The Dos And Don'ts For Ridiculously Sensitive People
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- Опубликовано: 22 авг 2024
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I know you’re out there, you ridiculously incredibly sensitive people, and oh dear am I one myself, I sure am. Even if you aren’t a ridiculously sensitive person, I can almost guarantee you have those specific moments where your sensitivity levels reach a dangerous high. So I’ve lived on this earth as an extreme sensitive for long enough to know what will feel nice to my sensitive nerves, and I’ve learned the hard way just what to stay away from. Let’s see if you agree with me on this list of dos and don’ts or if you have completely different ones. Should we start with the don’ts? Okay.
I talk about:
- overscheduling
- stop watching news
- draining relationships
- the problems with alcohol
- cynicism
- accepting that you’re sensitive
- taking breaks
- being silent
- veganism
- having a calm partner
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I am 84 and still maintain a child-like joy seeing plants grow, hugging my favourite tree, and being an environmentally aware vegan in general. I am very sensitive to many things you describe. I can't be in large crowds, noisy or not. I get stressed easily but I am learning to stay in the moment and be aware of my breath, which I find very calming in all situations. I do have my husband of 10 years who is like an older David type- he is great at handling all the annoying mundane things like bills and as a bonus, he always washes the dishes, pots and pans. We rarely eat out as I like cooking all organic food. We don't have a dishwasher so he gets double hugs.
Every time Jenny talks I feel like it gives me permission to be myself. Thanks 😊
I feel the same way. I am often surprised at how deeply Jenny influences me! The older sister I never had lol
Same here! Yup yup yup
Me too. She is the smart younger sister I never had.
I don't have a David; I have a Socrates: a 190 cm blond teddy bear of a man with a deep, calming voice. Never been mad at me once in seven years. Best human ever!
I don't even know you and this comment made me tear up. Sounds like a beautiful soul :)
I used to be a social media doom scroller, true crime consumer, and avid drinker. I’ve since cut that all out of my life in the last three years. It’s helped my mental health immensely! I feel lighter and more clear-headed most days. Honoring my sensitivity has been crucial in my healing and self-improvement.
Hi ! How did you managed to cut the doom scrolling ? I sometimes just crave to turn off my brain and immerse in this, how do you cope with this feeling if you had also had it ? Did you replace it with anything ?
“Honoring my sensitivity” is such a beautiful way to say it! In the past few years, I have been doing just that, but it has especially been the past few months when it has consciously been at the forefront of my mind. I finally admitted to myself that I am a sensitive person, after having supressed it for multiple, mostly societal reasons for most of my life. I have been using the phrase “accomodating my sensitivity” lately, but as much as it is an improvement for me, it has an undertone of annoyance. Sometimes I still can’t help feeling that my nervous system’s natural disposition is a burden, after being conditioned that way (even though I actually wouldn’t want to change the way I am, as it would fundamentally change my perception of the world and thus, my creativity). So, I love “honoring my sensitivity” as an alternative to my term. It feels fuzzy, warm, even proud. It feels like we’re holding ourselves, instead of just doing whatever we need as a chore to keep ourselves functioning. I cut back on caffeine, eliminated upsetting enterntainment, limited upsetting news media to a minimum and I listen to my body’s cues in real time. Life changing for a sensitive soul, truly.
@@MillyIncorporation I had to do the same last year but still wanted the ability to veg out, so I deactivated Facebook and created a second Instagram account. I was very, very selective with who I followed on that account and only like posts that fuel my creativity, passions, etc. For me, that includes a lot of accounts like Jenny's, as well as minimalist fashion and life (just not an extreme accounts that make me feel bad about not being minimalist enough... those also overwhelm me), accounts with calm esthetics, cute animal accounts, and my closest friends (to still be able to share said cute animals haha). It might be worth a try!
Caffeine- and alcohol-free options are a lifesaver. And headphones on public transport. No music, just to dampen the noise. Emails/ messages over phone calls. HSP survival tactics.👍
I have to have my phone on do not disturb for emails/messages too aha- only checking it at chosen times
I'm extremely sensitive so I son't watch the news, I listen to them on the radio, it's been a total game changer
I even find that too much aha, I read it, but radio probably quicker!
I can’t read, watch or listen to the news. I always, invariably feel worse, even after just one typical article.
I relate 1000% about having boundaries about the news. It's so toxic, and the way people consume news today has little to do with 'being informed'.
It's hard to get away from it at times, even on IG you would somehow get fed by images and posts that you didn't want to see. So the solution to this is just get off social media! We really should draw harder boundaries for ourselves to protect our mental health and our sensitivity, in the people we surround ourselves with and the content we choose to ingest.
I loved what you said about silence being about an absence of words or ideas and the consumption of them. I've thought about this before and I feel like if I spend too much time consumption ideas and concepts, even visuals (I'm looking at you Pinterest.), that I start to feel out of balance. I feel like I can't have my own thoughts because I keep stuffing myself full of other people's ideas. The input and stimulus of the world must be balanced by creativity and preferably making things with my own hands, like painting or even just cooking a meal or tidying my home.
Couldn’t agree more, this happens to me all the time and has impacted my creativity as I feel out of balance after stuffing my brain of ideas. As an artist it can even prevent you for making altogether. I am now being a lot more selective with what I consume and how much, but it’s constant work as it’s so easy to forget how much it impacts you
Oh thank you so very much for this video. 'Sensitivity' is something that has only recently been talked about actually. I'm in my 60s and if something made you feel 'frightened' or you 'felt it deeply' you were told that you were just being 'over the top'. But this is now something that is more accepting of people. I certainly relate to this video.
I couldn’t agree more. I love my soft side and recently said goodbye to all the toxic relationships in my life. Life is too short. Long live the soft and gentle folk! ❤
Yes, being vegan is also one of my best decisions in life! It gives me peace knowing I'm aligning my action with my morals, treating all animals (as well as humans) kindly and respectful. ❤
This is pretty refreshing view on sensitivity. I never liked to consume violence for example, not in the news, not in tv shows or movie... I could read about it only in books and only when it wasn't too much of it. Maybe the reason is like you said, because it's a fiction and it's handled with care, not as an entertainment. Another reason could be, that I could close the book whenever I wanted and returned to it when I felt I am okay to read more.
Usually, when I tell people I don't want to see a movie because there will be too much violence, I get a bit of odd looks. It makes me feel that it's weird to not want to consume media with too much violence. You're a breath of fresh air, I never really considered looking at sensitivity in a positive light in this regard.
Thank you thank you for speaking to the nature of a sensitive person. I’ve so often been told I’m too sensitive; I need to toughen up. I always felt deflated and confounded by those comments. Now, I see it as my strength. I want to offer the opportunity to explore this trait by reading the book titled The Highly Sensitive Person (How to thrive when the world overwhelms you) by Elaine N. Aron Ph.D. She has also written a book for The Highly Sensitive Child…so needed by parents not understanding how these children see and move through the world. Anyway, I very much appreciate your openness to share your own experiences as a sensitive person and yes, the world needs such people to balance out the darkness that exists around us. Namaste 🙏
I definitely have a more harsh and cynical personality, but I really wish I was more sensitive. I don't know if I'll ever change, but this video is good for helping me understand my more sensitive friends.
I think you are very normal, so to speak. Many people are sensitive in that way, but they don’t listen to themselves as you do. They see the News anyway, they drink and have a lots of meetings in their schedule anyway. I think your way is the new way of beeing. To listen to yourself and to your body. We need to take care of ourselves. And we are the only one who can do it 🤗✌️
My mum thought I was ‘hypersensitive’ as a kid, which is a bit of a pseudoscientific term. But I got diagnosed ADD as an adult. And I very much identity as a sensitive person. So in a way she was right.
I always have a reset day once a week. I work every weekday morning (sometimes from home) and also have a meeting on a Sunday. So Saturdays have to be for me otherwise I don’t cope with the following week. Everyone should have a quiet day to cope. Doing whatever makes you happy.
Lovely episode as always.
Hearing you talk about being ridiculous sensitive is so freeing for me. I would definitely identify as ridiculously sensitive and I'm curious how you are living in such a big city and not getting overwhelmed the moment your closing the door? 😂 Do you have any dos and donts for that in particular? I'd love to hear them. ❤
So relatable. I need healthy, hearty, good food - if I've got low blood sugar my sensitivity shoots up. I also have to take at least a day off before and after a holiday (crazy huh!). Love how much I know myself via my sensitivity though and how consciously aware it makes me.
Once I stopped conforming to what society expects of me my happiness levels soared. I am far happier than my own than in a relationship, I've never wanted children and I can only handle other people for about two-3 hours at a time. I don't like bright lights and bustle so I avoid supermarkets and gigs. I have chosen hobbies like sailing and running and yoga where I can be away from the crowd. I've stopped agreeing to public speaking. It took till my 40s to realise what I needed. But I am glad I tried a lot of things to realise why I don't do them anymore.
Making your home environment comfortable for your sensory sensitivities is a HUGE do! Lighting, bedspreads, work area, all of it! It's made my life so much better ❤
I love this "silence" tip! I really struggle with this so hearing you mention it is a good reminder that I need more silence in my days.
Oh wow, you hit the nail on the head for me with this, Jenny!
Thank you for your videos❤ I hope I find my David one day❤
Another brilliant video Jenny, honestly I'm an older woman with no children, turns out after I gave it thought I couldn't have them anyway, and yes the guilt projected at no children is unbelievable and I once got told by a do called friend that I'm not a real woman until I have children. Yeah right, we were friends much after that and I was fine. The guilt from people for me is not from my parents, it usually from peers, friends and strangers, definately overreaching with their opinions. Anyways love yr work Jenny.
As a sensitive person, my thoughts align with you. I have the same Do's and Don'ts. Thank you for your videos and your insight! ❤
I think this is my most favourite video you’ve ever done. As an autistic woman I am hypersensitive (even movies with jump scares totally make my nervous system feel like crap) and I’ve often been shamed for it because I’m too jumpy and my body expressions are too reactive and often appear strange with sudden extremities. Choosing to live away from drama and intensity - even sensory sensitivity can be unpopular but this video is like a love letter to our sensitivity.
„we’re not meant to toughen up, we’re meant to stay soft“ ❤️🩹
Can you do a more in-depth video of how exactly working on staying soft and gentle instead of developing some sort of cynicism? Would be so cool! :)
One of my donts is sugar - since I quit sugar I am feeling much calmer and have less internal rollercoaster to cope with. Now I am less overwhelmed from all the outside impressions and chaos, but I still need a lot of down time and solo walks.
My kind of video. I didnt even hear the word sensitive person until a few months ago. At first I rejected it like im not sensitive! But then when I realized what it was to be sensitive it was a definition of me. I cried. I appreciate this video as a reminder. I also quit all forms of news and I also quit any scary movies. That was such a huge change. My husband thought it was silly but so important for my sanity. I also take days off home alone(we work from home). I do a lot with friends but I need recoup time. I take baths often, play piano, meditate, read and knit. I used to never give myself self care time. Just always doing for everyone else. The toughest part is my husband of 30 years. He thinks being strong minded is the only way. He has some past trauma and has a hard time being vulnerable. So he looks at my sensitivity as weak. It definately causes me anxiety. I also drink only occasionally. Nothing wild just dinner date drinks every now and then. I so appreciate knowing there are others that are sensitive. And it’s a superpower.
Maybe husband should watch this video! Take care both
gratitude is one of the surest ways I know of that helps one stay gentle and compassionate ❤
I’ve never heard a more apt description of myself. One of my favorite videos you’ve ever put out. Regarding the consuming current events/ news bit, my partner and i are opposite each other. I quit consuming news years ago and he keeps me abreast but I find myself constantly concerned about how up to date he is on everything/ how much he consumes. It stresses me when he speaks of news as soon as we wake up and I like quiet mornings to process but it’s so important to understand that his needs are different than mine. It’s a balance I’m trying to grow in. And I find myself concerned that he should pull back from it/ that he’s not just being and enjoying life. However, I need to remind myself that despite our closeness and companionship, we are different people with different needs. I feel like (from the outside in) you have a much more mature approach regarding this with David. I hope to grow more in this myself.
It is good to be soft in many ways. I love when people are caring of others and are sensitive to them. It is so important in life!!! I enjoyed the list!
Game changer❤ amazing. 🙏 always knew about this , because of my adhd + sensory sensitivity + emotional sensitivity, but never ,considered just how important , is in a world that Is not setup for non-neurotypical people, the extent that you really need to protect yourself and your peace. This is so important for me and makes sense why being a human / going through human experiences sometimes feels so alien and extra excruciating @times. This makes it so important for teachers and the school system to understand, esp when dealing with kids that aren’t “ normal” per-se - to facilitate a better future for all human beings and a calmer society with less misunderstanding.. because people understand themselves first, from a young age - and are supported in that
Please, make a video on how to build a relationship as lovely as yours and David’s one 💗
I swear I chronically overschedule, not necessarily with people, but for my own to-do lists. I'm stuck in this endless cycle of getting overwhelmed, but also unable to wind down because of the endless to-do list. And going on social media/news is so triggering, I only need to see one sad video and I could cry for the next hour. :/ My partner also tells me the news because I can't handle it myself haha. I also like my treats in the form of cocktails/bubbly drinks, so even though I've also done dry months, I noticed myself feeling so bored and restricted by complete dry-months. I think your way of doing it is smart, you're allowing yourself a drink, but also allowing yourself the space to recover.
It’s incredible how one single video watched online or on socials could impact your mood for the whole day, it happens to me a lot
I get exactly the same with the to do list bit! Any tips/signposting sources welcome from people
As a fellow HSP I identify so much with everything you stated in this video. I'd also like to mention how sensitive we are to our environment. For example, I'm currently looking for a new flat. It's pretty challenging to say the least. So far I rejected an apartment where someone died recently, one with a beautiful view of a...cemetery and one facing a ruin of a house. Also I always make sure to check what kind of neighbors live in surrounding flats since I'm so sensitive to noise. I wonder if I ever find a home where I will feel nice and comfortable. Oh and I also hope to find my "David" one day :-)
Agree apart from cemeteries. They are one of the quietest, most peaceful places (usually) with lots of green and very few visitors (usually!)
I agree with a David. I have one and it helps not working or trying to find myself and have so much time for myself. I love it
Love this Video!! My David is named Walter 14years and counting..Gentleness is a strength not a weakness I believe..
This all video is so interesting !! I am a very sensitive person myself, but I am on a path to try and toughen up at least enough to not get cought in too much anxiety when in contact with the hard things in life. I was definitly raised in a protective bubble where I was encouraged to just be a child and create and do art. But now that I am becoming a proper adult, it's painful to discover all that is heartbreaking or frightening in the world. Thank you so much for your perspective, because I really thought I had no other option than to toughen up. I just want to become a functional adult. But you're right, staying true to our core should be the top priority ❤
I think what I do to help with my sensitivity is being able to create beautiful and kind meanings to the things that may bother me or make me rack my brain. Just reflecting on them and just being able to look at it from different perspectives helps a lot.
What a lovely soul you are, this very wholesome. Love to you and David
Had a WOW moment when you said you need one day off after meeting other people. I've felt guilty for being like this as well, like how can I feel so drained and tired after seeing loved ones? I'm going to therapy to understand myself better but seeing how other people like you talk about these things in such a gentle manner is a huge relief. At the same time, isn't it wonderful that you don't feel that way with David, but it's the complete opposite? It's just beautiful. Thanks for your videos, I saw this one and couldn't stop thinking about it!
Definitely a highly sensitive person here! I relate to so much in this video. Thank you for sharing, I've been so ashamed of being so sensitive my entire life but now, especially after reading so many of the comments of this video too, I feel like there isn't anything wrong with me and I CAN be my very sensitive self and it be 100% okay ❤
That was a much needed video Jenny. Thank you. Let’s be all our soft gentlewomen ✨
Jenny, I have read the little book Reunion because you suggested it. Thank you, so beautiful. But I wish the end had been different.
Gentlewoman!! Definitely don't overplan. I also try and stay away from caffein. I do use my sensitivity to be compassionate. Best thing though, I've found myself an Oskar xx
I’ve been sober for a year and I couldn’t be happier! I have bipolar and it’s been huge in terms of getting my mental health under control.
(Btw! I’ve been following you for like 9 years and I’d love a video on how you went from dressing and looking super edgy and stark to now where you look soft and chic. I want to understand how your style changed so much and what you did with all your old pieces!)
Thank you for the video. I've been on a journey the past few years of embracing my sensitivity. Have you read Elaine Aron's book The Highly Sensitive Person? It was immensely helpful for me, as well as very affirming and validating. Wishing all the sensitive babes out there the best... All of what you said is spot-on!
I feel like tooth tabs wanted to widen their maket and that's why its marketed as environmental thing... They're actually very neet for hiking during winter when regular toothpaste would freeze. Or when flying (which of course is bad itself) and want to cut down the amount of liquids
This is such a wholesome video, I’m so glad you found your do’s and don’ts to live your life in a way that feels good. And I find that I implement most of them myself, too. Embracing your sensitivity is such a powerful thing to do I have found, true self love🥰
excellent and of course sweet which is also Holiiness
Lovely video! ❤ I would love to see a video from you on content creation, how you create your videos, publishing your first novel, some practical tips for aspiring writers out there or people trying to grow an audience. I think you would have so much to share from your journey that would be helpful to others as well ❤
I’d love more food videos. Your videos chill me out aesthetically and I don’t have anyone to watch like this
I have a David myself ❤ He really does help.
I definitely need a David un muy life! Thanks for your view on sensitivity. Listening to you made me feel understood and not alone. ❤
Wow, jag behövde höra detta. Tack snälla💛
Thanks for this. I live how you see it as a strength and accept and work with it. I also need to see my own like this.
I agree, as a sensitive woman towards people ´s energy, I´m very protective of keeping away some relationships that use to tolerate but that doesn´t serve to any purpose. Now as a sensitive woman I have to be aware of whatever injustice happens in the world to take action, above all with the current situation, my sensitivity is my strenght to speak up.🍉
Wow I know really realize that I am also sooo sensititve. I recognize myself in every point you mentioned. Great Video ❤❤❤
Beautiful editing in this video. Please share a background and updated home tour 🙏
Thanks Jenny Mustard!
I love your videos so much and how beautiful you are as a person Jenny🥰
Love this! I understand the need to have time for your brain to wonder. I, too, have a "David" and that's helps tremendously. I often feel misunderstood for being sensitive, but you get it, thank you for sharing!
i know i am seeing this way to late but i love your apartment 😅 would love if you could share a few of your fav pieces!
Will do, thank you :)
Yes. Music w/out lyrics. My brain cannot ignore words.
Yes, I only just discovered that and I'm having to wean myself off music with lyrics, because without is so much better for me when I am multitasking
Maybe cut down on the multitasking as well 😂 it can be so stressful (I do it too though 😆)
I love this video! I am also a very sensitive person and can relate to every single point you mentioned ❤️
This video made me feel very seen. Thank you ❤
Feeling heard and understood 🌻🌺
I am a very very HSP. And I have a David who takes care of me but unfortunately has a hard time placing himself in my shoes. I never planned two events in one weekend unless it was impossible to avoid. I never read newspapers or watch the news. I don’t even want to tell my David about it. I don’t need to know what happens in the world and still I sometimes am more up to date then a lot of news addicts! I almost never have music on. It makes me nervous. I prefer podcasts as background but made by calmly talking people. I did get rid of toxic people in my life on a regular basis. I’m 65 so I’ve seen many pass by. They feel hurt because many times they’re just narcissists that do not realise how toxic they are and consider you to be bad because you’ve dumped them, although you’ve been putting up with for far too long to begin with just because you are sensitive and want to understand and help them. I’m very sensitive to smells and repetitive noises too. I don’t always think it’s an asset. Not always and I would give a fortune to spend just one day in a not sensitive persons body.
Oh my god, 99% agree, on spot. It's just that I have cut alcohol completely out ❤
fellow sensitive human :) I think we're better able to comfort other people because we have so much empathy
Fortunately I have a Laurent in my life and he is so precious! 💛
Such a GOOD video!! Thanks for sharing this very important message🌸🌿🌷
this is a lovely one. I'm with you on all the don'ts definitely :))
I'm autistic and your experiences are very similar to mine. The concept of hsp is in reality the explanation of being autistic. Maybe you've heard about it? I like your videos very much, thank you for your creativity! 😊
Lovely lovely lovely ❤
Pace yourself, realistically. Make list, and be OK with what you can achieve.
I chose not to drink on a regular basis. Too many alcoholics in my family. Also, the sulfates make my skin feel icky. I have no use for drunks, or goofy behavior due to too much alcohol consumption.
Toxic, mean people are not allowed in my life. It is easier to be civil and kind. It takes more energy to be a creepy mean person. I refuse to let these people in my life!
I read to relax, and educate myself.
None, or very little high sugar use.
Getting enough sleep is important to help with stress.
Thank you. I very much resonated with this video. So nice to have you put many of my experiences and life choices in words.
you are lucky to have one another Jenny very hard to find a partner who doesn't take advantage or drain you. I am or try to be very aware of my shortcomings and pluses but seem to attract those who take advantage so be on guard sensitive folks self care at all times. I only read news once or twice a week as usually it repeats so I scroll over headlines and don't read stories that might upset. Just changed over to my somewhat vegan diet out of necessity I am fine with it as have allergens to food and environment.
thank you for sharing
I have a very sensitive child and what works for us predictability and to notify her in advance on what is next. Limiting screen time and sugar when she starts having bad episodes often than usual, more quality time with me (her mom), so I will cut on scheduled activities, platdates, etc. and will arrange on my side to have time to spend just with her (I have another child as well), bring nature as much as possible, even last time she got gifted a small baby plant from our neighbour and she takes care of the plant and even this count as nature and calm the situation. Increase the outlets of physical expression and movement, so more dancing, more climbing, more running around helps. I think all these advices work for adults as well. The difference is you have to set them up and not your mama 😂😂
I love my once a week non-social day and get upset/angry if I allow for it to be taken away. 😶🌫️
💛✨💫Thank you.
Ok, now this one is for me. Hypervigilance and anxiety 24/7.
You are delightful to watch for sure !
Elaine Aaron has researched HSP's (highly sensitive person) it's not a bad trait and about 20% of folk have it. Not just found in humans either. Us HSP's are highly evolved finely tuned individuals, it's a great gift but we need to take great care too ❤
Great video!
Very well said! Thank you💕
❤
Dear Jenny - I share many of your Don'ts - As for moods: that's a good one to explore more...and while you describe David as a shield, I describe my husband as a rock: And I am the water or even the wind, that slowly tickles and carves its way through - we have been together for 15 years now😉
As for being vegan: love your choice! However, I am somewhat looking forward to testing a mealworm burger tomorrow😁
Kitties... love kitties
I too am an HSP but came from a very (I mean very) toxic family. I wish I didn't.
I’m also super duper sensitive. I have for instance on my phone the smallest amount of apps possible, and the once I have are in 2 folders in the 2. Page so the first thing I see is an empty page. I’m a jewelry artist so I also definitely think that being visual sensitive with colors and shapes and also with a lot of intuition is quit helpful. I like to consume a brief news podcast, so I also don’t see videos and pictures. I just moved in a big city now for my partner and it’s very challenging for me with so much going on in every sense in the surrounding - any advices for that?
May I suggest the podcast 'Pantsuit Politics'? Two highly intelligent and nuanced American women who distil the news (both U.S. and some global news too) within a political context. Beth and Sarah are lovely, caring, and educated. No sensationalism here.
♥
I need a David.
I've always been highly anxious and got used to operating close to 'boiling point' on a daily basis, and I didn't realise until very recently that perhaps my consumption of true crime and horror media might be contributing to this. While I find it interesting in a forensic way, after watching your 'this needs to be said' video I've become more aware of the way it affects my mood, as well as the ethical considerations (ie, if I don't kill animals for the pleasure of eating them, then why am I consuming media about dead humans for entertainment? Sidebar, why are there so many male content creators who almost exclusively cover stories of violent crimes against women??? It's a bit creepy actually.)
Having periods of time where I avoid this kind of media completely, and also being more discerning about how I consume it and the kinds of content creators I support when I do watch it has been really helpful.
I agree with all the only thing that i don't have David 😅or anyone else
Better to find peace on your own first and then this way you will attract the right kinds of people 🥰