’t be feminine and still be thought of as savage and brave as much. It has been a real eye opener.
Not sure if you’ve heard of the better help controversies 😅
This is a reminder of how different social media is based on algorithms. I knew nothing about the diet culture resurgence! Feeds and algorithms change a lot, but I’m glad mine makes me feel safe and happy right now.
Such a beautiful message! I am 20 years old and have noticed a certain shift towards thin bodies, especially now with the popularization of Ozempic, which has been treated so casually that at one point, it almost convinced me to consider it. I have always been a bit bigger and have struggled with my self-image for most of my life due to societal standards and criticism from my own mother. Seeing how lovingly you speak of your daughter made me tear up. The expectations for women can be extremely overwhelming, but being shown love and respect at home can go a long way. I say this because it’s what I wished I had as an insecure, bigger-sized teenage girl. Sending much love to you! :)
It was a crazy time! I was 5''5" and 116 lbs, US size 2, and felt monstrously fat. I could barely wear a tank top in public. Forget about a bathing suit! The celebrities and "hot" girls were all medically underweight, and we all aspired to be anorexic. So crazy.
I forgot how toxic the early 2000’s were - I remember being around 10 years old and doing ridiculous amounts of sit ups in my bedroom to get ‘abs’. The body shaming in magazines too - ugh!! I think it was the start of me becoming aware of my appearance and feeling insecure, those feelings never really left. I wish we’d leave bodies alone ❤
I did the same in my early teens. My parents both accused me of being pregnant at 13 because I was bloated (and also growing 🙃) which gave me major body image problems.
It was also the erea everyone started eating too much!!!!?
It's toxic now, too, with the "curvy" BBL trend and shaming women with smaller body parts. It never ends.
The diets they all promoted while pretending to feminist omfg
I was hungry during that time
Gen Z here lol. And for me being born in the 2000's, I did see a little bit of it but growing up in the age of social media lead to a whole lot of harmful stuff. I remember believing that I wished I had the "willpower" to restrict my food and be anorexic. This was when I was 12. I'm still struggling with remembering that "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" and "I'll be happy when I'm skinny" is so wrong. It's just so hard to remember sometimes that there is no point in trying to be as skinny as possible. Often times I just wonder how I can stop hearing the voice that keeps telling me I need to lose weight or, maybe I should try that new diet or eat less, etc.
I’m relapsing bad right now due to this, I just got out of treatment last year for the second time and thought I was on track to make a full recovery but society had other plans, thank you so much for talking about this it felt like I was going crazy
You’re so beautiful, don’t forget it. It will get better, stay strong 🤍 don’t look at social media just enjoy the present that will be a memory.
God the 2000s where brutal to every woman that had a figure of a woman and not a child. Still suffering
So happy you’ve made this video. I’ve noticed this so much recently. Especially on that news talk interview. I was ENRAGED
As someone who went through ED recovery, the hardest part was noticing the fatphobia and dietculture all around us. All the comments from women feeling like they‘re eating too much, they’re being fat, was so upsetting. And not participating in it made me seem weird - especially because I gained 60lbs during recovery and was bigger than ever. But also the whole hate against Ozempic makes me so mad because losing weight is not just counting calories. During my ED years when I didn‘t eat much at all, I was never skinny. Taking a medication for a medical indication is so valid! And it works! And it gave me back my life without falling back into disordered eating. I dream of a world where the obsession with women‘s bodies finally stops.
This thin worship is not going away any time soon. I grew up in the skinny seventies and it was already bad then. I went through hell trying to achieve a figure that my healthy athletic build was not shaped for. Even now, with bad body dysmorphia, I struggle and can only manage disordered eating
People have different genes, different medical conditions, etc. We can't know a stranger's health or lack thereof very easily. Unless someone is on the extreme end, like in body conditions that make them weak from lack of energy or unable to move or in genuine danger of death as determined by a doctor, diversity is strictly a good thing. One of the most healing relationships I've ever had was me bonding with a very skinny guy over how harshly we were judged by strangers over the visible results of our invisible mental and physical health problems.
Stress contributes to weight issues. Everyone's on their own journey. The world sucks less the more we support each other, and embrace diversity and healthy lifestyles.
It upsets me so much when people think fat people don't have self-awareness.. Most do. There is just often an underlying problem behind. In my case.. Comfort eating. And when people constantly points out fat people's weight, it makes me sad and want to eat even more.. People aren't realizing how they're contributing to making the situation even worse with their comments
This really brought me back to how media was when I was in my teens! I used to be SOOO envious of Britney and Nicole Scherzinger abs!! I've taken a break from IG + TikTok and feel such a change mentally. (not feeling infiltrated by everyone else's opinions and judgements + societal expectations!)
Thank you for making a video to highlight this and come from a very loving perspective! ❤
Hey! I really loved this video, alongside many others of yours (started watching you in my teens, 27 now) Just one comment.. I think it's a shame after all the great stuff you said about body acceptance and positivity to make the comments about your lips being small. As someone with naturally very thin lips, this beauty ideal in the media can be hurtful, especially coming from someone like yourself who has beautiful full lips. I just don't feel any sort of negative comments about our features or weight are necessary as it reinforces that there is only one beauty ideal
"She has a well-fed body" said as a pejorative thing is... just... mind blowing. Not an "over-fed body"... a well fed. It literally tells you that you need to be under-fed/ill-fed to attain the "skinny beauty" standards. 😭
I remember a couple of places Christina Applegates characters said some things that have stuck with me. "A moment on your lips, forever on your hips." I think that was her. Specifically from a Friend's episode as well as the movie, The Sweetest Thing. In that movie, they were hill walking to work off something considered indulgent.
I heard "a minute on your lips, a lifetime on your hips" all throughout the late 70s and 80s😔
@@miakilroy1239My mother still says that 😒
I frickin love your mind, Melanie! Being a millennial and experiencing all that unhealthy content about bodies, beauty, and health was so hard! And now, to see it resurfacing is scary... Also, I think a lot of millennials have never shaken off those unhealthy messages and perpetuate that cycle in their own lives. I remember, here in the US, we have a crappy MLM known as Herbalife, and so many people fell victim to their health products and their unethical work practices. I thought most of us realized they are a terrible company! But low and behold, I have family that are well into their 30s and are now posting content about herbalife and how it can help you obtain the body of your dreams.... feels like deja vu of the early 2000's 😢
I just turned 39 myself. I think what's happening is the fashions are coming back which means crop tops.
I’m so glad you made this. It touches on so many good points.
I wish youtubers would stop shilling betterhelp.
I was born in 1971. Growing up in the '70, '80s & early '90s gave me life long body images. There were 2 sizes-thin & thinner. I am not a heavy person but anyone that was my size in the media would have been called 'plus size'. Media, please stop the pressure on us.....
Oh my God, same. It’s really hitting me right now and I’m 53 at the end of this month!
How does it still affect us at this age?
Re: Gwyneth Paltrow. With all due respect, if she is just eating: Soup, bone broth, protein and veg, along with a black coffee, what on earth is she detoxing from??
Thank you for touching on this topic! I’ve a history of eating disorders/body issues and I’m also in my 30’s, living through this the first time was hard enough. It’s been a little bit triggering lately but I’ve got my coping skills and support network - it’s the young girls I feel for. Hopefully with people speaking out they can see all body types are beautiful 🖤
I love how balanced this conversation is! As a woman a bit younger (29) I remember some of this stuff, but I think it seeped in less. Whereas my mom who has been overweight most of my life due to injuries preventing her from being ambulatory for long periods, was often trying to lose weight and be healthier, I saw plenty and had some stuff that weaseled its way in, it's always about my stomach weight or my skin being flabby and not toned on my arms or legs. CRAZY stuff. But it is important to consider your health above anything else. I have always loved your take on health, fitness and body positivity. This video is great!
You are so gorgeous it’s INSANE
right? she reminds me of Alison Brie and Alexis Bledel
Ugh thank you for this! I was just remembering that when I’ve been at my smallest as an adult it was always because I wasn’t doing well mentally or physically. I either had such bad anxiety that I felt nauseous all the time and physically couldn’t eat enough or I had GI issues, and these are besides the eating disorder that was soooo happy I was getting smaller. I felt horrible and was scared. It’s not worth it!
I am 28, expecting my first. My body is changing and I am embracing it. But I have to say, looking back, I was never satisfied with my body, even when I was considered skinny. It saddens me that I never appreciated myself, always saw the imperfections.
But for some time I am loving myself for myself, accepting my body and just focus on trying to get healthier. Not for the sake of being skinny but to live a longer life.
That said, all I see in shops is unreasonably tiny dresses, skirts, shirts etc. You always get reminded that you are not that tiny & thin. We need to remind ourselves that our personalities come from within and not from BMI.
Thank you for sharing your different weights through your life and how it didn't make you better/worse because of a magic number on the scale. I've gained weight and I struggle to accept my new size even though I'd fully support my daughters or best friends if they gained weight-it's hard to accept myself. This video helped a bit! Thank you for the community here.
I am 41 and in a weight loss journey, I have always been shamed for having a bigger bum. I was addicted to diet pills from the age of 11. Unfortunately some influencers are given to much power.
What I learnt frombeing smaller and bigger is that clothes majorly affect how I see my body. Uncomfortable clothes that fit poorly affect my self image majorly. Not a fan of low rise jeans and other stuff that focuses on the stomach, as I'm a rectangle naturally.
BTW, I too lost quite a lot of fat (and gained quite a bit of muscle) during and after my second pregnancy. I became OK with the weight gain after my first child... but apparently, not the people around me. I've had so many comments like "you were quite larger last time I saw you!". What is it about people feeling OK to comment on other people's weight nowadays?
i think i'm still scarred from that time... i will probably for the rest of my life always look at myself and think: i wish i was skinnier. it's so deeply ingrained in our brains.
Imagine if we stopped praising or insulting others for their appearance. Imagine if we didn’t teach people (especially girls/women) that their worth as a human being is tied to the attractiveness of their body in any way. Imagine if there were no unacceptable ways to exist in a body.
If you’re struggling with body image, this is what helped me: pay attention to what makes you feel worse, and give yourself permission to stop doing it. If watching a beauty influencer makes you feel insecure, unfollow them. If you’re taking pictures of yourself and you start to feel bad and ugly, it’s okay to stop taking them, even if you didn’t get a “good one.” If examining yourself in the mirror is making you sad, you don’t have to do it anymore- try doing something else! You’re not losing or failing anything if you let yourself stop doing things that make you feel unhappy. Making yourself miserable every day will never lead to happiness in the future. That’s just a lie our brains tell us.
You can’t hate yourself into a body you like, and you don’t have to try. If you don’t find beauty in the mirror, find it in music or nature or your friend’s laugh or a book. It’s way easier than trying to force yourself to be something you’re not, and you’ll have a much better time.
I feel so guilty. This year because of all the talk about thinness (even though I know better and I educated myself about body acceptance in the past) I felt and talked badly about my body because my body is changing. I don’t know why but I just don’t fit in my old clothes anymore. Those clothes are things I wore when I was a teenager so it is obviously not gonna fit forever. So this video came at the right time. I also send it to my sister who is 15 and just started her fitness journey. I am proud of her but I see her believing the lies media tells us AGAIN. It never stops
I'm literally 56kg and still feel so so fat. The impact the 2000s media had on us was insane.
BS
In middle and high school I was literally a size 2-4 and thought I was fat because of 2000s thin culture. Sometimes I remember it and think to myself "how could I have possibly thought that" but whenever I watch nearly any 2000s movie I instantly know exactly why.
Mid 30s now.... In 2007 at 6'1" and 140lbs I was told I still needed to be thinner. This was not a fun time for body image.
To be honest - i didnt click on your 'what i eat in a day and do to keep fit as a busy mum' video for WEEKS because the thumbnail had 2 images of yourself seemingly comparing yourself. like i LOVE your content but didnt want to click, and having watched it now i know that's definitely not the focus of that video.
Love this commentary - and im here for rejecting media that spews toxic rhetoric. Body shapes and types should not be idolized!!!
just turned 40 this year...and ONLY in the past....YEAR or so? have i looked back in shock and realised just how distorted my perception was.
the craziest part to me is that i was WARY of body dysmorphia - my older cousin had anorexia (and does to this day) - and i STILL was completely befuddled into thinking my body was unacceptable. it's crazy.
Ugh. Low rise skinny jeans. …I never felt so fat! And it wasn’t bc of my body either- it’s bc of the nature of the shape of the jean- they’re always sliding down bc they’re not able to hang on to any part of the body that would keep them from falling down- so you spent all day hiking them up, until you finally ripped the belt loops off.
Internet shopping and online bank card usage wasn’t popular back then either, so you couldn’t find anything BUT low rise jeans to save your life.
I remember finally finding mid- and high waisted things at the thrift store and being so relieved and feeling so beautiful in my body- and getting absolutely eaten ALIVE by people making fun of me for wearing them. They told me I looked like a “stewardess” or a “librarian.”
…guess who’s having the last laugh, now that everyone is wearing them. 🙃
I was feeling 90’s nostalgic the other day so I started watching the original WB Charmed TV show and I was shook at how thin those women were and how tight and cropped their tops were. I had almost forgotten how much standards of beauty have changed. That was around the same time as the early Friends episodes too. There was NO room for being soft around the middle.
This is so true. I have a mild eating disorder in the hopes I will stay slim, BUT the reality is that my body will NOT get slimmer no matter how much I don't eat. I have hips, bum and boobs and have been 62kg for the last 10 yrs. Wow, even writing this comment is an eye opener 😢 Thank you Melanie for making this video ❤
Skinny was in when I grew up in the 00's. I was teased for my natural curves. Fast forward to the Kardashian era and I had people ask me what gym exercises I did to get my curves. Body types shouldn't be a "trend"
In the black community skinny was not it in the early 2000s. I got all kinds of names made fun of for absolutely no reason
The irony of the "kate moss saying" is that it was said as satire at the time. The model girls had it stuck to their fridge as a joke because they were constantly eating, partying, living the celeb lifestyle. They were literally taking the piss out of the whole thing, then she tries to tell the in joke to the world via a magazine article and not only did the joke not land, but they even misquoted her and it stuck, she has forever been stuck to that phrase.
What quote?
@@charssparks2238”nothing tastes as good as being skinny”
I have a hard time believing that.
Also this declaration that Kate never had “an eating disorder” is objectively untrue. Of course she did, they all did/do. All the former VS Angels coming out now saying how they depleted their bodies of all liquid days before the runway shows and some nearly passing out…. Kate thought this was just a part of modeling and not “disordered.”
@@FreshFlamingo "they all did/do" is just false.
Yep. I'm 40, almost 41. I fight with anorexia for almost 30 years. And now this culture is fricking BACK?!
47 here and struggled for 19 years. I am finally at the low end of the BMI for myself and some days I freak out a little over it. It’s insane. My body brought two babies into the world!
@@lynettedennis9044Same at nearly 53. Low end of BMI, and beginning to push for lower.
It’s awful that I feel ‘happier’ the lower the weight I’m achieving.
I'm just confused at the lack of criticism about glorifying "curves", big butts and boobs as some kind of standard, and calling thinner women "flat", but when skinny comes back in fashion, suddenly it's bad again. Both are bad. Embrace people's natural bodies.
That’s essentially what the video is about.
i mean i'm flat and skinny too, and i can't speak for all skinny ppl but tbh i was never... made insecure by the 'thicc' trend because it keeps the male gaze in mind and pushes the objectification of curvy women. being thin/'slender' was always seen as being 'graceful' while being 'thicc' fell into the 'sexy' category.
Facts the point is to be healthy the heroin chic thing is dangerous just like the glorification of obesity
Public service announcement: LOW RISE JEANS HAVE NEVER LOOKED GOOD ON ANYONE, EVER!
This message has been paid for by the Fashion Crime Prevention Office
The Tiny Legs Squad lmfao 🤣
Hey are comfy. My belly is free!!!!
Ahhh, yes. I still remember the medical check-up I got a couple of years ago when the doctor told me that I was dangerously close to being overweight.
I weighed 70kg (154 pounds?).
For reference I'm 176cm tall (5'7?).
WTF... Are you for real??
@Lilla88able unfortunately :')
Hi Melanie, can I quickly say something about the sponsorship? I know that you've personally used better help but recently I've come across several posts and articles talking about better helps misconduct when it comes to customer data and also their general work ethic. It might be worth looking into it, if this is a company that really aligns with your believes. I know, mental help is an important issue for you and it would be sad if you realize you promote something to your subscribers, that isn't really what it seems. 💕
I think she doesn't care about the moral implications of promoting them because it's her only consistent paying advertisement as of recent years.
It's also where we live, Ireland has NO services and I mean NOTHING, even if you have all the money in the world you literally can't figure me another therapist to take you on, The mental health services here are completely crashing, I think she keeps on with better health because it's the only consistent therapy she has access to, and for other rural people in smaller countries it's the same for them. They might have shit practices, but if it's either an overworked therapist or no therapist at all in terms of the suicide rates...
@@khia7676wild
If she live in Ireland I can't blame her because there's not much other choice sadly
@@softbunny.gif- Why exactly? I'm sure there are other brands that are willing to sponsor Irish content creators. Or am I wrong?
I'm worried because since thin came back in the pressure on me from family to lose weight got even worse to the point my grandma told me to try ozempic 😭
This was exactly what I needed today. I can’t put it into words. Thank you for sharing this.
This is off-topic and I hope not over-reaching, but Melanie, I've followed you for almost seven years now and you LOOK GLOWING FROM THE INSIDE OUT. You truly look the most beautiful I have ever seen on your channel - and I feel it comes from internal factors rather than the external bits. Just amazed at your journey and so appreciate you being honest and genuine as always. Sending love from the US!
Not the betterhelp ads😭
I thought you were better than a BetterHelp sponsorship, they're a horrible company. You should be ASHAMED.
I’d like to know why you think so. I’ve been a paying customer for 4 years and have been extremely happy with the service!
are there actually people in the world anymore who do have a truly healthy and positive outlook on their body?....are we all just not effected?
Thanks Melanie! What an important conversation, there are so many markers of health besides weight.
I was born 1996 and I am so so happy that I NEVER had these weight perception issues. I also did not understand why people would call Zellweger or Britney Spears fat. People were crazy. BUT. I always had that size 0 body from birth. And let me tell you I was trashed for it even in elementary school. Later as well. But I am German, maybe the culture was different than UK or US. But now with the fat acceptance stuff, women got rude and aggressive towards me. One implied I was less of a person because I wished for a well fitting and waist fitted shirt in XS or at least S. I for one have never trashed people bigger than me for being bigger than me. I am really annoyed that the "chubby girls" can not handle sht either. What's up with people of any size?
I was also young during the 2000s, when thin was in. I was trying to look slimmer because I thought I weighed too much (even though I was already lean). Now, being much older, I am at the point of accepting my body as it is, with all of its "imperfections" (I think that they are also beautiful because they make me, me). One thing that did stick for me was the low-cut jeans. I love those and wear them as I never liked denim pushing on my tummy. Great video.
Not a criticism at all.
But it’s so telling that even though Melanie has done so much reflection and education on this topic of body image, her closing comment is still to critique and apply a judgment to her lips.
It is SO HARD to love yourself in spite of everything we see and hear.
hard to hear at the end.. and also.. and i may be projecting but.. i feel like melanie logically talks through all of these points but is still herself affected by thin culture.. just that after she lost weight recently she seemed so much more confident and posted so much more content where she showed herself getting dressed.. wore nicer clothes.. talked about ultra processed foods a lot but really.. it felt like she was kind of relieved and over the moon at being in a smaller body? i'm an eating disorder survivor too and i don't want to write a hurtful comment at all, just.. i feel we are all STILL damaged by thin culture more deeply than we care to admit?
"that voice started speaking to me when I was in a pair of low-rise jeans" - DAMN, this hit 🎯 excellent commentary and analysis. I was an early 90s baby as well and so relate to al of this. I still can't shake 'nothing tastes as good as skinny feels' occasionally popping into my mind
The fact is: online culture is a youth culture. And it doesn't matter how much we scream at young people to not make our mistakes - what they deem cool is more important to them than what some old farts like us millennials tell them is better for their psyche.
If young people want to starve themselves, there is no stopping them. I've come to the realisation at the ripe age of 30 that I can reject weird trends and scoff at people's bad taste but that ultimately, I can only protect myself from toxic trends, not others.
I agree, I'm 23 and I cannot help but understand that teenagers crave obsessing and harming themselves, as insane as all that is.
I know nobody online could have stopped me when I was a teenager.
I still absolutely don't feel like an adult, but ageing a few years can massively change your perspective, and sadly, people often need to go through difficulties themselves to come out the other end with new insights and a changed mindset
This video is so important. I was recently in a public library and was horrified to hear young girls working out how many calories they had burnt whilst studying. I’ve also had orthorexia before and a while ago me and my friend admitted to each other that the thing we’re most afraid of in life is getting ‘fat’. It’s all so wrong!
Like you say, we need to accept that healthy looks different for everyone, I want us to love our bodies and nourish them for their individual quirks and how they support us throughout our whole life.
I have been "overweight" for most of my life. And yeah, it's definetly messed with my confidence over the years - saying no to too many things, and hating how I look in photographs for over 15 years (though liking how I look in the mirror). That being said, my celebrity "idols" have never been what Hollywood would seem slender ( I still believe they're some of the most beautiful people in the world). Two years ago, I visited Italy for the first time, and saw all those famous painting you read about by the Renaissance greats. And upon inspection, my first thought beyond admiration was, "Huh, so I have a Renaissance ass" (the thought still makes me giggle). My physique has been popular in the past, and who knows might be again someday. But bodies are not meant to be FASHIONABLE, but physically support you to live. So now I never envy how people look, but what they can do what their bodies. People who are talented cooks, skilled in arts or trades, and people who have the strength and energy to move their body whenever they like (sometimes that's down to just getting enough rest). So I focus on how I can make the body I have feel good and strong, rather than try to change myself to look like someone else's ideal of beauty. I wouldnt be that hard on someone else, so why would I be unkind to myself?
Great message! I too remember the crazy levels of skinniness we had to be to feel like we belonged in our skinny jeans. I also hope that my daughter has a nicer time as a teen without crazy standards we had, but I fear it’ll only get worse.
I’m 33 and it’s so refreshing to be in a place in my life where I just don’t care. I’m like damn how am I turning 34 this year? How do I have 2 children? What is this? It makes me realize how short life is. And just how absurd it would be to waste a second of it on how I look. As if anyone gives a damn. My husband is obsessed when I have a little extra going on too so it’s truly pointless to care ever again. Eat healthy. Try to move your body. And live your liiiiife! ✌🏻
Don't "try" to move tour body...1000% move your body daily but not to fit into a cultural standard but for longevity
I really don’t want to detract from millennials as I understand completely that’s your experience and perspective but growing up as a gen z (I was born in 2000), it never really went away. We grew up with social media and by the time I was 13 I was on tumblr seeing “thinspo” and “aesthetic” images of very small meals. I’m glad of the mid 2010s millennial “body positivity” movement but I think for gen z and other people my age, we kind of didn’t care because all our peers were interested in the “working out and eating like a Victoria’s Secret model for a week” than seeing someone 10 years older than us talk about instagram vs reality. I’m glad also for more restrictions on social media, but just to speak for myself and my friends at the time to say gen z did not have it any easier than millennials growing up in a culture that valued thin bodies.
1000 crunches a day is crazy
I’m very early gen z but I still remember being like a 9 year old in like 2006 who started getting too big and too tall for the little boys jeans I’d always worn and just stopping wearing jeans entirely until the 2010s because there was nothing that fit me, nothing that didn’t have sparkles or jewels on the butt (yes even in little girl sizes), nothing that covered my stomach, nothing I could play in without my butt showing, it sucked. It especially sucked because I was so little that I had no way of understanding why this was happening. To top it off I grew up to realize I was trans in my mid twenties and not being able to wear gender neutral or boys clothes anymore because of puberty was so damaging.
Holy cow that special K commercial was NUTS
I have a very exaggerated hourglass shape, owing to being only 4’11” smol and having a really large round bum and natural 34H bosom. I am often described as “womanly” and a female boss called me “very voluptuous” at work. I’ve had this body type since my teens so I’m strong enough to brush off any comments. I feel terrible, though, when I hear things like “real women have curves” because it suggests that women with bodies unlike mine are not womanly. I was ridiculed in my youth for my curves, but I don’t feel vindicated when thin women are insulted OR when dangerously heavy people are championed.
Thank you for this. I haven't seen another video that really picks apart how it all FELT at the time in so much detail. I also have a strong memory of reading a headline that called Britney fat and that being a driving force behind me forming an ED that is so much better, but still lingering around in some form today. I'm terrified for the younger generations. They're even more image obsessed than we were. Like shooting fish in a barrel. The fact that someone as astoundingly beautiful as you was made to feel disgusting by society just further highlights the ridiculousness of the whole era
You are glowiiiinggg Mel💚
We just cant find a balance. First its heroin chic then its the obesity epidemic and now were back to heroin chic. We need to find a healthy balance
I absolutely agree with everything that you are saying, especially in regard to people being basically told off for wanting to lose weight, there is almost no obese person who is healthy - coming from an obese person. I am so aware that I am extremely unhealthy and it really worries me the level some of these content creators who are championing body positivity are going. I need to stop eating takeaways, have less snacks and more healthy food and exercise more and ultimately I NEED to lose weight! But some of these people who are championing body positivity say things like “you can be healthy at any size” “you don’t need to change just because society says you need to change” and I fundamentally disagree with some of the things these people say.
There are lots of people with obesity who don't eat takeout all the time though. Weight is not just about CICO. Ultimately it's about the interactions between genes, hormones, and environment. Which is why many people can live off takeouts and stay slim while others can eat well but be larger.
It is about acceptance, because some of us have hormone, thyroid, blood sugar issues, etc … that we deal with daily and now at 165, I’m starting to accept I may never be 120/130 again, but I’m physically labeled as obese. So yes, acceptance has to come with that, or my life would be miserable.
Wow I just had a flash back remembering thinking that Brittany is fat in that dance and looking back. .. she is a size 4 AT MOST which is a small 🥲🥲🥲
Glad I’m not the only one who’s noticed this start to trickle back in. Great video, thank you!
The societal desire for thinness is even more sinister when you realise that fatphobia is entrenched in racism and the predatory nature of putting traditionally prebubscent figures on a pedstal if you can even call it that, and not paedophillia!
Excellent video! Even on the smallest body, low rise jeans look terrible. They are coming back now so everyone will go out and buy them (to profit the clothing industry), which of course feeds into all you are saying. Let's not forget about toxic men who are critical of women's bodies while thinking they are all Adonis (hahaha-they need to take a hard look in the mirror). It's important to be healthy and happy with yourself and to be who you really are other than a physical presentation. Thank you again for this video and I am sure, even though your daughter is so young, that this concerns you greatly!
I love low rise jeans, personally. I’ll wear them if they’re in or out because it doesn’t bother me. I hate high rise though.