The R-rated Oregon Trail
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- Опубликовано: 2 мар 2016
- The Oregon Trail was a great game - but there were some things they couldn't teach kids. This is the bloody, sexy, drunken trail. Follow Phil Edwards and Vox Almanac on Facebook for more: / philedwardsinc1
For more about the sources, read the full article: www.vox.com/2016/3/3/11152436/...
We all loved The Oregon Trail as kids - and the gameplay was pretty accurate. But there were a few things about pioneer life that weren't fit for that precious hour in the computer room.
Some images in this video come from Shutterstock: shutterstock.com
You can play the game here: archive.org/details/msdos_Ore...
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Random guy: Doctor I'm bleeding and I have frost bite
Doctor: no worries, just eat some *CORN BREAD* and you'll be better
Doc, I’m so hung over.
Here, pour some whiskey on that.
Doc, I have a brain tumor
Doctor: here, just eat some 𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗸
School nurse tingz
Me: Doc im so drunk...
Doc: here, some whiskey and bacon should cure you right up!
@@nochannelmusician769 Thanks doc. Now I can get drunk again to avoid the hangover
Prescribing cornbread, bacon & whiskey for ones ailment? I don't see the problem here.
who needs modern medicine when you have bacon and whiskey
+Mika Webb-Contreras ikr
+Cameron j Your comment is the American mindset in a nutshell.
+Cameron j Your comment is the American mindset in a nutshell.
Tigerous I'm pretty sure I didn't forget that one, but OK 😐
I thought the prostitution thing would be called an 'Oregasm'
...
Ba dum tishhhhh
good one but was the last line supposed to be like the drum thing that they do on late night talk shows after the host makes a cheesy joke lol
It's called a rim shot
Heyooooooooooooo!
lol
I see what you did there 😂
They need to remake this game.
+Liam O'Quin Source?
There's an iPhone version remake
play dwarf fortress.
*****
Fuck of
*****
You've got a desiese! Pay 20$ to get cured instantly or wait 20 Hours. Buy food 5$ per kilogram. You have reached a river [Share on Facebook] [Share on Twitter] [Share on Snapchat] [Uppload to instagram] [Uppload to RUclips] [Share on Bing] [Share on MSN] [Send to Email] [Uppload to Google plus].
Uh oh, you ran out of Ammo and Energy! Pay 5$ for Ammo or wait 7 Days
The past was fucking horrible.
+Eli Brown the past was great but in different ways.
i doubt someone like you would be able to survive very long though
+Eli Brown But nobody tell the Republicans that, it's funnier this way.
+namn And I doubt someone from the far past would manage to stay sane for very long here.
the present is fucking horrible
And the future will be too
“Doctor my arm fell off”
Have some bacon
“What the shi-“
Hahahhah
When it said "Bones and corpses, everywhere!" I spit up my drink
Why
zac yurkanin it sounded funny
+NemRaps Why it sounded funny?
Sorry just felt like trolling =P
NemRaps I'm a big fan!
One of my forebears kept a journal while traveling west on the Mormon trail (which ran parallel to the Oregon trail on the other side of the river). He listed their inventory when they set out, ending with a bottle of whiskey for medicinal purposes. And then he wrote, deadpan, "The first week we were sick a lot."
Nathan Rasmussen out of curiosity did the rest of the journal reveal him to be a brilliant comedian, or was that more of a one off thing?
It sounds very interesting. You should publish it.
Nathan Rasmussen, my sister & I played the CD-ROM version growing up(we were 90s kids). 1 session 1 of her party members kept getting sick & she wrote in the journal "it's about friggin' time." Did your ancestor write something similar? I'm just curious.
Red Dead Redemption 2 looks great
Red Dead Redemption 2: Horse ***** shrink in cold weather
It is
Doesn’t it?
I used to rush through my typing lessons to be able to play this game with the remainder of the period. Loved this video
_t h e p a r t i e s were w i l d_
hell yeah man
Original Oregon Trail: "You have died of dysentery"
R-Rated Oregon Trail: "You have died of gonorrhea"
Also R-Rated Oregon Trail: "You shot 952 pounds of meat, but you were wounded by a gunshot."
The actual Oregon Trail was preserved as a national landmark by my great-great uncle, Ezra Meeker.
He drove his ox pulled wagon down New York's 5th Avenue, and also on the White House lawn.
He personally met President Theodore Roosevelt and Calvin Coolidge.
He was also the first mayor of Puyallup, Washington.
Oh wow you weren’t kidding! I’m from Kent Washington, so I had to look that up to confirm.
Wow, saw the name at the end of the game in the high score screen as well. Probably a tribute to him🙌
How is this not a thing?
-John Oliver
"Doctors prescribed stuff like cornbread, bacon and whiskey."
And they stopped why?
constipation, heart disease, and alcoholism
IF WE STILL HAD PRESCRIPTION BACON, I WOULD OVERDOSE
RIP @@Post_Stall_Maneuver
Cause of Death
Bacon Overdose
c. 750,000,000 BC-2020
@@thehorseformerlywithoutana2522 Big pharma wants u to believe this...
Bacon, Corn bread and whisky! sounds like a great dinner.
Yum
whisky and opium sounds like an even better one.
or just whisky
or one hell of something to put with ice cream
Fatty bacon rough cornbread and dangerous illegal whiskey
these fucking non skippable are getting longer and longer
+Aidan Clarke. yea
+uest super search adblock.
Google wants us to subscribe to RUclips Red . But don't do it!!! We are the resistance!!!!!
+isrrael kumiko get the free 13 day trial
+isrrael kumiko all you have to do is install RUclips red
I would totally pre-order this M-rated game:
*"Oregon Trail 2: Hell on Wheels"*
I have an essay due in 4 minutes but I'm stuck in a black hole of watching vox videos. I only have 3 sentences so far
I wonder what happened?..
I relate to you very strongly, my friend.
Stephen Caputo did you make it?
I know this is 1 year old but just wanted to say I feel ya
I swear I'm gonna fail tomorrow
Did you fail?
So basically it's just like Oregon today, minus the opium pills.
+Egg Saladsoda He means without.
+Add Tracer And he means that Oregon today still has drugs
Oh. AND MYSTERY
LOL
To be fair...whiskey and opium probably works great.
For the pain, I mean. ;)
We still use it today. Ever heard of opioid? Yea, that was originally derived from opium, hence the same word stem. Only difference is we can synthesize more pure versions in the lab now. Ye science.
@Leon Yu that's common knowledge, I'm sure he already knew that mate.
This was my childhood. I want to go play it again.
+MadewithSoyy Try organ trail, it's on steam
Soy Nguyen me too
0:45 Embarrassed at how much I laughed at the poor lil dude gettin’ run over by the wagon, w the polyphonic sound effects. Perfect 😂😅
Nice sound effects. Looks like someone was inspired by the "History of Japan" video...
There is a resemblance. Good ear.
This isn't even close to the diversity of sounds in the Japan video.
And they all died in a tornado! Err, umm... typhoon...
*THE SUN IS A DEADLY LASER!!!*
Is it Tonga time?
Am I the only one who found this kind of amusing?
Yes, you are the only one who found this amusing video kind of amusing, Sheryl.
Yes, you are the only one who found this amusing. The video was definitely made to be extremely boring and unfun to watch. You are a freak of nature and I hope you never come out of your hole.
Much love Green for being compelled to respond to these seemingly obligatory "Am I the only one who [something that makes zero sense following that preface]" with biting sarcasm.
I swear it seems like every video has one of these comments near the top! Rarely do I ever see "Am I the only one who didn't find this at all amusing" or something that would actually make sense. Also, it's cousin "Is it just me or..." is pretty dumb but not so often abused.
You mean M rated
i was looking for this comment. it bugged me that they put R also lol
yea I believe M is for games and R is for movies?
Jerry Zou actually there are dead kids so adults only would be more accurate
Thank the lord
2:28 dog goes into soup sound of 8bit explosion, makes me laugh every time.
Doctors prescribed BACON??? SIGN ME UP!
1:28
"Independece Em-oh"
MO is Missouri for anyone who lives outside of flyover country
No duh
Kilroy was here
AydenHubbell Productions lol
Beagle was here, too.
i was here aswell
The deadest meme in the world
I appreciate the work and research put into this video, good stuff
Watching this video made me appreciate the fact that I live in the 21 century America.
Color graphics??? What sort of witchcraft is this?
It's green monochrome for the real pioneers.
green monochrome for computers old enough to actually be used on the Oregon trail...
+Glade Swope
That's the exact same method I use to render graphics. I've got a guy from the bank stuffed into an extra server case I had lying around.
*arm falls off*
"aaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAA!"
"eeeh, pour some whiskey on it."
Love the pixel animation in this. Especially the kid getting his head stuck.
One of my old relatives, Eli Bagley, almost starved to death on the Oregon trail, but when he survived and made it to Eureka, California, he opened the county-famous ice cream shop “Bon Benniere,” which closed when I was ten, ending one of the few cool things any of my relatives had done.
Back in my day, we got bacon for medicine
wow! the hot-boiling-water-on-the-penis challenge kinda of makes our ice bucket or cinnamon or [insert-latest] challenge look like a joke
The only thing standing in the way of thousands of teen/YA-shaped evolutionary misfires trying that is Vox's extreme lack of appeal to the aforementioned demographic.
This is really well made. I remember playing this a few years ago on the internet archives. My mom played it on the first computer in her school ever.
Teachers: if you want to get kids to pay attention in history class, tell them about this kind of stuff. You'll never fail a student again.
All in all life not too long ago was pretty shit. I'm glad to be alive now.
fuck yeah! what a time to be alive(:
+Casey Green Born to late to explore the world. Born to soon to explore the universe. Born just in time to browse dank memes.
People will probably look back on us in 150 years and say the same thing
I've been playing organ trail lately. It's just oregon trail but with zombies and it's really good.
I played the TEXT ONLY version back in '82, which really makes me feel old!
Earlier today, two of my friends were playing Oregon Trail in their free time and entered each others' names as well as mine...
I got lost and got a fever in one friend's game, and drowned in the other. :')
You should see the Starkid musical Trail to Oregon!
“The transcontinental railroad was finished” *proceeds to show animation of a German tank engine*
I just so happen to have such a dark sense of humor that I laughed at the whole thing
this was a nostalgic and pedagogical masterpiece
My sister & I played this game growing up(the CD-ROM version). We were 90s kids. There was this 1 session where sis was playing the game. There was this 1 person in the party who kept getting sick, finally the character died. She put in the journal "It's about freakin' time." I can't help but wonder if some1 from the 1800s wrote that while on the trail.
Random Fact Guy is here
A wheelchair designed for people in rural areas uses two levers that can increase power or increase speed depending on where they are grabbed.
Goodbye
I remember playing the floppy disk Oregon Trail in elementary school. I’m 21 now.
When you talked about prescribing bacon, I was reminded of that old Rhett and Link "rub some bacon on it" song.
i find this really fascinating and informational lol also direct descendent of the donner party rare to hear them talked about. love thr vid:)
*thump thump*
pfft there goes your son jerry lol
I imagined the thump thump as the sound from Law & Order
I'm doing this for my GCSE History course and I learnt more from this video than in class.
*what happens on the trail, stays on the trail*
My elementary school teacher had us play this in the computer lab almost 15 years ago.
Such an amusing game.
"Whatever happens on the trail stays on the trail" my favorite quote of all time
What is the speach program u used
Now I know where Ron Swanson got his health education. Thanks +Vox.
I just realized that the Oregon Trail was a child friendly version Red Dead Revolver.
they let us play this in school
the PG version thou...
"you win some you loose some"
A moment of silence for our fallen brethren.
"Hell on Wheels" was a 2011 AMC TV miniseries about the building of the transcontinental railroad. Fraud, graft, Mormons, Indians, and the "soiled doves" supplied the many twists and turns in the tale before it all ended at Promontory Point, Utah in 2016.;)
Gambling? Booze? Prostitutes? I know a certain bending unit who would love the Oregan trail.
Doctor, my 1 year old got a really big cut
"Have him take a bath in whiskey"
how'd you do the graphics here
I live in Independence, Mo. Every year we have SantaCaligon Days.
Is is an advertisement for a kickstarter game?
this is the best vox ever
Great video
what if the oregon trail was made for pirates? this is the arrrgon trail
Leave
*Applause*
Stop
I have the Deluxe version of Oregon Trail, I'm glad they don't mention these things in it.
Maggots are actually an excellent antiseptic.
i have austio perosis
I have become tired of this joke.
It's no joke. NPR did a story on it. Look it up.
Only if they're hatched and raised in a sterile environment prior to emplacement. Otherwise they're as bad as the poop-eating flies they came from. (They were born on poop)
You're right I should've mentioned that. Hopefully no one read my comment and peeled some off rotting meat to treat an infection. 0_0
We only had bright green colored characters on a black screen when I was in grade school. That color version looks a lot better.
The way I heard it, puppy dog was traditionally served with it's little paws sticking out of the bowl.
I got a whisky ad before the video started lol
I was expecting a playthrough. Son, I am disappoint.
Nice to meet you, Disappoint
Learned more in this than history
This is the first time vox reviewed a game
It's amazing its from 1980's but a strategy game
"You win some you lose some." lol
children?
I learned this stuff in 2nd grade great reminder
cowboy: horseshoe throw and chill?
girl: * screams followed by multiple gunshots *
* blood on tent *
* wolves heard nearby *
* cowboy now screaming while bleeding out *
girl: what have i done?!
* gets killed *
when the voice that appeared for transitions played, I laughed.
_the parties were wild_
I loved playing this in class
Hell on Wheels is an excellent show too.
The parties were wild
why are you running the ms dos version on an apple II
This is great
I can confirm as i was a extra "wagon wheel"😂😂😂
We played this game in fourth grade cause we were learning about the Oregon trail. Good times.....
Where can I get a copy?
As soon as it said people had dumb accidents, an error occurred and i laughed for 5 minutes
What happened to the 8 key on your Apple II?
i freaking love this game
BEST YOU TUBE VIDEO EVER!!!
It's the Nerve voice!
There's a version of this I played called "Organ Trail" where you had to go across the country in a car with your friends to a safe house.