Well, I guess SOMEBODY had to read “Trigger Warning”

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  • Опубликовано: 26 дек 2024

Комментарии • 26 тыс.

  • @MrMoonpopm
    @MrMoonpopm 6 лет назад +54810

    Friendly reminder that Jakes needs an education

    • @mathieuleader8601
      @mathieuleader8601 6 лет назад +2924

      Jake is physically macro and macho but mentally he appears to be micro

    • @intheairex
      @intheairex 6 лет назад +1022

      Jakes rise up

    • @slochedplays9585
      @slochedplays9585 6 лет назад +995

      @@mathieuleader8601 When phallic size imagery goes from being subtext to text.

    • @janetsnakehole9322
      @janetsnakehole9322 6 лет назад +829

      chads? old news. jake are new things.

    • @birdword111
      @birdword111 6 лет назад +250

      Maybe we need to start a GoFundMe campaign

  • @ethernetgirl2001
    @ethernetgirl2001 6 лет назад +14093

    Homie really wrote a book called trigger warning and gave his main character ptsd

    • @babyvia6712
      @babyvia6712 6 лет назад +1700

      Elaina Hall I know, it’s basically the embodiment of the phrase: it hurts itself in its confusion!!!

    • @GummyDinosaursify
      @GummyDinosaursify 6 лет назад +562

      @@babyvia6712 *IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!*

    • @DAEsaster
      @DAEsaster 6 лет назад +663

      It could've been a good book about the reasons that we have trigger warnings but nooooooooo

    • @Darkerxz
      @Darkerxz 6 лет назад +176

      Its a homegirl!

    • @ethernetgirl2001
      @ethernetgirl2001 6 лет назад +70

      @@Darkerxz she's just the co-author though so I'm assuming the first name on the cover is the person who had the main idea and most creative control

  • @caitlinjopepe541
    @caitlinjopepe541 5 лет назад +2098

    I can't believe the *first* paragraph is "phone bad book good"

    • @nunyabizness6553
      @nunyabizness6553 4 года назад +261

      Not just "Phone bad book good" but "Phone bad book good, because I can be violent with book"

    • @Robin-of2jt
      @Robin-of2jt 4 года назад +85

      @@nunyabizness6553 Also ebooks are cheaper?? If Jakes is so mad about the price of his textbooks, he should get a nook

    • @bryanbarcelo5440
      @bryanbarcelo5440 4 года назад +31

      @@nunyabizness6553 clearly the protagonist hasn't had a nokia phone

    • @milkworms7839
      @milkworms7839 4 года назад +60

      It needed to establish that Jake was big enough to Yeet a textbook across the room

    • @TheInfernalOnionz
      @TheInfernalOnionz 4 года назад +10

      Caitlin Jo Pepe Jake I cannot click the book

  • @vangobango7627
    @vangobango7627 5 лет назад +4537

    There are two genders:
    Big
    Good size

  • @Connor-jl9gq
    @Connor-jl9gq Год назад +2063

    I love how the author seems to think of college students as a bunch of wimpy pansys but said students are just constantly starting fights through the book

    • @iggykidd
      @iggykidd Год назад +421

      I mean, that’s a fascist tactic. You make your enemy seem paradoxically both easily defeatable weaklings but also an immediate, dangerous threat.

    • @lizabethhampton4537
      @lizabethhampton4537 Год назад +60

      From a narrative perspective it is comical

    • @ВладиславКрутиков-х5ж
      @ВладиславКрутиков-х5ж Год назад +42

      This is explained as a test of protagonist's abilites somehow arranged by the main antagonist in the scene read around minute 50, where anatagonist does sudden exposition of his evil plans.

    • @LancasterResponding
      @LancasterResponding Год назад

      @@iggykiddLike how they say Biden is an old senile man but also intricately planning to take everyone’s rights away.

    • @DrCruel
      @DrCruel 7 месяцев назад

      It's not exactly contradictory. Antifa is a lot like an army of angry bigoted hypocritical kobolds.

  • @62cky4powerthirst
    @62cky4powerthirst 4 года назад +3893

    This entire book reads like the "christian soldier destroys atheist professor" copypasta

    • @camelspiderattack4161
      @camelspiderattack4161 4 года назад +292

      and that soldier's name? Albert Einstein

    • @GrahamBarth
      @GrahamBarth 4 года назад +279

      God's Not Dead 3: Big Jakes' Revenge

    • @dorongrossman-naples9207
      @dorongrossman-naples9207 4 года назад +136

      @@KB-zq9ny Oh, no, you aren't getting out of this that easily. You can't just decide someone isn't Christian because it's convenient for you to not be associated with them. Every heard of the No True Scotsman fallacy?

    • @dorongrossman-naples9207
      @dorongrossman-naples9207 4 года назад +95

      @@KB-zq9ny A Christian is literally someone who follows the religion Christianity, don't try to be pulling this bullshit where Christian just means "person who is good" because literally no one uses the word that way except for you and other apologists.

    • @KB-zq9ny
      @KB-zq9ny 4 года назад +8

      Let's just agree to disagree.

  • @SleuthySocks
    @SleuthySocks 6 лет назад +6998

    Did the author really introduce a female character with essentially, she stood there boobily....

    • @xivCatumin
      @xivCatumin 6 лет назад +791

      "Boobily" is my new favorite word.

    • @dankleeb8788
      @dankleeb8788 6 лет назад +830

      “With much boobage”

    • @Cheyruz
      @Cheyruz 6 лет назад +1191

      "She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards."

    • @kylemagaro231
      @kylemagaro231 6 лет назад +464

      He clearly appreciates a woman with big smarts

    • @quentin9628
      @quentin9628 6 лет назад +123

      It works with male characters, too.

  • @theunnamedboog3197
    @theunnamedboog3197 4 года назад +21394

    The four body types in this book:
    • Big
    • Not Big
    • Good Sized
    • Woman

    • @wimpykidragon
      @wimpykidragon 4 года назад +1781

      Not woman, petite (with a special note to large booba)

    • @CinnamonQuills
      @CinnamonQuills 4 года назад +894

      I feel like one of the female Social Justice Nerds was described as "purple haired and chunky" (as opposed to the one who used to be a cheerleader but now tragically had dreadlocks and NO MAKEUP). Which, to be fair, probably falls into the "Big" category.

    • @Skag_Sisyphus
      @Skag_Sisyphus 4 года назад +49

      XD there's more shapes than that?

    • @derekedgar1676
      @derekedgar1676 4 года назад +26

      This made me laugh.

    • @edgarallenhoe3518
      @edgarallenhoe3518 4 года назад +215

      Woman (chunky)

  • @corndawg15
    @corndawg15 Год назад +1539

    The sad thing is that this will never be a movie. No one in Hollywood could be as big as Jake Rivers

    • @jlrinc1420
      @jlrinc1420 Год назад +113

      The could stack two weight lifters together like legos. Might be big enough with some cgi, the book doesnt mention four arms though.

    • @ihavewaited90daystochangem51
      @ihavewaited90daystochangem51 Год назад +38

      @@jlrinc1420 tfw you realize Jake rivers is just goro from mortal kombat

    • @lunarcod7187
      @lunarcod7187 Год назад +31

      ​@@jlrinc1420two bodybuilders in a trenchcoat

    • @Hollie0601
      @Hollie0601 Год назад +6

      this made me laugh so hard i choked on my own spit. there aren't many things in life that bring me that much mirth

    • @rikzw6846
      @rikzw6846 Год назад +21

      trigger warning adaptation with every huge musclebro in hollywood playing jake. every time the camera angle changes its a different dude. vin diesel, the rock, john cena, momoa.
      fuck it, make kumail nanjiani the Final Jake

  • @lingaustin2854
    @lingaustin2854 4 года назад +2309

    This book is the right wing version of “and then the entire bus clapped”

  • @Faint366
    @Faint366 2 года назад +4472

    He’s not a pampered rich kid, he’s just the grandson of a millionaire. Got it

    • @alexwyatt2911
      @alexwyatt2911 Год назад +307

      Jake is the grandson of a millionaire who was paying for tuition of a military veteran-you know, a person who receives government subsidies for attending higher education. So, the author didn’t even need to have Jake enjoy the privilege of having a wealthy family member.

    • @stevendemayo3631
      @stevendemayo3631 Год назад

      @@alexwyatt2911 Trust me, a veteran using the GI bill for their tuition is not the same as having a millionaire in the family lol. It helps a lot, but there are still plenty of fees it doesn't cover

    • @magpieMOB
      @magpieMOB Год назад +119

      It's amazing how sensitive privilege can be when it gets called out, kind of like how Gwyneth Paltrow went on a rant about the concept of "Nepo Babies", while she got her debut movie role in 'Hook' as young Wendy Darling because Steven Spielberg is LITERALLY HER GODFATHER (to clarify, this is not me accusing "all sides" - Gwyneth Paltrow might be 'liberal' but she's not a leftist, she's a capitalist)

    • @Faint366
      @Faint366 Год назад +75

      @@magpieMOB you don’t have to apologize or backtrack anything. Call out whatever bad behavior you see even if it’s on “your side”

    • @WeFightForever
      @WeFightForever 7 месяцев назад +34

      Honestly probably close to a billionaire given the description of his estate. Dude lives on a private golf course

  • @wildheartmustang
    @wildheartmustang 6 лет назад +2801

    Book Author: "Huehuehue r u triggered1?!??!"
    Main character: *literally has a PTSD flashback within the first few pages of the book because of antifa*

    • @Stonehawk
      @Stonehawk 6 лет назад +268

      Yeah, amazingly he literally got triggered

    • @timothymclean
      @timothymclean 6 лет назад +354

      It's like the author has literally no idea what "triggered" (or any of the other "libtard" phrases he uses) actually mean, and just got it down the grapevine from people mocking libruls.

    • @wildheartmustang
      @wildheartmustang 6 лет назад +210

      ​@@timothymclean I'm like 99.9% certain that this entire book was written by his niece.
      There's no way you can convince me that army vet and former sheriff William Johnstone had a draft manuscript of this written in the 80's/90's, before he stopped writing those cowboy and horror books and died, when the book has references to "intersectional feminism", and the term wasn't theorised until 1989 by Kimberle Crenshaw and hasn't come into common parlance as a critical framework since not even the last 5 years :')

    • @ChrisMaxfieldActs
      @ChrisMaxfieldActs 6 лет назад +8

      @@timothymclean She. Did anyone watch the whole video?

    • @ChrisMaxfieldActs
      @ChrisMaxfieldActs 6 лет назад +33

      @@wildheartmustang I don't even think Jenny really believes that. It was simply the most charitable theory about the co-author subterfuge. Jo is clearly writing her own crappy fiction now. Good God, that book sounds so cringey!

  • @somebody-xu4mz
    @somebody-xu4mz Год назад +3800

    Nothing I can write will ever beat my favourite line of this:
    "I was just trying to help a woman."
    "Toxic! Toxic! Racist!"

    • @BumboLooks
      @BumboLooks Год назад

      It happens dude. Police recently stopped a black woman from drowning her own baby in the bathtub and the whole black community was angry at the police lol.
      Almost as if it is a black persons right to drown their own children or something...

    • @justsomerandompersononthei1773
      @justsomerandompersononthei1773 Год назад +278

      It's so heightened and absurd I actually burst out laughing. it's priceless.

    • @davidkonevky7372
      @davidkonevky7372 Год назад +76

      ​@@BumboLooksyeah. Like in _______ and also _______. Oooh don't forget when it happened on _____ too 😂

    • @kwarra-an
      @kwarra-an Год назад +325

      ​@@BumboLooksthat is so true. I made my mum coffee and she called me a toxic racist, doxxed me, broke my legs, and locked me in the attic. I've been trapped here for a week now and nobody will help because I've been cancelled.

    • @BumboLooks
      @BumboLooks Год назад

      @@kwarra-an Your comment is nothing but meaningless hyperbole...
      Here's something that would actually happen, ( this did actually happen to me ).
      You're at university. It's your first day so you don't know your way around the campus. You unknowingly walk into the women's graduate club. It is a floor dedicated as a women's only area.
      You see a student accidentally drop ten or so big books. You start picking them up. She tells you to
      "stop touching my shit"
      and says
      "get the fuck out of here, This is a sexism free zone"
      without explanation.

  • @JaylukKhan
    @JaylukKhan 6 лет назад +4383

    Jake: unlike you sjws I am not easily triggered.
    Also Jake: literally gets triggered within the first chapter. Tenses up whenever he sees a middle-eastern person

    • @whussung
      @whussung 5 лет назад +494

      Jake is already triggered in the first sentence by the book he was reading lol

    • @MrMike855
      @MrMike855 5 лет назад +35

      No, that's antifa who shows up. I don't get why people don't criticize the stupid implication that a roving black block of people just constantly patrols this college attacking those that oppose them. Instead of saying they're "ninjas" or "Muslims".

    • @jjju3
      @jjju3 5 лет назад +133

      *_grrr man bun_*

    • @pisscvre69
      @pisscvre69 5 лет назад +21

      Jakes a SnOwFlAkE

    • @muumipeikkomahtava4927
      @muumipeikkomahtava4927 5 лет назад +94

      @@MrMike855 Oo scary antifa ninjas. Sure.

  • @one_smol_duck
    @one_smol_duck 6 лет назад +9868

    My favorite part is that he's not "coddled"like the other students, but also gets out of trouble for being the grandson of one of the school's major donors. Real underdog, this one.

    • @sarahgrimes8892
      @sarahgrimes8892 6 лет назад +547

      @@kawaii33366 it doesn't give good representation to anyone

    • @leongkinwai9709
      @leongkinwai9709 6 лет назад +39

      @@kawaii33366 In fairness, it's a university; I'm guessing no one with a lower than average income's going to be present, let alone properly portrayed, unless they're on a scholarship.
      *EDIT:* This is a _massive_ sweeping generalisation on my part.

    • @lotus_dream
      @lotus_dream 6 лет назад +247

      @@leongkinwai9709 many poor people go to universities.. what are you talking about? Most of my friends are struggling to get by, but all are university students.

    • @leongkinwai9709
      @leongkinwai9709 6 лет назад +49

      @@lotus_dream I'm not sure; I just realised how massively sweeping that statement was and that I shouldn't have made it to begin with.

    • @shutupdani
      @shutupdani 6 лет назад +246

      @@kawaii33366 Being called cis/cishet is an insult? How? They are just cis and straight. It's not like they're being called ugly and stupid.

  • @tarvoc746
    @tarvoc746 5 лет назад +4328

    Book description: "This is a book about a hero who doesn't get TRIGGERED like all the LEFTIST SNOWFLAKES!!!"
    Literally the first paragraph: Hero gets so upset by a book that he feels the urge to throw it against a wall.

    • @oswald7716
      @oswald7716 5 лет назад +528

      This is the funniest example of conservative cognitive dissonance I've ever seen

    • @tarvoc746
      @tarvoc746 5 лет назад +201

      @@oswald7716 IKR? I mean I see shit like that every day on the internet, but it's still hilarious to see it in a legit publication.

    • @amityislandchum
      @amityislandchum 4 года назад +399

      It's funny how conservatives think you're a worthless snowflake if you express your emotions through words or demands for better legislation, but you're a total badass if you express your emotions by screaming, breaking things, and hitting people.
      Kinda sounds more like the difference between adults and children.

    • @brendaningram4362
      @brendaningram4362 4 года назад +165

      I mean he also then experiences a PTSD flashback which is literally where the term "trigger" comes from, and is a major reason why trigger warnings exist sooooo

    • @Wveth
      @Wveth 4 года назад +11

      @@brendaningram4362 "a PTSD flashback which is literally where the term "trigger" comes from" I'm sorry? EDIT: OH! Never mind, I misread your comment. Derp.

  • @aliciasepulveda8290
    @aliciasepulveda8290 2 года назад +2093

    how is jake able to get a masters in biology without 1. already having a bachelors and 2. specializing in any specific branch of biology

    • @maxv9464
      @maxv9464 2 года назад +596

      He is specializing... In MACRObiology

    • @TheNasaOK
      @TheNasaOK Год назад

      It’s almost as if the authors don’t know how higher education works.
      „Yeah you just visit random courses, probably ‚male privilege history’ or whatever the libs are forcing down our children’s throats, and if you are good you get a masters“

    • @ReplyGuy22345
      @ReplyGuy22345 Год назад

      His masters comes from screaming the phrase “biological sex” while have zero idea what it means or how it functions other then owning Trans people

    • @clsisman
      @clsisman Год назад +437

      (Because he’s so big)

    • @jasonfenton8250
      @jasonfenton8250 Год назад +178

      His brain is strong and big.

  • @erinbailey7940
    @erinbailey7940 3 года назад +16396

    “I took the name of my maternal grandfather” is about the rudest way possible to say he took his mothers name

    • @kstar1489
      @kstar1489 3 года назад +2857

      Yeah I found that so odd. Why couldn’t he just say he took his mother’s maiden name? Too unmanly for him? How sad and pathetic

    • @flyingfox3296
      @flyingfox3296 3 года назад +242

      Doesn't that mean he took his grandfather's name from his mother's side of the family? Like, his mom's dad. If it were "paternal grandfather" it would be his dad's dad.

    • @erinbailey7940
      @erinbailey7940 3 года назад +1983

      @@flyingfox3296 it also means he took his mother’s maiden name. And she was divorced, so it was just her name. He took his mother’s name. But that would be girly of him. So instead he said maternal grandfather. Because man.

    • @frogofalltime
      @frogofalltime 3 года назад +731

      @@erinbailey7940 nothing more badass and masculine than disrespecting your mom 😎

    • @carolyntalbot947
      @carolyntalbot947 3 года назад +617

      Jake's surname is too big for a little lady

  • @charliephoenix3674
    @charliephoenix3674 5 лет назад +4234

    Is it just me or is Jakes Not Like Other Girls

    • @raminybhatti5740
      @raminybhatti5740 5 лет назад +123

      Sounds quirky. 🤔😁

    • @sheriffkimbo
      @sheriffkimbo 5 лет назад +11

      Nia Jakes isn't. Wait, that's Nia Jax. Carry on.

    • @beefcakesmchunkerson9079
      @beefcakesmchunkerson9079 4 года назад +172

      Hi, my name is Jake Dark’ness Dimentia Raven Way

    • @n14d14
      @n14d14 4 года назад +8

      i mean most girls think antifa is good. but like, shouldn’t everyone?

    • @handsoaphandsoap
      @handsoaphandsoap 4 года назад +14

      yeah because he’s a BIG MAN

  • @incrediblefrown1288
    @incrediblefrown1288 6 лет назад +2443

    beginning of the book: protagonist has ptsd flashback
    ending of the book: ptsd is fake actually

    • @PalomaDreams17
      @PalomaDreams17 6 лет назад +333

      Don't be silly, everyone knows only *MANLY MEN* get PTSD from *the war,* and deal with it by being aloof badasses, which is very healthy

    • @thatonestormtrooper2760
      @thatonestormtrooper2760 6 лет назад +157

      Now that's character growth. Turns out all you need to do to defeat PTSD is just dont. Dont have ptsd you goober

    • @joebob3719
      @joebob3719 6 лет назад +68

      @johnmburt1960 "PTSD is only real for the troops!"
      Okay what about this troop who has PTSD?
      *fingers in ears* "lalalalala"

    • @daniellafernando7966
      @daniellafernando7966 6 лет назад +4

      *Logic: 100*

    • @KPater-mf4je
      @KPater-mf4je 6 лет назад +66

      beginning of the paragraph: I hate it when women are being mistreated.
      end of the paragraph: but if a woman is assaulted in front of me I'm okay with that.

  • @jonesy279
    @jonesy279 Год назад +787

    I’m not finished yet, but I’m really struggling to get into this “Dog” character without knowing if he’s big or not.

    • @jessicest
      @jessicest 8 месяцев назад +20

      imagine how much depth it'd show in Jake's character if Dog was the size of Peter Dinklage
      "It's not the size of the Dog in the fight..."

    • @TomPVideo
      @TomPVideo 7 месяцев назад +6

      "It doesn't even have a first name, it just says "Dog!""

    • @GardinerAlan
      @GardinerAlan 7 месяцев назад +18

      Setting it up for the sequel where Dog turns bad and Jakes immediately surrenders bc Dog is 2 inches taller than him - and size really does matter. But then he grabs a chainsaw outta nowhere and attacks Dog's knee 'cutting him down to size' but then Jakes spares his life bc now he is 'the bigger man'

  • @everettlopez9127
    @everettlopez9127 6 лет назад +5550

    Hi my name is jake rivers and I have a big tall large big grandpa (that’s how I got my name). I have pale white skin. I’m also big, and I go to a trigger warning lib school school called Kelton in America. I’m big (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly camo. I love Bass Pro Shop and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a camo jacket with matching comfortable shorts, an inside-the-waist-band holster, knife and gun. I was walking outside Kelton College. A lot of antifa stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

    • @MmMm-sf7pe
      @MmMm-sf7pe 6 лет назад +294

      This is a masterpiece.

    • @richelle2551
      @richelle2551 6 лет назад +170

      This sounds like the opening of a wattpad book

    • @ramywiles
      @ramywiles 6 лет назад +476

      I'm not related to Ben Shapiro but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie.

    • @GummyDinosaursify
      @GummyDinosaursify 6 лет назад +395

      Is this the beginning of My Immortal?

    • @MmMm-sf7pe
      @MmMm-sf7pe 6 лет назад +629

      @@GummyDinosaursify This fic is called Big Immortal.

  • @serpenking
    @serpenking 6 лет назад +7520

    This book feels like those "and then the entire bus clapped" but its geared towards facebook elderly conservatives

    • @babyvia6712
      @babyvia6712 6 лет назад +157

      LMAOO that’s so fucking true

    • @pauldee1577
      @pauldee1577 6 лет назад +120

      Perfect analysis 100% perfect you get a pizza

    • @LordoftheStrings109
      @LordoftheStrings109 6 лет назад +32

      @@pauldee1577 $100%

    • @vitriolicAmaranth
      @vitriolicAmaranth 6 лет назад +154

      and it's several thousand times longer
      sorry, *bigger

    • @culwin
      @culwin 6 лет назад +74

      Not just elderly, unfortunately. Elderly ones don't know what half this book is talking about.

  • @KrytenKoro
    @KrytenKoro 2 года назад +4555

    He's not "coddled" but his rich grandpa fixes everything for him.

    • @howdypardner6278
      @howdypardner6278 2 года назад +508

      unlike his fellow students, Jake's not spoiled, his grandfather just handles all his problems for him with his wallet

    • @TwenOalley
      @TwenOalley 2 года назад +129

      this book seems like a parody

    • @lilydahl7987
      @lilydahl7987 2 года назад +311

      he also says he doesn't get triggered, but literally has PTSD flashbacks and definitely needs to be in therapy

    • @parthasarathipanda4571
      @parthasarathipanda4571 2 года назад +22

      Na this is a serious work of art, an homage to 'Threat Level Midnight'...

    • @IamAlmostRealWitch
      @IamAlmostRealWitch Год назад +1

      this! 😀

  • @privateauditor562
    @privateauditor562 2 года назад +1103

    it's so funny to me that the only thing that happened between Natalie and Jake is her endlessly complimenting him and agreeing with his worldview, and by the end of the book he's madly in love with her and forgives her for helping to take a school hostage and committing acts of terrorism. Apparently the only thing Jake wants in a woman is compliance and an ego boost and he's in love

    • @timothymclean
      @timothymclean Год назад +68

      To be fair, it seems more likely that the author just didn't put that much thought into the romantic subplot. But your version is pretty funny.

    • @mrodo5175
      @mrodo5175 Год назад +39

      I meannnnnnnn, I imagine that'll get most men going

    • @VideoGuy232
      @VideoGuy232 Год назад +12

      Sounds like most of my dates tbh (I’m a gay male)

  • @chrisgostanian6753
    @chrisgostanian6753 6 лет назад +1083

    “You’re young, yet you look down on other people your age.”
    Lady, that ain’t rare. Just read the RUclips comments for any song made before 1995.

    • @edisonlima4647
      @edisonlima4647 6 лет назад +222

      "I'm six months old, yet I despise the music of today, also female singers back in the day didn't have to show any skin and..."
      Yep, you will always find that "special super rare old soul" on every comment section for any older music video.

    • @ayearxi
      @ayearxi 6 лет назад +76

      The entire book is just an old soul RUclips comment stretched to 500 pages

    • @deffdefying4803
      @deffdefying4803 5 лет назад +59

      I haven't even been conceived yet, yet I despise today's music because I need something to publicly hate to make me feel superior to other people because in fact, I am not actually superior to anyone - I'm most likely inferior due to my attitudes.

    • @FrenkTheJoy
      @FrenkTheJoy 5 лет назад +59

      "I was born in the wrong generation. I wish I could've grown up listening to this. Everyone my age just listens to Micki Nimaj and Jackson Bibber!"
      (Why do people always wish they were born earlier because they like older music? It's not like if you were born in 2005 you have no way to listen to music from 1965.)

    • @panonymousbloom5405
      @panonymousbloom5405 5 лет назад +23

      Also, it's not hard to look down on people when you're that B I G.

  • @ohnoitsthetrash128
    @ohnoitsthetrash128 3 года назад +3264

    "It's my first day at Liberal High...And- I don't think I fit in." He said as he pulled up his mask just below his nose.

  • @vaeraplayrite8480
    @vaeraplayrite8480 6 лет назад +3145

    “Trigger Warning” but every time Jake’s “bigness” is mentioned he grows in size

    • @arthiramaswamy4655
      @arthiramaswamy4655 6 лет назад +192

      he would have been able to wear dorm buildings as shoes by the end of the book

    • @kestopiagaming8697
      @kestopiagaming8697 6 лет назад +90

      Book is called “Trigger Warning.” Author gets Triggered everytime SJW’s are mentioned.

    • @angelairwaves
      @angelairwaves 6 лет назад +62

      this comment knocked me out like Jake's BIG fist

    • @DFWNites
      @DFWNites 6 лет назад +150

      "Bigger Warning"

    • @PonkChonk
      @PonkChonk 5 лет назад +17

      he a big b O I

  • @TheMarkoSeke
    @TheMarkoSeke Год назад +985

    The funniest part was the implication that sneeze loudness is corelated to nose size

    • @SpellboundSpectre
      @SpellboundSpectre Год назад +106

      Jakes big nose bigly sneezed like a big gust of big wind

    • @iggykidd
      @iggykidd Год назад +10

      Wouldn’t it be the other way around? Like a small nose would build more pressure?

    • @NotTheAntichrist
      @NotTheAntichrist Год назад +26

      I wonder if Jake's nose is as big as Doc Motumbo's. If Jake says your nose is big does that mean it's even bigger than his or, since Jake IS big, any nose that's the same size as his is a big nose.

    • @iggykidd
      @iggykidd Год назад +48

      @@NotTheAntichrist I believe we are to understand that Jake, while very big, has a nose that is proportionately average-size relative to the rest of his face, so while relative to each other, his nose may be as big or even bigger than Motumbo's, it is not a thing worthy of ridicule, according to the author. Having a nose that is oversized relative to your face is apparently something that Motumbo should have trained for, and is a sign of his lack of conviction to being manly

    • @NotTheAntichrist
      @NotTheAntichrist Год назад +34

      @@iggykidd I think it's a metaphor. He nose too much.

  • @UnrealisticGuy
    @UnrealisticGuy 4 года назад +5315

    My favorite part is that Jake says “My maternal grandfather’s name” and not just mother’s maiden name, you know like how normal people say it.

    • @funnyccore
      @funnyccore 4 года назад +1077

      Well it's really important that everyone knows that he didn't change his name for a Woman

    • @GreatBooker
      @GreatBooker 4 года назад +808

      Maiden name sounds less MANLY and Jakes is a BIG MAN

    • @elsie8757
      @elsie8757 4 года назад +396

      If he said it that way, people might erroneously think he changed his name for his mother instead of his grandpa, and we can't have THAT.

    • @elizabethbennet4791
      @elizabethbennet4791 4 года назад +179

      @@smileitsjustagame2937 yeah had to throw "father" in there otherwise he'd feel too womanly ...all those hormones in our food and environment making men pansies and girly and such

    • @dracorex426
      @dracorex426 4 года назад +10

      My maternal grandfather's last name and my mother's maiden name are different.

  • @tamiewhiteisboring
    @tamiewhiteisboring 3 года назад +2808

    The only reason this book is not adapt into movie is because theres no actor that big enough to play Jake

    • @Koooles
      @Koooles 3 года назад +53

      heard they contacted Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson, but they did not wanted adaptation to be tainted by an actor from a snowflake country filled with triggered government.

    • @bigdadybojangls9219
      @bigdadybojangls9219 3 года назад +118

      @@Koooles actually, they casted him and Dwayne Johnson to play Jake. Bjornsson wouldve been the top half with the rock sitting on his shoulders. They had to make a custom trench coat to fit them but it worked

    • @wubanizer
      @wubanizer 3 года назад +8

      @@bigdadybojangls9219 hahaha! Literally made me lol

    • @Fanimati0n
      @Fanimati0n 3 года назад +15

      Only Andre the Giant could compare to the stallion of a man that Jake is, & he has now left the mortal coil

    • @kodileigh9210
      @kodileigh9210 3 года назад +20

      Yeah, but Dwayne Johnston is partially Samoan and John is a white MAN. And that just won’t DO for “big man Jake”.

  • @cyphosmusicx
    @cyphosmusicx 5 лет назад +10785

    if you switch 'liberals' with 'preps' this book is basically my immortal

    • @emmae2520
      @emmae2520 5 лет назад +1268

      How could say something so brave yet so true?

    • @dogmouthhorse
      @dogmouthhorse 5 лет назад +1636

      my names eBigny darkness dementia raven way and im so big and good-sized i can't fit into my hot pink fishnets :(

    • @yaboimagnus4776
      @yaboimagnus4776 5 лет назад +65

      It is tho

    • @themoon-iy1kg
      @themoon-iy1kg 5 лет назад +31

      10,000 Subscribers Without Any Videos I’m glad i don’t know what that is

    • @Juliebel177
      @Juliebel177 5 лет назад +30

      Gosh, it soooooo is!

  • @Githerax
    @Githerax 2 года назад +1661

    Just coming back to this video again to be reminded of and comforted by how big Jake is. Just so big.

    • @BumboLooks
      @BumboLooks Год назад

      It isn't his height, it's his genitalia you see......

    • @glittery_cucumber
      @glittery_cucumber Год назад +55

      Be careful he won't accidentally snap your neck while he comforts you though!

    • @alexjewett7455
      @alexjewett7455 Год назад +43

      At this point, I can only picture him as an actual giant. Like, 10 feet tall, minimum.

    • @BumboLooks
      @BumboLooks Год назад +27

      @@alexjewett7455 Genetically engineering super-soldier during the cold war.

    • @alexjewett7455
      @alexjewett7455 Год назад +5

      @@BumboLooks I was thinking more in the fantasy sense, but that works, too.

  • @cheer90099
    @cheer90099 4 года назад +5790

    when the book just casually makes sure you know the "evil SJW" professor has a very large nose

    • @dopdrop8998
      @dopdrop8998 4 года назад +727

      Oh no

    • @pianoaddict772
      @pianoaddict772 4 года назад +604

      Good to know the author is an antisemite

    • @LP-lj9ig
      @LP-lj9ig 4 года назад +681

      ​@@pianoaddict772 bad character traits tend to all come together. If one hates other races and homosexuals, is it really that far for them to start hating women and jewish people too?

    • @mikegribanov6105
      @mikegribanov6105 4 года назад +340

      *whistling* come here, boy! Good dog!

    • @jali4000
      @jali4000 4 года назад +25

      🤔🤔🤔

  • @StealthyBug
    @StealthyBug 5 лет назад +1099

    "You're not just some run of the mill student."
    Oh, so Jake's a special snowflake

    • @Marco_Onyxheart
      @Marco_Onyxheart 5 лет назад +28

      Much better than a run of the mill snowflake like all those other students.

    • @henryhammond7393
      @henryhammond7393 5 лет назад +20

      Ow... the irony is actually causing me physical pain...ow....

    • @gingergoddess8953
      @gingergoddess8953 2 месяца назад +9

      He's not like other girls

    • @cam4636
      @cam4636 23 дня назад +4

      @@gingergoddess8953 He's bigger

  • @DPadGamer
    @DPadGamer 6 лет назад +3448

    Hes just. too. big.

    • @YTRingoster
      @YTRingoster 6 лет назад +93

      Terrorists: "You're a big guy..."
      Jake Rivers: "For you."

    • @sourabhmunot6333
      @sourabhmunot6333 6 лет назад +22

      Me me big boy!

    • @cloud5buster
      @cloud5buster 6 лет назад +14

      That's what she said.

    • @natalieobman5018
      @natalieobman5018 6 лет назад +50

      Terrorists: "well congratulations, you got yourself caught. Now whats the next step of your master plan?"
      Jake Rivers: "Red-pilling these libs. WITH FACTS AND LOGIC"

    • @dahlrjay63
      @dahlrjay63 5 лет назад +7

      #toobigforthisworld

  • @BackJack450
    @BackJack450 Год назад +2823

    "The gunman was white, fairly young and average looking. Nothing about him screamed mass shooter" is the funniest line I've ever heard. Coming from a white, fairly young and average looking man.

    • @karanaher-wn4kk
      @karanaher-wn4kk Год назад

      Ikr white fairly young average looking men are the first person to come up when searching mass shooter.

    • @pptenshi3900
      @pptenshi3900 Год назад

      all of the mass shooters I can think of are average looking white men 😂 the hypocrisy

    • @bionodroid547
      @bionodroid547 Год назад +80

      gotta use that line in a comedy sometime lol

    • @noalowenstein6741
      @noalowenstein6741 10 месяцев назад +259

      that bit is such a weird bit of irony. "William" clearly thinks the average shooter is a Muslim Arab, but for some reason decides to go against those biases and opt for something more creative, and in doing so stumbles bass-ackwards into what most shooters are actually like. it hurts my brain to think about

    • @ghoma8336
      @ghoma8336 8 месяцев назад +27

      I can only hear that line in a standup comedian voice

  • @Julianakun
    @Julianakun 4 года назад +3218

    Random note: he went out of his way to say he took his mom's dad's last name instead of just saying he took his mom's name...

    • @eyesofthecervino3366
      @eyesofthecervino3366 4 года назад +23

      Haha . . . hwut?!?

    • @General12th
      @General12th 4 года назад +356

      His mom clearly isn't worth respect, but Dog "Just Dog" Dog absolutely is, because he's a
      big
      man.

    • @GOFFBITZH666
      @GOFFBITZH666 4 года назад +308

      Mom not big man, Jake no like no big mans.

    • @toddhollen
      @toddhollen 4 года назад +271

      Call me crazy, but I don't think this author has a lot of respect for women.

    • @toddhollen
      @toddhollen 4 года назад +144

      Or a strong command of the English language.

  • @ReinBelmont
    @ReinBelmont 4 года назад +4859

    The dude, a trained soldier, gets triggered into some PTSD episodes just from looking at a different shade of skin but students being traumatized by an armed hostage situation are below him.

    • @discospider4120
      @discospider4120 4 года назад +591

      Yeah you know it's real unfortunate how the author accidentally demonstrates how toxic masculinity prevents people who need help from actually seeking it and regarding others who struggle as lowly.

    • @donqueshot2217
      @donqueshot2217 4 года назад +92

      @@discospider4120 is this unfortunate, though? This may enter tinfoil hat territory, but if I wanted to make conservative readers think about the complexity of something like PTSD, I might try a subversive approach where I appear to play into their prejudices at first.
      Edit: maybe the reference to Audie Murphy was deliberate.

    • @lukasthedark8478
      @lukasthedark8478 4 года назад +4

      I think the author was talking about the color of their clothes

    • @FIRING_BLIND
      @FIRING_BLIND 4 года назад +213

      @@lukasthedark8478 ummm maybe in the first fight scene... But he tensed up looking at the middle eastern dude not only due to racial prejudice, but also possibly because all the enemy combatants when he was overseas were of Middle Eastern heritage... So.... The color of someone's skin definitely affects how Jake sees them

    • @lukasthedark8478
      @lukasthedark8478 4 года назад +19

      @@FIRING_BLIND I was only thinking of the first scene, I didn’t really have time to watch the rest, if that’s the case then you’re right

  • @eh8772
    @eh8772 6 лет назад +3453

    I don't consider it a good day unless at least two strangers have approached me to monologue about how cool I am.

    • @stumbling
      @stumbling 6 лет назад +208

      Ha! Good one! Your wit is only surpassed by your charm and overall bigness. You're the kind of person who knows what makes a good day and what just isn't gonna cut it, and you don't have time for time wasters who fool around when they should be focusing on making the day good, great even, as you make every day to everyone you meet.

    • @unicornsprinkles3277
      @unicornsprinkles3277 6 лет назад +136

      Your flawless vocabulary and stylish wit set you apart from others in this world

    • @babahu15
      @babahu15 6 лет назад +106

      [looks at profile picture] Dog. Just Dog.

    • @keegster7167
      @keegster7167 6 лет назад +6

      Do you get good days often?

    • @eh8772
      @eh8772 5 лет назад +25

      @@keegster7167 Have you seen my profile picture? Every day is a good day.

  • @direcircumstances
    @direcircumstances 2 года назад +3727

    That first scene with the violent mob is such a beautiful, absurd representation of what conservatives think "cancel culture" is: An innocent white man with traditional values gets called a fascist for no reason and then anonymous attackers swarm him while onlookers cheer for his demise. When you have never faced real oppression and discrimination in your life, I imagine this is how dramatic it feels when strangers call you out on Twitter for using a slur.

    • @jasperjazzie
      @jasperjazzie Год назад +450

      it's wild how badly they want to be oppressed lmao

    • @Chinni_C888
      @Chinni_C888 Год назад +312

      and acting as if conservative men stand up for women, while liberal women are the ones defending their abusers is just mind-boggling.

    • @Dis_Dis
      @Dis_Dis Год назад +10

      Fr tho. Like, my brother in Christ. You can't get angry at people calling you a fascist if whenever there's a "Unite The Right" rally your ideological allies bring out torches and yell "Jews will not replace us!". The last time I saw that many Nazi flags I was playing Wolfenstein.

    • @makq00
      @makq00 Год назад +160

      that scene sounds exactly like this meme post from tumblr called the down with cis bus and it makes me giggle that this author genuinely wrote that whole exchange

    • @corvinredacted
      @corvinredacted Год назад +2

      It's extra ironic that he also complains about leftists being pacifist wimps who won't "embrace violence". Amazing how Jake is the perfect level of violent while all leftists are simultaneously too violent and not violent enough.

  • @Blaklighte
    @Blaklighte 3 года назад +6183

    I can't believe I'm self conscious about maybe publishing my own writing when books like this exist.

    • @depecher6s311
      @depecher6s311 3 года назад +435

      You could shit on a new page every day for a year and it would be a more compelling read, go for it boss

    • @lizzi7128
      @lizzi7128 3 года назад +62

      @@depecher6s311 I don't know... I'm laughing rn atleast

    • @lillasagna5487
      @lillasagna5487 3 года назад +182

      It's because you compare your writing to your own standards. Which are probably much higher than the standards of the people who would read this book willingly. So ay least your writing will turn out better when and if you do publish it.

    • @justingoldstein1577
      @justingoldstein1577 3 года назад +15

      If i could like this 2x

    • @limonx6778
      @limonx6778 3 года назад +37

      Anyone can be a "published author", literally anyone, you should publish it, that's the easiest step, if you don't you'll lose the experience of having your work out there

  • @_tking
    @_tking 5 лет назад +5083

    When Jake was a lad, he ate four dozen eggs
    Every morning to help him get large
    And now that he's grown, he eats five dozen eggs
    So he's roughly the size of a barge

    • @RebeccaKatsuya
      @RebeccaKatsuya 4 года назад +64

      This is too perfect! 😄

    • @stoppickingurnose7852
      @stoppickingurnose7852 4 года назад +112

      Jake also has high cholesterol. I wonder why.

    • @bificommander
      @bificommander 4 года назад +234

      No one's slick like Jake Riv
      No one's big like Jake Riv
      No one's *BLEEP*'s as incredibly thick like Jake Riv's .
      For there's no man on campus half as manly.
      Perfect, a pure patriot!
      You can ask any Chad, Kyle or Karen.
      And they'll tell you how much they want that bod.

    • @TheAirBear2000
      @TheAirBear2000 4 года назад +284

      No one's droll like Big Jake
      No one's swole like Big Jake
      No one fits his assigned gender role like Big Jake
      "I'm especially fond of the patriarchy"
      My what a guy that Big Jake!

    • @gyralstasis7975
      @gyralstasis7975 4 года назад +19

      @Carlos Adrián Aguirre so he's roughly the size of a brig?

  • @ashsweet
    @ashsweet 6 лет назад +3384

    The giant porg behind you is probably regular sized to jake. I don’t think he’d even be able to see actual porgs, they’d be microscopic to him

    • @GummyDinosaursify
      @GummyDinosaursify 6 лет назад +99

      *B I G*

    • @Rat-Baby
      @Rat-Baby 6 лет назад +179

      I think you mean they'd be microaggression to him.

    • @travisdk84
      @travisdk84 6 лет назад +73

      I don't know if Jenny has already named the big boy, but from now on I vote we call him Jake the Porg

    • @johnathonharker266
      @johnathonharker266 6 лет назад +55

      The actual reason nobody likes Jake is because he's so *B I G* that gazing upon him invokes eldritch horror. We are ants beneath his *M A N* feet.

    • @rockyseverino9230
      @rockyseverino9230 5 лет назад +10

      @@johnathonharker266 whoa dude, nice Lovecraftian twist you took us on

  • @annagracehow
    @annagracehow 2 года назад +841

    I work in a library and whenever someone checks out one of these books I always have to refrain from being like DID YOU KNOW HE'S DEAD AND HIS NIECE WRITES THESE (I have told all my coworkers though)

  • @connoreccleston9702
    @connoreccleston9702 6 лет назад +3112

    *makes fun of people getting triggered*....... *main character has PTSD*

    • @ipetzombies
      @ipetzombies 6 лет назад +241

      God it's so perfect.

    • @KaijaSchmauss
      @KaijaSchmauss 6 лет назад +550

      If you ever needed proof that conservative baby boomers don't have clue what triggers are, this is it.

    • @jaeldi
      @jaeldi 6 лет назад +359

      and worse, then later makes fun of weak liberals who couldn't handle the psychological aspects of a combat situation. Hypocrite much? lol. I guess some people are just mentally strong and some aren't. /s

    • @Magic_beans_
      @Magic_beans_ 6 лет назад +163

      But that's different because he's a WARRIOR.

    • @Hjtrne
      @Hjtrne 6 лет назад +14

      Makes fun of people requiring special treatment due to easily being triggered*...... *main character doesn't do that.
      (And judging by what was read in the video, the main character doesn't have PTSD).

  • @vicenteisaaclopezvaldez2450
    @vicenteisaaclopezvaldez2450 3 года назад +4678

    I just kept visualizing Jake getting bigger throught the book.

    • @frogofalltime
      @frogofalltime 3 года назад +205

      Jake is No-Face from Spirited Away only instead of eating the other spirits in the bathhouse, he eats "liberal snowflakes"

    • @Dixondoesthesektur
      @Dixondoesthesektur 3 года назад +66

      By the end of the story he’s 6’8

    • @Pengi_SMILES
      @Pengi_SMILES 3 года назад +79

      @@Dixondoesthesektur unfortunately, his true height is significantly less. Like his military career, and the events of this book. These are mere figments of Jakes imagination. Phantoms that fill his mind as he types out vitriol on messageboards from his Mums basement.

    • @jerm_xd1887
      @jerm_xd1887 3 года назад +3

      Literally same here lol

    • @Dracobyte
      @Dracobyte 3 года назад +2

      Like a Bloodborne character?

  • @bighugejake
    @bighugejake 5 лет назад +7677

    Finally, my username applies to something.

  • @auberus1
    @auberus1 2 года назад +747

    I googled “pajama boys insult” for you, and it refers to a character in a 2013 infomercial promoting Obamacare. It’s obscure af, and its use has convinced me that this book is not actually satire. Conservatives really think this way, god help us.

    • @UniquaDaBackyardigan
      @UniquaDaBackyardigan 2 года назад +27

      @@chestercopperpot777 long rant for someone busy taking care of their family and working 10 hour days.👍🏼

    • @monique911
      @monique911 2 года назад

      @@chestercopperpot777😂where are you getting that chimps type 2 words per minute with…sticks?
      You’ve seriously been crying all over this video. THIS is your 10 hour work day.
      If you’re saying that that rant or any of your other rants took you a minute to type, you’re a liar.
      Lying is a sin.
      Go repent.

    • @fightvale57
      @fightvale57 Год назад +4

      Whoa. That's what pajama boy is

    • @tronnoadam
      @tronnoadam Год назад +1

      Pretty sure it's actually an Islanders fan taking a shot at John Tavares.

    • @buttnakedsnake9357
      @buttnakedsnake9357 9 месяцев назад

      Is this whole comment section just generalizations

  • @wintercaptain
    @wintercaptain 5 лет назад +2371

    The irony of a book mocking liberals for being triggered being about a guy who is being constantly triggered is hilarious

    • @maggiebee1005
      @maggiebee1005 5 лет назад +167

      Thats how most people who make triggered jokes are tbh lol

    • @lordhagfishii9192
      @lordhagfishii9192 5 лет назад +106

      It’s so funny 😂 they call liberals snowflakes but they are literally the biggest of snowflakes. They’ve become the very thing they’ve fought to destroy 😂

    • @LIZABETHYEAUX666
      @LIZABETHYEAUX666 5 лет назад +5

      Exactly

    • @nekrataali
      @nekrataali 5 лет назад +45

      I've been triggered myself, but never "Ima-write-a-900-page-rage-essay-about-how-totally-not-triggered-I-am" triggered lmao

    • @TheAdditionalPylons
      @TheAdditionalPylons 5 лет назад +1

      Literally? Literally the biggest snowflake?

  • @spawnofheck504
    @spawnofheck504 2 года назад +7492

    The mental image of a girl calling him a fascist and somehow summoning a mob to beat him into the ground is so iconic

    • @AlecNormal
      @AlecNormal 2 года назад +134

      @@gregoryford2532 both of yall's comments have me losing it lmao

    • @princessbunny80085
      @princessbunny80085 2 года назад +21

      @@AlecNormal fr oh my gaaabbbe I was thinking this and then the second comment made it better 😹

    • @PaulHofreiter
      @PaulHofreiter 2 года назад +3

      The next step of cancel culture is manifesting it into irl space hence the liberal foot clan appearing. You see it takes a very high IQ to interpret the events of this book and

    • @lettuce674
      @lettuce674 2 года назад +182

      it really happened i was the mob

    • @aud7593
      @aud7593 2 года назад +80

      @@lettuce674 it's true i was with lettuce

  • @joshuarodriguez617
    @joshuarodriguez617 6 лет назад +3196

    I love how "looking down on your peers" is played off like a positive trait.

    • @whatteamwildcats4033
      @whatteamwildcats4033 6 лет назад +177

      How else is everyone supposed to know that the mc is better than what the author considers mainstream?

    • @Gee-xb7rt
      @Gee-xb7rt 6 лет назад +13

      you obviously don't live in the South with the irredeemable white.

    • @thomasjenkins7506
      @thomasjenkins7506 6 лет назад +37

      @@Gee-xb7rt yeah, that wasn't a racist statement at all...

    • @thomasjenkins7506
      @thomasjenkins7506 6 лет назад +19

      @@Gee-xb7rt i don't argue with racists. bye.

    • @thomasjenkins7506
      @thomasjenkins7506 6 лет назад +22

      @floppydisk how would you react to someone saying "irredeemably black" or "irredeemably mexican"?

  • @henrygink
    @henrygink Год назад +767

    You gotta appreciate the author's backstory. I've never seen a conservative so careful with pronouns before.

    • @diosrightcalfmuscle4090
      @diosrightcalfmuscle4090 8 месяцев назад

      When conservatives ssy "i dont have pronouns" theyre usually just stupid. But Joe Johnstone goddamn means it

    • @alexwyatt2911
      @alexwyatt2911 4 месяца назад

      I’m deceased 😂

    • @bfish89ryuhayabusa
      @bfish89ryuhayabusa 2 месяца назад +2

      ​@@alexwyatt2911 just like the author

    • @alexwyatt2911
      @alexwyatt2911 2 месяца назад

      @@bfish89ryuhayabusa Is she deceased? I know her father is.

    • @bfish89ryuhayabusa
      @bfish89ryuhayabusa 2 месяца назад +1

      @@alexwyatt2911 William, the primary credited author is. It's being marketed as his book, completed by his niece, despite that being clearly not the case.

  • @natmorse-noland9133
    @natmorse-noland9133 4 года назад +2033

    I'm not saying that Professor Mtumbo has the physical description of an antisemitic caricature, but Professor Mtumbo has the physical description of an antisemitic caricature.

    • @henryhammond7393
      @henryhammond7393 4 года назад +92

      Huh, I just kept picturing him as a male Jenny given her reaction to his description.

    • @SamAronow
      @SamAronow 4 года назад +183

      An antisemitic caricature with an incredibly WASPy upper-class birth name and background. It's like those old American political cartoons from the 19th century that portray the Pope as a Jewish stereotype to make him scarier.

    • @henryhammond7393
      @henryhammond7393 4 года назад +20

      Sam Aronow Jewish Pope? Now I’m all confused...

    • @SamAronow
      @SamAronow 4 года назад +126

      Henry Hammond So was the cartoonist.

    • @availanila
      @availanila 4 года назад +96

      Also his name implies he's corrupt, lacks vision, not self aware, short sighted in thought, etc. in East Africa. It's a name used to imply something since it means intestines which is a callback to gluttony

  • @joywolfe.
    @joywolfe. 5 лет назад +2373

    Jake: A warrior, but also a PHILOSOPHER
    Also Jake: It might be racist, but I tense up when I see Middle Eastern people

    • @beefcakesmchunkerson9079
      @beefcakesmchunkerson9079 4 года назад +224

      Johnny Rohlf middle eastern person: *exists*
      Jake: IM TRIGGERED

    • @satqur
      @satqur 4 года назад +237

      Jake: Unlike you snowflakes, I don't get "triggered"
      *sees brown person*
      Jake: *T R I G G E R E D*

    • @maxthepaladin2147
      @maxthepaladin2147 4 года назад +147

      Jake: I might be racist
      Whoever was listening to him: ...but?
      Jake: But what? That's it

    • @angelikaskoroszyn8495
      @angelikaskoroszyn8495 4 года назад +90

      He jokes about people getting constantly triggered while he himself exhibits typical PTSD symptoms

    • @sholem_bond
      @sholem_bond 4 года назад +13

      @HolyBird007 Yeah, rewatching this (yet again) that occurred to me (actually for the first time, whoops).
      Jake gets flashbacks, and doesn't feel safe without having weapons/access to weapons. You could interpret the "Jake is uncomfortable when he sees a Middle Eastern person" thing as his untreated PTSD (because we never see him go to therapy/a support group) turning this into some kind of racist phobia, where he's fixated on Arab or Middle Eastern PoC so much due to his experience with them overseas/in the battlefield that that's 100% what he associates them with (enabled by racial attitudes he learned from American culture, which his time in military service really drilled in extra-hard?). He's still a dick, obviously, but it kind of exposes how (at least for this author/their fans) the role of the ideal, masculine man is actually a deeply damaged/unstable person.

  • @jlb8111
    @jlb8111 4 года назад +4536

    This whole book has the same energy as my 10-year-old brother insisting he'd stay stone-cold during those action film torture scenes if it were him instead of the hero

    • @frog1405
      @frog1405 3 года назад +431

      Finally a description for this book that fully describes it.

    • @silent-hills
      @silent-hills 3 года назад +181

      This,,.this is actually, like, extremely accurate omg lol

    • @Otie64
      @Otie64 3 года назад +59

      laughing so fucking hard, i haven't even watched the video yet but this description is so funny / edit: have now, jesus christ this is apt lol

    • @thefatherinthecave943
      @thefatherinthecave943 3 года назад +103

      “They pulled my skin off. I just shrugged and asked for a cigarette”

    • @lsmmoore1
      @lsmmoore1 3 года назад +24

      Pretty sure even people who DO resist torture usually don't stay stone-cold throughout it (and even if they do, the "stone cold" could be catatonia or some other brain condition and not really what it appears to be - that or the torture being done in such a way it allows very little avenue for reaction and creating what is effectively a "living death" and the closest IRL thing you could possibly imagine to an evil witch turning you into a doll or other inanimate object, which, yes, is a thing that happens, perhaps especially when the torture is done in an abusive facility in the name of "improving behavior", like the troubled teen industry or Judge Rotenberg Center).

  • @alicethemad1613
    @alicethemad1613 Год назад +586

    I love how Chief McRainey is like “ugh here come the feds, they’re going to try to take all the glory from us local cops and take over the whole investigation” when he’s literally the campus police. That’s like a bombing happening at a strip mall and the mall cop being upset that a SWAT team showed up.

    • @maxwellpaynewell5305
      @maxwellpaynewell5305 Год назад +47

      Isn't that the plot of Paul Blart

    • @guyanomaly
      @guyanomaly 7 месяцев назад +25

      having once worked in proximity to campus police, that is pretty true to how they actually see themselves

  • @crowe3301
    @crowe3301 5 лет назад +812

    Being tasered: Sentence long, intense, vivid description
    Protagonist: big

  • @jesseturner6785
    @jesseturner6785 6 лет назад +795

    "Since we heard about her breasts, I assume that was flirting." I feel like that could be the title of a dissertation.

  • @Vmvmvmvmvn
    @Vmvmvmvmvn 5 лет назад +3688

    Is this conservative hentai?

    • @theplebeian2706
      @theplebeian2706 5 лет назад +54

      This comment deserves notice!

    • @thatonestormtrooper2760
      @thatonestormtrooper2760 5 лет назад +133

      This is as steamy as conservatives get

    • @Kay-wp8xf
      @Kay-wp8xf 5 лет назад +98

      As someone who has attended a southern Baptist church for 20 years, yes. Yes it is.

    • @Dreigonix
      @Dreigonix 5 лет назад +12

      So basically, it’s a parody. Thank goodness.

    • @IamMissPronounced
      @IamMissPronounced 5 лет назад +36

      I thought conservatives already liked hentai.... Although to be fair, they only appreciate it in private

  • @GarmrKiDar
    @GarmrKiDar 2 года назад +302

    6:03 Gotta respect how the author asked herself what kind of character her target audience would find appealing, and came up with a guy that takes two to five minutes to decipher visual information and 0.03 seconds to formulate assumptions

  • @petrelli231
    @petrelli231 5 лет назад +2300

    I just realized that Jake says he took "his maternal grandfather's name" as opposed to his mother's, because that would not be macho enough.

    • @TheAutomaton37
      @TheAutomaton37 5 лет назад +251

      Soooo...my mother's maiden name. Perfect

    • @chapsticker
      @chapsticker 5 лет назад +81

      Jesus Christ you’re right

    • @radiatorbacon5239
      @radiatorbacon5239 5 лет назад +127

      Wow I didn't even realize that because I haven't been thinking much about the logistics of this book but you're right. God masculinity is so fragile 😭

    • @radiatorbacon5239
      @radiatorbacon5239 5 лет назад +35

      @TooLateToTheStory yup I realized that but my comment still stands because of the fragile masculinity if the readers.

    • @torfinnzempel6123
      @torfinnzempel6123 5 лет назад +27

      @@TheAutomaton37 I was just about to say that technically maternal grandfather was the correct way to say it, but nope, mother's maiden name is actually the correct nomenclature.

  • @beestarjay
    @beestarjay 4 года назад +1685

    I'm imagining Jake is built like Kingpin from Spiderverse

  • @il2xbox
    @il2xbox 4 года назад +1990

    This book sounds like the author's entire understanding of what colleges are like, and what liberalism is, came from watching one Ben Shapiro video

    • @johnlock572
      @johnlock572 4 года назад +31

      Learning about her biography at the end, I think it's not even so bad that the author might hold this view but she's writing for an audience who do

    • @davidk7439
      @davidk7439 4 года назад +103

      I.e A high school where you supposedly get bullied for existing as a white man and helping a woman when she's being assaulted. Also, antifa super soldiers.
      I noticed that when I started going to college, I started to lean way more left, not because of the teachers trying to drill it into me or anything, but just because it makes everyone's day easier. Pretty much everyone's there to get their classes done, to transfer or get a degree, and thinking that maybe "fellow gays aren't bad" or "women are as good as men" helps everybody out way more than being 'that guy' and stopping to go on a weird conservative tangent or trying to trick the teacher into some Shapiro "gotcha" trap.
      The point is, Conservatives who constantly whine about being bullied or "persecuted" for their beliefs on campus either don't actually go to college, or genuinely perceive classmates expressing annoyance at their bigoted opinions as "bullying".
      Truly, the totally-not-snowflakiest political group is unflappable.

    • @elizabethbennet4791
      @elizabethbennet4791 4 года назад +29

      Ben Shapiro wrote an equally horrific book too

    • @Woodenfan
      @Woodenfan 4 года назад +41

      @@davidk7439 As someone who used to be like that back in early undergrad, you really hit the nail on the head.
      Wasn't fun, being that one nag who was like "but ACKSHUALLY". Got out of that phase by around 2016-2017.

    • @ValerieEnriquez
      @ValerieEnriquez 4 года назад +19

      @@elizabethbennet4791 Robert Evans does some great dramatic readings of it on his podcast Behind the Bastards. Benny has a weird preoccupation with stating the exact heights of every character.

  • @draguladriver
    @draguladriver 2 года назад +735

    it's extremely easy to realize that this entire book is just some sort of power fantasy for the author, it's literally like the adult equivalent of a little kid drawing a buff guy labeled "me (cool)" next to an angry stick figure labeled "timmy (is stinky and stole my red crayon)"

    • @zelaird8526
      @zelaird8526 Год назад +121

      "me" (big)

    • @reaganrambles1951
      @reaganrambles1951 Год назад +28

      While that might be an easy assumption to make, I don’t think you watched this video to the end.

    • @RachelRichards
      @RachelRichards Год назад

      The author is a woman.

    • @atomheartother
      @atomheartother Год назад +52

      ​@@reaganrambles1951actually I can't find it anymore but there was a comment on here from a trans man saying they kept thinking this book read like a closeted trans man's power fantasy throughout the video, only to be surprised by the end of the video. Make that what you will.

    • @g.e.9227
      @g.e.9227 Год назад +14

      vouch-- everything about this from the bigness to the defensive masculinity to way natalie is described in her character introduction to the way jake talks about taking his own name from a male relative screams repressed conservative middle aged trans man@@atomheartother
      edit: dghldkgdjf also how similar 'jake' is to JA's name and the extremely tersely maintained lack of pronouns in the author bio

  • @classicsubmarineguy5477
    @classicsubmarineguy5477 6 лет назад +10699

    This is a good novel, touching on all the important issues. My only criticism is that Jake the protagonist could have been bigger. You know, for realism.

    • @ThisguyQuake
      @ThisguyQuake 6 лет назад +67

      classic submarine guy literally lol good job.

    • @ThisguyQuake
      @ThisguyQuake 6 лет назад +318

      I would say they should basically make Jake King Kong but then I remember King Kong was black.

    • @mdr48371
      @mdr48371 6 лет назад +380

      Look for Trigger Warning 2: The Embiggening in 2019

    • @mojoforthewin3069
      @mojoforthewin3069 6 лет назад +188

      William W. Johnstone and the Absolute Size of this Lad

    • @mariokarter13
      @mariokarter13 6 лет назад +103

      I'm still trying to get over the shock of finding an actual published work that's anti-SJW cringe in current year.

  • @NerdSyncProductions
    @NerdSyncProductions 6 лет назад +14478

    Watching this for a second time because Jake is too big for just one viewing.

    • @belurso5179
      @belurso5179 6 лет назад +61

      NerdSync inb4 someone adapts this into a comic.

    • @thetramp123
      @thetramp123 6 лет назад +58

      Big as a horse!

    • @narratormusic3164
      @narratormusic3164 6 лет назад +14

      Cool to see on left tube. Did you see philosophy tubes video on the housing crisis?

    • @ms_accel
      @ms_accel 5 лет назад +96

      My headcanon is that Jake is 12 feet tall and wide enough that he has to squeeze through the average doorway

    • @jam9484
      @jam9484 5 лет назад

      Nope. Two minutes shy.

  • @xanderguyer7512
    @xanderguyer7512 4 года назад +4189

    Jakes be like "oh antifa is a dangerous terorrist organization, but they're also a bunch of snowflakes with brightly colored hair, but they're also an organized team of ninjas wielding improvized weapons, but theyre also a bunch of soyboys"

    • @HeloisGevit
      @HeloisGevit 4 года назад +921

      The fascist dilemma. The enemy must be strong enough to threaten us with annihilation but also very weak because we are the greatest people that ever was!

    • @vaiyt
      @vaiyt 4 года назад +322

      @@HeloisGevit The enemy must be devious and intimidating to justify us "retaliating" with extreme violence and also to make us look better when we "win".

    • @dudeidontcare3430
      @dudeidontcare3430 4 года назад +20

      antifa are mostly a bunch of drug addicts and bougie rich kids that never get arrested for the shit they pull

    • @maxlap7855
      @maxlap7855 4 года назад +295

      @@dudeidontcare3430 ok. You can get back on /pol/ now.

    • @Smilephile
      @Smilephile 4 года назад +14

      @@maxlap7855 pol boogie man

  • @lizabethhampton4537
    @lizabethhampton4537 2 года назад +251

    "I always had really unkind thoughts about the Zodiac Killer." is a helluva line to hear when you're revisiting this video for the first time in ages.

    • @noalowenstein6741
      @noalowenstein6741 10 месяцев назад +8

      yeah what does Jenny have against Ted Cruz 😕

  • @DumandsONE
    @DumandsONE 6 лет назад +640

    "Jake isn't triggered"
    *Legit gets triggered in the first page of chapter 2*

  • @nekoprankster2184
    @nekoprankster2184 4 года назад +1809

    "William authored 400+ books."
    "And William is also dead."
    "And the real person who wrote this book was a woman pretending to be a man."
    *the backstory of this book is even better than the book itself*

    • @ShadowSonic2
      @ShadowSonic2 4 года назад +245

      Johnstone's actual history is better. He apparently got kicked out of the French Foreign Legion and the joined the circus before becoming a Radio Host and then a Sheriff.
      THEN an author.

    • @olivialanc9035
      @olivialanc9035 4 года назад +11

      HUH

    • @iusethisnameformygoogleacc1013
      @iusethisnameformygoogleacc1013 4 года назад +54

      @@ShadowSonic2 Jesus, aren't the Foreign Legion supposed to be the people that take anyone? Like...fucking anyone, to the point that they're a common choice for people on the run from some country's police and most are deployed without learning how to shoot properly? From the stories I've heard from people in the Legion, that sounds like it would Have to be really hard. Like...there are people in there now who have been beaten by their superiors to the point that they needed to stay in a hospital for six months, and multiple people that threatened to kill that superior if he didn't stop the beating that also all kept their job. It's hard to imagine what's over that particular line.

    • @BartMassey-PO8
      @BartMassey-PO8 4 года назад +78

      My hunch is that long ago, perhaps sometime in the 1990s, William Johnstone became a house author; a pen name used by a bunch of writers coordinated by J.A. Johnstone. This was a pretty common thing back in the day: "Franklin Dixon" (Hardy Boys) is a good example. This would also help explain some of the genre-switching and the like. I don't find 200 novels (the number published before or soon after his death) in about 20 years to be a particularly plausible output level for one or two people.

    • @iusethisnameformygoogleacc1013
      @iusethisnameformygoogleacc1013 4 года назад +44

      @@BartMassey-PO8 Agreed; it's definitely a name employed by multiple ghost writers. A minimum of 330 books in sixteen years (fuck, even thirty years) is a completely ridiculous level of output from a single human being. It would easily make her the single most prolific fiction author in human history. L Ron Hubbard ranks pretty high on that particular list and he only ever managed to write something like 500,000 words in his entire career, something he achieved by publishing in pulp magazines in an era where literally never reading back (much less editing) anything because no one would care in a month was a viable strategy. Like...this is bad, but even this isn't even close to the standard of writing you'd expect from a novel written in its entirety in a couple of days.

  • @lennonbrooks1083
    @lennonbrooks1083 6 лет назад +1423

    This book is like a baby boomer's Facebook rant about millennials

    • @bathoryaria4127
      @bathoryaria4127 6 лет назад +2

      Nice!

    • @iii8410
      @iii8410 5 лет назад +14

      Well, it is a Gen X-er's facebook rant, as William has been dead for 15 years and his probably niece continues to write

    • @Eighteenhundred87
      @Eighteenhundred87 5 лет назад +19

      ...writing terrible conservative fanfic to own the libs.

    • @parker469a
      @parker469a 5 лет назад +13

      I get so annoyed when a baby boomer pulls that "My generation is so much better" and then goes own a rant that actually proves they were completely the same but wore more hairspray when they did the same things.

    • @henryhammond7393
      @henryhammond7393 5 лет назад +1

      Just with fewer grammatical and spelling errors.

  • @hellaradusername
    @hellaradusername Год назад +175

    This whole book is a great example of making up a guy and getting mad at him

  • @mfraye12
    @mfraye12 4 года назад +1969

    "He doesn't need a 'safe space'."
    It.... it kind of sounds like he does.

    • @derp195
      @derp195 4 года назад +173

      That's the key here. Whatever they are, they accuse you of being.
      "You're such a snowflake" says the person so offended that they need to attack others.
      "tRigGereD" says the person who has been triggered.

    • @sadrabbit53
      @sadrabbit53 4 года назад +70

      @@derp195 I find that many in this crowd tend to project. Take the current (but not for long) president...

    • @derp195
      @derp195 4 года назад +133

      @@sadrabbit53 Exactly. "They're trying to rig the election!" **furiously tries to rig the election**

    • @moody5763
      @moody5763 4 года назад +7

      @@sadrabbit53 Not all of us who lean right are like this, promise

    • @sadrabbit53
      @sadrabbit53 4 года назад +17

      @@moody5763 Oh I know! My dad's whole side of the family is conservative and the ones I know personally are fine.

  • @CaptainZaimon
    @CaptainZaimon 2 года назад +8011

    For somebody who's "not triggered by microaggression", the protagonist sure spends a lot of time whining about his classmates being liberals and saying funny internet words

    • @maxsync183
      @maxsync183 2 года назад +551

      "I am not upset" - the thesis

    • @allnaturalfigjam310
      @allnaturalfigjam310 2 года назад +178

      @@saphriaflaans462 to some people coherent thought and empathy ARE microaggressions

    • @kaylynns8878
      @kaylynns8878 2 года назад +198

      this is more towards the author (or the type of person the author might be trying to imitate) but, I love the recursive mental acrobatics involved with someone getting triggered by the concept of triggering and not seeing the irony.

    • @Grim_Sister
      @Grim_Sister 2 года назад +84

      This reeks of “how do you do, fellow kids?” Energy 🤣

    • @leiajiang7877
      @leiajiang7877 2 года назад +65

      The "iM nOT lIKe tHosE othER BOIs"

  • @jarmarmarn4323
    @jarmarmarn4323 6 лет назад +2334

    This is a big, good-sized video

    • @solarprogeny6736
      @solarprogeny6736 6 лет назад +25

      It is very much the size of good

    • @thickblacklava760
      @thickblacklava760 6 лет назад +11

      It's big enough

    • @jarmarmarn4323
      @jarmarmarn4323 6 лет назад +9

      @@thickblacklava760 hu-AAAAAAAHHHH
      AHHHHHHH
      AHHHHHHHH
      AHH-EEEEE-AAAAA-EEEE-AAAA-EEEEE-AAAA
      HWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

    • @deffdefying4803
      @deffdefying4803 5 лет назад +6

      @@jarmarmarn4323 ... are you ok?

    • @jarmarmarn4323
      @jarmarmarn4323 5 лет назад

      @@deffdefying4803 I'm guessing the video "Big Enough" isn't on your radar then?

  • @octodaddy1602
    @octodaddy1602 11 месяцев назад +77

    Dust jacket states that Jake doesn't get triggered. Jake proceeds to get triggered in literally the first scene. This book is a masterpiece

  • @bogunicorn
    @bogunicorn 5 лет назад +651

    "These kids won't get over being in a shooting, not like me, who isn't traumatized from being shot at and doesn't have flashbacks ever."

  • @samer8637
    @samer8637 6 лет назад +4031

    I would have really enjoyed omniscient narrator referencing everything to just how big it is in comparison to Jake.
    "Jake entered the Math building, which was at least 15 Good-sized Jakes stacked on top of each other."

    • @_chococat_
      @_chococat_ 6 лет назад +61

      Luke Manning I’m snorting

    • @l0333
      @l0333 6 лет назад +27

      Best Comment Ever.

    • @ArchenOpteryx
      @ArchenOpteryx 4 года назад +31

      Someone should make a second draft

    • @justinkroboth360
      @justinkroboth360 4 года назад +114

      I'm assuming this university is in the US, so using anything other than metric to measure size seems wholly correct. "This clearly beta male was roughly about 0.63 Jakes in stature - he would be no problem for Jakes even on a bad day, which was any day that included reading."

    • @doctorwholover1012
      @doctorwholover1012 4 года назад +9

      Make Jake the new Kropog measuring system lol

  • @pedroduran2303
    @pedroduran2303 3 года назад +5184

    The most unrealistic part of this book is how he's supposedly a veteran but both his knees work and he doesn't have back pain

    • @Nothingtoseehere-eo7zq
      @Nothingtoseehere-eo7zq 3 года назад +489

      Also missing is 2 ex wives and a drinking problem funnily enough not caused by combat

    • @whiskeyblock100proof7
      @whiskeyblock100proof7 3 года назад +22

      Motrin yo

    • @willowtdog6449
      @willowtdog6449 3 года назад +205

      That's honestly tragic. This country does not treat it's armed forces or vets with the care and respect they deserve.

    • @Biiku_
      @Biiku_ 3 года назад +444

      I came out of my service a big ol' gay non-binary commie and even I came out with back pain and mental issues. Also, I can't fold laundry like a normal human and certain pitches of alarms and beeps make me taste metal.

    • @unhackerthelaziestbastardo6083
      @unhackerthelaziestbastardo6083 3 года назад +262

      An unrealistic part is that he's come out of the military with any level of patriotism for his country, which the book claims that he has.

  • @youseenednedisdead
    @youseenednedisdead Год назад +268

    if theres anything you can take away from this, it's that no matter HOW BAD you think your writing is, it can still get published and sold.

    • @BumboLooks
      @BumboLooks Год назад +4

      The goal is to make money dear....
      Not to please your primary school English teacher...

    • @youseenednedisdead
      @youseenednedisdead Год назад

      @@BumboLooks please ur nuts school nutz teacher

    • @catfan913
      @catfan913 10 месяцев назад +3

      if you're white and not poor, that is

    • @MaxLennon
      @MaxLennon 7 месяцев назад +9

      As long as you strongly imply it was written by your well-known uncle (who MIGHT not have died over a decade ago, who's to say)

    • @sw3aty_forte
      @sw3aty_forte 7 месяцев назад +1

      @@BumboLooks okay "dear"

  • @SummerGayle
    @SummerGayle 4 года назад +2208

    It’s the fact that the girl we are introduced to 19 minutes in has pockets deep enough for her to even put her hands in. Took me right out of the story

    • @subblonde3101
      @subblonde3101 4 года назад +3

      ??

    • @ariabeane7973
      @ariabeane7973 4 года назад +220

      @@subblonde3101 pockets in women's jeans are tiny as hell bruh 😔🤚. deep pockets is completely unrealistic lmaoo

    • @YonBaBa
      @YonBaBa 4 года назад +168

      Maybe she was wearing Jakes pants. Cuz you know, he’s big. Idk if you caught that from all the subtle clues.

    • @shannonfick7170
      @shannonfick7170 4 года назад +142

      Let’s not forget that she stood in a way that made her breasts stand out. You know. Like how all women purposely do whenever we’re talking a big strong man. Because that’s our priority. Not just standing in a comfortable position. Who does that?

    • @YonBaBa
      @YonBaBa 4 года назад +109

      Standing in a normal, comfortable position is for pajama soy boys. When I meet a woman I always instantly stand in a way to make my crotch stand out because freedom. 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

  • @TheMonkeystick
    @TheMonkeystick 4 года назад +3303

    I'm so glad you brought up Audie Murphy's struggle with PTSD. He's one of the main reasons why PTSD got destigmatized in the US. Usually when soldiers suffered from it, they were seen as cowards. But it's a bit hard to call a man as beloved and decorated as Audie Murphy a coward, so when he started getting very public with his PTSD, it helped a lot of people see the disease in a new light.
    The sheer audacity for the author to bring him up and praise him without mentioning his PTSD in a book sarcastically called "trigger warning" tho...

    • @swimmyswim417
      @swimmyswim417 4 года назад +417

      It’d actually be a cool idea, if “Trigger Warning” started off as a right-wing power fantasy but challenged the stigma against people who are sensitive to triggers and subverted the stereotypes associated with “special snowflakes” by referencing real people and utilizing characters that are paragons of manliness but open about their vulnerabilities.
      But I guess there’s no room for nuance when you’ve got a protagonist as B I G as Jake.

    • @TheMouseAvenger
      @TheMouseAvenger 4 года назад +83

      I didn't know that about Audie Murphy! :D That's really awesome! ^_^

    • @MC-pt8kv
      @MC-pt8kv 4 года назад +97

      @@TheMouseAvenger I couldn't help but read it as if you're saying that's great the Audie Murphy had PTSD. I know you didn't though and it made me laugh.

    • @callerunknown
      @callerunknown 4 года назад +15

      @@swimmyswim417 That actually sounds really cool, I would totally read that

    • @MarquisLeary34
      @MarquisLeary34 3 года назад +19

      Conservatives are often so blind to irony...

  • @s.bakyhnh1756
    @s.bakyhnh1756 5 лет назад +2522

    Unlike You SJWs I'm Not Easily Triggered and I Don't Care At All: A Novella.

    • @jordanthejq12
      @jordanthejq12 5 лет назад +105

      I, too, am familiar with such a Facebook group.

    • @theomegajuice8660
      @theomegajuice8660 5 лет назад +199

      I don't care and will now explain to you that I don't care over the course of the next 600 pages.

    • @mastermarkus5307
      @mastermarkus5307 5 лет назад +29

      Clearly it is a full-length novel in this case.

    • @IamMissPronounced
      @IamMissPronounced 5 лет назад +16

      @@mastermarkus5307 that's even worse

    • @WingItMan217
      @WingItMan217 5 лет назад +18

      The most delicious plate of hypocrisy I’ve ever seen

  • @BrennaBridRogers
    @BrennaBridRogers Год назад +484

    My favorite part was when Jake said "it's biggin time" and then bigged all over the shooters

    • @diosrightcalfmuscle4090
      @diosrightcalfmuscle4090 Год назад +14

      He's like a thwomp

    • @luxqueenmina
      @luxqueenmina 5 месяцев назад +1

      PLEASE im recovering from knee surgery and i woke up from my meds wearing off and it’s hurting just oh so bad rn so while i wait for my meds to kick in i came to these comments to distract myself and this one sent me over the edge for some reason this is so funny im sobbing 😂😂😂

  • @jessiec668
    @jessiec668 5 лет назад +1509

    For a bunch of "snowflakes", the people on Jake's campus are surprisingly eager to jump into violence at the drop of a hat

    • @jessiec668
      @jessiec668 5 лет назад +66

      Just lost it every time Dog was mentioned

    • @lavenderscare4995
      @lavenderscare4995 5 лет назад +154

      I still think the best part was that after saving his fellow college student, random antifa-esque agents just kind of rush him with chains and pipes immediately. I know it was a "corrdinated strike" on a dangerous big boy, but in the moment that was golden.

    • @IamMissPronounced
      @IamMissPronounced 5 лет назад +10

      Yeah they really are fragile, jumping at the brave MAGA man's throat.....

    • @KRSorba
      @KRSorba 5 лет назад +6

      @@rezalustig6773 Ah yes. Good ol' 1984 coming in clutch.

    • @TheBonkleFox
      @TheBonkleFox 5 лет назад +6

      @@lavenderscare4995 The antifa ninjas are the best part of this book.

  • @Sarah27H
    @Sarah27H 3 года назад +4587

    What's most offensive to me about this book is that the author didn't realize emergency exit signs are independently powered so they don't go out if there's a power outage... Because they're emergency lights....... If they go out during an emergency, it kinda defeats the purpose...

    • @fuckamericanidiot
      @fuckamericanidiot 3 года назад +21

      You read it?

    • @kimberlybridges8591
      @kimberlybridges8591 3 года назад +123

      Huh, I never thought about that but of course it makes sense.

    • @danii8168
      @danii8168 3 года назад +89

      @@kimberlybridges8591 exactly my thought but I honestly would probably miss that detail writing this book, the author's ideas seemed at least to me plugged wayy too hard wayy to often as if the author was scared nobody would understand his ideology or what theme he's trying to convey.

    • @anastasiaaaaall
      @anastasiaaaaall 3 года назад +17

      I had this same thought lol, this book is so hilariously unrealistic

    • @Yllania
      @Yllania 3 года назад +6

      @@fuckamericanidiot You know grammar?

  • @dowitcher
    @dowitcher 4 года назад +4653

    Jake: Man, these people are traumatized by a very horrific act of terrorism. What a bunch of pansies.
    Also Jake: *suffers from PTSD*

    • @sweatyskeleton7390
      @sweatyskeleton7390 3 года назад +309

      Shhh, nobody tell him you have to go to a therapist or psychologist (you know, someone who's job description includes creating Safe Spaces) to get a PTSD diagnosis

    • @seneca1932
      @seneca1932 3 года назад +32

      Sweaty Skeleton, there’s a whole list of questions they ask you. After that, they talk to you.

    • @nosferados8402
      @nosferados8402 3 года назад +93

      "Cutting myself to own the the libs..."

    • @charityxu2364
      @charityxu2364 3 года назад +117

      Also Jake: gets triggered

    • @yeahgirl11
      @yeahgirl11 3 года назад +149

      @@charityxu2364 Nah, don't you know? ONLY veterans are allowed to get triggered, because the only PTSD that's valid is combat PTSD. /s

  • @shaharipudding9453
    @shaharipudding9453 7 месяцев назад +63

    My grandfather, who reads almost all of the Johnstone books, was surprised I knew who the actual author was of those books these days. Thanks for the street cred with my grandpa, Jenny!

  • @ariadnestyx1463
    @ariadnestyx1463 6 лет назад +687

    Maybe Jake is so big because he is many Jakes in a trenchcoat?

    • @cricketandkarma5129
      @cricketandkarma5129 6 лет назад +69

      Ariadne Griffin jakes DO need an education..

    • @keenoled
      @keenoled 6 лет назад +9

      I just scared the cat off the couch with my donkey bray lol

    • @BoomSlang001
      @BoomSlang001 6 лет назад +6

      You DO know that's CLEARLY 3 kids in a trenchcoat, RIGHT?!

    • @slikkity0productions
      @slikkity0productions 6 лет назад +3

      You’d need a really big trench coat.

    • @lavenderscare4995
      @lavenderscare4995 5 лет назад +1

      After all, Jake's are abnormally large, so even if they need three to make a complete big boy, there combination still makes quite the heccin chonker.

  • @ML-tr1hz
    @ML-tr1hz 5 лет назад +2320

    This whole book reads like that one tumblr post where someone claimed they were beat up by a bus full of people wearing "down with cis" shirts

    • @thefirsttime7759
      @thefirsttime7759 5 лет назад +21

      @Maple lord 4 chan isnt alt right

    • @fern5505
      @fern5505 5 лет назад +3

      TheFirstTime
      God, I wish that was me

    • @aarishowton8037
      @aarishowton8037 5 лет назад +73

      TheFirstTime I’d google ‘4 Chan alt right’ if I were you. Hate speech there has spiked by 40% since 2015. They’ve been widely considered overrun with alt right and alt trolls for a while.

    • @Ryujin713
      @Ryujin713 5 лет назад +41

      hey, that was real! i was there and everyone was clapping

    • @rebekab1579
      @rebekab1579 5 лет назад +9

      oh gOD i forgot that post existed

  • @inbach
    @inbach 3 года назад +3251

    The best part for me was when Jake laughed at the "snowflakes" having PTSD from the shooting, while clearly having PTSD himself from the war (My guess is the author doesn't know "shell shock" is actually PTSD)

    • @thesigmamale2134
      @thesigmamale2134 3 года назад +25

      Let me clear this up for you being shell shocked is actually a myth it was actually a tactic used by the left to create a new type of effeminate man and cut them out of work force in order to increase the amount of women in the work force. They used it so the females could dominate the men it truly is tragic.

    • @TaraCarmelina
      @TaraCarmelina 3 года назад +388

      @@thesigmamale2134 “it truly is tragic”, oh stfu, and go outside. Women aren’t dominated males in anything. And “effeminate man”, again just stfu. You’re so focused on enforcing the idea of masculinity onto every man, just mind ur business and stfu. What’s wrong with femininity? Are you implying it’s weak? I would engage in a rational debate but honestly you’re so far gone

    • @thesigmamale2134
      @thesigmamale2134 3 года назад +13

      @@TaraCarmelina I do go outside every day I expose myself to the true horrors of this world I'm the modern day napoleon my campaigns are dangerous and righteous. If you truly think that there isn't a movement for women to dominate men you clearly haven't been paying attention.
      I am indeed saying femininity is weak should be stomped out of every man as soon as even a hint of it is discovered.
      You couldn't even engage in a rational debate you are so scared of your twisted worldview crumbling you would do anything to keep it up even if you have to fill the cracks and holes with lies you simply dont care but I must warn you my friend that house will come crashing down one day and no lies could possibly rebuild the house.

    • @apophis7712
      @apophis7712 3 года назад +431

      @@thesigmamale2134
      I genuinely cannot tell if you're being sincere. Your username combined with the dumb shit you're saying looks like a parody I would write.

    • @thatguythere6161
      @thatguythere6161 3 года назад +145

      ​@@thesigmamale2134 If you're going to tell me things, and not use evidence, then you should at least try to make what you say make sense

  • @isabellerandall4497
    @isabellerandall4497 Год назад +314

    If you had said Onision wrote this I would’ve believed you

    • @prince_of_cats
      @prince_of_cats Год назад +28

      Or Ben Shapiro tbh

    • @ShakedownDreams
      @ShakedownDreams Год назад +58

      I wouldn't, not enough scenes of the self insert protag being really weird with underage characters

    • @misterkingdom3571
      @misterkingdom3571 Год назад +23

      It’s not set in high school.

    • @SpellboundSpectre
      @SpellboundSpectre Год назад

      @@misterkingdom3571*elementary*

    • @Owen_013
      @Owen_013 Год назад +6

      nah, even this is too well written to be onion boy

  • @anarchofairy9400
    @anarchofairy9400 6 лет назад +3346

    imagine writing a whole book mocking the left for trigger warnings, microaggressions, and safe spaces without understanding what a single one of those words mean.

    • @gerbill13
      @gerbill13 6 лет назад +110

      it reads Like a parrody bit i can see it be real.

    • @SL-ul3yr
      @SL-ul3yr 6 лет назад +480

      In the author's defense, he is a very big man. Too big to understand the concept of micro-anything. Cuz big yknow.
      he big

    • @ZoeSquared21
      @ZoeSquared21 6 лет назад +211

      And insinuating that microaggression means aggression from a small person.

    • @doctorhandsome
      @doctorhandsome 6 лет назад +169

      I love how she's unable to use any of those words in a sentence, to the point where she just straight-up says Jake overheard those specific words in an undefined conversation with zero context.

    • @illusoryVice
      @illusoryVice 6 лет назад +189

      Imagine writing a book calling everyone special snowflakes, then outright saying that your oh-so-special protagonist isn't like 99.9% of the people around him. (I'm starting to wonder if this all wasn't one big troll scheme.)

  • @josephwait7384
    @josephwait7384 3 года назад +3724

    So....I left youtube running last night when I fell asleep. I woke up at 3 am to a deep dive into the vampire diaries from a youtuber I'd never seen before. I'm a 40 year old plumber. I have no interest in the vampire diaries. But damn if I didn't go back to bed instead staying up to watch not only your vampire diaries video....but many others. So cheers to one of the most random subscribes I've given and you might get. Keep being you.

    • @personne980
      @personne980 3 года назад +413

      Wait no this is the most wholesome comment I’ve ever read, you seem so sweet 🥲 hopefully her videos are still entertaining you!

    • @SirJenkz
      @SirJenkz 3 года назад +48

      🥺🥺🥺🥺

    • @kingdowner2112
      @kingdowner2112 3 года назад +179

      Shoutout plumbers man

    • @Cute___E
      @Cute___E 3 года назад +96

      This is maybe myfavorite comment on RUclips

    • @aleahuggins
      @aleahuggins 3 года назад +122

      I also found Jenny's channel after waking up extremely early in the morning to the Vampire Diaries video playing on RUclips. What a random and wonderful surprise! She is my new favorite content creator. ❤

  • @murph64
    @murph64 Год назад +151

    I want Natalie to come back in every horsedog sequel, and she gets swept up in whatever terrorist group Jake is confronting and ends up betraying him and getting shot and arrested. Inexplicably she’d be free again at the start of each book, obviously

  • @NIN10DOXD
    @NIN10DOXD 4 года назад +1524

    My headcanon is that Jake did all this while wearing Khakis.

    • @missfayz4523
      @missfayz4523 4 года назад +111

      But those with extra pockets so the big man can carry all his little deadly knives around comfortablely.😂👏

    • @alinaamadorloyola184
      @alinaamadorloyola184 4 года назад +15

      these comment is severely underrated, 10/10

    • @Phoenix-nk8tg
      @Phoenix-nk8tg 4 года назад +30

      Jake from state farm

    • @Samookely
      @Samookely 4 года назад +11

      does he happen to work at state farm too?

    • @paxcallow
      @paxcallow 4 года назад +4

      excuse me it's spelled jakes

  • @isaacbear7115
    @isaacbear7115 5 лет назад +1907

    Jake. An absolute unit. So big. I would get Jake tattooed on my arm, but I am afraid my weak liberal snowflake arms arent big enough to hold the sheer bigness of Jake.

    • @theomegajuice8660
      @theomegajuice8660 5 лет назад +56

      I guarantee that the author is 5 foot 8 and is really sensitive about it.

    • @wmiller2811
      @wmiller2811 5 лет назад +68

      Unlike Jake, who you must be reminded, is 50 foot 8
      @@theomegajuice8660

    • @yusufkadar
      @yusufkadar 5 лет назад +4

      You're right to be afraid

    • @JustASammy12345
      @JustASammy12345 5 лет назад +10

      Jake is so big, that he’s really big.

    • @yakketyyak6414
      @yakketyyak6414 5 лет назад +15

      even the strongest of non-special conservatives quail at the bigness of big jake

  • @SayHelloHelli
    @SayHelloHelli 6 лет назад +1571

    “Nowhere near dying” I’m gonna use that compliment next time I see my grandma

    • @888pil
      @888pil 6 лет назад +14

      woah jenny reads her comments now?

    • @nickbell8353
      @nickbell8353 5 лет назад +6

      That's right up there with "I ain't got time to bleed."

  • @roguecypress
    @roguecypress Год назад +62

    The fact that this was published makes me regret overthinking my writing so much