Met up with 30 strangers from the internet and learned a thing or two about community. Oh and hi youtube i'm back (: Big s/o to Micaela / micaelaacastro
Loneliness to me is usually a sign that I’m not really in touch with my inner self ❤ once I focus on self love and my inner world I feel way less lonely. Doing things alone is not automatically the same as being in touch with your inner self. Being with people can still feel lonely if you’re not grounded in yourself. You can find companionship in hobbies, nature etc and a good community with people is a manifestation out of your own healthy companionship in my experience :)
I have realised this too. Loneliness is a mysterious feeling because it can really be helped by either connecting within or being with a warm accepting good group of people, or both but being alone and being with people can also exacerbate it if we're not truly connecting. I think you're absolutely right that it is important to always do the connecting within part because we can't always rely on finding like minded souls all the time.
@@katec9893 als je je eigen beste vriend wordt en en van jezelf gaat houden ben je nooit meer alleen en kun je ook beter echt contact met de mensen om je heen maken. duurde bij mij ook enkele jaren voor ik het echt snapte maar he ik ben pas 38 en mij is het gelukt! veel geluk met jezelf de rest van je leven, volgens mij ben je een leuk persoon om beter te leren kennen dus veel plezier daar mee🥰
the only one who will ever fill that void is God. new agers are being deceived, youre always chasing the next thing; the next part of healing, the next practice. because the devil doesnt heal, only God does. sure a few things do work, cause if they didnt nobody would try it. 2 Corinthians 11:14 “even satan himself disguises himself as an angel of light”. he makes everything seem so good, as if youre doing whats good and saving the world and giving you feeling different meaning by saying its “ cause youre and alien having a human experience “. he teaches about “inner self” and how “you are a god” “you are your own writer of your life”. this is all ego! lets remember why satan was sent to hell in the first place; he wanted to be like God. now he’s teaching all new agers that they are godesses. the devil works very hard, beware!
@@alecarrasquilloriveraSaying that we are god is the same thing as saying we are a part of god, which is also what christianity is about. Dividing is the work of the devil, my friend. As long as a belief isn't about infringing on someone else's well being, you should live and let live. Or don't, and you'll spend a lot of time fighting e-windmills.
I moved to Amsterdam last year and resonate a lot with your video!! I just recently wrote an article about how "people can feel lonely even when being surrounded by familiar people" and I also find myself so alive when connecting with strangers maybe we can connect in Amsterdam sometime.
Feeling alone around people I think means you don't belong, in my opinion. Finding your community that you can relate to makes you less alone. We're living in an age of loneliness crisis. I lived in Seattle for 16 years, and they have a term called, " Seattle Freeze". It's hard to connect with people, as it's not the friendliest city, but people are nice. After 2 years I created my community that I can relate to and felt less lonely. I left and now looking for a new place to live; back to being alone again. Everything is temporary, and part of life. Nothing stays the same but change.
I just want to have friends again like in school, where you hang out everyday and share the deepest darkest secrets at sleepovers 🙄 I hate how we declared honest connection as childish and inappropriate because everyone is pretending they have their life together
true but there still are some very social people out there like me as an example make friends in seconds whenever im outside even if people are loners i always find ways to crack them egg im also from netherlands btw like her in the vid
I’m from Amsterdam originally.. I’ve always lived there: I’m currently in Thailand and just wanted to tell you that you’re editing and narrating is beautiful 🙏🏽💖 I’m not sure if I wanna move back to Amsterdam because of certain things I’m afraid I’ll miss but just wanna tell you how amazing your video is 💖🙏🏽
One thing I learn, location can revive and revitalise, but it never cures. Sometimes it's the crowd that makes us lonely, and Amsterdam is a crowded place.
Wow.. exactly what Micael said about meeting strangers is the fun part but actually developing deeper connections is what I really struggle with. Good storytelling❣
Mooie video🩷 Ik zou willen zeggen: Geef het de tijd, met de jaren leer je steeds meer over jezelf en dit soort gevoelens. Je vergaart vanzelf een soort "toolbox" om hoe hiermee om te gaan. En je doet het al super!🙏
I think you are not really alone in life because there is nature, art, etc that is like being with someone or a group of people. I love being a loner because I find life in nature and the arts. Keep going. Your feelings are valid.
What a great video, super arty too! I am born and raised in Amsterdam and I have lived abroad as well.I do feel like we creators live a major part of our lives in isolation where we find ideas and utilize this energy to create whatever we’re aspired to at that moment.But then again I get inspired by other creators as well. You’ve handled your loneliness like a G in my opinion for the fact that you came up with the idea of hosting a walk for creators. That’s such an underrated idea 👏🏿. I will def stop you for a quick convo if I see you passing by here in Adam and if I recognize you of course lol ☮️&💜
I also lived in the NL and felt lonely most of the time even though I had friends. I feel like people there are way too superficial and only about fulfilling their lifestyle, rather than making meaningful connections. I recommend you spend some time in South Europe or South America where it’s so much easier to connect, as people are much more open… and the weather is actually good 😊
I'm so happy to read this bc I'm thinking to move to Spain. I am Dutch and by now my only friends are in my phone and they are in US, Brazil and Eastern Europe. I only seem to be myself and accepted by people abroad and I get along with dtch ppl but mostly it's just the passants I often feel like Dutch ppl ( not all) are judgmental and shortminded or envious. Working from home was heaven to me I suffered from nasty games in office. I left the job after 14 years sold my house after a traumatic experience of being assaulted there. Now in a conformable but very expensive rental apartment and my plan is to sell my car quit rent and find remote work and rent cheaper in Spain and leaving this area and pressure vibes behind. Pressure is everywhere bit palmtrees and maybe different culture could help and after working and adapting for years live more flexible and not force myself in a pattern killing my smile and life flow.
@@peaceofmindofpeace1650 have you lived abroad before? It is a unique experience, I think you should go for it and leave it all behind, at least for a little while. Although I can imagine it's difficult to find a job... but this is the case almost every where nowadays is my feeling. I really wanted to love my life in the Netherlands, I even learned the language up until fluency. Still, making meaningful connections was so difficult. And the country feels so monotone, it really feels like the game 'Sims'. Everyone is the same, same hobbies, same travel destinations, all the cities look the same... and expensive housing, but salaries meh. I am also thinking about going to Spain for some time and simply enjoy life. Or North America... I hope you will do it! Life is too short, we need to do what we enjoy !
I moved back to Amsterdam after 13 years on a volcano island I am happy The volcano is in me I missed inner fire Now it is in me, almost all that I was searching outside of me I came back with guitar and song from the heart. And painting desire. And massage skills. And the most precious asset: gratitude. Like the sun shining through your bedroom. Community is needed. Which needs sustained presence. Art of sending and receiving. Organically 🙏🏽
Mastering loneliness is like understanding you've never been lonely, you just accepted others to draw from you that which belongs to you. Congratulations, you're on the way to develop boundaries with others and in the process become an adult.
Beautiful video, I also strongly feel in today's society we are really individualistic. I see it also in companies. teams operating as islands unable to work together with others. We miss community, togetherness
Yes, I often felt small mindedness in companies. As if we all have to act and be the same way to conform, even if the image is: diversity and respect, integrity 'building bridges' etc.
The weather sucked here in Amsterdam!!…BUT it seems we are in for some good weeks of sunshine and that’ll cheer you up for sure! Same goes for me! Amsterdam is home 🏠
Hey! This is the first video of yours that I watched, and I LOVED IT. You’re such a great storyteller, and all the components fit perfectly together. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing. I relate alot to feeling lonely and thinking moving somewhere is gonna fix it all lol. Glad I’m not the only one 💀
Interesting! When my rental contract ended this year i found myself asking: why stay in Amsterdam? My answer was: because there's life everywhere! I also went looking for a house in a small (previously) working class neighbourhood in Haarlem, where people still say hi to each other. Now i wonder why i prefer to live in anonymity with 1 mln people around me, compared to living in a much smalle community where people actually know each other... I haven't figured it out yet. All i do know is that until a few hundred years ago communities were rarely any larger then a few hundred people...
Today I walked in a beautiful park in Amsterdam Noord and a woman was walking passed me and it felt weird to not say hi so I said hi ( I'm a woman btw) she was eating so perhaps that was the reason lol but she didn't say hi back and I felt so stupid but on the other hand I often have spontaneous chats with ppl. Another woman said good day in the same park with a smile so jeah. It's obviously less common in the city to greet when you pass eachother.
You probably are not in great company and that is why you rather choose to be alone. ;) this is a typical twenny phase. In the past I could relate to this. Its the dynamic in friendships and values that is also undergoing a metamorphosis. Adam is a lovely city, but you will get to bond with the city as a love and hate relationship “het is ingewikkeld”.
Find the spots where many people go, like meet fun expats at Mezrab, storytelling theatre. The audience is open and warm. Join toastmasters, or other clubs. Learn Dutch, to expand your options. Go train improv theatre to improve social skills. Etc.
I used to be very lonely and severely depressed, s-- attempts and harming myself, having to take heavy meds to feel okay. Now I have been married for almost 5 years and it healed me. I have a best friend at all times. I feel happy. I feel complete. I’m not depressed anymore. I wish this opportunity to anyone. Btw I’m a 27 yr old female. :)
I dont understand how Amsterdam can be your dream city in this whole universe and this is from a Dutch person, Amsterdam is cool for a day, but full of tourist and most people that work in Amsterdam live 10-30 mins from Amsterdam, because the city is just poopy. Also, the Netherlands without sun is probably the worst weather ever, being alone is fine, but you need to feel alive while being alone and the Dutch weather only gives you negativity, that's why a better place would be either Spain, Portugal, Italy ( Paris is a nice city, but still cold ) so go to the south. Having friends/family/community to bond with + having the sun with you = beautiful life
Thanks for another encouraging comment since I'm Dutch and deciding to move to Spain alone. Atm applying for a job in NL. If I'm not invited for interview I will go for Spain. It's hard bx zi just found seemingly genuine love but we agreed that our love will find it's way and he wants to join me. I think I have to jump. Someone said: yes but you have a house here. What if it fails and you want to come back to NL? Well what's the alternative? Working for my 1580 eur rent? I came here to rent for one year then left my job after 14 years after unfair games. So now I can fight my way back for succes and to have a 'good job' or work freelance, lower salary but in cheaper Spain. My neighbor left to Portugal bc he was fed up with the clouds. I don't live in the centre. I live near NDSM. I do like the area but it was fun for 3 years.
Achieving a goal then not feeling happy has of course disadvantages but also one huge advantage:Looking for that in life which is real. That is not career, parties etc. But love or true connection with people. Having said that, it is true that Amsterdam/and Netherlands can be a lonely place also for locals. I work in the hospital and I see many people who are lonely. That is clearly a defect in Dutch society but you can find your way around is by joining sports clubs, join community etc.
Thanks for sharing this actually, it takes a lot to one share you're lonely and two share you are lonely with the world.. Some really good remarks, nice video editing too:)
I have just watched this video...and now I feel less lonely. I have signed for that creators' walk and talk for the same reason. Longing for a community❤
Thankyou for making this video🥹 I actually live in amsterdam and have been dreaming of moving away, genuinly believing ill be so much happier. But this video made me realize that im romanticizing this other place along with a romanticized version of myself that doesn’t ever feel lonely. So maybe the place im living isn’t the problem
I lived in Amsterdam as well as in Utrecht, Glasgow, Frankfurt and now in Bordeaux. I've felt lonely in all of these cities. But the city I, even today, associate with a rather deep rooted nearly existential loneliness is Amsterdam... I don't know if it was my age (beginning of my 20s and feeling totally lost) or if it's something to do with the city... But somehow the brown colours the vibe of the city..the vibe of the people inspire some kind of isolated feeling in me.
@@cristinavanputten9812wow..I'm 47...I moved to Amsterdam in my 20s to study and I felt lost too, depressed even. I feel married to Amsterdam. I cried when I moved to country side during lockdown and I moved back to an extensive apartment but great area by the water but...I am considering to move to Spain. Sell car, rent cheaper and work fully remote and maybe heal from tough years. I'm scared and I know I will have ups and downs anywhere but it will also bring new energy and who knows more light and sun will help I also had long term symptoms from covid vaccinations, which can look like a burn out Maybe off topic but many ppl told me they have been feeling less fit and depressed after they had vaccinations. Amsterdam is in my heart but I keep feeling a pressure. It's very double sided. When I lived in the countryside ( Fryslan) I felt insignificant. People told me: if you could not get used to Fryslan then why would you feel at home in Spain..well Spanish environment is more uplifting then cloudy Fryslan.
I also live in Amsterdam. What I would strongly recommend to people is to try things like salsa classes. Everybody starts at zero and it's a great way to make new friends and meet lots of new people. It surely helped me!!
Loneliness to me feels like I'm not truely accepting the fact that I'm not happy with what I have at the moment. I mean that I have romanticized a certain situation or place and expected great things from it, only for it to be okay. In my mind it was supposed to be awesome, but that's not the reality. My mind will go in overdrive about what is wrong. Self blame and searching for answers is the result. But ultimately I think it's about accepting the situation you're in and making the most out of it. Accept that some things aren't as great as you hope they will be and be okay with that. Just move on to the next thing and do what feels best to you, instead of chasing what something could be. It's more about truely listening to yourself.
I born in Amsterdam and live in the city and live my life alone....people change nowadays and everybody doing their own thing.....with all social media everybody is so called busy.....i have no tv, social media and live in the moment......a lot of people but always alone......before Amsterdam was not like that
It always seems like everyone in amsterdam has some sort of social community.. as if it's easy there in comparison to where I'm from up north. I think it depends on social skills and the kind of person you are? I mean I know I just don't feel the vibe with everyone. It has to be a specific kind of person
@@nj472 Yes it depend on many factors like age, intrest, person etc...i am 44 now and born and live in Amsterdam in the city so see the different in years....people change, world change and with all social media and internet people busy with own benefits....no interaction or deep connections.....stuck in the system/ ratrace .... But i know that every person and situation is different and changes so i think its how you deal with it.
@@chirovandenbos2339I hope you are happy anyway. I was also born in Amsterdam but not raised. We lived in a small village in Broek en Waterland. I returned to Amsterdam at age 19 for study and never left except 2 try outs elsewhere in NL. I live near the Ferry, by the River. I wouldn't want to live in center anymore. Wishing you happy days to come. You are still young.
@peaceofmindofpeace1650 Hoi hoi, ben gelukkig gelukkig met mezelf maar ben Amsterdam/ Nederland ontgroeid en heb er niks meer mee. Geboren Amsterdam en woon nu Westerpark. Prima voor nu maar wil uiteindelijk back to basic en meer rust en uit het systeem of een combi van. Groetjes,
hiii 💕 first of all, this was so beautifully filmed, edited & put together !! such a relatable topic that i've done a lot of reflecting on myself!! I think the key for me, which you pointed out, is courage :) having the courage to reach out to others, the courage to show up, the courage to be yourself, it slowly invites more authentic connection into your life i've also found when i show up as a version that's not genuine (ie. i'm trying to fit in & not being authentic) i feel lonely regardless if i'm surrounded by friends/community or not. self-love & courage to be myself has really helped me feel less lonely in this world
This is such a great video! So cool that you organized this meet-up. I would’ve loved to be there! Can really relate to those things you said in the video. ALSO: your content is done so nice. The shots , your perspective on things, your openness. Keep it up! Love it! Let me know when you’re in Berlin! Would love to have a chat:)
Bibi this was sooo beautiful!! I looove the flip from beginning to end. Lonely to community. Question: do you script your videos after you’ve lived them? Do you journal to process? Your stories have such clarity AND also the hard in between moments, so I’m curious how you build your script. Sincerely, a fellow sensitive soul who is itching to express myself on video, too.
Thank you so much!!! I do indeed script after i lived the experience, sometimes i journal but to be honest im not suuper consistent with it. Thanks sm again🥹❤️
Come over to Scandinavian Embassy café in de Pijp neighborhood and join our team! You’ll be able to work some shifts and at the same time connect with people in the city. :)
I live in Amsterdam....I moved to country side after a traumatic experience. I lived in countryside for 10 months but missed Amsterdam. Moved back. Happy but also alone. I lived in Amsterdam for 20 years. Currently thinkng to emigrate to Spain. I know we take ourselves everywhere but it's always good to try new things.
I was looking for this comment!!! I just recently moved to Amsterdam specifically The Netherlands from Canada. I grew up in The Netherlands so I missed it and since I was dissatisfied with Canada, I thought I would find happiness and fulfillment coming back. However I feel really lonely since coming back, I think God is trying to tell me that it’s not the place that will give me fulfillment but it’s Him. The only time I ever felt such peace and fulfillment was when I was very close to Jesus, so why do I keep trying to find that fulfillment in locations, people or hobbies when the answer is staring me right in the face.
In the beginning of this vid i wrote that i didnt understand what people are complaining about and posted “just go make a community yourself then… and now i see that the vid ended like that.. amazing! Btw i have a feeling that especially women have this “loneliness” problem. Or are maybe less afraid to reach out and talk about it.. im wondering.
Amazing ! I would like to join you , am also creative, based in Amsterdam, on my side also expat so you can imagine the loneliness feeling it is something I do have to deal with, almost daily... and a community is also what I would need ❤
I love your audio girl ! So crispy! Can you please tell me how do you that? i am using adobe premier pro and a rode wireless go ||, but they never get like yours
Omg thank you!! I used the wireless DJI (first edition) in most shots. I sometimes like to mess around with 'audio repair' in Premiere Beta, when i feel like the audio is messy
@@acebutter9241 Sure, but having a partner becomes more and more important as we age. People hang us less as friends in their 30s and 40s than how they used to do it in their 20s, family becomes more important.
@@yogut28 yeah I know. I'm just saying you can still have friends you visit and call. I know because I'm married myself. Family is most important but that doesn't mean you can't have both family and friends
Brussels is same or worse.Everyone comes here to find a job in the E institutions. Very competitive. No real friendships among expats. A lot of gossip, superficiality, racism and exploitation: precarious jobs same interim agencies scams. Expensive rentals and scams also. As a result, many people leave completely broken down.😢
waw I'm sorry to hear that !! I'm from Brussels and have lived here all my life. I can imagine having to work for the EU must be very competitive :( I am sure there are many good people as well in the international community in bxl. I've been thinking about star'ting some kind of volunteer job to feel more of a sense of community
The Dutch lifestyle is exactly this! Many people in the Netherlands have superficial groups of friends at best or no friends at all. The focus is predominantly on money, as the weather is grey and rainy for about 300 days a year so you cannot do many things outside of the house. Dutch culture is practically nonexistent or based on alcohol and drugs, the food is of low quality, and most people seem depressed due to the lack of Vitamin D among other factors. Of course, perception shapes reality, but certain factors like the poor quality of food, the relentless cloudy weather, lack of sunshine, and the generally dull Dutch lifestyle make it even more monotonous. The punchline is, if you can move to another country, just do it. Believe me, you will never look back at the illusion of living in Amsterdam that you once thought was a dream. Ultimately, the moment Dutch people come into some money, they leave for warmer countries like Spain, Greece, and South Africa. This proves that the only thing holding people in the Netherlands is money.
Yes we need love and warm connections. And sun. It's becoming very hot in south Europe but only for a few months. At least not clouds from November till February or more 😊
Dear, there’s a method that helped me (and still helps): you should plan every minute of your day, literally, write a schedule for every 30-mutes of your day and strictly follow it. For example: 9-9.30 a.m.-breakfast, 9.30-11 a.m. go to the canal/walking in the park, 11-12 a.m. sitting and drinking coffee, watching people, reading news, etc. And the trick is that you couldn’t run out of your schedule (which is the hardest). If you do run (everyone does), wright down and fix the timing (how long near each point of the schedule). Later you could analyse it. This helps to switch our psyche on the “plan” and keep it busy. 🌹
So sorry you feel lonely and this is so real for so many people! Just wanted to share that that depth you're looking for in life can only be found in Jesus He wants to fill that hole of loneliness in your heart 💗
probably because you chose the worst country in Europe. the Netherlands really is not as good as they say. the only thing holding me together here is my overseas bf & this car i bought as a project car. if i lost the car, there's no reason to stay in the Netherlands lol
The solution for this problem is not on the outside and you know it! You need to completely reset your mind and try new things which help you find peace and love inside of you.. like meditation, forgiveness, acceptation, living in the moment and spirituality... good luck!
![OhGeesy x Lefty Gunplay - What It Iz [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/L0yzW9t2ixk/mqdefault.jpg)
Loneliness to me is usually a sign that I’m not really in touch with my inner self ❤ once I focus on self love and my inner world I feel way less lonely. Doing things alone is not automatically the same as being in touch with your inner self. Being with people can still feel lonely if you’re not grounded in yourself. You can find companionship in hobbies, nature etc and a good community with people is a manifestation out of your own healthy companionship in my experience :)
Very true! Thanks for sharing your insights 🙏
I have realised this too. Loneliness is a mysterious feeling because it can really be helped by either connecting within or being with a warm accepting good group of people, or both but being alone and being with people can also exacerbate it if we're not truly connecting. I think you're absolutely right that it is important to always do the connecting within part because we can't always rely on finding like minded souls all the time.
@@katec9893 als je je eigen beste vriend wordt en en van jezelf gaat houden ben je nooit meer alleen en kun je ook beter echt contact met de mensen om je heen maken. duurde bij mij ook enkele jaren voor ik het echt snapte maar he ik ben pas 38 en mij is het gelukt! veel geluk met jezelf de rest van je leven, volgens mij ben je een leuk persoon om beter te leren kennen dus veel plezier daar mee🥰
the only one who will ever fill that void is God. new agers are being deceived, youre always chasing the next thing; the next part of healing, the next practice. because the devil doesnt heal, only God does. sure a few things do work, cause if they didnt nobody would try it. 2 Corinthians 11:14 “even satan himself disguises himself as an angel of light”. he makes everything seem so good, as if youre doing whats good and saving the world and giving you feeling different meaning by saying its “ cause youre and alien having a human experience “. he teaches about “inner self” and how “you are a god” “you are your own writer of your life”. this is all ego! lets remember why satan was sent to hell in the first place; he wanted to be like God. now he’s teaching all new agers that they are godesses. the devil works very hard, beware!
@@alecarrasquilloriveraSaying that we are god is the same thing as saying we are a part of god, which is also what christianity is about. Dividing is the work of the devil, my friend. As long as a belief isn't about infringing on someone else's well being, you should live and let live. Or don't, and you'll spend a lot of time fighting e-windmills.
I moved to Amsterdam last year and resonate a lot with your video!!
I just recently wrote an article about how "people can feel lonely even when being surrounded by familiar people"
and I also find myself so alive when connecting with strangers
maybe we can connect in Amsterdam sometime.
I live in Amsterdam too 😊 and I relate. I love spontaneous conversations with strangers.
The friends I feel myself with live abroad.
Feeling alone around people I think means you don't belong, in my opinion. Finding your community that you can relate to makes you less alone. We're living in an age of loneliness crisis. I lived in Seattle for 16 years, and they have a term called, " Seattle Freeze". It's hard to connect with people, as it's not the friendliest city, but people are nice. After 2 years I created my community that I can relate to and felt less lonely. I left and now looking for a new place to live; back to being alone again. Everything is temporary, and part of life. Nothing stays the same but change.
That's it. Our primary need is to belong. This need can vary from person to person but most people need to belong to one, a few or more people.
@@peaceofmindofpeace1650 very true
I just want to have friends again like in school, where you hang out everyday and share the deepest darkest secrets at sleepovers 🙄 I hate how we declared honest connection as childish and inappropriate because everyone is pretending they have their life together
believe me, u can still make these friendships as an adult ❤️❤️
Were all just longing for connection made me cry 😢. U know nowadays with social media It’s like a collective of loners.
true but there still are some very social people out there like me as an example make friends in seconds whenever im outside even if people are loners i always find ways to crack them egg im also from netherlands btw like her in the vid
I’m from Amsterdam originally.. I’ve always lived there: I’m currently in Thailand and just wanted to tell you that you’re editing and narrating is beautiful 🙏🏽💖 I’m not sure if I wanna move back to Amsterdam because of certain things I’m afraid I’ll miss but just wanna tell you how amazing your video is 💖🙏🏽
This was so well done 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Thank you🥺🤍
One thing I learn, location can revive and revitalise, but it never cures. Sometimes it's the crowd that makes us lonely, and Amsterdam is a crowded place.
Yes just like remote, quiet, desolate nature can make me feel alone too.
I think I need a small town near a big city but also close to nature.
Wow.. exactly what Micael said about meeting strangers is the fun part but actually developing deeper connections is what I really struggle with. Good storytelling❣
Same here 🥺
i don’t understand why i should want to connect with anyone at all…. no one has been worthwhile
“If today was the last day of your life, would you want to do what you’re about to do today.” -Steve Jobs
Mooie video🩷 Ik zou willen zeggen: Geef het de tijd, met de jaren leer je steeds meer over jezelf en dit soort gevoelens. Je vergaart vanzelf een soort "toolbox" om hoe hiermee om te gaan. En je doet het al super!🙏
I think you are not really alone in life because there is nature, art, etc that is like being with someone or a group of people. I love being a loner because I find life in nature and the arts. Keep going. Your feelings are valid.
What a great video, super arty too! I am born and raised in Amsterdam and I have lived abroad as well.I do feel like we creators live a major part of our lives in isolation where we find ideas and utilize this energy to create whatever we’re aspired to at that moment.But then again I get inspired by other creators as well. You’ve handled your loneliness like a G in my opinion for the fact that you came up with the idea of hosting a walk for creators. That’s such an underrated idea 👏🏿. I will def stop you for a quick convo if I see you passing by here in Adam and if I recognize you of course lol ☮️&💜
I also lived in the NL and felt lonely most of the time even though I had friends. I feel like people there are way too superficial and only about fulfilling their lifestyle, rather than making meaningful connections.
I recommend you spend some time in South Europe or South America where it’s so much easier to connect, as people are much more open… and the weather is actually good 😊
I'm so happy to read this bc I'm thinking to move to Spain. I am Dutch and by now my only friends are in my phone and they are in US, Brazil and Eastern Europe. I only seem to be myself and accepted by people abroad and I get along with dtch ppl but mostly it's just the passants
I often feel like Dutch ppl ( not all) are judgmental and shortminded or envious.
Working from home was heaven to me I suffered from nasty games in office.
I left the job after 14 years sold my house after a traumatic experience of being assaulted there.
Now in a conformable but very expensive rental apartment and my plan is to sell my car quit rent and find remote work and rent cheaper in Spain and leaving this area and pressure vibes behind.
Pressure is everywhere bit palmtrees and maybe different culture could help and after working and adapting for years live more flexible and not force myself in a pattern killing my smile and life flow.
@@peaceofmindofpeace1650 have you lived abroad before? It is a unique experience, I think you should go for it and leave it all behind, at least for a little while. Although I can imagine it's difficult to find a job... but this is the case almost every where nowadays is my feeling.
I really wanted to love my life in the Netherlands, I even learned the language up until fluency. Still, making meaningful connections was so difficult. And the country feels so monotone, it really feels like the game 'Sims'. Everyone is the same, same hobbies, same travel destinations, all the cities look the same... and expensive housing, but salaries meh. I am also thinking about going to Spain for some time and simply enjoy life. Or North America... I hope you will do it! Life is too short, we need to do what we enjoy !
I moved back to Amsterdam after 13 years on a volcano island
I am happy
The volcano is in me
I missed inner fire
Now it is in me, almost all that I was searching outside of me
I came back with guitar and song from the heart. And painting desire. And massage skills. And the most precious asset: gratitude.
Like the sun shining through your bedroom.
Community is needed. Which needs sustained presence. Art of sending and receiving. Organically 🙏🏽
Mastering loneliness is like understanding you've never been lonely, you just accepted others to draw from you that which belongs to you.
Congratulations, you're on the way to develop boundaries with others and in the process become an adult.
Beautiful video, I also strongly feel in today's society we are really individualistic. I see it also in companies. teams operating as islands unable to work together with others. We miss community, togetherness
Yes, I often felt small mindedness in companies. As if we all have to act and be the same way to conform, even if the image is: diversity and respect, integrity 'building bridges' etc.
Dope! I'm a creator from Amsterdam, love the idea of creating a community around this out here! Let's gooo.
The weather sucked here in Amsterdam!!…BUT it seems we are in for some good weeks of sunshine and that’ll cheer you up for sure! Same goes for me! Amsterdam is home 🏠
Hey! This is the first video of yours that I watched, and I LOVED IT. You’re such a great storyteller, and all the components fit perfectly together. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing. I relate alot to feeling lonely and thinking moving somewhere is gonna fix it all lol. Glad I’m not the only one 💀
Such a great subject, in love with your style of story telling, cannot wait for more ❤
Thank you so much❤️!!!!
Interesting! When my rental contract ended this year i found myself asking: why stay in Amsterdam? My answer was: because there's life everywhere! I also went looking for a house in a small (previously) working class neighbourhood in Haarlem, where people still say hi to each other. Now i wonder why i prefer to live in anonymity with 1 mln people around me, compared to living in a much smalle community where people actually know each other... I haven't figured it out yet. All i do know is that until a few hundred years ago communities were rarely any larger then a few hundred people...
Today I walked in a beautiful park in Amsterdam Noord and a woman was walking passed me and it felt weird to not say hi so I said hi ( I'm a woman btw) she was eating so perhaps that was the reason lol but she didn't say hi back and I felt so stupid but on the other hand I often have spontaneous chats with ppl.
Another woman said good day in the same park with a smile so jeah.
It's obviously less common in the city to greet when you pass eachother.
You probably are not in great company and that is why you rather choose to be alone. ;) this is a typical twenny phase. In the past I could relate to this. Its the dynamic in friendships and values that is also undergoing a metamorphosis.
Adam is a lovely city, but you will get to bond with the city as a love and hate relationship “het is ingewikkeld”.
Exactly.
Find the spots where many people go, like meet fun expats at Mezrab, storytelling theatre. The audience is open and warm. Join toastmasters, or other clubs. Learn Dutch, to expand your options. Go train improv theatre to improve social skills. Etc.
Many Dutch people who are living in Amsterdam, like me share these feelings I believe.
I used to be very lonely and severely depressed, s-- attempts and harming myself, having to take heavy meds to feel okay. Now I have been married for almost 5 years and it healed me. I have a best friend at all times. I feel happy. I feel complete. I’m not depressed anymore. I wish this opportunity to anyone. Btw I’m a 27 yr old female. :)
I dont understand how Amsterdam can be your dream city in this whole universe and this is from a Dutch person, Amsterdam is cool for a day, but full of tourist and most people that work in Amsterdam live 10-30 mins from Amsterdam, because the city is just poopy. Also, the Netherlands without sun is probably the worst weather ever, being alone is fine, but you need to feel alive while being alone and the Dutch weather only gives you negativity, that's why a better place would be either Spain, Portugal, Italy ( Paris is a nice city, but still cold ) so go to the south.
Having friends/family/community to bond with + having the sun with you = beautiful life
Thanks for another encouraging comment since I'm Dutch and deciding to move to Spain alone. Atm applying for a job in NL.
If I'm not invited for interview I will go for Spain. It's hard bx zi just found seemingly genuine love but we agreed that our love will find it's way and he wants to join me.
I think I have to jump. Someone said: yes but you have a house here. What if it fails and you want to come back to NL?
Well what's the alternative? Working for my 1580 eur rent? I came here to rent for one year then left my job after 14 years after unfair games.
So now I can fight my way back for succes and to have a 'good job' or work freelance, lower salary but in cheaper Spain.
My neighbor left to Portugal bc he was fed up with the clouds.
I don't live in the centre. I live near NDSM.
I do like the area but it was fun for 3 years.
lonely girl from amsterdam here! i moved years ago from new york with my family. i have no friends it sucks, but i also kinda love it..
Achieving a goal then not feeling happy has of course disadvantages but also one huge advantage:Looking for that in life which is real. That is not career, parties etc. But love or true connection with people. Having said that, it is true that Amsterdam/and Netherlands can be a lonely place also for locals. I work in the hospital and I see many people who are lonely. That is clearly a defect in Dutch society but you can find your way around is by joining sports clubs, join community etc.
Thanks for sharing this actually, it takes a lot to one share you're lonely and two share you are lonely with the world.. Some really good remarks, nice video editing too:)
I have just watched this video...and now I feel less lonely. I have signed for that creators' walk and talk for the same reason. Longing for a community❤
Thankyou for making this video🥹 I actually live in amsterdam and have been dreaming of moving away, genuinly believing ill be so much happier. But this video made me realize that im romanticizing this other place along with a romanticized version of myself that doesn’t ever feel lonely. So maybe the place im living isn’t the problem
I lived in Amsterdam as well as in Utrecht, Glasgow, Frankfurt and now in Bordeaux. I've felt lonely in all of these cities. But the city I, even today, associate with a rather deep rooted nearly existential loneliness is Amsterdam... I don't know if it was my age (beginning of my 20s and feeling totally lost) or if it's something to do with the city... But somehow the brown colours the vibe of the city..the vibe of the people inspire some kind of isolated feeling in me.
@@cristinavanputten9812wow..I'm 47...I moved to Amsterdam in my
20s to study and I felt lost too, depressed even.
I feel married to Amsterdam. I cried when I moved to country side during lockdown and I moved back to an extensive apartment but great area by the water but...I am considering to move to Spain.
Sell car, rent cheaper and work fully remote and maybe heal from tough years. I'm scared and I know I will have ups and downs anywhere but it will also bring new energy and who knows more light and sun will help
I also had long term symptoms from covid vaccinations, which can look like a burn out
Maybe off topic but many ppl told me they have been feeling less fit and depressed after they had vaccinations.
Amsterdam is in my heart but I keep feeling a pressure.
It's very double sided.
When I lived in the countryside ( Fryslan) I felt insignificant.
People told me: if you could not get used to Fryslan then why would you feel at home in Spain..well Spanish environment is more uplifting then cloudy Fryslan.
Loveee 🥹 so honored to have been part of this one ❤️
Aaah it was youuuuu!! I thought bibi cloned herself at first hahah
I was so lonely in the Netherlands for five years then I moved away and I feel so happy connected with community and with a function in society!
may i ask where you live now? :)
@@naulietje paris darling!
I also live in Amsterdam. What I would strongly recommend to people is to try things like salsa classes. Everybody starts at zero and it's a great way to make new friends and meet lots of new people. It surely helped me!!
❤So lovely 🥰 this message is BEAUTIFUL and very nice comments.
That’s the way dear people connect with each other 💞🙏
I really relate to this. Thank you for sharing, makes me feel less alone
I love love LOVE your style of editing! And your voice sounds very soothing
Thank you so much!!🥹
Loneliness to me feels like I'm not truely accepting the fact that I'm not happy with what I have at the moment. I mean that I have romanticized a certain situation or place and expected great things from it, only for it to be okay. In my mind it was supposed to be awesome, but that's not the reality. My mind will go in overdrive about what is wrong. Self blame and searching for answers is the result.
But ultimately I think it's about accepting the situation you're in and making the most out of it. Accept that some things aren't as great as you hope they will be and be okay with that. Just move on to the next thing and do what feels best to you, instead of chasing what something could be. It's more about truely listening to yourself.
Great channel, has a bit of a Life of Riza feel to it.
I born in Amsterdam and live in the city and live my life alone....people change nowadays and everybody doing their own thing.....with all social media everybody is so called busy.....i have no tv, social media and live in the moment......a lot of people but always alone......before Amsterdam was not like that
It always seems like everyone in amsterdam has some sort of social community.. as if it's easy there in comparison to where I'm from up north.
I think it depends on social skills and the kind of person you are? I mean I know I just don't feel the vibe with everyone. It has to be a specific kind of person
@@nj472
Yes it depend on many factors like age, intrest, person etc...i am 44 now and born and live in Amsterdam in the city so see the different in years....people change, world change and with all social media and internet people busy with own benefits....no interaction or deep connections.....stuck in the system/ ratrace ....
But i know that every person and situation is different and changes so i think its how you deal with it.
@@chirovandenbos2339I hope you are happy anyway. I was also born in Amsterdam but not raised. We lived in a small village in Broek en Waterland. I returned to Amsterdam at age 19 for study and never left except 2 try outs elsewhere in NL. I live near the Ferry, by the River.
I wouldn't want to live in center anymore.
Wishing you happy days to come. You are still young.
@peaceofmindofpeace1650
Hoi hoi, ben gelukkig gelukkig met mezelf maar ben Amsterdam/ Nederland ontgroeid en heb er niks meer mee.
Geboren Amsterdam en woon nu Westerpark.
Prima voor nu maar wil uiteindelijk back to basic en meer rust en uit het systeem of een combi van.
Groetjes,
hiii 💕 first of all, this was so beautifully filmed, edited & put together !! such a relatable topic that i've done a lot of reflecting on myself!! I think the key for me, which you pointed out, is courage :) having the courage to reach out to others, the courage to show up, the courage to be yourself, it slowly invites more authentic connection into your life
i've also found when i show up as a version that's not genuine (ie. i'm trying to fit in & not being authentic) i feel lonely regardless if i'm surrounded by friends/community or not. self-love & courage to be myself has really helped me feel less lonely in this world
This is such a great video! So cool that you organized this meet-up. I would’ve loved to be there! Can really relate to those things you said in the video. ALSO: your content is done so nice. The shots , your perspective on things, your openness. Keep it up! Love it! Let me know when you’re in Berlin! Would love to have a chat:)
Bibi this was sooo beautiful!! I looove the flip from beginning to end. Lonely to community. Question: do you script your videos after you’ve lived them? Do you journal to process? Your stories have such clarity AND also the hard in between moments, so I’m curious how you build your script. Sincerely, a fellow sensitive soul who is itching to express myself on video, too.
Thank you so much!!! I do indeed script after i lived the experience, sometimes i journal but to be honest im not suuper consistent with it. Thanks sm again🥹❤️
Not being lonely means you have to make real connections with real people. It takes time.
Such a lovely filming/editing style
Come over to Scandinavian Embassy café in de Pijp neighborhood and join our team! You’ll be able to work some shifts and at the same time connect with people in the city. :)
Love this! Also, i live in de Pijp so thats so cool haha❤️
@@bibijanee yes come by anytime and ask for Saar :)
@@saardewolf this sweet. You are amazing Saar❤❤
@@bibijaneeI live in the pijp too . let me know if you wanna take coffee together . share stories
I live in Amsterdam....I moved to country side after a traumatic experience. I lived in countryside for 10 months but missed Amsterdam.
Moved back. Happy but also alone.
I lived in Amsterdam for 20 years.
Currently thinkng to emigrate to Spain.
I know we take ourselves everywhere but it's always good to try new things.
Thanks for sharing❤️
Such a beautiful video!
ahh beautiful format and i relate to this so much but in paris!!!
Crying from the start
I would love to join that walk + talk meetup if you ever organize it again 🥰
I live in Amsterdam. I don't feel lonely anymore because I walk with my Lord Jesus ❤ He loves you to❤you can also walk with Him❤🙏.
I was looking for this comment!!! I just recently moved to Amsterdam specifically The Netherlands from Canada. I grew up in The Netherlands so I missed it and since I was dissatisfied with Canada, I thought I would find happiness and fulfillment coming back. However I feel really lonely since coming back, I think God is trying to tell me that it’s not the place that will give me fulfillment but it’s Him. The only time I ever felt such peace and fulfillment was when I was very close to Jesus, so why do I keep trying to find that fulfillment in locations, people or hobbies when the answer is staring me right in the face.
@@skalias815 Amen❤️that's it, praise the Lord😃🙌you are searching for Him❤️the One and only😃❤️
This is the reason what is stopping me from being an online creative. I like my job because there’s people around me
Yes unless it's a healthy working atmosphere it can be nice.
In the beginning of this vid i wrote that i didnt understand what people are complaining about and posted “just go make a community yourself then… and now i see that the vid ended like that.. amazing!
Btw i have a feeling that especially women have this “loneliness” problem. Or are maybe less afraid to reach out and talk about it.. im wondering.
I did notice that men made friends easily in the gym. Becoming sport buddies, friends and also meet outside of the gym.
Oehhh, are there gonna be more walks? I would love to join!
Yes!! I don't have one planned yet but i would want to organise more!
Amazing ! I would like to join you , am also creative, based in Amsterdam, on my side also expat so you can imagine the loneliness feeling it is something I do have to deal with, almost daily... and a community is also what I would need ❤
I love your audio girl ! So crispy! Can you please tell me how do you that? i am using adobe premier pro and a rode wireless go ||, but they never get like yours
Omg thank you!! I used the wireless DJI (first edition) in most shots. I sometimes like to mess around with 'audio repair' in Premiere Beta, when i feel like the audio is messy
It's because what you need at this stage in life is a husband, not "friends", to spend your time with, and build a family.
You can have both.
@@acebutter9241 Sure, but having a partner becomes more and more important as we age. People hang us less as friends in their 30s and 40s than how they used to do it in their 20s, family becomes more important.
@@yogut28 yeah I know. I'm just saying you can still have friends you visit and call. I know because I'm married myself. Family is most important but that doesn't mean you can't have both family and friends
This is such an interesting video. Thank you for sharing!
Nicely expressed. 😎
beautiful just beautiful thanks for sharing and making this
Brussels is same or worse.Everyone comes here to find a job in the E institutions. Very competitive. No real friendships among expats. A lot of gossip, superficiality, racism and exploitation: precarious jobs same interim agencies scams. Expensive rentals and scams also. As a result, many people leave completely broken down.😢
waw I'm sorry to hear that !! I'm from Brussels and have lived here all my life. I can imagine having to work for the EU must be very competitive :( I am sure there are many good people as well in the international community in bxl. I've been thinking about star'ting some kind of volunteer job to feel more of a sense of community
@@gwencaster6485 that would be a great project!👏
@@gwencaster6485I thought about helping elderly people with their garden.
There are websites to even become someone's buddy for a walk etc.
Such a beautiful video 🥹🧚🏻♀️⭐️ good luck on your journey!
Thank you, that's so kind!!!🥹⭐️🌻
Aah so beautiful 🥹!!!!
Very nice deep and aesthetic video 💖
This is so beautiful, Bibi 🥹
Thanks Sabine🥹❤️!!
Which microphone are you using? The sound quality is so good!
Im using the wireless dji 1 and joby wave pro! Thank you❤️
@@bibijanee Thank you!
The Dutch lifestyle is exactly this! Many people in the Netherlands have superficial groups of friends at best or no friends at all. The focus is predominantly on money, as the weather is grey and rainy for about 300 days a year so you cannot do many things outside of the house. Dutch culture is practically nonexistent or based on alcohol and drugs, the food is of low quality, and most people seem depressed due to the lack of Vitamin D among other factors.
Of course, perception shapes reality, but certain factors like the poor quality of food, the relentless cloudy weather, lack of sunshine, and the generally dull Dutch lifestyle make it even more monotonous.
The punchline is, if you can move to another country, just do it. Believe me, you will never look back at the illusion of living in Amsterdam that you once thought was a dream. Ultimately, the moment Dutch people come into some money, they leave for warmer countries like Spain, Greece, and South Africa. This proves that the only thing holding people in the Netherlands is money.
Yes we need love and warm connections. And sun.
It's becoming very hot in south Europe but only for a few months. At least not clouds from November till February or more 😊
Youre very Beautiful looking and kind i hope u find ur person and ur group to enjoy time together .
Dear, there’s a method that helped me (and still helps): you should plan every minute of your day, literally, write a schedule for every 30-mutes of your day and strictly follow it. For example: 9-9.30 a.m.-breakfast, 9.30-11 a.m. go to the canal/walking in the park, 11-12 a.m. sitting and drinking coffee, watching people, reading news, etc. And the trick is that you couldn’t run out of your schedule (which is the hardest). If you do run (everyone does), wright down and fix the timing (how long near each point of the schedule). Later you could analyse it. This helps to switch our psyche on the “plan” and keep it busy. 🌹
how can i miss on this meetup :( when is it happening next time?
I dont have a next one planned yet! But i always post new dates on my ig story!
Beautiful video!
So sorry you feel lonely and this is so real for so many people!
Just wanted to share that that depth you're looking for in life can only be found in Jesus
He wants to fill that hole of loneliness in your heart 💗
Loved this bibi 🫶🏼 ben heel trots!!
Heee I am from amsterdam! Let’s meet! Don’t be lonely! Your always welcome with me o got connections in nightlife and know good people !
God loves you💞
Are you the betterhelp ad I keep getting on my fyp?
I think she is, because I keep seeing this on my tiktok often.
Yeah❤️
I am bouldering in Amsterdam every second day, if you wanna join :D
Come to Lisbon ! ❤
The longer you wait, the less eggs you have
I live in the Netherlands and feel lonely too
I also live in Amsterdam.....lets meet sometime whenever youre available. :-)
At least you found a house😂🙃
probably because you chose the worst country in Europe. the Netherlands really is not as good as they say. the only thing holding me together here is my overseas bf & this car i bought as a project car. if i lost the car, there's no reason to stay in the Netherlands lol
Beautiful
The solution for this problem is not on the outside and you know it! You need to completely reset your mind and try new things which help you find peace and love inside of you.. like meditation, forgiveness, acceptation, living in the moment and spirituality... good luck!
Lets be toghetter...
Thanks
Holland sucks
yayyy bb lesgoooooooooo
❤
Same.
Big virtual hug to you!!!
Join a club and you will get friends
nice
its not easy being a buitenlander there.
Amsterdam doenst have much nature, no wonder you are feeling disconnected.
Jesus is the answer❤️ He will fill the void that worldly things can’t
You need Islam.understanding that ther is a creator. And beloning to a community.
Komt goed kijk Meer najezelf
Western societies are lonely
* Northern western societies