Many avoidants are serial daters (monkey branching)
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- Опубликовано: 10 сен 2024
- #monkeybranching #serialdater #attachment #insecureattachment #avoidantattachment #dismissiveavoidant #fearfulavoidant #relationship #relationshipcoach #dating #avoidant #situationship #emotionallyunavailable #heartbroken #breakup #discard #divorce
Thank you SO much Coach Ryan, your content of messages, the way your coach messages helping me to get more understanding the Avoidant behaviour. You are 1000% correct and it help my healing process faster and faster! I really hope many people get educated by understand the attachment style of Avoidant can save us time! I wishing you all the success and you are truly helping people a LOT! Keep up your great work! I really appreciated all of your messages!
Makes sense, my ex's brother and sister both let slip a couple times that my ex constantly dated people or brought them around family. Typical rose colored glasses where I didn't want to accept the red flags.
I used to call monkey- branching as Tarzanning.
Avoidants will also "recycle" relationships from their past. Maybe an FWB scenario? I've seen that one.
Every attachment does this. Every single guy I've ever dated has come back to either try again or want to sleep together. That's anxious, avoidant and even secure lol. I think that has more to do with sexual desire over ones attachment style.
Spot on Thanks Man 👍
Yeah maybe, but anyone is capable of this sort of behaviour and a lot of people do it. rebounding could even be said to be quite normal and we've probably all done it at some stage.
Yrs. Happened to me. Monkey branched while still in a relationship with me. She knows nothing about me. I thought she was a friend since he has several female friends. Then he tried to minimize a four-year relationship/situationship.
Oh wow, 4 years. That sucks b*lls, I'm sorry. You deserve better, gurlfriend😢
Very detailed articulation, thanks
See I don't agree. I think some people just don't vibe right with one another. I've known so many people who were dating someone then got in a relationship or engaged within a few months after the break up. They weren't avoidants. They just didn't see a future with the person they dated before. I can understand why someone is left thinking why them and not me, but the truth is, they likely just weren't as interested and invested as you were hence why they ended it.
Avoidants...at least the ones I know just want calmness and someone that has energy that's more chill. If they feel that something doesn't feel right then they leave the situation and that's their choice. That leaves room for you to be open to date someone you're more compatible with and someone who wants to be there.
But he’s talking specifically about avoidants, not people who over time decide the relationship isn’t right for them. Usually the other party in those circumstances isn’t totally blind-sided and it’s ended in a respectful manner. He’s talking about the type of people who abruptly end a connection after claiming and behaving as if they are fully invested. Usually it’s the very fact the relationship is going well and is healthy that scares them away due to their emotional unavailability.
@@RedParis20 I guess I've known people who abruptly end things so it doesn't seem that odd to me. Usually a break up is one person saying that things aren't working for them and they leave. Even if things were seemingly going fine, a lot of times people change their minds or small things build up overtime making them suddenly want to leave. I just don't see the difference whether it's a secure person, AP, FA or DA. I've seen it from everyone. I was dating a secure man for a year and things were perfect then one day out of the blue he told me he was going to talk to his ex because she wanted to talk about getting back together. I wished him the best and moved on. I didn't personalize it. Maybe to some that would be considered a discard? But to me it was just someone who wanted to be with someone else and it wasn't me and I was okay with it.
@@LeeChrissy I don’t think a securely attached person blindsides someone. By definition if they are securely attached they will communicate their needs or wants if something is dissatisfying them within a relationship. Then if there is no improvement on the situation they may exit. They don’t immaturely not communicate and then dump someone from one day to the next. I would never blindside someone for example if I’m in a relationship. It’s ok to change your mind about someone of course, but that usually takes place at initial dating stage. If it’s gone so far as to constitute a relationship, a mature adult will try to work with their partner on any issues and only if that doesn’t work, walk away. People should behave with proper comportment and it’s perfectly reasonable to observe they are emotionally immature and/or avoidant in these types of circumstances.
@@RedParis20 I disagree on his attachment. He was a very stable secure man. There was nothing wrong with us honestly. Like nothing. No arguments, just carefree easy breezy. I think he just loved his ex more and missed her and again, that's fine. I don't need long explanations from people if they want to leave. I know that some need all that but whether we're together for 6 months or 3 years, if you no longer want to stay then by all means, go find your happiness. That doesn't make anyone unhealthy to me. We're just adults who went our separate ways.
@@LeeChrissy I just wonder in your circumstances was he expressing that he was absolutely loving how your relationship was going, talking about future plans and leading you to believe he had was fully invested in pursing a relationship with you and then the abruptly say he wanted to be with his ex? If yes, I think his behaviour was repugnant as he was misleading and was behaving selfishly and recklessly. If no, it’s different to the abrupt ending this coach is referring to. Just my two cents anyway..