Adult Toddlers, Part 1: Traits of Emotionally Immature Narcissists and Borderlines
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- Опубликовано: 3 июл 2024
- Dr. Tara Palmatier, PsyD - www.shrink4men.com
contact: shrink4men@gmail.com
Facebook: / shrink4men
Twitter: / shrink4men
Since beginning Shrink4Men in 2009, I’ve frequently described narcissists, borderlines, psychopaths, histrionics and other emotionally immature individuals as children in adult bodies, or emotional toddlers. That’s because these individuals think, relate and behave much younger than their actual physical age.
In other words, they exhibit a persistent lifelong pattern of emotional and psychological immaturity. In this respect, they’re arrested at an earlier stage of development. This is one of the reasons these people are considered personality disordered.
It isn’t possible to have a mutually reciprocal adult relationship with a child. Nor can you have a functional adult relationship with a child in an adult’s body. Individuals with these characterological deficits simply lack the capacity to build stable adult relationships. This is why many of clients say they feel like more of a parent than a partner to their disordered spouses and exes. Or rather, a parentified child, taking care of an adult toddler.
Read article here: shrink4men.com/2019/08/18/adul...
Oh, wow. I just found your videos. I've been studying narcissism and arrested development but have finally put them together. The shocking thing is how many people in the world walk around as grown children. It's the invasion of the body snatchers all over again. Thank you for your work.
"If you've been in a relationship with one of these individuals, you probably think of yourself as conflict-avoidant. It's more likely that you avoid conflict because of how your partner or ex does conflict." TRUE.
Makes a lot of sense. I always considered myself very free-spirited.
In many cases, yes.
I'm always stepping on the glass to avoid braking her egg shells...
@@embrj1453 totally used to do the same. Lived it, still live it, can’t get out of it. Feel stuck. I feel hopeless!!!!
Before divorce: How am I going to live without my spouse?
After divorce:
How did I live with a toddler as a spouse for 15 years?
I am making light of the whole thing but it is like being under a spell when you’re addicted to a BPD person. I have also been enlightened to the fact that being a codependent is messed up too.
Unfortunately, maturity for most seems to be an illusion. I've discovered over the years that many people may put up a facade ("the face we show the world") of being normal, mature, composed etc, but given enough time, that mask or facade tends to slip, especially the more naturally inclined you are to make people feel comfortable. When people feel free to be their true selves, that's often when the years of repressed toxic sludge will come out and be projected, when we're no longer supplying them with the necessary emotional stimulation - through no change in our behavior, of course. What's familiar is boring!
I haven't dated in years now, but a general rule of thumb I followed as I got older was to not get caught up in the early emotional upswings where infatuation is going to be normal (even if it's not excessive, as is usually the case with BPDs and NPDs), but to ride out the wave and wait to see how my partner is when things aren't so new and exciting anymore, and wait to see how they deal with conflict.
Many people are great at pleasing their partners in the early throes of a relationship, when everyone's on cloud 9 and little princess or beloved Timmy can do no wrong, and they'll often say or do all the right things, even apologize, but this is a mask or a ruse for many, as time, being the Great Revealer, often shows us.
That's why I recommend taking it slow. And if you see something, say something.
I feel the same way. Sage advice.
You haven’t dated in years! Why?
I did that for a 7 year period because I was gravely injured and needed crazy time to heal and regain my willingness to go out there. ( Also I got comfortable and didn’t want to get out again) What happened with you?
@@JayJordanJuly It's been 8 years for me.....Partly because of comfortable but also because I too was gravely injured by a narc PD many years ago....There's also many narcs and BPD's out there...It's kind of a mine field and i'd rather be alone forever than ever tolerate any shit....We live in a very narcissistic society so there's not much hope.
@@7Earthsky I agree, unfortunately.
"They have to have all the cookies." True Story: While I was still living with the ex narc we had three donuts in the refrigerator. She ate two of them and I ate one, and when she learned that I had eaten one of the three she was raging mad. I couldn't understand why at the time, and I remember calling her out on this behavior in front of her family, and her response on why she was angry that I ate one doughnut; "Because you ate it at the wrong time."
* Narcissists are frozen in a state of “arrested emotional, psychological, and moral development. They have “adult tantrums” to get attention, treat their boredom, and to get their way.*
Yep.
@@shrink4men makes my spine shiver
@@shrink4men thank you for bringing up the male!
It means so much.
My mother 'rescues' me from my abusive dad and I don't want to be abused and 'rescued' by my mother. It's just drama. She has been warped, she thinks life is about being a victim. She tries to reel me into the 'good cop bad cop' drama with my dad, it is torture. She thinks this is the meaning if life. It hurts me.
She thinks i have to 'communicate with my father' and 'meand that relationship'. Why? I do nothing wrong, he hits and berates me. Why do i have to listen to what I need to do?
It's heartbreaking that my sister and I had to put up with this all the time. My sister continues to help them to pay them back for making them suffer when she is young. Devotion to them is what they say she owes them.
I am the 'selfish one' who just avoids them. I don't care.
They BULLY, BULLDOZE, TALK OVER .They don't LOVE you. They "love" based on what YOU DO FOR THEM. They "need you" to clean up their messes....My life for 30 YEARS. At this point, I feel it's too late to ever have a REAL relationship. I'm too exhausted & tainted...But I now see being alone & in PEACE....not such a bad alternative. After all, IM basically ALONE ANYWAY. Thanks for the enlightenment.
It sucks to only be valued for utility. After too long around a group like that, it is easy to forget that there are healthy others who would not weaponize their approval.
Some years ago, I had a friend, who was having some problems, to come live in my home. Worst mistake ever! It was like living with a hormonal teenager. When I needed to strongly confront her on an issue, after sweetly bringing it to her attention and getting nowhere with her, she totally took on a victim role. Then, some years later when I had to tell her no, she ghosted me.
Sometimes you don't really know someone until you live with them. Or travel with them.
@@shrink4men #TRUTH
I always enjoy your videos, delivering the truth in a plain and funny way , no sugarcoating needed! Thank you
Thank you. That's very kind of you.
Lord...where are you?????
I love your videos! 😊 So informative in a comical way.
Thank you!
This is one of the best videos yet. I had to stop and think do I really want that back?
“Poopy diaper face” for my ex was when she would stop wearing her engagement ring. Five times during our one year engagement, it was the tell tale sign of an impending explosion and a breakup. The ring would disappear, and I would begin the appeasement dance to avoid the inevitable. This time it has been six weeks since she broke up. The crazy thing is that she broke up every single time because, wait for it... we weren’t married yet. She could not grasp that I wasn’t prepared to enter a marriage with someone who couldn’t stay in an engagement for more than a month at a time. Said I was “selfish.”
You dodged a nuclear missile! Her blissful lack of self-awareness is staggering
Went thru the same thing and I saw the red flags but yet still married her like a jackass lol she left a month after the marriage for someone else lol I should’ve ended it then but wait for it….i still stayed another 3 years 🙄 but now I’m out and so glad cuz once the fog lifted I can now understand what I was dealing with
There are so many people I used to think of as friends and who called themselves "Your friend, Ben", that fit this description. I have not seen them for years and would refuse to go near them if they attempted to approach me now.
Had to watch this one 3 times. Too many jewels.
Thank you. I'm glad you find it helpful.
Devalued, discarded and replaced.... 7 times. I controlled the final discard and went 100% ghost. It took me 45 years on this earth to come up against this type of highly disordered human. He was my DAD (traits of) emotionally immature, unstable, unpredictable and GOOFY. I now need to look within as to why I allowed it to go on that long.
1) tantrums (yes, yes, yes) I have never seen anything like it. It’s been almost 90 days no contact. Oxytocin and adrenal levels feel like they are leveling back to normal. I’ve never welcomed BORING AND NORMAL more than ever into my life. I’ve enjoyed your videos on how boring relationships are GOOD! Thank you, Dr. T. You are such a great help in healing. I truly appreciate all of your videos. I’m conflicted avoidant until I feel unsafe. If my safety (financial, physical, emotional) safety is threatened.... I go super Nova.
It can be especially difficult to go No Contact with a parent. Lots of cultural taboos and guilt.
SuperNova Good for you!!!! I had my own breaking point with my sick parents also. Step father was also bratty toddler man. Mom is a brainwashed flaming codependent. Siblings are all screwed up too and most of their kids are none the wiser. And yes, it’s still very taboo but it’s def the right thing to do. Eventually the dust settles tho, and you’ll be far better off without all of them mucking up your life. I had a couple of experiences not too long ago also with men who wound up being a lot like him and I also think “boring” sounds like a very good option these days. But really it’s peace tho isn’t it? I see how anxious they made me. I rather like the calmness of all this peace nowadays, even tho it’s really just me, myself and I atm. I was able to move on with temp no contact and then later very low contact. But idk. Some are so toxic that NC is the only real option. Some fam members won’t get it. I only did this cuz my mom came around a bit (or enough or sufficiently) to respect my boundaries. It’s tough....not gonna lie, but SO worth it. I had to really put my foot down with my mom cuz she was so enmeshed with him. I had to be willing to lose her too if needs be. It’s a crap shoot tho with the enablers and fam members who are still caught up in it. And while it’s painful to find out who will stand with you or to what degree, it’s liberating too. It reveals who stands with whom and to what degree and that’s the kind of stuff we need to know. And there will def be fam casualties. There are some I can’t have relations with because of him, but it’s just the way it has to be really if we want to heal and change our lives for the better.
They say 7 times is the average amount of times of breaking up. (Just stick with it and don't go beyond that number like I used to!). Good job!!
@@goodenoughgirl8102 Same with my family of origin except it's my mom who's the toddler. I visit these videos more for family issues than a former friend and girlfriend that I finally got rid of. And that said, family lives thousands of miles away from where I do! I'm just about at the borderline of doing what you're about to do. Good for you for making the tough move. I'm done with my siblings
As I man (25m) struggling from anxiety & co dependancy, I had a extremely intense 1 year relationship with what I believe was bpd from major childhood trauma and extreme daddy issues & I barely understood what was even happening when we were fighting, it’s exactly like arguing with a 3 year old. These videos help me a tremendous amount understand why she did the things did & how it won’t change and just end up being miserable and even more broken. Thankyou so much for these
I liked it before I even listened to it just because of the title. You never disappoint.
Thanks, DeAnn!
Time 14:30 ish: the quote " I want what I want when I want it." my soon to be ex-lives by that creedo and used to proudly say it out loud until the first marriage counselor we went to shamed her for it. all that changed about that was that she just stopped saying it. This whole video stuck very close to home. thanks and can't wait for part 2
My soon ex-wife was abusive. She would reflect onto me that I was narcissistic and gas lighting. Every video you've shared has hit on her personality.
After more than 21 years, the pieces are starting to come together- thx SO much for this amazingly insightful information ❤️
Oh wow, I'm so grateful I happened across your channel! What a glorious mix of hilarious wit and spot on information! Thank you Dr. Tara, you're truly the bomb! 💣💚
You're welcome. Glad you find my work helpful.
Im greatful too hoping to sort my life from the hell im in atm
@@shrink4men Thank you Dr. Tara so much for offering your knowledge, wisdom and strategy building skills to all of us struggling for both answers and rebuilding ourselves into people that are bulletproof from NPD/BPD abuse. You are saving my life and sanity truely ( and wallet with no doubt for hours of priceless therapy) You are in my prayers of thanks :)Thank you! Many Blessings and peace to you!
Is it just me, or does everyone scout the room for the puppers at the beginning of each vid ... lol.
Well, they are adorable.
Yep, there’s usually one of the cute pups right over Dr. Tara’s left shoulder and the other snuggled in the chair. Nice little friends.
Guilty ✋. My Bogle had an innate narcissist detector sense in him. He would sit right next to me and continuously growl when my brother and father were around. If they moved suddenly, he would speak out his disapproval.
Wow. Wish someone had told me this this 30 years ago. This is eye opening--thank you so much! Cat wait for part 2!
You're welcome! Should have Part 2 posted next week.
Can't reason with an unreasonable person.
It’s actually eerie the way Dr T methodically works her way through each article ... talking & casually swatting away my internal codependent excuses for doing what I’m doing with this weeks new narcissistic girlfriend.
I listen to these because I’m eternally convinced that this weeks Narc is markedly different from all the others I’ve found and tried to rescue. When will I learn?
Back to the drawing board. Hoping to attract a healthy woman this time.
This is one of the best videos that I have watched about these people and the toxic and manipulative relationships that they cultivate. Excellent, excellent video, Dr. T. Excellent! Please keep up your great work. I can’t wait to book a session/consultation with you about my current relationship.
By the way... The plane story was hilarious!
I'm here for your truth bombs Dr Tara and this episode has been explosive thank you.
You're welcome!
@@shrink4men,I'm back for another viewing and now merely smile along with your insightful knowledge doctor. It's been eighteen months since she ghosted me and my life has yet again become exquisite in the serenity of being single. It's funny because the past eighteen months have been full of learning,acceptance and personal growth, I'm content in my simplified lifestyle. Thank you once again for being such a wonderful online mentor to this 57 year old bloke, Tara you almost qualify as being a unicorn,...lol
this was so spot on-just amazing content-thank you so much-it was everything I experienced-but hearing it spoken was very healing-Narcs try to isolate you, and even when you are wise to their tricks, there is comfort experiencing not being isolated
Such a great video!! Love how simple you put everything. 🙏🏼
Love your channel. And your witty humor. Great videos and amazingly detailed information. Thank you so much for posting, Dr.
Very good Dr. Tara, thank u so much for sharing ur experiences. The healing journey is not a quick trip, but with each day in survival we begin to find our inner piece. The solution to stoping this crazy is to look with in and fix ourselves. This is a long hard journey. Please believe in the good Dr.’s analyses, it comes from the heart and unfortunately her own experiences. I know I have a way to go yet, but with each new day, it gets a little bit better. We will survive and we will thrive once again !
Love this! More people need to know about your work 🙏
I appreciate that!
Lol! The story on the flight!!!! Lol... I’m trying to pump gas at Costco and I exited my car in tears of laughter
Yeah. That was a fun flight. I couldn't even sedate myself because I drove myself home.
Fantastic insights: Cluster Bs don't have the skills to maintain a long-term, stable, healthy relationship. And the reason is that the model of an adult is their parent, who was most likely a Cluster B themselves--mine was. And, yes, to the fact that Cluster Bs will take recourse to Law Enforcement when they realize you've figured them out and start holding them accountable for it. It happened to me. Once you figure them out, it goes downhill quickly... and will never improve or return to the new relationship energy state. As bizarre as it sounds--and it is--no contact is the only solution.
Until now i didnt know these type of people existed ive now been discarded 4 years of abuse. Thank you for sharing
The original relationship energy was faker than an e-mail from a Nigerian Princess telling you that you've inherited a million dollars and should send your bank details......You've lost nothing when these wasters exit your life.
Wow Doc. I have to clip that last two minutes of the video and listen to it over and over again. Thank you.
"Poopy diaper face" hehehe...know it well!
Usually followed by the silent stare or glare.
Looking back I can't believe I put up with it.
I am far from perfect but my God it was emotionally draining.
This is a perfect description!
After the face , the next line was “ is there an atmosphere between us ?” ( even though I was in a good mood ) . Cue 2-3 hrs of bitching about something completely trivial . I don’t miss that s**t one bit .
Dr. Palmatier, thank you for this video. I had this experience of becoming parentified as a child. My earliest memories of having to take care of my mom was when I was 6. And, I had to take care of myself and learn everything from experience.
Awesome! You explain it like a pro. And, obviously as someone who has experience. Thank you for doing what you do!
Clearly One of the best advice/talk in youtube regarding the said topic!
So incredibly well put. Helpful. Thank you. 💕💭. " ...have to grow up fast. "
Drama Lhamas..... Lol... How appropriate, they spit on everything.
Launch is another excellent term!
This was so Great!! Thank you so much! Such 💯💯💯💯 I really needed to hear this! So helpful! Your videos are 💯💯💯💯🙏
You're welcome. Thank you!
2125 to the end is soooo Powerful...I have watched this over and over...I have watched a few thousand videos in the last 2 years and this Video here at the end goes down as One of my favorites....Thank you
This is my mother all the way. I am in therapy to stop the traits I learned from her. My sister does not see any of this and the abuse she did growing up. She was the favorite child and threw tantrums and mind games with me when she was bored.
I' have NOT talked to my older sister for years. Good riddance to bad garbage!
Thank you for this video. I cried because this is exactly what I’m dealing with at home and his family. I even recognized a co worker that was being enabled with his tantrums and because all of us want to quit all the sudden it’s a problem. Thank you for elaborating exactly what I’m going through that now if anyone asks why I left I can just refer them to this because it says it ALL. My father in law was my rock until I realized he enabled this behavior more and now I’m done I’m running for the hills.
This video is so good. It's transformational if you can absorb it. For me, it was the statement about conflict. I thought I was afraid of conflict, but now I see I was afraid of what they do with conflict, which is, in the end, I LOSE! Laughing! That's what abusers do.... they make you wrong! Thank you Tara and keep going... woo hoo!
You're welcome. It can be a revelation that there are actually adults who can handle disagreements without name-calling, kitchen sinking and all the other high-conflict antics. In fact, when handled well, conflict can actually strengthen a relationship and more intimate. Because you can trust that even when upset, your partner isn't going to hurt you.
@@shrink4men Your video blogs are so important! I just about lost everything recently, with death, law suits, smear campaigns, scapegoating, death threats, restraining orders.....etc. I was so naive, just this lamb of God bopping along, and then the wolves came.... I will never see the world the same again! Thanks so much! Their goal in conflict, wasn't to resolve an issue, it was to severely punish, because I upset the order.... I needed to get back in line, not upset their world order... how dare I question them! Holy cats.... RUN!
You have been the best for the last eight years, of watching your stuff.
Cannot wait to hear this.
Thanks!
@@shrink4men Listening again helps me know what I am not missing. It is very sad though.
Got years right 53 year old barely acting like adult and completely obliviuos of it.
Thank you. You keep me thinking correctly when I feel vulnerable to the fantasy.
They brag and embellish. So selfish and needy.
I remember when in July 1969. Neil Armstrong landed on the moon . My narc mother was remarried to my narc step father ex Marine. Mr. Full metal jacket. Sgt.
She was in the kitchen. I was 13. She was at the kitchen sink throwing a tantrum. Smashing a steel pot on the stove. And turn to me and said I wish you were never born. My bio father died in 1959 when he was 28. I was 3. From Leukemia. Hodgens disease. Don't ask about the daily beatings from both. And daily getting jumped at school each day. For they could tell the weak Simba.
Incredibly insightful video. Thanks
Dr T, thank you for helping me understand me.
I very carefully listen.
(Interspersed with a deep smile)
Thanks for awakening my recognition to a perspective lost.
You're welcome. Thank you for your encouragement.
My malignant narcissist ex -wife used to curl up in a ball and suck her thumb when she was slipping into one of her episodes. This went on for 10 years.
That sounds disturbing.
When I first started learning about NPD (after the divorce) and how they were “adult toddlers “ it all started to make sense. It was very bizarre though.
This video really hits home! I spent almost a year and half with a borderline (undiagnosed). I’m almost 5 months out of the relationship with no contact and I’m just now getting myself together. I’m finally realizing it was not love she was giving me.
Really good analysis, describes exactly what I've always noticed and been aware of with narcissists but I didn't have words for it. I have been thinking that they probably have some kind of intense parental trauma one of the critical bonding/attachment phases as a baby, and have been stuck in that loop with their psyche trying to recreate and repair that interactions dynamic/ experience
This woman is funny as hell! Thank you for another informative video.
My ex would get jealous of me making a fruit smoothie for myself... Of course I would always kindly offer one to her, and early on she loved them, but over time she would refuse. The reason? She wanted me to make one exclusively for her, without me even thinking of making one for myself.
Lol
Wow everything resonates. Thank you for sharing x
As usual , candid and deadly accurate.
Thank you.
Thank you this needed to be said
I had to take care of my little brother at the age of 10. My mom put my dad into debt and he had to work two jobs for a year to get out
Another great video!!!!! I was an only child and often felt like I had twins - those kids of mine fault like cats and dogs. My first job before child labor laws was referee!!!!! So glad I woke up and can live the rest of my life in peace! Your work speaks volumes!!! Warmest regards.
Thanks, Karen!
Launch is a great term too. Navy does it a lot. Especially from carrier's. Your video Dr T. Just reminded me about self care. That's what I'm working on most right now. Coming off adrenal fatigue. That denial of self care to one's self. Is a sin or missing the mark towards one's own common sense.
On a positive note - after a BRUTAL relationship I had in my early 20's I finally found a **VERY** good woman in my mid 30's. We've been married for 14 1/2 years now. She is awesome sauce. I say this as a compliment - she is SIMPLE. She says what she means, tells me how she feels, she's FAIR, and I have not one memory of her ever playing a head game with me.
That said - and I'm hope I don't come off as "whining" - but even today, at 53, that relationship I had with an feminist indoctrinated Wellesley grad has left a mark on me that I STILL struggle with. I hate that she lives in my mind rent free - but I try to take the positive from it, in that I learned a lot from it.
Tara, your videos are wonderful and maybe you don't hear it often enough - but more than once I have gone back to your library of "this is how these monsters think" to pick up another nugget of gold.
Oh, and on a side note - I just restarted a Skyrim campaign - I thought that might give you a chuckle.
It is so very gratifying when after 20 years you're told by a person who has heard nothing but lies about you, that they believe you. I.e. a man was told I physically attacked someone, though he believed the liar, something didn't add up. This irritation of something not being right finally made sense after hearing from me that it was exactly the other way around. It was me being physically attacked, and I defended myself by pushing the aggressor out of my appartement door, while she pulled my hair and in attempts to hit me knocked my glases off my face, then stepped on them and broke them. Outside of my appartment for at least 3 minutes she screamed, threatening and calling me all kinds of names. Despite two witnesses watching the whole ordeal she then falsly claimed she was attacked by me, which urged him to ring my bell, come into the house, angrily questioning why I beat up his girlfriend, totally dismissing the two witnesses still standing in the stairwell, who both looked puzzled about his accusation.
After we had this long talk, in which I was able to corrected many of the lies he was told, this man realizes he's been made to look like a fool on very many occations by this woman, that in many instances he was instrumentalized to do her dirty work, and that she was using and abusing him from day one of their relationship. I see this as a milestone in his life, he finally can let go of the guilt and shame that he was manipulated with and finally heal from two decades of horrible abuse.
Wow thnkful i found this gem of a page!!! New subbie!!! U are what my intuition has been tellin me!!! Thank yuuuuuuuu xoxo
OMFG!!!!!! YOU are fucking HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!! Why am I just now seeing you for the first time today?!!!! Straight and to the point PERIOD!!! 💯❤️ My new favorite narc educater FO-SHO! THANK YOU ❤️
I could tell by your story that you've been thru the ringer too with the narc toddler. It's like living with an toddler in a grown man's body
This is so helpful! I have to paused the video and make this comment! I have been anxious about 2month now. My neighbour is an immature adult who piled up garbage and smoking right outside of my unit door.(I live in flat/ apartment). When I nicely told him stop smoking outside, next day, he brought a friend smoking together in same place! Then I spoke for myself again, told him organise his garbage that occupied public area and smoking in other place. Then few days later, he spit on my door knob (during early coronavirus period in China)! It was almost Chinese new year, I just want to settle it up asap, (I called community management previously, they did not help much.) So I knocked on his door, nicely apologised to him for being too directly when I told him cut smoking outside of my unit. He was so happy just like Dr. Tara said, it was the sweet spot for him!! He nicely accepted what I said and did not show any apologetic for spitting on my door. And while I thought the thing will past, he start to put more garbage on the ale - I ignored. Then he pour yellowish liquid in front of my door - I called police, they did nothing on him. After I got a doorbell with camera, he saw it and behave normal for a month, but from last week, his relatives came over, he became more daring , and smoke right front of the surveillance camera, dump dust in front my door right front of camera, ear dropping when I video chat with friend, and just few hours ago, he loudly spit on the floor in front of my door again. I was so worried and anxious in this 2 month, and I have already told my mom to sell the house. I stay at home alone due to the virus, I can't deal with a person who is constantly try to trigger me and cause conflict without any reason!!!
Hi Simone,
Your neighbor sounds like a a$$hole. Unfortunately, with that type of personality, the more they know something bothers you the more they do it. I'm sorry that he's being such a &#^!%! literally on your doorstep.
@@shrink4men Thank you Dr.Tara and your reply, it really means a lot to me. I have watched many of your videos from yesterday that about Borderline Personality Disorder, it REALLY helped me and made things more clear, I feel much better after watching your videos. And I will continue ignore what he is doing. I've went to apartment management office today and told them what happened, and showed them some video clips as well. They will help me to look after my house after I left. Thank you again for your kind reply.
You are so accurate! They have friends but the friendships are childish
i just keep watching these over and over ..........
Nice presentation thank you very informative
Kids are annoying
Kids in adult bodies are unbearable
Kids in adult bodies with kids, the ultimate hell experience
Great content..
Narc-gasm! Hahaha! Love ya Doc! Another job well done. Who down votes these... rhetorical.
Thank you.
Dr. T,
I have been learning from for the past two years as I have a son whose mothet is BPD. I have leatn much amd don't know where i be without your insight. Wanted to say thanks and please keep it up. Its Gods work. TCL,
Brian
Thank you. That's kind of you to say. Glad to be of help.
Amazing that's what I always said about my siblings, monster babies in "adult" costumes, decades ago back when I never even heard the term "narcissist"
I wish psychologist would quit giving borderline the victim card to play. Is most of this trauma imagined? I'm starting to wonder. Why won't they tell you why???
I totally agree. Even if it's true, the world's tiniest violin plays from me (after enough apparently pre-calculated looking spontaneous obnoxious behavior from them)
10:00 Darn straight =/ I made the common mistake of being too "manly" to call the police on one occasion. Next thing I knew I was being served a restraining order for something I didn't do. Had I called them upon advice of a neighbor things might have taken a far different path...
It's far easier raising actual children - whom actually progress. These people never do and they'll drag you down to their level of desired mental functioning if you aren't careful - mental confusion, inability to make plans or remember details, reactive abuse, triggering you for show. You get used as a puppet. Once you realize it, you have a flood of anger and self-disappointment to work through.
My wife ( mentally disabled ) would have the narcissist neighbors asking her to buy McDonald's for them. Being that that is where she worked she obliged . They NEVER paid or reciprocated the act. They became furious when I found out and told them " no more ". Then we bought an rv that was nicer and bigger than theirs. We live full time in our rv as did they. When we brought it home they became very jealous. Wouldn't talk to us or even acknowledge our existence. They went to the extreme of gossiping about us to the point of where we were kicked out. They no longer had a use for us so we were dropped like a hot potato. Stay away from narcissistic, toxic leeches.
My sister. Thank you for everything
Greatest Hits- volume 2.
Thanks!
I'm sorry but this video is sooooooo unintentionally funny because of your delivery and title hahahahaha so thanks for the laugh!!!
Thanks Dr. T, You have no idea how these videos hit home for me.Timely advice.Drama Mamas...had my fill of them.May I suggest the oxygen mask & barf bag for your next flight. Keep up the good work....👍
You're welcome and thank you for the advice.
If I would have remembered that. I would not be coming off adrenal fatigue. Self examination.
Yep, the “adrenal fatigue “, it’s taken me 2 years to finally get through that and to become clear thinking again.
Poopy diaper face 🙌🏻😂😆!!!! Your descriptions 👌🏻!!!! Awesome video 🙏🏻
Thanks!
Your videos are great! A friend's BPD girlfriend broke up with him the day of his father's funeral!
Have to go doc
Will tell people about your channel...
Your a blessing
New subscriber just found you I see this is 4 years old but you are hilarious and 100% right on😂😂😂❤❤❤❤
Thank you for your informative talk.
Was married to a toxic narc, then, alas, attracted a barc toddler! An interesting change from the first. But I have raised my children, I don't need another overgrown baby. yuk!
Thank you , You are so great ,
He has so many facebook friends too... all the validation given and taken i cant believe how they all think hes so wonderful yet he treats me not nice and everyone else so differently
This is EXACTLY what I experienced in my marriage. It felt like I was dealing with a little girl a lot of the times in an adult body. I never knew what any of this was. I was baffled by it but I knew there was always something off. I was discarded after 10 years of marriage. Then I started studying and learned about BPD. It's all made sense ever since.
Once you see them as an extremely troubled child in the body of an adult the pieces begin to fall into place.
@@shrink4men After I studied more on Borderline Personality Disorder (as a layperson of course), that's kind of what happened. It was all maddeningly confusing at first. I went through a month of Hell trying to figure out what in the world was going on and why she was acting the way she did. The serial adultery, the shutting down and going ice cold, the faces she would make, all of it, drove me crazy until I learned more about this. Now that I know enough to be dangerous, I need to figure out why I stayed for as long as I did through multiple inappropriate and illicit interactions with other men much less why I chose to enjoin myself to her in the first place. And that's the rub. Thank you Dr. Tara for your videos. I'm gobbling them up today!
They definitely have. She did so many little things that always struck me like I was dealing with a little girl but it ran counter to the fact that she's my age. I think this is what made it all so confusing.
Glad I stumbled upon your channel. Im an adult son of a mother with NPD. And that woman screwed my head up 10 ways from Sunday. My solution to having relationships with women was to choose to NOT have any relationships with women. And not in a totally concious way either. Growing up with a single female NPD parent is like walking on eggshells and constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. To me, women have become the shoe. Even at 83 years old she has not slowed down in her ways. In passing I told her about the "Halo Effect" which she had never heard of before. It is now her favorite phrase. She thinks she can manipulate people (especially men) at will because of her "halo effect".
My mom loved to use the halo effect to get the flying monkeys to attack me. (As in ex-siblings)
Ignore the tantrums => trigger abandonment issues. There is no way out.
Nice video. And lovely house.
Left my 42-year-old "child" partner of 7 years, with many "friends" (6 years living together, I'm now 30 by the way) 6 days ago. Don't even know how I found the courage, never thought I would. I have, though. It's so tough and so painful, and just so crazy that I put up with so much of his drama (he's a fussy-depressed-angry- victim)...yet... I know I did the right thing. May you all find serenity
excellent
Father, brother, and spouse.
My ex passive aggressive covert narc. Instead of communicating almost any bit of information would disappear from our home on the weekends to drink, do cocaine and have sex with prostitutes. When I left him, exhausted and worn out, he said our relationship ended because of my relationship with his mother. 🤦🏼♀️ He said he never told me anything because of my “anger”. I was angry alright! What an absolute jerk-off.
Abuse me until they break me
Thanks for the heads up..