I feel like one of the female Social Justice Nerds was described as "purple haired and chunky" (as opposed to the one who used to be a cheerleader but now tragically had dreadlocks and NO MAKEUP). Which, to be fair, probably falls into the "Big" category.
My favorite part is that he's not "coddled"like the other students, but also gets out of trouble for being the grandson of one of the school's major donors. Real underdog, this one.
@@kawaii33366 In fairness, it's a university; I'm guessing no one with a lower than average income's going to be present, let alone properly portrayed, unless they're on a scholarship. *EDIT:* This is a _massive_ sweeping generalisation on my part.
@@leongkinwai9709 many poor people go to universities.. what are you talking about? Most of my friends are struggling to get by, but all are university students.
When Jake was a lad, he ate four dozen eggs Every morning to help him get large And now that he's grown, he eats five dozen eggs So he's roughly the size of a barge
No one's slick like Jake Riv No one's big like Jake Riv No one's *BLEEP*'s as incredibly thick like Jake Riv's . For there's no man on campus half as manly. Perfect, a pure patriot! You can ask any Chad, Kyle or Karen. And they'll tell you how much they want that bod.
No one's droll like Big Jake No one's swole like Big Jake No one fits his assigned gender role like Big Jake "I'm especially fond of the patriarchy" My what a guy that Big Jake!
Jake is the grandson of a millionaire who was paying for tuition of a military veteran-you know, a person who receives government subsidies for attending higher education. So, the author didn’t even need to have Jake enjoy the privilege of having a wealthy family member.
@@alexwyatt2911 Trust me, a veteran using the GI bill for their tuition is not the same as having a millionaire in the family lol. It helps a lot, but there are still plenty of fees it doesn't cover
It's amazing how sensitive privilege can be when it gets called out, kind of like how Gwyneth Paltrow went on a rant about the concept of "Nepo Babies", while she got her debut movie role in 'Hook' as young Wendy Darling because Steven Spielberg is LITERALLY HER GODFATHER (to clarify, this is not me accusing "all sides" - Gwyneth Paltrow might be 'liberal' but she's not a leftist, she's a capitalist)
Hi my name is jake rivers and I have a big tall large big grandpa (that’s how I got my name). I have pale white skin. I’m also big, and I go to a trigger warning lib school school called Kelton in America. I’m big (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly camo. I love Bass Pro Shop and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a camo jacket with matching comfortable shorts, an inside-the-waist-band holster, knife and gun. I was walking outside Kelton College. A lot of antifa stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.
beginning of the paragraph: I hate it when women are being mistreated. end of the paragraph: but if a woman is assaulted in front of me I'm okay with that.
I love how the author seems to think of college students as a bunch of wimpy pansys but said students are just constantly starting fights through the book
This is explained as a test of protagonist's abilites somehow arranged by the main antagonist in the scene read around minute 50, where anatagonist does sudden exposition of his evil plans.
@@smileitsjustagame2937 yeah had to throw "father" in there otherwise he'd feel too womanly ...all those hormones in our food and environment making men pansies and girly and such
trigger warning adaptation with every huge musclebro in hollywood playing jake. every time the camera angle changes its a different dude. vin diesel, the rock, john cena, momoa. fuck it, make kumail nanjiani the Final Jake
Doesn't that mean he took his grandfather's name from his mother's side of the family? Like, his mom's dad. If it were "paternal grandfather" it would be his dad's dad.
@@flyingfox3296 it also means he took his mother’s maiden name. And she was divorced, so it was just her name. He took his mother’s name. But that would be girly of him. So instead he said maternal grandfather. Because man.
heard they contacted Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson, but they did not wanted adaptation to be tainted by an actor from a snowflake country filled with triggered government.
@@Koooles actually, they casted him and Dwayne Johnson to play Jake. Bjornsson wouldve been the top half with the rock sitting on his shoulders. They had to make a custom trench coat to fit them but it worked
It happens dude. Police recently stopped a black woman from drowning her own baby in the bathtub and the whole black community was angry at the police lol. Almost as if it is a black persons right to drown their own children or something...
@@BumboLooksthat is so true. I made my mum coffee and she called me a toxic racist, doxxed me, broke my legs, and locked me in the attic. I've been trapped here for a week now and nobody will help because I've been cancelled.
@@kwarra-an Your comment is nothing but meaningless hyperbole... Here's something that would actually happen, ( this did actually happen to me ). You're at university. It's your first day so you don't know your way around the campus. You unknowingly walk into the women's graduate club. It is a floor dedicated as a women's only area. You see a student accidentally drop ten or so big books. You start picking them up. She tells you to "stop touching my shit" and says "get the fuck out of here, This is a sexism free zone" without explanation.
The dude, a trained soldier, gets triggered into some PTSD episodes just from looking at a different shade of skin but students being traumatized by an armed hostage situation are below him.
Yeah you know it's real unfortunate how the author accidentally demonstrates how toxic masculinity prevents people who need help from actually seeking it and regarding others who struggle as lowly.
@@discospider4120 is this unfortunate, though? This may enter tinfoil hat territory, but if I wanted to make conservative readers think about the complexity of something like PTSD, I might try a subversive approach where I appear to play into their prejudices at first. Edit: maybe the reference to Audie Murphy was deliberate.
@@lukasthedark8478 ummm maybe in the first fight scene... But he tensed up looking at the middle eastern dude not only due to racial prejudice, but also possibly because all the enemy combatants when he was overseas were of Middle Eastern heritage... So.... The color of someone's skin definitely affects how Jake sees them
This whole book has the same energy as my 10-year-old brother insisting he'd stay stone-cold during those action film torture scenes if it were him instead of the hero
Pretty sure even people who DO resist torture usually don't stay stone-cold throughout it (and even if they do, the "stone cold" could be catatonia or some other brain condition and not really what it appears to be - that or the torture being done in such a way it allows very little avenue for reaction and creating what is effectively a "living death" and the closest IRL thing you could possibly imagine to an evil witch turning you into a doll or other inanimate object, which, yes, is a thing that happens, perhaps especially when the torture is done in an abusive facility in the name of "improving behavior", like the troubled teen industry or Judge Rotenberg Center).
It’s almost as if the authors don’t know how higher education works. „Yeah you just visit random courses, probably ‚male privilege history’ or whatever the libs are forcing down our children’s throats, and if you are good you get a masters“
Book description: "This is a book about a hero who doesn't get TRIGGERED like all the LEFTIST SNOWFLAKES!!!" Literally the first paragraph: Hero gets so upset by a book that he feels the urge to throw it against a wall.
It's funny how conservatives think you're a worthless snowflake if you express your emotions through words or demands for better legislation, but you're a total badass if you express your emotions by screaming, breaking things, and hitting people. Kinda sounds more like the difference between adults and children.
I mean he also then experiences a PTSD flashback which is literally where the term "trigger" comes from, and is a major reason why trigger warnings exist sooooo
@@brendaningram4362 "a PTSD flashback which is literally where the term "trigger" comes from" I'm sorry? EDIT: OH! Never mind, I misread your comment. Derp.
Ha! Good one! Your wit is only surpassed by your charm and overall bigness. You're the kind of person who knows what makes a good day and what just isn't gonna cut it, and you don't have time for time wasters who fool around when they should be focusing on making the day good, great even, as you make every day to everyone you meet.
It's because you compare your writing to your own standards. Which are probably much higher than the standards of the people who would read this book willingly. So ay least your writing will turn out better when and if you do publish it.
Anyone can be a "published author", literally anyone, you should publish it, that's the easiest step, if you don't you'll lose the experience of having your work out there
it's so funny to me that the only thing that happened between Natalie and Jake is her endlessly complimenting him and agreeing with his worldview, and by the end of the book he's madly in love with her and forgives her for helping to take a school hostage and committing acts of terrorism. Apparently the only thing Jake wants in a woman is compliance and an ego boost and he's in love
I would have really enjoyed omniscient narrator referencing everything to just how big it is in comparison to Jake. "Jake entered the Math building, which was at least 15 Good-sized Jakes stacked on top of each other."
I'm assuming this university is in the US, so using anything other than metric to measure size seems wholly correct. "This clearly beta male was roughly about 0.63 Jakes in stature - he would be no problem for Jakes even on a bad day, which was any day that included reading."
I came out of my service a big ol' gay non-binary commie and even I came out with back pain and mental issues. Also, I can't fold laundry like a normal human and certain pitches of alarms and beeps make me taste metal.
The next step of cancel culture is manifesting it into irl space hence the liberal foot clan appearing. You see it takes a very high IQ to interpret the events of this book and
Setting it up for the sequel where Dog turns bad and Jakes immediately surrenders bc Dog is 2 inches taller than him - and size really does matter. But then he grabs a chainsaw outta nowhere and attacks Dog's knee 'cutting him down to size' but then Jakes spares his life bc now he is 'the bigger man'
I still think the best part was that after saving his fellow college student, random antifa-esque agents just kind of rush him with chains and pipes immediately. I know it was a "corrdinated strike" on a dangerous big boy, but in the moment that was golden.
@HolyBird007 Yeah, rewatching this (yet again) that occurred to me (actually for the first time, whoops). Jake gets flashbacks, and doesn't feel safe without having weapons/access to weapons. You could interpret the "Jake is uncomfortable when he sees a Middle Eastern person" thing as his untreated PTSD (because we never see him go to therapy/a support group) turning this into some kind of racist phobia, where he's fixated on Arab or Middle Eastern PoC so much due to his experience with them overseas/in the battlefield that that's 100% what he associates them with (enabled by racial attitudes he learned from American culture, which his time in military service really drilled in extra-hard?). He's still a dick, obviously, but it kind of exposes how (at least for this author/their fans) the role of the ideal, masculine man is actually a deeply damaged/unstable person.
"William authored 400+ books." "And William is also dead." "And the real person who wrote this book was a woman pretending to be a man." *the backstory of this book is even better than the book itself*
Johnstone's actual history is better. He apparently got kicked out of the French Foreign Legion and the joined the circus before becoming a Radio Host and then a Sheriff. THEN an author.
@@ShadowSonic2 Jesus, aren't the Foreign Legion supposed to be the people that take anyone? Like...fucking anyone, to the point that they're a common choice for people on the run from some country's police and most are deployed without learning how to shoot properly? From the stories I've heard from people in the Legion, that sounds like it would Have to be really hard. Like...there are people in there now who have been beaten by their superiors to the point that they needed to stay in a hospital for six months, and multiple people that threatened to kill that superior if he didn't stop the beating that also all kept their job. It's hard to imagine what's over that particular line.
My hunch is that long ago, perhaps sometime in the 1990s, William Johnstone became a house author; a pen name used by a bunch of writers coordinated by J.A. Johnstone. This was a pretty common thing back in the day: "Franklin Dixon" (Hardy Boys) is a good example. This would also help explain some of the genre-switching and the like. I don't find 200 novels (the number published before or soon after his death) in about 20 years to be a particularly plausible output level for one or two people.
@@BartMassey-PO8 Agreed; it's definitely a name employed by multiple ghost writers. A minimum of 330 books in sixteen years (fuck, even thirty years) is a completely ridiculous level of output from a single human being. It would easily make her the single most prolific fiction author in human history. L Ron Hubbard ranks pretty high on that particular list and he only ever managed to write something like 500,000 words in his entire career, something he achieved by publishing in pulp magazines in an era where literally never reading back (much less editing) anything because no one would care in a month was a viable strategy. Like...this is bad, but even this isn't even close to the standard of writing you'd expect from a novel written in its entirety in a couple of days.
"The gunman was white, fairly young and average looking. Nothing about him screamed mass shooter" is the funniest line I've ever heard. Coming from a white, fairly young and average looking man.
that bit is such a weird bit of irony. "William" clearly thinks the average shooter is a Muslim Arab, but for some reason decides to go against those biases and opt for something more creative, and in doing so stumbles bass-ackwards into what most shooters are actually like. it hurts my brain to think about
Jakes be like "oh antifa is a dangerous terorrist organization, but they're also a bunch of snowflakes with brightly colored hair, but they're also an organized team of ninjas wielding improvized weapons, but theyre also a bunch of soyboys"
The fascist dilemma. The enemy must be strong enough to threaten us with annihilation but also very weak because we are the greatest people that ever was!
@@HeloisGevit The enemy must be devious and intimidating to justify us "retaliating" with extreme violence and also to make us look better when we "win".
It's like the author has literally no idea what "triggered" (or any of the other "libtard" phrases he uses) actually mean, and just got it down the grapevine from people mocking libruls.
@@timothymclean I'm like 99.9% certain that this entire book was written by his niece. There's no way you can convince me that army vet and former sheriff William Johnstone had a draft manuscript of this written in the 80's/90's, before he stopped writing those cowboy and horror books and died, when the book has references to "intersectional feminism", and the term wasn't theorised until 1989 by Kimberle Crenshaw and hasn't come into common parlance as a critical framework since not even the last 5 years :')
@@wildheartmustang I don't even think Jenny really believes that. It was simply the most charitable theory about the co-author subterfuge. Jo is clearly writing her own crappy fiction now. Good God, that book sounds so cringey!
I wonder if Jake's nose is as big as Doc Motumbo's. If Jake says your nose is big does that mean it's even bigger than his or, since Jake IS big, any nose that's the same size as his is a big nose.
@@NotTheAntichrist I believe we are to understand that Jake, while very big, has a nose that is proportionately average-size relative to the rest of his face, so while relative to each other, his nose may be as big or even bigger than Motumbo's, it is not a thing worthy of ridicule, according to the author. Having a nose that is oversized relative to your face is apparently something that Motumbo should have trained for, and is a sign of his lack of conviction to being manly
I'm so glad you brought up Audie Murphy's struggle with PTSD. He's one of the main reasons why PTSD got destigmatized in the US. Usually when soldiers suffered from it, they were seen as cowards. But it's a bit hard to call a man as beloved and decorated as Audie Murphy a coward, so when he started getting very public with his PTSD, it helped a lot of people see the disease in a new light. The sheer audacity for the author to bring him up and praise him without mentioning his PTSD in a book sarcastically called "trigger warning" tho...
It’d actually be a cool idea, if “Trigger Warning” started off as a right-wing power fantasy but challenged the stigma against people who are sensitive to triggers and subverted the stereotypes associated with “special snowflakes” by referencing real people and utilizing characters that are paragons of manliness but open about their vulnerabilities. But I guess there’s no room for nuance when you’ve got a protagonist as B I G as Jake.
@@TheMouseAvenger I couldn't help but read it as if you're saying that's great the Audie Murphy had PTSD. I know you didn't though and it made me laugh.
It's honestly shocking to me that the conflict wasn't resolved by Jake shooting the main bad guy and saying, "I guess you could say I'm... *triggered* " before firing the gun.
I work in a library and whenever someone checks out one of these books I always have to refrain from being like DID YOU KNOW HE'S DEAD AND HIS NIECE WRITES THESE (I have told all my coworkers though)
That first scene with the violent mob is such a beautiful, absurd representation of what conservatives think "cancel culture" is: An innocent white man with traditional values gets called a fascist for no reason and then anonymous attackers swarm him while onlookers cheer for his demise. When you have never faced real oppression and discrimination in your life, I imagine this is how dramatic it feels when strangers call you out on Twitter for using a slur.
Fr tho. Like, my brother in Christ. You can't get angry at people calling you a fascist if whenever there's a "Unite The Right" rally your ideological allies bring out torches and yell "Jews will not replace us!". The last time I saw that many Nazi flags I was playing Wolfenstein.
that scene sounds exactly like this meme post from tumblr called the down with cis bus and it makes me giggle that this author genuinely wrote that whole exchange
It's extra ironic that he also complains about leftists being pacifist wimps who won't "embrace violence". Amazing how Jake is the perfect level of violent while all leftists are simultaneously too violent and not violent enough.
@@TheAutomaton37 I was just about to say that technically maternal grandfather was the correct way to say it, but nope, mother's maiden name is actually the correct nomenclature.
I.e A high school where you supposedly get bullied for existing as a white man and helping a woman when she's being assaulted. Also, antifa super soldiers. I noticed that when I started going to college, I started to lean way more left, not because of the teachers trying to drill it into me or anything, but just because it makes everyone's day easier. Pretty much everyone's there to get their classes done, to transfer or get a degree, and thinking that maybe "fellow gays aren't bad" or "women are as good as men" helps everybody out way more than being 'that guy' and stopping to go on a weird conservative tangent or trying to trick the teacher into some Shapiro "gotcha" trap. The point is, Conservatives who constantly whine about being bullied or "persecuted" for their beliefs on campus either don't actually go to college, or genuinely perceive classmates expressing annoyance at their bigoted opinions as "bullying". Truly, the totally-not-snowflakiest political group is unflappable.
@@davidk7439 As someone who used to be like that back in early undergrad, you really hit the nail on the head. Wasn't fun, being that one nag who was like "but ACKSHUALLY". Got out of that phase by around 2016-2017.
@@elizabethbennet4791 Robert Evans does some great dramatic readings of it on his podcast Behind the Bastards. Benny has a weird preoccupation with stating the exact heights of every character.
What's most offensive to me about this book is that the author didn't realize emergency exit signs are independently powered so they don't go out if there's a power outage... Because they're emergency lights....... If they go out during an emergency, it kinda defeats the purpose...
@@kimberlybridges8591 exactly my thought but I honestly would probably miss that detail writing this book, the author's ideas seemed at least to me plugged wayy too hard wayy to often as if the author was scared nobody would understand his ideology or what theme he's trying to convey.
it's extremely easy to realize that this entire book is just some sort of power fantasy for the author, it's literally like the adult equivalent of a little kid drawing a buff guy labeled "me (cool)" next to an angry stick figure labeled "timmy (is stinky and stole my red crayon)"
@@reaganrambles1951actually I can't find it anymore but there was a comment on here from a trans man saying they kept thinking this book read like a closeted trans man's power fantasy throughout the video, only to be surprised by the end of the video. Make that what you will.
vouch-- everything about this from the bigness to the defensive masculinity to way natalie is described in her character introduction to the way jake talks about taking his own name from a male relative screams repressed conservative middle aged trans man@@atomheartother edit: dghldkgdjf also how similar 'jake' is to JA's name and the extremely tersely maintained lack of pronouns in the author bio
Jake: unlike you sjws I am not easily triggered. Also Jake: literally gets triggered within the first chapter. Tenses up whenever he sees a middle-eastern person
No, that's antifa who shows up. I don't get why people don't criticize the stupid implication that a roving black block of people just constantly patrols this college attacking those that oppose them. Instead of saying they're "ninjas" or "Muslims".
I love how Chief McRainey is like “ugh here come the feds, they’re going to try to take all the glory from us local cops and take over the whole investigation” when he’s literally the campus police. That’s like a bombing happening at a strip mall and the mall cop being upset that a SWAT team showed up.
@@KB-zq9ny Oh, no, you aren't getting out of this that easily. You can't just decide someone isn't Christian because it's convenient for you to not be associated with them. Every heard of the No True Scotsman fallacy?
@@KB-zq9ny A Christian is literally someone who follows the religion Christianity, don't try to be pulling this bullshit where Christian just means "person who is good" because literally no one uses the word that way except for you and other apologists.
“The gunman was white, fairly young, and average looking. Nothing about him shouted mass shooter” I like the irony of this description coming right after the single named "middle eastern looking guy" in the book is explicitly labeled to cause discomfort to the protagonist simply because he is middle eastern looking. Peak literature right here lmao
Honestly, someone who was at war in the middle east, I wouldn't be entirely surprised if he was a little uncomfortable around somene who was middle eastern. And a character who is trying to work through biases caused by war would be interesting. Although the one (named) middle eastern character selling out his friend and aligning himself with the villan is, yikes.
@@TehLB I'm now imagining a universe where all mass shooters are wearing Immortan Joe masks and a t-shirt saying, "I am a mass shooter" wherever they go.
@@pianoaddict772 bad character traits tend to all come together. If one hates other races and homosexuals, is it really that far for them to start hating women and jewish people too?
6:03 Gotta respect how the author asked herself what kind of character her target audience would find appealing, and came up with a guy that takes two to five minutes to decipher visual information and 0.03 seconds to formulate assumptions
The best part for me was when Jake laughed at the "snowflakes" having PTSD from the shooting, while clearly having PTSD himself from the war (My guess is the author doesn't know "shell shock" is actually PTSD)
Let me clear this up for you being shell shocked is actually a myth it was actually a tactic used by the left to create a new type of effeminate man and cut them out of work force in order to increase the amount of women in the work force. They used it so the females could dominate the men it truly is tragic.
@@thesigmamale2134 “it truly is tragic”, oh stfu, and go outside. Women aren’t dominated males in anything. And “effeminate man”, again just stfu. You’re so focused on enforcing the idea of masculinity onto every man, just mind ur business and stfu. What’s wrong with femininity? Are you implying it’s weak? I would engage in a rational debate but honestly you’re so far gone
@@TaraCarmelina I do go outside every day I expose myself to the true horrors of this world I'm the modern day napoleon my campaigns are dangerous and righteous. If you truly think that there isn't a movement for women to dominate men you clearly haven't been paying attention. I am indeed saying femininity is weak should be stomped out of every man as soon as even a hint of it is discovered. You couldn't even engage in a rational debate you are so scared of your twisted worldview crumbling you would do anything to keep it up even if you have to fill the cracks and holes with lies you simply dont care but I must warn you my friend that house will come crashing down one day and no lies could possibly rebuild the house.
@@thesigmamale2134 I genuinely cannot tell if you're being sincere. Your username combined with the dumb shit you're saying looks like a parody I would write.
I googled “pajama boys insult” for you, and it refers to a character in a 2013 infomercial promoting Obamacare. It’s obscure af, and its use has convinced me that this book is not actually satire. Conservatives really think this way, god help us.
@@chestercopperpot777😂where are you getting that chimps type 2 words per minute with…sticks? You’ve seriously been crying all over this video. THIS is your 10 hour work day. If you’re saying that that rant or any of your other rants took you a minute to type, you’re a liar. Lying is a sin. Go repent.
I'm not saying that Professor Mtumbo has the physical description of an antisemitic caricature, but Professor Mtumbo has the physical description of an antisemitic caricature.
An antisemitic caricature with an incredibly WASPy upper-class birth name and background. It's like those old American political cartoons from the 19th century that portray the Pope as a Jewish stereotype to make him scarier.
Also his name implies he's corrupt, lacks vision, not self aware, short sighted in thought, etc. in East Africa. It's a name used to imply something since it means intestines which is a callback to gluttony
This is a good novel, touching on all the important issues. My only criticism is that Jake the protagonist could have been bigger. You know, for realism.
@@alexwyatt2911 William, the primary credited author is. It's being marketed as his book, completed by his niece, despite that being clearly not the case.
Because the professor's relationship with him is already sexually power-imbalanced AF, and the way she adores old fashioned men and hates her own SJW students, and clearly craves a man as elderly as the author was, I'm just gonna go ahead and assume Natalie is like 65-70 years old. It makes the story a lot more fun.
We can just pretend she was the love interest from that Mystery Science Theater 3000 movie, Space Mutiny. A woman in her fifties that dyed her hair, still looks old, and thinks she's perfectly able to date the twenty something lead and nobody will notice!
Noah Ariss interestingly enough the leading lady in space mutiny was married to the male lead in real life. And is also not older than him lol. I looked it up after seeing that movie featured on many bad B movie reviews
The irony of the book title being called "Trigger Warning" as a way to mock something used to prevent panic attacks and traumatic flashbacks and Jake suffering from PTSD and being triggered into traumatic flashbacks
It’s actually used to mock people who get “offended over nothing”. A lot of conservatives specifically made fun of this phenomenon a few years ago where people got “triggered” over social justice issues etc. The term now is outdated however, since people now use trigger warnings accordingly.
@@xxxmaysilssss690 triggered literally comes from psychology And therapy and has been used in a legitimate way long before it was morphed into whatever it became in the past 10 years
Jake woke up to the rays of the sun streaming through the slats on his blinds, cascading over his big chest. He stretched, his bigness lifting with his arms as he greeted the sun. He rolled out of the bed and put on a shirt, his bigness prominently showing through the thin fabric. He bigged bigly to the stairs, and firmed downwards
@@SpookyySpaghetti it’s a tumblr post that’s like Male writers writing female characters: "Cassandra woke up to the rays of the sun streaming through the slats on her blinds, cascading over her naked chest. She stretched, her breasts lifting with her arms as she greeted the sun. She rolled out of bed and put on a shirt, her nipples prominently showing through the thin fabric. She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards."
absolutely insane to me that this writer touted an incredibly traumatized war veteran who wrote poetry and advocated for ptsd and mental illness research as some sort of anti-snowflake tough son of a gun macho man figure when in actuality he was someone the writer would most definitely call a snowflake if she bothered to learn more about the guy past surface level information
imagine writing a whole book mocking the left for trigger warnings, microaggressions, and safe spaces without understanding what a single one of those words mean.
I love how she's unable to use any of those words in a sentence, to the point where she just straight-up says Jake overheard those specific words in an undefined conversation with zero context.
Imagine writing a book calling everyone special snowflakes, then outright saying that your oh-so-special protagonist isn't like 99.9% of the people around him. (I'm starting to wonder if this all wasn't one big troll scheme.)
"I'm six months old, yet I despise the music of today, also female singers back in the day didn't have to show any skin and..." Yep, you will always find that "special super rare old soul" on every comment section for any older music video.
I haven't even been conceived yet, yet I despise today's music because I need something to publicly hate to make me feel superior to other people because in fact, I am not actually superior to anyone - I'm most likely inferior due to my attitudes.
"I was born in the wrong generation. I wish I could've grown up listening to this. Everyone my age just listens to Micki Nimaj and Jackson Bibber!" (Why do people always wish they were born earlier because they like older music? It's not like if you were born in 2005 you have no way to listen to music from 1965.)
It’s so funny 😂 they call liberals snowflakes but they are literally the biggest of snowflakes. They’ve become the very thing they’ve fought to destroy 😂
Terrorists: "well congratulations, you got yourself caught. Now whats the next step of your master plan?" Jake Rivers: "Red-pilling these libs. WITH FACTS AND LOGIC"
It’s the fact that the girl we are introduced to 19 minutes in has pockets deep enough for her to even put her hands in. Took me right out of the story
Let’s not forget that she stood in a way that made her breasts stand out. You know. Like how all women purposely do whenever we’re talking a big strong man. Because that’s our priority. Not just standing in a comfortable position. Who does that?
Standing in a normal, comfortable position is for pajama soy boys. When I meet a woman I always instantly stand in a way to make my crotch stand out because freedom. 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
For somebody who's "not triggered by microaggression", the protagonist sure spends a lot of time whining about his classmates being liberals and saying funny internet words
this is more towards the author (or the type of person the author might be trying to imitate) but, I love the recursive mental acrobatics involved with someone getting triggered by the concept of triggering and not seeing the irony.
So....I left youtube running last night when I fell asleep. I woke up at 3 am to a deep dive into the vampire diaries from a youtuber I'd never seen before. I'm a 40 year old plumber. I have no interest in the vampire diaries. But damn if I didn't go back to bed instead staying up to watch not only your vampire diaries video....but many others. So cheers to one of the most random subscribes I've given and you might get. Keep being you.
I also found Jenny's channel after waking up extremely early in the morning to the Vampire Diaries video playing on RUclips. What a random and wonderful surprise! She is my new favorite content creator. ❤
I like how the one Middle Eastern character isn’t the main antagonist but still manages to confirm all of Jake’s biases by trying to weasel his way into some other dude’s terrorist operation.
I'm surprised there isn't a character that actually identifies as an Attack Helicopter given how the author's research seems to be solely reading 4chan memes.
@@ArkyThePig yeah it reads less like “a Redittor’s/4Chan users view on progressivism” and more like “a Fox News viewers view on progressivism.” Specifically the massive emphasis on “old fashioned values” and the fact that the main character is a veteran make me think this as those are two things I personally more associate with boomer conservatism than internet/millennial conservatism
The bit about Audie Murphy was very much needed. That whole obsession with young WW2 soldiers is super common amongst reactionaries complaining about how "fragile" today's youth is. Every soldier they point to as a "badass that doesn't need safespaces" developed PTSD, oftentimes to crippling levels like what happened to Murphy, and many would eventually become advocates for mental health awareness and veteran rights (which mind you, is very brave and noble, but reactionaries hate).
I feel like the whole "haha snowflake triggered" insult is used less by boomers here in the UK, and I sometimes wonder if it's as a result of a lot of them growing up around people who were children during WW2. "Billy saw a doodlebug flatten a house on his street when he was 14 and never slept through the night since" isn't as easy to glamorise as "Joey bravely fought on the front lines at just 16 years old".
A lot of those soldiers were scared little kids who didn't want to be there and did the bare minimum so they could go home. Many purposefully missed their enemies in a fight because they didn't want to kill.
He doesn't know this, or anything. He's been dead 16 years. Goodness knows who is inhabiting his dried out husk right now to write these (though they sure don't know nothing either).
TheFirstTime I’d google ‘4 Chan alt right’ if I were you. Hate speech there has spiked by 40% since 2015. They’ve been widely considered overrun with alt right and alt trolls for a while.
I want Natalie to come back in every horsedog sequel, and she gets swept up in whatever terrorist group Jake is confronting and ends up betraying him and getting shot and arrested. Inexplicably she’d be free again at the start of each book, obviously
Jake. An absolute unit. So big. I would get Jake tattooed on my arm, but I am afraid my weak liberal snowflake arms arent big enough to hold the sheer bigness of Jake.
“I took my maternal grandfathers last name.” Dude... just say you took your mom’s name. Oh Jake... this is why you didn’t have any friends. I know, you’re fictional and don’t exist - but strangely, you do. And you’re admiring your sword collection as we speak.
The determination to avoid having the fictional male character acknowledge that any part of him + his existence came from a woman is geniunely hilarious for how miserably resentful it is. A woman literally *made* the author and a fictional woman *made* the fictional character but God forbid we ever acknowledge that women play any part in the origin story of any man ever bc that would imply that a woman had anything worthwhile to contribute, unless what she contributes is dying or otherwise being Fridged for male development 🙄
Saying "I took my maternal grandfather's name" instead of "my mother's name" takes on an extra layer when you remember that this book was written by a woman writing under her uncle's name, rather than her own. I guess it could be considered an example of writing what you know?
This is a samurai sword of a high ranking Shogunate dating back all the way to Feudal Japan. Forged by master craftsmen, blacksmiths working with true Damascus steel. (Is made in China, bought at a flee market for 100 bucks)
@@ferrisbueller9991 I wonder how many times the steel was folded ... while it was Damascus steel, which ... did not have the impurities that folding is used to remove.
Anti-sjw writers: Liberals are so bad at writing, their books are so preachy with no sense of reality. Also anti-sjw writers: Write books like trigger warning.
When conservatives try to parody someone they go full haywire in an instant. They don’t even have an inch of subtetly. It’s just throwing every single buzzword they can think of in an instant to describe their SJW characters. It would be like if a progressive wrote a book about a guy living in a small town and everyone there is a clumpfooted conspiracy theorist hick.
My conclusion - Jake really needs glasses, but he's a old fashioned *man* who doesn't need something so pandering and weak as glasses...thus causing his problems recognizing basic hairstyles and clothing
Can’t use contacts. He’d never be able to pick them up with his large masculine rugged big manly fingers, that can caress a lady’s cheek as well as pull a trigger
PLEASE im recovering from knee surgery and i woke up from my meds wearing off and it’s hurting just oh so bad rn so while i wait for my meds to kick in i came to these comments to distract myself and this one sent me over the edge for some reason this is so funny im sobbing 😂😂😂
![[#2024MAMA] G-DRAGON - 무제(Untitled, 2014)+POWER+HOME SWEET HOME+뱅뱅뱅+FANTASTIC BABY | Mnet 241123 방송](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Ox29z5Nf1Uk/mqdefault.jpg)
Friendly reminder that Jakes needs an education
Jake is physically macro and macho but mentally he appears to be micro
Jakes rise up
@@mathieuleader8601 When phallic size imagery goes from being subtext to text.
chads? old news. jake are new things.
Maybe we need to start a GoFundMe campaign
The four body types in this book:
• Big
• Not Big
• Good Sized
• Woman
Not woman, petite (with a special note to large booba)
I feel like one of the female Social Justice Nerds was described as "purple haired and chunky" (as opposed to the one who used to be a cheerleader but now tragically had dreadlocks and NO MAKEUP). Which, to be fair, probably falls into the "Big" category.
XD there's more shapes than that?
This made me laugh.
Woman (chunky)
My favorite part is that he's not "coddled"like the other students, but also gets out of trouble for being the grandson of one of the school's major donors. Real underdog, this one.
@@kawaii33366 it doesn't give good representation to anyone
@@kawaii33366 In fairness, it's a university; I'm guessing no one with a lower than average income's going to be present, let alone properly portrayed, unless they're on a scholarship.
*EDIT:* This is a _massive_ sweeping generalisation on my part.
@@leongkinwai9709 many poor people go to universities.. what are you talking about? Most of my friends are struggling to get by, but all are university students.
@@lotus_dream I'm not sure; I just realised how massively sweeping that statement was and that I shouldn't have made it to begin with.
@@kawaii33366 Being called cis/cishet is an insult? How? They are just cis and straight. It's not like they're being called ugly and stupid.
When Jake was a lad, he ate four dozen eggs
Every morning to help him get large
And now that he's grown, he eats five dozen eggs
So he's roughly the size of a barge
This is too perfect! 😄
Jake also has high cholesterol. I wonder why.
No one's slick like Jake Riv
No one's big like Jake Riv
No one's *BLEEP*'s as incredibly thick like Jake Riv's .
For there's no man on campus half as manly.
Perfect, a pure patriot!
You can ask any Chad, Kyle or Karen.
And they'll tell you how much they want that bod.
No one's droll like Big Jake
No one's swole like Big Jake
No one fits his assigned gender role like Big Jake
"I'm especially fond of the patriarchy"
My what a guy that Big Jake!
@Carlos Adrián Aguirre so he's roughly the size of a brig?
He’s not a pampered rich kid, he’s just the grandson of a millionaire. Got it
Jake is the grandson of a millionaire who was paying for tuition of a military veteran-you know, a person who receives government subsidies for attending higher education. So, the author didn’t even need to have Jake enjoy the privilege of having a wealthy family member.
@@alexwyatt2911 Trust me, a veteran using the GI bill for their tuition is not the same as having a millionaire in the family lol. It helps a lot, but there are still plenty of fees it doesn't cover
It's amazing how sensitive privilege can be when it gets called out, kind of like how Gwyneth Paltrow went on a rant about the concept of "Nepo Babies", while she got her debut movie role in 'Hook' as young Wendy Darling because Steven Spielberg is LITERALLY HER GODFATHER (to clarify, this is not me accusing "all sides" - Gwyneth Paltrow might be 'liberal' but she's not a leftist, she's a capitalist)
@@magpieMOB you don’t have to apologize or backtrack anything. Call out whatever bad behavior you see even if it’s on “your side”
Honestly probably close to a billionaire given the description of his estate. Dude lives on a private golf course
Homie really wrote a book called trigger warning and gave his main character ptsd
Elaina Hall I know, it’s basically the embodiment of the phrase: it hurts itself in its confusion!!!
@@babyvia6712 *IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!*
It could've been a good book about the reasons that we have trigger warnings but nooooooooo
Its a homegirl!
@@Darkerxz she's just the co-author though so I'm assuming the first name on the cover is the person who had the main idea and most creative control
Hi my name is jake rivers and I have a big tall large big grandpa (that’s how I got my name). I have pale white skin. I’m also big, and I go to a trigger warning lib school school called Kelton in America. I’m big (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly camo. I love Bass Pro Shop and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a camo jacket with matching comfortable shorts, an inside-the-waist-band holster, knife and gun. I was walking outside Kelton College. A lot of antifa stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.
This is a masterpiece.
This sounds like the opening of a wattpad book
I'm not related to Ben Shapiro but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie.
Is this the beginning of My Immortal?
@@GummyDinosaursify This fic is called Big Immortal.
beginning of the book: protagonist has ptsd flashback
ending of the book: ptsd is fake actually
Don't be silly, everyone knows only *MANLY MEN* get PTSD from *the war,* and deal with it by being aloof badasses, which is very healthy
Now that's character growth. Turns out all you need to do to defeat PTSD is just dont. Dont have ptsd you goober
@johnmburt1960 "PTSD is only real for the troops!"
Okay what about this troop who has PTSD?
*fingers in ears* "lalalalala"
*Logic: 100*
beginning of the paragraph: I hate it when women are being mistreated.
end of the paragraph: but if a woman is assaulted in front of me I'm okay with that.
I love how the author seems to think of college students as a bunch of wimpy pansys but said students are just constantly starting fights through the book
I mean, that’s a fascist tactic. You make your enemy seem paradoxically both easily defeatable weaklings but also an immediate, dangerous threat.
From a narrative perspective it is comical
This is explained as a test of protagonist's abilites somehow arranged by the main antagonist in the scene read around minute 50, where anatagonist does sudden exposition of his evil plans.
@@iggykiddLike how they say Biden is an old senile man but also intricately planning to take everyone’s rights away.
It's not exactly contradictory. Antifa is a lot like an army of angry bigoted hypocritical kobolds.
My favorite part is that Jake says “My maternal grandfather’s name” and not just mother’s maiden name, you know like how normal people say it.
Well it's really important that everyone knows that he didn't change his name for a Woman
Maiden name sounds less MANLY and Jakes is a BIG MAN
If he said it that way, people might erroneously think he changed his name for his mother instead of his grandpa, and we can't have THAT.
@@smileitsjustagame2937 yeah had to throw "father" in there otherwise he'd feel too womanly ...all those hormones in our food and environment making men pansies and girly and such
My maternal grandfather's last name and my mother's maiden name are different.
There are two genders:
Big
Good size
I am the snowflake non-binary gender of Smol lol
I am the non-binary snowflake gender of Smol lol
@@rhysgrammling4531 it's incredibly reckless of you to assume Smol isn't a good size
I'm just dog.
lol
This book feels like those "and then the entire bus clapped" but its geared towards facebook elderly conservatives
LMAOO that’s so fucking true
Perfect analysis 100% perfect you get a pizza
@@pauldee1577 $100%
and it's several thousand times longer
sorry, *bigger
Not just elderly, unfortunately. Elderly ones don't know what half this book is talking about.
The sad thing is that this will never be a movie. No one in Hollywood could be as big as Jake Rivers
The could stack two weight lifters together like legos. Might be big enough with some cgi, the book doesnt mention four arms though.
@@jlrinc1420 tfw you realize Jake rivers is just goro from mortal kombat
@@jlrinc1420two bodybuilders in a trenchcoat
this made me laugh so hard i choked on my own spit. there aren't many things in life that bring me that much mirth
trigger warning adaptation with every huge musclebro in hollywood playing jake. every time the camera angle changes its a different dude. vin diesel, the rock, john cena, momoa.
fuck it, make kumail nanjiani the Final Jake
“I took the name of my maternal grandfather” is about the rudest way possible to say he took his mothers name
Yeah I found that so odd. Why couldn’t he just say he took his mother’s maiden name? Too unmanly for him? How sad and pathetic
Doesn't that mean he took his grandfather's name from his mother's side of the family? Like, his mom's dad. If it were "paternal grandfather" it would be his dad's dad.
@@flyingfox3296 it also means he took his mother’s maiden name. And she was divorced, so it was just her name. He took his mother’s name. But that would be girly of him. So instead he said maternal grandfather. Because man.
@@erinbailey7940 nothing more badass and masculine than disrespecting your mom 😎
Jake's surname is too big for a little lady
He's not "coddled" but his rich grandpa fixes everything for him.
unlike his fellow students, Jake's not spoiled, his grandfather just handles all his problems for him with his wallet
this book seems like a parody
he also says he doesn't get triggered, but literally has PTSD flashbacks and definitely needs to be in therapy
Na this is a serious work of art, an homage to 'Threat Level Midnight'...
this! 😀
The only reason this book is not adapt into movie is because theres no actor that big enough to play Jake
heard they contacted Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson, but they did not wanted adaptation to be tainted by an actor from a snowflake country filled with triggered government.
@@Koooles actually, they casted him and Dwayne Johnson to play Jake. Bjornsson wouldve been the top half with the rock sitting on his shoulders. They had to make a custom trench coat to fit them but it worked
@@bigdadybojangls9219 hahaha! Literally made me lol
Only Andre the Giant could compare to the stallion of a man that Jake is, & he has now left the mortal coil
Yeah, but Dwayne Johnston is partially Samoan and John is a white MAN. And that just won’t DO for “big man Jake”.
Nothing I can write will ever beat my favourite line of this:
"I was just trying to help a woman."
"Toxic! Toxic! Racist!"
It happens dude. Police recently stopped a black woman from drowning her own baby in the bathtub and the whole black community was angry at the police lol.
Almost as if it is a black persons right to drown their own children or something...
It's so heightened and absurd I actually burst out laughing. it's priceless.
@@BumboLooksyeah. Like in _______ and also _______. Oooh don't forget when it happened on _____ too 😂
@@BumboLooksthat is so true. I made my mum coffee and she called me a toxic racist, doxxed me, broke my legs, and locked me in the attic. I've been trapped here for a week now and nobody will help because I've been cancelled.
@@kwarra-an Your comment is nothing but meaningless hyperbole...
Here's something that would actually happen, ( this did actually happen to me ).
You're at university. It's your first day so you don't know your way around the campus. You unknowingly walk into the women's graduate club. It is a floor dedicated as a women's only area.
You see a student accidentally drop ten or so big books. You start picking them up. She tells you to
"stop touching my shit"
and says
"get the fuck out of here, This is a sexism free zone"
without explanation.
The dude, a trained soldier, gets triggered into some PTSD episodes just from looking at a different shade of skin but students being traumatized by an armed hostage situation are below him.
Yeah you know it's real unfortunate how the author accidentally demonstrates how toxic masculinity prevents people who need help from actually seeking it and regarding others who struggle as lowly.
@@discospider4120 is this unfortunate, though? This may enter tinfoil hat territory, but if I wanted to make conservative readers think about the complexity of something like PTSD, I might try a subversive approach where I appear to play into their prejudices at first.
Edit: maybe the reference to Audie Murphy was deliberate.
I think the author was talking about the color of their clothes
@@lukasthedark8478 ummm maybe in the first fight scene... But he tensed up looking at the middle eastern dude not only due to racial prejudice, but also possibly because all the enemy combatants when he was overseas were of Middle Eastern heritage... So.... The color of someone's skin definitely affects how Jake sees them
@@FIRING_BLIND I was only thinking of the first scene, I didn’t really have time to watch the rest, if that’s the case then you’re right
Random note: he went out of his way to say he took his mom's dad's last name instead of just saying he took his mom's name...
Haha . . . hwut?!?
His mom clearly isn't worth respect, but Dog "Just Dog" Dog absolutely is, because he's a
big
man.
Mom not big man, Jake no like no big mans.
Call me crazy, but I don't think this author has a lot of respect for women.
Or a strong command of the English language.
This whole book has the same energy as my 10-year-old brother insisting he'd stay stone-cold during those action film torture scenes if it were him instead of the hero
Finally a description for this book that fully describes it.
This,,.this is actually, like, extremely accurate omg lol
laughing so fucking hard, i haven't even watched the video yet but this description is so funny / edit: have now, jesus christ this is apt lol
“They pulled my skin off. I just shrugged and asked for a cigarette”
Pretty sure even people who DO resist torture usually don't stay stone-cold throughout it (and even if they do, the "stone cold" could be catatonia or some other brain condition and not really what it appears to be - that or the torture being done in such a way it allows very little avenue for reaction and creating what is effectively a "living death" and the closest IRL thing you could possibly imagine to an evil witch turning you into a doll or other inanimate object, which, yes, is a thing that happens, perhaps especially when the torture is done in an abusive facility in the name of "improving behavior", like the troubled teen industry or Judge Rotenberg Center).
how is jake able to get a masters in biology without 1. already having a bachelors and 2. specializing in any specific branch of biology
He is specializing... In MACRObiology
It’s almost as if the authors don’t know how higher education works.
„Yeah you just visit random courses, probably ‚male privilege history’ or whatever the libs are forcing down our children’s throats, and if you are good you get a masters“
His masters comes from screaming the phrase “biological sex” while have zero idea what it means or how it functions other then owning Trans people
(Because he’s so big)
His brain is strong and big.
Book description: "This is a book about a hero who doesn't get TRIGGERED like all the LEFTIST SNOWFLAKES!!!"
Literally the first paragraph: Hero gets so upset by a book that he feels the urge to throw it against a wall.
This is the funniest example of conservative cognitive dissonance I've ever seen
@@oswald7716 IKR? I mean I see shit like that every day on the internet, but it's still hilarious to see it in a legit publication.
It's funny how conservatives think you're a worthless snowflake if you express your emotions through words or demands for better legislation, but you're a total badass if you express your emotions by screaming, breaking things, and hitting people.
Kinda sounds more like the difference between adults and children.
I mean he also then experiences a PTSD flashback which is literally where the term "trigger" comes from, and is a major reason why trigger warnings exist sooooo
@@brendaningram4362 "a PTSD flashback which is literally where the term "trigger" comes from" I'm sorry? EDIT: OH! Never mind, I misread your comment. Derp.
I don't consider it a good day unless at least two strangers have approached me to monologue about how cool I am.
Ha! Good one! Your wit is only surpassed by your charm and overall bigness. You're the kind of person who knows what makes a good day and what just isn't gonna cut it, and you don't have time for time wasters who fool around when they should be focusing on making the day good, great even, as you make every day to everyone you meet.
Your flawless vocabulary and stylish wit set you apart from others in this world
[looks at profile picture] Dog. Just Dog.
Do you get good days often?
@@keegster7167 Have you seen my profile picture? Every day is a good day.
I can't believe I'm self conscious about maybe publishing my own writing when books like this exist.
You could shit on a new page every day for a year and it would be a more compelling read, go for it boss
@@depecher6s311 I don't know... I'm laughing rn atleast
It's because you compare your writing to your own standards. Which are probably much higher than the standards of the people who would read this book willingly. So ay least your writing will turn out better when and if you do publish it.
If i could like this 2x
Anyone can be a "published author", literally anyone, you should publish it, that's the easiest step, if you don't you'll lose the experience of having your work out there
it's so funny to me that the only thing that happened between Natalie and Jake is her endlessly complimenting him and agreeing with his worldview, and by the end of the book he's madly in love with her and forgives her for helping to take a school hostage and committing acts of terrorism. Apparently the only thing Jake wants in a woman is compliance and an ego boost and he's in love
To be fair, it seems more likely that the author just didn't put that much thought into the romantic subplot. But your version is pretty funny.
I meannnnnnnn, I imagine that'll get most men going
Sounds like most of my dates tbh (I’m a gay male)
I would have really enjoyed omniscient narrator referencing everything to just how big it is in comparison to Jake.
"Jake entered the Math building, which was at least 15 Good-sized Jakes stacked on top of each other."
Luke Manning I’m snorting
Best Comment Ever.
Someone should make a second draft
I'm assuming this university is in the US, so using anything other than metric to measure size seems wholly correct. "This clearly beta male was roughly about 0.63 Jakes in stature - he would be no problem for Jakes even on a bad day, which was any day that included reading."
Make Jake the new Kropog measuring system lol
The most unrealistic part of this book is how he's supposedly a veteran but both his knees work and he doesn't have back pain
Also missing is 2 ex wives and a drinking problem funnily enough not caused by combat
Motrin yo
That's honestly tragic. This country does not treat it's armed forces or vets with the care and respect they deserve.
I came out of my service a big ol' gay non-binary commie and even I came out with back pain and mental issues. Also, I can't fold laundry like a normal human and certain pitches of alarms and beeps make me taste metal.
An unrealistic part is that he's come out of the military with any level of patriotism for his country, which the book claims that he has.
The mental image of a girl calling him a fascist and somehow summoning a mob to beat him into the ground is so iconic
@@gregoryford2532 both of yall's comments have me losing it lmao
@@AlecNormal fr oh my gaaabbbe I was thinking this and then the second comment made it better 😹
The next step of cancel culture is manifesting it into irl space hence the liberal foot clan appearing. You see it takes a very high IQ to interpret the events of this book and
it really happened i was the mob
@@lettuce674 it's true i was with lettuce
I’m not finished yet, but I’m really struggling to get into this “Dog” character without knowing if he’s big or not.
imagine how much depth it'd show in Jake's character if Dog was the size of Peter Dinklage
"It's not the size of the Dog in the fight..."
"It doesn't even have a first name, it just says "Dog!""
Setting it up for the sequel where Dog turns bad and Jakes immediately surrenders bc Dog is 2 inches taller than him - and size really does matter. But then he grabs a chainsaw outta nowhere and attacks Dog's knee 'cutting him down to size' but then Jakes spares his life bc now he is 'the bigger man'
For a bunch of "snowflakes", the people on Jake's campus are surprisingly eager to jump into violence at the drop of a hat
Just lost it every time Dog was mentioned
I still think the best part was that after saving his fellow college student, random antifa-esque agents just kind of rush him with chains and pipes immediately. I know it was a "corrdinated strike" on a dangerous big boy, but in the moment that was golden.
Yeah they really are fragile, jumping at the brave MAGA man's throat.....
@@rezalustig6773 Ah yes. Good ol' 1984 coming in clutch.
@@lavenderscare4995 The antifa ninjas are the best part of this book.
Jake: A warrior, but also a PHILOSOPHER
Also Jake: It might be racist, but I tense up when I see Middle Eastern people
Johnny Rohlf middle eastern person: *exists*
Jake: IM TRIGGERED
Jake: Unlike you snowflakes, I don't get "triggered"
*sees brown person*
Jake: *T R I G G E R E D*
Jake: I might be racist
Whoever was listening to him: ...but?
Jake: But what? That's it
He jokes about people getting constantly triggered while he himself exhibits typical PTSD symptoms
@HolyBird007 Yeah, rewatching this (yet again) that occurred to me (actually for the first time, whoops).
Jake gets flashbacks, and doesn't feel safe without having weapons/access to weapons. You could interpret the "Jake is uncomfortable when he sees a Middle Eastern person" thing as his untreated PTSD (because we never see him go to therapy/a support group) turning this into some kind of racist phobia, where he's fixated on Arab or Middle Eastern PoC so much due to his experience with them overseas/in the battlefield that that's 100% what he associates them with (enabled by racial attitudes he learned from American culture, which his time in military service really drilled in extra-hard?). He's still a dick, obviously, but it kind of exposes how (at least for this author/their fans) the role of the ideal, masculine man is actually a deeply damaged/unstable person.
Did the author really introduce a female character with essentially, she stood there boobily....
"Boobily" is my new favorite word.
“With much boobage”
"She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards."
He clearly appreciates a woman with big smarts
It works with male characters, too.
Just coming back to this video again to be reminded of and comforted by how big Jake is. Just so big.
It isn't his height, it's his genitalia you see......
Be careful he won't accidentally snap your neck while he comforts you though!
At this point, I can only picture him as an actual giant. Like, 10 feet tall, minimum.
@@alexjewett7455 Genetically engineering super-soldier during the cold war.
@@BumboLooks I was thinking more in the fantasy sense, but that works, too.
“Trigger Warning” but every time Jake’s “bigness” is mentioned he grows in size
he would have been able to wear dorm buildings as shoes by the end of the book
Book is called “Trigger Warning.” Author gets Triggered everytime SJW’s are mentioned.
this comment knocked me out like Jake's BIG fist
"Bigger Warning"
he a big b O I
"William authored 400+ books."
"And William is also dead."
"And the real person who wrote this book was a woman pretending to be a man."
*the backstory of this book is even better than the book itself*
Johnstone's actual history is better. He apparently got kicked out of the French Foreign Legion and the joined the circus before becoming a Radio Host and then a Sheriff.
THEN an author.
HUH
@@ShadowSonic2 Jesus, aren't the Foreign Legion supposed to be the people that take anyone? Like...fucking anyone, to the point that they're a common choice for people on the run from some country's police and most are deployed without learning how to shoot properly? From the stories I've heard from people in the Legion, that sounds like it would Have to be really hard. Like...there are people in there now who have been beaten by their superiors to the point that they needed to stay in a hospital for six months, and multiple people that threatened to kill that superior if he didn't stop the beating that also all kept their job. It's hard to imagine what's over that particular line.
My hunch is that long ago, perhaps sometime in the 1990s, William Johnstone became a house author; a pen name used by a bunch of writers coordinated by J.A. Johnstone. This was a pretty common thing back in the day: "Franklin Dixon" (Hardy Boys) is a good example. This would also help explain some of the genre-switching and the like. I don't find 200 novels (the number published before or soon after his death) in about 20 years to be a particularly plausible output level for one or two people.
@@BartMassey-PO8 Agreed; it's definitely a name employed by multiple ghost writers. A minimum of 330 books in sixteen years (fuck, even thirty years) is a completely ridiculous level of output from a single human being. It would easily make her the single most prolific fiction author in human history. L Ron Hubbard ranks pretty high on that particular list and he only ever managed to write something like 500,000 words in his entire career, something he achieved by publishing in pulp magazines in an era where literally never reading back (much less editing) anything because no one would care in a month was a viable strategy. Like...this is bad, but even this isn't even close to the standard of writing you'd expect from a novel written in its entirety in a couple of days.
"These kids won't get over being in a shooting, not like me, who isn't traumatized from being shot at and doesn't have flashbacks ever."
"The gunman was white, fairly young and average looking. Nothing about him screamed mass shooter" is the funniest line I've ever heard. Coming from a white, fairly young and average looking man.
Ikr white fairly young average looking men are the first person to come up when searching mass shooter.
all of the mass shooters I can think of are average looking white men 😂 the hypocrisy
gotta use that line in a comedy sometime lol
that bit is such a weird bit of irony. "William" clearly thinks the average shooter is a Muslim Arab, but for some reason decides to go against those biases and opt for something more creative, and in doing so stumbles bass-ackwards into what most shooters are actually like. it hurts my brain to think about
I can only hear that line in a standup comedian voice
Jakes be like "oh antifa is a dangerous terorrist organization, but they're also a bunch of snowflakes with brightly colored hair, but they're also an organized team of ninjas wielding improvized weapons, but theyre also a bunch of soyboys"
The fascist dilemma. The enemy must be strong enough to threaten us with annihilation but also very weak because we are the greatest people that ever was!
@@HeloisGevit The enemy must be devious and intimidating to justify us "retaliating" with extreme violence and also to make us look better when we "win".
antifa are mostly a bunch of drug addicts and bougie rich kids that never get arrested for the shit they pull
@@dudeidontcare3430 ok. You can get back on /pol/ now.
@@maxlap7855 pol boogie man
Book Author: "Huehuehue r u triggered1?!??!"
Main character: *literally has a PTSD flashback within the first few pages of the book because of antifa*
Yeah, amazingly he literally got triggered
It's like the author has literally no idea what "triggered" (or any of the other "libtard" phrases he uses) actually mean, and just got it down the grapevine from people mocking libruls.
@@timothymclean I'm like 99.9% certain that this entire book was written by his niece.
There's no way you can convince me that army vet and former sheriff William Johnstone had a draft manuscript of this written in the 80's/90's, before he stopped writing those cowboy and horror books and died, when the book has references to "intersectional feminism", and the term wasn't theorised until 1989 by Kimberle Crenshaw and hasn't come into common parlance as a critical framework since not even the last 5 years :')
@@timothymclean She. Did anyone watch the whole video?
@@wildheartmustang I don't even think Jenny really believes that. It was simply the most charitable theory about the co-author subterfuge. Jo is clearly writing her own crappy fiction now. Good God, that book sounds so cringey!
The giant porg behind you is probably regular sized to jake. I don’t think he’d even be able to see actual porgs, they’d be microscopic to him
*B I G*
I think you mean they'd be microaggression to him.
I don't know if Jenny has already named the big boy, but from now on I vote we call him Jake the Porg
The actual reason nobody likes Jake is because he's so *B I G* that gazing upon him invokes eldritch horror. We are ants beneath his *M A N* feet.
@@johnathonharker266 whoa dude, nice Lovecraftian twist you took us on
The funniest part was the implication that sneeze loudness is corelated to nose size
Jakes big nose bigly sneezed like a big gust of big wind
Wouldn’t it be the other way around? Like a small nose would build more pressure?
I wonder if Jake's nose is as big as Doc Motumbo's. If Jake says your nose is big does that mean it's even bigger than his or, since Jake IS big, any nose that's the same size as his is a big nose.
@@NotTheAntichrist I believe we are to understand that Jake, while very big, has a nose that is proportionately average-size relative to the rest of his face, so while relative to each other, his nose may be as big or even bigger than Motumbo's, it is not a thing worthy of ridicule, according to the author. Having a nose that is oversized relative to your face is apparently something that Motumbo should have trained for, and is a sign of his lack of conviction to being manly
@@iggykidd I think it's a metaphor. He nose too much.
I'm so glad you brought up Audie Murphy's struggle with PTSD. He's one of the main reasons why PTSD got destigmatized in the US. Usually when soldiers suffered from it, they were seen as cowards. But it's a bit hard to call a man as beloved and decorated as Audie Murphy a coward, so when he started getting very public with his PTSD, it helped a lot of people see the disease in a new light.
The sheer audacity for the author to bring him up and praise him without mentioning his PTSD in a book sarcastically called "trigger warning" tho...
It’d actually be a cool idea, if “Trigger Warning” started off as a right-wing power fantasy but challenged the stigma against people who are sensitive to triggers and subverted the stereotypes associated with “special snowflakes” by referencing real people and utilizing characters that are paragons of manliness but open about their vulnerabilities.
But I guess there’s no room for nuance when you’ve got a protagonist as B I G as Jake.
I didn't know that about Audie Murphy! :D That's really awesome! ^_^
@@TheMouseAvenger I couldn't help but read it as if you're saying that's great the Audie Murphy had PTSD. I know you didn't though and it made me laugh.
@@swimmyswim417 That actually sounds really cool, I would totally read that
Conservatives are often so blind to irony...
I love how "looking down on your peers" is played off like a positive trait.
How else is everyone supposed to know that the mc is better than what the author considers mainstream?
you obviously don't live in the South with the irredeemable white.
@@Gee-xb7rt yeah, that wasn't a racist statement at all...
@@Gee-xb7rt i don't argue with racists. bye.
@floppydisk how would you react to someone saying "irredeemably black" or "irredeemably mexican"?
It's honestly shocking to me that the conflict wasn't resolved by Jake shooting the main bad guy and saying, "I guess you could say I'm... *triggered* " before firing the gun.
that would’ve been the book’s only redeeming quality
YESSSS OMG
thats amazing, but would've been way too self aware for the author
Ooooooooooooohhhh, if only!!!!
Or saying something like “well, I warned you - click”
I work in a library and whenever someone checks out one of these books I always have to refrain from being like DID YOU KNOW HE'S DEAD AND HIS NIECE WRITES THESE (I have told all my coworkers though)
SAME
She can't write.
SAME
Whhhaaattt
Why not tell them? Many readers like author trivia like this
Watching this for a second time because Jake is too big for just one viewing.
NerdSync inb4 someone adapts this into a comic.
Big as a horse!
Cool to see on left tube. Did you see philosophy tubes video on the housing crisis?
My headcanon is that Jake is 12 feet tall and wide enough that he has to squeeze through the average doorway
Nope. Two minutes shy.
"You're not just some run of the mill student."
Oh, so Jake's a special snowflake
Much better than a run of the mill snowflake like all those other students.
Ow... the irony is actually causing me physical pain...ow....
He's not like other girls
That first scene with the violent mob is such a beautiful, absurd representation of what conservatives think "cancel culture" is: An innocent white man with traditional values gets called a fascist for no reason and then anonymous attackers swarm him while onlookers cheer for his demise. When you have never faced real oppression and discrimination in your life, I imagine this is how dramatic it feels when strangers call you out on Twitter for using a slur.
it's wild how badly they want to be oppressed lmao
and acting as if conservative men stand up for women, while liberal women are the ones defending their abusers is just mind-boggling.
Fr tho. Like, my brother in Christ. You can't get angry at people calling you a fascist if whenever there's a "Unite The Right" rally your ideological allies bring out torches and yell "Jews will not replace us!". The last time I saw that many Nazi flags I was playing Wolfenstein.
that scene sounds exactly like this meme post from tumblr called the down with cis bus and it makes me giggle that this author genuinely wrote that whole exchange
It's extra ironic that he also complains about leftists being pacifist wimps who won't "embrace violence". Amazing how Jake is the perfect level of violent while all leftists are simultaneously too violent and not violent enough.
I just realized that Jake says he took "his maternal grandfather's name" as opposed to his mother's, because that would not be macho enough.
Soooo...my mother's maiden name. Perfect
Jesus Christ you’re right
Wow I didn't even realize that because I haven't been thinking much about the logistics of this book but you're right. God masculinity is so fragile 😭
@TooLateToTheStory yup I realized that but my comment still stands because of the fragile masculinity if the readers.
@@TheAutomaton37 I was just about to say that technically maternal grandfather was the correct way to say it, but nope, mother's maiden name is actually the correct nomenclature.
This book sounds like the author's entire understanding of what colleges are like, and what liberalism is, came from watching one Ben Shapiro video
Learning about her biography at the end, I think it's not even so bad that the author might hold this view but she's writing for an audience who do
I.e A high school where you supposedly get bullied for existing as a white man and helping a woman when she's being assaulted. Also, antifa super soldiers.
I noticed that when I started going to college, I started to lean way more left, not because of the teachers trying to drill it into me or anything, but just because it makes everyone's day easier. Pretty much everyone's there to get their classes done, to transfer or get a degree, and thinking that maybe "fellow gays aren't bad" or "women are as good as men" helps everybody out way more than being 'that guy' and stopping to go on a weird conservative tangent or trying to trick the teacher into some Shapiro "gotcha" trap.
The point is, Conservatives who constantly whine about being bullied or "persecuted" for their beliefs on campus either don't actually go to college, or genuinely perceive classmates expressing annoyance at their bigoted opinions as "bullying".
Truly, the totally-not-snowflakiest political group is unflappable.
Ben Shapiro wrote an equally horrific book too
@@davidk7439 As someone who used to be like that back in early undergrad, you really hit the nail on the head.
Wasn't fun, being that one nag who was like "but ACKSHUALLY". Got out of that phase by around 2016-2017.
@@elizabethbennet4791 Robert Evans does some great dramatic readings of it on his podcast Behind the Bastards. Benny has a weird preoccupation with stating the exact heights of every character.
What's most offensive to me about this book is that the author didn't realize emergency exit signs are independently powered so they don't go out if there's a power outage... Because they're emergency lights....... If they go out during an emergency, it kinda defeats the purpose...
You read it?
Huh, I never thought about that but of course it makes sense.
@@kimberlybridges8591 exactly my thought but I honestly would probably miss that detail writing this book, the author's ideas seemed at least to me plugged wayy too hard wayy to often as if the author was scared nobody would understand his ideology or what theme he's trying to convey.
I had this same thought lol, this book is so hilariously unrealistic
@@fuckamericanidiot You know grammar?
it's extremely easy to realize that this entire book is just some sort of power fantasy for the author, it's literally like the adult equivalent of a little kid drawing a buff guy labeled "me (cool)" next to an angry stick figure labeled "timmy (is stinky and stole my red crayon)"
"me" (big)
While that might be an easy assumption to make, I don’t think you watched this video to the end.
The author is a woman.
@@reaganrambles1951actually I can't find it anymore but there was a comment on here from a trans man saying they kept thinking this book read like a closeted trans man's power fantasy throughout the video, only to be surprised by the end of the video. Make that what you will.
vouch-- everything about this from the bigness to the defensive masculinity to way natalie is described in her character introduction to the way jake talks about taking his own name from a male relative screams repressed conservative middle aged trans man@@atomheartother
edit: dghldkgdjf also how similar 'jake' is to JA's name and the extremely tersely maintained lack of pronouns in the author bio
I can't believe the *first* paragraph is "phone bad book good"
Not just "Phone bad book good" but "Phone bad book good, because I can be violent with book"
@@nunyabizness6553 Also ebooks are cheaper?? If Jakes is so mad about the price of his textbooks, he should get a nook
@@nunyabizness6553 clearly the protagonist hasn't had a nokia phone
It needed to establish that Jake was big enough to Yeet a textbook across the room
Caitlin Jo Pepe Jake I cannot click the book
Is it just me or is Jakes Not Like Other Girls
Sounds quirky. 🤔😁
Nia Jakes isn't. Wait, that's Nia Jax. Carry on.
Hi, my name is Jake Dark’ness Dimentia Raven Way
i mean most girls think antifa is good. but like, shouldn’t everyone?
yeah because he’s a BIG MAN
Jake: unlike you sjws I am not easily triggered.
Also Jake: literally gets triggered within the first chapter. Tenses up whenever he sees a middle-eastern person
Jake is already triggered in the first sentence by the book he was reading lol
No, that's antifa who shows up. I don't get why people don't criticize the stupid implication that a roving black block of people just constantly patrols this college attacking those that oppose them. Instead of saying they're "ninjas" or "Muslims".
*_grrr man bun_*
Jakes a SnOwFlAkE
@@MrMike855 Oo scary antifa ninjas. Sure.
I love how Chief McRainey is like “ugh here come the feds, they’re going to try to take all the glory from us local cops and take over the whole investigation” when he’s literally the campus police. That’s like a bombing happening at a strip mall and the mall cop being upset that a SWAT team showed up.
Isn't that the plot of Paul Blart
having once worked in proximity to campus police, that is pretty true to how they actually see themselves
This entire book reads like the "christian soldier destroys atheist professor" copypasta
and that soldier's name? Albert Einstein
God's Not Dead 3: Big Jakes' Revenge
@@KB-zq9ny Oh, no, you aren't getting out of this that easily. You can't just decide someone isn't Christian because it's convenient for you to not be associated with them. Every heard of the No True Scotsman fallacy?
@@KB-zq9ny A Christian is literally someone who follows the religion Christianity, don't try to be pulling this bullshit where Christian just means "person who is good" because literally no one uses the word that way except for you and other apologists.
Let's just agree to disagree.
“The gunman was white, fairly young, and average looking. Nothing about him shouted mass shooter”
I like the irony of this description coming right after the single named "middle eastern looking guy" in the book is explicitly labeled to cause discomfort to the protagonist simply because he is middle eastern looking. Peak literature right here lmao
Honestly, someone who was at war in the middle east, I wouldn't be entirely surprised if he was a little uncomfortable around somene who was middle eastern. And a character who is trying to work through biases caused by war would be interesting. Although the one (named) middle eastern character selling out his friend and aligning himself with the villan is, yikes.
"Nothing about him shouted mass shooter" Describes most mass shooters in american history.
@@TehLB I'm now imagining a universe where all mass shooters are wearing Immortan Joe masks and a t-shirt saying, "I am a mass shooter" wherever they go.
when the book just casually makes sure you know the "evil SJW" professor has a very large nose
Oh no
Good to know the author is an antisemite
@@pianoaddict772 bad character traits tend to all come together. If one hates other races and homosexuals, is it really that far for them to start hating women and jewish people too?
*whistling* come here, boy! Good dog!
🤔🤔🤔
6:03 Gotta respect how the author asked herself what kind of character her target audience would find appealing, and came up with a guy that takes two to five minutes to decipher visual information and 0.03 seconds to formulate assumptions
"It's my first day at Liberal High...And- I don't think I fit in." He said as he pulled up his mask just below his nose.
Fantastic
This comment right here is brilliant
Perfection!
thanks i hate it
*Thin Blue Line Baby Yoda mask with Punisher skull that his mom made him wear so he doesn't get 5G poisoning
The best part for me was when Jake laughed at the "snowflakes" having PTSD from the shooting, while clearly having PTSD himself from the war (My guess is the author doesn't know "shell shock" is actually PTSD)
Let me clear this up for you being shell shocked is actually a myth it was actually a tactic used by the left to create a new type of effeminate man and cut them out of work force in order to increase the amount of women in the work force. They used it so the females could dominate the men it truly is tragic.
@@thesigmamale2134 “it truly is tragic”, oh stfu, and go outside. Women aren’t dominated males in anything. And “effeminate man”, again just stfu. You’re so focused on enforcing the idea of masculinity onto every man, just mind ur business and stfu. What’s wrong with femininity? Are you implying it’s weak? I would engage in a rational debate but honestly you’re so far gone
@@TaraCarmelina I do go outside every day I expose myself to the true horrors of this world I'm the modern day napoleon my campaigns are dangerous and righteous. If you truly think that there isn't a movement for women to dominate men you clearly haven't been paying attention.
I am indeed saying femininity is weak should be stomped out of every man as soon as even a hint of it is discovered.
You couldn't even engage in a rational debate you are so scared of your twisted worldview crumbling you would do anything to keep it up even if you have to fill the cracks and holes with lies you simply dont care but I must warn you my friend that house will come crashing down one day and no lies could possibly rebuild the house.
@@thesigmamale2134
I genuinely cannot tell if you're being sincere. Your username combined with the dumb shit you're saying looks like a parody I would write.
@@thesigmamale2134 If you're going to tell me things, and not use evidence, then you should at least try to make what you say make sense
"Since we heard about her breasts, I assume that was flirting." I feel like that could be the title of a dissertation.
I googled “pajama boys insult” for you, and it refers to a character in a 2013 infomercial promoting Obamacare. It’s obscure af, and its use has convinced me that this book is not actually satire. Conservatives really think this way, god help us.
@@chestercopperpot777 long rant for someone busy taking care of their family and working 10 hour days.👍🏼
@@chestercopperpot777😂where are you getting that chimps type 2 words per minute with…sticks?
You’ve seriously been crying all over this video. THIS is your 10 hour work day.
If you’re saying that that rant or any of your other rants took you a minute to type, you’re a liar.
Lying is a sin.
Go repent.
Whoa. That's what pajama boy is
Pretty sure it's actually an Islanders fan taking a shot at John Tavares.
Is this whole comment section just generalizations
Being tasered: Sentence long, intense, vivid description
Protagonist: big
I'm not saying that Professor Mtumbo has the physical description of an antisemitic caricature, but Professor Mtumbo has the physical description of an antisemitic caricature.
Huh, I just kept picturing him as a male Jenny given her reaction to his description.
An antisemitic caricature with an incredibly WASPy upper-class birth name and background. It's like those old American political cartoons from the 19th century that portray the Pope as a Jewish stereotype to make him scarier.
Sam Aronow Jewish Pope? Now I’m all confused...
Henry Hammond So was the cartoonist.
Also his name implies he's corrupt, lacks vision, not self aware, short sighted in thought, etc. in East Africa. It's a name used to imply something since it means intestines which is a callback to gluttony
This is a good novel, touching on all the important issues. My only criticism is that Jake the protagonist could have been bigger. You know, for realism.
classic submarine guy literally lol good job.
I would say they should basically make Jake King Kong but then I remember King Kong was black.
Look for Trigger Warning 2: The Embiggening in 2019
William W. Johnstone and the Absolute Size of this Lad
I'm still trying to get over the shock of finding an actual published work that's anti-SJW cringe in current year.
You gotta appreciate the author's backstory. I've never seen a conservative so careful with pronouns before.
When conservatives ssy "i dont have pronouns" theyre usually just stupid. But Joe Johnstone goddamn means it
I’m deceased 😂
@@alexwyatt2911 just like the author
@@bfish89ryuhayabusa Is she deceased? I know her father is.
@@alexwyatt2911 William, the primary credited author is. It's being marketed as his book, completed by his niece, despite that being clearly not the case.
Because the professor's relationship with him is already sexually power-imbalanced AF, and the way she adores old fashioned men and hates her own SJW students, and clearly craves a man as elderly as the author was, I'm just gonna go ahead and assume Natalie is like 65-70 years old. It makes the story a lot more fun.
she wanted a BIG man, not those soyboys with delicate hands
We can just pretend she was the love interest from that Mystery Science Theater 3000 movie, Space Mutiny. A woman in her fifties that dyed her hair, still looks old, and thinks she's perfectly able to date the twenty something lead and nobody will notice!
trigger warning said cougar rights
Noah Ariss interestingly enough the leading lady in space mutiny was married to the male lead in real life. And is also not older than him lol. I looked it up after seeing that movie featured on many bad B movie reviews
@@JackedThor-so The "twenty something lead"? Hopefully you mean BLAST HARDCHEESE!
The irony of the book title being called "Trigger Warning" as a way to mock something used to prevent panic attacks and traumatic flashbacks and Jake suffering from PTSD and being triggered into traumatic flashbacks
Exactly.
It’s actually used to mock people who get “offended over nothing”. A lot of conservatives specifically made fun of this phenomenon a few years ago where people got “triggered” over social justice issues etc. The term now is outdated however, since people now use trigger warnings accordingly.
@@xxxmaysilssss690 no triggered just got hijacked by antisjws for a little while it doesnt exist to mock
@@xxxmaysilssss690 triggered literally comes from psychology And therapy and has been used in a legitimate way long before it was morphed into whatever it became in the past 10 years
@@s92dx exactly
Jake woke up to the rays of the sun streaming through the slats on his blinds, cascading over his big chest. He stretched, his bigness lifting with his arms as he greeted the sun. He rolled out of the bed and put on a shirt, his bigness prominently showing through the thin fabric. He bigged bigly to the stairs, and firmed downwards
Hey, I thought I was the only one who watched the director’s cut!
The fact that I know word-for-word what this was referencing...
@@Zephirite. Context? 👁👁
@@SpookyySpaghetti it’s a tumblr post that’s like
Male writers writing female characters:
"Cassandra woke up to the rays of the sun streaming through the slats on her blinds, cascading over her naked chest. She stretched, her breasts lifting with her arms as she greeted the sun. She rolled out of bed and put on a shirt, her nipples prominently showing through the thin fabric. She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards."
@@SpookyySpaghetti the she breasted boobily down the stairs post
absolutely insane to me that this writer touted an incredibly traumatized war veteran who wrote poetry and advocated for ptsd and mental illness research as some sort of anti-snowflake tough son of a gun macho man figure when in actuality he was someone the writer would most definitely call a snowflake if she bothered to learn more about the guy past surface level information
EXACTLY that poor guy struggled so much because of all the shit he had to experience
imagine writing a whole book mocking the left for trigger warnings, microaggressions, and safe spaces without understanding what a single one of those words mean.
it reads Like a parrody bit i can see it be real.
In the author's defense, he is a very big man. Too big to understand the concept of micro-anything. Cuz big yknow.
he big
And insinuating that microaggression means aggression from a small person.
I love how she's unable to use any of those words in a sentence, to the point where she just straight-up says Jake overheard those specific words in an undefined conversation with zero context.
Imagine writing a book calling everyone special snowflakes, then outright saying that your oh-so-special protagonist isn't like 99.9% of the people around him. (I'm starting to wonder if this all wasn't one big troll scheme.)
ok but i think that "this time, the agression isn't micro" is legitamately a hilarious line and i don't see enough people talking about it.
Top tier comedy
No-one talking about the "not so liberal art of war" either, which is amazing
It sounds like one of those over the top taglines for action films. Lmao
I unironically love that line. This book is bad but the author can indeed make decent puns
It is funny, but I think it was meant to be badass.
“You’re young, yet you look down on other people your age.”
Lady, that ain’t rare. Just read the RUclips comments for any song made before 1995.
"I'm six months old, yet I despise the music of today, also female singers back in the day didn't have to show any skin and..."
Yep, you will always find that "special super rare old soul" on every comment section for any older music video.
The entire book is just an old soul RUclips comment stretched to 500 pages
I haven't even been conceived yet, yet I despise today's music because I need something to publicly hate to make me feel superior to other people because in fact, I am not actually superior to anyone - I'm most likely inferior due to my attitudes.
"I was born in the wrong generation. I wish I could've grown up listening to this. Everyone my age just listens to Micki Nimaj and Jackson Bibber!"
(Why do people always wish they were born earlier because they like older music? It's not like if you were born in 2005 you have no way to listen to music from 1965.)
Also, it's not hard to look down on people when you're that B I G.
This whole book is a great example of making up a guy and getting mad at him
The irony of a book mocking liberals for being triggered being about a guy who is being constantly triggered is hilarious
Thats how most people who make triggered jokes are tbh lol
It’s so funny 😂 they call liberals snowflakes but they are literally the biggest of snowflakes. They’ve become the very thing they’ve fought to destroy 😂
Exactly
I've been triggered myself, but never "Ima-write-a-900-page-rage-essay-about-how-totally-not-triggered-I-am" triggered lmao
Literally? Literally the biggest snowflake?
Hes just. too. big.
Terrorists: "You're a big guy..."
Jake Rivers: "For you."
Me me big boy!
That's what she said.
Terrorists: "well congratulations, you got yourself caught. Now whats the next step of your master plan?"
Jake Rivers: "Red-pilling these libs. WITH FACTS AND LOGIC"
#toobigforthisworld
It’s the fact that the girl we are introduced to 19 minutes in has pockets deep enough for her to even put her hands in. Took me right out of the story
??
@@subblonde3101 pockets in women's jeans are tiny as hell bruh 😔🤚. deep pockets is completely unrealistic lmaoo
Maybe she was wearing Jakes pants. Cuz you know, he’s big. Idk if you caught that from all the subtle clues.
Let’s not forget that she stood in a way that made her breasts stand out. You know. Like how all women purposely do whenever we’re talking a big strong man. Because that’s our priority. Not just standing in a comfortable position. Who does that?
Standing in a normal, comfortable position is for pajama soy boys. When I meet a woman I always instantly stand in a way to make my crotch stand out because freedom. 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
if theres anything you can take away from this, it's that no matter HOW BAD you think your writing is, it can still get published and sold.
The goal is to make money dear....
Not to please your primary school English teacher...
@@BumboLooks please ur nuts school nutz teacher
if you're white and not poor, that is
As long as you strongly imply it was written by your well-known uncle (who MIGHT not have died over a decade ago, who's to say)
@@BumboLooks okay "dear"
For somebody who's "not triggered by microaggression", the protagonist sure spends a lot of time whining about his classmates being liberals and saying funny internet words
"I am not upset" - the thesis
@@saphriaflaans462 to some people coherent thought and empathy ARE microaggressions
this is more towards the author (or the type of person the author might be trying to imitate) but, I love the recursive mental acrobatics involved with someone getting triggered by the concept of triggering and not seeing the irony.
This reeks of “how do you do, fellow kids?” Energy 🤣
The "iM nOT lIKe tHosE othER BOIs"
So....I left youtube running last night when I fell asleep. I woke up at 3 am to a deep dive into the vampire diaries from a youtuber I'd never seen before. I'm a 40 year old plumber. I have no interest in the vampire diaries. But damn if I didn't go back to bed instead staying up to watch not only your vampire diaries video....but many others. So cheers to one of the most random subscribes I've given and you might get. Keep being you.
Wait no this is the most wholesome comment I’ve ever read, you seem so sweet 🥲 hopefully her videos are still entertaining you!
🥺🥺🥺🥺
Shoutout plumbers man
This is maybe myfavorite comment on RUclips
I also found Jenny's channel after waking up extremely early in the morning to the Vampire Diaries video playing on RUclips. What a random and wonderful surprise! She is my new favorite content creator. ❤
This book is the right wing version of “and then the entire bus clapped”
Omfg! 😂😂😂
Yo lol so true 😂
Omg yes that’s so on point it’s scary
TO be fair it's labelled as fiction.
OMFG yes! 😂
"I always had really unkind thoughts about the Zodiac Killer." is a helluva line to hear when you're revisiting this video for the first time in ages.
yeah what does Jenny have against Ted Cruz 😕
I like how the one Middle Eastern character isn’t the main antagonist but still manages to confirm all of Jake’s biases by trying to weasel his way into some other dude’s terrorist operation.
didn’t you know all middle eastern people in libraries are Islamic extremists?
@@shay1330 as a muslim middle eastern woman that often goes to different libraries, I can confirm this.
I'm surprised there isn't a character that actually identifies as an Attack Helicopter given how the author's research seems to be solely reading 4chan memes.
It's too boomerish to know internet stuff. This author is a Mark Dice and Crowder fan.
@@ArkyThePig yeah it reads less like “a Redittor’s/4Chan users view on progressivism” and more like “a Fox News viewers view on progressivism.” Specifically the massive emphasis on “old fashioned values” and the fact that the main character is a veteran make me think this as those are two things I personally more associate with boomer conservatism than internet/millennial conservatism
he is the big bad of book two
It’s depressing that we have a huge section for this dude in my local library (rural 🙄)
4chan memes arent this cringe
The bit about Audie Murphy was very much needed. That whole obsession with young WW2 soldiers is super common amongst reactionaries complaining about how "fragile" today's youth is. Every soldier they point to as a "badass that doesn't need safespaces" developed PTSD, oftentimes to crippling levels like what happened to Murphy, and many would eventually become advocates for mental health awareness and veteran rights (which mind you, is very brave and noble, but reactionaries hate).
People who glorify war are the weak men creating hard times…
I feel like the whole "haha snowflake triggered" insult is used less by boomers here in the UK, and I sometimes wonder if it's as a result of a lot of them growing up around people who were children during WW2. "Billy saw a doodlebug flatten a house on his street when he was 14 and never slept through the night since" isn't as easy to glamorise as "Joey bravely fought on the front lines at just 16 years old".
Almost as though reactionaries hate anything that doesn’t directly benefit them.
A lot of those soldiers were scared little kids who didn't want to be there and did the bare minimum so they could go home. Many purposefully missed their enemies in a fight because they didn't want to kill.
I'm a veteran and I would be absolutely thrilled if none of my students ever fought in a war.
If you had said Onision wrote this I would’ve believed you
Or Ben Shapiro tbh
I wouldn't, not enough scenes of the self insert protag being really weird with underage characters
It’s not set in high school.
@@misterkingdom3571*elementary*
nah, even this is too well written to be onion boy
I love how Jake, a former Army Ranger, describes Krav Maga, a fighting style developed for military self-defense, as "fancy karate moves".
Wasn’t Krav Maga developed and perfected by the IDF? Yknow, one of the key allied militaries Jake would have been fighting alongside?
Krav Maga is less of a "fancy karate" and more "throw a chair, stab in the eye with any pencil you find and kick them in the dick" fighting style
@@absenteechild8542 You're assuming the author understands... things.
@@Tetragrammaton22 true mbmb
@@---nu4ed regardless of what you think it's still hilarious the author wrote this Abt a combat style developed for the military
Audie Murphy was a SMALL guy, an activist, and a firm believer that war is hell. Does the author not know this.
You heard what she wrote, isn’t it a little unfair to expect this author to know things?
Being anti war is bad enough but heaven forbid he not be a BIG man.
judging by how he obviously did no research on of any of the concepts he's straw-manning. I'd guess he also did no research on anything else.
He doesn't know this, or anything. He's been dead 16 years. Goodness knows who is inhabiting his dried out husk right now to write these (though they sure don't know nothing either).
I don't think the author cares.
This whole book reads like that one tumblr post where someone claimed they were beat up by a bus full of people wearing "down with cis" shirts
@Maple lord 4 chan isnt alt right
TheFirstTime
God, I wish that was me
TheFirstTime I’d google ‘4 Chan alt right’ if I were you. Hate speech there has spiked by 40% since 2015. They’ve been widely considered overrun with alt right and alt trolls for a while.
hey, that was real! i was there and everyone was clapping
oh gOD i forgot that post existed
I want Natalie to come back in every horsedog sequel, and she gets swept up in whatever terrorist group Jake is confronting and ends up betraying him and getting shot and arrested. Inexplicably she’d be free again at the start of each book, obviously
if you switch 'liberals' with 'preps' this book is basically my immortal
How could say something so brave yet so true?
my names eBigny darkness dementia raven way and im so big and good-sized i can't fit into my hot pink fishnets :(
It is tho
10,000 Subscribers Without Any Videos I’m glad i don’t know what that is
Gosh, it soooooo is!
Jake. An absolute unit. So big. I would get Jake tattooed on my arm, but I am afraid my weak liberal snowflake arms arent big enough to hold the sheer bigness of Jake.
I guarantee that the author is 5 foot 8 and is really sensitive about it.
Unlike Jake, who you must be reminded, is 50 foot 8
@@theomegajuice8660
You're right to be afraid
Jake is so big, that he’s really big.
even the strongest of non-special conservatives quail at the bigness of big jake
“I took my maternal grandfathers last name.”
Dude... just say you took your mom’s name. Oh Jake... this is why you didn’t have any friends. I know, you’re fictional and don’t exist - but strangely, you do. And you’re admiring your sword collection as we speak.
The determination to avoid having the fictional male character acknowledge that any part of him + his existence came from a woman is geniunely hilarious for how miserably resentful it is. A woman literally *made* the author and a fictional woman *made* the fictional character but God forbid we ever acknowledge that women play any part in the origin story of any man ever bc that would imply that a woman had anything worthwhile to contribute, unless what she contributes is dying or otherwise being Fridged for male development 🙄
Saying "I took my maternal grandfather's name" instead of "my mother's name" takes on an extra layer when you remember that this book was written by a woman writing under her uncle's name, rather than her own.
I guess it could be considered an example of writing what you know?
This is a samurai sword of a high ranking Shogunate dating back all the way to Feudal Japan. Forged by master craftsmen, blacksmiths working with true Damascus steel.
(Is made in China, bought at a flee market for 100 bucks)
Verbosity- the key characteristic of a bad writer.
@@ferrisbueller9991 I wonder how many times the steel was folded ... while it was Damascus steel, which ... did not have the impurities that folding is used to remove.
Dust jacket states that Jake doesn't get triggered. Jake proceeds to get triggered in literally the first scene. This book is a masterpiece
Wow, the writing is so immersive! It's like the author is standing in front of us screaming their personal beliefs!
Welcome to Deep Thoughts With Heinlein.
Anti-sjw writers: Liberals are so bad at writing, their books are so preachy with no sense of reality.
Also anti-sjw writers: Write books like trigger warning.
@@noraarcadia635 osp reference??
When conservatives try to parody someone they go full haywire in an instant. They don’t even have an inch of subtetly. It’s just throwing every single buzzword they can think of in an instant to describe their SJW characters. It would be like if a progressive wrote a book about a guy living in a small town and everyone there is a clumpfooted conspiracy theorist hick.
I can practically feel the angry spittle on my face 🤩
My conclusion - Jake really needs glasses, but he's a old fashioned *man* who doesn't need something so pandering and weak as glasses...thus causing his problems recognizing basic hairstyles and clothing
Maybe he's too big for glasses.
He needs to be careful not to snap the glasses in half every time he picks them up
Can’t use contacts. He’d never be able to pick them up with his large masculine rugged big manly fingers, that can caress a lady’s cheek as well as pull a trigger
he also gets into fights sometimes because he mistakes the college football team for a gaggle of ninjas wielding bike chains
Fun fact: Krav Maga is literally a military martial art. It is not known for flashy moves.
Not just any martial art, but the Israeli martial art. Jew Jutsu, as it were. Really hoping it wasn't intended as a dog whistle.
@@critormiss6084 lmao that's a great name (jew jitsu)
I came here to comment exactly this. The way it's described is the furthest thing from what real krav maga tactics look like.
not to mention that krav maga is about defence against an armed attacker rather than offence against an unarmed person
And it can be completely negated by a punch to the gut
My favorite part was when Jake said "it's biggin time" and then bigged all over the shooters
He's like a thwomp
PLEASE im recovering from knee surgery and i woke up from my meds wearing off and it’s hurting just oh so bad rn so while i wait for my meds to kick in i came to these comments to distract myself and this one sent me over the edge for some reason this is so funny im sobbing 😂😂😂