When people say rape victims “were asking for it” I always come in and say “Did my 12 year old self ask for it wearing my required school uniform?” It shuts them up every time.
"You shouldn't have trusted him, and stay with your relatives" Bro it was my uncle Edit: a lot of people are opening and replying, i wish y’all the best, you are strong, we are strong.
Star Rose that’s one of the most annoying things I hear! Like it’s traumatic, and you could have so many reasons that you didn’t report. You could have not known what was going on, you could be scared they’d do it again, anything could happen!
I didn't report it because I remembered what it was like when I was taken and sexually assaulted on the bus heading to school! I went through hell with proof, cameras caught it, classmates watched it, everyone saw what happened. Yet the police had the nerve to say and I quote "you should see Precious, she's been through worse!" So when I was raped by an acquaintance with no proof, I was not going through a rape kit, or an interrogation, I'd deal with it differently cause the legal system left more wounds than that coward ever could.
Because I was a child and didn't know what was happening. Because of dissociative amnesia where i locked it away so it wouldn't hurt me, til I had flash backs, still can't remember all of it and that im grateful for.
Star Rose I told my adoptive mom the second time it happened and I told her what happened and she said it was my fault and wouldn’t let me report it. Then the 3rd time it happened I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t think they would believe me
My mom asked me why I didn't scream. What she doesn't get is that in my head I screaming so loud but my voice was gone and I didn't fight because everything froze .
That's the thing, people either fight or freeze when confronted with something traumatic. It does not make anyone less of a victim and survivor if they could not actively oppose the situation.
Anele Ntenjwa you are not alone, that’s a very common reaction and there was nothing you could’ve done to stop that. most people who haven’t experienced such trauma don’t understand how they would respond. it was not your fault
"why didn't you fight" Most people get shocked, they don't know how to react, because it's gross, because it's something that they didn't thought they'd go through, because it's really scary. That's why most people can't react.
@@tsuyuasui2494 That Sweetie is right, and that abuse victims have to suffer just as much at the hands/words of unaffected idiots/police/bloodsucking attorneys, as by the actual perpetrator. That the unaffected, actually play the victim when saying nonsense like "why didnt you fight" may not be evidently visible to some - but it is very disturbing to hear these things if you are affected by trauma. They need to hide behind their little view instead of asking honestly how these things go down, how and why. The way we are asked, is often so condescending that it might be just as satisfying to smack the perps as the "innocent" bystander conformist carbohydrate bags,.. We need to educate the masses a bit more about trauma, unless we want the world turn into shit.. 1 in 4 was abused at least once... Even if it were 1 in 20 only, those are HUGE NUMBERS of ticking timebombs... Yes, we are being treated like timebombs, because society the way it rolls, cant be bothered with social INCLUSION for victims... COuntless factors exclude em.. All the while the perps (if not sewed successfully) walk around free and privileged.. Of course they will never find peace... But i think we should help victims more - then we have less outbursts of chaos.. The whole process of our justice system does NOT help the victims, it often retraumatizes them in their most vulnerable moments.. Only survivors of such crimes and psychologists should formulate the laws and processes by which we can identify trauma, and hold perpetrators responsible. Our justice system enables crime on every level.. This is because the unaffected dont understand Trauma. So in a way, with these kinda crimes we need a different process.. Most survivors of childhood abuse CANNOT possibly know the details our justice system requires to catch criminals. As such what we do is, we basically bully the survivors, quench em into the most unbearable positions, and in the end it DOESNT EVEN SERVE JUSTICE. There are many ways by which we can determine things scientifically - psychologically and neurologically. We need a new system for THESE kinda crimes.. Either that, or we need a little purge... ;) It is not acceptable how many survivors have to deal with this SHIT system - all while the perps can walk around freely.. If we would for example be more open to topics like mobbing, we could easily psychologically assess who actually speaks he truth.. But scapegoating and mobbing is LITERALLY the ticket to heaven for judeao-christian doctrine. The term scapegoating as you may know actually stems from weird jewish ritual to "cast the sins of the community" on the head of an innocent goat and then send it into the desert (exclude it) so that it can die there.. That basically is the quintessential core of judaism and xtianity - god and the ppl need an innocent scapegoat and sacrificial lambs, so that their society can move on.. The notion that another should suffer for some1 elses shortcomings is the most heinous crime there is - and these ppl have a religion where THIS is actually their way to liberation... It makes me sick if i just think about it.. Most victims are unsure, and our justice system is a weird kinda popularity contest.. As such it is unfit for this world. A broken justice system desytroys social cohesion!! Destruction is often the consequence of that. English is not my native language, from your comment i can see why you were asking though... :D It wasnt clear whoom i was really critizing... So now its clear i hope ;) Maybe the normie problems (some would say not real problems at all) can be solved the old way - we need new ways of determination for certain types of crimes.. If we would go with what psychology found out last century, we wouldnt have that issue... But normies prefer to sell pharma ;^) PS: Normal comes from the term "norma", which means a carpenters measurement tool... So a normal one is what his masonic masters want him to be - normalized, ergo sick. Best regards, hold up
Summer Dais yes, love this! And also a simple "I'm here for you" is so empowering. We have to empower victims of sexual assault, that's the only way we can get more rapists behind bars.
I'm so glad they mentioned how sexual assault isn't about attractiveness or sexual intentions it's about power and vulnerability and no one seems to be aware of that.
No they absolutely do not play a role. Zero percent. Trust the victims and criminals, not the science documentaries you've watched on RUclips. This is never about attractiveness. It's about feeling like you control another human being and they will do anything you say out of fear. It's enjoying seeing that fear in the eyes of the victim and wanting more of it. It's literally torture.
@@pjemje "Don't trust science" Getting assaulted doesn't make you a boxing expert, getting robbed doesn't make you an expert on larceny statistics, why do people think getting raped makes you a rape expert
I truly hope that one day, people who have experienced sexual assault will not feel ashamed anymore because they are not guilty of anything. You are strong, your are brave, you didn't deserve that.
For that very reason, when I was raped by a man who broke into my apartment, I shouted it out to everyone I knew. He was really stupid and left fingerprints so he got 11 years in prison. My dad told me he didn't want to know about it because he felt bad that he couldn't protect me. I told him, the guy had a knife, how would you protect me? Two years after he got out of prison he assaulted another woman and that time he did cut her up. My testimony helped put him away for life.
wolf pack That’s extremely fucked up that people said that to you. You are a very brave person for coming forth. I’m keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong❤️❤️
Attention seeking? More like a call for help honestly. I can't stand people who say behaviors are attention seeking. Maybe people are seeking attention FOR A REASON?
This doesn't have to specifically relate to sexual assault, but anytime a person says "But you look so happy now" in a way that insinuates we're lying, I just think- "So I'm not allowed to heal? Or to move on? I'm supposed to just wallow in pain and self pity making myself feel miserable?"
@@danielpetkov3856 Okay but they totally are, I know from experience- the people who say "get over it" are the same people who act surprised when something terrible happens to you and you DO get over it
"you must've wanted it a little bit" that was said to me by the perpetrator, i was 8, 9, and 10. "why didn't you report it?" it was my stepbrother and he lived with me. i did report it when i was 13 and was told i was a liar and it was all in my head
C Gough I reported my uncle when I was four he did it over 50 times. I got adopted and told my adoptive mom what a different guy did and she said it was my fault and wouldn’t let me report it. When I was 16 it was a stranger and I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t think they would beleive me.
@@shaynakrutsch4941 damn I'm sorry, my mom never reported it when i told her and she actually blamed it on my uncle then gaslighted me into thinking i was brainwashed by my dad and that this story was all in my head. I'm sorry that happened to you i hope you are staying strong
"Why didn't you fight?" is one of the hardest questions to answer, because when you're asked that, you are forced to look back and think of all the possible ways you could've escaped. You then start to ask yourself that question too. "Why didn't I just run away? Why didn't I scream or call for help?" - It's honestly not that simple. When you're in that situation; when you are actually being assaulted; and when it's by a family member... Your mind doesn't, won't and can't work conventionally. So, if you're still reading up to this point, I want you to do something. That is: when a person tells you their story - when they have to relive all that pain and suffering, don't ask questions. Just listen. All these seemingly harmless questions linger in a person's mind and makes them regret not doing what they wish they had. So please, for my - and every other victim of sexual assault's sake: Just listen.
Cr33pycat: Thank you so much for posting this comment. I've always been uncomfortable about how to handle a situation to where a person would open up an assault story like this. I never knew what to say or how to react if the time would ever come, but now I know and it completely makes sense
Briana Muskus, You're welcome. I'm glad you took the time to read what I said and consider it. The best thing to do for someone - when the need arises - is to sit through it, don't ask for details, and let them know that they have a well of unconditional support from you. It makes all the difference. :)
Sometimes, when you find yourself in that situation, your mind just goes blank and you freeze, It's like a way your body has to try and block the horror you're going through, even if you remember everything afterwards. I think most people would totally have wanted to DO something about it, but they just couldn't. I couldn't.
It's well explained here. People have so many wrong assumptions what rape is like and what's it about. People are different and there is a variety of reactions. tvo.org/video/programs/the-agenda-with-steve-paikin/the-truth-about-trauma
I've known women and men who've been sexually assaulted, as children and adults, and their wildly varied stories only have ONE thing in common: the people (family/friends/police) who should've been helpful & supportive after the attack did more damage with questions & reactions like those mentioned here than the actual attacker. The victims get over the physical damage quickly, but the blame & lack of support stays with them for years, sometimes a lifetime.
Yes could not agree more @33 just realizing how much self blame I went through all my adult life and how it has stopped me from even knowing who I really am. Just now realized I need help. The closest people failed me and it was not the first time and it still hurts so so much.
Yes I agree!!! That's what really happens and because you didn't get support that time, you develop trust issues. And you don't get the closure needed to move on. Leaving you in this weird situation
My school had this talk where a women came in and talked about her experience. She says although she was young when she was raped, she never wears skirts or dresses because she wore a dress to a party and someone asked her if thats what she got raped in. Then a man came who said he was raped by a women who had drugged him. Someone next ti me said that it was FAKE, i dont talk to that person anymore. Rape isnt a gender thing. Men can get raped by women or men just as much as women can get raped by men or women. At the end of the talk the man got up, with a tear down his eye and said " Being raped dosent define who you are, but it defines who the rapist is" Then the women got up and said " Being raped dosent define who I am, but it defines what society thinks of me" This hit me. Well, i have anxiety issues, but this hit me.
There's something you've cleared up for me that for a long time I felt bad and confused about since society always said it was a guy raping a girl- rarely a girl raping a guy. But saying that a guy can rape a guy and a girl can rape a girl..just..thankyou for bringing that up..
Dj fandrus Actually people can orgasm during rape. It's an automatical reaction of the body. Denying it only makes people to whom it happened feel even more like it's their fault and they should be ashamed.
I was 8 years old and he was 14 I was playing and I lived in a apartment. He followed me in and he tried to touch me I was biting he hands and pushing him. He didn't success I fought for myself. My brother was 7 and he stod outside the door I was yelling for help. But luckily he didn't touch me. I told my mom, my mom told my dad. My dad talked to him and he said "I was just kidding with her"....
i was 5 or 6 and he was 11 or 12, people tell me it wasnt rape because of his age. idk about you, but i feel like 12 year olds know better than to rape someone.
I am 13 and I was sexually assaulted by one of my “friends”. I liked him because he was nice to me and he was cute of course. He kept telling me that I was beautiful. At school he would always tell me that he wanted to go outside or just meet up with me and we could “do things”. At the time, I didn’t think much of it and that I was mature and I could handle anything that happened. Once we had walked out he lead me into the woods almost (tall grass behind the school), he told me to get down, he was kind of intimidating and scary in a way, so I did. Then I kept saying “no,no I can’t.” Then he pushed my head. He also grabbed my butt, touched me and made me touch him even more. I knew it was wrong but I still didn’t leave. Once I went into school, this happened before school, I was called into the office and had to tell the principal ,my parents, and my grandma. And had to report it to the police so my principal wouldn’t get in trouble. This was the WORST experience of my life. Ever since then people at my school call me a hoe, slut, etc and that I wanted it. They say that I walked out there with him so it couldn’t have been rape. And tell me how disgusting I am. I have cried almost every night since then and it was in august. I also feel that it was my fault. And everyone knows me as the girl who is easy. I have also been asked by many other guys to( you can fill in the blank) or they say ,out loud in the halls, to never do anything with me because I’ll just cry rape. if you have read this far I hope you know that it isn’t ok to victim shame and that words do truly hurt. And that if you have been assaulted yourself that you CAN overcome it and that what happened to you doesn’t make who you are. ❤️
Karly Llorens~ Hey sweet girl, I am so sorry that happened to you. I'm sorry that people have been especially cruel and unkind to you after the fact. You absolutely did not deserve what happened to you and regardless of what any fool tries to tell you, this was not your fault. No different from any other person who has been sexually assaulted. Sexual assault, sexual abuse, and rape are more about power and control than sex. Sex is to rape like a kiss is to a punch in the mouth. Don't let anyone tear you down, sweet girl, and don't think that the ugly words they may call you or the ugly things they may tell you to do have any power over you. You still have YOU, precious one, and only you gets to decide who you are going forward. Be strong. You are strong. If no one in your family will help you get the counseling and help you desperately need and deserve now, please do NOT give up. Remind yourself every single day that you are strong, smart, and that you are beautiful, dammit. You can be the Phoenix who will rise above the ashes of this awful experience and rise above to become the You that you want to be. Try to find someone who is safe, who you can trust and try to get yourself some help. There are many rape hotlines and outreach programs out there-- make some contact with one and be your best advocate. This happened and I am so sorry. It doesn't change the fact that you are still a precious and important person in this world, kiddo. Be strong, be safe, be kind to yourself and take good care of you. Much love sweet girl. Hang in there.
Heather Veronica Thank you so much for this. Today was not so good so this made my day. Words may just be words but your words are so encouraging. While I was reading your comment, I was thinking in my mind “ yes girl, she is beautiful” and then I remembered that you were replying to ME and that just made me so happy for someone to say to me. It made me realized that even thought there are nasty people out there, there are still good people. I have been thinking lately that I DO need to start thinking positive about myself. I have body issues( who doesn’t) and I’ve decided to do something about it. I’ve started working out to loose some weight so I, ME, MYSELF can be happy with me. And I am very excited for the weeks and months ahead. Again, thank you so much for your reply... it really helped. ❤️
Karly Llorens You are very welcome! I'm glad to hear that my words were helpful to you. Something about you just stood out to me and told me that you needed someone to reach out to you and give you a "virtual hug". I meant every single word I said and still do. My hope and prayer for you Karly is that you can get the help, support, and love that you need, not just now, but for all your days going forward. Take care of you and be safe precious one.❤ You deserve good things! Come find me if you need me...
Anyone can be sexually assaulted or raped, just because you're gay, lesbian, male or female doesn't mean that you can't get raped or that it isn't as bad, it scars people for a long time. Consent is necessary, not sexy. You usually get raped by relatives or Friends of your family A lot of people get raped when there really young, they can't fight and people don't usually Believe them
For me, I was honestly SUPER lucky he decided to confess. When I was 16 I was molested by a teacher, and he was a well-known figure in a small town who was held in very high regard, everyone loved him. My mom was amazing through the whole thing, when I told her the first thing she did was hug me and say "It wasn't your fault." Because that's also something a lot of sexual assault victims struggle with, thinking it was somehow your fault. Anyway, she went to the police, made sure I had a female officer to talk to, who was really kind and understanding. I don't know the full series of events because my mom shielded a lot from me, but I got a call from the officer I talked to and she told me they'd confronted him and that he had confessed, and they arrested him. Then of course I had to deal with the backlash from the community (my name was never in the news reports because I was a minor, but I still saw the comments). All they saw was "sixteen year old female student" and automatically assumed I was lying. "Teenagers lie! She's doing it for attention! I know him, he would never do anything like that!" I didn't let it bother me too much, but it still hurt a little. I can understand where they were coming from, but I wish they hadn't been so quick to judge.
I reported my rapist. He admitted to it and is going to prison, yet some old friends of mine still spread rumors about me saying I made it all up for money and attention. I'm left with no friends and can't explain to anyone I meet why I'm so lonely. If I do, I get bombarded with these sort of questions. It sucks. People suck. At least I'm lucky enough to have gotten justice.
MissOnslow People who treat survivors like that are the worst kind. Once when I was sixteen or so two of my friends who didn't know each other went out with me. They both shared their experiences with assault. The way they bonded in that moment made me feel honored that they could trust me and each other. I'm proud they are strong and trusting of me enough to tell me. Since then, many friends have had similar experiences. I try and hopefully manage to be totally supportive. The only question I ask is what I can do to help. That's the only question that matters, and God help anyone who talks shit about them in my earshot. I wish you had the kind of friends who treated you right. Fuck those people for failing you. Hopefully, you will meet better people in the future. At the very least my heart goes out to you and I wish you strength and love wherever you are.
the day after i was sexually assaulted i was talking to my friend about it and she told me that i was overreacting and i shouldn't let this control my life. THE DAY AFTER I WAS SEXUALLY ASSUALTED
Edgy Edgerod when I told my friend she laughed and said why does it matter (only one of them said that my real friends were made and told there parents) the worst part is that I was in the middle of school no one saw anything and the kid didn't get in trouble because only my (true) friends believed me and my mom. The teachers did nothing
"What were you wearing?" I was 11 "Were you drunk?" I WAS 11 "You must have wanted it." I. WAS. 11. "Why didn't you fight?" I!WAS!!11!!! "Why didn't you report it?" I did! I went to the police station and filed a report! The police literally said a few days later that they weren't going to do anything because the guy was young and boys will be boys.
Gold Rose I wouldn’t blame the #metoo. It’s society. The same one that shames men for speaking out about it. #Metoo helps victims learn that they aren’t alone
That's is the harsh reality and because of the stigma of men being sexually assaulted. To a certain extent, society is kind of sympathetic towards women being raped because women are considered the fairer sex. Unfortunately for men, society scoffs at the idea of men being raped. Men are suppose to be strong and be able to physically protect themselves according to society. So there's no possible way that a man can be overpowered by another man or woman for that matter. Tell that to men who were drugged, beaten, retrained, overpowered by their rapist, no matter how hard they tried to fight back. The harsh reality is that anyone could be sexually assaulted no matter the gender,race, religion, age, socioeconomic background, attire a person is wearing, etc.
Nomsa Ntuli Stereo typically guys usually are the ones who rape not the other way around in a majority of people’s minds so it’s hard for them to understand and realize that it does actually happen to men as well.
I remember in elementary school, we had sex ED, and there our teacher read a story of a stepdad touching a girl at night and how she thought she shouldn't tell her mom because she might get angry at her so the girl told the teacher, who told the mother and then she broke up with the stepdad and he went to jail. I always thought how horrible this situation is and how I am so happy to not go through this. One year later (when I was 10 years old or so) EXACTLY this situation happened. But when I told my mother at the age of 15, she didn't believe me. Life is not like in the books.
I’m so sorry for what happened to you. That happened to me I was scared to tell my mom I was even younger than you because the person told me that if I said a word he would kill my hole family and take me away and keep doing that to me I’m so sorry that you had to go through that
I was told I wasn't raped because I was in a relationship with him. My parents don't believe me, nor do my friends.. and I'm seen as a psycho. This guy is walking free, believing he's done nothing wrong at all. I didn't report him because no one believed me, I had no evidence and I was too scared. I live everyday being the guilty one, and he's living an amazing life. It's ruined my life, and I can't do anything about it.
I was molested by an 18yr old FEMALE from 4-5 and raped at the age of 26 by a ONCE thought to be friends boyfriend. I was EXTREMELY intoxicated and had passed out. I've been living with PTSD and ANGER FOR MOST OF MY LIFE. Started being suicidal by age 8. I DO NOT TALK ABOUT IT NOR HAVE I WANTED TO INTIL NOW. I've been in therapy off and on since 2004. I avoid retelling what happened out of GUILT, SHAME, HURT AND ANGER. I feel like now it's time for me to heal and begin to live a healthy life. Thank you guys so much. I will now FORWARD this video to my husband. That'll be my start.👍
What's even more frightening is that 7 out of 10 sexual assaults are committed by someone that the victim knows. It can be hard to defend yourself or speak up when suddenly one of your friends or family members turns on you. These people are brave for speaking up about their experience
Oh Hol thats true tbh my situation was that i was too scared to say something in the beginning. Im in 8th grade and he was my friend so wen he touched me for over 2 years and at first i told him to stop and he would. But it got worse and i would tell my friends and they would say its nothing, that im over exaggerating. So i didnt say anything but it was getting worse and it became a everyday thing. And i couldn't fight him cuz he is too strong and when people would witness this in school they would ignore it. But it was coming to the fact that i was scared for my life and that any day i would get raped in school. I couldnt stand it anymore and told my bestfriend. He told me why didnt you tell me before and why didnt you tell a teacher or parent. 1st i held from telling him because first im scared of how he would react and if he wouldnt care. 2nd i can NEVER tell my mom because im not even supposed to sit by boys and i didnt tell a teacher too because in my school the principals dont do anything but in fact blame the victims. So my bestfriend asked if i was ok or not but all i could say is that i am partially that its my fault. I felt it was my fault it got out of hand and that im weak. One day he forced me to the back of the stairs and tried to made me do things to him. And i was crying and helpless but thank god he heard people in the hallway so he ran. And wen i felt safe i called my best friend. He comforted me and didnt ask questions until i felt better. And at some point he got angry and said im letting him take advantage over me that i need to find a way to escape. He was about to confront him and tell my teacher, but i was crying and told him not to and so he stopped. Since im moving schools i was ok with finishing the end of the school year. He was there for me and was quick to help me when i needed help. Now school is over and im happy but sad i wont ever talk to my bestfriend again. I let the boy go because i felt that it was my fault for not stopping it in the beginning, but ik someone or something will give him what he deserves.
It's not your fault. Consent is always needed, 100%. He did not respect your consent, so he is the one at fault. I'm sorry you went through that and how you felt you couldn't tell anyone
Once I opened up to a family member about my story and she said "I just didn't think you'd let that happen to yourself, thought you'd fight for yourself" hearing that made my heart drop.
I was molested until I was 11 when I got my first period by my grandfather, and I never understood what was happening until I was about 12 I felt horrible, my parents always noticed a sudden change around that age and always asked me what was wrong and I couldn't bring up the courage to say something. I lost my relationship with my father and my brother because I didn't trust anyone. My grandfather lived in the same house as us so he would do it when my parents weren't home when he was baby sitting me, My grandmother was even home! Thankfully he never penetrated me however he tried to use his fingers to "open" me wider I think, it hurt... I feel disgusted everytime I think about it. I knew it wasn't my fault but it killed me everyday not telling anyone. One day I was having an argument with my parent and it spilled out... I never felt more relief and scared in my life. My parents believed me because my aunts and mum went through the same with him for their whole lives. He went to hospital that night faking a heart attack and never admitted what he did and soon after took his own life leaving my dementia prone grandmother behind. I've been through therapy and changed my outlook on life, I still cry sometimes it's normal. Sorry for the long post but I've never posted it anywhere and seeing all your stories encouraged me to. So thank you internet for siding with us real victims love you all and hope you find your peace like I'm trying to. ❤️❤️❤️
I was really encouraged by people’s stories too, people’s testimonies are powerful things. You sound like one strong ass individual though and I was really moved by your story so thank you for sharing!
Esme Medrano im so sorry hon, no judgement here just sending love and hugs your way. All power to you and other people who are willing to talk about what they went through. I was first touched when I was 11 years old. Just once.
You poor thing. Sending thoughts and prayers 🙏🏻 The situation with your grandad is very similar to one I’ve heard. It’s disgusting how the rapists always repeat the same behaviours Again sending my love and support, I hope you find peace💞
Yesterday, I read about a woman, who had been getting extreme hate because she didn't inform her rapist that she was HIV-positive, before he raped her. It makes me sick just thinking about it.
"You must have wanted it a little bit..." Sex is supposed to be enjoyable and abusers have been using that against they're victims for years. I HATE being tickled. But the knowledge that I don't like it doesn't stop my body from reacting the way it does... Also, "yes" is the sexiest word in the english language
Went to the comments expecting to see disgusting people talking about the man in this video, and was pleasantly surprised to see otherwise. *Faith in humanity restored*
I would love to see a comment that said anything blaming the victim cause if I do I will track you down and replace there floors with legos and put poison in there sugar and needles in there food and kidnap there pets
Why I didn’t fight back, he threatened to hurt my brothers. What I was wearing, a T-shirt, sweatpants, and a hoodie. Was I drunk? No. Did I want it? No. Did I say “no” and made it clear? Yes. It’s NOT my fault and to anyone who’s gone through this please remember that it’s NOT your fault either.
I think of my science teacher every time I think of consent "Consent is not the absence of a no, but the presence of a yes" That man was very wise and taught me a lot of other things. Thank you Mr. Greenhouse :)
I have never been sexually assaulted and I count myself lucky because of it! I’m so sorry to anyone who has been sexually assaulted, you don’t deserve it, you didnt ask for it the person is just sick! You’re amazing no matter what anyone says about it
Thank you, I needed this, I’ve had a really hard day today, I had a nightmare last night about my perpetrator and I’ve had a couple flashbacks along with some panic attacks, this comment made me feel so much better
I was once sexually assaulted and I turned the guy to the police, and when the policeman asked me questions he asked "were you drunk?" and "what were you wearing?" ._.
Stina Hansen A friend of mine was raped and weeks later when we had a sleepover the police called to ask her some questions and her mom set the phone on speaker. The so called "officer" said to her and I quote: She must have enoyed it. Its only natural if she was Wet down there those guys could got into her".. Not only were those words disguisting but the tone was pervy to put it lightly as well 😠. The guy ended up losing his job and the devils got what they deserved.
He commented it because the man in the video said in the beginning that people accused him of having lived a fantasy by being assaulted by a straight man. Waldemar didn't say anything about knowing someone's sexuality just by looking at them.
The guy himself claimed that a 'straight man' sexually assaulted him so the attacker must of been gay. A straight rapist would raped a woman not a man. LikeSTokio is correct as I never said I knew the sexuality of the man, it's just obvious that a gay man would rape another man unless he was bisexual but h's definitely not straight.
I’m in the same boat as you hun :( just remember that your experience is still 100% valid and your relationship with him doesn’t make you any less of a survivor, you are strong and brave!
People act as if when you date someone you love them forever and say yes to so many things. Being in a relationship is so complicated and sometimes u wanna break up w them and dont know how to. Or dont know what love is and you don’t realize you’re not in love. What does being in a relationship have to do with anything
Caseyisdrowning Omg, why don’t people understand this?! A relationship doesn’t entitle you to s*x anytime you want! I sometimes wish these people who claim it’s okay would be r*ped the moment they ever dated someone and then I would see if THEY still thought it was okay bc they were dating. Maybe it’s sick, but in so many situations where victims of stuff are made to feel bad about being victims, if the people shaming them were to experience it themselves, I’m sure they’d never do it again.
The thing that people don't understand about being raped, is the lasting impression it leaves. It happened to me when I was twelve. After that, I couldn't look anyone in the eye, I couldn't be in the same room as any man, I couldn't be in a crowd, or on my own. Now, at seventeen, I am starting to get past this, past the anxiety that this attack made worse, past the PTSD that I got. No, PTSD isn't just something you get after fighting in a war. Think of it as an emotional and mental scar left after a traumatic experience. It has taken me five years to even start trusting people again. There are some people who never fully heal, even after twenty, thirty years. They never caught my attacker. They gave up within two weeks. It's this kind of bullshit that makes me feel unsafe in my own country.
@@cookiecutter5162 The guy can be straight and he may have felt it was a joke, but it went too far. That's how a straight guy may sexually assault a gay guy. Maybe, he did things to mess with him, because he's gay, because it was like a joke to that (straight) guy.
"why didn't you fight?" I hate when people ask me this. In my case, I fought like hell once I realized what was happening, but by then it was too late, he already had me pinned, I couldn't move, I fought so hard. I'm still fighting now, against people who say that kind of thing, and against my anxiety and PTSD resulting from it.
Q Lock Yes, but that isn’t the victim’s fault, more like a kind of effect of the victim’s choice. It doesn’t matter what condition a person is in or what they’re wearing, unless there is consent, you are not being sexual with that person.
The first therapist I ever went to I told her "I was sexually assaulted by my brother while I was asleep" and she said "I don't believe you" ... 🙄 Your job is to AT LEAST listen to my problems. Like, it's the LEAST you can do
Brittany G. My bother used to touch me in my sleep when i was 7. and he had an obsession with me ever since, and a year ago he tried to rape me but the only thing that prevented it from happening is that i tried to stab him in the neck when he tried . Im thinking of getting a therapist, but my worst fear is that they wouldn't believe me .
yeah when I told a guy I was dating that my brother sexually assaulted me for years, the first thing he said was 'I'm jealous of your brother haha' worst thing I've ever heard. Im terrified to tell anyone, cause everytime the person says something to hurt me.
Hannah King People can be so fucked up. It makes me sick, sometimes even to the point where I think I might throw up, that there are people who actually think like that, or even think it’s funny.
@Banna Bread yesss, I was molested by a women when I was 5, it felt good but bad afterwards and I'm extremely sensitive to touch anywhere on my body especially my neck.
They covered the "Men can't be raped" misconception but they left out "Women can't rape" I was raped by three girls when I was young and I've had so many people be like "Oh, that's not really rape" or "At least it wasn't a man" And I'm just like wtf is wrong with you?
I know a guy who was asked, "Why are you upset? It was free sex." Just...I can't even. He was also told he must have enjoyed it, because there are way too many stupid people out there who don't realize a boner is an involuntary response to external stimulus.
Yup. Was waiting for that to be mentioned myself. Also, women can also sexually assault women. Generally, anyone can be a rapist and anyone can be a victim.
It's more so of a situational standard, say if you were 18, dressed like a Persian stripper, and drunk as fuck, as well as on strong drugs then the possibility of being raped is raised, but you also have to take into the account the desperation the Rapist needs for sex. Unluckily some person thought it was nice to see a 13 year old in a softball outfit and decided to do things, very similar to how my own Auntie raped me in my sleep when I was 14, her justification was that I was having a wet dream, so I obviously wanted to fuck someone right?
"why do you want to talk about it" Well actually I didn't say anything to anyone for two weeks after it happened. And even after that it was difficult talking about it. Now, years later, I'm very open about ALMOST anything difficult that's happened in my life because someone who's struggling might hear me talk about it and open up themselves, which will help them slowly heal. Having my friends to talk to was the best thing I could do so if I can help someone else coming out of their shell, to me or to someone else, I'll talk about it at every opportunity.
I don't understand people. I was 5 when it happened. Wearing shorts that went to my knees and a short sleeve shirt. Telling someone is hard because you feel like it's your fault. People never think about how the person felt, they only care to know the unimportant and rude things. "Where you drunk?" I Was five "Why didn't you fight back?" I was five "You must've wanted it a lit bit" No. I was five.
"to tell my parents I was raped was the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life".. When I told my mom that some guy raped me and that I was ashamed and afraid of my life, I heard her heart breaking .. I hated to tell her that her daughter got raped. It was the sadest moment in my life..
I can't imagine what you've been through. But you are very strong. I don't know what I would do at your place. You had the courage to tell someone. I probably wouldn't. Plus your username with my 2 biases..girl, I wish you the best👍
It’s really sad. I know girls and boys who have been pressured into saying yes when they really mean no. And people have been constantly bullying them about them asking for it. It is not your fault. You didn’t want it. I’m a victim of assault and I really want everyone to stay strong ❤️
King Of Combat ' Being too young to understand any better and/or feeling threatened by the abuser. Oftentimes sexual assaults happen in close relationships, so it can be hard to say no. Especially if that person is trusted. These are only examples, there are many more reasons behind it.
"You must've enjoyed it at least a little" I was 12. TWELVE. No twelve-year-old, or anyone for that matter, asks to be sexually assaulted and/or raped.
I remember being 15 and I walked into a house party with my female cousin and she went upstairs with an older man and she was shouting NO so I ran upstairs just to see him with her up against the wall holding her arm in a lock, I punched the shit out of him. At that time I didn't want to stop I thought if I killed this man right now I could stop him from doing it again. But I knocked him out instead I don't have the guts to kill somebody.
For anyone who needs to hear this, From someone who has been you. It is NOT your fault, it was NOT something you did or something you said. YOU have NO reason to feel ashamed or less of a human. The person who did and those who protect them are the ONLY person who should be. You are strong, you are kind, may your head stands tall and you discovery the power within your self. You are a survivor, be proud of yourself, and they never won because you are still here. I am proud of you for making it this far. You can and will beat the pain but until then remember its okay not to be okay.
Warina 69 also if you are going to try to call someone out acting like they are victim blaming maybe not try it to a person who is also a survivor. Doesn't work very well because that is a message of love and support and admiration so read it again before you came at me with that foolishness. Thanks
I was raped at 6 by a preacher, I've heard a lot of these questions before whenever I actually opened up about my trauma. A lot of people say that because I'm Aro-Ace that it shouldn't have been easy for him to do what he did. Seeing this honestly helps me feel a bit better about what happened.
KawaiiBread That's what my friend says to people who ask him that. "You wanted it didn't you" "Did you give them any hints to it" "Were you wasted". Everytime he says "I was like 8 so no" it's really shitty that people try to blame the victim first
Long, loose fitting jeans. A high cut t-shirt. And a zip-up hoodie. That's what I was wearing. I did not ask for it, because why would anyone ask to be sexually assaulted and humiliated? I spoke up and reported him to the police because I wanted to protect myself. I was 13 and terrified for my life at that point and I'm glad I did because 5 other girls had the courage because of me to speak out against our attacker. "Kids lie"... what 13 year old girl is going to torture herself with interviews and court hearings and bullies and being attacked for speaking up if it didn't actually happen? "Oh it's happened more than once? You must be lying" Yes, because I am going to lie at 4 years old. I'm going to torture myself through middle school and high school. That's every young girls dream, don't you know?! I have been asked every question in this video and I am so proud of the men and women who do not feel lesser about themselves for being asked these questions and being verbally attacked about their abuse. Talking about my attacks have saved my life. If it weren't for my friends and family who actually believed in me, I would not be alive 6 years after being forced to the ground by a man twice my size, being forced to walk home covered in dirt and semen, crying and terrified for my life and my safety. "I bet you secretly loved it" It's no secret that I'd love to bitch slap every person who has the audacity to speak to me that way.
The more you talk about it the more awareness there is. The more everyone talks about it, the more society will expect greater accountability from those who committed the crime. Ignore the people who say you are lying or other negative things because they don't want to believe the world is full of dark things and that the person who did this is one of them. And the more you talk the more you will heal. So keep talking. The world is changing and will keep changing as long as you raise your voice.
"why didn't you fight?" She was my girlfriend, and she *psychologically forced* me to have sex with her, saying that I wasnt enough for her. So I, a 12 year-old (at the time), said that it was ok, but it was not
The "I believe you" really does feel good. A man who used to do my hair, was told about the situation because I was really young and he said, "Are you sure you didn't tempt him?" .... I don't know how an 8 year old tempts a grown man but okay...
I agree with the 8 year old comment. That is why I make a point to always believe in children, over something so serious. My Mum failed me in this and I never want to make the same mistake as her.
Endless Awakening That is the most wonderful thing you can do. We should start believing in children more or at least give them enough support for them to know who they can turn to when they really need help.
Okay first of all, I know right. I was 7 years old when someone molested me, and I've stopped telling people because I always got those comments. "You should've just fought back" "You could've done something" NO. I WAS SEVEN. Second of all, hEY FELLOW PENTAHOLIC
I agree that you shouldn't be asked whether you tempted him or anything like that, however when it comes to sexual assault victims coming forward, it seems people forget about the idea of innocent until proven guilty and expect the justice system to simply arrest someone based on your word.
When I was at a bar in turkey a "friend" tried to force himself onto me. Luckily he was near my height and not that strong. I managed to get away by punching him in the throat and bruising his balls. He had spent the whole night bragging about all the girls he's hooked up with even though he has a girlfriend. I found the girl on fb and told her what happened along the with entire list of girls. It's a small community so not a single girl will even talk to him now.
Thethechnoumbreon 007 telling some sort of security, just say fuck off, call the cops if he goes that far. you cant just assault someone just because a drunk guy wants to fuck you
My boyfriend and I have both experienced sexual assault, and when he finally opened up about what happened I just broke down. It’s so awful that people don’t take men seriously when they have experienced sexual assault. It’s just as awful. And it breaks my heart just thinking about it right now.
"They could be lying" Alright but so could literally anybody else about any crime. Assault,grand theft,murder, anything. Yet somehow it seems like sexually assaulted people get the worst of the "they could be lying".
MargaritaMolly with in 2 day span, it has evidence in their area, but u can't take a shower cuz seaman will go out. They go to doctor to do a test. but yeah they could be lying if they dont have evidence
Chainhog IdkwhatToPutAsLastNameXD Imagine someone saying that they got something stolen from them. And you asked "are you sure you didn't let them take it? You didn't give it to them?" This doesn't happen with any other crime.
”You must’ve wanted it a little bit.” I WAS 5. HE WAS MY BROTHER! Listen, If you want to someone about their experience, be respectful. Thats a disgusting question.
High up police lady of the sexual assault department “ do you know how to say no ??” Well I spent two hours telling a man no and pushing him away and off of me but I guess that means yes .
Victims are always the guilty ones for the police... that‘s very sad. You would think that something like that would only happen in third world countries, but sadly not... it shouldn‘t even happen there... the victim has it rough enough and then such things like that to say are more than horrible... I‘m sorry that this happend, I hope that you are doing good!
I was 15. I walked into the station. I told the police officer at the front desk, he said that they'll keep a look out for him. They didn't take a proper statement from me, they didn't even bring me into a room, nothing at all. Didn't even bat an eyelid, just said they'd keep a look out. I was 15, I had no idea what the protocol was so I didn't ask for more. I'm now 28. I know what they should have done now but it's too late.
"Why didn't you report it?" 1) Because my dad sided with the molester and told me to keep it a secret. 2) Because if I did, he straight up would have been kilked. And you can't just ask an eight year old to deal with that.
"Why didn't you report it?" 1) I was scared, he was my best friends brother, I didn't want to ruin their family. 2) I didn't understand how serious it was, I wasn't even a teen yet.
Only 8? That's like the age of my bby sister and i would rip apart whoever touched her with my bare hands. I'm sorry for what u experienced at such a young age
Echo Bluff yes because apparently everyone that has been sexuality assaulted are automatically lying! They're not lying you ignorant fuck! You saying that each one of these people are lying is like saying that it doesn't exist when it very well does!
I'm thinking that the ones who say we're all liars are either all bitter teens who have spent too much time being brainwashed on mra subreddits and not enough time among actual women, or they're sexual predators themselves, trying to cover their pathetic asses.
Christopher Jones there is a power play in the rape and although rape against men by women is 100% possible and has happened more than once its extremely uncommon due to not only cultural aspects but also evolutionary aspects. The average height for a woman is 5’4 while the average height for a man is 6 inches more at 5’10. Men tend to carry more muscles and be more muscular than women which makes it easier to hold down, grab things. As well as the fact that muscle weighs more than fat. The reason rape is more commonly shown as a male on a woman is because evidence wise and just the way people are physically built it would be much easier for a man to overpower a woman than the other way around. Still talking about male rape victims is extremely important and necessary for the normalization of boys and men asking for help when they’ve been assaulted, raped, or abused. So it was good they included a male.
Elle D I’m 100% willing to talk about the violence experienced by men within all settings but I will not discuss it when it’s being used as a tactic to distract from the atrocities committed against women. DONT ONLY BRING UP MENS ISSUES WHEN DISCUSSING WOMENS ISSUES.
Elle D men being raped is extremely important to discuss, and the normalization and promotion of men asking for help and sharing their experiences is vital to the fight of ending rape and sexual violence against all people. However it’s extremely disrespectful and disappointing to not only the women you invalidate by throwing their rape to the side because “men don’t get talked about enough” but to the men as well who’s rape is only brought up and considered valid when used to discredit rape statistics amongst women.
Fazluna I never said it was. My perspective has changed but my message wasn’t ever disregard them in fact I said several times not to and that supporting male victims is important and necessary. However my view on assault has widened with meeting more male victims. I stand by the fact that statistics prove this is a more common female experience than men but Im disappointed in my words for everything else. Perspective and education change in a year.
As a girl who was raped by my best friend (another girl) videos like this are amazing. So many people told me I was lying or that what happened "doesn't count". It tore me apart and really hurt. I'm in counselling now, its been 9 months, I still haven't gone to the police and I'm not ready. People still put that pressure on others and it is horrible.
Elle D it’s not her fault if it happens to someone else. She has the right to cope on her own way. I never took my abuser to court. That doesn’t mean it was my fault if he hurt anyone else. It’s no ones fault but his.
Just a reminder, rape isn’t the only form of sexual assault. I hope everyone that’s gone through any sort of sexual assault is doing okay, and feels brave enough to get the help they deserve.
Yeah I figure everyone will kinda think I was raped if I say I was sexual assaulted. I wasn’t raped but it’s easier to say sexual assaulted than molested
Exactly! I wasn’t raped, but she was tracing her hands along my inner thighs, pressing against me despite my attempts to get away and her hand in places nobody’s should’ve ever been. She’d pin me against lockers and get far too close, she’d get on top of me while I was trying to fall asleep. I developed a phobia of public bathrooms because I thought she’d burst into my stall and take the final step. She didn’t rape me, but it definitely was sexual assault.
Shannon Louise thank you for saying that! I cannot stand when people say “oh well at least you weren’t raped!” Like that makes it any better! That is honestly I big reason why one 4 people in my life know about what happened to me. But thank YOU for not saying that and for realizing rape is NOT the only form of sexual assault 🖤
it happened when i was 10, the boy was 13. he was my best friend's boyfriend. he said that if i told anyone he would say i seduced him, and everyone especially my "best friend", would hate me. some days later, i found out she knew it all the time, because it was her plan, she wanted to ruin my life... and she did it very well. the worst month of my life. pd: now she claims to be a feminist...
"You just made that up for attention" or "If you didn't remember all of it, it couldn't have been that traumatic". Those are the worst that have been said about me.
You know, it's dishonest people who are least likely to trust something like this. If something happens to you like this then you can get a good idea who is trustworthy, because the more trustworthy they are, the more likely they are to believe you. It is useful to be able to tell someone this when they doubt you as well haha. Anyone who says that about not remembering it does not have any idea about how humans cope with trauma. It is very normal to blank some of it. I hope you have someone to talk to who does believe you, and I hope you are doing ok.
It’s more traumatic because I don’t remember. I was on too many drugs to move. K will make you that way , I don’t want him in trouble I just don’t know what’s going on.
I go to a "upper class" private school and whenever rape is mentioned, everybody talks about that stuff like this never happens in our circles. In Reality I know 4 girls who were raped, all of them were 14-16 when it happened and those are only the ones who told me about it...
i was drunk as hell and said yes but the man made me so uncomfortable and scared while it was happening and when i told him to stop several times he just kept going. every time i tell the story people blame me and i understand why but it still hurts
Frankie I-emo Yea, always sneaking their meth into class, as a teacher, I always have to stop kids from injecting themselves with hard drugs in the middle of cla-TOMMY STOP SNIFFING COCAINE
3:13 "It makes you feel guilty about having wanted to be close with somebody, having been flirting with someone, or having trusted somebody.. No, That's not a sin."
"I don't believe you" is the one that hits me the most.
Band Child I feel you, I lost all my friends because they thought I was lying..
My dad said that.
I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND
@@audreylee1699 my mom too 😓
it’s because the dumb ones who really lie about it give the ones who really were a bad rep
When people say rape victims “were asking for it” I always come in and say
“Did my 12 year old self ask for it wearing my required school uniform?” It shuts them up every time.
-めぐみん stop trolling you 12 year old
-めぐみん You are disgusting.
-めぐみん Well rape isn’t clapping
Yeah, you're young and in uniform, most likely with more 12 year olds.
Well anyone who suggests that it’s the victims fault is stupid and should be easy to refute
"You shouldn't have trusted him, and stay with your relatives"
Bro it was my uncle
Edit: a lot of people are opening and replying, i wish y’all the best, you are strong, we are strong.
Brother
Step brother
Cousin
dad
Cousin
"Why didn't you report it?"
Because I was an easily impressionable 12 year old and I was terrified that he would hurt me again
Star Rose that’s one of the most annoying things I hear! Like it’s traumatic, and you could have so many reasons that you didn’t report. You could have not known what was going on, you could be scared they’d do it again, anything could happen!
I didn't report it because I remembered what it was like when I was taken and sexually assaulted on the bus heading to school! I went through hell with proof, cameras caught it, classmates watched it, everyone saw what happened. Yet the police had the nerve to say and I quote "you should see Precious, she's been through worse!" So when I was raped by an acquaintance with no proof, I was not going through a rape kit, or an interrogation, I'd deal with it differently cause the legal system left more wounds than that coward ever could.
Because I was a child and didn't know what was happening. Because of dissociative amnesia where i locked it away so it wouldn't hurt me, til I had flash backs, still can't remember all of it and that im grateful for.
Star Rose I told my adoptive mom the second time it happened and I told her what happened and she said it was my fault and wouldn’t let me report it. Then the 3rd time it happened I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t think they would believe me
Because he is my brother and it happened 10 years ago. I didn’t want him to hate me.
"Why didn't you fight?"
"I didn't want to die."
Megan Chalmers facts 😢😫😖😞
Same😭😭😭
Yeah, because someone held at gun point or pinned down by someone 2 their size can fight back, right?
Ania W I hope ur somewhat alright now I’m so sorry that happened
Ania W I’m so sorry to hear that hope you get better💞
For people who do not understand consent:
If a house has a welcome mat, it does not mean you can barge in whenever you like.
And just because you've been allowed in that house before, doesn't mean you can now break in when ever you like.
Brilliant.
I love the tea analogy. If you've seen that ?
As a Brit, I fkn love tea.
I do not have a welcome mat 😂
Natalie Parish my mum calls my welcome mat ironic. 'you don't want anyone here though...'
@@LadyMot that's partly why I don't have one 😂
this is literally the perfect example
My mom asked me why I didn't scream.
What she doesn't get is that in my head I screaming so loud but my voice was gone and I didn't fight because everything froze .
That's the thing, people either fight or freeze when confronted with something traumatic. It does not make anyone less of a victim and survivor if they could not actively oppose the situation.
Anele Ntenjwa you are not alone, that’s a very common reaction and there was nothing you could’ve done to stop that. most people who haven’t experienced such trauma don’t understand how they would respond. it was not your fault
Me too :( the whole time I’m thinking “no no get off I don’t want this no”
I forgot and screamed but it didn't make a difference its not your fault its the one who hurt you....
How everything froze?
"why didn't you fight"
Most people get shocked, they don't know how to react, because it's gross, because it's something that they didn't thought they'd go through, because it's really scary. That's why most people can't react.
oh the poor normies, haha... Poor poor normies wanna play the victim when sby was ACTUALLY abused.. Yeah, its a sad story, but srsly...
@@thenaturalpeoplesbureau What are you trying to say?
@@tsuyuasui2494 That Sweetie is right, and that abuse victims have to suffer just as much at the hands/words of unaffected idiots/police/bloodsucking attorneys, as by the actual perpetrator.
That the unaffected, actually play the victim when saying nonsense like "why didnt you fight" may not be evidently visible to some - but it is very disturbing to hear these things if you are affected by trauma. They need to hide behind their little view instead of asking honestly how these things go down, how and why. The way we are asked, is often so condescending that it might be just as satisfying to smack the perps as the "innocent" bystander conformist carbohydrate bags,..
We need to educate the masses a bit more about trauma, unless we want the world turn into shit.. 1 in 4 was abused at least once... Even if it were 1 in 20 only, those are HUGE NUMBERS of ticking timebombs... Yes, we are being treated like timebombs, because society the way it rolls, cant be bothered with social INCLUSION for victims... COuntless factors exclude em.. All the while the perps (if not sewed successfully) walk around free and privileged.. Of course they will never find peace... But i think we should help victims more - then we have less outbursts of chaos..
The whole process of our justice system does NOT help the victims, it often retraumatizes them in their most vulnerable moments.. Only survivors of such crimes and psychologists should formulate the laws and processes by which we can identify trauma, and hold perpetrators responsible. Our justice system enables crime on every level.. This is because the unaffected dont understand Trauma. So in a way, with these kinda crimes we need a different process.. Most survivors of childhood abuse CANNOT possibly know the details our justice system requires to catch criminals.
As such what we do is, we basically bully the survivors, quench em into the most unbearable positions, and in the end it DOESNT EVEN SERVE JUSTICE.
There are many ways by which we can determine things scientifically - psychologically and neurologically. We need a new system for THESE kinda crimes.. Either that, or we need a little purge... ;) It is not acceptable how many survivors have to deal with this SHIT system - all while the perps can walk around freely..
If we would for example be more open to topics like mobbing, we could easily psychologically assess who actually speaks he truth.. But scapegoating and mobbing is LITERALLY the ticket to heaven for judeao-christian doctrine. The term scapegoating as you may know actually stems from weird jewish ritual to "cast the sins of the community" on the head of an innocent goat and then send it into the desert (exclude it) so that it can die there.. That basically is the quintessential core of judaism and xtianity - god and the ppl need an innocent scapegoat and sacrificial lambs, so that their society can move on.. The notion that another should suffer for some1 elses shortcomings is the most heinous crime there is - and these ppl have a religion where THIS is actually their way to liberation...
It makes me sick if i just think about it.. Most victims are unsure, and our justice system is a weird kinda popularity contest.. As such it is unfit for this world. A broken justice system desytroys social cohesion!! Destruction is often the consequence of that.
English is not my native language, from your comment i can see why you were asking though... :D It wasnt clear whoom i was really critizing... So now its clear i hope ;)
Maybe the normie problems (some would say not real problems at all) can be solved the old way - we need new ways of determination for certain types of crimes.. If we would go with what psychology found out last century, we wouldnt have that issue... But normies prefer to sell pharma ;^)
PS: Normal comes from the term "norma", which means a carpenters measurement tool... So a normal one is what his masonic masters want him to be - normalized, ergo sick.
Best regards, hold up
@@thenaturalpeoplesbureau Thank you
I was 6
Two powerful statements:
1) I believe you.
2) It wasn't your fault.
Summer Dais yes, love this! And also a simple "I'm here for you" is so empowering. We have to empower victims of sexual assault, that's the only way we can get more rapists behind bars.
Summer Dais yes
Summer Dais i wish someone would say that to me..
Alyssa Ancell Awh. Don't worry! I have to say it to you... If this happened to you, it wasn't your fault... Stay strong, I'm here for you. :3
Summer Dais no fuck off, innocent until proven guilty
I'm so glad they mentioned how sexual assault isn't about attractiveness or sexual intentions it's about power and vulnerability and no one seems to be aware of that.
Attractiveness and sexual intentions do play a role but the factors you mentioned also play a role, usually a major role.
King Of Combat ' no
No they absolutely do not play a role. Zero percent. Trust the victims and criminals, not the science documentaries you've watched on RUclips.
This is never about attractiveness. It's about feeling like you control another human being and they will do anything you say out of fear. It's enjoying
seeing that fear in the eyes of the victim and wanting more of it. It's literally torture.
@@pjemje "Don't trust science" Getting assaulted doesn't make you a boxing expert, getting robbed doesn't make you an expert on larceny statistics, why do people think getting raped makes you a rape expert
Jenni Sakakura apart from everyone in the world
I truly hope that one day, people who have experienced sexual assault will not feel ashamed anymore because they are not guilty of anything. You are strong, your are brave, you didn't deserve that.
Salome Cheyenne thanks you 😊
Thank you so much💓
For that very reason, when I was raped by a man who broke into my apartment, I shouted it out to everyone I knew. He was really stupid and left fingerprints so he got 11 years in prison. My dad told me he didn't want to know about it because he felt bad that he couldn't protect me. I told him, the guy had a knife, how would you protect me?
Two years after he got out of prison he assaulted another woman and that time he did cut her up. My testimony helped put him away for life.
Getting sexually harrased is brave?
LOL
😊
I hate people telling me “your such an attention seeker”
wolf pack That’s extremely fucked up that people said that to you. You are a very brave person for coming forth. I’m keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong❤️❤️
Attention seeking? More like a call for help honestly. I can't stand people who say behaviors are attention seeking. Maybe people are seeking attention FOR A REASON?
@@APatel8 I don't understand why people can't understand that, I agree of course :)
Honey yoU ain’t seeking for attention tell the to flip off
whomp whomp
No. Consent is not sexy. Consent is NECESSARY.
y not both
Consent is sexy maybe,
But it's also a human right.
NO ONE should be victim shamed.
I like hearing that “yes” all sexy like when I’m in the zone with a guy. Pretty sexy to me
Am I the only one who got that reference?
Autumn Patellaro true 👌
Also I ruined your 69 likes 😏
I hate it when people say men can't be sexually assaulted.
Yeah, no, it's physically impossible. As in, you're repelled by an invisible force field whenever you attempt it. Can't be done.
He was making a joke about people saying men can't be sexually assaulted.
TheBakingSeal yes it can
Baby Noot Nope. I tried sexually assaulting myself, and my arm flew back and killed my mother. Point proven.
TheBakingSeal a guy being sexually assaulted is when a man or woman is when the man doesn’t give consent during sexual pleasures
This doesn't have to specifically relate to sexual assault, but anytime a person says "But you look so happy now" in a way that insinuates we're lying, I just think- "So I'm not allowed to heal? Or to move on? I'm supposed to just wallow in pain and self pity making myself feel miserable?"
DayuZ And those people are the same people that tell you too move on
@@zahrah8512 no they aren't wtf are u talking abt
@@danielpetkov3856 Okay but they totally are, I know from experience- the people who say "get over it" are the same people who act surprised when something terrible happens to you and you DO get over it
It's shocking the level of stupidity of some people. 😑
Guys to save yourself the heartache, tell other survivors and/or a therapist.
"you must've wanted it a little bit"
that was said to me by the perpetrator, i was 8, 9, and 10.
"why didn't you report it?"
it was my stepbrother and he lived with me. i did report it when i was 13 and was told i was a liar and it was all in my head
I’m so sorry for what happened to you. I’m keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I believe you. Stay strong❤️❤️
@@pinkflower1076 thank you
C Gough you’re very welcome
C Gough I reported my uncle when I was four he did it over 50 times. I got adopted and told my adoptive mom what a different guy did and she said it was my fault and wouldn’t let me report it. When I was 16 it was a stranger and I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t think they would beleive me.
@@shaynakrutsch4941 damn I'm sorry, my mom never reported it when i told her and she actually blamed it on my uncle then gaslighted me into thinking i was brainwashed by my dad and that this story was all in my head. I'm sorry that happened to you i hope you are staying strong
By definition you CAN'T ask for rape.
Chris Hansen no
Chris Hansen that’s what safe words are for.
I am so glad people are pointing this out for the idiots in the world!~
Yes, because rape is non consensual, but people love to say "YOU WERE ASKING FOR IT" 😒, and those people are idiots.
@@mctescotenacious5285 Yes bruv.
"Why didn't you fight?" is one of the hardest questions to answer, because when you're asked that, you are forced to look back and think of all the possible ways you could've escaped. You then start to ask yourself that question too. "Why didn't I just run away? Why didn't I scream or call for help?" - It's honestly not that simple. When you're in that situation; when you are actually being assaulted; and when it's by a family member... Your mind doesn't, won't and can't work conventionally. So, if you're still reading up to this point, I want you to do something. That is: when a person tells you their story - when they have to relive all that pain and suffering, don't ask questions. Just listen. All these seemingly harmless questions linger in a person's mind and makes them regret not doing what they wish they had. So please, for my - and every other victim of sexual assault's sake: Just listen.
Cr33pycat: Thank you so much for posting this comment. I've always been uncomfortable about how to handle a situation to where a person would open up an assault story like this. I never knew what to say or how to react if the time would ever come, but now I know and it completely makes sense
Briana Muskus,
You're welcome. I'm glad you took the time to read what I said and consider it. The best thing to do for someone - when the need arises - is to sit through it, don't ask for details, and let them know that they have a well of unconditional support from you. It makes all the difference. :)
Sometimes, when you find yourself in that situation, your mind just goes blank and you freeze, It's like a way your body has to try and block the horror you're going through, even if you remember everything afterwards. I think most people would totally have wanted to DO something about it, but they just couldn't. I couldn't.
It's well explained here.
People have so many wrong assumptions what rape is like and what's it about. People are different and there is a variety of reactions.
tvo.org/video/programs/the-agenda-with-steve-paikin/the-truth-about-trauma
Cr33pycat well said
“Why didn’t you report it” because I was 5 and it was my step brother and I just thought we were “ playing doctors” as he said
cheekygirl 15 your lying clearly
Rory Douglas gee you don’t have to assume like that, they could and probably are telling the truth
If he was your age or like 2 years older you that wasnt rape...
@@Lea-dq2uy even if he was seven, he tricked a five year old to be sexually assaulted. And, you know, THAT SHIT ISN'T RIGHT
@@Lea-dq2uy why not?
“Get over it already.”
My best friend said that to me.
Ugh, get that person out of your life. That is no friend.
my mom said that to me after I told her
Bruhhhh I hate people like that
Dani Has an unhealthy obsession with books OMG! I feel so sorry for you
Ouch!
"Were you drunk?" yeah of course, I was 6 & drunk
And you were probably tempting him in your Care Bear shirt.
Tia D. Omg rape isn't funny but LMAO I CAN'T
Tia D. God damn it! This is a serious video yet you made such a funny ass comment! I shouldn't have laughed😂😅🤣😅😂🤣
With butterfly hair clips in your hair.
Julie May I was 12 and asked the same questions
I've known women and men who've been sexually assaulted, as children and adults, and their wildly varied stories only have ONE thing in common: the people (family/friends/police) who should've been helpful & supportive after the attack did more damage with questions & reactions like those mentioned here than the actual attacker. The victims get over the physical damage quickly, but the blame & lack of support stays with them for years, sometimes a lifetime.
Physically, bruises, cuts, sores, usually heal (though sometimes it does leave more permanant physical scars) but yes, emotionally it damages you
Yes could not agree more @33 just realizing how much self blame I went through all my adult life and how it has stopped me from even knowing who I really am. Just now realized I need help. The closest people failed me and it was not the first time and it still hurts so so much.
Yes I agree!!! That's what really happens and because you didn't get support that time, you develop trust issues. And you don't get the closure needed to move on. Leaving you in this weird situation
Absolutely. So well said
Dennis Staughton I have to say, that was very well worded!
My school had this talk where a women came in and talked about her experience. She says although she was young when she was raped, she never wears skirts or dresses because she wore a dress to a party and someone asked her if thats what she got raped in.
Then a man came who said he was raped by a women who had drugged him. Someone next ti me said that it was FAKE, i dont talk to that person anymore. Rape isnt a gender thing. Men can get raped by women or men just as much as women can get raped by men or women. At the end of the talk the man got up, with a tear down his eye and said
" Being raped dosent define who you are, but it defines who the rapist is"
Then the women got up and said
" Being raped dosent define who I am, but it defines what society thinks of me"
This hit me. Well, i have anxiety issues, but this hit me.
Shae Moors shut up please it’s an opinion
@@willistech6108 Yeah you're definitely the one who should shut up.
I have a girl in my class who says that men can‘t be raped by a women and I‘m like bish shut up pls.
There's something you've cleared up for me that for a long time I felt bad and confused about since society always said it was a guy raping a girl- rarely a girl raping a guy. But saying that a guy can rape a guy and a girl can rape a girl..just..thankyou for bringing that up..
Women report rape more than men
“What were you wearing?”
*”School uniform”*
SpiderTasks omg yes :( mine happened like that too..
Me to
I was wearing some tracky bottems and a 1d hoddy
@@jackmurphy5663 i love 1D tho
For everyone here in the comments stop lying and acting like a victim
"Did you like it?"
Possibly the most upsetting thing I've been asked.
That person definetly watches too much hentai
"Possibly the most upsetting thing I've been asked."
So I take it that you didn't like to be asked that.
its RAPE. which means its UNWANTED. I dont think anyone likes something that is forced onto them.
Dj fandrus Actually people can orgasm during rape. It's an automatical reaction of the body. Denying it only makes people to whom it happened feel even more like it's their fault and they should be ashamed.
Dr_hombre
I was 8 years old and he was 14 I was playing and I lived in a apartment. He followed me in and he tried to touch me I was biting he hands and pushing him. He didn't success I fought for myself. My brother was 7 and he stod outside the door I was yelling for help. But luckily he didn't touch me. I told my mom, my mom told my dad. My dad talked to him and he said "I was just kidding with her"....
Wtfff he was 14? At least he lost
Same I was 8 or 9 and a family member, who was 17 and I thought I could trust, sexually assaulted, before anything escalated my mom walked in the room
i was 5 or 6 and he was 11 or 12, people tell me it wasnt rape because of his age. idk about you, but i feel like 12 year olds know better than to rape someone.
Similar thing, I was 7 or 8 and he was 13 or so.
And did you dad slap him or punch him? Get the other parents involved? Like come on!!!
I am 13 and I was sexually assaulted by one of my “friends”. I liked him because he was nice to me and he was cute of course. He kept telling me that I was beautiful. At school he would always tell me that he wanted to go outside or just meet up with me and we could “do things”. At the time, I didn’t think much of it and that I was mature and I could handle anything that happened. Once we had walked out he lead me into the woods almost (tall grass behind the school), he told me to get down, he was kind of intimidating and scary in a way, so I did. Then I kept saying “no,no I can’t.” Then he pushed my head. He also grabbed my butt, touched me and made me touch him even more. I knew it was wrong but I still didn’t leave. Once I went into school, this happened before school, I was called into the office and had to tell the principal ,my parents, and my grandma. And had to report it to the police so my principal wouldn’t get in trouble. This was the WORST experience of my life. Ever since then people at my school call me a hoe, slut, etc and that I wanted it. They say that I walked out there with him so it couldn’t have been rape. And tell me how disgusting I am. I have cried almost every night since then and it was in august. I also feel that it was my fault. And everyone knows me as the girl who is easy. I have also been asked by many other guys to( you can fill in the blank) or they say ,out loud in the halls, to never do anything with me because I’ll just cry rape.
if you have read this far I hope you know that it isn’t ok to victim shame and that words do truly hurt.
And that if you have been assaulted yourself that you CAN overcome it and that what happened to you doesn’t make who you are. ❤️
Karly Llorens~
Hey sweet girl,
I am so sorry that happened to you. I'm sorry that people have been especially cruel and unkind to you after the fact. You absolutely did not deserve what happened to you and regardless of what any fool tries to tell you, this was not your fault. No different from any other person who has been sexually assaulted. Sexual assault, sexual abuse, and rape are more about power and control than sex. Sex is to rape like a kiss is to a punch in the mouth. Don't let anyone tear you down, sweet girl, and don't think that the ugly words they may call you or the ugly things they may tell you to do have any power over you. You still have YOU, precious one, and only you gets to decide who you are going forward. Be strong. You are strong. If no one in your family will help you get the counseling and help you desperately need and deserve now, please do NOT give up. Remind yourself every single day that you are strong, smart, and that you are beautiful, dammit. You can be the Phoenix who will rise above the ashes of this awful experience and rise above to become the You that you want to be. Try to find someone who is safe, who you can trust and try to get yourself some help. There are many rape hotlines and outreach programs out there-- make some contact with one and be your best advocate. This happened and I am so sorry. It doesn't change the fact that you are still a precious and important person in this world, kiddo. Be strong, be safe, be kind to yourself and take good care of you. Much love sweet girl. Hang in there.
Heather Veronica
Thank you so much for this. Today was not so good so this made my day. Words may just be words but your words are so encouraging. While I was reading your comment, I was thinking in my mind “ yes girl, she is beautiful” and then I remembered that you were replying to ME and that just made me so happy for someone to say to me. It made me realized that even thought there are nasty people out there, there are still good people. I have been thinking lately that I DO need to start thinking positive about myself. I have body issues( who doesn’t) and I’ve decided to do something about it. I’ve started working out to loose some weight so I, ME, MYSELF can be happy with me. And I am very excited for the weeks and months ahead. Again, thank you so much for your reply... it really helped. ❤️
Karly Llorens
You are very welcome!
I'm glad to hear that my words were helpful to you. Something about you just stood out to me and told me that you needed someone to reach out to you and give you a "virtual hug". I meant every single word I said and still do. My hope and prayer for you Karly is that you can get the help, support, and love that you need, not just now, but for all your days going forward. Take care of you and be safe precious one.❤
You deserve good things!
Come find me if you need me...
Now im kinda sad
*grabs AK 47* OKAY WHERE THEY AT
I'm a male who's been raped and I hate when people say: "Is that why you're gay?" "But you're a guy... ?" It's just so stupid
ugh i hate it when people say that, I'm a lesbian and I was raped by a girl and get the same things like it makes no sense how someone thinks that
Anyone can be sexually assaulted or raped, just because you're gay, lesbian, male or female doesn't mean that you can't get raped or that it isn't as bad, it scars people for a long time.
Consent is necessary, not sexy.
You usually get raped by relatives or Friends of your family
A lot of people get raped when there really young, they can't fight and people don't usually Believe them
I support men that have been assaulted. Hope you are OK now
I'm sorry
Hey uk people who say that are absolute morons.
For me, I was honestly SUPER lucky he decided to confess. When I was 16 I was molested by a teacher, and he was a well-known figure in a small town who was held in very high regard, everyone loved him. My mom was amazing through the whole thing, when I told her the first thing she did was hug me and say "It wasn't your fault." Because that's also something a lot of sexual assault victims struggle with, thinking it was somehow your fault. Anyway, she went to the police, made sure I had a female officer to talk to, who was really kind and understanding. I don't know the full series of events because my mom shielded a lot from me, but I got a call from the officer I talked to and she told me they'd confronted him and that he had confessed, and they arrested him. Then of course I had to deal with the backlash from the community (my name was never in the news reports because I was a minor, but I still saw the comments). All they saw was "sixteen year old female student" and automatically assumed I was lying. "Teenagers lie! She's doing it for attention! I know him, he would never do anything like that!" I didn't let it bother me too much, but it still hurt a little. I can understand where they were coming from, but I wish they hadn't been so quick to judge.
Christian BRO What the fuck
Christian BRO get the fuck out of here
Have faith, angel🌹
+Christian BRO Are you like ricegums brother or something
Christian BRO LEAVE
I reported my rapist. He admitted to it and is going to prison, yet some old friends of mine still spread rumors about me saying I made it all up for money and attention. I'm left with no friends and can't explain to anyone I meet why I'm so lonely. If I do, I get bombarded with these sort of questions. It sucks. People suck. At least I'm lucky enough to have gotten justice.
MissOnslow i really hope you find friends who care about you, more then what happened in the past
What kind of idiot admits to it?
The kind of idiot who thought saying sorry would make me not report him.
*hugs*
MissOnslow People who treat survivors like that are the worst kind. Once when I was sixteen or so two of my friends who didn't know each other went out with me. They both shared their experiences with assault. The way they bonded in that moment made me feel honored that they could trust me and each other. I'm proud they are strong and trusting of me enough to tell me. Since then, many friends have had similar experiences. I try and hopefully manage to be totally supportive. The only question I ask is what I can do to help. That's the only question that matters, and God help anyone who talks shit about them in my earshot.
I wish you had the kind of friends who treated you right. Fuck those people for failing you. Hopefully, you will meet better people in the future. At the very least my heart goes out to you and I wish you strength and love wherever you are.
the day after i was sexually assaulted i was talking to my friend about it and she told me that i was overreacting and i shouldn't let this control my life. THE DAY AFTER I WAS SEXUALLY ASSUALTED
Edgy Edgerod when I told my friend she laughed and said why does it matter (only one of them said that my real friends were made and told there parents) the worst part is that I was in the middle of school no one saw anything and the kid didn't get in trouble because only my (true) friends believed me and my mom. The teachers did nothing
Mad*
John Generic ex friend I hope.
did you leave her because hopefully you did b/c thats bloody stupid to say that
John Generic You def find out who is a real friend afterwards.
"What were you wearing?"
I was 11
"Were you drunk?"
I WAS 11
"You must have wanted it."
I. WAS. 11.
"Why didn't you fight?"
I!WAS!!11!!!
"Why didn't you report it?"
I did! I went to the police station and filed a report! The police literally said a few days later that they weren't going to do anything because the guy was young and boys will be boys.
boys will NOT be fkn boys, if boys are touching people without consent. i really hope you're doing well
Wtf is going on in the world
Wtf
"BOyS wIlL bE bOyS"
I didn't know it was natural male instinct to rape a child. Sorry that happened to you
@@queenii my mom got raped by a girl too
Men can be sexually assaulted but sadly they are less likely to report them 😢😢
How tho? I dont get it
Gold Rose I wouldn’t blame the #metoo. It’s society. The same one that shames men for speaking out about it. #Metoo helps victims learn that they aren’t alone
That's is the harsh reality and because of the stigma of men being sexually assaulted. To a certain extent, society is kind of sympathetic towards women being raped because women are considered the fairer sex. Unfortunately for men, society scoffs at the idea of men being raped. Men are suppose to be strong and be able to physically protect themselves according to society. So there's no possible way that a man can be overpowered by another man or woman for that matter. Tell that to men who were drugged, beaten, retrained, overpowered by their rapist, no matter how hard they tried to fight back. The harsh reality is that anyone could be sexually assaulted no matter the gender,race, religion, age, socioeconomic background, attire a person is wearing, etc.
Nomsa Ntuli Stereo typically guys usually are the ones who rape not the other way around in a majority of people’s minds so it’s hard for them to understand and realize that it does actually happen to men as well.
Men can get assulted by men, and forced to sex by women.
I remember in elementary school, we had sex ED, and there our teacher read a story of a stepdad touching a girl at night and how she thought she shouldn't tell her mom because she might get angry at her so the girl told the teacher, who told the mother and then she broke up with the stepdad and he went to jail.
I always thought how horrible this situation is and how I am so happy to not go through this.
One year later (when I was 10 years old or so) EXACTLY this situation happened.
But when I told my mother at the age of 15, she didn't believe me.
Life is not like in the books.
I’m so sorry for what happened to you. That happened to me I was scared to tell my mom I was even younger than you because the person told me that if I said a word he would kill my hole family and take me away and keep doing that to me I’m so sorry that you had to go through that
I am so sorry for what happened to you. I can't say that I know what it's like.
I believe you. Hope you've found peace now.
That's sickening, something needs to be done.. are you okay?
http.alicia.at sex ED in elementary?
I was told I wasn't raped because I was in a relationship with him. My parents don't believe me, nor do my friends.. and I'm seen as a psycho. This guy is walking free, believing he's done nothing wrong at all. I didn't report him because no one believed me, I had no evidence and I was too scared. I live everyday being the guilty one, and he's living an amazing life. It's ruined my life, and I can't do anything about it.
Lydmeredith I believe you.
its never to late to report it ❤
Lydmeredith I have been in that situation. But dont feel guilty. You don't need to feel that way. It isn't your fault
Lydmeredith 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
b11 5 what if the statue of limitation is up then what its Probably more other girls out there that he'd raped besides me who knows???
So many comments on this section, so many abused people it actually breaks my heart... 😫😫😫
Ikkk😔😔😔
So many fake victims
Daniel Petkov why do u think they’re fake? I’m just asking btw
Daniel Petkov very easy to call someone fake when it doesn’t happen to you
I say that bc there are to many victms don't u think
I was molested by an 18yr old FEMALE from 4-5 and raped at the age of 26 by a ONCE thought to be friends boyfriend. I was EXTREMELY intoxicated and had passed out. I've been living with PTSD and ANGER FOR MOST OF MY LIFE. Started being suicidal by age 8. I DO NOT TALK ABOUT IT NOR HAVE I WANTED TO INTIL NOW. I've been in therapy off and on since 2004. I avoid retelling what happened out of GUILT, SHAME, HURT AND ANGER. I feel like now it's time for me to heal and begin to live a healthy life. Thank you guys so much. I will now FORWARD this video to my husband. That'll be my start.👍
MiSo Badd 💜💜💜💜
it was never your fault. you're a strong and beautiful person, sending love
MiSo Badd u rule
MiSo Badd your clearly lying
Im really sorry, i hope you are doing better, but the way you put those words in caps made me read it really weird i couldnt take it seriosly
“You must’ve wanted it a little bit”
Oh excuse me he was my father and I was almost asleep and 14.
That question makes me sick.
"That question makes me sick."
No. “You must’ve wanted it a little bit” isn't a question.
knrdvmmlbkkn that’s not the important part, you jerk
"that’s not the important part, you jerk"
Do you actually think that addding "you jerk" makes your argument stronger (rather than weaker)?
knrdvmmlbkkn I’m not arguing I’m telling. I just thought you would like to know I thought you were a jerk
Oh god cringe, I hope you’re doing well
What's even more frightening is that 7 out of 10 sexual assaults are committed by someone that the victim knows. It can be hard to defend yourself or speak up when suddenly one of your friends or family members turns on you. These people are brave for speaking up about their experience
Oh Hol thats true tbh my situation was that i was too scared to say something in the beginning. Im in 8th grade and he was my friend so wen he touched me for over 2 years and at first i told him to stop and he would. But it got worse and i would tell my friends and they would say its nothing, that im over exaggerating. So i didnt say anything but it was getting worse and it became a everyday thing. And i couldn't fight him cuz he is too strong and when people would witness this in school they would ignore it. But it was coming to the fact that i was scared for my life and that any day i would get raped in school. I couldnt stand it anymore and told my bestfriend. He told me why didnt you tell me before and why didnt you tell a teacher or parent. 1st i held from telling him because first im scared of how he would react and if he wouldnt care. 2nd i can NEVER tell my mom because im not even supposed to sit by boys and i didnt tell a teacher too because in my school the principals dont do anything but in fact blame the victims. So my bestfriend asked if i was ok or not but all i could say is that i am partially that its my fault. I felt it was my fault it got out of hand and that im weak. One day he forced me to the back of the stairs and tried to made me do things to him. And i was crying and helpless but thank god he heard people in the hallway so he ran. And wen i felt safe i called my best friend. He comforted me and didnt ask questions until i felt better. And at some point he got angry and said im letting him take advantage over me that i need to find a way to escape. He was about to confront him and tell my teacher, but i was crying and told him not to and so he stopped. Since im moving schools i was ok with finishing the end of the school year. He was there for me and was quick to help me when i needed help. Now school is over and im happy but sad i wont ever talk to my bestfriend again. I let the boy go because i felt that it was my fault for not stopping it in the beginning, but ik someone or something will give him what he deserves.
It's not your fault. Consent is always needed, 100%. He did not respect your consent, so he is the one at fault. I'm sorry you went through that and how you felt you couldn't tell anyone
Oh Hol thx tho im just happy i left
For me it was a friend of mine. it took me about a week to tell someone
For me it was my boyfriend at the time...
Once I opened up to a family member about my story and she said "I just didn't think you'd let that happen to yourself, thought you'd fight for yourself" hearing that made my heart drop.
I know it probably dosnt mean much coming from a total stranger but like..... I'm so sorry that happened to you.
Ben Smith 15
I was molested until I was 11 when I got my first period by my grandfather, and I never understood what was happening until I was about 12 I felt horrible, my parents always noticed a sudden change around that age and always asked me what was wrong and I couldn't bring up the courage to say something. I lost my relationship with my father and my brother because I didn't trust anyone. My grandfather lived in the same house as us so he would do it when my parents weren't home when he was baby sitting me, My grandmother was even home! Thankfully he never penetrated me however he tried to use his fingers to "open" me wider I think, it hurt... I feel disgusted everytime I think about it. I knew it wasn't my fault but it killed me everyday not telling anyone. One day I was having an argument with my parent and it spilled out... I never felt more relief and scared in my life. My parents believed me because my aunts and mum went through the same with him for their whole lives. He went to hospital that night faking a heart attack and never admitted what he did and soon after took his own life leaving my dementia prone grandmother behind. I've been through therapy and changed my outlook on life, I still cry sometimes it's normal. Sorry for the long post but I've never posted it anywhere and seeing all your stories encouraged me to. So thank you internet for siding with us real victims love you all and hope you find your peace like I'm trying to. ❤️❤️❤️
Esme Medrano it's disgusting, what some people can do.. I'm sending virtual hug
I was really encouraged by people’s stories too, people’s testimonies are powerful things. You sound like one strong ass individual though and I was really moved by your story so thank you for sharing!
Esme Medrano im so sorry hon, no judgement here just sending love and hugs your way. All power to you and other people who are willing to talk about what they went through. I was first touched when I was 11 years old. Just once.
That was so intense :((
You poor thing. Sending thoughts and prayers 🙏🏻
The situation with your grandad is very similar to one I’ve heard. It’s disgusting how the rapists always repeat the same behaviours
Again sending my love and support, I hope you find peace💞
Yesterday, I read about a woman, who had been getting extreme hate because she didn't inform her rapist that she was HIV-positive, before he raped her. It makes me sick just thinking about it.
The rapist deserved it lol
"She didn't INFORM HER RAPIST" DID THE RAPIST INFORM HE WAS GOING TO RAPE HER!!. that is sick
poor girl
seriously. those person are sick.
Aabidah L Shame on the rapist. He deserves it
I hate people who undermind these situations. Holy shit
HarleyQuinn*
Waldemar Konstantin Snow The girl is probably called Haley and that's why it's not "Harley"
She's clearly using Harley Quinn which her picture suggests.
HaleyQuinn I love the picture of harley quinn and I agree
Vademar of Xeroes it's play on words. a harley quinn fan named haley. isn't rocket science.
"You must have wanted it a little bit..." Sex is supposed to be enjoyable and abusers have been using that against they're victims for years. I HATE being tickled. But the knowledge that I don't like it doesn't stop my body from reacting the way it does... Also, "yes" is the sexiest word in the english language
im sorry man, but the sexiest word is "siluette"
@@pumpkinpumpkinton4764 I think you mean silhouette, which is also not an English word, so....
What do you say about sex workers whom don't enjoy having sex with their customers?
i was asked and i quote "were they cute tho?"
Oh my god.. I'm so sorry... A monster has no other appearance other than pure scum and evil...
That pisses me off. I've known someone like that, and it turns out his parents didn't love him. Dont let their words bother you sweetheart 😟💛
"No, because assailants aren't cute."
The people know the person and say, But hes so cute i wish hed to that to me. ANd im like thats the difference i didnt want it
Disgusting
Went to the comments expecting to see disgusting people talking about the man in this video, and was pleasantly surprised to see otherwise. *Faith in humanity restored*
Same. Been scrolling for about 10 minutes and have only seen people be hard on people who say things like "men cant be raped"
I like that. I only get irritated when people go so far as to say, "men get r*ped just as much as women" because no bruh, 90% of victims are women.
@@philiphamilton9162 and 90% of rapers are men, at least when we're talking about adult victims. Call me a feminist, but facts are facts.
I would love to see a comment that said anything blaming the victim cause if I do I will track you down and replace there floors with legos and put poison in there sugar and needles in there food and kidnap there pets
Why I didn’t fight back, he threatened to hurt my brothers. What I was wearing, a T-shirt, sweatpants, and a hoodie. Was I drunk? No. Did I want it? No. Did I say “no” and made it clear? Yes.
It’s NOT my fault and to anyone who’s gone through this please remember that it’s NOT your fault either.
Sora Night Sky YES EXACTLY 👏🏻
Sora Night Sky ❤
Sora Night Sky Couldn’t be said any better.
Of course it's not the victims fault.
Preach!
I think of my science teacher every time I think of consent
"Consent is not the absence of a no, but the presence of a yes"
That man was very wise and taught me a lot of other things.
Thank you Mr. Greenhouse :)
I have never been sexually assaulted and I count myself lucky because of it! I’m so sorry to anyone who has been sexually assaulted, you don’t deserve it, you didnt ask for it the person is just sick! You’re amazing no matter what anyone says about it
The first comment and maybe the last I see which is not a "victm"
Thank you, I needed this, I’ve had a really hard day today, I had a nightmare last night about my perpetrator and I’ve had a couple flashbacks along with some panic attacks, this comment made me feel so much better
Thank u 🥺💙
@@danielpetkov9956 human garbage
the most hurtful things is talking about it with friends, and them still being friends with your abuser, because ´they regret’
I was once sexually assaulted and I turned the guy to the police, and when the policeman asked me questions he asked "were you drunk?" and "what were you wearing?" ._.
Stina Hansen Ugh I'm so sorry that happened. :c
Stina Hansen A friend of mine was raped and weeks later when we had a sleepover the police called to ask her some questions and her mom set the phone on speaker. The so called "officer" said to her and I quote: She must have enoyed it. Its only natural if she was Wet down there those guys could got into her".. Not only were those words disguisting but the tone was pervy to put it lightly as well 😠. The guy ended up losing his job and the devils got what they deserved.
Stina Hansen did the guy go to jail?
When I went to the police after I was raped they said to me but you did like him. So the case was dropped!
These are legitimate questions asked for evidence collection.
I love how brave these people are, coming out and talking about this
I was thinking the same thing
Mayumi Garcia Should have been one of those notes.
I doubt that gay man was raped by a straight man though. The 'straight man' was clearly gay or bisexual or confused.
He commented it because the man in the video said in the beginning that people accused him of having lived a fantasy by being assaulted by a straight man. Waldemar didn't say anything about knowing someone's sexuality just by looking at them.
The guy himself claimed that a 'straight man' sexually assaulted him so the attacker must of been gay. A straight rapist would raped a woman not a man. LikeSTokio is correct as I never said I knew the sexuality of the man, it's just obvious that a gay man would rape another man unless he was bisexual but h's definitely not straight.
"you guys were dating"
"Hes done it before though"
But i said no and he kept doing it
I’m in the same boat as you hun :( just remember that your experience is still 100% valid and your relationship with him doesn’t make you any less of a survivor, you are strong and brave!
@@pumpkinspicebleach5061 "strong"and "brave"
@@danielpetkov3856 what does that mean?
People act as if when you date someone you love them forever and say yes to so many things. Being in a relationship is so complicated and sometimes u wanna break up w them and dont know how to. Or dont know what love is and you don’t realize you’re not in love. What does being in a relationship have to do with anything
Caseyisdrowning Omg, why don’t people understand this?! A relationship doesn’t entitle you to s*x anytime you want! I sometimes wish these people who claim it’s okay would be r*ped the moment they ever dated someone and then I would see if THEY still thought it was okay bc they were dating. Maybe it’s sick, but in so many situations where victims of stuff are made to feel bad about being victims, if the people shaming them were to experience it themselves, I’m sure they’d never do it again.
The thing that people don't understand about being raped, is the lasting impression it leaves. It happened to me when I was twelve. After that, I couldn't look anyone in the eye, I couldn't be in the same room as any man, I couldn't be in a crowd, or on my own. Now, at seventeen, I am starting to get past this, past the anxiety that this attack made worse, past the PTSD that I got. No, PTSD isn't just something you get after fighting in a war. Think of it as an emotional and mental scar left after a traumatic experience. It has taken me five years to even start trusting people again. There are some people who never fully heal, even after twenty, thirty years. They never caught my attacker. They gave up within two weeks. It's this kind of bullshit that makes me feel unsafe in my own country.
Rant over.
They didn’t catch mine either and they only looked for 4 days
So many "victims" lmao
@@danielpetkov3856 wdym?
@Blessing Osamudiamen how am I a sick person when I'm just telling the truth.
0:08 "but youre gay, and he was straight, isnt that a bit of a fantasy?"
you can see how he tries to keep smiling but cant quite do it...
he's a strong strong man to talk about it
If a straight guy raped another guy doesn't that technically make the straight guy gay?
that's where you know he's lying and most likely drugged someone into sexually assaulting him.
@@cookiecutter5162 The guy can be straight and he may have felt it was a joke, but it went too far. That's how a straight guy may sexually assault a gay guy. Maybe, he did things to mess with him, because he's gay, because it was like a joke to that (straight) guy.
explain again "how a straight guy may sexually assault a gay guy"...a 'joke' doesn't explain it. doesn't happen bud.
I was 7 IM PRETTY SURE I WASNT DRUNK, WALKING ALONE AT NIGHT, DRESSING INAPPROPRIATELY OR ACTING "sexually"
"why didn't you fight?" I hate when people ask me this. In my case, I fought like hell once I realized what was happening, but by then it was too late, he already had me pinned, I couldn't move, I fought so hard. I'm still fighting now, against people who say that kind of thing, and against my anxiety and PTSD resulting from it.
Keep fighting ❤
I can't imagine how someone could be disrespectful towards someone who has been sexually assaulted. It's not their damn fault.
Q Lock How? It can’t be somebody’s fault they got sexually assaulted.
Q Lock Yes, but that isn’t the victim’s fault, more like a kind of effect of the victim’s choice. It doesn’t matter what condition a person is in or what they’re wearing, unless there is consent, you are not being sexual with that person.
The first therapist I ever went to I told her "I was sexually assaulted by my brother while I was asleep" and she said "I don't believe you" ... 🙄 Your job is to AT LEAST listen to my problems. Like, it's the LEAST you can do
Brittany G. My bother used to touch me in my sleep when i was 7. and he had an obsession with me ever since, and a year ago he tried to rape me but the only thing that prevented it from happening is that i tried to stab him in the neck when he tried .
Im thinking of getting a therapist, but my worst fear is that they wouldn't believe me .
Courtney Ronk thank you
sassy moon turkey Do it...you will feel better having telled someone X Don't let what he did go uninformed💜 Good luck bubba
I was sexually assaulted in my sleep as well 😕
yeah when I told a guy I was dating that my brother sexually assaulted me for years, the first thing he said was 'I'm jealous of your brother haha' worst thing I've ever heard. Im terrified to tell anyone, cause everytime the person says something to hurt me.
Yes, man can be assaulted
Chris Hansen Straight mans in the closet
What not to say to someone who has been sexually assaulted
“Did it feel good tho?”
Oh God I heard that once said to someone and I almost gagged
Hannah King People can be so fucked up. It makes me sick, sometimes even to the point where I think I might throw up, that there are people who actually think like that, or even think it’s funny.
That is the worst possible thing........... Right, Ricegum?
and that's on r*ce g*m ✋🤢
@Banna Bread yesss, I was molested by a women when I was 5, it felt good but bad afterwards and I'm extremely sensitive to touch anywhere on my body especially my neck.
They covered the "Men can't be raped" misconception but they left out "Women can't rape" I was raped by three girls when I was young and I've had so many people be like "Oh, that's not really rape" or "At least it wasn't a man" And I'm just like wtf is wrong with you?
I know a guy who was asked, "Why are you upset? It was free sex." Just...I can't even. He was also told he must have enjoyed it, because there are way too many stupid people out there who don't realize a boner is an involuntary response to external stimulus.
Yup. Was waiting for that to be mentioned myself. Also, women can also sexually assault women. Generally, anyone can be a rapist and anyone can be a victim.
MsKsmith1234 . So? No matter what the gender people shouldn’t be sexual assaulted and shouldn’t sexual assault other people
"But the huge majority of perpetrators are men."
What makes you believe that?
Raye J I'm very sorry that happened.
I was nine and I was scared shitless and he was a drunk 40 year old.
How tf would I've fought back???
Fuck, that sounds terrifying.
slvtblussxm have you seriously been asked that!? Oh my god I’m so sorry you had to experience that
Same girl😪
I'm so sorry that you had to experience that.
I am so sorry.
"Were you drunk?" "What were you wearing?"
Bruh i was 13 and had just got out of softball practice. the skin on my arms is totally sexy smh
NO ONE should go through that
It's more so of a situational standard, say if you were 18, dressed like a Persian stripper, and drunk as fuck, as well as on strong drugs then the possibility of being raped is raised, but you also have to take into the account the desperation the Rapist needs for sex. Unluckily some person thought it was nice to see a 13 year old in a softball outfit and decided to do things, very similar to how my own Auntie raped me in my sleep when I was 14, her justification was that I was having a wet dream, so I obviously wanted to fuck someone right?
"very similar to how my own Auntie raped me in my sleep"
In your sleep? So how did you get to know about it?
knrdvmmlbkkn when they woke up possibly
"when they woke up possibly"
So how does one know what happened prior to that?
"why do you want to talk about it"
Well actually I didn't say anything to anyone for two weeks after it happened. And even after that it was difficult talking about it. Now, years later, I'm very open about ALMOST anything difficult that's happened in my life because someone who's struggling might hear me talk about it and open up themselves, which will help them slowly heal. Having my friends to talk to was the best thing I could do so if I can help someone else coming out of their shell, to me or to someone else, I'll talk about it at every opportunity.
The older you get the better your mind gets at evaluating the situation.
I don't understand people. I was 5 when it happened. Wearing shorts that went to my knees and a short sleeve shirt. Telling someone is hard because you feel like it's your fault. People never think about how the person felt, they only care to know the unimportant and rude things.
"Where you drunk?"
I Was five
"Why didn't you fight back?"
I was five
"You must've wanted it a lit bit"
No. I was five.
+-めぐみん leave plz
-めぐみん You need to shut up and realize it could happen to you too. You are disgusting.
"to tell my parents I was raped was the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life"..
When I told my mom that some guy raped me and that I was ashamed and afraid of my life, I heard her heart breaking .. I hated to tell her that her daughter got raped. It was the sadest moment in my life..
Jimin Suga
I believe you.
Are you okay and have you gotten help?
I can't imagine what you've been through. But you are very strong. I don't know what I would do at your place. You had the courage to tell someone. I probably wouldn't.
Plus your username with my 2 biases..girl, I wish you the best👍
I'm so afraid of sexual assualt and I live in the country with the most sexual assault
asprbr shut up, this is a serious topic
My told.me I was a liar :)
It’s really sad. I know girls and boys who have been pressured into saying yes when they really mean no. And people have been constantly bullying them about them asking for it. It is not your fault. You didn’t want it.
I’m a victim of assault and I really want everyone to stay strong ❤️
naddy g ❤
naddy g I was sexually assaulted when I was 16 when I'm trying to stay strong
I am a survivor stay strong
How do you get pressured Into sex and then call it rape?
King Of Combat ' Being too young to understand any better and/or feeling threatened by the abuser. Oftentimes sexual assaults happen in close relationships, so it can be hard to say no. Especially if that person is trusted. These are only examples, there are many more reasons behind it.
"You must've enjoyed it at least a little"
I was 12. TWELVE. No twelve-year-old, or anyone for that matter, asks to be sexually assaulted and/or raped.
Aw I found some of these questions really sad :( whoever actually asks these questions seriously is disgusting
EmilyAnneMargaret well the police and family members ask hose questions smh
I remember being 15 and I walked into a house party with my female cousin and she went upstairs with an older man and she was shouting NO so I ran upstairs just to see him with her up against the wall holding her arm in a lock, I punched the shit out of him. At that time I didn't want to stop I thought if I killed this man right now I could stop him from doing it again. But I knocked him out instead I don't have the guts to kill somebody.
you are a such good person for that !!!!
It's a good thing you didn't kill him because your friend needed you the most
@@Anon_85 I would say that's messed up if it wasn't 3 am and I wasn't almost dead inside
never happened
And then everyone got up and applauded... r/that happened
Smh 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
For anyone who needs to hear this,
From someone who has been you.
It is NOT your fault, it was NOT something you did or something you said.
YOU have NO reason to feel ashamed or less of a human.
The person who did and those who protect them are the ONLY person who should be.
You are strong, you are kind, may your head stands tall and you discovery the power within your self.
You are a survivor, be proud of yourself, and they never won because you are still here.
I am proud of you for making it this far. You can and will beat the pain but until then remember its okay not to be okay.
matty Albertson what makes them strong? It’s not as if they chose to be raped
Warina 69. Youre right we dont. But remembering how to wake up and not think about it every moment takes a lot of energy out of you.
Warina 69 also if you are going to try to call someone out acting like they are victim blaming maybe not try it to a person who is also a survivor. Doesn't work very well because that is a message of love and support and admiration so read it again before you came at me with that foolishness. Thanks
The part I don't get: "You are strong " how are "they"strong did "they" fough their rapist and kicked his ass or something or I just don't get it ?
I was raped at 6 by a preacher, I've heard a lot of these questions before whenever I actually opened up about my trauma. A lot of people say that because I'm Aro-Ace that it shouldn't have been easy for him to do what he did. Seeing this honestly helps me feel a bit better about what happened.
Well I was 4 years old so im pretty sure I wasn't drunk.
KawaiiBread That's what my friend says to people who ask him that. "You wanted it didn't you" "Did you give them any hints to it" "Were you wasted". Everytime he says "I was like 8 so no" it's really shitty that people try to blame the victim first
I'm so sorry for what happened. Please don't stop sharing. We need conversation to be happening around this topic. Stay strong ily x
KawaiiBread pretty sure no one asked
+WoddlesAndNoddles Chill, this entire comment section is full of people sharing their stories, they were just contributing theirs.
WoddlesAndNoddles well then leave
"He probably had a crush on you" was the worst thing I've ever heard. Having a crush doesn't make up for it at all.
Long, loose fitting jeans. A high cut t-shirt. And a zip-up hoodie. That's what I was wearing.
I did not ask for it, because why would anyone ask to be sexually assaulted and humiliated?
I spoke up and reported him to the police because I wanted to protect myself. I was 13 and terrified for my life at that point and I'm glad I did because 5 other girls had the courage because of me to speak out against our attacker.
"Kids lie"... what 13 year old girl is going to torture herself with interviews and court hearings and bullies and being attacked for speaking up if it didn't actually happen?
"Oh it's happened more than once? You must be lying"
Yes, because I am going to lie at 4 years old. I'm going to torture myself through middle school and high school. That's every young girls dream, don't you know?!
I have been asked every question in this video and I am so proud of the men and women who do not feel lesser about themselves for being asked these questions and being verbally attacked about their abuse. Talking about my attacks have saved my life. If it weren't for my friends and family who actually believed in me, I would not be alive 6 years after being forced to the ground by a man twice my size, being forced to walk home covered in dirt and semen, crying and terrified for my life and my safety.
"I bet you secretly loved it"
It's no secret that I'd love to bitch slap every person who has the audacity to speak to me that way.
The more you talk about it the more awareness there is. The more everyone talks about it, the more society will expect greater accountability from those who committed the crime. Ignore the people who say you are lying or other negative things because they don't want to believe the world is full of dark things and that the person who did this is one of them. And the more you talk the more you will heal. So keep talking.
The world is changing and will keep changing as long as you raise your voice.
NO ONE should go through that
Kaitlyne Mae My love goes out to you 💕
Oh my gosh, you've been through so much. You're so strong for surviving and standing up for yourself ❤
Me and everyone else who likes your comment is proud of you✨
"why didn't you fight?"
She was my girlfriend, and she *psychologically forced* me to have sex with her, saying that I wasnt enough for her. So I, a 12 year-old (at the time), said that it was ok, but it was not
@soy delRojo Not true. Also her age doesn't matter
@@apeescapefan I'm sorry you had to go through that. Male survivors of abuse need to be more recognized and supported.
@soy delRojo stooooooppppp go buy a brain then don't come back
What are you saying bruh? You mean even consent is not enough?
Uhm... I'm a girl y'all, and when you're coerced and blackmailed it's not consent, it's rape
to everyone who has been sexually assaulted/raped, stay strong
The "I believe you" really does feel good. A man who used to do my hair, was told about the situation because I was really young and he said, "Are you sure you didn't tempt him?" .... I don't know how an 8 year old tempts a grown man but okay...
I agree with the 8 year old comment. That is why I make a point to always believe in children, over something so serious. My Mum failed me in this and I never want to make the same mistake as her.
MITCH!!!!
Endless Awakening That is the most wonderful thing you can do.
We should start believing in children more or at least give them enough support for them to know who they can turn to when they really need help.
Okay first of all, I know right. I was 7 years old when someone molested me, and I've stopped telling people because I always got those comments. "You should've just fought back" "You could've done something" NO. I WAS SEVEN. Second of all, hEY FELLOW PENTAHOLIC
I agree that you shouldn't be asked whether you tempted him or anything like that, however when it comes to sexual assault victims coming forward, it seems people forget about the idea of innocent until proven guilty and expect the justice system to simply arrest someone based on your word.
When I was at a bar in turkey a "friend" tried to force himself onto me. Luckily he was near my height and not that strong. I managed to get away by punching him in the throat and bruising his balls. He had spent the whole night bragging about all the girls he's hooked up with even though he has a girlfriend. I found the girl on fb and told her what happened along the with entire list of girls. It's a small community so not a single girl will even talk to him now.
Your a badass and he deserved it
YASSS he got what he deserved
yeah because assault is always the answer
UGSDIT well what was she supposed to do? Let it just happen?
Thethechnoumbreon 007 telling some sort of security, just say fuck off, call the cops if he goes that far. you cant just assault someone just because a drunk guy wants to fuck you
My boyfriend and I have both experienced sexual assault, and when he finally opened up about what happened I just broke down. It’s so awful that people don’t take men seriously when they have experienced sexual assault. It’s just as awful. And it breaks my heart just thinking about it right now.
"They could be lying" Alright but so could literally anybody else about any crime. Assault,grand theft,murder, anything. Yet somehow it seems like sexually assaulted people get the worst of the "they could be lying".
MargaritaMolly with in 2 day span, it has evidence in their area, but u can't take a shower cuz seaman will go out. They go to doctor to do a test. but yeah they could be lying if they dont have evidence
MargaritaMolly yeah um most other crimes have a lot of physical forms of evidence
MargaritaMolly because it's hard to prove.
No they don't.
Insurance scams happen all the time.
Chainhog IdkwhatToPutAsLastNameXD Imagine someone saying that they got something stolen from them. And you asked "are you sure you didn't let them take it? You didn't give it to them?"
This doesn't happen with any other crime.
”You must’ve wanted it a little bit.”
I WAS 5. HE WAS MY BROTHER!
Listen, If you want to someone about their experience, be respectful.
Thats a disgusting question.
Me too....that's truly horrible. Stay strong💜
Yea I just looked at a guy on my school bus and said yea right here right now
SWEET HOME ALAABAAAMAAAAA!
@@toetoegan8999 not the best time nor place
@@nutellacastle Bruv she the one that posted this shit in youtube comments
High up police lady of the sexual assault department “ do you know how to say no ??” Well I spent two hours telling a man no and pushing him away and off of me but I guess that means yes .
you would think they would know how inappropriate it is to say that.
2 hours ??
Hiii even tho I don't know who you are I want you to know THAT AL OF THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT *KEEP SLAYING*
Victims are always the guilty ones for the police... that‘s very sad. You would think that something like that would only happen in third world countries, but sadly not... it shouldn‘t even happen there...
the victim has it rough enough and then such things like that to say are more than horrible...
I‘m sorry that this happend, I hope that you are doing good!
Oh thank GOD theres a dude in there, I'm glad we recognized that dudes also get sexually assaulted.
Thank you
@@danielpetkov3856 great job taking what I actually said completely out of context.
@@thenerdmaster9381WTF bro I was joking wtf are serious man you must be kidding me
@@danielpetkov3856 bro what u said doesnt sound like a joke to anyone dont be shocked
@@dontask8051 of course it doesn't sound like one if ur a boomer lmfao 🤣
@@danielpetkov3856 i already can tell youre like 5 because no one uses boomer anymore
I was 15. I walked into the station. I told the police officer at the front desk, he said that they'll keep a look out for him. They didn't take a proper statement from me, they didn't even bring me into a room, nothing at all. Didn't even bat an eyelid, just said they'd keep a look out.
I was 15, I had no idea what the protocol was so I didn't ask for more. I'm now 28. I know what they should have done now but it's too late.
There so dumb 🤦
Its never too late.
"Why didn't you report it?"
1) Because my dad sided with the molester and told me to keep it a secret.
2) Because if I did, he straight up would have been kilked. And you can't just ask an eight year old to deal with that.
"Why didn't you report it?"
1) I was scared, he was my best friends brother, I didn't want to ruin their family.
2) I didn't understand how serious it was, I wasn't even a teen yet.
Only 8? That's like the age of my bby sister and i would rip apart whoever touched her with my bare hands. I'm sorry for what u experienced at such a young age
Wow, you are all so brave for doing this!! Thank you!
USCHI LOU I wouldn’t call them brave
They're narcissists, not brave. And they're probably lying, anyway.
Wow, such totally shitty people have responded to this!
Echo Bluff yes because apparently everyone that has been sexuality assaulted are automatically lying! They're not lying you ignorant fuck! You saying that each one of these people are lying is like saying that it doesn't exist when it very well does!
I'm thinking that the ones who say we're all liars are either all bitter teens who have spent too much time being brainwashed on mra subreddits and not enough time among actual women, or they're sexual predators themselves, trying to cover their pathetic asses.
"Why didn't you fight back?"
I was 5 and I trusted my older brother
😭😭😭😭😭
Thanks for not just including women
Christopher Jones there is a power play in the rape and although rape against men by women is 100% possible and has happened more than once its extremely uncommon due to not only cultural aspects but also evolutionary aspects. The average height for a woman is 5’4 while the average height for a man is 6 inches more at 5’10. Men tend to carry more muscles and be more muscular than women which makes it easier to hold down, grab things. As well as the fact that muscle weighs more than fat. The reason rape is more commonly shown as a male on a woman is because evidence wise and just the way people are physically built it would be much easier for a man to overpower a woman than the other way around. Still talking about male rape victims is extremely important and necessary for the normalization of boys and men asking for help when they’ve been assaulted, raped, or abused. So it was good they included a male.
Elle D I’m 100% willing to talk about the violence experienced by men within all settings but I will not discuss it when it’s being used as a tactic to distract from the atrocities committed against women. DONT ONLY BRING UP MENS ISSUES WHEN DISCUSSING WOMENS ISSUES.
Elle D men being raped is extremely important to discuss, and the normalization and promotion of men asking for help and sharing their experiences is vital to the fight of ending rape and sexual violence against all people. However it’s extremely disrespectful and disappointing to not only the women you invalidate by throwing their rape to the side because “men don’t get talked about enough” but to the men as well who’s rape is only brought up and considered valid when used to discredit rape statistics amongst women.
@@samobrien2590 please don't... This isn't okay.
Fazluna I never said it was. My perspective has changed but my message wasn’t ever disregard them in fact I said several times not to and that supporting male victims is important and necessary. However my view on assault has widened with meeting more male victims. I stand by the fact that statistics prove this is a more common female experience than men but Im disappointed in my words for everything else. Perspective and education change in a year.
As a girl who was raped by my best friend (another girl) videos like this are amazing. So many people told me I was lying or that what happened "doesn't count". It tore me apart and really hurt. I'm in counselling now, its been 9 months, I still haven't gone to the police and I'm not ready. People still put that pressure on others and it is horrible.
marswirlworld I suggest you go to the police soon.You may not feel ready but the later you wait justice leaves your door.
Elle D it’s not her fault if it happens to someone else. She has the right to cope on her own way. I never took my abuser to court. That doesn’t mean it was my fault if he hurt anyone else. It’s no ones fault but his.
I believe you. Stay strong girl!
same happened here, then her crazy mom supported her saying she didnt then forced me to date her :^))))
i ha t e
I hope you're doing better now.
Just a reminder, rape isn’t the only form of sexual assault. I hope everyone that’s gone through any sort of sexual assault is doing okay, and feels brave enough to get the help they deserve.
Shannon Louise Thank you❤️ we need the same support as everyone else who has been raped. Yeah I wasn’t raped, but I was assaulted while I said no
Yeah I figure everyone will kinda think I was raped if I say I was sexual assaulted. I wasn’t raped but it’s easier to say sexual assaulted than molested
Exactly! I wasn’t raped, but she was tracing her hands along my inner thighs, pressing against me despite my attempts to get away and her hand in places nobody’s should’ve ever been.
She’d pin me against lockers and get far too close, she’d get on top of me while I was trying to fall asleep.
I developed a phobia of public bathrooms because I thought she’d burst into my stall and take the final step.
She didn’t rape me, but it definitely was sexual assault.
I had *interactions* with my cousin but sadly I told my parents and they said I cou ld still hang out with him :/ I was *TEN*
Shannon Louise thank you for saying that! I cannot stand when people say “oh well at least you weren’t raped!” Like that makes it any better! That is honestly I big reason why one 4 people in my life know about what happened to me. But thank YOU for not saying that and for realizing rape is NOT the only form of sexual assault 🖤
it happened when i was 10, the boy was 13. he was my best friend's boyfriend. he said that if i told anyone he would say i seduced him, and everyone especially my "best friend", would hate me. some days later, i found out she knew it all the time, because it was her plan, she wanted to ruin my life... and she did it very well. the worst month of my life.
pd: now she claims to be a feminist...
@Breanna Clement it's fine, i'm trying to get over that part of my life. i feel like a new me already :)
Weird story but I believe you kind a you don't sound like a fake victim
@@danielpetkov9956 well, yeah, it's kinda weird, but nope, it's not fake sadly
@@hiilovetosing4863 aw, thank you bby! :(
Did u tell your parents, it can help if you tell your parents
"You just made that up for attention" or "If you didn't remember all of it, it couldn't have been that traumatic". Those are the worst that have been said about me.
You know, it's dishonest people who are least likely to trust something like this.
If something happens to you like this then you can get a good idea who is trustworthy, because the more trustworthy they are, the more likely they are to believe you. It is useful to be able to tell someone this when they doubt you as well haha.
Anyone who says that about not remembering it does not have any idea about how humans cope with trauma. It is very normal to blank some of it.
I hope you have someone to talk to who does believe you, and I hope you are doing ok.
It’s more traumatic because I don’t remember. I was on too many drugs to move. K will make you that way , I don’t want him in trouble I just don’t know what’s going on.
wow. it really sucks that some people can be so evil and terrible in this world.
these people are, VERY brave. to be in this video.
No they’re not
Its sad that rape is actually more common than people think. There is a great chance you know someone who has been raped.
And a bigger chance that you know those who raped.
Vademar of Xeroes like 1 in multiple thousand people have committed sex crimes, I'm pretty sure I don't know any rapists my friend.
I go to a "upper class" private school and whenever rape is mentioned, everybody talks about that stuff like this never happens in our circles. In Reality I know 4 girls who were raped, all of them were 14-16 when it happened and those are only the ones who told me about it...
Rebbi LiebtKekse they were probably asking for it, or made it up.
Eoghann Gibson OR you can stop with the culture of victim blaming
“What were you wearing?”
*Clothes*
👍🏾
i was drunk as hell and said yes but the man made me so uncomfortable and scared while it was happening and when i told him to stop several times he just kept going. every time i tell the story people blame me and i understand why but it still hurts
that's still rape and your experience is still valid. I'm so sorry that happened to you. find people who understand and stay with you, stay strong.
@@Lovebug56689 im okay tbh it just annoys the hell out of me when people invalidate me :/ thank you man. but hey a fellow army!!
@@superofelia123 army!
You don't deserve the blame he does I have your back
emiliemilleb that’s still rape same thing happen to me I was sober tho but I said yes but then asked him to stop and he wouldn’t ....
Sending all of you a hug. You are all brave people, and you didn't deserve it.
"Why didn't you fight?" "Were you drunk?"
Bruh I was 6 and why would I be drunk now even? Im 15
NSI Gamer idk man these days those preschools have some hard ass drugs (sarcasm)
Frankie I-emo Yea, always sneaking their meth into class, as a teacher, I always have to stop kids from injecting themselves with hard drugs in the middle of cla-TOMMY STOP SNIFFING COCAINE
Damn, my daycare must've had some wicked alcohol.
3:13 "It makes you feel guilty about having wanted to be close with somebody, having been flirting with someone, or having trusted somebody.. No, That's not a sin."