Why Does Creepypasta Suck

The opinions expressed in this video are written in the first-person as a storytelling choice to make it all feel real. Please comment in-character.
Select your fake creepypasta story I made up:
The Candle Lady - / jennynicholson
My sexy girlfriend died and is a ghost - / jennyenicholson
Crash Bandicoot but he's bleeding from the eyes.jpeg - / spider_jewel
Never climb inside an old suitcase in a Toys R Us parking lot at 3am - / spiderjewel
Big Scorpion - / jennynicholsonvids
Stories mentioned:
The Expressionless - creepypasta.wik...
Candle Cove - ichorfalls.chai...
Abandoned By Disney - slimebeast.com/...
The Russian Sleep Experiment - creepypasta.wik...
Ted's Caving Page - www.angelfire.c...