Circular Arguments, Emotional Reasoning and JADE (Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain)

by: Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD / www.shrink4men.com
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If you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist or other emotionally unstable, immature person, you’re probably well-acquainted with the hell that is a circular argument. What’s a circular argument? An argument that causes your brain to spin round in circles. Kidding aside, a circular argument is an argument in which the conclusion is used to support the premise. In this respect, it’s a backwards argument. In a rational argument, premises based on facts (not opinions and feelings) are used to support a conclusion. People who engage in circular arguments tend to do so out of ignorance or if they can’t logically defend their positions and behaviors to themselves or others.
Circular arguments are fueled by emotional reasoning (i.e., confusing feelings for facts) and perpetuated when the opposing party engages in JADE or justifying, arguing, defending and explaining. JADE is a concept that has its origins in Al-Anon literature. Justifying, arguing, defending and explaining oneself is a common mistake made by codependent, trauma bonded victims in an effort to avoid or end pointless conflicts and circular arguments with narcissistic and borderline personality disordered abusers. Of course, people who are neither codependent nor trauma bonded also justify, argue, defend and explain themselves during a conflict, but it’s different. Specifically, non-codependents will typically make their case and then leave it at that if it falls on deaf ears or if the other party becomes nasty and willfully irrational. Who’s crazier? The crazy person or the person who’s trying to win an argument with the crazy person?
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