The 5 real reasons why guys are lonely today
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- Опубликовано: 29 сен 2024
- My take on the male loneliness epidemic is VERY different. I think we all have a responsibility to address this very real issue, including women. Let me know if you agree or disagree!
My loneliness is tempered by my comfort in knowing that I will NEVER face a Divorce, Family Courts, and/or Child Support.
You lucked out brother. Wish I had better foresight
It’s not even loneliness if you have friends to hangout with or something, being outgoing is the key
But you could be missing out on something really good.
@@jeanr8359why do you say that? Not everybody has to be in a relationship
Amen
Refreshing to hear a woman speaking on the loneliness epidemic for men with something other than mockery or derision.
Honestly those who speak about the topic with mockery and derision are repulsive creatures and all men should turn away from them in disgust if they know what's good for them.
I fight loneliness by joining a fraternity. Join Freemasons, VFW, American Legion, Sons of AM Legion, etc.
Well she knows how to get the clicks, the likes & the subscribers. She runs a good con for a woman that left her marriage, children and got knocked up by the new guy with whom she hooked up. I feel sorry for the children. No doubt they would have preferred to have grown up in a home with two loving parents. But no, she started making the big bucks and that all went bye bye. "This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth,
And says, “I have done no wickedness.” Proverbs 30:20.
@@kyle1598hffgyfv I see what you mean, but those are all exclusive clubs. I am VFW life member, but only people who fought in a foreign war can join the VFW. I was a legionnaire for awhile too, still am, just have to pay my dues. I don't think you need a combat deployment to join that, but you do need prior service with an honorable discharge. Never heard of SOAML, and I don't know much about the masons except what is readily available, but I understand it's a pretty exclusive club too.
What kinds of clubs can your average man join/create? It wouldn't be too hard to start your own club gear it towards whatever your interest are and create your own fraternal organization, you could even get funding if you know how to write a grant and your club's mission qualifies for the grant.
@@christianelder4983 Most of this content is grift anyway. It's just modern dear abby's. Nothing new under the sun and all that. Thanks for info on the creator. Hopefully someone showed her the way to forgiveness. The right way, where you admit wrong, apologize, and then how did he put it? "Go and sin no more"
I am married, and I have never felt more alone. I’m just a retirement plan for the person who is supposed to love me. Divorce has never sounded so good. 😔
If it helps pal, you are not alone in that.
If that's how you feel then you should do it.
I hear you, I am in the same boat. Good luck with everything
As a formerly miserable married guy. It is absolutely worth getting divorced. I have two little kids with my ex.
When she left me and tried to take them so I would never see them again i nearly broke apart with grief. I lost 20lbs in two weeks from stress.
They were just babies at the time. It took almost 5 years to get divorced from her, and many times I thought i would succumb to stress and sadness.
But 2 years divorced, and with a 7 and 8yo i cant imagine doing it any other way. I am vastly more happy with my life now than i was being abused by her psychological manipulation and breakdowns and gaslighting.
And my kids are getting to see a much healthier father in their lives which is good for everyone. It will be hard, but have strength and you will prevail.
It’s always better on the other side of it. You just gotta get there.
@@Hellgrinde That took courage, and I generally find real courage tends to be rewarded. Glad you had the stones to do it.
Emily you are absolutely right; both men and women are lonely these days. Look at any online dating website and what you have is a bunch of lonely people.
Both men and women share responsibility for the decline in relationships. Shaming is bad from either sex.
What gets lost is the teamwork in many modern relationships; the empathy, support, commitment, communication and cooperation. Affection and intimacy is the glue that holds a relationship and the nuclear family together; it is the foundation of support and love.
So many videos on RUclips talk about; toxic masculinity, the falsity of modern Feminism, unreasonable expectations, body counts, inequity in a divorce, MGTOW, etc. These elements are certainly there in today’s dating/relationships and must be dealt with by a couple.
It all comes back to the "Golden Rule"; treat others the way you yourself want to be treated.
Your videos foster understanding between men and women. THIS is the root of the problem.
Your ego bypass (detachment) in explaining both sides is most refreshing. Thank you Emily. To each talent goes the job/task/mission.
I'm always amazed at how accurate your videos are.
Love your perspective on this, IMO the pressure from society to be the "every-man" but also being told that i was the root cause of all of women's oppression over the years (misogyny, patriarchy, male privilege), fucked with my head on a major level.
Then getting into a relationship and having my partner treat me that way as well can beeak a person, being looked at as part of the "worst oppressive group" in the world and then also being arbitrarily designated to regulating some other whole human beings emotions, wants, needs, and desires is setting yourself up for failure.
We need a society where men can actually say "yeah i don't like when you treat me like X, it makes me feel Y", and not have someone else interject and tell me what im feeling is just wrong "because i'm a guy, and guys just wouldn't understand".
I spent like 10 years being gaslight that i wasn't capable of feeling the same emotions that a woman can "because im a man/guy/boy", only to realize that i was raw dogging those emotions the whole time and i wasn't able to even be taken seriously, was privilege in the room with me then??
I appreciate this homie 🫂
way to many women don't even view men as human.
Its a good summary here, people just need to be a bit more reasonable with their expectations of themselves and others.
I like being alone as a man. And thinking about one less man for women, mean a woman more is single.....Well, that allmost make me like being alone even more. Women HATE being single. So enjoy all you strong independent women.
Who said women hate being single,
Women love being single ngl😂
I'm going to be the most transparent about this issue among anyone. This man pulled himself from the dating world because of the following reasons I always faced. They were selfish, self centered, only place value on their wants and needs, closet racists, women cheating or when they say they want to talk about "feelings" but actually don't. The emotions are never authentic and always being told things that are not true so they don't have to tell their true feelings or fears. I became tired of the one always paying, always the one giving in, always the one making peace, always the one trying to get a relationship that grows and isn't thrown away because of any disagreements.
That sums up my experiences. So to answer, I choose to be alone rather than be treated like crap.
I've never had a woman take accountability or reflect on her own behavior honestly. It's always deflection and blaming no matter the topic. Never experienced one admit they're wrong and usually have them telling me how to do absolutely everything and keeping score.
Whoa, you've really met the wrong women, haven't you? That's bad. Just don't believe all of them are like that.
@@jericoba it does not matter what all are like. It only takes a handful of evil to make a man avoid women forever.
@@Xander1Sheridan Whoa. I feel sorry for you. Perhaps one day you can see it differently. If not, take care.
@@jericoba I too have much the same experience. Just spent time with one who went near max. on poor behavior. She knew I was letting it go and it hurt. If she doesn't have morals that stop her, vs me calling her out, I am not going to do it with her. I am not here to structure and inform her regarding her treatment of others. She know everything regarding how to treat people and not treat people well. Her choices are not my responsibility to correct.
It is my responsibility to move away ;is my perspective.
@jericoba what the percentage of good ones out there? what are his odds of finding a good one vs getting crushed again?
It's exhausting avoiding toxic women.
But oh, so rewarding
Maybe for you but not for this guy!!! Any type of toxic behaviors exhibited around me automatically eliminates them. I'm out. BYE!!! That's right you
Girl I dated dumped me 2 days after I told her I had anxiety. "Youre a great guy I'm sorry". Women say they dont want men to supress emotions and to open up. But I'm going to avoid that topic next time.
You should open up about those things. Just not to a female romantic partner...
Women say they want a certain thing, then all of a sudden, they don't want it when they get it.
Their too f**ked up to know what they want, or what their doing.
A mistake was definitely made when the female brain was created!!
I opened up about my anxiety. We talked it through and she advised me to go see a psychologist. It worked out. (I'm fine now ~ well, better than used to be :D)
You should open up about those things. if those girls dumped you, then that's on them, not you. Not everyone will mesh well, and if they can't deal with someone else having issues then that's on them.
Keep trying and don't give up hope!
all women saying men should be open with emotions but as soon you show emotions they run away. its the typical doublestandard from these women. there are women you can be open, but they are rare. i only know 1 woman in my entire life i can be open. its a good friend i knew from studying. she has a wonderful husband and kids. but i dont, my wife just left me for having emotions.... so pathetic
Starting when I was around 12, my mom began teaching me how to take care of myself. She taught me to cook, clean, laundry, set the table, and just about everything else. She’s 82 now and has admitted that she needed the help back then, but she also saw the writing on the wall. She watched the beginnings of feminism and somehow knew what it would do relationships. I remain forever grateful to her.
🙏 Amen. Take care of your mother bro
Same here. I was even younger, when my mama started with me (about 7 or 8). Of course, I am divorced now. My son is 5, and I have already begun the routine for him.
Love hearing that your mom taught you these skills. I believe every year on kids' birthdays, kids should have to learn a new skill as part of their growing up. birthday
It's good for everyone to know how to do those things, should they ever wind up by themselves.
@@THEMAX00000👍🏅
I'm alone, I'm not lonely! Not dealing with a woman that can't control her thoughts, mouth, or actions, is a blessing! No drama, no double standards .
Well said, also I have more money than I ever had with a woman in my life. MGTOW!
yap alone and lonely can mean 2 things
Amen
No double standards is a big issue for me. Relationships are all about women exploiting immutable biological characteristics to behave in a way that would not be acceptable if some random microscopic events had gone slightly differently when they were conceived. I often try to analyse how women behave and think if that would be acceptable behaviour for a man. Just recently me and my mum were watching Fast and Furious. One of the girls in the movie said something like whoever wins the race can have me. My mum was asking me what the girl brings to the table. Sure she was attractive physically, but what would she actually contribute to the life of the winner? The point is that just showing up was a prize, because of her gender. If a somewhat short 20 yo virgin guy was at a baking competition and he said whichever of the girls wins can have him, then I think that would just be awkward and not convince anybody. I believe I can maintain much higher moral standards as a MGTOW. The reason is probably that other men prepared to lower their standards can sleep with a girl more easily. But I would rather stay on Virgin Media than accept double standards.
This is 100% the wrong take on the issue.
The fastest way to drive a woman away is to open up to her emotionally. You might as well put on a dress and makeup, and tell her you prefer men. You're allowed five minutes of emotion when your mother passes. That's it.
But since I'm the boss and not her, it's her problem and not mine.
Honestly, why worry about some sidewalk gig like that?
Ayup. My mother found me crying because I was bullied at school.
Her reaction= Stop blubbering and get to bed.
Wow. So much for maternal instincts
5 mins ?
I think my mother would look on me with disdain if I even show 1 min of emotion. Lol
Never cry in front of a woman.
You'll be lucky if she gives you 5 while minutes.
One of the best days of my life was when I realized and truly accepted that no one cares and no one is coming to fix, save, or rescue me. Happiness is an inside job. I'm grateful to God for revealing that truth to me.
I tell this to my sons. My brother went through a horrible, embarrassing divorce and he is finally realizing this and moving on.
As a man, I think it's a good idea to open up emotionally to your girlfriend at an early stage. If she decides she's no longer attracted to you, or if she tries to use it to hurt you in an argument, then you can jettison her before you waste too much time.
I agree with this sentiment.
Definitely; I have learned this from my life - better to be alone by yourself, than to be alone in a single sided relationship!
Well said my man. Well said.
Oh damn she speaks right out of my heart.
I've been in a 5 and a half year relationship with my (ex-) fiancé, opened up step by step. Most major mistake I've made was crying in front of her when we had such a big fight and she said she will leave me, kill herself etc. I couldn't handle the stress, Long story short she slept with a guy from her workplace several month behind my back and then was gaslightning me, that it was all my fault...
That's when I began to be afraid of opening up ever again. I'm so far, that I don't even dare to tell a woman if I like her... Tbh I feel miserable about that, but I can't help it.
I rather be alone, than make make myself vulnerable again and going through this kind of hell a second time.
All guys out there I wish you the best may you find peace, with or without a partner.
All the best to you mate.
Looks like you could use some Narc abuse recovery.
You've dodged a bullet right there. And if the guy from her workplace has any brains he'll drop her fast too.
@@andreaswiese8982 ditto
Walk it off, dude. Buddha said there is no trouble from which you can not walk away. Bible says it is better to kive alone in the desert than be with a troublesome woman.
I stopped dating about 6 years ago. This is the longest period I have gone in my life without being wrong in something I said, did, didn’t say or didn’t do, wrong for what I felt, wrong for wanting intimacy. Wrong for being a male, Wrong for working too hard, wrong for not working hard enough.
After 6 years of not having a person I cherish remind me how wrong I am for being me, I am beginning to like not feeling perpetually inadequate.
I find I am no longer willing to be considered the cause of pain or anger or suffering in a person I cherish. So, as much as I have always loved and valued the woman in my life, I shan’t inflict myself upon them any further. I miss them… but I console myself with the knowledge that at least none of them are having to suffer the love, devotion, or support I offered, but which they could not find it in them to appreciate.
I’ve personally experienced that displaying emotion in front of a woman completely changes how she views me. Even my own sister. I will never do this again. The only thing it taught me was that I’m truly on my own in this world.
Well, it's actually worse than that. Some people are actively hunting you
Nah, not all of them are like that, believe me. The shit is that nowadays too many of them are insanely egoist and unable to support their partner.
Spot on !
Glad to see you understood the reality! However long it took, at least you now have a much better understanding of the situation. Never try to open up to a girl if you want to sleep with her, or else you can open up to her but accept that she will marry someone else or stay single.
Learn to not give a fuck.... once you do that, you become strong as shit even if you are emotional on occasion. Hey someone like a friend died, lost a close family member, a pet got run over are examples.... Not a blubbering fool, but on the rare occasion. If a woman looks at you in disrespect because you have emotions... feel badly for them, and strong for you. You don't have to say shit to them, and better you don't, look at them with a blank look and just walk away with your head held high, and MOSTLY ignore their judgmental baloney. That judgement crap, is just showing who they are.... not who you are. Vulnerability is a great strength mixed with.... don't give a shit attitude, if you like me or not.
There is a difference in being alone and lonely. I’m alone all of the time, I’m not lonely. The most lonely I have ever felt was when I was married. Being single allows me to socialize on my own terms, so I’m not lonely. It’s about perspective and boundaries.
I am a woman and concur 100%...
I feel lonely when I'm in big groups. I love being alone.
Ditto that. I live on my own but I'm never lonely.
Absolutely!!
Same, never lonely, I am not a fan of people anyway and prefer to keep my distance from them.
Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 5-year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart , leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without her. Despite attempts to purge her from my mind, I remain haunted by her absence , feeling compelled to express my longing here .
Releasing your grip on someone you deeply care about can be a formidable challenge. I found myself in a comparable predicament when my 12-year relationship came to an end. Despite the odds, I couldn't bear to let her slip away. I exhausted every avenue to reunite with her, eventually turning to a spiritual advisor for guidance, whose intervention ultimately facilitated her return.
Incredible! Where did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with her?
Suzanne Ann Walters is the name of an exceptional spiritual counselor renowned for her ability to reunite you with your former partner.
Been there dude. This, I'm sure, will sound like back patting platitude, but you will get over her eventually and more than likely find the one. The pain seems forever and unbearable but truly, it does pass.
First of all we should not conflate the state of being alone with loneliness, because these days it is unfortunately far more likely to be lonely when in a relationship.
Amen
Been there, done that, they don't give out t-shirts.
I agree. A man can be surrounded by friends and family and be very lonely.
Not remotely. You might be in a crappy relationship, you might be forlorn, stressed out, feel completely unloved and unappreciated, unsure of what to do, but if you co-habitat with a woman, you won't be lonely. More likely longing for alone time away from her.
Bingo.
Here is my top 5 reasons why men today are lonely.
1. Men today are afraid to approach women these days. We see other men labeled creeps or worse because of an unwanted approach. Especially in places like the workplace due to possible punishment.
2. the first point pushes more men to search on apps for love. These apps & the attitude of thier users are arguably the most damaging of my 5 points. Women notoriously over value themselves on these apps and only swipe right on the top 15 percent of men, leaving a MASSIVE amount of men feeling unseen, unwanted and alone. This leads to women having a flood of men of her choice in her inbox within a few hours of creating the account while men can hardly get a reply. Of course he cant get a reply... she has 8 other men in her dms, and ahen that happens ANY flaw you have becomes huge. You dont drive? well these 6 guys do. You have a bad childhood? well these 5 guys dont. You have an okay job? well these 4 guys have better jobs. Its like shopping for women. Its like begging for scraps for men.
3. Men do not have a social structure of support like women are born with. Both from outside groups and within the male comunity, nobody cares how our day was. We deal with stuff alone because we have to. Nobodys cheering me on, or calling me brave because Ive stuggled and survived. or comlimenting me in any shape or form. If a woman was crying on the sidewalk, everyone in a 30 mile radius would ask of shes okay. If a man was crying on the sidewalk people would cross the street and somebody would call the cops. and any time a man points out the lack of support, hes met with somebody screaming about the patriarchy and how that somehow means my struggles arent real and Im actually the one with the advantage... Im not some rich male buisness tycoon, Im a minimum wage employee with absolutly no advantages. that brings me to my next point...
4. So many women are so unwilling to even listen to the struggle men face and will immediatly attack a man for voicing them. how dare we have feelings and issues we cant solve alone am I right? "JuSt OpEn Up MoRe"
5. More and more men, every day dont have a single close friend (myself included) and nothing is harder than a man trying to make friends when he doesnt have any. Nobody wants to be your friend when your the weird guy by himself. So many girls just tell me to go out by myself to the bar or a restaurant and meet people like that but they are only seeing it from their own eyes. For a woman, sitting alone, making a new friend must be so easy. You have to beat off men with a stick, and girl groups "adopt" lonely girls fast.... that doesnt exists for men. We just sit there alone like donald glover at the end of the "sober" music video. And when it comes to possible future dates the thought is terrifying.... what if she asks me what I do with my friends?? Do I lie? or do I tell her I have no friends and wave that red flag? You cant win. Having no friends has a HUGE trickle down effect that nobody talks about.
Those are my top 5. Love the content Emily, but I gotta say your 5 points in this one feel like they are for men who are lonely but still have people in their lives and the loneliness epidemic is more about men who have nobody. No friends, No love interests, No social support. Hope you get to read this and feel free to use any of those points in a future video
Minimum wage is not supposed to be a career. Develop skills that are valuable to an employer. You will get paid more. If current employer does not value you, find one that does.
You would make friends by going out and doing something. I made friends by simply going to my local rec center and taking classes, I joined a sewing group, and I volunteered at my church. People are out there to meet and make friends with.
@@allanfarr easier said than done, but also not relevant to the talking point 😅
@@candycottrell6469 I live in the middle of nowhere and dont drive, so its not an option
#5 hit hard, thanks man
My distrust of women and hypersensitivity to manipulation has reached the level of paranoia.
Wow my ex wife… she pitched a fit if I went out after work with coworkers… calling me every 10 minutes asking when I’ll be home. A direct quote: “it’s called happy hour. Not happy two hours!” But when she wanted to go out with friends or her sisters I’d say “ok!” And I wouldn’t talk to her until she got home with a simple “ did you have a good time?” Of course she did because I allowed her to. 🤦🏻♂️ yeah kelly I’m talking about YOU! Not that she’s be watching a help channel since she never needed any.
Preaching to the church there fam!
Story of my freaking life..
Stay strong brother
Funny how we all live the same sh1t no matter the country.
Here in the UK it's a standing joke that men have to ask their wives' permission to go out fishing with their male friends, or down the pub for a few beers, and if they're over their "home by" time the phone starts to ring. Or you see men looking at their watches or a clock knowing they'll have to set off soon because "I told the wife I'd be back by 10". If the guy is going to be late, his friends tease him about what punishment he's going to receive when he gets home. It's like lslistening to a little boy knowing his mother will scold him for staying out for too long with his friends. Even though he's a supposedly grown adult man in his 40s or 50s with a successful business.
How’s your marriage going?
“Healthy vulnerability” is an oxymoron as far as men are concerned. Best to keep your feelings to yourself. Nobody cares except to leverage them against you.
Your feelings can be weaponised, usually by the one you share them with
Remain Stoic brothers
When it comes to women just remember..Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of public opinion!
What women say they want and what they really want are 2 separate things. Humans as a species have a tendency to project on to others. So a woman who wants a man to be vulnerable basically says she isn't.
Dax - To Be A Man. Song sums it up perfectly.
If you don't open up, you'll lose connection. Just don't be a whiny baby about it.
I have lived alone for 10 years since leaving a 25-year marriage. Currently on my sailboat in the Caribbean. I have learned how to be alone without feeling lonely. I can socialize as much as I want with other sailors, when I want. Otherwise I am more content than I ever was in my marriage. There are few things worse than sleeping next to an angry woman. I will never remarry.
I came out the other end of a 35 year marriage feeling better and more comfortable than I ever was when I was married. I never left because I thought I would be lonely. I’m not lonely I’m happy the only problems or issues I have to solve are my own and since I don’t go looking for them they’re far and few between. My only regret is I didn’t get out sooner even our 2 sons say I made the right choice.
"There are few things worse than sleeping next to an angry woman." Thank you! I couldn't sleep with a woman who bitched at me for a couple hrs, took a 1/2 hour off and then wanted to make love. #Nowayray.
the beauty of sailing is you see the good side of people and don't have time to see the bad side! here today gone tomorrow!
Solitude is what you're describing.
Never married, but since I split up with my girlfriend, life became 99,7% easier and I also felt more lonely with her than afterwards. It was my only relationship I ever had and I'm not interested to have another one. However it brought forth a child and I forced shared parenting through, I still have a girl in my life but no relationship. I'm not that alone.
A man doesn't cry because he is weak, he cries because he's been strong for too long.
I agree and I am in that situation.....I cry a lot lately as I have been doing my best to be too strong for too long!
But she'll still say you're weak. Do your crying alone. DON'T EVER let a woman see you cry.
Profound statement (from a woman)
Good luck convincing people of that when you cry in front of them
x 1000 brother!
Whenever I opened up, showed emotions and vulnerability, it was used against me. So why keep doing it at all.
In my opinion, the main blame is on the rise of social media and dating apps. Both are biggest mistakes of humanity.
I agree. People (especially women) don't realise how much time they waste on them. But MOST IMPORTANTLY, nobody has any idea how much social media warps our minds. It's like you're always looking at "perfect lives" of happy moments caught on camera when in reality, life is nothing like that. There are ups and downs and it is NORMAL. But of course, no one posts the bad memories of them online. The only bad memories we normally see on social media are deaths of close ones.
This also applies to dating apps.
I agree. As a woman I gave up on dating apps. I’m fine living alone and not being criticized. I lived with a guy who used to pick on how I would load the dishwasher since it was his house. I haven’t had a dishwasher in years.
My choices are dating apps or not dating.
I don't use apps so I don't date.
My wife of 39 years died in 2014. Since then i've lived alone. It's important to realise that "living alone" is not the same as "Living with loneliness". I like my own company. I get bored at times but not often. I like the peace and quiet. I like doing what i feel like doing any time of the day. I like not having anyone saying "You shouldn't eat that - you should have salad instead" I can't imagine having another woman in the house, and the whole notion of learning to date is an area i dont want to have anything to do with. It's been 53 years since i went on a date and i wouldn't even know what to do any more. And all the women on youtube and elsewhere telling us how to behoave on a date or how to live with a 2020s woman just make me think, "No its all too hard and i"m not all that interested in having another woman in the house anyway"
I love the freedom of being single and I've been single for decades.
I'm sorry for your loss, my friend.
I am also sorry for your loss. I don't think you would be interested in dating women now-a-days anyway. Many modern women have bought into this femenist crap where they see you more as a competetor than a partner. These femenist women try to assert their "equality" with men by trying to act like men, and that ususlly doesn't work. That failure causes them to become frustrated and their femenist friends counsel them to divorce their husbands for someone better, richer, more handsome, etc, (read hypergamy), After doing the singles bar scene for awhile, and racking up the body count, they realize their error, but by then it is too late, and any prospects for marraige quickly evaporate and they join the ranks of women complaining that there are no good men out there.
Salad is what my food eats. 😝
The fact that lesbians have by far the highest rate of divorce tells you what you need to know about how realistic many women are when it comes to expectations of their partners and how approximately half the time when women want to get divorced its because they're crazy/delusional about this and not because its something their partner is actually doing wrong.
There's a factoid worth remembering and share widely..."Lesbian's have by far the highest divorce rates". No man would ever doubt it. Cigar for you McBlammy
This is indeed a statical fact. Thanks for sharing.
it's said 70% of divorces are initiated by women, and I believe it.
Men are supposedly the ones who can't deal with commitment or talk things out and women are all about commitment and talking things out. Yet women initiate 80% of divorces.
I learn something new every day
Married 23 years and very lonely. Basically CHOOSING the lonely road.
Wife won't look into herself and see what she is doing to me. No accountability, just want want want from me but never giving. Can't stand the drama and the arguments.
It use to be that women would complement men and be their companion. Now it's competition agains us.
Take steps before she does brother
I was in a 5 year relationship with a woman just like this. She morphed into this selfish monster. My future would’ve been your life. She ended up cheating on me and leaving me for a 60 year old married man. I find it a blessing.
I hope you can get out of this and live life for yourself.
Ive been alone for a decade+ but ive never felt lonely. Quite the opposite in fact. I have a great sense of freedom and inner peace. I can go days, if not weeks without uttering a single word, and the thought of changing that honestly sends chills down my spine. Im quite content sitting on the sidelines of life and watching the world pass by.
I've been watching your videos for quite a while, Emily. I really enjoy them. As a single woman, I see these videos as learning tools for preparing me of what to do and what NOT to do in a relationship with a guy - especially in today's dating world.
Please, keep them up!
Here's my number one tip: keep your eyes open and be friendly/sweet
You will attract a very kind man if you do that.
I'd tell every woman I could if I could.
I appreciate your tip. And, I'll take note of your tip.
I don't know you, personally, but I think you can do that - give this kind of advice or tips to every other woman, as well.
@@SartorialisticSavage65
Indeed she is helpful to talk about that
you need to find a reliable hard working god fearing, not religious, man, with morals, old morals..regardless of income. life does not revolve around income, its family,. teaching, education,of reality, not bs.. ausie.. been there done that, 20 yrs lost of life with bs women gold diggers.. but, its there lose,,not mine.. im happy,,there not..
I would keep an open mind when you are "learning" here, because she mentioned toxic musculinity, something which never actually existed.
If anything there's been a large presence of female toxicity, like shaming men for being emotional or perceived as being weak or not "manly enough"
If paternity fraud was punishable by jail time....
If adultery was punished by nullifying marriage...
If a provably false allegation resulted in jail time...
If women had to volunteer for selective service...
If women arent held accountable for bad behavior, this trend will result in catastrophe.
I'm learning to be okay with being alone and enjoying my own company. Was seeing a girl for a few months and I had to open up to her about a part of my life, due to my upbringing, and she went along and ghosted me. She ended up using me for validation and whatnot because she had gotten out of a relationship a few months ago and was doing court for child custody. That and the complete joke known as dating apps has pretty much pushed me away from it in general. Messaging people who "like" or "match" with me only for them to leave me on read or unmatch is like... damn. Being introverted is also making meeting people/socializing difficult.
As for being emotionally available, the girl I was in a serious relationship back in 2020, broke up with me a month after my mom dying due to me grieving over my mom dying.
If that's gonna be what my experiences will be like going forward, I'm fine with being alone, tbh.
I hope you’re ok man, my condolences about you mom. Some people can be real harsh, being single can indeed mean you’re not lonely at all and also you can hang out with friends more often aye
@@Kenny-ep2nf Thank you 😄
I'm doing alot better now. Been trying to process things that have happened recently as well as the past. I was actually telling my therapist that spending time with my friends and being there for my dad and sister will help a ton. My dad has Parkinson's and is retired, but helping him and my sister is pretty much a high priority along with working, enjoying my hobbies and working on being the best me possible.
I agree that people can be harsh. I'm learning to shrug it off and move on. There's really no benefit in holding a grudge, be resentful or whatever. Causes you to have a worsening headache more than anything.
Dam, that's cold.,but a bird never out flies its tail.Mark my word, she will have to pay the piper.( I'm sorry for ur.loss.)
I am sorry for your loss.
Sounds like you’ve dodged some bullets.
I was ghosted by a guy for over a week, so I deleted his number. He sent a message saying he was back home. I was like.... who is this? He said ... it's me, I had to go to Florida for a week for my uncle funeral. The problem is.... he never told me he was going anywhere or that anything had happened. I told him I was sorry to hear that and that he should have told me. I knew right then he would do that all the time after that..... so, I ended it right there.
I'm sure he will say I stopped talking to him because someone in the family died.... but it was really the fact he never told me and just left me hanging with no contact at all.
The end of my marriage was so painful that I don’t remember any of the happy times with my ex wife. She was the most miserable, contentious, and wretched person I ever met. I definitely did things wrong too. It’s just sad that a kid had to be involved.
As much as it would be nice to get love and support from a girlfriend or wife, I can't help but see that as high minded idealism. Todays world is far too reactive and emotional for most people to even consider, let alone take the time to, empathising with the other person. Most men who express vulnerability will often find their relationships breaking down and their vulnerabilities exploited to harm or manipulate them. I can't speak for anyone other than myself, but the stories of other men seem to support this conclusion. I believe at the core of every hard-hearted man is the heart of a sweet and vulnerable child who just wanted to share his love and joys - until faced with the worlds cruelties.
Being alone is not the same as being lonely. You might spend time being lonely but eventually you get used to it and becomes being alone and its addictive. I can't believe the drama I used to tolerate as normal.
Great video.
exactly. at first i was afraid of getting into trouble in isolation. but as i geared down and started to make allowances for age frailty. things started making sense. i also have visions of me dying alone in my bed. hm. but that is a bogus fear. when you die, you die. actually i have been dead before; near death experience. what counts is if you can enjoy your life as much as possible. when i get an ache or pain or chronic problem, i actually find it comical. not at all what i expected. letting go is a total foil to drama. currently with the struggle people have just to make a living; a partner tends to demand too much; both directions. relying on a partner is not a good basis for a relationship. so learning to do for yourself should be a pre requisite for living together. i hope!
I never felt as lonely as I did during the last couple of years of my marriage. Once we divorced and I was on my own again that loneliness faded away
There have been times when I have felt lonesome - a transient feeling - but I haven't been lonely for years.
There's still a loneliness epidemic. U don't need to hide it
Im gonna resume my only time i was truly in love with a girl:
when i was 27 i dated the most beautiful girl at work, everything was great in the beggining until i noticed her lack of interest on responding messages or hang out, until one date night at the end of it she mentioned that she did not feel comfortable dating me anymore, that just destroyed me, i was putting sooo much effort trying to make her keep interest on me it was crazy, so i decided to back off and split up, almost 2 years later i started a new job and she was working there, she tried to flirt with me again many times but i was strong and say '''no, you made your desicion, respect mine now', moral of the story: always try to love yourself more than your partner, dont force something that is not meant to be and spend time knowing yourself and you will see how great of a guy you really are.
Actually, dude, you were trying to hard and making it easy for her. Women like a challenge. That's why she was losing interest. It's the nice guy effect. No worries, though, just keep that in mind for the next one! Stay frosty, bro.
She's probably crazy about you now, women love what they lose and when you ignore them
You’re lucky she wasn’t nasty and reported you to HR for harassment. That’s what a lot of them do nowadays.
I have been single for over 20 years since my last divorce, I am far from lonely. I choose to be single because I don't want to be with a "modern" woman. What exactly does a "modern" woman bring to the table except headache, heart ache and legal problems?
Many of us dont feel like we measure up and so we have just decided to not even try.
The west has unabashedly embraced gynocentrism and it is aggressively tearing the very fabric of society and families apart.
emily is doing this for your veiws which = her money she dont care she is part of the problem making money off sad people your terrible emily the worst of them all at least the women who do suck tell you not lie to you then use you that hurts way more emily and you know that...........
The problem is a lot/most modern western men do measure up. It is just women judge men on the wrong things eg: Height - Men have no control of it,and it tells you nothing about a man. While ignoring the things that should matter eg: Treat people well, just because it is the right thing to do.
@@wayneturner8575Women are attracted to what they're attracted to. Are males going to date ugly women? Probably not. We're not going to date short guys.
@@wayneturner8575 Spot on. But most women are too hypocritical to admit this embarrassing fact about their outdated stoneage mate-selection criteria.
Another reason contributing to mens loneliness is the fact that there is a growing trend among younger girls where they say: "I only date guys 6 foot tall and up"
I'm way over 6' an I can tell you, this is not some kind of easy answer. Women just keep moving down the line of their ick algorithm until they hit on something they don't like. It is an answer looking for a problem.
@@jcj6892 Ok but tall guys are almost always never single unless there fat or broke or ugly or small penis
This is true of women in their prime(ish), however they start to lower that as the wall approaches. Also, height isn't enough by itself, there is always a level of "edge" and looks that he must have. Put those together and the average good guy can kiss goodbye the hope of finding a younger virgin wife.
Nobody wants to admit it but it's true.
Especially thanks to filtered searching on apps which completely renders you invisible.
@@jcj6892 especially women ***
The attitudes of women have changed over the past 50 years. It is reflected in movies, novels, TV, etc. This aggressive/masculine/entitled attitude is being taught and reinforced in our educational institutions. Some men try to adapt and cope. Others turn their backs and develop other pursuits. The divorce rates and children with single parents tell us it doesn't work well. These women don't know what they are missing.
Westernized women.
Well said, totally right.
@@majesticmsfcno. Masculine= bad? Masculine =entitled?
When people keep repeating like sheep what they hear you end with feminism still brainwashing their crap in you. Yes some behavior are masculine but when you associate the two you end up give the idea, all is simple men s fault.
these xx.s won’t be missed. with any singularity to occur to them, no loss were registered incurring.
Social media hasn’t helped
My grandparents were together for fifty seven years in a stable, Christian marriage. That’s what I want, I’m not wavering because of contemporary tastes and neither should anybody else who wants the same thing.
Don’t compromise your morals and values, no matter how lonely and tough it gets some days, stay firm and true to yourself, everyone.
Hope you find that. I feel the same way as you.
I hope you find that.Thats what I'm looking for too👍💯💪
From a right-leaning, married, Christian woman third wave feminism is the worst thing to happen to the world. Women today disgust me.
Get your passport pal, and do not, do not, bring her back to the west. Good luck.
So you’re hunting unicorns in America, good luck!
Emily, you are right about everything but one thing. The vast majority of women says that they want 1 thing but they actually think another and want neither. Even worse, accountability is their kryptonite. Never apologize, never admit a wrong, always deflect.
You are speaking in absolutes brother.
Spot on
Both genders can do the same thing. I think it's wrong to just say that "all women are x way"...the same as it's wrong to say the same thing about all men.
@@PaulLefebvre ok but in which gender is this overwhelmingly common and in which gender is it extremely rare if not almost unheard of?
generalizations are only unhelpful when they're disingenuous.
@@LadislausMarguspa That's an excellent question. And I can't answer it. It does raise my curiosity though, whether any studies have examined gender ratios for such behaviour.
What I *can* tell you is that generally when scientists measure behaviours differences across groups, they ALSO regularly say that differences between groups do NOT predict behaviour in individuals.
#4. It's interesting that when men worked outside the home and the woman was the homemaker the domestic duties were less argued about. But it's women who decided to enter the work force and come home to domestic chores. NOTHING in the man's world changed except that now he has to do his role AND navigate her social experiment while being blamed for her double responsibilities. And so the system adjusted costs and taxes for a 2 income household- and there's no going back. Thanks, Feminism..
Youre forgetting anothet main cause for male loneliness... hypergamy and the fact that 85% of the women only have eyes for 10% of the men. I appreciate what you do, Emily. Thank you for trying to understand men and educate people.
The law of big numbers is relentless though and it means that literally 90% of these women will never get a partner. Thus either they'll relent (which is the better case) or bad things will happen to them such as spend the rest of their lives alone.
@@CoolKoonrelenting isn't a better option if they feel like they settled. You're in for a rough life if they don't respect you and you were the fall back option.
@@martyj_9 By "relenting" I meant that they'll start treating men in their lives with respect. If they won't then they're in for either eternal loneliness or abusive relationships.
That goes both ways.
Women can never face reality about this
Don't ever tell a woman a secret or express your emptions to them, for some day they will use it against you.
Learned that the hard way but thank god karma did her justice
💯
I actually had one ask me what my darkest secret was..... I full well knew that this was just to try and blackmail me at some point. From that point on it was like sleeping with the enemy. It took forever to get the monster out of the house.
That's true, listen to this advice! From the men who learned this the hard way, including me...
Boom 💥
I have been married for 14 years and, with exception of parenting my sons, I have been lonely married to a self indulging and emotionally vacant wife.
She's probably cheating on your and telling herself it's your fault.
My mouth fell open when she said women think men have to be more emotionally available.
When in reality, the opposite is true.
Being emotionally available is absolutely the quickest way to ending up completely alone and whatever women rejected you after you shared won't ever see you the same afterwards or ever see you as a sexual partner period. Some of what she has said in other videos was just pointing out things most men either knew or had thought about already.
She will lose respect for you immediately.
She’s got no idea
It's COMPLETELY a double standard.
What they're really saying is that they want men to be more emotionally receptive to their needs. But God forbid the "man" should ever open up and be vulnerable himself.
That part about communicating emotions hits hard. I couldn't tell you how many times I've been told how great it is that I want to communicate my emotions only for the same woman to immediately lose interest the moment she learns I've been through some serious stuff. I won't hide my emotions from a partner though, even if it that's the main reason I can't find one
What's even worse is they lie about things that turns them off or dont know about it until it happens. To me as a guy, it's like how do you NOT know? It's incredibly frustrating.
Just leave them bro, you’ll find the right one when the times right
Yep. The whole scenario is analogous to being stopped by the cops. Heed the Miranda warnings, as the cops are not there to exonerate you and if you talk to them, you are more likely to give them the evidence they are looking for to take you to jail. It’s a trap. Just like this “open up and be vulnerable” bit
Modern men are forced to choose. You can be miserable in a relationship or you can be single and face lonelyness. Lonelyness can be delt with. The lonelyest I ever felt was when I was "happily married". If you are an abusive man, you'll be shamed and hated, even by other men. A cruel woman is celebrated and supported, even by other women. There are way more cruel women than there are abusive men. Men are walking away because women are mean and hateful. Why would a man want that? Men can easily make it on their own. It just takes a change of attitude and focus. A man can find purpose without a women. He just has choose it.
As a man outside of my mom, I’ll never be unconditionally loved. I’ll only be loved on the basis that I can provide. And that alone makes me believe my decision to stay single is the right call. And just knowing the moment I’m not able to provide makes my value as a man plummet, I’d rather worry about myself. At the end of the day the only person I can count on is myself.
Absolutely correct. It was terrible to learn that after 32 years of marriage that I was only chosen to provide for her.
Absolutely right. Most women only love a man based on what he provides for her. In other words, shd is using and manipulating the guy. A very dark, twisted mindset
What about the kids? They would love you
@@lednevnik One of my 2 kids won't speak to me.
@@jimstand damn that's sad
What loneliness epidemic for men? It's the women I hear asking, "Where are the good men?" Men have discovered peace, and they are LOVING it!
Yeah. I have no problem with being alone, I get to do what I want. Are there certain challenging periods, sure, like Christmas and new years eve. But here is the thing, I'm alone, but I'm not lonely..... the oddity here is that usually when I feel loneliness it's in the company of others, as I'm reminded how narcissistic everyone has become and almost nobody wants to listen or even lets you finish the sentence of what you were busy saying. THAT is when I feel loneliness, not when I'm all by myself doing whatever I want to do.
@@stijnvdv2Man, I’ve noticed that too…people talking over one another, not taking turns. Is this really a new thing? I sincerely try to let others finish their thoughts, statements, etc before I speak. Sometimes it doesn’t always happen, and I have to excuse myself. But yeah, it does seem like what you said.
Yup.
They also discovered destinations like Thailand
Where have all the Good Men Gone ??? You Friend Zoned us all, Twenty Years Ago !!!
the particularly silly part of women's response on this issue that the guys in these studies that are "lonely" aren't even the guys these women are angry at. They're just young guys who grew up with feminism and who are largely invisible to women anyway.
The guys who "treat them badly" are the ones that they're all sleeping with on Tinder and Instagram, and they aren't the lonely ones.
Showing emotion as a man is a ticket to the friend zone.
Maybe for the women you meet
-Showing emotion- Doing *ANYTHING* as a man in this day and age is a ticket to the friend zone.
Showing emotions will lower her opinion of you and/or be weaponized against you. DON'T DO IT!
I am so sorry that you are meeting such crummy women! I think my women friends and I must be weirdos; we aren't turned off by a guy having a gentle or vulnerable side. That's a big plus!
Honestly, the number one thing that makes me turn away from a relationship, is anger. When I look back on my dating days, that was usually the love-killer, and trust-killer. Even if it wasn't aimed at me. I think it's is a big problem for a lot of women, but the sad thing is, it also scares us into silence so we can't tell the men in our lives what the problem actually is. I think a lot of decent men experience anger and express it, without realizing how much it can frighten us and drive us away. Now, anger is normal, and doesn't need to be bottled up, but partners should talk about differences here. I want to put this issue out there, where maybe a few men will see and consider if it's been a factor in their dating lives.
I was once talking to an appealing intelligent man on a dating site, who had a lot going for him, seemed very kindhearted ... but he started to reveal that he had all this anger and long-held grudges, about various things in his life. He was so angry about problems with relatives, and missed opportunities on his life path. He had so much anger and self-pity about women who hadn't dated him long, especially a woman who ghosted him. He hated ghosting (who doesn't?) and insisted that "she should have had the decency to tell [him] to his face why [he] was so terrible." He'd already mentioned that the woman was abused before, so I suggested that maybe she just got scared, and it was nothing against him personally, but perhaps she couldn't face him due to fears from the past. I was trying to help him feel better about her disappearance, consider a different interpretation, give a little grace to that lady and by extension to himself. But then he snapped at *me*, started yelling that I shouldn't tell him what to think or feel. I certainly wasn't trying to mandate how he felt, just offer alternative explanations that might bring him some relief. Obviously that wasn't the right approach, but it was equally obvious by that point that our temperaments just didn't match.
So - I didn't ghost him. I tried to be brave and honest, which I hoped he would respect. I told him directly that his anger was a problem for me, and was the reason I would not be dating him. I also said he had plenty going for him, and I had been genuinely interested, and I hoped he could let go of all that bitterness to make room for a happy future. I do hope he is happy today.
I vehemently disagree. Yes, if you show emotion very early in a relationship then yeah. But after a while when you’re both in love and in a long-term relationship, she’s not going to friend zone you. And also, if you’ve been seeing some girl for a month and she starts having meltdowns and open jealousy, you’ll either friend zone her or ghost her
The last time (which was also my first time) I trusted a woman (GF) to accept my emotional issues, I learned the hard way that I shouldn't have.
Same. When I had a breakdown she left me.
I’m much happier now though without her. I was always on trial to keep her happy and that was a big contributing factor for my breakdown.
In fact I don’t think I would have had a breakdown if it wasn’t for her.
I don’t think she accepts any accountability.
@@lucatkinson "I was always on trial to keep her happy" - Big, big, BIG mistake. And if a woman EVER shows signs of testing you then the best you can do is to kick her out too.
I saw a video of yours where a young lady was appalled that a young man she was dating had never been told he worth being loved after 18 years of never hearing that.
The 1 and only time that happened to me was when I was 49 years old from a former girlfriend who felt horrible about how she destroyed me as a young man.
Never before that and never since.
It’s almost a slap in the face at this point.
I've read that what men want most is simply to be appreciated for what they do.
Yet in my long term relationship while I typically compliment milady multiple times every day, a compliment from her is more like one per month - if I'm lucky. Lucky I'm self-confident because I sure don't get it from her.
I'm ALONE 90% of my time
I'm NEVER "lonely"
It gets better as time marches on. Peace and love always.
I haven't had a girlfriend in over 25 years years. Since covid, I lost several friends. I don't miss human company, but my cat died a while ago. I do miss him.
3 rings in Marriage: engagement ring, wedding ring, and the Suffering.
Suffe'ring'😂😂 that is a good one!
Most of this loneliness in today's society, is that people (especially women, sorry, not sorry) Are too busy thinking about Me, me, me. What will I get out of this, what will you do for me. There is no "us" any longer. The women always state they want this and that, but in reality, they want and do the opposite. If you lie to men, how can you ever get what you want and or need? I spent a long time studying women after my divorce. I have tested many theories, after seeing how people react to situations. Women are actually the ones that are lonely, and just (once again) trying to push the issue that it's men. Men are not as lonely as you'd like us to be, so, Women, stop trying to shame men into thinking it's all their fault. it takes 2.
so true. a man can be alone and be truly happy. A woman simply cannot.
There is a huge difference between being alone and being lonely.
A libary and a garden is all you need, work on yourself and stay healty and if you really need a friend, get yourself a dog.
Never chase a woman.
And never let a woman use you as an emotional toilet so she can dump all her problems & frustrations.
Hear hear buddy well said!!! I agree I'm alone, but definitely not lonely, in fact I'm happy and free and I love my own company. Was married for 20 years, two children, three grandchildren, got divorced 27 years ago and still going great 👍👍👍👍👍
The main reason is ghosting! Women today have criteria that is so strict that it's impossible to satisfy her. If you said the wrong thing (which can be anything) or didn't do something, she just ghosts you. They break off contact and we have no idea what we did "wrong" and then possibly end up making the same mistake on the next date because we got no closure.
I couldn't agree more. Nowadays men need to have clairvoyance skills to get along with women. That's insane.
Been there before
Evidently men can ghost women for days and they see no problem with it...... but if I don't get back to a guy within an hour, I must be mad at him or I am ignoring him. That's been my experience.
@@rondasoutherland6882 I know virtually no cases of men ghosting women.
@westerncentristrants525 it just happened to me 3 weeks ago. Went out for a great night out on the town and had lots of laughs with a nice man. We talked on the phone every day for a week after that and planned another date for the following Saturday. On Friday I sent a message asking what town he wanted to meet at, mine or his. (We live in different towns just 35 minutes apart) He said he would let me know later that evening......I haven't heard from him since. I've sent 4 messages after that asking what happened and to make sure he was alright with no response. Yes, we get ghosted more than you think.... and stood up.
I honestly have mostly given up on dating. I have been single for a while now, and I enjoy my peace. I enjoy doing what I want to do without feeling like I have to meet the expectations of someone else. After my last relationship, I realized that I am just happier in my peace. I decided that if a woman I take interest in wouldnt add to my peace, then I drop the idea. It sucks, but I bent over backwards in my last relationship. I lost friends. I was a different person. All because I wanted to be a good boyfriend. After that, I realized just how much of myself I had lost. I will not willingly put myself in a situation where I stand to lose myself again. Do I feel lonely from time to time? Sure, but instead of wallowing in it, I go and do something I enjoy.
One of the best life lessons ai learned is that joy is not something you feel, but something you choose. If something you choose takes away from that joy, that thing needs to be excised. It has served me well over the past 8 years. I wont stray from it.
Always be true to yourself. You owe it to yourself to be who you are. If others do not like that in you say goodbye. That applies to everyone.
That’s right man, do your thing and enjoy it. Don’t pay no thought to what the others say
This literally word for word describes my situation right now. Me and my girlfriend just had discussions of ending our 10 year relationship. I'm ready to find myself again. I hope you're enjoying life out there bud.
Don’t confuse loneliness with being content in the fact that most women are not deserving of a genuine man and we are “content” with sacrificing having a relationship to assure we live longer, have less stress, retire younger and feel more fulfilled with our lives.
Ladies, you are no longer needed.
Sincerely… retired at 49 and traveling the world scuba diving on a whim. Couldn’t have achieved my zen with a woman holding me back from my goals… oh, I retired my son too.
My loneliness is due to my wife's death from cancer in 2020. Now that I'm finally 'recovering' (sure), I'm seeing the modern dating seen after 30 years out of it, and saying NOPE. Good luck out there, guys.
As a young man I’m starting to lose hope and might be single forever and die a virgin but it is what it is
@@jaysouthmusic8230 Probably the same way for me. I expect to retain my virtue until the end.
I am alone. I am not lonely. I am at a place in life where my peace of mind is the most valuable thing to me.
My financial stability has never been better, I just paid off a three year old truck, and just finished converting my spare
bedroom into a home gym. I go shooting when I want to, buy whatever toys I want and stay on my own schedule.
I won't sacrifice my happiness for a woman ever again.
Rock ‘n’ roll man you do you don’t ever fall for these fucking games again, because neither will i
Sounds great 😊👍.
Good for you. Way to go!👍
I'm 63 (man) and work in an industrial environment with a lot of younger 20s-40s men and women. I heard not long ago from one man in his early 30s who was not motivated to date that, (as you mentioned in this video), because there is too much confusion in the gender roles..."what is expected, is unknown", and it has caused conflict in his dating experiences. So interesting that you mentioned that. My first job out of college was in a factory, then 30 plus years in advertising, now back in a factory setting. Very interesting to listen to the younger people talk about relationships compared to when I was their age.
I cried at my grandfathers funeral. Girlfriend left the next day. Haven’t dated since.
Sorry to hear that. I've heard the same many times over after the man experienced a death in the family, including one of his children. I've also heard women call a guy weak and pathetic after the dog he'd had for many years had died, and then leave him.
@@EE12CSVTHonestly, we are better off when they show their true colors.
@@EE12CSVT Brother of my friend committed suicide. My friend was devastated. Do I have to tell you that his girlfriend told him to get over it with zero compassion and left him in less than 6 months. They were living together for few years at that point. Took the dog with her btw.
You've dodged a bullet right there.
@@TorsteinTheFallen Better late than sorry, he's lucky that wretch has shown her true colors soon enough.
OMG, I did Laundry, changed diapers, cleaned the Kitchen, loaded the dishwasher and then my wife would constantly correct my effort. 🤦 Whatever I did, it was always wrong, even when it was right or fine. 😡
The best is that my soon to be ex-wife had the audacity to say that one of the reasons that we are getting a divorce is that I wasn't emotionally available enough. The reason why that is funny is because I have always been very open and expressed my concerns, feelings and was highly empathetic to her own concerns and feelings. HOWEVER. She confessed to me that she cheated on me and for the few months after that, I was withdrawn and trying to process what she had done to me. So yes, for those few months I was emotionally distant ( we had agreed to see counselling and I was essentially counting down the days until we did) because I couldn't tell our friends and family about what she had done because I didn't want anyone to hate her. And then she dropped the news that she wanted a divorce and I started telling everyone and sure enough. Aside from her family, everyone else took my side and she lost nearly all her friends and my family of course.
I also didn't tell anyone about my ex abusing me because I didn't want anyone to hate her. In the end I swear she lost respect from me lying for her or maybe she never had any respect.
@@eddier155 I'm really sorry that you had to go through that. No one deserves to be treated like that and you 100% deserve to be with someone that respects and will defend you rather than use you as a punching bag.
Yes we all deserve common decency and respect. I hate that I ignored the 73 million red flags because eventually her issues dominated my very existence. I don't bother telling friends about the abuse I endured because they either won't believe it or end up hating her. Just wish I didn't have so many unanswered questions about how and why. Thankfully there's plenty of useful information in videos like this one.
@@eddier155my friend, just become the best version of yourself! The best revenge is to live an amazing life!
Yeah, when they cheat and berate and condescend and disrespect, the gloves are off!
I agree with everything you said. (Edit correction: I don't agree about opening up with your emotions. Women cannot and will not put up with a man having true emotions and none are willing to listen to you talk about how you have anxiety or depression. Even women that love you more than anything are too weak to try and support any emotional turmoil you may have. So, men, if you have problems in your life, talk to your parents, talk to your close friends but don't talk to your girlfriend/wife. It is always, I repeat, always a problem to open up to your girlfriend/wife.) I would also like to add that long distance relationships are now much more common because of internet dating. Many men are now unwilling to date girls inside the US because of how feminist the majority have become and now seek women outside of the US. There are also many men that would prefer doing this but don't like the idea of a long distance relationship, so they just choose not to date at all. Also, within relationships, men used to come home to a wife that was prepared for him to come home, waiting for him and happy to see him after a long day without him. Now though, both people work and neither person is excited to see the other because all it means to come home now is a fight over who is going to do the chores. A woman now just waits in anticipation to fight with her husband/boyfriend when he gets home rather than waiting in anticipation to spend quality time with him. I also think both men and women are much more selfish than they used to be in the past. Before getting married in the past the question for a woman was, "How can I be a good wife?" and the question for a man was, "How can I be a good husband?" But now people are always asking, "How can I be treated like a queen by my husband?" or "How can I be treated like a king by my wife?" Sorry but both men and women need to change. Relationships are about selflessness not selfishness. You need to think about the other person before you think about yourself. If you truly love someone, you should be willing to make compromises to make them happy and you should think of their happiness before your own. If both men and women did this there would be no problem but it's also one or the other that is not doing their part and caring about the other's needs before their own. Both a man and a woman have a responsibility to think of taking care of the other before they take care of themselves. Many men are like, "It's a woman's responsibility to cook and clean." but you should be willing to die for your woman to make her happy. If you stop acting selfish then maybe your wife will actually want to help you. Many people don't understand that their attitude determines a lot of how they are treated in return. Many women are always complaining, "My husband never does enough around the house." While she herself is putting in little to no effort and is not giving her husband basic needs of intimacy. You withhold intimacy from a man and expect him to feel just as close to you as before? That's ridiculous. If you want a man to feel close to you, provide him with that necessary intimacy and remind him that you love him and think he's sexy. Then, maybe it will change his attitude and make him want to help around the house. If you are always leaving your partner starving for intimacy or for any kind of display of love, then how can you expect them to want to do anything for you? And men, if you are treating your woman with an uncaring attitude and are always demanding toward her how can you expect her to respond positively towards you? As a man you need to understand that women are much more emotional and you need to be forgiving toward them for that and you need to be careful to speak to her in a calm, gentle tone and not to speak in an accusatory way. Every time you speak to your woman it needs to be from an angle of wanting her to be happy, wanting your relationship to be better and being willing to compromise to make that happen.
Whitespace!
@@natehill8069 Can you create a comprehensive sentence as a reply rather than a single word that I have to assume the meaning of? Let's try to use full sentences to convey meaning like people who know how to communicate.
@@joshuayoukai4790 Please turn whatever that first post is into something with paragraphs. I'm not reading 700 words in one continuous wall.
It's refreshing to see the proper perspective on this. Selfishness definitely absorbs our modern minds. There's a battle going on in the conservative side of culture as I am sure you see: red pill conservatives happily step on traditional relationships while religious conservatives (my side) still fight for them, putting forth the same great arguments you have. It reminds me of this Bible snippet: "Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined". I really hope we will overcome this sickness.
@@joshuayoukai4790 Break up your wall of text into smaller paragraphs for legibility.
Men dont express your feelings. If you must make up a good story line and stick to it. She will probably kick you to the curb sooner or later. If not it wont really matter anyway. Think long and hard and stick to a good narrative that is believeable. You know she is going to challenge you on what you say. Its at this time you think long and hard about being with her. Exercise all your options and do not break any laws. Ask her about her feelings also. She probably has a story line she has been using and continues to follow. This should be a huge red flag. Any woman that developes any kind of feelings in a relationship is not going to prey into your past and your feelings and demand you spill your guts out. Men have been kicked around a little to much. Eventhough I like the commentator and some of her statements. Loneliness is really on a symptom of the problem. Not the problem itself.
I couldn't agree more. Men have ALOT on their shoulders from relationships, family, friends and even their own marriages too. I wish to all the men out their to seek the help you need, to find the right women to be there, love and support you in everything you do and to find the happiness where you need it most.
Suggestions on where to look? Places where quality women want to be approached where everyone feels safe and that kind of interaction is expected?
It needs to be genuine as well. It feels disingenuous to specifically go and do something I would never do in any other circumstance just to be in a warm environment.
@@deanthroop8054 I can't tell you specifically where to go, who to find or what type of women to love you. That is something that you really want for yourself. I apologize if I didn't make my comment more specific enough.
@@Scorpiogirl_1029 fair enough, thank you. Positive thoughts for you.
@@deanthroop8054 thank you. Same to you as well.
@@tilens.5710 Don't use social media to find a girl. Find one offline instead. Easier said than done, but it's better to find someone that's offline than from a social media site.
I don’t feel lonely. I’m a single father of a beautiful daughter. I’ve not seen or spoken to my daughter because of her mum in 10 months but I’m not lonely. I’m healing from being treated very badly by a woman. There’s a lot to be said for going within. I’m more spiritual than I have ever been. I’m comfortable with myself and look forward to my alone time. I don’t need to be in a relationship where there are rules and grief. Right now I like me, myself and I. You should not be with someone to make you happy. You should be happy in yourself before you meet someone. This is where it all goes wrong.
Hear, Hear! Thank you for expressing this - for both men and women.
I can literally identify with this comment.
That’s right brother, preach
i got told by my now ex wife that she wanted me to try and take care of my childhood trauma (i was neglected unless i was being treated as the family punching bag and was not allowed to hang out with friends after school) and sort through it. i told her i cant do it without faltering, and probably opening up emotions i locked away deep down, and probably withdraw a bit from my efforts in the relationship. she said she would be by my side no matter what. 3 months later she divorces me because im not paying as much attention to her, my emotional trauma is too much. and that she no longer had any respect for me and thought she was more of a man than i was. It has fucking devastated my confidence. I don't know why i still want her back. i really did love her but she broke me and my trust in a way i doubt ill ever fully recover from.
she thinks im the one who ruined the relationship.
That's fucking wild, I couldn't imagine thinking someone would support me through hell or high water, only to find out they're the fair weather type.
@@commodorejones8044 im still fucked up over it nearly 6 months later. Love is wild man
There is no such thing as "toxic masculinity" there are only toxic personalities. Masculinity is not toxic.
And most of those are feminine.
Well said.
Strongly agree with this take. The changing times, with regards to gender roles, has thrown the whole family dynamic into question. Trying to find my place in that relationship has been difficult.
I am super glad both men and women can now share many of the roles in the relationship, but while I am strongly in favor of equality, I do not agree with the female supremacy that some women espouse (that women should have to do nothing while being able to spend all the money on things she wants).
I hope to see a day where men and women can be partners and find a relationship dynamic where all the struggles are shared.
I've never been so lonely in my life. Going through a divorce currently, initiated by her. This sucks.
Yes. I never felt true loneliness in my life until my (ex) wife initiated separation and then divorce proceedings (together for almost 13yrs). It takes time but things do get better (in your own headspace).
In my case, she went back to her ex haha.
Youll get through it. And once you do you will realize in time that you are happier and more free than you ever thought you could be by yourself.
Hang in there brother. My wife left me back in January, 15 years together and 3 kids. She was my everything, she changed though, she started to believe that she wasn’t. This video was spot on about the mentality of women and how its changed now a days. I got my divorce papers too, I just wasn’t aware that burying me was a part of finding her happiness.
Feel comforted that you’re capable of so much more than she will ever be, and one day she’ll be just another cat lady.
Men are missing the opportunity that modern women are giving them. as a male ,I never feel lonely. not being saddled with having to take care of women anymore, is a great time for men. Having time to follow my passions. I thank women for stepping up and finally pulling their own weight and not holding men back anymore. Thank you modern women for freeing men.
Damn right brother!
Seems like there is a lot of dog catching the car going on and a lot of wanting to have your cake and eat it too.
Ultimately, it just seems like so much anger and so much blame flowing out without any desire to find solutions; this applies to a lot of individuals regardless of roles or genders. The level of animosity is problematic.
Appreciate your thoughts and insights, Emily. Positive thoughts for you and those close to you.
It's because of selfishness on both sides. Neither side wanting to make positive changes in themselves. Instead they always expect the other person to change. But relationships require sacrifice and compromise. Both people need to be selfless, especially in marriage.
I totally agree with all 5 points. I've found myself since becoming single after a 12yr marriage-now divorced I've not seen my 2 daughters in 2.5yrs all because of my x-wife who is a narcissistic controlling type of person. She wanted me to show my emotions & when I did I was labelled "a crybaby, a sook" etc... it takes a real man to show his emotions these days!
There's a difference between showing emotions and crying to your wife. You shouldn't do the latter
I’m tired of providing and being strong. I just want peace, especially from my own head.
And this is why I'm going to the Philippines to find a woman
How? By flaunting your money, like so many passport bros? That will only invite the golddiggers. You won't get any loyal woman. You'll get a woman who's looking for a hand-out. Instead, you should become more attractive. Lose the black pill attitude and level up.
Good luck brother.
I'm thinking about dating a foreigner too.
Women here in the states are just too f**ked up to deal with.
Snooty, snobby, selfish, unappreciative, unapproachable,
I'm just done with them here. American women SUCK!!
As a Filipino man. You'll probably be fine. Just be careful she's not just trying to get a green card off you.
Me 2...😢
Side note haven't left my house unnecessarily for MONTHS, and you know what,,, I'm officially addicted to the silence,, it's BEUTIFUL
L̳E̳T̳S̳ ̳D̳I̳S̳C̳U̳S̳S̳ ̳M̳O̳R̳E̳ ̳A̳B̳O̳V̳E̳🛐🤷♂️🤦♂️...
When my wife started trying to tell me how to do dishes, cooking and laundry, I told her, "Stop insulting my mother and grandmother. They taught me what I know and they raises families with out poisoning or killing anyone, so their technics obviously work fine. So stop it!"
I blame society and or people in general.
I grew up friendless
I was bullied every single day I attended school
I was the shy, quiet, emotional boy...and it marked me. Didn't help I had (still have, it's always a conscious effort) 2 speech impediments.
I attended private school (with younger sis) for two years. Coming to public school was a major culture shock and I NEVER adjusted. It was a small private school and I learned well there. Came to public school l, got bumped back 3 grades (was tested and based on grades alone I should have heen in 5th grade) and the fiasco began. First was having to learn how to write in print (went straight to cursive at first school), then forbidden to solve math problems my way (school's way never did make sense to me), forbidden from writing in cursive (until 4th grade) and in pen.
I didn't have a dirty and or vulgar mind....I didn't get dirty or crude jokes which quickly became jokes about me. I didn't actually "get them" until dad gave me the birds and the bees talk on my 12th bday.
My fathers solution to getting bullied? Fight back. I can understand fighting back against 1 or 2, but when you have 30+ guys coming after you...
When he found out that apractically my entire class was after me, he dragged me along to each of their houses and had "talks" with the parents....worst thing ever. Made things so bad I wasn't allowed to go to recess. My fathers solution? "I don't know what to tell you" or "you're too sensitive"...needless to say, my father and I evebtuslly stopped getting along.
I never went through puberty. Long and short of it equals out to misdiagnoses, hrt (at 15 and16 - 31years ago) when it was pointless. Quite literally the only thing I got out of it was height and big feet. Literally nothing else. Went from 5' flat to 6'4" (taller than dad) and 18 1/2 XXW shoes. Used to enjoy wearing cowboy boots, but haven't been able to find any since my feet got big. Mrrh.
Spent 8 months in extensive psychological care before I was allowed to take hrt. Some for mental care and some for what to expect health wise for taking it as I got older)
In ye middle of treament I ended up falling in a gasoline fire. 2nd and 3rd degree burns on both legs. From my ankles to "almost too high for comfort" if you get my drift. Treatment was hell. I get night terrors to this day from some of the things I went through during that time. Really hated being put in the children's wing of the hospital even though I was more than old enough for the adult wing. I hated being treated like a child by the nurses. That was when I realized I was being joked about for certain physical issues.
I did have crushes in school, but I was too afraid to say snything. I eas already being tormented by everyone everyday. What would be the point? Even my own younger sister openly ignored ny existence. In HS she told everyobe we weren't related and then they came after me accusing me of wanting to bag her....and my parents never believed me when I told em what happened. That one really stung. Younger sis and I don't talk at all these days.
I didn't graduate with my class of 96. Back then Phys Ed. was the state req to graduate (in Ohio). I refused to take that class. There was no way in hell I was gonna do open showers with my fellow guys who hated my guts. I feared if they saw my body I'd areally get it. Got out of school with 48 out of 40 necessary credits...but since I refused to take phys ed..... Took my GED test in 98 and got my diploma mailed to me in 99.
After hs and even moving away I was targeted. Got called every gay slur out there just because I looked young, didn't shave, and never had a voice change. That's one of the reasons why I trained my voice. The other is that I got tired of being called Ma'am on the phone or being told they didn't believe I was over 18.
Movedho abother town when I just turned 20. Spent almost two years there. Good roomies and they were my first friends. 7 of us. Wild group. Alas, the tormebt still came my way and this time things took a different turn.
I don't like getting into the details of what happened. 3 people know the full story and thats enough for me. But I will say that a group of 8 guys decided to make my life a living hell. Spouting off gay slurs, followin me, grabbing themselves, licking their lips and being dowbright cruel sobs. Then they really came after me. Work was only two blocks away so I walked. Shouldn't have I guess. Was assaulted in a way no one, m or f should have to experience.
I never did like being touched (not abused as a child and nost definitely not a germaphobe), but sfter ehat happened it fully manifested. I'm disgusted by all physical contact these days. I've only been touched 3 times in the last 24 years. The last time being 8 years ago.
Ive been a recluse 24 years in Jabuary. After what happened to me, my mind checked out. I remember calling my parents for help and bits and pieces after that...but not much. At 25 I came out of my stupor changed.
There's a price to pay for long term isolation. I honestly think I was still somewhat ok 10-13 years in, but now? Social anxieties up the wazoo. I cant function around people any more. I see no one, I talk to no one (save for immediate fam). Growing up friendless at least prepared me for being friendless (irl) now - that's for sure.
Few years ago I was diagnosed with a plethora of social anxieties, depression, as well as autism. And that's when I learned that as a child it was suggested to my parents that I wasn't supposed to be in "normal" classes. My parents told me that they wanted me to be treated normally. Sad thing is - I liked the special classes. I'd hang out in there when I could because I understood the way the teachers taught things and they let their students solve problems their way. Hair pulling moment, lemme tell ya.
These days I grow and raise my own food...also have a system in place for bartering with my neighbors. I live out in the boonies and most of my neighbors are Amish. Set that up years ago after my father and I built my place on the fam property in the woods. Looks small and its camouflaged. Technically is small - top floor is ground floor. Two more lower floors, basically 1 room each except for the bottom one. Main property is for farming and I'm hidden away (as I personally want) taking care of the birds (chickens, ducks, and geese) and scaring the living daylights out of kids who trespass on the property. That has become a personal joy of mine through the years. Nothing a blast of a shotgun can't fix, lol.
Raise other animals, but they're pets. I do get out, but I'm more or less property bound. In summer when there's foliage I'll walk through the woods in my area, but I'm never seen. I've gotten good at that.
If there's typos, I apologize. Only have a smartphone these days and the touchpad drives me bonkers.
I myself have been bullied at school and it is difficult to explain how painful it is if you have not been victimized yourself. You can accept that some people don't like you, but when no one likes you, you start to wonder if there is something wrong with yourself, which in turn can lead to self-hatred. Now I'm an adult and still sometimes wonder why this happened to me. I have come to the conclusion that in my case I came into conflict with a person who had many friends. He started bullying me and so did his friends. I think many of his friends didn't actually want to bully me, but were afraid of being excluded from the group themselves if they didn't. It was simply fear that caused me to be bullied. This insight has helped me. Even though I have lived a destructive life with a lot of self-hatred, I believe that God has always loved me and I'm sure he loves you too.
@@mathiasolofsson4321 I'm a Christian as well. I believe that's the sole reason why I didn't and haven't killed myself yet. Mind you, not trying to kill myself...but especially in my late 20s when I was in real low pits of despair I did thoroughly think out different ways of dying. Strange how those thoughts are now always still there in my mind....it's weird.
@@Tmhjr_Baskar I have also had suicidal thoughts. Sometimes it feels like you're in a dark well and can't get out no matter what you do. It's like a broken CD starts in my head that repeats how bad my life is, that I'm not good enough, etc. I've tried medications, talked to a psychologist, but the only thing that has helped is prayer. I'm going to say a prayer for you and you're welcome to say one for me if you want
@@mathiasolofsson4321 :-)
My prayers are more like open discussions these days. I live alone and I literally don't see anyone else....didn't see the point of bowing my head any more a long time ago.
In the animal kingdom, humanity is the most sadistic, cruel, and inhumane of all species. We are the only species that tortures, other, kill, terrorize. Etc.....as a human being, you can only do what is best for you....I am so very sad that this unspeakable indecency has happened to you. Any of you.
Yes things are changing. The one thing that hasn't changed is the need to control! My ex would brow beat my straight A earning daughter calling her stupid "for using the wrong broom to sweep the floor". I can't count the times I would find my daughter in her room crying after these kinds of things. Yep, it's about control and this old man is not lonely at all. In fact, I've never been happier not having to waste any more of my life trying to please anyone who refuses to be pleased!
Wow I’m sorry to hear that about your daughter. My mother wasn’t perfect but she was never this bad and I miss her. Stay single like me and enjoy life. I wish I could be a good female influence for her. Hope she has other strong caring women in her life. 😢
So sad what has happened to the American family.
@@tammyeaton4791it is what it is, where you from?
people with trauma either re-enact their trauma on to others or work on their shit. Id also learn everything about npd.
My ex would call me stupid and berate me. I have 36 patents, make a lot of money, single handed remodel the house …
I’d rather die alone in my poop than go back there.
I haven't dated since I was 21 yrs old - I worked on my career goals. I have tried to rejoin the dating pool and most women now days want to be on the Tic-Tak, fartbook, only bans or whackchat. I had some woman try to shame me just because of my choice of going to school and getting a associates, bachelors, 2 Masters degrees and a PhD so I can take care of a woman properly instead of dating 500 women. I can count the girlfriends I had on 4 fingers for funs sake.
I think I am trying to do the correct thing. I'd learned to stay single and stay true to myself instead of lowering my expectations.
MEMO to men: If you are tired of making your own decisions and WANT to be constantly shamed, belittled, and financially exploited ... then GET MARRIED.
Unfortunately, you are correct😞
We're not all lonely, some of us and I imagine it's quite a lot, have close male friends and rather than sit around drinking coffee and berating our exes we do things like going to sporting events, playing golf etc etc, being in a toxic relationship is far more lonely.
1. Dating is f*cked up nowadays. In 2010's it was not as 2018+.
2. Many women will get bored and divorce/break up suddently
3. Cheating
4. Women does not value men, we are only "stupid" walking ATM machines for them.
5. There is much more peace in loneliness.
Sometimes it's hard to be alone and see some friends with long term relationships, but... Better alone than sorry.
You are absolutely right!
A lot of women want you to help, but then when you “do it wrong”, say forget it I’ll doit, then complain they’re doing all the work
I was eager to hear your take on this, but it's just a feminist watered-down version of truth.
Men are lonely because loneliness is convenient. I just turned 39 and my life is at its comfiest thanks to my efforts.
I got my shit sorted out, all bills paid on time, no criminal record, a steady income, no addictions, slim waist (lost 8kg), a nice dog, and a full head of hair. How can any woman improve on that? I've been single for the past 20 years and I don't see myself ever getting hitched to the dumpster that is the modern woman.
To all the young men out there, this is my advice - make your life as convenient as possible. You don't have any obligations to anyone, not your country, not your family, only to yourself.
Have you ever even tried to get a woman? Or just sat there for 20 years with that mindset, that all the women are bad etc.. A lot of people just look for excuses nowdays to "not even try", so if you didn't try yet, I'd recommend to give it a shot instead of watching some useless videos gaslighting you about why your'e still lonely.. same recommendation to everyone who didn't even try..
@@raze618 There is nothing to get and if there were you're the one who wouldn't be "getting" women. I am the prize and I'm not lifting a finger to attract anyone. If she wants me, she can come get me.
@@raze618 The thing is, this is a great mindset to have. And what is this about 'not even trying'? If you were offered an expensive car and said you did not want to pay for it, would the salesgirl blame you for not even trying to afford it? Or would she just accept that no means no? There is no need to try to acquire things you do not need. Obviously society will try to convince you otherwise to keep the economy moving. I do disagree with the original comment a bit though. I think men should try to make their country and wider society better in some way, to give their single life more meaning.
I'm a middle aged man and I'm not in a relationship. That doesn't mean I'm lonely, I just spend a lot of time by myself. I have my peace of mind at home with no one moving my keys or complaining that I left the toilet seat up. There's no rogue credit card bills or insufferable drama in my life. I think I'll keep things just the way they are now.