I no longer allowed him to run the narrative. Called him on his shit. Could no longer be convinced that I'm delusional and his perception is the only one that matters. Basically made it clear that I wasn't mentaly manipulatable anymore. So he turned to violence. Forced me to agree with his narrative, though he always knew it didn't work, and when he'd say " but you don't really believe it" I'd say "no, I can't. I can't change what happened in my memory. You force me to agree with you" The endless abuse, hours and hours of circular arguments, pretending to fall asleep every time I said something he couldn't logically counter. Or word salads... Thar he betrayed his best closest friend he's ever had, and stole his new 21yo partner after only having just met them, and literally threw me out and replaced me with them... Ya, The desperation to get a new supply and discard me really showed. That was the nail in the coffin to proving he was 100% a narcissist. Having rapidly dissolved into every single narcissistic stereotype there was. He completely destroyed every bit of credibility he ever had.
It's when the "newness" is gone. The "honeymoon" is over. The "excitement" is fizzled out. And the narc doesn't know how to keep things exciting so they move to their next victim so they can start their little love bomb routine all over again. Very sad.
You couldn't be more right about that, especially "the narc doesn't know how to keep things exciting". He was cheating from year two in the whole seven. My ex is so dumb, so boring, so without charm, all his material possessions have people unaware he is a husk. Once I realised how empty he is, how little he believes he is evil I decided to walk. Yet, the hoovering had me wasting another two years on him. By then, he had nostalgia & reminiscence in his quiver & he shot me with it almost incessantly. It's so hard for an empath to stop caring. But we have to do it if we care about ourselves, our families & the rest of our lives. One:LOVE.
They are discarding themselves from a healthy life. The damage they "think" they do to others will be repaid multiple times over on them, if they don't repent, while the person who is living right will have a beautiful ending! ❤❤
I don't want pay back! I want them to Be Healthy Again Mind and Spirit. To me and My Thinking I'm no better than Them to Commend Bad. I Walk in the Light and Pray without ceasing. Anywhere I am Who knows what they have been through. Being Traumatized is No Laughing Matter. It's Very Major in My Book. There are Different Levels of course. My Lord pointed me here. I just make sure I show up. I need the Wisdom to learn how to Move on and Be ok with it. Lee Hammock popped up on My phone a few months back. I wasn't ready to Accept this about a Family member. I saw the signs. Here I am! Peace and Blessings to All. I'm headed towards 3 yrs Clean and Sober. Working My 12 Steps Daily. I almost went back out. By the Grace of My Higher Power Alot of Prayer I Didn't. 😊❤ Be Kind Be Humble BUT. Keep My Boundaries.
I think either because the person figured out that their partner is a narc or they broke you down so much that you are not able to be a good supply for them so they look for someone new because there is nothing to get from you anymore
There's ALWAYS someone on the side. Like the Sith lord always looking for a new apprentice, keeping their options open. My ex was heard on the phone complaining that his mistress cheated on him!!! Well he's married why shouldn't she? He's cheating on his wife but expects her to be faithful?
Yes this happened to me….. I didn’t even notice how slowly she was chipping away at me….. after a while I went from confident to a total mess on the floor… after that she left for someone with more resources..after a few years she didn’t need him any more she left him and found someone else…
I’m currently living in hell with my narcissist we’ve been married for 5 years screwing around for 7 years and we combined our children and we had a child together 5 years and as of this summer I finally snapped from watchingI your videos and others I realized it confronted him on his gaslighting and abuse and now he claims he filed papers on me after all I’ve done for him and his kids he isolated me from my family and told me that he used me for all these years what a jerk were still living together supposedly seperated but he still demands sex
In my personal opinion I feel like they'll discard you when you're on to their game and they no longer can manipulate you anymore you've been thru it soooo many times that you know their "tricks" that they pull so narcissistic ppl don't like that
@@MentalHealness quick question😅 if the person wasn’t raised right, was abused and doesn’t realize, have arrested development, failure to launch, things like that- are they still a Narcissist or is it something else? Please and thank you so much.
@@hershekissed Yes they still can be. Trauma doesn’t excuse someone from being a narcissist and is often a contributing factor. Many of the failure to launch ones is due to enabling parents that gave them a sense of entitlement. Look up the 9 characteristics of a narcissist.
Makes sense..I cut back on giving him money, intimacy, stopped talking to him as much and stopped asking him for anything and he was fast to start working on my replacement. Couldn't use me and I didn't need him.
The biggest mistake I made in the first throes was telling my ex-boyfriend that I wanted him but didn't need him. I see now, from that moment, he set out to make sure that he was needed. He railroaded me into moving into his flat, paying more than half of all his bills, only after he had coercively controlled me out of my trade (telling me he didn't want me working on-site with a load of blokes) into a menial low-paid admin position - I'm a qualified Painter & Decorator, in 1996 we female Decorators were a rarity. I loved going into a place & making it beautiful again. I rather loved the money I had earned too. For as long as I was in a low-paid job paying half his bills I wasn't independent & had no means with which to leave. In the finish I made him write me a cheque for my flat's deposit & month in advance. He cut up rough until I reminded him how much money he had had out of me for two years. It took me two years after that to get him out of my life completely. I never truly needed him, he brought me nothing but misery. Not wanting him gave me my freedom. If I could only forget his cruelty, I'd be a happier human being.
I have realized with toxic and narcisstic people. Peace seems boring....for those who were raised in chaos. Chaos is all the know, negativity, always fighting, to them is "normal" and unconditional love and understanding makes ZERO sense to them. At least that's how it was with my ex
Narcissist don't like that you can see them for what they are . If you let them know that I won't give you what they need your discarded. The discard can hurt but after you realize that you are much better off without the narc. Toxic people can't face who and what they are without leaving a path of destruction behind them.
And that’s when we finally win from the Narc. That’s when we are finally free from them. Being discarded from the narc is the best gift n the best thing that can happen. Thank you Jesus 🙏🏼♥️🙏🏼
My husband had cycles that would last for weeks or months his behaviour was rages, gaslighting, ignoring me, withdrawing emotionally and withdrawing affection. It came to a head January last year when I nearly died he couldn't cope and instead of reaching out to friends and family he left 9 weeks later. He is now divorcing me. The only explanation for this is him writing to me and saying "things change it's time to move on " that's all I get after 16 years of marriage!! I am not perfect but I did nothing to push him away. Thank you Lee for giving me a possible explanation for his behaviour. I am a firm believer in karma it will visit him for sure.
He has two from a previous marriage, I have three, thank goodness they are all grown adults. My middle son has been supportive. I don't know what he has told his( had a falling out with his daughter 7 years ago) son and I don't care it won't be the truth as he hasn't told his family the truth. I just need to heal and move on.
Life is SOOOOOOOOO much better when you are free of the Narc! Think of it as weeding your garden so only beautiful things can grow! This is actually a blessing for you ❤
My husband treated me badly but I stayed for the children and the images of what a family life looks like. Don’t do this. Your children are watching what you accept and trust what I’m telling you now that my children are adults ranging from 23-30 years old. THEY WERE UNHAPPY! I repented asking GOD for forgiveness of my SELFISHNESS. I was looking for love but they can’t love. I neglected my babies for a man but at that time I didn’t hear much about narcissists who are DEMONIC spirits! 30 years I invested in him. Now I’m planning an escape by getting all of my money etc in order. 🙏🏾 Pray your way out❤
It’s a paradox they go from looking at you as a savior until they don’t, because they have broken you down and don’t like the broken side of you so they drained you and treated you like a juice box but also the unconditional love is something cant keep fronting the mask starts falling off
Play stupid games... Win stupid prizes! I was watching another video by a psychologist who said some narcissist aren't smart and the one I'm dealing with has proven he's not. Mine lost control over me and the game and he hates it. 😂 I flipped the script on him and now I'm treating him exactly like he's always treated me, I take what I want from him and ghost him until I need more from him. And he'd love to discard me, I just haven't told him how much it's going to cost him yet! 😂
Facts!!! Just mind my business, if you wanna come back - I make them pay then IM THE ONE who dips out. Just transmute all emotions into profit. If the narc want attention, I’ll act too to get a bill paid. P.S. just know the kind of NARC u dealings with so you can be safe. I.e. he have no idea where I live. He lie so can I 😂
He would accuse me of thinking I was perfect. I never think anyone is perfect. Now I understand I was his “perfect image” at one time and he was projecting that on me.
They're setting up a straw man argument. "You're perfect", are an excuse to knock you down. They split you into perfect/bad as their transition thought in their dualistic view of you. I wonder if narcissists could see partners as people who are valuable because all people are valuable.
Other reasons are because they can't look down on you anymore, jealousy creeps in, or because you're expecting too much from them. I would think the first water from the hose would be warmer (not cooler) from lying in the sun. You have to run it awhile for it to get cold. Oh, this reminds me, correcting them or disagreeing with them can also cause a narcissistic injury, and narcissistic injury is also a big reason to discard.
Honestly my brain hurts just trying to stay in my own reality. I'm not as broken as they make me feel. And I'm not as good as I was before these 18 years of relationship. Didn't realize the whole time some ships are best left to sink .
I could count on every 6-8 weeks; he would start a non-existant, or exaggerated war just to have an excuse to emotionally and physically "check out" for weeks sometimes months. I remained faithful to him for 9 years of this sh/t; we were not even married. What a lesson learned. He's still contacting me, and showing up in places that I'm at. I feel I will never be able to break free.
What once was never was.... It's like crying over someone dying only to find out they never died cause they never existed. Only a mad person could mourn the loss of something that never existed. What you're attached to is your own delusions.... Because it really was never real, any of it. You are responsible for letting go.
Narcissists hate being told that they aren't right and then we get labeled non loyal and complete ghosting happens and now Im so grateful for the silence
@@MentalHealness You aren't sounding like a nasty narcissist, you keep speaking truth and educating us, I didn't know what a narc was until I got one , then I saw satan for sure
My ex just loves the line "I just dont want to fight anymore, I'm tired of fighting every day" ??? But will he spend time looking and offering solutions? Nope. Will he walk away from conversations? Yeah
I TOLD him to quit putting me on a pedistal. He said he wasn't. "Yes you ARE because I can FEEL it, and I'm gonna fall OFFA that thing!" 😢 I crashed HARD and felt nothing. 😂 Also, I think they trash you if they think you are not going to buy it. So they break up to save face. Like if they sense you may be too confident to believe their blows and be adequate supply, they bail.
Being someone myself who has their own flaws is why I stayed so long. I wanted to believe he could change his ways but none of this can be achieved without therapy I see.
In the simplest terms... the most reoccurring reason that you were ultimately discarded was because they found your replacement. They secured what they regarded as a better source of supply at the time.
You know I'm in that situation. I have been dating a true narcissist for 4 years and there comes a point when you will finally have had enough and when that happens you don't feel the need to keep on keeping on. At least that's where I'm at.
Exactly 5 days from coming back from our honeymoon, it was over. I can tell you the date & the hour when he thought he "had" me (since I signed that certificate) We were living together for almost 3yrs, couldn't have been more perfect then WHAM! Well here we are, 11 1/2yrs later & have a divorce hearing set 😂
You know……once you start to love yourself you don’t want them to “love” you anymore. Once you realize your own worth it’s more like you’re praying for them Not to come back. He was my husband by title but now that I’m better I now look at him and that life for what it truly was……I was a tool in his game of life and starving for the affection I naturally give out so easily. I made excuses for his behaviors……everyone knew him as my “Caveman” cause that’s what I called him. 15 years of “I’m not a f****** woman” and “I’m sorry I don’t have a p****”……..in all actuality he just didn’t have a heart but man was he good at faking it when I would start to notice until I was starting to wake up from the nightmare. That’s when the mask feel completely off and he flipped it on me. Took me 2.5 years after chasing him to realize “wait a minute…….what am I chasing him for……I CAN BE FREE!! Well…..as soon as he signs those divorce papers I gave him months ago.
You’re already free love. The marriage was a game too. From my experience.. it was a fake commitment. Therefore the divorce was final before it all started (on his part) it never truly existed. Ripped the marriage license and went about my business.
Mine told me hes elevated to a point where hes no longer attracted to me...yes, hes no longer attracted bc I dont let him manupulate me anymore. Elevate on that.
I started questioning him, speaking up and speaking my mind - telling him he is a narc & explaining to him what a Malignant narc is !! I also told him its hopeless, that he cant be fixed -!!!! I stopped letting him control me, but most of all I quit having sex with him 99%- i figured out that that had been my role, my only role for 9 years; thats the supply i gave him. Attention, desire and fulfilling his sex needs. ( Or as ged say, " youre not taking care of MY needs!" ) So I stopped completely. I laugh at him. I tell him what a pitiful fool he is; a joke. And Yeah, I Didcarded HIM!!
Keep in mind a "discard" is more of a putting you on the shelf for later. They'll look you up later when things aren't so good anymore where they went.
I'm not interested in just giving; I want to receive as well. And, I'll be giving less and less in the future, in general. I hope your wife recovers from her surgery well.
I dated a girl for 3+ years and tried to be there for her in every way I could. With multiple other mental health diagnoses there was also heavy drug use involved on her side along with her not having a job. I was discarded countless times just to have her come back days later with the classic “I’m so sorry I won’t let this ever happen again” and start the whole cycle again. Jan 1, 2024 I made the decision to finally free myself from the relationship and know that I can never let that back into my life. On to bigger and brighter days!
Omg he said that very reason to me!! He's told me a lot of times that I used to think he knew everything and now maybe I've gotten too strong and independent minded for him anymore. That all I want to do anymore is what i want to do and he can't tell me what to do anymore bc I'll go do what I want to anyway.....😮😊
A narcissist decided to leave me the day before I began classes. I went back to college after so many years, and he couldn't take that. It was clear- he wanted to control me; body, mind, and spirit. So, I gladly gave him what he claimed he needed- space! It's clear- he thought breaking up with me the day before would destroy me and thwart my educational plans. It didn't. I continued on as if he didn't exist- only to be stalked by him. Quite frankly, I got tired of being on his stinking pedestal; it is a very imbalanced place to be. I couldn't even move a toe. Fast forward- even after two decades, and my out-of-state relocation and subsequent marriage- he tries to get at me. When I tell you that man is a soulless demon- I mean it. 👿
Yes. You run low, can't give as much for whatever reason or either they get in a better position to get it for themselves or someone else that doesn't require as much.
@White liner I'm in the home, he left. Honestly, after seeing his eyes go black,I'm not interested in taking him back but I am praying for him. That shit was scary
@@ladyvirgo013My husband took off one afternoon after telling me he didn’t love me anymore after 17 years together. He refused to talk to me full stop. I was devastated and in shock. Our kids were a mess and just couldn’t understand why their dad was acting like this? Found out 2 weeks later he’d gone off with the secretary at work too. This was 7 years ago and he still won’t talk to me and his partner has nothing to do with our kids. He basically recreated a whole new life without them in it.
He discarded me because I kept saying no to him just blowing money away. He can’t spend enough to make him happy. The bills he creates are outrageous in 3 months with his new girlfriend he’s spent 20,000 dollars. I said no.
A couple years back I got involve with a man not know that he was still living with the his childrens mother(they together 15 years but not married) when i tell you I was lovebombed whew chileee then suddenly I was discarded. It shocked me so much it was unbelieveable he try to come back a couple months later like if nothing never happens because he wasn't mature enough / man enough to work out his issues at home so he used me as a tempoary supply #sadreality but I'm thankful i learnt my lesson and I'm free now! I'm not afraid to tell my story it might save someone. #beware ladies. Lee Keep bringing awareness ❤
Thank you this makes sense. If you turn on/cut off the emotional connection they know it’s time is up and they’re losing their control over you so it’s more work that may not pay off for the narcicisst.
once I figured out, I was dealing with a narcissist I just stopped reacting to his jokes, I stopped giving my opinion, I stopped reacting to anything he said or did. I put on my poker face on every time I encountered him. That was the best way for him to discard me-the best present ever-good riddance to rubbish
I figured him out! Called him an energy vampire! We went out to dinner I got really tired and asked him if he was stealing my energy! He looked at me and said Hello Rachel Iam Lucifer I'm going to cut your hair off while your sleeping! I was scared shitless but I kept my wits. Thank God we were in a restaurant. Yeah I'm good. I got home and safe. Hopefully he never comes back.
I knew what I was getting into in the first 3 months, but she was pregnant and I couldn't leave her, but more importantly, the child, alone. We were together for 5 years and I finally stopped giving her the "supply" she wanted and denied her love bombing because it was so few and far between that I was disgusted by it. When she stopped talking to me, I stopped talking to her. When she did something to try and net "supply" from me, I down-played it instead of stroking her ego. She is now in the HARD, CRUEL, HEARTLESS phase of discarding me (moved out) and the smear campaign is in FULL FORCE. I've blocked as many flying monkeys as I can find and am trying to find a new "normal" so I can start moving forward. Thanks for these videos man.
This is gut wrenching for me bc I have gone above and beyond. It was a bad day and I didn't press him on what was wrong why he was feeling down I just ignored it. He said I made him feel like I didn't care. Then he broke up with me and stop talking to me all together. This makes me feel like crap that I didn't try harder but it's a huge reality check for me and does help me understand what happened bc I been killing myself over why!
I have been with my narc for 18 years married17, I’m so messed up dealing with this man I don’t know who I am anymore I’ve become this toxic, mentally broken down shell of who I am, I don’t know who the problem is anymore. Coming off of a week long silent treatment for the millionth time and again it’s like nothing happened like he didn’t say the most disgusting hateful shit to me for no reason. It’s like ladida… bruh I’m going crazy. I just can’t get away
My possible narc boyfriend walked out on me after 14 years together last week. I’m doing great for the most part! So much sadness but so much relief! Get free from him and experience the joy of finding you again!
Me and my narc just came off a 7 week silent treatment “punishment” because I told him I needed affection. He did the same thing, acted like nothing happened after a pathetic wet noodle apology. We went to a therapy session and we’re good for a day and a half and now back to the silent treatment again because he didn’t get lunch on demand.
Holy shit, that is VERBATIM what he said to my face!!!!! "You don't match the picture of what I thought it was going to be with you and what I want for my life. It's nothing like what I imagined." Wtaf... This dude is so "textbook" that it's frightening me...especially with the particularly sinister, secretive, and insidious things he does because I "pissed him off" and/or to discipline me with punishment...shit gets heavy...
The supply flow trickles off or stops due to non reciprocation or unbalanced give and take of love, communication, emotion, attention, caring and sharing. There's no reason to stay where one is left feeling unimportant and unwanted, especially when everyone else and even strangers get more acknowledgement and attention from them than you do. Everyone wants to be and feel loved, wanted and special. I trust God has someone meant for me. I will keep believing it's the man I love, but if it's not him, I at least know God knows who is perfect for me and who I'm perfect for, and it will be a beautiful and perfect reciprocation on every level, so it's in his hands and plan.
I hope your wife heals from her surgery as quickly as possible and it sounded like your little girl had a cold. I hope she gets better soon as well, if that's the case. ❤
Lost everything when I figured it out after almost 10 years and kids not married he completely drained me.Emotionally and mentally and financially. Just started to pick myself up just hard to co parent as I’m reminded the new supply is living in my house as he would say. It hurt but I’m now better to deal with it all as I now don’t have anxiety when I do drop our kids off. 1 year self healing and single by choice not ready yet and I’m scared to get hurt again. Never been so alone in my life even though the last few years I was alone anyways
After the discard, The loyal one stays single, heals & grows The disloyal one moves on to the next relationship...real!!! 🌺to love someone means to want the best for them. They only love themselves. The best that can happen to anyone is that they EVOLLOVE Evolve. Rise in love💖
As I did not know he was a narc back then, I did not praise him.. He was always asking for validation and that felt strange to me LOL Now I see why I was dumped.. He had so much work with me😅 Still watching my stories though😐
I recently got out of a situationship with a narcissist. She has the coolest personality in a woman I have ever met but the unresolved trauma is strong in her. When the mask came off, she became unnecessarily confrontational and combative. Trying to pick fights over the pettiest things. That just told me that's what she is used to - toxic love. When you present someone with trauma with something good, it is unfamiliar to them and they will sabotage it. I truly believe she would have loved me more if I was the worst version myself.
Thank you Thank you Thank you! I lived this..And did not understand why I couldn't get the Narc back to where it all began in love. Man I totally understand now! Thank God I am 4 years out of it, and happily 2 years divorced from it all. I now KNOW that My discard was a blessing. Thank you for being so transparent.
My narcissist Talked all this love to me and then when I started to reciprocate he started talking about all the other women that he liked and this went on and on and on and back-and-forth until I finally realized up and left him then he called me up and I won’t even begin to tell you what he said it wasn’t nice
They want to make it perfectly clear that you are not special, so they chip away at you without directly insulting you. But one day you realize you ARE way to special to deal with such a creep! And they don't like it. Good 4 U!!
10:40 was the NPD in you talking. The eyes said it for 3 seconds 🫣😂😊 Good on you for checking yourself 👍👍 Nothing but respect for you coming this far!!
The Narc asked me a dumb ahh question one day. He asked me how many credit cards do I have and if I can afford to be in a relationship with him! 😂😂😂😂🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🙄
I've known that he is most definitely narcissistic on top of some other mental illness, but this time around his discard has been extra cruel! I went to talk to him yesterday and was in the depths of despair, crying my heart out, and proceeded to tell me I was faking and laugh at me! I'm devastated! He fooled me once again and it took a lot for me to let my guard down this time but I actually started to believe it was real and everything was going to work out!
EXACTLY! You are so, so, on point ! He said to me, sweetheart I’m going to have to let you go! I could not afford to take care of 2 people! Lol ! Thank you Lee for shedding light on the subject !
haha, in our last conversation when I told her I've had enough of repeating myself... she then said I don't look at her the same way... you literally just said that was one of the things and she said just that..."you don't look at me the same way, when you say you love me it sounds forced"... well maybe if you didn't make me keep repeating myself over the same actions you repeat then things would be different... I feel totally indifferent to her now... what a waste of my time with someone who never admits doing anything wrong even though their crazy and disrespectful actions are the primary and usually sole cause of our issues... thank christ I am wide eyed open and seen enough to know this person was not for me at all... what a scam
I just got out of a 5 year relationship with my fiancé. He cheated on me multiple times and I kept going back. My kids did not like him, but I still tried to make it work. He and I went “on and off” many times. He wanted me to move back in with him, but it was between my kids and him so I didn’t move back in with him. He couldn’t understand that. Anyway, this time he’s not reaching out to me like all the other times after we broke up. Do you think that is the final discard? I know it’s for the best and deep down I know I’m done. Like you said Lee, choose your hard, so I’m pushing through the pain and choosing the hard of not going back. Thank you Lee for all of your videos and great advice and also saying it like it is. Prayers for your wife’s speedy recovery.
I’ve had the same thing happen but it was 7 years on and off A constant cycle that I’ve now realised I’ve gotten used to. Now I realise it’s ended completely it weird because you’re so used to the hoovering you’re not sure as to why it hasn’t happened. Deep down you know you’re supposed to be greatful that it’s finished but because you’re so used to that toxic bond it feels strange and not at all the patterns that you’re used to. Stay strong 💪 I know it’s hard I’m getting stronger everyday And I know in another 6 months I’m going to be so thankful I’m free
Unfortunately, he will be back. The gaps will get longer and his schema will get stronger for a while but continue to persist for your freedom, your peace, your children's peace and focus on pouring all the love and energy you were giving him back into yourself and your children, you all need it. When he does come back just tell him you're all healing and need more time. He'll say everything he knows you wanted to hear and start doing the things you've always asked but the more you educate yourself on narcs the easier you'll spot the disconnects and see the unease he sends to you even while trying to love bomb you again. The gaps will get longer and he'll eventually let you be for the most part and only check in every few years afterwards. Just stand your ground and chose your children's and your own sanity, health and peace. Focus on healing and God will send the right one to you soon. No more damage. 💫🙏🏽❤️
It may not be the final discard but you can make it YOUR final. Love on them babies. They deserve the best version of you & should watch you be loved properly. Them watching you deal with him was probably a lot for them. Glad you chose your kids above all else! Keep striving.
Yeah the hobosexual got cut off and ran to his next victim. I realized that my helping was enabling him so he had to get his own place after detox, rehab, behavioral health stays and a half way house. I also demanded long term consistent change…..not at my house. Discarded/Frrreeeddddoommm
Your snalogy is nicer than mine. I compared it to being his toilet. When I get backed up or dirty he might do the bare minimum to get me working again to take his shit. But when i go grey rock, refuse to do his laundry and cleaning and won't argue, when the toilet is backed up not taking any More shit, out to the street it goes and he gets a new toilet!!
Because I found out about another affair; one was in his head and one sided so I let that one go, the second she saw sense and walked away before it was physical…but the third? Well that was two too many…i vale me more than that! It got worse when I realised she is the same age as our elder daughter, and he’s old enough to be her grandad.
My narcissist used something hypocritical to discard me. I couldn't remember a conversation that happened 6 months ago so he flipped out on me and broke up with me because I called him out on the way he treated me. I don't mean to be rude the reason why I said hypocritical because he sometimes can't remember yesterday.
Been telling him lately I will no longer let his anger intimidate me. Also, I compliment myself since he wont. He responds not to get my head get stuck in the door when I leave. Finally, I responded to his last abuse by public humiliation, so maybe he'll move on now.
Literally the lack of control definitely is doing it. He went crazy saying it took me a week to call him back after HE blocked and disrespected me. Then I got annoyed and said why do you act like this and he blocked me again.
I poured all I am into this woman & allowed her to use me while fully knowing it. I was & am deeply in love with her, the relationship, her daughter called me Daddy & I treated her as such proudly depleting myself trying with all my might to hold on to the person you just spoke of to a T, experiencing all you've described as my life elevated. I finally spoke abt me feeling used & she vanished, extracting her child from my life knowing she loved me sincerely & I her. I'm a month and a half shes complimenting her new guy on social media for excepting her child as his own when I early May I was Daddy per child's decision/perception for over 4 yrs..... I get it but I'm honestly crushed thinking sincere visceral love conquered all...
You were way too good for them, and they couldn't fool you anymore that they were at your level. You figured them out.
Plain AND SIMPLE!!!!
Absolutely !
That makes them so angry
Thats what it was I figured them out and she was in a corner it got so bad she told me to find someone else
My ex used to tell me, "I knew too much about them," figured/confronted my ex often.
I no longer allowed him to run the narrative. Called him on his shit. Could no longer be convinced that I'm delusional and his perception is the only one that matters.
Basically made it clear that I wasn't mentaly manipulatable anymore. So he turned to violence. Forced me to agree with his narrative, though he always knew it didn't work, and when he'd say " but you don't really believe it" I'd say "no, I can't. I can't change what happened in my memory. You force me to agree with you"
The endless abuse, hours and hours of circular arguments, pretending to fall asleep every time I said something he couldn't logically counter. Or word salads...
Thar he betrayed his best closest friend he's ever had, and stole his new 21yo partner after only having just met them, and literally threw me out and replaced me with them... Ya, The desperation to get a new supply and discard me really showed.
That was the nail in the coffin to proving he was 100% a narcissist. Having rapidly dissolved into every single narcissistic stereotype there was.
He completely destroyed every bit of credibility he ever had.
It's when the "newness" is gone. The "honeymoon" is over. The "excitement" is fizzled out. And the narc doesn't know how to keep things exciting so they move to their next victim so they can start their little love bomb routine all over again. Very sad.
You couldn't be more right about that, especially "the narc doesn't know how to keep things exciting". He was cheating from year two in the whole seven. My ex is so dumb, so boring, so without charm, all his material possessions have people unaware he is a husk. Once I realised how empty he is, how little he believes he is evil I decided to walk. Yet, the hoovering had me wasting another two years on him. By then, he had nostalgia & reminiscence in his quiver & he shot me with it almost incessantly. It's so hard for an empath to stop caring. But we have to do it if we care about ourselves, our families & the rest of our lives. One:LOVE.
How can they live with themselves?
Exactly and yes very sad!!
Yes, they are like locusts moving from harvest to harvest.
Their false version of us fails, for we are human.
The discard is a blessing in disguise f*** the narcissist 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
Sure is
huge blessing
@@winecrimesfoodandtime7119 Right I thought I couldn’t live without that clown 🤡 look at me living and thriving 👏🏽
@@FindYourFree I mean huge the distraction is gone and now you realize how much more better you feel without them lying 🤥 demons!
Did he try to come back?
They are discarding themselves from a healthy life. The damage they "think" they do to others will be repaid multiple times over on them, if they don't repent, while the person who is living right will have a beautiful ending! ❤❤
Yes! This
I really hope we get a beautiful life to repay for all that we went through
I certainly hope this is true!
🎯
I don't want pay back! I want them to Be Healthy Again Mind and Spirit. To me and My Thinking I'm no better than Them to Commend Bad. I Walk in the Light and Pray without ceasing. Anywhere I am Who knows what they have been through. Being Traumatized is No Laughing Matter. It's Very Major in My Book. There are Different Levels of course. My Lord pointed me here. I just make sure I show up. I need the Wisdom to learn how to Move on and Be ok with it. Lee Hammock popped up on My phone a few months back. I wasn't ready to Accept this about a Family member. I saw the signs. Here I am! Peace and Blessings to All. I'm headed towards 3 yrs Clean and Sober. Working My 12 Steps Daily. I almost went back out. By the Grace of My Higher Power Alot of Prayer I Didn't. 😊❤ Be Kind Be Humble BUT. Keep My Boundaries.
I think either because the person figured out that their partner is a narc or they broke you down so much that you are not able to be a good supply for them so they look for someone new because there is nothing to get from you anymore
FACTS
There's ALWAYS someone on the side. Like the Sith lord always looking for a new apprentice, keeping their options open. My ex was heard on the phone complaining that his mistress cheated on him!!! Well he's married why shouldn't she?
He's cheating on his wife but expects her to be faithful?
Yep
Exactly 💯💕
Yes this happened to me….. I didn’t even notice how slowly she was chipping away at me….. after a while I went from confident to a total mess on the floor… after that she left for someone with more resources..after a few years she didn’t need him any more she left him and found someone else…
Boundaries will always keep a toxic person from controlling you.
I’m currently living in hell with my narcissist we’ve been married for 5 years screwing around for 7 years and we combined our children and we had a child together 5 years and as of this summer I finally snapped from watchingI your videos and others I realized it confronted him on his gaslighting and abuse and now he claims he filed papers on me after all I’ve done for him and his kids he isolated me from my family and told me that he used me for all these years what a jerk were still living together supposedly seperated but he still demands sex
Facts!!!
In my personal opinion I feel like they'll discard you when you're on to their game and they no longer can manipulate you anymore you've been thru it soooo many times that you know their "tricks" that they pull so narcissistic ppl don't like that
This!!!! Yup you are exactly right
Yes having good boundaries keeps them from fully latching on.
This is happening to me right now!!!
absolutely, when i called out this was a pattern he flipped
I just wish it was easier to walk away…
Because they have a pathological cycle .... then they want to come back
😩
@@MentalHealness quick question😅 if the person wasn’t raised right, was abused and doesn’t realize, have arrested development, failure to launch, things like that- are they still a Narcissist or is it something else? Please and thank you so much.
@@hershekissed Yes they still can be. Trauma doesn’t excuse someone from being a narcissist and is often a contributing factor. Many of the failure to launch ones is due to enabling parents that gave them a sense of entitlement. Look up the 9 characteristics of a narcissist.
@@asterism.x you sound legit. He comes off as a narcissist, I was just wondering because he’s just like his mom.
@@asterism.x thanks for the reply. Peace and blessings🙏🏽
Makes sense..I cut back on giving him money, intimacy, stopped talking to him as much and stopped asking him for anything and he was fast to start working on my replacement. Couldn't use me and I didn't need him.
😂 NICE!!!
@Andrea Berryman It wasn't easy but I mean getting physically sick during the cheek clapping made it easy to not want to be touched 🤣
Yep
That part. Same
The biggest mistake I made in the first throes was telling my ex-boyfriend that I wanted him but didn't need him. I see now, from that moment, he set out to make sure that he was needed. He railroaded me into moving into his flat, paying more than half of all his bills, only after he had coercively controlled me out of my trade (telling me he didn't want me working on-site with a load of blokes) into a menial low-paid admin position - I'm a qualified Painter & Decorator, in 1996 we female Decorators were a rarity. I loved going into a place & making it beautiful again. I rather loved the money I had earned too. For as long as I was in a low-paid job paying half his bills I wasn't independent & had no means with which to leave. In the finish I made him write me a cheque for my flat's deposit & month in advance. He cut up rough until I reminded him how much money he had had out of me for two years. It took me two years after that to get him out of my life completely. I never truly needed him, he brought me nothing but misery. Not wanting him gave me my freedom. If I could only forget his cruelty, I'd be a happier human being.
I have realized with toxic and narcisstic people. Peace seems boring....for those who were raised in chaos. Chaos is all the know, negativity, always fighting, to them is "normal" and unconditional love and understanding makes ZERO sense to them. At least that's how it was with my ex
Family members discard you as well when they can’t use you for money ,a place to stay , food , gifts or to pay their bills .
💯
All I had to say was no. That was the end. I was trying to save his father’s money.
💯
Paid his bills for 20 yrs....the day I lost my job he dicarded me and said he had no choice.
Buy Lee I don't view him in the same light either. So I plugged the supply. Known on boundaries.
Narcissist don't like that you can see them for what they are . If you let them know that I won't give you what they need your discarded. The discard can hurt but after you realize that you are much better off without the narc. Toxic people can't face who and what they are without leaving a path of destruction behind them.
And that’s when we finally win from the Narc. That’s when we are finally free from them. Being discarded from the narc is the best gift n the best thing that can happen. Thank you Jesus 🙏🏼♥️🙏🏼
You are swapping one illusion for another!
AMEN ‼️
It is truly a blessing in disguise 🙏
AMEN 🙏🏾
It truly is. Freedom! I’m so grateful
My husband had cycles that would last for weeks or months his behaviour was rages, gaslighting, ignoring me, withdrawing emotionally and withdrawing affection. It came to a head January last year when I nearly died he couldn't cope and instead of reaching out to friends and family he left 9 weeks later. He is now divorcing me. The only explanation for this is him writing to me and saying "things change it's time to move on " that's all I get after 16 years of marriage!! I am not perfect but I did nothing to push him away. Thank you Lee for giving me a possible explanation for his behaviour. I am a firm believer in karma it will visit him for sure.
What do you do about kids?
He has two from a previous marriage, I have three, thank goodness they are all grown adults. My middle son has been supportive. I don't know what he has told his( had a falling out with his daughter 7 years ago) son and I don't care it won't be the truth as he hasn't told his family the truth. I just need to heal and move on.
Life is SOOOOOOOOO much better when you are free of the Narc! Think of it as weeding your garden so only beautiful things can grow! This is actually a blessing for you ❤
I am so sorry... The Divine and God's got your back. Wishing you healing. 🙏🏾 Karma never forgets an address😉
My husband treated me badly but I stayed for the children and the images of what a family life looks like. Don’t do this. Your children are watching what you accept and trust what I’m telling you now that my children are adults ranging from 23-30 years old. THEY WERE UNHAPPY! I repented asking GOD for forgiveness of my SELFISHNESS. I was looking for love but they can’t love. I neglected my babies for a man but at that time I didn’t hear much about narcissists who are DEMONIC spirits!
30 years I invested in him. Now I’m planning an escape by getting all of my money etc in order. 🙏🏾
Pray your way out❤
It’s a paradox they go from looking at you as a savior until they don’t, because they have broken you down and don’t like the broken side of you so they drained you and treated you like a juice box but also the unconditional love is something cant keep fronting the mask starts falling off
Play stupid games... Win stupid prizes!
I was watching another video by a psychologist who said some narcissist aren't smart and the one I'm dealing with has proven he's not. Mine lost control over me and the game and he hates it. 😂
I flipped the script on him and now I'm treating him exactly like he's always treated me, I take what I want from him and ghost him until I need more from him. And he'd love to discard me, I just haven't told him how much it's going to cost him yet! 😂
Facts!!! Just mind my business, if you wanna come back - I make them pay then IM THE ONE who dips out. Just transmute all emotions into profit. If the narc want attention, I’ll act too to get a bill paid.
P.S. just know the kind of NARC u dealings with so you can be safe. I.e. he have no idea where I live. He lie so can I 😂
He would accuse me of thinking I was perfect. I never think anyone is perfect. Now I understand I was his “perfect image” at one time and he was projecting that on me.
He always told me I wanted to be on top and everything had to be about me what a clown 🤡 it was really the other way around!
Yes 🙌 when they see you as awesome your awesome 👍 when they see you as expendable the discard.😢 😅 🎉
They're setting up a straw man argument. "You're perfect", are an excuse to knock you down. They split you into perfect/bad as their transition thought in their dualistic view of you. I wonder if narcissists could see partners as people who are valuable because all people are valuable.
I had to hear your not perfect, never said I was.
I heard the same.
Other reasons are because they can't look down on you anymore, jealousy creeps in, or because you're expecting too much from them. I would think the first water from the hose would be warmer (not cooler) from lying in the sun. You have to run it awhile for it to get cold. Oh, this reminds me, correcting them or disagreeing with them can also cause a narcissistic injury, and narcissistic injury is also a big reason to discard.
Honestly my brain hurts just trying to stay in my own reality. I'm not as broken as they make me feel. And I'm not as good as I was before these 18 years of relationship. Didn't realize the whole time some ships are best left to sink .
Exactly! I was discarded because I did not agree with his political views and the COVID vax.
@@iramsavir5631 I got called stupid hick for not immediately getting COVID vax lock down would have been hell had he not been an essential worker
"My empathy is being tested" 🤣🤣 he cracks me up. 😆❤
SAME HERE!!!🤣🤣
Cause you see through their lies / bullshit
Yes, emotional disconnect it will definitely happen. No way around that.
I could count on every 6-8 weeks; he would start a non-existant, or exaggerated war just to have an excuse to emotionally and physically "check out" for weeks sometimes months. I remained faithful to him for 9 years of this sh/t; we were not even married. What a lesson learned. He's still contacting me, and showing up in places that I'm at. I feel I will never be able to break free.
Yup. Just like every 6 to 8 weeks of no contact thry will try to hoover you back in. So sad how pathetic these people are.
That's stalking...ew...😢 Please go get a protection order-notify authorities. It does not sound like you want them around.
Mine was every THREE weeks for a week.
@@andreaberryman5354 no I don't, not anymore. He disgusts me
@@shilohbreigh3591 they go by a book 🤡
It will never be what it once was. It's one of the first things you mourn while still in the relationship.
Yes the morning is hard 😞😩 potential is not really. ..if it should have or could have it would have.
What once was never was.... It's like crying over someone dying only to find out they never died cause they never existed. Only a mad person could mourn the loss of something that never existed. What you're attached to is your own delusions.... Because it really was never real, any of it. You are responsible for letting go.
One of the hardest things to let go
Narcissists hate being told that they aren't right and then we get labeled non loyal and complete ghosting happens and now Im so grateful for the silence
💯‼️
@@MentalHealness You aren't sounding like a nasty narcissist, you keep speaking truth and educating us, I didn't know what a narc was until I got one , then I saw satan for sure
My ex just loves the line "I just dont want to fight anymore, I'm tired of fighting every day"
???
But will he spend time looking and offering solutions? Nope.
Will he walk away from conversations? Yeah
So who was the narc in your relationship? 🤔
Same here
Mine too.
Same!!! 😩🫠
I TOLD him to quit putting me on a pedistal. He said he wasn't. "Yes you ARE because I can FEEL it, and I'm gonna fall OFFA that thing!" 😢 I crashed HARD and felt nothing. 😂 Also, I think they trash you if they think you are not going to buy it. So they break up to save face. Like if they sense you may be too confident to believe their blows and be adequate supply, they bail.
Being someone myself who has their own flaws is why I stayed so long. I wanted to believe he could change his ways but none of this can be achieved without therapy I see.
🙏🏽💯
They are so incredibly insecure that they know they can never measure up to a normal person
🙏🏽💯
In the simplest terms... the most reoccurring reason that you were ultimately discarded was because they found your replacement. They secured what they regarded as a better source of supply at the time.
When you realize that discard happened decades ago... 😢
Right? It's so confusing if they're still around after discard.
I think the supply doesn’t give them that new “in love” feeling which makes them happy and feel great about themselves…
You know I'm in that situation. I have been dating a true narcissist for 4 years and there comes a point when you will finally have had enough and when that happens you don't feel the need to keep on keeping on. At least that's where I'm at.
Exactly 5 days from coming back from our honeymoon, it was over. I can tell you the date & the hour when he thought he "had" me (since I signed that certificate) We were living together for almost 3yrs, couldn't have been more perfect then WHAM! Well here we are, 11 1/2yrs later & have a divorce hearing set 😂
You know……once you start to love yourself you don’t want them to “love” you anymore. Once you realize your own worth it’s more like you’re praying for them Not to come back. He was my husband by title but now that I’m better I now look at him and that life for what it truly was……I was a tool in his game of life and starving for the affection I naturally give out so easily. I made excuses for his behaviors……everyone knew him as my “Caveman” cause that’s what I called him. 15 years of “I’m not a f****** woman” and “I’m sorry I don’t have a p****”……..in all actuality he just didn’t have a heart but man was he good at faking it when I would start to notice until I was starting to wake up from the nightmare. That’s when the mask feel completely off and he flipped it on me. Took me 2.5 years after chasing him to realize “wait a minute…….what am I chasing him for……I CAN BE FREE!! Well…..as soon as he signs those divorce papers I gave him months ago.
Good for you!!
You’re already free love. The marriage was a game too. From my experience.. it was a fake commitment. Therefore the divorce was final before it all started (on his part) it never truly existed. Ripped the marriage license and went about my business.
Everyone called my ex caveman
As soon as He knew that the Gig was up..He had to Move on...He couldn't control Me Anymore so he needed to get a New supply.
Mine told me hes elevated to a point where hes no longer attracted to me...yes, hes no longer attracted bc I dont let him manupulate me anymore. Elevate on that.
I started questioning him, speaking up and speaking my mind - telling him he is a narc & explaining to him what a Malignant narc is !! I also told him its hopeless, that he cant be fixed -!!!!
I stopped letting him control me, but most of all
I quit having sex with him 99%- i figured out that that had been my role, my only role for 9 years; thats the supply i gave him.
Attention, desire and fulfilling his sex needs. ( Or as ged say, " youre not taking care of MY needs!" )
So I stopped completely.
I laugh at him.
I tell him what a pitiful fool he is; a joke.
And
Yeah,
I Didcarded HIM!!
@@suzanne4396 I went 100% celibate and was brutally discarded 5 months later. 9 years served.
Keep in mind a "discard" is more of a putting you on the shelf for later. They'll look you up later when things aren't so good anymore where they went.
I'm not interested in just giving; I want to receive as well. And, I'll be giving less and less in the future, in general. I hope your wife recovers from her surgery well.
I dated a girl for 3+ years and tried to be there for her in every way I could. With multiple other mental health diagnoses there was also heavy drug use involved on her side along with her not having a job. I was discarded countless times just to have her come back days later with the classic “I’m so sorry I won’t let this ever happen again” and start the whole cycle again. Jan 1, 2024 I made the decision to finally free myself from the relationship and know that I can never let that back into my life. On to bigger and brighter days!
Omg he said that very reason to me!! He's told me a lot of times that I used to think he knew everything and now maybe I've gotten too strong and independent minded for him anymore. That all I want to do anymore is what i want to do and he can't tell me what to do anymore bc I'll go do what I want to anyway.....😮😊
🙌🏾🙌🏾
Really helpful. Good to be reminded that we didn't do something wrong and that the discard is somewhat inevitable and not personal.
A narcissist decided to leave me the day before I began classes. I went back to college after so many years, and he couldn't take that. It was clear- he wanted to control me; body, mind, and spirit. So, I gladly gave him what he claimed he needed- space! It's clear- he thought breaking up with me the day before would destroy me and thwart my educational plans.
It didn't. I continued on as if he didn't exist- only to be stalked by him.
Quite frankly, I got tired of being on his stinking pedestal; it is a very imbalanced place to be. I couldn't even move a toe.
Fast forward- even after two decades, and my out-of-state relocation and subsequent marriage- he tries to get at me. When I tell you that man is a soulless demon- I mean it. 👿
Yup, I got asked when am I going to be the person they first met. Not, I'm awake now.
Heavy on the control…they just move on…losing control means…giving accountability…
I caught on to his games, and I became too much work.
🙌🏾
@@suzannemaroney4579 thattttt part
I'm sincerly glad he did but, it took a while to see the light of day and heal....
Same for me
Yes. You run low, can't give as much for whatever reason or either they get in a better position to get it for themselves or someone else that doesn't require as much.
I got devalued and discarded all within 2 months he left for the secretary at his work 4 weeks ago. He blindsided me🤷♀️
12 years married
Damn‼️ stand strong 💪🏾 don’t go back…
@White liner I'm in the home, he left. Honestly, after seeing his eyes go black,I'm not interested in taking him back but I am praying for him. That shit was scary
Be forever grateful it was only 2 months. Most get trapped for YEARS!
@@Merbella we've been married 12 years
@@ladyvirgo013My husband took off one afternoon after telling me he didn’t love me anymore after 17 years together. He refused to talk to me full stop. I was devastated and in shock. Our kids were a mess and just couldn’t understand why their dad was acting like this? Found out 2 weeks later he’d gone off with the secretary at work too. This was 7 years ago and he still won’t talk to me and his partner has nothing to do with our kids. He basically recreated a whole new life without them in it.
He discarded me because I kept saying no to him just blowing money away. He can’t spend enough to make him happy. The bills he creates are outrageous in 3 months with his new girlfriend he’s spent 20,000 dollars. I said no.
they hate the word "no"
A couple years back I got involve with a man not know that he was still living with the his childrens mother(they together 15 years but not married) when i tell you I was lovebombed whew chileee then suddenly I was discarded. It shocked me so much it was unbelieveable he try to come back a couple months later like if nothing never happens because he wasn't mature enough / man enough to work out his issues at home so he used me as a tempoary supply #sadreality but I'm thankful i learnt my lesson and I'm free now!
I'm not afraid to tell my story it might save someone.
#beware ladies.
Lee Keep bringing awareness ❤
Thank you this makes sense. If you turn on/cut off the emotional connection they know it’s time is up and they’re losing their control over you so it’s more work that may not pay off for the narcicisst.
Omg I’m so glad we all can relate to this issue!! I thought I was crazy 😮
Me too
once I figured out, I was dealing with a narcissist I just stopped reacting to his jokes, I stopped giving my opinion, I stopped reacting to anything he said or did. I put on my poker face on every time I encountered him. That was the best way for him to discard me-the best present ever-good riddance to rubbish
I look back now, i realized how broken my ex were. Every time we get into an argument, he is always on the phone with someone.
That and or breaking something etc
I figured him out! Called him an energy vampire! We went out to dinner I got really tired and asked him if he was stealing my energy! He looked at me and said Hello Rachel Iam Lucifer I'm going to cut your hair off while your sleeping! I was scared shitless but I kept my wits. Thank God we were in a restaurant. Yeah I'm good. I got home and safe. Hopefully he never comes back.
I had BOUNDARIES😂😂😂
I knew what I was getting into in the first 3 months, but she was pregnant and I couldn't leave her, but more importantly, the child, alone. We were together for 5 years and I finally stopped giving her the "supply" she wanted and denied her love bombing because it was so few and far between that I was disgusted by it. When she stopped talking to me, I stopped talking to her. When she did something to try and net "supply" from me, I down-played it instead of stroking her ego. She is now in the HARD, CRUEL, HEARTLESS phase of discarding me (moved out) and the smear campaign is in FULL FORCE. I've blocked as many flying monkeys as I can find and am trying to find a new "normal" so I can start moving forward. Thanks for these videos man.
Once they feel like they have the "hook in" the fun is over and they are instantly bored.
This is gut wrenching for me bc I have gone above and beyond. It was a bad day and I didn't press him on what was wrong why he was feeling down I just ignored it. He said I made him feel like I didn't care. Then he broke up with me and stop talking to me all together. This makes me feel like crap that I didn't try harder but it's a huge reality check for me and does help me understand what happened bc I been killing myself over why!
I have been with my narc for 18 years married17, I’m so messed up dealing with this man I don’t know who I am anymore
I’ve become this toxic, mentally broken down shell of who I am, I don’t know who the problem is anymore.
Coming off of a week long silent treatment for the millionth time and again it’s like nothing happened like he didn’t say the most disgusting hateful shit to me for no reason.
It’s like ladida… bruh I’m going crazy. I just can’t get away
My possible narc boyfriend walked out on me after 14 years together last week. I’m doing great for the most part! So much sadness but so much relief! Get free from him and experience the joy of finding you again!
Please leave if you can. If you can’t leave yet don’t let him into your head. Plan an escape. Stay healthy
Me and my narc just came off a 7 week silent treatment “punishment” because I told him I needed affection. He did the same thing, acted like nothing happened after a pathetic wet noodle apology. We went to a therapy session and we’re good for a day and a half and now back to the silent treatment again because he didn’t get lunch on demand.
Leave and go No Contact.
I went to a battered woman's shelter I went no contact. They helped me, and I was safe.
Holy shit, that is VERBATIM what he said to my face!!!!!
"You don't match the picture of what I thought it was going to be with you and what I want for my life. It's nothing like what I imagined."
Wtaf...
This dude is so "textbook" that it's frightening me...especially with the particularly sinister, secretive, and insidious things he does because I "pissed him off" and/or to discipline me with punishment...shit gets heavy...
True story. My ex told me I was "used up".
That's cold. Hopefully you've stayed away from him and anyone like him. Wishing you continued healing. 🙏❤
A narc will try and discard you if they think you're about to discard them. Or if they think they've damaged you too much.
Honesty can save so much non sense!
The supply flow trickles off or stops due to non reciprocation or unbalanced give and take of love, communication, emotion, attention, caring and sharing.
There's no reason to stay where one is left feeling unimportant and unwanted, especially when everyone else and even strangers get more acknowledgement and attention from them than you do.
Everyone wants to be and feel loved, wanted and special. I trust God has someone meant for me. I will keep believing it's the man I love, but if it's not him, I at least know God knows who is perfect for me and who I'm perfect for, and it will be a beautiful and perfect reciprocation on every level, so it's in his hands and plan.
You are swapping one illusion for another.
@@irielion3748 ,
I disagree, but even if it were an illusion, it's way better than believing in this world's messed up way of things.
We went from clapping cheeks to a full fledged 💧 until the final discard gladly healing now
I hope your wife heals from her surgery as quickly as possible and it sounded like your little girl had a cold. I hope she gets better soon as well, if that's the case. ❤
Learning this WHY is a “How to get discarded and be freed from the narcissist?” for me.
Lost everything when I figured it out after almost 10 years and kids not married he completely drained me.Emotionally and mentally and financially. Just started to pick myself up just hard to co parent as I’m reminded the new supply is living in my house as he would say. It hurt but I’m now better to deal with it all as I now don’t have anxiety when I do drop our kids off. 1 year self healing and single by choice not ready yet and I’m scared to get hurt again. Never been so alone in my life even though the last few years I was alone anyways
After the discard,
The loyal one stays single, heals & grows
The disloyal one moves on to the next
relationship...real!!!
🌺to love someone
means to want the best for them. They only love themselves.
The best that can happen to anyone is that they EVOLLOVE
Evolve. Rise in love💖
Exactly the same situation here. We only have God to see us through this nightmare.
As I did not know he was a narc back then, I did not praise him.. He was always asking for validation and that felt strange to me LOL
Now I see why I was dumped.. He had so much work with me😅 Still watching my stories though😐
I am really sarcastic, I never called him my master and owner or never accepted he was my provider, that made me the worst wife.😂
I recently got out of a situationship with a narcissist. She has the coolest personality in a woman I have ever met but the unresolved trauma is strong in her. When the mask came off, she became unnecessarily confrontational and combative. Trying to pick fights over the pettiest things. That just told me that's what she is used to - toxic love. When you present someone with trauma with something good, it is unfamiliar to them and they will sabotage it.
I truly believe she would have loved me more if I was the worst version myself.
Thank you Thank you Thank you! I lived this..And did not understand why I couldn't get the Narc back to where it all began in love. Man I totally understand now! Thank God I am 4 years out of it, and happily 2 years divorced from it all. I now KNOW that My discard was a blessing. Thank you for being so transparent.
I am pushing for mine, I am questioning his leadership and being able to provide like the macho alpha he thinks he is
You really are my favorite self aware narcissist. I had learned alot and been validated so much!
♥️
You've been on point, and I really appreciate you, and I hope your wife heals quickly. Love and appreciation
Yes, we are discarded to receive to love. God is love.
❤❤❤❤❤
😂😂.. "my empathy is being tested"
That first water out the hose is hot den a mug. You must not been really drinkin’ like we were! 😂😂❤
I don’t miss dating people like this. It was truly exhausting
My narcissist Talked all this love to me and then when I started to reciprocate he started talking about all the other women that he liked and this went on and on and on and back-and-forth until I finally realized up and left him then he called me up and I won’t even begin to tell you what he said it wasn’t nice
They want to make it perfectly clear that you are not special, so they chip away at you without directly insulting you. But one day you realize you ARE way to special to deal with such a creep! And they don't like it. Good 4 U!!
I have been told about his ex girlfriend and the sex life they had.
@@Godoftruth1221 No doubt about it they’re evil we don’t need people like this in our lives I never thought I’d ever run face-to-face with Satan
10:40 was the NPD in you talking. The eyes said it for 3 seconds 🫣😂😊
Good on you for checking yourself 👍👍
Nothing but respect for you coming this far!!
In experience their flow stopped when I called them out for who they were. When I had their number they “don’t want a relationship anymore”…
Exactly what my ex dudcthen tried to flip the script and say it was all me
The Narc asked me a dumb ahh question one day. He asked me how many credit cards do I have and if I can afford to be in a relationship with him! 😂😂😂😂🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🙄
I've known that he is most definitely narcissistic on top of some other mental illness, but this time around his discard has been extra cruel! I went to talk to him yesterday and was in the depths of despair, crying my heart out, and proceeded to tell me I was faking and laugh at me! I'm devastated! He fooled me once again and it took a lot for me to let my guard down this time but I actually started to believe it was real and everything was going to work out!
EXACTLY! You are so, so, on point ! He said to me, sweetheart I’m going to have to let you go! I could not afford to take care of 2 people! Lol ! Thank you Lee for shedding light on the subject !
haha, in our last conversation when I told her I've had enough of repeating myself... she then said I don't look at her the same way... you literally just said that was one of the things and she said just that..."you don't look at me the same way, when you say you love me it sounds forced"... well maybe if you didn't make me keep repeating myself over the same actions you repeat then things would be different... I feel totally indifferent to her now... what a waste of my time with someone who never admits doing anything wrong even though their crazy and disrespectful actions are the primary and usually sole cause of our issues... thank christ I am wide eyed open and seen enough to know this person was not for me at all... what a scam
I just got out of a 5 year relationship with my fiancé. He cheated on me multiple times and I kept going back. My kids did not like him, but I still tried to make it work. He and I went “on and off” many times. He wanted me to move back in with him, but it was between my kids and him so I didn’t move back in with him. He couldn’t understand that. Anyway, this time he’s not reaching out to me like all the other times after we broke up. Do you think that is the final discard? I know it’s for the best and deep down I know I’m done. Like you said Lee, choose your hard, so I’m pushing through the pain and choosing the hard of not going back.
Thank you Lee for all of your videos and great advice and also saying it like it is. Prayers for your wife’s speedy recovery.
Guard your heart..for everything you do flows through it ❤🙏
I say never go back
I’ve had the same thing happen but it was 7 years on and off
A constant cycle that I’ve now realised I’ve gotten used to.
Now I realise it’s ended completely it weird because you’re so used to the hoovering you’re not sure as to why it hasn’t happened. Deep down you know you’re supposed to be greatful that it’s finished but because you’re so used to that toxic bond it feels strange and not at all the patterns that you’re used to.
Stay strong 💪 I know it’s hard
I’m getting stronger everyday
And I know in another 6 months I’m going to be so thankful I’m free
Unfortunately, he will be back. The gaps will get longer and his schema will get stronger for a while but continue to persist for your freedom, your peace, your children's peace and focus on pouring all the love and energy you were giving him back into yourself and your children, you all need it. When he does come back just tell him you're all healing and need more time. He'll say everything he knows you wanted to hear and start doing the things you've always asked but the more you educate yourself on narcs the easier you'll spot the disconnects and see the unease he sends to you even while trying to love bomb you again. The gaps will get longer and he'll eventually let you be for the most part and only check in every few years afterwards. Just stand your ground and chose your children's and your own sanity, health and peace. Focus on healing and God will send the right one to you soon. No more damage. 💫🙏🏽❤️
Girl… if you go back… he will have 0 respect ‼️ for you… Never go back‼️ stand strong 💪🏾
It may not be the final discard but you can make it YOUR final. Love on them babies. They deserve the best version of you & should watch you be loved properly. Them watching you deal with him was probably a lot for them. Glad you chose your kids above all else! Keep striving.
Yeah the hobosexual got cut off and ran to his next victim. I realized that my helping was enabling him so he had to get his own place after detox, rehab, behavioral health stays and a half way house. I also demanded long term consistent change…..not at my house. Discarded/Frrreeeddddoommm
😂😂😂😂 hobosexual
Your snalogy is nicer than mine. I compared it to being his toilet. When I get backed up or dirty he might do the bare minimum to get me working again to take his shit.
But when i go grey rock, refuse to do his laundry and cleaning and won't argue, when the toilet is backed up not taking any More shit, out to the street it goes and he gets a new toilet!!
Because I found out about another affair; one was in his head and one sided so I let that one go, the second she saw sense and walked away before it was physical…but the third? Well that was two too many…i vale me more than that! It got worse when I realised she is the same age as our elder daughter, and he’s old enough to be her grandad.
My narcissist used something hypocritical to discard me. I couldn't remember a conversation that happened 6 months ago so he flipped out on me and broke up with me because I called him out on the way he treated me. I don't mean to be rude the reason why I said hypocritical because he sometimes can't remember yesterday.
Been telling him lately I will no longer let his anger intimidate me. Also, I compliment myself since he wont. He responds not to get my head get stuck in the door when I leave. Finally, I responded to his last abuse by public humiliation, so maybe he'll move on now.
Wow. You caused a narcissistic mortification!
Literally the lack of control definitely is doing it. He went crazy saying it took me a week to call him back after HE blocked and disrespected me. Then I got annoyed and said why do you act like this and he blocked me again.
💯💯
I poured all I am into this woman & allowed her to use me while fully knowing it. I was & am deeply in love with her, the relationship, her daughter called me Daddy & I treated her as such proudly depleting myself trying with all my might to hold on to the person you just spoke of to a T, experiencing all you've described as my life elevated. I finally spoke abt me feeling used & she vanished, extracting her child from my life knowing she loved me sincerely & I her. I'm a month and a half shes complimenting her new guy on social media for excepting her child as his own when I early May I was Daddy per child's decision/perception for over 4 yrs..... I get it but I'm honestly crushed thinking sincere visceral love conquered all...
🫂
She must be very pretty.
I feel she's the best thing God created outside of air, I loved her inside out
Mine always said that everything is boring for him