I didnt...but now i cant not. The whole time shes reading this im picturing a 21 year old girl with a cartoon character that belongs in the uncanny valley. Thank you
No context because I stopped the video one minute in (to get over the love interest's last name of all things), but judging from this I can tell that this book is going to be a doozy.
The problem I would have if one of my friends was doing the same thing is that I still wouldn't get any books, because getting gifted random bad books sounds hilarious to me and thus I wouldn't count as not wanting them xD
I want you to know that years later, you have influenced the purchasing of this and the Jeff the killer books so much that they are suggested in the “frequently bought together” part of their Amazon pages
Who can forget Justin Brogan's final speech, as what's-her-name fled across a New York street with a pocket full of mysterious cancelled cheques? “You, who call Frankenstein your friend, seem to have a knowledge of my crimes and his misfortunes. But in the detail which he gave you of them he could not sum up the hours and months of misery which I endured wasting in impotent passions. For while I destroyed his hopes, I did not satisfy my own desires. They were for ever ardent and craving; still I desired love and fellowship, and I was still spurned. Was there no injustice in this? Am I to be thought the only criminal, when all humankind sinned against me?” ...God damn, where's the _Frankenstein_ fanfic? _Dracula_ gets all the action!
I used to just browse the $0.00 priced books on kindle and once came across a book titled something like 'Brexit Made Me Gay'. I should have read it when I had the chance because I could never find it again...
@@chiefrief2940 Sweet Jesus, this comment almost killed me. That has to be the hardest I'd ever laughed at a comment, ever. Bravo. You should think about writing a comedy story, will probably be better than whatever this story was.
Wait... he's a ginger with blond highlights who styles his hair in a faux-hawk? Was she trying to imagine the worst hair you could give a male character?
Had a potential partner refer to her lady bits as her "cookie" and I noped the fuck out of that situation like a deadbeat dad on Christmas morning. Sorry, I think I left my... something on, gotta go.
@@Grock620 Au contraire! A safe word's purpose is to STOP the current sexual activity being engaged in. Can you think of anything that would halt a sexual encounter in its tracks faster than one of the participants hollering out "GRANDMA!" Seems to me like it would be super effective.
"an absolute whale at 125 pounds" either this girl is extraordinarily short or this author has zero concept of what is considered overweight. something tells me it's the latter.
My husband looked in because I was laughing and I said, "this is a review of a bad book. The book was bad, the review was great." So, yes, I totally agree.
Girl: “I turn men’s heads on the street all the time” Also girl: says she received the first ever compliment on her physical appearance at over 20 years old
@@rattyeely yeah but generally socially awkward people don’t vain-brag about how they are so attractive or turn mens heads on the street all the time. Normally socially awkward people thinking when peoples heads turn when they’re walking down the street, it’s a negative connotation (like they’re ugly or weird or “everyone’s always looking at me they can tell I’m not normal”, not assuming it’s bc they’re so wildly attractive and irresistible. Socially awkward people aren’t exactly full off themselves or think they’re really good looking and attractive. It’s like the unrealistic meme trope of the hot girl who is popular and shallow but says stuff like “omg I’m soooo ugly no one’s ever told me I’m pretty before” “omg guys are alwayyyyysss looking at me when I walk in a room it’s sooooo annoying I’m just so introverted uwu” and “i totally don’t have any friends no one ever talks to me” while all simultaneously saying “omg guys are always hitting on me it’s like I can’t even go unnoticed walking down the street it’s so hard being hot”.
@@timothymclean lol I'm only 5'2 when my weight dips below 120 I look absolutely skeletal. It's not just height, it's your bone structure, if you have wide hips and shoulders, a longer torso, etc.
Every time someone hurts my feelings or threatens me online, I uninstall windows, take every component out of the tower, vacuum seal them separately, and store them all in my garage until shit cools down. Usually a couple of days.
I hate when people describe muscles as bulging. Like, it nakes me think of some body builder that has overdone the steroids and is wearing a speedo that is obviously three sizes too small. Like, gross. Bulging is not a sexy word.
I found this author's blog and she's definitely a woman. She says she was 38 in 2013 which is around the time Troll was published. She wrote four Troll "novels," then told her readers that she wasn't going to continue the series. She stopped writing around 2016. It seemed like she was having some health problems and she mentioned homeschooling her daughter. She also seemed disillusioned with self-publishing. She thought she was going to be the next E.L. James, then realized that wasn't likely to happen. I suspect Troll was inspired by 50 Shades of Grey since she mentioned James several times.
"It's kind of hard to know what her problem is." I think it's pretty obvious. At 2:14 you say she 'turns men's heads in public'. That's not a metaphorical statement, she actually goes down the street and just wrenches guy's heads. She's forced to stay in her apartment watching lovers walk the street because she's under house arrest for multiple assaults.
"I'm a receptionist at a pediatric clinic" I, a receptionist at a pediatric clinic, listening to this video while prepping for work, am truly horrified.
I'm pretty sure that the only reason Kyla Atkins has a job is that her daddy, the corrupt judge, has some dirt on the pediatrician. That's why she never gets fired for not showing up or goofing off on the job. Kyla's just not sharp enough to figure out that her salary is essentially a form of blackmail payment.
@@svgarsnap Good, because I plan to write a 20-part series. It'll just be the transcript for this video and the the text from the actual book scrambled together into 20 different combinations.
Doug Sullivan you know, it's 2017 and two movies have already been made about a badly written Twilight fanfic that got turned into a romance about bondage.
ElRook I do know but I'm not sure how old you are but a plot like what you described would have definitely existed on cinemax late Saturday night, in fact I'm positive that you could probably find 3
i want you to know that i have watched this video multiple times but it took me forever to realize that the front cover was a steamy romance cover and not an illustration of a garden troll. the mind sees what it wants to see.
@@GrimzyShake But if he’s a troll on the Innernet why would he have a micro_____dingus? Usually pretty masculine dudes do trolling. Guys who are comfortable their dinguses. They may have even been taught how to pull on them to make them bigger.
I was REALLY rooting for the next lines after, "You were using me?" to be *"Sure was, baby," said Justin, right before he stole my father (Judge Atkin)'s papers and fled out the window, his naked bulging muscles glistening in the starlit night.* *And that was the last time I ever saw him.* And all along, the book was never a romance at all, it was itself a troll.
sharksandsheep I mean, the Old Testament has that one law about how a woman that has been raped should marry the aggressor. The New Testament is a wee bit better in that regard.
There are actually pretty good, creative stories in Wattpad that I actually would like it to be published. But instead, all that bad boy, abusive relationship, cliche shit gets to become a book.
It seriously does. There are a lot of amazing stories on wattpad, but there are also hundreds of books almost exactly like this one. I've been unfortunate enough to read the first pages of a few
This comment has made me realise that there is probably Guy Fieri erotica somewhere on the internet and now I think I need to go and live on an island with nothing but porgs and weird hut-people for about 20 years while I emotionally process this.
So recently I stumbled upon some old drama from the community of the game Sims 3, a really toxic flamewar I didn't even have the context for, and one of the people from the old official forum who was getting exposed was none other than the author of this book. I'm not kidding, the dirt dug up on her was that she wrote bad erotica and I was almost bowled over by seeing Troll in the screenshot of what she had published. I don't know who else needs to know that THE author of THE worst book ever written was once an active member of the Sims community who was involved in a lot of drama and trolling herself, likely fueling her... fetish? for it in the process, but it was the greatest revelation I have ever had and I need to share it.
It's a testament to this books awfulness when Jenny, who is typically very well-spoken and illustrative about her thoughts, is resigned to just saying "... Girl" after the bit at 12:00.
The author goes from having a super limited idea of how to use a website to fully detailing a cross site scripting attack. The disconnect is reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal.
Yeah, no, this was written by someone with very limited understanding of how The Internets work - but juuust sufficient enough to go on a forum, ask "How would you hack somone's dating profile in a fictional universe where men in devil masks go waving submachine guns around residential areas and that's cool?" Got the answer, employed an obscure Copy And Paste tactic that no one probably knows about, went back to 1973 to carry on.
I just checked and, assuming she's of average height, 125 lbs is smack dab in the middle of the ideal range for her BMI, which is genuinely concerning if the author considers that 'whale' weight.
It really depends on height too and age. But hard to believe that 125 would ever be whale weight I am personally around 200 range and 5 foot 9 and that is technically overweight but yeah. It honestly makes me mad when people who don’t actually weigh that much or weigh at an healthy weight day they are too fat. You beautiful bissshh every size. 🤣
Wow, I'm 5'6.5" and look too thin at 135 lbs, so I'd probably look emaciated at 125. I'm currently 150 lbs and size medium. Can only imagine what the author would think of someone my size or.... an actual plus size person if they believe 125 lbs is a "whale."
turbulentbeauty I would assume the character is probably around 5’2? But even then you would only be slightly, *slightly* overweight, you definitely would not be described as a “whale” lol
In theory, a story about a hacktivist seducing a corrupt judge’s daughter in order to expose his crimes as they fall in love sounds like a sexy, thrilling crime novel. In execution, we get THIS. 🤢
It probably could have been better if it was longer than seven chapters and showed rather than told all of this. Instead it all gets revealed in pillow talk!
@@anothermillennialschannel-9815 If this was written by someone like James Patterson, that shit would've blown up the New York Times Bestseller list and we all know it. It's disgraceful.
My new favorite phrase: "Midwestern mom with no shame." I want to commission an expensive portrait of myself with that phrase inscribed on a golden plaque beneath it.
I’m left with two giant questions I have to get out for my own sanity’s sake: If he’s a hacker, why was his job to seduce a woman, gain access to her apartment, and then search it for physical evidence? None of that seems to play to a hacker’s strenghts. Why not try to access the judge’s computer or phone to find evidence by, you know, hacking him? Or if you can ‘hack’ her front door, why not just do that while she’s at work, and then search her apartment then? The woman was very interested in getting a date, and had self esteem issues. Maybe try to seduce her by just asking her out nicely, and then gain her trust by being romantic? Acting crazy, admitting you hacked her, and breaking into her house sounds like the wrong strategy to reach your objective in every possible way. Ugh, I have to go now, my brain is revolting…
Whatever the case, the "everything that has happened so far was all just a spy job" is about the lamest - and thus hilarious - narrative plot twist imaginable.
Nah the author sends out the books to people for free in exchange for good reviews - one of the reviewers actually said this, then left a 5 star review...
i've watched this video several times now and i've only just realized that the cover is a couple making out. every time i honest to god thought it was a polar bear around ice and every time i was like why would they do that.
Same, but I was honest-to-God 100% sure the cover was a troll. As in a fantasy bridge troll. Now that you've revealed the truth to me, I can't unsee the couple making out, I can't even point out where exactly I saw a troll... but I swear that up until three minutes ago that cover depicted a bloody troll! I'm not mad, I'm perfectly sane!
This was my first ever Jenny Nicholson video. I'm so glad this managed to hit the algorithm in a way that caused it to show up on my recommended page. She truly is a gift.
Man, you really got thrown in the deep end. I don't know what would qualify as "entry level Jenny" (probably one of the Star Wars videos) but this really isn't it. Have you by chance seen the gaslit labyrinth that is her MLP parody?
...SHE IS ALSO A CHILDREN"S BOOK AUTHOR. Her list of books written include this abomination and other erotica with fairy tale retellings and rhyming the alphabet
@@snoozley853 stereotypes exist for a reason. For some reason or another, men enjoy dealing with computers in general more than women. Idk why. Obviously it's not a good idea to make broad generalizations, I'm a guy and I'm basically tech illiterate, but the trend is still pretty accurate.
This doesn’t necessarily conflict with what you said but if you’re interested, research in the gender divide in computing generally shows that men and women are equally interested in and competent with computers as children (until about 3rd grade). But after this age both girls and boys begin to believe boys are “better” at using computers and girls generally begin to decline in confidence and therefore interest. The same pattern is seen in math and some sciences. You can identify this trend as caused by stereotype threat (not just natural disinterest) because if reminded of their gender prior to taking a math exam, women do worse than if their gender isn’t mentioned. The same is not true for men. A reminder that you’re supposedly bad at something is enough to diminish your abilities. By adulthood, men use computers more than women and are more likely to enter tech related careers, even though among adults who actually are software engineers there is no difference in skill between genders. So you’re actually kind of right, women enjoy dealing with computers slightly less than men, but they don’t start out that way; they learn that at a young age. Right or not, you might want to consider the stereotypes you reinforce. They’re kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy, don’t you think?
Jenny Nicholson I don't know if anyone has made this comment yet: I have a degree in Digital Forensics, and that explanation of how he hacked her computer is 100% accurate. Mr. Robot isn't that accurate. A hacker wrote this book.
That’s what I was thinking. The rest is so badly written that it CANT have been a writer. It was a hacker trying to write romance. (I use the term ‘romance’ loosely)
I just assumed someone googled it or got help and copy pasted that part, since it’s so direct and technical and they otherwise don’t know how computers/the internet works.
When I first read the video title, I thought it was gonna be a knock off twilight book where instead of hot vampires or werewolves it was a hot troll that lived under a bridge who our heroine met when she was told to solve three riddles. Turns out one of the riddles...was the trolls heart.
I thought it was going to be like “he trolled me, but it’s not his fault he does bad things! Don’t you see, he’s literally a TROLL (who has excellent wifi under his bridge).”
I honestly thought it would be some two ways metaphor, like a homeless war veteran who lives under a bridge and is bitter about life and politics, tries to be nice to other people who are in bad conditions in real life (because one might want to make the romantic interest, you know, have some qualities) but he would use a library computer to vent his many pent up frustrations, becoming an internet troll (he could use the nick Troll as a self-reminder that he lives under a bridge, oh, the cheap drama!). The protagonist would engage in flame wars against him until they meet and, you know, the old tropes would ensue, her discovering his broken heart/heart of gold (and that he looks good, of course), him trying to be a better person to be with her but, ashamed of his life, he would be going in and off those silly self-pity romantic novel tantrums etc until a climax where his old unity whatever-dramatic-something leaving a potentially dramatic event for a following novel that would trace back its steps and undo the purposed dramatic ending. But, alas, it was shallower than even I could ever dream.
I know that's not what it means, but that sentence always makes me laugh because in German, "mensa" translates to (school) cafeteria and it just tickles me that he would brag to her that people let him in the cafeteria because he's so smart xD
it' hilarious how internet trolls always brag about being in Mensa yet suspiciously, apparently do nothing else with their colossal IQ they could brag about on the interwebz.
I feel like Revealing Eden: Save the Pearls is the worst book. It's about how a white girl has to use blackface to survive in a post-apocalyptic society
Oh god, why does that ring a bell? I think I saw a screenshot of the blurb somewhere, and it was overwhelmingly racist. Like some sort of "white genocide" fetish fantasy written by a Republican.
@@blokey8Thing is, good storytelling will allow for scenarios where this sort of solution can't happen, even if it's just simple. Everyone always asks why they didn't just fly to Mordor on the eagles in TLOTR, but they forget that there IS an explanation in the text. The eagles are scarcely seen, and even rarer do they interact with people. When they finally arrive after the armies of Mordor fall to bring our heroes home, it's seen as somewhat of a miracle and a sign that evil has left the land. Other stories will provide solutions such as the characters simply hadn't considered the possibility, and set up their scenarios in ways that make that reality plausible. In Avengers Endgame, we see that Tony Stark has been trying to figure out time travel, but had concluded it was impossible and so filed it away or had slowed his work on it. It's only when Scott Lang arrives as living proof that you can safely travel through the timestream that his belief in his work is renewed and he's able to finally crack the code. Here we see that he did do the logical thing. Tony Stark is a super-genius, if anyone can figure out time travel it's him. Of course he considered it. But he ruled it out BECAUSE he was logical and he didn't see it as a probable solution. This particular instance didn't give any reason as to why he wouldn't approach the problem like that, or couldn't. The fact that he's a part of an organized group makes it even weirder. There's ways it COULD work. Maybe they wanted some kind of blackmail so he started dating the judge's daughter to get racey images of her or something. It totally COULD work, the author just clearly didn't think about it very much haha.
This story reminds me of when I had to write an SAT writing prompt and described the characters in detail only to realize I only had 15 minutes left to have them actually do something
I absolutely had to look these up. Boy Next Door = kidnapping and BDSM Chosen = girl gets drugged, becomes the sexual prize for some contest Baby Daddy = woman hates husband, cheats on him with stepson (who I share a name with... oof) Dancer = girl's friend dies, she meets a dancer, ...revenge? Not sure how erotica works into this... Teaching Melody = girl has crush on friend's single father WHAT
im just gonna say, being a writer named emma clark and hearing your name in a video where jenny is talking about the worst book she's found made me double take
Being a writer and hearing "I've found the worst book" is enough to put you on edge. I don't think I've met a single writer who thinks their shit is good who's shit is actually... good. I don't even write novels, I write screenplay, and I still got uppity until I heard the name. RIP to you for actually being named Emma Clark lol.
I wish more than anything she would bring this back! It’s oddly nice to be read to and joked with. Trigger Warning has been my favorite so far but this cracked me up too!
I am a weird inverse Bella Swan in that I think I'm pretty dang cute and no one else seems to agree, so I can only conclude I'm biased. Or that men are intimidated by the intelligence, or don't like it that I snort when I laugh real hard.
She was 5'5", 124 lbs with long auburn hair and green eyes with little gold flecks. But no one wanted her because she was slightly socially awkward and tended to stutter when nervous. K.
I just can't get over the concerned look that the porg behind Jenny has. It looks both amazed, worried and flabbergasted, clearly worried for Jenny's mental health while reading this book. Same, little guy, same.
Wait does she like bad boys or badly written boys.
I think it's badly written 😂
It's unclear
Why do girls only like badly written boys, and not nicely written boys like me?
Usually the same thing
Yes
"His pouty lips belonged to a face etched with strong features" did anyone else think of Handsome Squidward???
I read your comment as soon as she said it lmao
I didnt...but now i cant not. The whole time shes reading this im picturing a 21 year old girl with a cartoon character that belongs in the uncanny valley. Thank you
Well *NOW* I am.
So you're saying Original Squidward isn't handsome!?
How did you know
It's a Trolligy
tigist sahlemariam HAHA
underated comme t
go to the shame corner
*Get Out*
Go home
"Why don't you want me?"
He asks wearing a devil mask with an airbrushed T in the middle, half-naked in her room which he broke into.
Five minutes after threatening her father
And the T stand for Troll
holding a gun
No context because I stopped the video one minute in (to get over the love interest's last name of all things), but judging from this I can tell that this book is going to be a doozy.
@@PinoccThePiccolo A doozy, it do be.
“I like to go to Amazon, buy strange self-published books, and give them to people who clearly don’t want them.”
Aaaand subscribed
The problem I would have if one of my friends was doing the same thing is that I still wouldn't get any books, because getting gifted random bad books sounds hilarious to me and thus I wouldn't count as not wanting them xD
I know what I'm gonna give people for christmas gifts next christmas.
Likewise
Same
She's revolutionizing my terrible ability to select gifts. Finally I see the light
the idea of an internet troll being "devilishly handsome" already breaks my suspension of disbelief
I am internet troll and wildly considered devilishly handsome where I live.
@@donaldhysa4836 where the heck do you live? Under a bridge?
@@Crinkfries In Eastern Europe people are generally better looking than americans here xD
@@donaldhysa4836 Yes, very nice.
@@theengine Thank you :D
That's it. From now on, every villainous monolog should be delivered while the villain is doing an awkward striptease.
“And now Superman” says Lex Luthor as he pulls off his shoulderpads.
@@macoy3943 no.
Perry the platypus *doofenshmirtz slides his lab coat down his shoulders* how nice of you to show up
LMFAO you guys are killing me. I actually cried reading these comments I laughed so hard
"Batman!" Joker starts unbuttoning his suit "You're finally here!"
I want you to know that years later, you have influenced the purchasing of this and the Jeff the killer books so much that they are suggested in the “frequently bought together” part of their Amazon pages
True social progress at its finest!
She can't keep getting away with this.
@@TheSanityX It’s an abomination.
Lol omg that is AMAZING 😆
Holy shit no way lmao
What can I say, I'm a quirky guy.
your insatiable hunger for control is very charming, justin
Nice b00bz
Damn it justin get out
With the low resolution photo and everything 🤦♀️😂
I’m gonna follow you... idk why. Maybe you’ll hack my computer and sneak into my apartment😂
My personal favourite self published series is Bearllionaire.
"He's a billionaire, and a bear, and he'd never let anything happen to his mate... "
PositivelyVillainous wait is this an actual book?
But that just sounds awesome
PositivelyVillainous
wow, I love puns, but that... that made me cringe.
dDKJCBDSDJKScjDCNDSC;S BEARLLIONAIRE IS A GENUINE MASTERPIECE
*slowly opens amazon*
So...she didnt know how to get rid of Justin, so she WENT TO SLEEP?
She pulled a Victor Frankenstein.
Nice reference!
This book does not deserve such an intelligent reference!
@@Odango_Atama09 Sounds like it ended about as well for her too. :I
nice comment m8
Who can forget Justin Brogan's final speech, as what's-her-name fled across a New York street with a pocket full of mysterious cancelled cheques?
“You, who call Frankenstein your friend, seem to have a knowledge of my crimes and his misfortunes. But in the detail which he gave you of them he could not sum up the hours and months of misery which I endured wasting in impotent passions. For while I destroyed his hopes, I did not satisfy my own desires. They were for ever ardent and craving; still I desired love and fellowship, and I was still spurned. Was there no injustice in this? Am I to be thought the only criminal, when all humankind sinned against me?”
...God damn, where's the _Frankenstein_ fanfic? _Dracula_ gets all the action!
I used to just browse the $0.00 priced books on kindle and once came across a book titled something like 'Brexit Made Me Gay'. I should have read it when I had the chance because I could never find it again...
Was it “Pounded By The Pound: Turned Gay By The Socioeconomic Implications Of Britain Leaving The European Union”?
@@graealn9982 lol omg you found it! I love the Internet!
@@graealn9982 Gotta love Chuck Tingle.
soo.. how was the book? 🥲🥲
@@SUPERIDOLdesho lol, it wasn't free anymore when I looked it up again! I held off...
A fanfiction I wrote when I was seven involving Mewtwo and Mew and their children is better and more consistent then whatever this is.
And creative most likely
That's incest.
@@bossman6798 sweet home alabama question mark
bUT MEW IS MEWTWOS MOTHER
@@nope-ve9ks even better :)
"Styled in a faux hawk, blond highlights streaked his auburn hair"
Somehow I'm thinking of Guy Fieri right now
Who wouldn't want Guy Fieri breaking into their house to seduce them? I had just assumed everyone had that fantasy at some point...
@@BritishTeaFGC And describing himself stripping the same way he describes the addition of ingredients to a dish
@@BritishTeaFGC I'd love for Guy Fieri to take me to Flavortown
@@chiefrief2940 Sweet Jesus, this comment almost killed me. That has to be the hardest I'd ever laughed at a comment, ever. Bravo.
You should think about writing a comedy story, will probably be better than whatever this story was.
This reply broke into my house and shot me right between the eyes
Wait... he's a ginger with blond highlights who styles his hair in a faux-hawk?
Was she trying to imagine the worst hair you could give a male character?
TheSongwritingCat I think the worst male hair is a lilac tonsure.
Only makes since in anime.
@@EmilysAdventuresInHorrorland That's very funny.
At least it’s not a mullet?
I think she imagined 3 potentially hot hairstyles/hair types separately but then put them together to make something far worse.
"Tummy" is so fundamentally anti-sexual that I am making it my new safe word.
Only surpassed by tum-tum
Had a potential partner refer to her lady bits as her "cookie" and I noped the fuck out of that situation like a deadbeat dad on Christmas morning. Sorry, I think I left my... something on, gotta go.
@@ScruffMcGruff86 oh god, I'd feel like a pedo if I got with someone like that...
It's a better safe word than "grandma" that's for sure
@@Grock620 Au contraire! A safe word's purpose is to STOP the current sexual activity being engaged in. Can you think of anything that would halt a sexual encounter in its tracks faster than one of the participants hollering out "GRANDMA!" Seems to me like it would be super effective.
"Justin, a name that stole my breath and accelerated my pulse." That's called FEAR, bud!
I don't know why this comment amused me, but it did. Probably because it's true for this character
hahahaha
Suddenly realizing how many emotions involve accelerated heart rate.
Why would a name scare her though?
Justin is such a scary name.
are we just gonna ignore how dumb the name "justin brogan" is
Hulk Hogan's little brother
Kyla Adkins is equally bad
How dare you! I have a friend called Justin Brogan. [sorry just a meme :D]
Justin Brogan, from Broregon City, Broregon, USA. His interests include hacking, trolling, and brorigami.
@Maurits Who the fuck is attracted to even the slightest hint of the word "bro"
How to gain a girl's trust:
_talk to her on a dating site, hack her computer, break into her house_
And they say that romance is dead.
A tale as old as time
Does it work on guys too?
Not a d.e.n.n.i.s. system, but you get the same results
@rakat sceptic But you're at her apartment, right? So all's good.
He should have quoted rickroll lyrics at her at the end, and it turns out the entire book was a convoluted rickroll.
"As he walked out the door, she began to sob. He turned, flipped down his sunglasses and said, 'Deal with it.'"
That would have actually been good
I'll Find you Kendra!
We're no Strangers to Love! You know the Rules and So do I!
@@ScruffMcGruff86
Ain't that just 'gone with the wind'?
@@llewelynshingler2173 A full commitment's what I'm thinking of. You wouldn't get this from any other guy.
working title: The Hot Hunk Who Hacked My Heart
keep the alliteration: a Hot Hunk Hacked my Heart
abreviated: HHHH
*Hacker voice* "I'm in (love)."
Bro I guarantee that if this was a Chuck Tingle work it would be a masterpiece
707 lol?
"an absolute whale at 125 pounds" either this girl is extraordinarily short or this author has zero concept of what is considered overweight. something tells me it's the latter.
She might have been reading Bridget Jones Diary
Maybe author confused pounds and kilos
Wait, am I the only one who assumed that "our heroine" was a member of the Lollipop Guild?
Nah she's totally 1 foot tall
Maybe she ment kilograms and got confused...
Actual Book: 0/10
Review of Book: 11/10
I'd upvote, but you have 1111 upvotes.
My husband looked in because I was laughing and I said, "this is a review of a bad book. The book was bad, the review was great." So, yes, I totally agree.
"He broke into her house and was not invited in" So at least he's not a vampire, I guess...
Depends on which kind there are :P
Sparkles?
"He said the door let him in" from the way he was going about things i thought you were gonna say he somehow hacked the door
maybe its the new door technology that lets people in with deliveries- that could probably be hackable
I don't know why but this made me laugh.
well if one can "Hack the Planet", its logical to think someone can "Hack the Door".
yep, he had an axe.
Well, since electronic door locks are a thing, that might be the most realistic thing about that book.
"What's my father involved in?!"
"Isn't it obvious? Corruption! Bribery!"
Are we sure Neil Breen didn't write this?
This is an underrated comment
Mind. Blown.
Naaaational and international corruption *I know* is going on
I resign today as president of The Bank.
@@chymos6628 (shoots self)
I thought this was going to be a erotic book about a woman who falls in love with an actual, literal troll.
Man am I disappointed
Annabelle Evans LOL. Would a woman and an actual troll count as beastiality, or is a troll humanoid enough that it wouldn't?
@@ladymaiden2308 Depends are we looking at something from dnd or elder scrolls? or are we talking about something from wow?
Shrek?
l3luSpy um, you tell me, please. I'm more of a mermaid girl. I know nothing yet of trolls.
l3luSpy and if you don't mind, please attach as much of an explanation as you care to leave. I am curious, but not pushy.
Girl: “I turn men’s heads on the street all the time”
Also girl: says she received the first ever compliment on her physical appearance at over 20 years old
Literally not inaccurate if you're social akward and never talk to people
@@rattyeely yeah but generally socially awkward people don’t vain-brag about how they are so attractive or turn mens heads on the street all the time. Normally socially awkward people thinking when peoples heads turn when they’re walking down the street, it’s a negative connotation (like they’re ugly or weird or “everyone’s always looking at me they can tell I’m not normal”, not assuming it’s bc they’re so wildly attractive and irresistible. Socially awkward people aren’t exactly full off themselves or think they’re really good looking and attractive.
It’s like the unrealistic meme trope of the hot girl who is popular and shallow but says stuff like “omg I’m soooo ugly no one’s ever told me I’m pretty before” “omg guys are alwayyyyysss looking at me when I walk in a room it’s sooooo annoying I’m just so introverted uwu” and “i totally don’t have any friends no one ever talks to me” while all simultaneously saying “omg guys are always hitting on me it’s like I can’t even go unnoticed walking down the street it’s so hard being hot”.
She only "turns heads" because she's an absolute whale at 125 pounds. 😂
@@didiercollard To be fair, chubbiness is a factor of both weight and height. The book doesn't _say_ she's taller than 4'8".
@@timothymclean lol I'm only 5'2 when my weight dips below 120 I look absolutely skeletal.
It's not just height, it's your bone structure, if you have wide hips and shoulders, a longer torso, etc.
"I never meant to take it this far"
"Bro, you started this far" 😂
Every time someone hurts my feelings or threatens me online, I uninstall windows, take every component out of the tower, vacuum seal them separately, and store them all in my garage until shit cools down. Usually a couple of days.
Stripping down while talking about how you hacked into a computer is the best kind of foreplay
Thegrandberry you say that jokingly, but as a programmer that would totally work on me
Gaby G.
Oh my god, your intricate knowledge of computers and your acceptence into Mensa is turning👏🏼 me👏🏼 on👏🏼
@rakat sceptic I prefer proficiency in Python, if you catch my meaning.
@-DepthCharge get you a girl who will greet you every morning with “print(“Hello world!”)”
@rakat sceptic crude joke warning: I prefer women proficient in D.
"a total whale at 125 pounds"
woah I'm a whole two whales big, that's kinda cool
I rule the sea
To quote Jedi Master Liam Neeson: "There's always a bigger fish."
You have to fuse with another two-whaled person and become the ultimate final boss
Uh if you're actually 250lbs you need to stop being 250lbs
@@i-never-look-at-replies-lol you should stop commenting on people’s weight
@@i-never-look-at-replies-lol you should find a life
Is the author of this book just Onision under an alias?
Oh, you absolutely nailed it!
Nah, the main character is the girl, so it's not him.
Can't have an onion boy book without a male self-insert.
Onision wishes he could write this well.
YES
Nah,
Not enough pedophilia for that
"i dont want to offend anyone named justin, but it's just justin!"
me: *sobbing in the distance*
This Just-In ;D
Justins across the country begin a class action lawsuit to pursue a just-indictment of Jenny's attack on Justins
awh😭😂😂😂😂😂
I mean, I guess you could be named Karen
....like me. XD
@Boom Goes The Dynamite Aye
@@dracofirex Oh no, Karen.
It just calls for the manager, the name itself
I hate when people describe muscles as bulging. Like, it nakes me think of some body builder that has overdone the steroids and is wearing a speedo that is obviously three sizes too small. Like, gross. Bulging is not a sexy word.
Kia Maria muscles just make me feel ill either way. I'm wierd, I know.
bulge owo
His bulging bulge bulgingly bulged from his bulges.
Makes me want to self publish a creepypasta fanfic called *MOIST BULGING*
"Justin's sexy blue eyes bulged out"...I may see what you're saying
I found this author's blog and she's definitely a woman. She says she was 38 in 2013 which is around the time Troll was published. She wrote four Troll "novels," then told her readers that she wasn't going to continue the series. She stopped writing around 2016. It seemed like she was having some health problems and she mentioned homeschooling her daughter. She also seemed disillusioned with self-publishing. She thought she was going to be the next E.L. James, then realized that wasn't likely to happen. I suspect Troll was inspired by 50 Shades of Grey since she mentioned James several times.
This is how every guy who sends horrifyingly obscene sexual messages ACTUALLY thinks its going to play out, isn’t it? Yikes.
The fact that you're probably right makes me feel absolutely terrified
@@taliajung1553 they're not 'probably right'
They're absolutely right
Textbook for nice guys, neckbeards and incels... Bleh
sometimes it works
@@MrLTiger Kick in the balls or YA as a learning material for dating?
"It's kind of hard to know what her problem is."
I think it's pretty obvious. At 2:14 you say she 'turns men's heads in public'. That's not a metaphorical statement, she actually goes down the street and just wrenches guy's heads. She's forced to stay in her apartment watching lovers walk the street because she's under house arrest for multiple assaults.
i love you
I actually did a spit take when I read this...well played...LOL
Chaos Shadow I was brushing my teeth when I read your comment. Nearly choked on my toothbrush. D:
Worth it. Thank you.
That actually made me laugh 😂😂😂
I would read that book.
"I never meant it to go this far"
"BRO you started this far"
is an underated line and got me rolling on the floor
my favourite line, brilliant
"I'm a receptionist at a pediatric clinic"
I, a receptionist at a pediatric clinic, listening to this video while prepping for work, am truly horrified.
I'm pretty sure that the only reason Kyla Atkins has a job is that her daddy, the corrupt judge, has some dirt on the pediatrician. That's why she never gets fired for not showing up or goofing off on the job. Kyla's just not sharp enough to figure out that her salary is essentially a form of blackmail payment.
T - angels
R - of
O - light
L - and
L - darkness
*dankness
Oohhh
I suddenly see AOL ads in a new light.
Damn the most dangerous creatures in the universe, Tangels.
Tangles Rof O’light Land L’darkness?
Why can’t these “authors” just get a Tumblr account like a normal weirdo?
excuse you
redmanish “normal weirdo” 😂
花菊 I sense a Tumblr weirdo
@@wokeslush9489 excuse you
Are there different levels of weird?!
*Hacker voice* "I'm in (love)."
i'd read something with this as a title
@@svgarsnap Good, because I plan to write a 20-part series. It'll just be the transcript for this video and the the text from the actual book scrambled together into 20 different combinations.
Sounds like a cheesy Nickelodeon original movie
Yusuf Kadar yesss
*Hacker's voice* "I'm in (her)."
honestly all tinder harassment should involve a striptease where they explain exactly how they hacked into your phone
"I don't want to offend anyone named Justin, but... it's just Justin."
I choked laughing 😂
I was so glad my name isn't Justin.
*sighs
My dad's name is Justin lok
I read this as she said it lol
"You harassed me and broke into my house but you're cute so imma let it slide"
Honestly same
we’ve all been there
Is it bad that I can relate to that
Nobody’s perfect
I mean, I would accept that if it had been a porg.
That story is really dated for being published in 2014, however in 1984 that story would have had a theatrical release
Awesomely awful just like a lot of things that were somehow made
Doug Sullivan you know, it's 2017 and two movies have already been made about a badly written Twilight fanfic that got turned into a romance about bondage.
ElRook I do know but I'm not sure how old you are but a plot like what you described would have definitely existed on cinemax late Saturday night, in fact I'm positive that you could probably find 3
Doug Sullivan Other way around I think. You have a very skewed idea of 80s movies. Twilight and 50 Shades are 💯 millennial made
toriloveSubarukun oh I know 80s movies I was alive during the latter half of of it and I never referenced twilight that was someone else
i want you to know that i have watched this video multiple times but it took me forever to realize that the front cover was a steamy romance cover and not an illustration of a garden troll. the mind sees what it wants to see.
I thought it was a polar bear first 😅 paused it and then saw what it was supposed to be 😂
I love how the story suddenly gets a complex plot about political scandal and internet vigilantes in the last few pages of the book
Bemi Atto Open with that plot and maybe the book just might have turned out halfway decent
seems legit
It became a neil breen film
I was scrolling through the comments midway through the video and I have to say, I was not expecting this.
I could have gotten into it if the build up hadn't been...like that.
I was getting really anxious about the romance I'm writing.
I needed this. I don't feel so bad anymore.
LOL Icon I'm 100% sure it might be at least better than that book
HA! Same.
Judging by your username I'm unsure if your "romance" would be well received outside of Japan lmao
Me too...
Sjjsdjdjhddh me too, this boosted my writing confidence
6:08 “He revealed halfway through his strip tease that he has a micro-“
That’s not how I thought that sentence was gonna end
Lol, i was thinking the same thing
This book would’ve pronabky been better had it ended in the way we all anticipated
@@GrimzyShake But if he’s a troll on the Innernet why would he have a micro_____dingus? Usually pretty masculine dudes do trolling. Guys who are comfortable their dinguses. They may have even been taught how to pull on them to make them bigger.
10:55 I just realized Justin Brogan sounds like “Justin broke in” which would also be accurate
I was REALLY rooting for the next lines after, "You were using me?" to be
*"Sure was, baby," said Justin, right before he stole my father (Judge Atkin)'s papers and fled out the window, his naked bulging muscles glistening in the starlit night.*
*And that was the last time I ever saw him.*
And all along, the book was never a romance at all, it was itself a troll.
cheese pants this comment makes the book like really good and I’m confused now
I'm having flashbacks to that Trump fanfiction.
Judge Atkins sends you to prison if you eat carbs.
Oh my gosh! This would have made it PERFECT!
@@Dragon-Believer And he _won't_ sugarcoat it!
She's into bad boys and rapey scenarios but signed up for "true Christian love?" Now I'm just wondering what her bio looks like
To be fair, the Bible is pretty pro-rape.
"I'm not like other girls," duh.
sharksandsheep I mean, the Old Testament has that one law about how a woman that has been raped should marry the aggressor. The New Testament is a wee bit better in that regard.
@@user-pm1gb2eo1s The New Testament also specifies that every law set in the OT still stands. So, not really better.
sharksandsheep Yeah, just meant they didn’t add anything new.
This feels like a Wattpad story
There are actually pretty good, creative stories in Wattpad that I actually would like it to be published. But instead, all that bad boy, abusive relationship, cliche shit gets to become a book.
*Ahem* Add me on WP. *Ahem* username is _LuvHurtz_
Nah, more like Quotev. For some reason this kind of stuff is just all over the place there.
comics geek It's alright; you can say The Kissing Booth.
It seriously does. There are a lot of amazing stories on wattpad, but there are also hundreds of books almost exactly like this one. I've been unfortunate enough to read the first pages of a few
Me who thought she was gonna fall in love with an actual troll: "My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined."
“I don’t want to offend anyone named Justin but it’s just Justin...”
My name’s Justin and I found that hilarious 😂 😂😂
I was wondering if there would be any other's here...
Sure, you're Justin...
But are you Justin Brogan?
@@robincox2423 No, I'm Justin Sane.
@@justindenney-hall5875 So is Justin Brogan
Justin gang
for some reason i could only imagine this guy looking like guy fieri in my head
TAKE HER TO FLAVOUR TOWN!
No wait don't that's abduction Justin
don't disgrace guy fieri like that
This comment has made me realise that there is probably Guy Fieri erotica somewhere on the internet and now I think I need to go and live on an island with nothing but porgs and weird hut-people for about 20 years while I emotionally process this.
David Sayers there is absolutely guy fieri erotica
filip isandre I appreciate this comment
So recently I stumbled upon some old drama from the community of the game Sims 3, a really toxic flamewar I didn't even have the context for, and one of the people from the old official forum who was getting exposed was none other than the author of this book. I'm not kidding, the dirt dug up on her was that she wrote bad erotica and I was almost bowled over by seeing Troll in the screenshot of what she had published. I don't know who else needs to know that THE author of THE worst book ever written was once an active member of the Sims community who was involved in a lot of drama and trolling herself, likely fueling her... fetish? for it in the process, but it was the greatest revelation I have ever had and I need to share it.
LMAO TF
Hshsjdjh thats so weird what,,,?? do you have a link lol
Receipts???
Holy shit. Thank you for your service.
That's wild
It's a testament to this books awfulness when Jenny, who is typically very well-spoken and illustrative about her thoughts, is resigned to just saying "... Girl" after the bit at 12:00.
The author goes from having a super limited idea of how to use a website to fully detailing a cross site scripting attack. The disconnect is reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal.
jjjakey Copy pasted maybe
Yeah, no, this was written by someone with very limited understanding of how The Internets work - but juuust sufficient enough to go on a forum, ask "How would you hack somone's dating profile in a fictional universe where men in devil masks go waving submachine guns around residential areas and that's cool?" Got the answer, employed an obscure Copy And Paste tactic that no one probably knows about, went back to 1973 to carry on.
I just checked and, assuming she's of average height, 125 lbs is smack dab in the middle of the ideal range for her BMI, which is genuinely concerning if the author considers that 'whale' weight.
I agreee
It really depends on height too and age. But hard to believe that 125 would ever be whale weight I am personally around 200 range and 5 foot 9 and that is technically overweight but yeah. It honestly makes me mad when people who don’t actually weigh that much or weigh at an healthy weight day they are too fat. You beautiful bissshh every size. 🤣
willofbob
And the REAL average weight of an American woman is 180 pounds. That’s average. Everyone is lying
Maybe she has dwarfism?
@@MrShanester117 Yes, but the "average" American woman is overweight. 40% are obese. 180 may be the average, but it's overweight.
"She's an absolute whale, at 125 pounds"
Me, who's 144 pounds: oh my god thats so many
Fr😔 I'm tall so that makes up for my weight
Wow, I'm 5'6.5" and look too thin at 135 lbs, so I'd probably look emaciated at 125. I'm currently 150 lbs and size medium. Can only imagine what the author would think of someone my size or.... an actual plus size person if they believe 125 lbs is a "whale."
It's less than 60 kilograms
me, at over 200 pounds: _yes so many_
turbulentbeauty I would assume the character is probably around 5’2? But even then you would only be slightly, *slightly* overweight, you definitely would not be described as a “whale” lol
In theory, a story about a hacktivist seducing a corrupt judge’s daughter in order to expose his crimes as they fall in love sounds like a sexy, thrilling crime novel. In execution, we get THIS. 🤢
It probably could have been better if it was longer than seven chapters and showed rather than told all of this. Instead it all gets revealed in pillow talk!
You’ve got me thinking about the book it had the potential to be.
I am so pissed off.
Completely agree, that’s actually an interesting premise. But it seems it was a very tall order for the author.
@@anothermillennialschannel-9815 If this was written by someone like James Patterson, that shit would've blown up the New York Times Bestseller list and we all know it. It's disgraceful.
Let me know if a good book with this or a similar premise exists because now I'm invested
My new favorite phrase: "Midwestern mom with no shame." I want to commission an expensive portrait of myself with that phrase inscribed on a golden plaque beneath it.
I'll gladly do the portrait for you
I'm not even American and this comment is my best self.
You have to write a kind-of-but-not-really sexy romance novel with dubious consent before you can claim that title.
E.L. James: I wrote the worst trilogy of all time.
Emma Clark: Hold my beer.
*hack my beer
John O'Neill that was a weird episode of Stand Alone Complex
Wine.
@@munkyphunkable😂😂🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
I’m left with two giant questions I have to get out for my own sanity’s sake:
If he’s a hacker, why was his job to seduce a woman, gain access to her apartment, and then search it for physical evidence? None of that seems to play to a hacker’s strenghts. Why not try to access the judge’s computer or phone to find evidence by, you know, hacking him? Or if you can ‘hack’ her front door, why not just do that while she’s at work, and then search her apartment then?
The woman was very interested in getting a date, and had self esteem issues. Maybe try to seduce her by just asking her out nicely, and then gain her trust by being romantic? Acting crazy, admitting you hacked her, and breaking into her house sounds like the wrong strategy to reach your objective in every possible way.
Ugh, I have to go now, my brain is revolting…
So is hers HEYOOOO
Whatever the case, the "everything that has happened so far was all just a spy job" is about the lamest - and thus hilarious - narrative plot twist imaginable.
You wouldn't understand, you're just not MENSA enough.
The entire book is actually just the main character’s fever dream. Her dad isn’t even a judge
I'm not totally convinced this book isn't itself an act of trolling.
Sleepy Owl 🤯
This book was written by the kind of person who thinks JD from Heathers is romantic.
aacsmiles ew , totally.
shit you right I see the parallels ew
Justin dean
Nothing wrong with being a freak 💀💀💀
The musical version of the character is slightly more tolerable and less keen on killing Veronica, but still, a maniac.
the name "justin brogan" has major chad energy if you ask me
also is nobody gonna talk about how god awful spiky auburn hair with blonde highlights is
It's a cursed hairstyle. No one wants to talk about it.
@@ReiAnikaAyanami haha fair enough
it was SO HARD TO PICTURE
Is it guy fieri after all?
The hairstyle of someone in a college rock band in 2003
If you go and see the Goodreads page of this book, you're gonna be shocked. The people who genuinely love this thing? They exist
they what
In an ironic way?
Nah the author sends out the books to people for free in exchange for good reviews - one of the reviewers actually said this, then left a 5 star review...
😱
i've watched this video several times now and i've only just realized that the cover is a couple making out. every time i honest to god thought it was a polar bear around ice and every time i was like why would they do that.
Oh my gosh you're right and I also never noticed
Me too!
Same!! I thought it was something to do with ‘animalistic impulses’ or smth? Or just because polar bears are cool
I can't see a polar bear :(
Same, but I was honest-to-God 100% sure the cover was a troll. As in a fantasy bridge troll. Now that you've revealed the truth to me, I can't unsee the couple making out, I can't even point out where exactly I saw a troll... but I swear that up until three minutes ago that cover depicted a bloody troll! I'm not mad, I'm perfectly sane!
Her “tummy” reference is about as sexy as him saying, “My ‘wee wee” was so happy to see her!” 😂😂🤣🤣
"My wee wee was like weeeeeeeee!"
@@PoochieCollins this made me laugh harder than it should have
I like how the megaporg in the background is in the French girl pose
Crmccombs draw me like one of your French girls
@@iliketrains5525 *french porgs
This was my first ever Jenny Nicholson video. I'm so glad this managed to hit the algorithm in a way that caused it to show up on my recommended page. She truly is a gift.
Man, you really got thrown in the deep end. I don't know what would qualify as "entry level Jenny" (probably one of the Star Wars videos) but this really isn't it. Have you by chance seen the gaslit labyrinth that is her MLP parody?
her: i like bad boys
me: (trying to impress her) imma hack your computer and view your webcam and show up at your house
Not gonna brag, my bedtime is 9 pm but i sleep at 9:01
@solaire of astora \[T]/
I looked it up. Apparently she IS a mom from the midwest. Good lord.
How completely unexpected
Oh boy. I feel sorry for the kids.
and there is a part four :)
SERIOUSLY?! I thought this was a neck beard guy that pretended to be “Emma Clark”
...SHE IS ALSO A CHILDREN"S BOOK AUTHOR. Her list of books written include this abomination and other erotica with fairy tale retellings and rhyming the alphabet
"I don't wanna offended anyone named 'Justin'...but it's just 'Justin''. Dude I laughed so hard I snorted and I don't even know why.
it's Just In Her full name.
despite this book being terrible, it does seem to have the most accurate description of hacking I've ever seen in a work of fiction
Oh my god, you’re right. How was the bar that low
Further proof it was actually written by a guy
@@Degioannie uhm what
@@snoozley853 stereotypes exist for a reason. For some reason or another, men enjoy dealing with computers in general more than women. Idk why. Obviously it's not a good idea to make broad generalizations, I'm a guy and I'm basically tech illiterate, but the trend is still pretty accurate.
This doesn’t necessarily conflict with what you said but if you’re interested, research in the gender divide in computing generally shows that men and women are equally interested in and competent with computers as children (until about 3rd grade). But after this age both girls and boys begin to believe boys are “better” at using computers and girls generally begin to decline in confidence and therefore interest. The same pattern is seen in math and some sciences. You can identify this trend as caused by stereotype threat (not just natural disinterest) because if reminded of their gender prior to taking a math exam, women do worse than if their gender isn’t mentioned. The same is not true for men. A reminder that you’re supposedly bad at something is enough to diminish your abilities.
By adulthood, men use computers more than women and are more likely to enter tech related careers, even though among adults who actually are software engineers there is no difference in skill between genders. So you’re actually kind of right, women enjoy dealing with computers slightly less than men, but they don’t start out that way; they learn that at a young age. Right or not, you might want to consider the stereotypes you reinforce. They’re kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy, don’t you think?
Jenny Nicholson I don't know if anyone has made this comment yet: I have a degree in Digital Forensics, and that explanation of how he hacked her computer is 100% accurate. Mr. Robot isn't that accurate. A hacker wrote this book.
That’s what I was thinking. The rest is so badly written that it CANT have been a writer. It was a hacker trying to write romance. (I use the term ‘romance’ loosely)
Maybe it's a very bizarre wish fulfillment fic by a hacker?
@@Jessamine29 no shit,
I mean, who else would title their magnum opus with an acronym. Lol
I just assumed someone googled it or got help and copy pasted that part, since it’s so direct and technical and they otherwise don’t know how computers/the internet works.
When I first read the video title, I thought it was gonna be a knock off twilight book where instead of hot vampires or werewolves it was a hot troll that lived under a bridge who our heroine met when she was told to solve three riddles. Turns out one of the riddles...was the trolls heart.
Memsly Mem because it came from me and I’m the best.
...i'm suddenly really happy that that didn't happen...😓
renge Speak for urself 😤
Heroine* Heroin is probably what the author was on when they wrote this book.
AnimatedGeek100 honestly that’s a better concept than the book we got.
I was surprisingly far into this before I realised that he wasn't the kind of troll that turns to stone in the sunlight.
Graham Kennedy I love you.
I genuinely thought it was going to be some urban fantasy monster erotica. Knowing human nature, that almost certainly exists.
I thought it was going to be like “he trolled me, but it’s not his fault he does bad things! Don’t you see, he’s literally a TROLL (who has excellent wifi under his bridge).”
Ali the Heep That would probably be better than what it actually was
I honestly thought it would be some two ways metaphor, like a homeless war veteran who lives under a bridge and is bitter about life and politics, tries to be nice to other people who are in bad conditions in real life (because one might want to make the romantic interest, you know, have some qualities) but he would use a library computer to vent his many pent up frustrations, becoming an internet troll (he could use the nick Troll as a self-reminder that he lives under a bridge, oh, the cheap drama!).
The protagonist would engage in flame wars against him until they meet and, you know, the old tropes would ensue, her discovering his broken heart/heart of gold (and that he looks good, of course), him trying to be a better person to be with her but, ashamed of his life, he would be going in and off those silly self-pity romantic novel tantrums etc until a climax where his old unity whatever-dramatic-something leaving a potentially dramatic event for a following novel that would trace back its steps and undo the purposed dramatic ending.
But, alas, it was shallower than even I could ever dream.
For being 21 years old, the protagonist sure feels like an alien chronicling their first day on planet earth
This is a trilogy? Which means there's a Troll 2?
OH MY GODDDDDDDDD
I was looking for a comment about that movie lol
liskovecsf Featuring the McElroy brothers.
THEY'RE NEGGING HER. AND THEN THEY'RE GONNA NEG ME.
@@yahooeny OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!
You can't piss on hospitality! My tummy won't allow it!
Justin : *breaks into home*
Also Justin : "My job was to gain your trust"
😂
Justin: "I'm bad at my job"
"... a deadly, sexually potent man with intelligence sharp enough to get him accepted in Mensa."
LMAOOOOOO
I know that's not what it means, but that sentence always makes me laugh because in German, "mensa" translates to (school) cafeteria and it just tickles me that he would brag to her that people let him in the cafeteria because he's so smart xD
@@lesmortimers4791 as a german, I was thinking the same thing when she read that part :D
it' hilarious how internet trolls always brag about being in Mensa yet suspiciously, apparently do nothing else with their colossal IQ they could brag about on the interwebz.
@@lesmortimers4791 same, in italian it means cafeteria hahah
Well spanish wise, mensa is stupid girl basically, so yeah, hes smart enough to get into a stupid girl.
I feel like Revealing Eden: Save the Pearls is the worst book. It's about how a white girl has to use blackface to survive in a post-apocalyptic society
Wait what?
Oh god, why does that ring a bell? I think I saw a screenshot of the blurb somewhere, and it was overwhelmingly racist. Like some sort of "white genocide" fetish fantasy written by a Republican.
Why does the apocalypse dislike white people?
@@davidtaylor142 Because it was brought upon the world by liberal sjw black gay antifa commie feminazis!
@@ribozyme2899 obviously /s
Someone had a REALLY niche kink and HAD to share it lmao
Domination and control isn't all that niche
@@SilverShadow02 "Domination and control" is a lot more vague than "wanting someone to hack my computer then break into my house"
@@sunnysea24 yeah you tell him
Well, I'm into this THICC Porg in the bsckground
i think this is a logical progression from 50 shades. 😌
Hacker voice: I'm Just in
Tokehko 220 sorry im replying late but this is SO fucking funny
If he was such a good hacker, wouldn’t he just hack to find Judge Atkin’s bank account statements or something??
That strikes me as a "solve that problem and you have no story" problem. Then again, considering the story in question...
Shhhhh we don't have room for continuity here
@@blokey8Thing is, good storytelling will allow for scenarios where this sort of solution can't happen, even if it's just simple. Everyone always asks why they didn't just fly to Mordor on the eagles in TLOTR, but they forget that there IS an explanation in the text. The eagles are scarcely seen, and even rarer do they interact with people. When they finally arrive after the armies of Mordor fall to bring our heroes home, it's seen as somewhat of a miracle and a sign that evil has left the land.
Other stories will provide solutions such as the characters simply hadn't considered the possibility, and set up their scenarios in ways that make that reality plausible. In Avengers Endgame, we see that Tony Stark has been trying to figure out time travel, but had concluded it was impossible and so filed it away or had slowed his work on it. It's only when Scott Lang arrives as living proof that you can safely travel through the timestream that his belief in his work is renewed and he's able to finally crack the code. Here we see that he did do the logical thing. Tony Stark is a super-genius, if anyone can figure out time travel it's him. Of course he considered it. But he ruled it out BECAUSE he was logical and he didn't see it as a probable solution.
This particular instance didn't give any reason as to why he wouldn't approach the problem like that, or couldn't. The fact that he's a part of an organized group makes it even weirder. There's ways it COULD work. Maybe they wanted some kind of blackmail so he started dating the judge's daughter to get racey images of her or something. It totally COULD work, the author just clearly didn't think about it very much haha.
@@autumn_breeze616 I'm actually with you on pretty much all of that.
This story reminds me of when I had to write an SAT writing prompt and described the characters in detail only to realize I only had 15 minutes left to have them actually do something
Jenny! Emma Clark has more books! They're called "Boy Next Door", "Chosen", "Baby Daddy", "Dancer", and "Teaching Melody"! Please review them!
Rachel Likes To Smile Baby Daddy omg
I absolutely had to look these up.
Boy Next Door = kidnapping and BDSM
Chosen = girl gets drugged, becomes the sexual prize for some contest
Baby Daddy = woman hates husband, cheats on him with stepson (who I share a name with... oof)
Dancer = girl's friend dies, she meets a dancer, ...revenge? Not sure how erotica works into this...
Teaching Melody = girl has crush on friend's single father
WHAT
Rachel Likes To Smile "baby daddy" i sCreamed
RM
@method haibane lol Which part?
Man, if this is how the protagonist responds to internet sexual harassment, she wouldn't last a second on Xbox Live.
Just wait until the bot breaks and splurts out code, she would be shocked
ahhhhhh lmao
jjjakey what’s your Xbox name lemme harass you
I haven't used my XBox account since early 360 era, you're better off just leaving the harassment here lmao.
+jjjakey
Ok, your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of Elder-berries.
im just gonna say, being a writer named emma clark and hearing your name in a video where jenny is talking about the worst book she's found made me double take
Nice profile picture
Being a writer and hearing "I've found the worst book" is enough to put you on edge. I don't think I've met a single writer who thinks their shit is good who's shit is actually... good.
I don't even write novels, I write screenplay, and I still got uppity until I heard the name. RIP to you for actually being named Emma Clark lol.
Don't worry no one reads your books
@@qwerty8382 haha wowee very epic piece of shit human being moment
Lmao I'm sure there could be another person just like you. Emma clark is a pretty common name I think
I wish more than anything she would bring this back! It’s oddly nice to be read to and joked with. Trigger Warning has been my favorite so far but this cracked me up too!
If I ever succumb to my own hubris and try to write a novel, I’m going to proofread my work in Jenny’s voice to keep myself humble.
"I noticed the cleavage in your photo." This is the Sharknado of books.
“She’s insecure, but she turns men’s heads everywhere she goes.”
To quote KrimsonRogue: “Bella Swan harder!!!”
I mean, it's not impossible or even improbable. Being attractive doesn't mean you can't be insecure. But it IS a trope done to death.
She's actually just so ugly its horribly noticeable
I am a weird inverse Bella Swan in that I think I'm pretty dang cute and no one else seems to agree, so I can only conclude I'm biased. Or that men are intimidated by the intelligence, or don't like it that I snort when I laugh real hard.
@@FiddlebirdBlue You're so beautiful that everyone else is scared and has to put you down lest their fragile egos shatter like glass
She was 5'5", 124 lbs with long auburn hair and green eyes with little gold flecks. But no one wanted her because she was slightly socially awkward and tended to stutter when nervous.
K.
I just can't get over the concerned look that the porg behind Jenny has. It looks both amazed, worried and flabbergasted, clearly worried for Jenny's mental health while reading this book. Same, little guy, same.