Why I divorced my wife.
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 28 сен 2024
- Though divorce is extremely challenging there are several things that can be way less challenging. One of those is taking memes and performing them as a monologue. These are not original jokes. If you know the source of any of these jokes beyond the meme, please let me know so I can properly credit the writer. Dead Dad by @nicknemeroff2124 #dadjokes
![Cody Johnson - I'm Gonna Love You (with Carrie Underwood) [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/yy9PuYMU29g/mqdefault.jpg)
I called my son and said, "Listen, your mother and I are getting a divorce. Forty-five years of misery is enough!" My son said, "Dad, what are you talking about? Have you lost your mind?"
I said, “We can't stand the sight of each other any longer. I'm sick of her face, and I'm sick of talking about this! Call your sister and tell her." Then I hung up the phone.
Shocked and worried, my son called and told his sister. She said, "Like hell they are!" She called me and said, "You are not getting divorced! Don't do another thing. The two of us are flying home tomorrow to talk about this. Until then, do not call a lawyer or file any papers. DO YOU HEAR ME!?", and hung up the phone.
I turned to my wife and said, "Honey, they’re both coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own airfare!"
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 omg
WOW😂😂😂😂😂
😂😅🤣
😅😅😅
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 nice one
I see a dad jokes professional here
He looks like he is about to cry. Amazing delivery
I KNOW.. that totally sold me
Man I thought he was serious at first 😂
The first line went over my head at first; probably because we had a neighbor named Ray who died.
But I got it on July; why'd you lie.😂😂
I didn’t get it until the “10 is too many” punchline
Same
For the those who don’t understand:
1. He thought the wife said hooray.
2. He thought his wife said Why you lie?
3. He thought the doctor called his dad, ”dead".
4. He thought tomorrow she was gonna drink ten.
Thank you for number three. I've watched and watched and couldn't figure out that one. 🤣😂🤣🖖💕
My manager likes to start a meeting with corny dad jokes. Everybody laughs. I don't get them. Someone always has to explain to me. So thank you.
no worrys guys
Thank you
Thank you. I now understand what the trouble was. The only one i understand was the last one about 10.
Husband: Our neighbor died
Wife: Who Ray (husband hears: "hurray"
Husband: Not appropriate cheer at that moment.
Husband: When I told her my favorite month was coming up.
Wife: Why July (husband hears: "why you lie)
Husband: I didn't
Husband: When my dad passed away. He was at the hospital. I couldn't make it before his death. And when I got there
she told me that the doctor said that my dad was pronounced dead. (Husband's understanding that the word DAD was mispronounced as DEAD)
Husband: There's no way I've been mispronouncing it (from DAD to DEAD) in my entire life.
But she kept defending the doctor.
That's the joke which cracks my head how to analyze it. 🤯🤯
That make sense awesome... I can't understand, now I know. Thanks
This was so helpful😁... by the way, such an underrated comment
Genius!
I appreciate
Τhank you i finally understood 😂😮
this is why you listen when ppl talk to you
I had to watch this 3 times to get what was happening.
Me too!
You are not alone😂😂😂😂
Nah bro
Same
1. "Hooray?"
2. "Why'd you lie"
3. He thought she was telling him how to pronounce it
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really loved him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Dude, I had to watch a second time to actually grasp the humor. You're a genius.
Yes, he is. His looks and voice are perfect to deliver these straight.
It took your comment for me to realize. I was like, " What did she do, that so horrible?" Because I didn't see it.😅
Bro took misunderstanding to a whole nother level💀
he even cried 😂
It can really be like that too with some people
You’re a GENIUS, man. A freakin’ genius….. and with a straight face. AMAZING
Right!!😅
Still don’t get the daddy joke lol!!!😂😂😢
Not gonna lie. You almost had me. 😂😂😂
Why July!?? 😂
Jeez dude. I listened to this 5 times to make sense of the last thing, then realized this guy has the most gutwrenching style of joke telling ever. Legendary 😂
Sheesh... It took a rewind and several pauses for me to get all three of them. Well done.
👍😂Yeppers ya got me! I didn’t realize this was a joke. 😆🤣😂
😂😂😂😂😂. When we got to “Why July” I got it 😂😂😂😂
I dont get it, can u explain?
@@whitemanbaydlag1871cuz july
@@Average_human_being. thank you above average human being
@@Average_human_being.Why did he lie about what?
Same here; then I had to go back and listen to the first line.
😂 the fact it took me a few times, then I checked the comments then listened again and then finally got it 🤣🤣
Dear God, first time I watched it I practically cried through the whole thing with this guy. I couldn't believe a woman could be so cruel so I played it again😂😂
Well needed jokes about divorce that I needed 😂
I didn't get it until the last one, then I had to listen all over again. Nice
😂
.... ain't gonna lie....I had to watch it 6/7 times to catch it all. Brilliant!
Still didn't catch it. Care to explain please 🙏
@@Meskwe when their neighbor died, she said, “who, Ray?” (Hooray!).
His favorite month was coming up and she asked, “why July?” (Why’d you lie).
When he went to the hospital when his dad was sick, she told him he had died (pronounced dead), but he thought she was correcting the way he pronounced ‘dad’.
He asked her out to a drink when they first dated and she said, “Sure 10(pm/am) tomorrow” (10 drinks tomorrow)
Pls somebody explain how did u all know dat this is a joke ??? I watched it multiple times still din get the joke. Sorry dumb of me by someone pls explain
@@emiledae thanks for the explanation 😊
Really funny & with a straight face. I had to listen twice. 😮❤
Damn bro you dodged a bullet 😂
I had to hear it twice to get it. Too good 👏👏
Me 2
Okay I just subscribed!! You're humor is priceless!!! I can't 😂😅😂
Except it's stolen...🙄
She’s right. But the delivery is mine.
This gives Kevin Ball vibes 😂
I can’t believe so many in the comments didn’t realize this was a joke from the very start. 😆
10 drinks? That's should had been a red flag 😂😂
Chil' I was so concerned I prayed for you then listened the 2nd Time and screamed so loud my throat hurt!
Hello how are you doing today ?
Fifteen minutes passed before I realized that he was joking.
You're my kind of guy! I want someone just like you😊
Who? Ray? > Hooray
Why July? Why'd u lie?
Pronounced dead (dead sounds like dad)
How about 10:00? How about 10?
She is a lucky woman😂
This is the bloke you dread to sit next too in a quiet bar.
Did not get this until the very last line. Well done!!
If he thought he was funny.He wasn't.
Yes sir 👏 🙌
Self deprecating humor is the BEST!
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂boy your crazy a$& has me going for a minute. I was obviously not paying attention
I needed to hear this twice to actually understand the punds 🙃
Pounds is a face cream
*You took the right Decision. Don't regret ever. You are one of the best human beings in the world. Some prople in this world are extremely extremely selfish that they don't give a damn to anything. They dont bother for anyone. And most importantly, they dont deserve you. You are gem of a person. You are precious.* 🎉
It's a joke fool
This is a joke.
It just a joke 😄
God tier dad jokes
I’m sorry for your loss
Ya got me! Thanks for the silly laugh! I really needed it!
He be trolling us like😂
You wasted my time being nosey. I'm perfectly fine with that 😂😂😂😂
I was so confused for a minute.
You did her a favor. 😂😂😂
I needed this.
Man! You got me laughing on the train. 😂😂😂
I didn't realize it was a joke until the end LOL
The dad jokes are surely strong in here. I have to listen twice to understand 😂😂
This took me way too long to figure out it’s a joke
You are a GENIUS!!🎉 👍 Great Comedy Satire at its Finest spot 👌 👏 on!! I was looking to be Angry but you made me Laugh, THANK YOU I NEEDED IT!! 🙏
The serious face 😂
The play on words !!!!😅😂
the joke become clearer when you dont look at the subtitle
Didn't laugh once, realized it was satire after the first line, however, I did see the most important message. Always get the last laugh. Thanks for making my day man.👍
It took me a long second to figure it out but I haven't stopped chucking since. Lmao
For a second I didn’t think it was fake and then I was about to comment "those are not valid reasons…"
The "who ray" joke went straight over my head😂
dad was pronouced Dead 😂😂😂
That last one is on you man
Dad is pronounced dead... lmaoooooooo been saying wrong forever 😂😂😂
He actually told 4 reasons
Thanks for this chuckle! I needed it just now...
I thought those were the bad reasons to divorce her. Then I'm like... oh.
I kinda hate myself for how hard I'm laughing at this.
ITS OK TO LAUGH AT IT ITS A SKIT ‼️‼️
i love your sense of humour omg😭😭
Did anyone notice the weird colored nail polish on this dude?
Well, that’s THE reason his wife had divorced him…
ROFL!! I loved this!! Totally fooled me.
Very clever play on words & maintaining unhappy demeanor!!
The number of individuals who did not grasp the humour is quite surprising. It is beneficial to be attentive.
I’m over here expecting an insightful video and I was so confused😂😂😂😂
That first one got me. 😂
You are SICK 😅😂😅😂
I love your sense of humor… ❤️
I was about to say that those were pretty dumb reasons to get a divorce, but I got the jokes at the end haha
First listen I was like “how tf did I get here and do people keep trauma dumping on the internet?” 😭
Can you teach my fiance the art of dad jokes before we have children? Or does the talent come naturally upon conception….
The dad joke was GREAT. Subbed
Damn. Ray was up about 60 bucks.
Coincidence man.
Now I get it lol I did not know what I was hearing the first time. Second time I caught all of the jokes. That was a good one lol
Took me to listen 4 times before i got this.....😂😂😂😂😂
Sorry for ur loss🙃we will pray for ur and ur familie's well being🙏
I sooooooo needed this laugh!!!
“That’s way too many!” 😡
I feel like this is how guys actually listen and take things when you say it
I'm afraid I am going to add these to my dadabase...
Tank top checks out 😂
‘Why arent you understanding me?’
‘Why would I stand under you, do you think you’re above me? That I’m beneath you like dirt?’
EXPERTJOEL Caught my spouse... 💔
Lol . I divorced my husband because he didn’t like cats . He said it’s him or the cat ? Only one can stay in the house so I chose the cat.
Ohh my dayys !!😂😂😂 I didn't get it the first time. But when he said he asked her out for drinks and she said how about 10 tomorrow. Thats way too many. Yeah it hit me .The groan i let out🥴 funny
He is holding his tears i think
Husband told me he wanted a divorce today needed this laugh!
Dad is dead old jokes, write your own
She should have known better😂
damn. halfway through before i caught on 😂
Pretty funny. It’s funny how the men are commenting on their divorce experience not realizing it’s a joke
Hes actually become jarring 💀 i cant w him anymore
That's hilarious! 😂😂 Good one!