I have trauma from couples counseling and it won’t work if my spouse doesn’t work on himself alone too. but none of them teach anything!! It’s been hell we’ve been to four all garbage and made things worse we need a coach which is more effective(coaching is more effective) but they charge like 10k. Also we go and when he decides he doesn’t want to do what we agreed on he tells me “ I must have misunderstood it” 😖 pretty sure that’s gaslighting but it’s gone on with parenting tools I’ve tried to learn etc. also I agree no emotional connection and until I feel safe nothing can change no one hears the other.
What if we really cannot tell others, the steaks are higher if we do. We do not want to tell people we know. Can we get the same benefit wit strangers in a support group instead?
Couples counseling has done NOTHING for relieving or addressing our affectionless / sexless marriage. she simply wants to maintain the status quo and make everything about ME instead of the dead bedroom. Just will not move one way or the other
As a COUNSELLOR I find again and again, people wait too long before coming in, there is infidelity and separation & terrible arguments - frequently one person has already checked out The counselling hasn’t failed The marriage has failed
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Both parties need to be in agreement and Willing to put in work. But if not then the household will may fall apart
eventually that is true but sometimes one person has to go first!
I have trauma from couples counseling and it won’t work if my spouse doesn’t work on himself alone too. but none of them teach anything!! It’s been hell we’ve been to four all garbage and made things worse we need a coach which is more effective(coaching is more effective) but they charge like 10k. Also we go and when he decides he doesn’t want to do what we agreed on he tells me “ I must have misunderstood it” 😖 pretty sure that’s gaslighting but it’s gone on with parenting tools I’ve tried to learn etc. also I agree no emotional connection and until I feel safe nothing can change no one hears the other.
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What if we really cannot tell others, the steaks are higher if we do. We do not want to tell people we know. Can we get the same benefit wit strangers in a support group instead?
I recommend finding at least 1 safe person to confide in
Couples counseling has done NOTHING for relieving or addressing our affectionless / sexless marriage. she simply wants to maintain the status quo and make everything about ME instead of the dead bedroom. Just will not move one way or the other
As a COUNSELLOR I find again and again, people wait too long before coming in, there is infidelity and separation & terrible arguments - frequently one person has already checked out
The counselling hasn’t failed
The marriage has failed
Thats what I feel has happened, she just checked out without even getting help.