Before You Argue - WATCH THIS | by Jay Shetty

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  • Опубликовано: 12 мар 2018
  • Don't let something that takes 10 seconds to say ruin the next 10 days..
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Комментарии • 567

  • @NFX
    @NFX 6 лет назад +247

    "We're actually angry about something very specific but we express it about something totally different."

  • @merlihsekisiel7804
    @merlihsekisiel7804 5 лет назад +685

    Words can be forgiven but can never be forgotten

  • @phantom0121
    @phantom0121 6 лет назад +334

    You're the man Jay !!!
    Don't let something that takes 10 seconds to say ruin the next 10 days, 10 months or 10 years of your life ...
    Real talk 🔑💯

    • @ndiruel-khir2908
      @ndiruel-khir2908 5 лет назад +2

    • @madelinegonzalez4970
      @madelinegonzalez4970 5 лет назад +2

      ❤❤❤❤❤ needed this today 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

    • @madelinegonzalez4970
      @madelinegonzalez4970 5 лет назад +2

      Thank you ❤❤❤❤❤❤

    • @BLue-333
      @BLue-333 5 лет назад +2

      @@madelinegonzalez4970 same💔

    • @jazzyj5794
      @jazzyj5794 4 года назад

      Having a prob with that now...3days and I still can't talk..for fear of saying something spiteful.

  • @rickygonzales252
    @rickygonzales252 6 лет назад +104

    This speaks about people caring for each other.

  • @nastasiafitness__
    @nastasiafitness__ 6 лет назад +25

    Remember if you really want to be with each other saying hurtful things is never going to help you the next day or the next month. You're still going to remember these words.

  • @brownie6792
    @brownie6792 5 лет назад +40

    I'm not sure where this man came from this is like free therapy for me. I see how i behave on screen. Thank you sir👼

  • @tinahuttner7280
    @tinahuttner7280 5 лет назад +151

    In a nut shell dont sweat the small stuff things can be alot worse.

  • @Joyce-wh6rd
    @Joyce-wh6rd 4 года назад +29

    When God is in the middle, peace joy and real 💕 love will be forever, what you say is very nice words but real wisdom comes from God.God bless you jay,keep the good work 👍

  • @PushedToInsanity
    @PushedToInsanity 6 лет назад +194

    Really glad I found your channel. You are one of the most inspirational people i've seen / like to watch. Keep it up!

  • @shonniebeenatural
    @shonniebeenatural 4 года назад +4

    Very true and that was not just good advice for husband and wife but for other relationships as well ....thank you

  • @mm-ng8fs
    @mm-ng8fs 3 года назад

    True!! Harsh words cut through the 💓 and stay there forever...never to be forgotten!
    Itz easier to forgive though!

  • @jillwylie3
    @jillwylie3 3 года назад

    Yes Definitely Cruel Words and Insults are never forgotten.

  • @anushal652
    @anushal652 6 лет назад

    I don't know how to express the gratitude for your valuable advice's. After my mom I feel u r the one who I hear to the most.

  • @MakeMeScientific
    @MakeMeScientific 6 лет назад

    Thanks very helpful. True person who explains from the bottom of his heart.

  • @evera
    @evera 6 лет назад +27

    Words can be forgiven but not necessarily forgotten is so relatable. Even if you don't want to be reminded of it again, it just pops out of nowhere.

    • @alemxewar1825
      @alemxewar1825 5 лет назад +3

      True words sticks forever in the head scars can easily

    • @resmivijai1941
      @resmivijai1941 4 года назад +1

      Wound that it caused may bleed even after years

  • @dawnstonerock884
    @dawnstonerock884 4 года назад +37

    A guy I was seeing got so angry for me being 15 min late. I let him know hours before. We almost hit two people( in truck) due to his anger. I'm done. Won't risk my life because he has major anger issues.

    • @Tcarhartt
      @Tcarhartt 4 года назад +1

      I understand. Had a boyfriend that got angry in the car not sure what it was about but it happened a long time ago. He started driving faster which he also knew that aggressive drivers have always scared me probably due to a past life thing I don't know. Asked him to pull over let me out over and over again yet still he wouldn't let me out. To make a long story short he ended up with a black eye. Not going to let someone take my life in their hands just by driving like an ass because he was upset. I am truly thankful nothing more than that happen. If I was driving I would have pulled over :-)

    • @msjulicious
      @msjulicious 2 года назад

      you dodged a bullet

  • @CA2SD
    @CA2SD 5 лет назад

    ...we express our anger, but we don’t explain it. 💯 truth! 🙌🏻 Words I’ve been looking for my entire life.

  • @ATrueLoveOfficial
    @ATrueLoveOfficial 6 лет назад +3

    *We're actually angry about something very specific but we express it about something totally different.* This is me sometimes. And as the person who mostly starts the argument, I love this video so much. Everything you said was certainly on point.

  • @autumnspring6624
    @autumnspring6624 5 лет назад +71

    Okay I get this. Don't sweat the small stuff. BUT what about if it's a million of them and you're bombarded by it?!! What if it's a million small things that has been addressed and you let 500,000 of them roll off your back, but not ONE of the small things has changed when you asked? For example you tell a loved one something bothers you and you tell them multiple times about it and they completely ignore you.

    • @rosesolorio81
      @rosesolorio81 5 лет назад +19

      Yeah it becomes beyond frustrating when you are expressing yourself and ask for certain things yet your spouse continues on with whatever they are doing it makes you resent them after a while

    • @joebloggs619
      @joebloggs619 5 лет назад +12

      If you have to keep telling them but they ignore your reasonable request and carry on as usual, they are disrespecting you and you need to get very assertive with them, concerning the most serious small things they take no notice of. Just issue a few ultimatums along the lines of: This is the first and last time I am asking you to...... If you choose to disrespect my wishes, I will respond by..... So, the choice is yours. Continue as you are doing and..... Or respect my wishes and we can continue. I would not raise the subject ever again but go directly into action mode, as soon as they do the offending thing. I would carry out my threat and really mean it. Even if it meant ending the relationship because what use is a relationship if you are continually disrespected, ignored etc. It is a form of emotional abuse snd men cop this the most from women, though some men also do it to women themselves eg when asked to not leave talc footprints all over the bathroom floor or wet towels not hung up to dry etc. Toilet seat up doesn'bug me because, as a woman, I don't sweat the trivial stuff like toilet seat up. But it does bug many women so if you are hooked up with such a nit picker type you love for her other good qualities eg neatness, then just pull the bloody seat down, even if you think her request is idiotic, which it probably is. G or the sake of peace. I had one stupid disagreement early in marriage, concerning rinsing a coffee spoon immediately after using it. So insane. I saw no need but it was obviously important to him. But he did one thing that bugged me. Dirty sink hole and scum ring in sink after washing dishes. I agreed to rinse coffee spoon immediately if he left nice hygienic clean sink, which he saw no point in doing. So, the spoon never got rinsed by me and was banned from using the sink. Problem solved. Spoon and dishes hot washed at MY convenience, to my schedule, not his, because I require a hygienic clean sink and don't sweat the small stuff eg unwashed recently used, nearly clean coffee spoon. These domestic issues are negotiable, albeit pretty Tedious and annoying, especially if you are not into trivial details and can think on a much larger canvas of life, see the bigger, total picture.

    • @kristenness6034
      @kristenness6034 5 лет назад +6

      Pick the ones you can let go of and ask for change on the ones you can't. You fell in love for a reason so focus a lot on that too.
      I, for example, hate when people leave the timer on the microwave instead of putting it back on clock when they take out their food. But that doesnt bug my hubby (or the general population). I also hate when a person cleans the dishes but leaves the rest of the kitchen dirty. So I let go of the microwave thing because it's not a big deal, but my husband and I have sat down and talked/negotiated the kitchen clean up.
      Let go of the ones you can. They dont matter as much as your relationship.

    • @LaDimplez91
      @LaDimplez91 4 года назад +7

      Omg this is me with my husband... and I let go of so much but the fact that he almost never makes me feel special is what triggers me to sweat the small stuff.. I hate feeling disrespected

    • @ellenherman9543
      @ellenherman9543 4 года назад +3

      Its the constant little shit every day because the person thats suppose to care the most doesnt.

  • @arienpreema1
    @arienpreema1 6 лет назад +41

    Great video Jay!❤ Thank you!

  • @augustwu8340
    @augustwu8340 4 года назад

    So true. Sometimes anger that unhold will ended up you said those words that could break your relationship for so long. Its not worth it!

  • @CharleyDC5R
    @CharleyDC5R 5 лет назад

    So powerful. Thanks Jay! You rock.

  • @tyspeaks6104
    @tyspeaks6104 6 лет назад

    I’ve had some serious issues with this , especially being in the relationship I’m in now. I sometimes find myself subconsciously trying to find something to be mad about with my gf. But I’m reality she never does anything to upset me. I think we all have this misconception relationships need to have conflict. But in reality all it really needs is love , respect , empathy , and communication. Thanks for the message Jay 😌🙏🏽

  • @dallasyap3064
    @dallasyap3064 4 года назад +2

    Very true I should send this to my dad. He has such problems.

  • @AshishPadaruth
    @AshishPadaruth 6 лет назад +2

    Thank you Jay for those inspiring messages. You rock man

  • @pauloduor
    @pauloduor 5 лет назад

    Am totally changed through your speeches,you really contribute to the rise of my consciousness.... Thanks a lot Jay!!

  • @Butterfly-ud4qi
    @Butterfly-ud4qi 5 лет назад

    You are so right Jay..may God bless you and you're life be full of happiness..I needed to hear this today..i love you're videos .thank you for this video ...

  • @eridazarka3202
    @eridazarka3202 6 лет назад

    That is the best advice i never hear ever! Thanks Jay we Need to hear motivated persons like you! Can be helpful for all the cupples in Crises!

  • @oceanofknowledge6270
    @oceanofknowledge6270 5 лет назад +6

    Words can be forgiven not forgotten 👍👍👍👍👍👍💓💕
    Just perfect!!!👏

  • @zaynabkhodabux3666
    @zaynabkhodabux3666 6 лет назад +7

    You are so realistic and down to earth man jay

  • @1AmSwapnil
    @1AmSwapnil 5 лет назад +2

    Excellent Jay excellent! Well said

  • @someone-ou3ht
    @someone-ou3ht 6 лет назад

    best advice possible, we express our anger and expect the other to understand but it keeps worse

  • @E.X.P.E.R.I.M.E.N.T.A.L
    @E.X.P.E.R.I.M.E.N.T.A.L 4 года назад

    Very true. Did that, I know how painful it is. A good lesson to carry to the end of time.

  • @virginiadimayuga5073
    @virginiadimayuga5073 5 лет назад

    Wow-such a powerful video with excellent advice to seriously consider -thank you, Jay!

  • @veronicamontoya454
    @veronicamontoya454 6 лет назад +31

    Videos like this to many seems simple and easy enough to understand but very few follow it, putting it in action is the “trick”.

    • @jaysonhurst9371
      @jaysonhurst9371 6 лет назад +1

      Veronica Montoya first step is knowing and being at the right spot on your path to accept it into your life. words are seldom forgotten, so watching does help more than not

    • @kritikapoor4290
      @kritikapoor4290 6 лет назад

      Yes true

  • @MaxivanJoy
    @MaxivanJoy 5 лет назад +7

    another great video you share with us.thank you,jay🙏❤🙏
    first of all you have to train yourself to recognize quick that you are in a negative mode and to switch to positive energy. people are wasting a lot of energy staying in a negative mode.

    • @aav_n
      @aav_n 5 лет назад

      How can we train ourselves to recognize wrong patterns and SWITCH? I am researching and learning, I know it is possible... I call on love and light...

  • @nmcclarence
    @nmcclarence 5 лет назад +1

    So very true, wish I watched this before hand.

  • @srijachakraborty6378
    @srijachakraborty6378 6 лет назад +2

    Wow Jay thanks man. Ur videos r awesome. So relevant. So helpful

  • @aav_n
    @aav_n 5 лет назад +1

    This was Amazing! Thank You Jay!

  • @user-wt3ie5sc8y
    @user-wt3ie5sc8y 5 лет назад +4

    Yes it is life many people only argument very small thing is not help the build good relationship

  • @aavory1000
    @aavory1000 4 года назад +2

    Yes jay!!! I love this

  • @abutaslimahasan9136
    @abutaslimahasan9136 5 лет назад

    Beautiful message

  • @thesid2062
    @thesid2062 6 лет назад +156

    The main point is that if something gets wrong CALL JAY

    • @ericathekidd520
      @ericathekidd520 5 лет назад

      Lol a lawyer

    • @afreenhameed4284
      @afreenhameed4284 4 года назад

      Hahaha exactly

    • @0822angela
      @0822angela 4 года назад +1

      I need his number immediately!! 😂

    • @ahhwe-any7434
      @ahhwe-any7434 4 года назад +2

      I have no clue at all why this is in my feed. I guess the FBI guy hears me arguing w/ my panda or something.

    • @0822angela
      @0822angela 4 года назад

      Ahhw E-Any Thats hysterical!!

  • @AMarie-zq4db
    @AMarie-zq4db 6 лет назад

    Im so excited to have found this youtube channel! Its so nice to have such intresting and positive advice

  • @dwightk.schrute5291
    @dwightk.schrute5291 6 лет назад +10

    background music is TRUMAN SLEEPS from THE TRUMAN SHOW.

  • @Franzie2105
    @Franzie2105 4 года назад

    The ego is a killer. I understand many things now. Thank you for this video

  • @whitedove4902
    @whitedove4902 4 года назад

    Thanks Jay, you're right .👍⚘

  • @shiqsmercy9402
    @shiqsmercy9402 6 лет назад

    Sometimes not saying something is the best way to ultimately find a solution.

  • @vinising
    @vinising 6 лет назад +1

    The most useful video on how not to spoil a relationship. The best thing about your videos are they are short and yet so powerful that they convey the message thoroughly. Thanks again Jay.. Lots of love from India

  • @sonamchondol8903
    @sonamchondol8903 5 лет назад

    Thank you for sharing such a inspiring words ...I m trying my best...

  • @owendawarton5430
    @owendawarton5430 5 лет назад

    I wish I had come across this before pushing him away, and I know that this comment is depressing but we fought and he ended it.... I started the argument, but I will always be greatful for knowing what real love is because of him, thank you so much. I have been binge watching your videos practically half the day now, thank you

  • @rakshagowda3367
    @rakshagowda3367 6 лет назад +1

    😁 this is the best way to make me understand. Thank you so much @jayshetty. I love you😍

  • @usptact
    @usptact 5 лет назад

    People will forget what you said but they will never forget how you made them feel.

  • @Nezuko2310
    @Nezuko2310 4 года назад +1

    I love watching you jay! You the best!

  • @lifeinuk9551
    @lifeinuk9551 5 лет назад

    Im thai people. I lucky to find your channel make me have to learn more about my relationship. My relationship 4years with english guy we finished relationship many time in 4years. I like so much how to do channel

  • @shukria1247
    @shukria1247 5 лет назад

    Thank you so much your channel changed my life every bad thing to good and I’m very glad :)

  • @poojashah8123
    @poojashah8123 6 лет назад

    You are just amazing , changing my life , apparently you are virtual guide and teacher.

  • @wonderwomen6493
    @wonderwomen6493 4 года назад

    Great advice.

  • @thememorytraveler4978
    @thememorytraveler4978 5 лет назад

    Brilliant simplicity

  • @yogeshsindhi6568
    @yogeshsindhi6568 6 лет назад

    There were many questions in my mind about our relationship but after watching your videos I got an answer to all my questions. Thanks

  • @dishnaranasinghe4280
    @dishnaranasinghe4280 5 лет назад +1

    Been there, done that! Wish Jay's videos came out 15 years back 🙂

  • @learnerdecuriousqueen3320
    @learnerdecuriousqueen3320 5 лет назад

    The message is great. That boy is a great actor.

  • @sirene5936
    @sirene5936 5 лет назад +49

    watching this just after having a very bad argument! 😖😖😖
    My Dad was right, when he said " Don't argue, because you can win the argument...but loose the person!"

    • @BiiMesiah
      @BiiMesiah 5 лет назад +4

      Everything will be just fine. God bless you xx.

    • @lp691
      @lp691 4 года назад

      Same here

  • @cornwall8029
    @cornwall8029 5 лет назад

    Thanks it helped me
    It was a powerful message to all couples who are going through the same thing

  • @vasanthkumar2979
    @vasanthkumar2979 6 лет назад +1

    Dear Jay,
    Am big fan of you. Thanks brother for your inspiration. Vasant here from India.

  • @MikinessAnalog
    @MikinessAnalog 4 года назад

    People can forget what you've done in the past. They can even forget what you may have said, but it is quite difficult to forget how someone made you feel.

  • @jalnaidu3088
    @jalnaidu3088 5 лет назад +2

    Perfectly said Mr. Shetty ,

  • @amritakanda3034
    @amritakanda3034 5 лет назад

    Absolutely true nice words n eventually it happens n personal space is the best solution..

  • @patriciadavenport230
    @patriciadavenport230 4 года назад

    Excellent advice 👍🏻👍🏻💜🤗👵🏼

  • @trailblazeramanyadav5873
    @trailblazeramanyadav5873 6 лет назад

    Hello jay shetty.. i was start listening you form last few weeks and what i realise that i have to learn some more things that i actually already know.. Thanks for these videos.. your talk can affect any life.

  • @underthestarsoverthemoon4259
    @underthestarsoverthemoon4259 4 года назад +5

    This is so true.
    My boyfriend and I argue about the dumbest things and I hold a grudge for a while, could be five minutes or could be a whole day or a couple days.
    He doesn’t deserve it. I try to explain things but I start bringing out things that were in the past and I say things I don’t mean. I bring out a big plate of shit when that stuff isn’t even what ticked me off in the first place.
    It’s always my own troubles that frustrate me and the fact that my boyfriend doesn’t understand some(like depression or anxiety) is frustrating. He’s there for me more than I am for him though.
    I need some major fixing to do with myself.

  • @Quranmp3_
    @Quranmp3_ 4 года назад

    I needed this today
    Thank you Jay!

  • @donhendy493
    @donhendy493 4 года назад

    Always make sure , you say how much you truly do love your soul mate , during trivial , silly arguments ♥️

  • @kaushbeauty5235
    @kaushbeauty5235 6 лет назад +11

    This is so true " be careful about your words"

    • @RukayyaZirapur
      @RukayyaZirapur 6 лет назад

      Kaushalya Gunasekara check this ruclips.net/video/EFTKEHd3o0k/видео.html

    • @jnm.624
      @jnm.624 5 лет назад

      Heard it a million times, but not quite like this .... thank you, you're right.

  • @fiortineo3388
    @fiortineo3388 4 года назад

    I love love love this channel his words his so right about everything !!!

  • @kylelumz2823
    @kylelumz2823 6 лет назад

    Right words right video at the right moment. Thnx for the lovely video Jay keep up the good wrk. God blessd u abundntly on this special day. Happy easther sunday

  • @millicentevans9232
    @millicentevans9232 5 лет назад

    Its so easy to argue for petty things. Words are just wind but words do hurt so its best not to argue. And just talk to each other easy say hard at times to put in practice. Jay you rock ❤😊

  • @psychopomp888
    @psychopomp888 5 лет назад +2

    Yes. Just sent this to my other half cause he is always pressing for a answer when he see's me upset but I am just trying here to keep from saying something I will reget

  • @conscienceboostup7813
    @conscienceboostup7813 4 года назад

    Being well-motivated !!!

  • @munirakhan8533
    @munirakhan8533 6 лет назад +2

    Thanks for such a good content.... I am soo glad to watch ur videos... Always wait for them.. God bless u... Lots of love 💝😍😘

  • @vimalajesus1249
    @vimalajesus1249 6 лет назад

    I love you Jay shetty.. Your way of words seriously changes me lot in many ways.. Thanks for all your efforts and videos

  • @oyeraj_
    @oyeraj_ 3 года назад

    I Love These 2 Characters The Most 😍

  • @miztlidelira2445
    @miztlidelira2445 4 года назад

    Useful video. Good advice 👍

  • @shalabhnegi
    @shalabhnegi 6 лет назад

    Thanks for the share really struggle with this scenario

  • @walenalivingprayingdancing4215
    @walenalivingprayingdancing4215 5 лет назад +2

    I NEEDED this❤

  • @colleenangell1569
    @colleenangell1569 5 лет назад +15

    I would absolutely love to have you as my friend and be able to call you when ever I need positive word!! 🥰

  • @rose-iu5ij
    @rose-iu5ij 6 лет назад +6

    Their accent is so beautiful. Great message ❤

    • @sudokudo
      @sudokudo 6 лет назад +1

      indigo marshmallow Yass! I thought I was the only one who likes their accent coz I never saw a comment about that. 😛😁

    • @rose-iu5ij
      @rose-iu5ij 6 лет назад +1

      I am a girl haha 😂

  • @rishikajain3536
    @rishikajain3536 5 лет назад

    U r inspiring Jay Shetty

  • @vamiranda08
    @vamiranda08 5 лет назад

    Thank you so much for this reminder :)

  • @charmycree2024
    @charmycree2024 5 лет назад +36

    I wish I had Jay on speed dial on my phone when I need help with problems....that would be soo cool!!

  • @jwaliaaa
    @jwaliaaa 5 лет назад

    This had me in tears.

  • @AkashDubey94
    @AkashDubey94 6 лет назад

    Amazing....bro,thanks a ton for sharing

  • @palarmasaudiolibrary1391
    @palarmasaudiolibrary1391 4 года назад

    Thank you, this was a really nice video with a deep message ❤️

  • @rodicatheone9818
    @rodicatheone9818 4 года назад +1

    Some parts you have right.but to comunicate our feelings or expectations is not so easy.not for woman not for man.always exist a part we don't sayed.i ask myself why but this is the truth

  • @CB-br9jc
    @CB-br9jc 4 года назад

    I needed this. Thanks.

  • @Ninety20Nine
    @Ninety20Nine 5 лет назад

    Thanks for this Jay

  • @Jerrie.perrie
    @Jerrie.perrie 6 лет назад

    Just what I needed!!

  • @emilynicole.2267
    @emilynicole.2267 4 года назад

    I needed to hear this. The last few days my husband and I have been spatty at each other. We normally hardly ever argue. Were both very stressed at the moment.

  • @manojshrinivasaiah7054
    @manojshrinivasaiah7054 6 лет назад

    The best advise!!!!

  • @recoverycito7554
    @recoverycito7554 5 лет назад

    Precious words...