feels free to leave and move on enjoying one after another.. leaving alone the person who loved them truly... becoz their purpose is over...much may be said about the self and one's identity but still the person who is loved becomes more important than oneself....they are given that space and freedom ultimately to be ditched leaving the person who loved them repenting...lost..empty...stupid
4:10 - 4:50 "When we fear their reaction, When we adapt to their reaction we are no longer ourselves and no good can ever come from that.".... This line right here clicked.
Next time my 18-wheeler friend, with a trailer & Bobcat on the back, drives by - I'm running after his big rig with my arms wide open. He will stop. I'll let you know how it turns out...
Damn, damn, damn.... I really needed to hear this. He gives such balanced, positive, non- manipulative advice. I also like his calm sensitive way of presenting things.
Stop needing their validation...don't ever lose yourself....set boundaries regardless of their reaction- don't live by their reaction..."I'm not willing to accept this kind of behavior- in order to be happy I need to be with someone who..." you don't have to give me that to me -I never want to feel pressure you into doing something you want to do- you have to be happy as well of course, and you choose how you want to live your life- you choose how you want to treat me- but I will make my decisions accordingly, I have to take care of myself- I want to be happy".
After the relationship matures and is permanent, it is important to NOT say those relationship "killing" things when angry. Say this to end a conflict which can be a lifelong help to last the years:... "you're probably right".... Then don't argue. Put it away. Your mate will learn over time that this works for both of you. Married for 45 years.
@@Donnadlongino I started living my life as if he didn't matter. I got a life of my own that didn't did not revolve around him. Got involved in church and various community activities. found a life outside my home and he was in no longer my priority. When he would start acting up or treating me badly, I told him I wanted a divorce. Even though I didn't really, I had enough and I was ready to go through with it rather than living my life in misery.
@@csassoni1992 that respect thing doesn't work for everyone for the fact is they will take the advantage of you you could pour out your heart and give the best of your best and you still woke up what you need I had to walk out for good but I'm glad this work for you cuz no one should feel like the relationship is one-sided it should be equal I guess when you stop from catering to him he woke up good for you
Best advice one person can EVER give you for a long-term and sustainable love!!! Married 30 years now and we both had to learn these lessons the hard way, over and over again bc at times...you will both become co-dependent. Aging parents, death, children, illness and part time or full disabilities will come up so it can be a lot down the road in your relationships. Not to mention all of this on top of your jobs! When you start to depend on your spouse more than you should or worse, for everything...only a matter of time bf it falls apart. Life is long (if you're lucky) and it can be very hard and emotionally draining. Sometimes you just wanna come home and relax or be alone to recharge and if your needy spouse is always there waiting on you to pick them up and what they need emotionally every. single. day., it will NOT last folks! No matter how much love you have for a person, that is not sustainable. It will feel like coming home to yet another full time job. Resentment will build up and you'll bite each other's heads off and it can get ugly. So take his advise bc I sure wish our parents had taught us this growing up but we had to figure all of this out along the way, over and over again until we finally got it! Thanks for a FANTASTIC video ❤️💯 Don't bother arguing or trying to change each other bc it won't work and it's unloving. Only bring loving kind words, support and encouragement to your spouse and that will ensure a loving and happy relationship, which is the GOAL:) Nagging, blame games, etc...will just cause fights and push them further away. You both must learn to control your emotions and bite your tongues or politely take a break and come back to the calm conversation once you've calmed down. Anger, ugliness, unkind words, venting or speaking badly about your spouse, JUST DON'T DO IT! All these things create doubt, low self esteem, and so forth. Be loyal always! Unless there is abuse or other such circumstances obviously bc then you get out of there immediately! My 2 cents...and book worth of opinions anyway lol. Hope this helps the younger generation❤️
Dr. Esther Perel gives a similar advice in her book: "Mating in Captivity. Unlocking Erotic Intelligence", where she states that it is so important to maintain our individual mystery, independence, and autonomy within our relationship in order to keep the flame of passion and curiosity going towards one another.
More Brian's videos I watch causes that I am more depressed. Because I see the mistakes I do with love and relationships. I know that I'm a decent person to date - pretty, intelligent, funny, but also I'm very emotional and when I'm in love, I show it in a big way. It really hurts that in ordet to get a guy to like me, I can't be myself. It is like a curse, I would really like to be able to keep my distance and not to be so emotional.
Date at least two men at the same time, this will help you not to feel so anxious and desperate. It worked for me. No need to be intimate with either one, if you don't to.
“We have to be able to express our feelings and what we want from that relationship without focusing on the reaction of our lovers.” Now I’m taking notes here.
In addition to all of this great information, I must say a key factor as well is "In order not to lose yourself in a relationship and who you are." You must absolutely know who you are. The good,bad, and the ugly things about yourself. So nobody can use it against you. Have power over you or make you feel less then.
I never so clearly understood the connection between needing validation and being the authentic self. I realize my hard time being natural around the guy I was into was me wanting that reward so bad that I lost connection to myself and to the richness of the moment. I didn't have that mindset every time but whenever I did it sucked.. everything felt off because of my split energy. I like this so much because I don't need to learn how to not be nervous. It's more like addressing my belief that I need love from this one person or else crumbs.. that feeling of smallness, me and my friend like to call "squashed squirrel." Bringing all that energy back to me. Thanks so much for your talks...they feel sobering like a cold splash in the face😊
Alexandra Georgiades that’s awesome way of explaining things 🤣 . I am stealing Squirrel 🐿 image for when I see someone that I mistakenly put on a pedestal in the past .
I love these videos!! I was just talking with a girlfriend about this subject. I have also been needy and had my guy pull away from me. I put my phone on silent, I pulled away to find my strength again and he was come back more excited than ever. Thanks for this great reminder!
Excellent video!!! So powerful and true!!! I so appreciate U~ I'm going thru a break up right now bc on my end I acted needy, controlling, demanding, manipulative and hurtful towards him bc of my own fears that were triggered. I definitely always wanted /needed his validation and blamed him for the way "he made me feel" when in reality I chose to feel the way I did. I'm just realizing this, I've always blamed others for the way I feel. Everything u spoke about here really hit home. 😪 I will watch this over and over again as it has really helped me to better understand my part in the relationship. Thank u so very much for creating this great video!!! 🌬🙏🏻☺️💓👍🏻
Whispering Wind WOW. You just had a profound moment of moving from Victim to Owner, moving from fixed mindset to growth mindset. Good on you! Be kind to yourself. You’ll now see how relationships will be much easier by simply shifting your mindset. Welcome to your freedom!
Hello Geert, these are golden nuggets you share with us. I recently fell hard for someone, the first person to caress my cheek in 10 years. I have become needy, lowered my value, gave away my power through fear of losing them. The way you state expressing our boundaries is beautiful, dignified, and respectful to both myself and him. Thank you. He has since pulled away as I sit home wondering what he is doing and with whom. It hurts. May I make a suggestion? It is about the title of this video. I think I would say Instead of "Making..." because it implies some of force of manipulation, I would say "Helping our lover to desire.." Cheers from 🇨🇦
In my world as a trans and growing up missing my parents advice,specially my mom sinve she died when i was still 5yrs old..brian nox makes me understand how to loved..thank u brian
You are absolutely right! Great! If you need someone, you cannot really love him. I wanna stay the queen of my own life. So my partner can become and stay my king. That's it. I high-quality relationship of two independent, self-confident and also self-loving persons is a kind of queen-king relationship.
This is probably your best video Brian. My new BF is pulling away. Or at least that's what I feel he's doing... And we started the relationship because he's been chasing me for months. When I finally gave up he started pulling away. I told him I need him to send me messages in the morning. I need him to reply to my messages. I said this was because feeling ignored made me feel nervous. He seemed to have acknowledged my feelings at first but then he went on doing it more and more. Yesterday I told him I felt ignored by him and he laughed..Today I received no text from him. I'm confused but your video came right on time. I needed to hear this.
Brian Knox, your guidance is amazing! I knew I was doing some things wrong just by the way I was feeling during, and after, the actions that really didn't suit me or the situation! The problem is I never got the feed back to know WHAT I was doing wrong! Your advice just feels better, and makes complete sense! Thank you! Finding your channel has completely changed my direction in my life! I was truly at a point of just staying alone!
I love the way you smoothly talk about one point that merges into the other. Your explanations are great and easy to understand with a rational AND emotional mindset. Thank you for your videos! I love watching them :) Keep it up!
Such a great video!! I just used this skill in the breaking up conversation with a date/ boyfriend yesterday. I feel so good, worthy of the best love, only 100%! Then I looked back to this video. Love is a skill we need to continuously learn and grow!!
One cannot get over your videos once they watch them and cannot help watching them at least 10 times! I will watch it again and again! ‘What you run after, actually runs away’ soooo true!
Talk about getting the 'hard knocks' lesson to keep one's relationship and stay in a sane mind always! This video has reawakened the giant inside me. Thank you so much Brian, great job here😆👍
This is one of the single best videos I’ve ever seen on relationship advice. Only emotionally mature people can adopt these practices, but it’s absolutely vital for a quality relationship to thrive. Well done!
Wowww! Your deep, powerful insight blows my mind. I had to hear many points 2-3x as they hit the nail of where I'm at. Everything you said from beginning to end is pure gold. True mind and eye-opener. This may be the best relationship tip I've ever come across!! So grateful to see your video at this most opportune time. Thanks, Brian!
This is filled to the brim with pure wisdom. Going to listen multiple times to this. After listening to this I think giving yourself the validation and affirmation that you need puts us in a position of strength and wholeness. This is so powerful!
While I hear all he's saying to be true, it makes me so sad to realize that in order to keep someone interested in you, all these rules and phycological games have to be applied. It hurts to hear that you just can't simply wholly and deeply love someone with heart and mind open. I have so much love to give but gotta be limited to the rules and game of chase. I'm so tired of playing that game.
FooDogs - I feel the same. I hate being stifled when I can't be myself around my bf because he doesn't show me any affection or love because of what he went through as a child. I feel I'm trying to punish him for not giving me what I need or want. It shouldn't have to be that way. I realized that this is the way he is and I can't change him, I'm not his therapist. I want to walk away but I love him too much. Sometimes I think if I do leave him, maybe he'll change.
Us women need to realize that we all have a past and the older we are the more baggage we have to deal with. Part of true love is to know when to walk away. Let him grow. Be there as a friend when he needs you, but too if you are not getting your needs met, that is when resentment/frustration comes in. We have to be strong and step away and give him the space to grow.
I feel like years of emotional investment into a guy who won't appreciate us or fulfill our needs is a million times worse but to each their own I guess...
I think he is talking more about the natural laws of attraction and trying to help people to resonate within them for the most successful relationship possible. I have had relationships that needed none of this knowledge because they worked effortlessly and I have been in the opposite which I destroyed because I didn't understand these natural laws of attraction. Some people grow up with good role models (parents) who they learn all this stuff from, while everyone else has to learn it on their own or suffer the consequences. I am happy at 56 to finally learn this stuff. It all makes total sense. I am like duh. 🤔
so brilliant Brian...thank you. you dont know how much you have made me realized, and im sure also to thousands of people who have watched and heard you through these blogs like me, you have helped us. please continue doing this, educating people on relationships and saving them from psychological trauma or dilemma and emotional confusion. God bless you
Hey Brian, icant believe that only a video can make me feel so empowered and I am now able get out of my depression due to insecurity in a relationship....thanks a ton..it really made my life soooo much easier happier and satisfying
Thank you so much for this great video! Such an important message. I always find it so hard to remember these things when in a relationship. I start out being "myself" in the beginning of the relationship, but then I tend to lose myself as I adapt to the other person's feelings & reactions. This lead eventually leads me to feel frustrated and resentful.
Nailed it!!! I went thru this with my significant other...after 19 years we are trying & giving our relationship another chance. It took me walking away several times before he realized I'm not going there to that co-defendant unhealthy crazy anymore. Everything you said is so true & it almost destroyed my relationship. But I woke up & fell back in love with myself & him & knew things had to change & that had to start with myself & what I was going to allow & accept. Thank you!!
I totally get the message but it’s super sad when I’m thinking about people who suffer from mental illnesses like f.e. BPD or anxiety who needs a lot of reassurance from the other person and it’s not because of neediness- it’s just because their brain tells them awful stories about themselves and people they love and they can’t fight it alone. And I know it’s kind of a different situation but it’s still very sad that it super hard to find a person who will be with you and who will support you... when you can’t act perfectly (or just good enough) like in those videos :’) Edit: nothing wrong with this video tho, quite contrary haha Love your channel ^^
Wow! I know this is an old video but holy smokes I needed this so badly and didn't even realize it until after the first 3 minutes! It may be an old video but it's a GREAT one as well and advice like this NEVER gets old! I have been with my partner for a little over 11 years now (we had our 11th in August) and it is so easy to lose certain aspects of a relationship after so many years if you're not paying attention. So obviously I'm here because we haven't been paying attention and we've lost some things and I feel like I've been running in circles trying to save us, this video is already helping see why I am running in circles. I am VERY invested in my relationship, we have built an ENTIRE LIFE TOGETHER so naturally I am terrified of losing that life and my best friend and because of that I think I've been pushing him too hard. Thank you Brian for always being so genuine and helpful in your videos, and for truly caring about women having the best, most healthy relationship possible. It's truly appreciated.
Omg even on the videos that I watch on topics that I wasnt really looking for advice on, I get something out of them! These things dont just apply to relationships, they are things that apply to being a respectful human being!
Vivian B respect our true-self and try not manipulate people. I know it's hard and it might take a whole life to learn it, how to always stay connect to yourself, show love to others but still disconnect to others
Thank you Brian. It is probably the best advice I've gotten in life. And I've been around for many years, and made many mistakes in my relationships. Keep videoing and I will seek your books. You're an excellent teacher.
What an incredible video! Very, very important to one's wholeness as an individual. I've been one of those women who lost myself in a relationship, who became trapped in codependency. You're spot on when you say how much more difficult it is to regain your self esteem after such a relationship ends which it always will. I appreciate you and your wisdom concerning relationships. The difficult subjects are the ones I most want to hear. Truth above all else. Thank you!
This is the best relationship video programme I have watched so far.It should be used for talks about dating to educate our children and also for advising those seeking marriage.Way to go!🥰
Honestly, I can't thank you enough for this. I've been tired of reading things such as "you shouldn't accept bad behavior" without giving an example of how we should react. Obviously I reacted in all the ways you said we shouldn't, so I really appreciate being specific.
That is a great message ! I learned most of these concepts through trial and error. Good things to know & be able to practice finally though after learning through my life experiences. I naturally wish someone had shared these with me in my teens.
I think that this video is on the top tier of what I love and want to follow through. Thank you Brian.... more powers to you and to us strong women. This is what I’m going through right now. You are right we need to understand that both of us in the relationship are still two different beings that have our own worlds and if we respect and understand that clearly we’re going through the right path!
This is so spot on, Brian. I always saw it as compromise in a relationship. But, it was clearly my losing my sense of self. I blamed vulnerability for the disappearance of my personality and the ultimate decline and fall of the relationship. But it is much more likely that I was giving my power away in fist fulls, from the beginning, by allowing him to steer the vehicle and take care of everything.
You are very good at what you do and to be honest probably the best relationship/ interpersonal relationship and psychological advice I’ve ever encountered. Me and my partner are going through a bad patch and it’s so east to get caught up in your own mind. This has given me so much insight into how I’m thinking about things incorrectly and behaving in the wrong way. Thank you so much.
oh yes! this is me! I used to wait for a man to desire me in order for me to feel good about myself. Sad! thanks so much for these teachings. I've learnt so much. God bless you
Wow... This is SO GOOD... Such a deep wisdom nugget you've casually and generously shared with us here!! I couldn't be more grateful 🙏💖😍 Thank you so much!! I got into a co dependant relationship myself, and found myself nodding along to everything... It's still a struggle, but I'm finally starting to get it. Better late than never, at 33 eh?
I like your videos so much Brian! You are so sincere, so calm and sooo true. I like your videos, because they are clear, without pictures or music, because you don’t need them. Your speech includes everything and ony important things. Every single sentence matters. Keep doing videos like this 👍♥️ I watch them every tume when I feel having some relationship trobles and your videos really help me to relise many important things. Thank you! 🌟
One of my favourites, and it looks a mere coincidence, but appeared on the right time.. the time i needed to look out for me, the time i need to find myself for who i really am!!! for me..
Excellent words! I'm so glad I got into this channel cause Brian explains true rules in relations, his speech and messages are clear and understandable. Thank you for this work, my respect.
Thank you Brian Nox. I enjoyed listening to you. I hope I can always follow your lead and have a relationship that is sharing instead of manipulating.🌹🌴
I can put this guy's videos on and fall asleep listening to his voice. He is so soothing, intelligent and calming to listen to. What a great teacher.♥️ I bet he is a good father too. I wonder if he is married? Lol
![Eminem - Houdini [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/22tVWwmTie8/mqdefault.jpg)
“If we accept bad behavior from out partners and we don’t take a stand because we fear their reactions, then they’ll do it forever.”
Right & then they either end up leaving or ghosting u
Exactly ❤️
Exactly ❤️
So TRUE!
“Don’t be dependent on anyone to feel good”
Thank you..
“You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free”.
well Said :)
feels free to leave and move on enjoying one after another.. leaving alone the person who loved them truly... becoz their purpose is over...much may be said about the self and one's identity but still the person who is loved becomes more important than oneself....they are given that space and freedom ultimately to be ditched leaving the person who loved them repenting...lost..empty...stupid
4:10 - 4:50 "When we fear their reaction, When we adapt to their reaction we are no longer ourselves and no good can ever come from that.".... This line right here clicked.
And doesn't that mean you have a relationship with their reactions?
This sums it up: “Try running after someone in the street, and they’ll run away.”
Next time my 18-wheeler friend, with a trailer & Bobcat on the back, drives by - I'm running after his big rig with my arms wide open. He will stop. I'll let you know how it turns out...
Hahaha i laugh at this when i imagined but this is so true
My 18-wheeler friend never came back.
Damn, damn, damn.... I really needed to hear this. He gives such balanced, positive, non- manipulative advice. I also like his calm sensitive way of presenting things.
Indeed
True..hes awesome in explanation for us women!!
I strongly agree with you. ♥
Not essen Kult
Soo true!!
Stop needing their validation...don't ever lose yourself....set boundaries regardless of their reaction- don't live by their reaction..."I'm not willing to accept this kind of behavior- in order to be happy I need to be with someone who..." you don't have to give me that to me -I never want to feel pressure you into doing something you want to do- you have to be happy as well of course, and you choose how you want to live your life- you choose how you want to treat me- but I will make my decisions accordingly, I have to take care of myself- I want to be happy".
After the relationship matures and is permanent, it is important to NOT say those relationship "killing" things when angry. Say this to end a conflict which can be a lifelong help to last the years:... "you're probably right".... Then don't argue. Put it away. Your mate will learn over time that this works for both of you. Married for 45 years.
You have a deep understanding of human psychology, please do much, much more videos, books, blogs, you're brilliant
Shelley Davis ive never date someone but i realized that iam 28 years old
Absolutely agree with your comment 💯❗️
@sherlley davis, i absolutely agree with u..😍
I don't even have a man but ive learned so much on people in general from him!! Lol
Agreed!
It took me 20 years if marriage to figure this out!!!! He finally changed ..... COMPLETELY when I stopped chasing him.
Just wondering, how did he change after you stopped chasing him? Does he pay more attention to you now?
Brilliant! Chasing coming from a woman is flattering but, creepy, especially to a real man. I learned that the hard way.
How did you do it?
@@Donnadlongino
I started living my life as if he didn't matter. I got a life of my own that didn't did not revolve around him. Got involved in church and various community activities. found a life outside my home and he was in no longer my priority. When he would start acting up or treating me badly, I told him I wanted a divorce. Even though I didn't really, I had enough and I was ready to go through with it rather than living my life in misery.
@@csassoni1992 that respect thing doesn't work for everyone for the fact is they will take the advantage of you you could pour out your heart and give the best of your best and you still woke up what you need I had to walk out for good but I'm glad this work for you cuz no one should feel like the relationship is one-sided it should be equal I guess when you stop from catering to him he woke up good for you
Best advice one person can EVER give you for a long-term and sustainable love!!! Married 30 years now and we both had to learn these lessons the hard way, over and over again bc at times...you will both become co-dependent. Aging parents, death, children, illness and part time or full disabilities will come up so it can be a lot down the road in your relationships. Not to mention all of this on top of your jobs! When you start to depend on your spouse more than you should or worse, for everything...only a matter of time bf it falls apart. Life is long (if you're lucky) and it can be very hard and emotionally draining. Sometimes you just wanna come home and relax or be alone to recharge and if your needy spouse is always there waiting on you to pick them up and what they need emotionally every. single. day., it will NOT last folks! No matter how much love you have for a person, that is not sustainable. It will feel like coming home to yet another full time job. Resentment will build up and you'll bite each other's heads off and it can get ugly. So take his advise bc I sure wish our parents had taught us this growing up but we had to figure all of this out along the way, over and over again until we finally got it! Thanks for a FANTASTIC video ❤️💯 Don't bother arguing or trying to change each other bc it won't work and it's unloving. Only bring loving kind words, support and encouragement to your spouse and that will ensure a loving and happy relationship, which is the GOAL:) Nagging, blame games, etc...will just cause fights and push them further away. You both must learn to control your emotions and bite your tongues or politely take a break and come back to the calm conversation once you've calmed down. Anger, ugliness, unkind words, venting or speaking badly about your spouse, JUST DON'T DO IT! All these things create doubt, low self esteem, and so forth. Be loyal always! Unless there is abuse or other such circumstances obviously bc then you get out of there immediately! My 2 cents...and book worth of opinions anyway lol. Hope this helps the younger generation❤️
Thanks ❤ Always very valuable to hear from experience from others
At last I have found a 'relationship guru' worthy of the title xx
Yes! We have our own life. We have school, work, home, pets, church, friends and family. Our lovers are not a full time job.
Amen
Dr. Esther Perel gives a similar advice in her book: "Mating in Captivity. Unlocking Erotic Intelligence", where she states that it is so important to maintain our individual mystery, independence, and autonomy within our relationship in order to keep the flame of passion and curiosity going towards one another.
spot on!
“Trying to manipulate them is unloving”
I’ve been watching 6 or 7 relationship coaches for several months. THIS is the best gosh darn video I have watched EVER. :::: hits replay::::
On download 😅
This has been the best relationship advice I have ever heard in my entire life. Well done...wow
Ona aa yesss!!
It really is
More Brian's videos I watch causes that I am more depressed. Because I see the mistakes I do with love and relationships. I know that I'm a decent person to date - pretty, intelligent, funny, but also I'm very emotional and when I'm in love, I show it in a big way. It really hurts that in ordet to get a guy to like me, I can't be myself. It is like a curse, I would really like to be able to keep my distance and not to be so emotional.
Nika The Rat ✌️
I feel you verry much TT i'm in the same situation like you too. At least we can start to recognize this mistake, though I know its hard to improve
Veronika work on it..
Date at least two men at the same time, this will help you not to feel so anxious and desperate. It worked for me. No need to be intimate with either one, if you don't to.
I send you my blessing dear. May you find and be truly happy with the perfect partner for you.
“We try to disconnect ourselves from needing and seeking their validation.”
“We have to be able to express our feelings and what we want from that relationship without focusing on the reaction of our lovers.”
Now I’m taking notes here.
Yeseul Shin I’m literally writing notes down!!
In addition to all of this great information, I must say a key factor as well is "In order not to lose yourself in a relationship and who you are." You must absolutely know who you are. The good,bad, and the ugly things about yourself. So nobody can use it against you. Have power over you or make you feel less then.
Let them get close without losing ourselves in them. Both partners not depending on each other's validation and can be themselves.
This has explained every romantic relationship I’ve ever had,from a 26 year marriage to my current dating in my 50’s. So well put!
I never so clearly understood the connection between needing validation and being the authentic self. I realize my hard time being natural around the guy I was into was me wanting that reward so bad that I lost connection to myself and to the richness of the moment. I didn't have that mindset every time but whenever I did it sucked.. everything felt off because of my split energy.
I like this so much because I don't need to learn how to not be nervous. It's more like addressing my belief that I need love from this one person or else crumbs.. that feeling of smallness, me and my friend like to call "squashed squirrel."
Bringing all that energy back to me. Thanks so much for your talks...they feel sobering like a cold splash in the face😊
Alexandra Georgiades that’s awesome way of explaining things 🤣 . I am stealing Squirrel 🐿 image for when I see someone that I mistakenly put on a pedestal in the past .
@@larisabellydance2492 hahaha I'm glad. It is a vivid reminder!
It's pretty much about self love and self respect, because the most important person in your life is YOU.
I love these videos!! I was just talking with a girlfriend about this subject. I have also been needy and had my guy pull away from me. I put my phone on silent, I pulled away to find my strength again and he was come back more excited than ever. Thanks for this great reminder!
How long did it take?
Just because I love the taste of the choclate cake-I am not miserable when I dont eat one.
X Res 👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾👌🏾
Men are just desserts!
Tell me more about yourself...
You absolutely right.
The only way to test the relationship is to disconnect.
Thank You..You are great...I am a female and it worked.
Excellent video!!! So powerful and true!!!
I so appreciate U~
I'm going thru a break up right now bc on my end I acted needy, controlling, demanding, manipulative and hurtful towards him bc of my own fears that were triggered.
I definitely always wanted /needed his validation and blamed him for the way "he made me feel" when in reality I chose to feel the way I did. I'm just realizing this, I've always blamed others for the way I feel.
Everything u spoke about here really hit home. 😪
I will watch this over and over again as it has really helped me to better understand my part in the relationship.
Thank u so very much for creating this great video!!!
🌬🙏🏻☺️💓👍🏻
Whispering Wind WOW. You just had a profound moment of moving from Victim to Owner, moving from fixed mindset to growth mindset. Good on you! Be kind to yourself. You’ll now see how relationships will be much easier by simply shifting your mindset. Welcome to your freedom!
Hello Geert, these are golden nuggets you share with us. I recently fell hard for someone, the first person to caress my cheek in 10 years. I have become needy, lowered my value, gave away my power through fear of losing them. The way you state expressing our boundaries is beautiful, dignified, and respectful to both myself and him.
Thank you. He has since pulled away as I sit home wondering what he is doing and with whom. It hurts.
May I make a suggestion? It is about the title of this video. I think I would say Instead of "Making..." because it implies some of force of manipulation, I would say "Helping our lover to desire.."
Cheers from 🇨🇦
You are the best relationship advisor I heard so far.
In my world as a trans and growing up missing my parents advice,specially my mom sinve she died when i was still 5yrs old..brian nox makes me understand how to loved..thank u brian
I wish you can make more videos for us women who do need your advice.. thank you and more power to you Brian. ❤️💋💋💋 Love you loads..
You are absolutely right! Great! If you need someone, you cannot really love him. I wanna stay the queen of my own life. So my partner can become and stay my king. That's it. I high-quality relationship of two independent, self-confident and also self-loving persons is a kind of queen-king relationship.
This is probably your best video Brian. My new BF is pulling away. Or at least that's what I feel he's doing... And we started the relationship because he's been chasing me for months. When I finally gave up he started pulling away. I told him I need him to send me messages in the morning. I need him to reply to my messages. I said this was because feeling ignored made me feel nervous. He seemed to have acknowledged my feelings at first but then he went on doing it more and more. Yesterday I told him I felt ignored by him and he laughed..Today I received no text from him. I'm confused but your video came right on time. I needed to hear this.
Brian Knox, your guidance is amazing! I knew I was doing some things wrong just by the way I was feeling during, and after, the actions that really didn't suit me or the situation! The problem is I never got the feed back to know WHAT I was doing wrong! Your advice just feels better, and makes complete sense! Thank you! Finding your channel has completely changed my direction in my life! I was truly at a point of just staying alone!
I love the way you smoothly talk about one point that merges into the other. Your explanations are great and easy to understand with a rational AND emotional mindset. Thank you for your videos! I love watching them :) Keep it up!
Thanks Brian. You’re officially my number one Relationship counsellor.
Your messages are very powerful and enlightening. I wish everyone who are lost in a relationship can see this. Thank you Brian!💕💕💕
Such a great video!! I just used this skill in the breaking up conversation with a date/ boyfriend yesterday. I feel so good, worthy of the best love, only 100%! Then I looked back to this video. Love is a skill we need to continuously learn and grow!!
Thank you, Brian. Please continue to make relationship videos such as this. They're extremely helpful!
I'll say it again , very very good advice. The very best advice ive ever heard. I will watch this often. thank you so much.
One cannot get over your videos once they watch them and cannot help watching them at least 10 times! I will watch it again and again! ‘What you run after, actually runs away’ soooo true!
I love this concept,”Separate your feelings from their reactions”, what an eye opening notion..Thank U! 🌟
Talk about getting the 'hard knocks' lesson to keep one's relationship and stay in a sane mind always! This video has reawakened the giant inside me. Thank you so much Brian, great job here😆👍
Are you single
This is one of the single best videos I’ve ever seen on relationship advice. Only emotionally mature people can adopt these practices, but it’s absolutely vital for a quality relationship to thrive. Well done!
Wowww! Your deep, powerful insight blows my mind. I had to hear many points 2-3x as they hit the nail of where I'm at. Everything you said from beginning to end is pure gold. True mind and eye-opener. This may be the best relationship tip I've ever come across!! So grateful to see your video at this most opportune time. Thanks, Brian!
Thank you for your videos of help me a lot
Amazing revelation !!! The best video I have heard so far on relationships 👍🏻👍🏻
Looking forward to such enlightening messages
Ikr :-))))
Very well said!! Our own self worth and self love ❤️ is so much more than NEEDING some one!!!
This is filled to the brim with pure wisdom. Going to listen multiple times to this. After listening to this I think giving yourself the validation and affirmation that you need puts us in a position of strength and wholeness.
This is so powerful!
While I hear all he's saying to be true, it makes me so sad to realize that in order to keep someone interested in you, all these rules and phycological games have to be applied. It hurts to hear that you just can't simply wholly and deeply love someone with heart and mind open. I have so much love to give but gotta be limited to the rules and game of chase. I'm so tired of playing that game.
FooDogs - I feel the same. I hate being stifled when I can't be myself around my bf because he doesn't show me any affection or love because of what he went through as a child. I feel I'm trying to punish him for not giving me what I need or want. It shouldn't have to be that way. I realized that this is the way he is and I can't change him, I'm not his therapist. I want to walk away but I love him too much. Sometimes I think if I do leave him, maybe he'll change.
Truly Awesome advice
Us women need to realize that we all have a past and the older we are the more baggage we have to deal with. Part of true love is to know when to walk away. Let him grow. Be there as a friend when he needs you, but too if you are not getting your needs met, that is when resentment/frustration comes in. We have to be strong and step away and give him the space to grow.
I feel like years of emotional investment into a guy who won't appreciate us or fulfill our needs is a million times worse but to each their own I guess...
I think he is talking more about the natural laws of attraction and trying to help people to resonate within them for the most successful relationship possible. I have had relationships that needed none of this knowledge because they worked effortlessly and I have been in the opposite which I destroyed because I didn't understand these natural laws of attraction. Some people grow up with good role models (parents) who they learn all this stuff from, while everyone else has to learn it on their own or suffer the consequences. I am happy at 56 to finally learn this stuff. It all makes total sense. I am like duh. 🤔
so brilliant Brian...thank you. you dont know how much you have made me realized, and im sure also to thousands of people who have watched and heard you through these blogs like me, you have helped us. please continue doing this, educating people on relationships and saving them from psychological trauma or dilemma and emotional confusion. God bless you
All of this totally makes sense and is definitely something that I need to work on.....but it’s just so hard sometimes!!
Hey Brian, icant believe that only a video can make me feel so empowered and I am now able get out of my depression due to insecurity in a relationship....thanks a ton..it really made my life soooo much easier happier and satisfying
He is ANOINTED in this field!!! PHENOMENAL JOB!!! Thank You so much for dropping this KNOWLEDGE!!! 😎💞☺️
Thank you so much for this great video! Such an important message. I always find it so hard to remember these things when in a relationship. I start out being "myself" in the beginning of the relationship, but then I tend to lose myself as I adapt to the other person's feelings & reactions. This lead eventually leads me to feel frustrated and resentful.
Nailed it!!! I went thru this with my significant other...after 19 years we are trying & giving our relationship another chance. It took me walking away several times before he realized I'm not going there to that co-defendant unhealthy crazy anymore. Everything you said is so true & it almost destroyed my relationship. But I woke up & fell back in love with myself & him & knew things had to change & that had to start with myself & what I was going to allow & accept. Thank you!!
Beautifully said Brian. This is very true: maintaining one's individuality while synchrozing love in harmony.
It’s a dance of flow and inner self alliance
I totally get the message but it’s super sad when I’m thinking about people who suffer from mental illnesses like f.e. BPD or anxiety who needs a lot of reassurance from the other person and it’s not because of neediness- it’s just because their brain tells them awful stories about themselves and people they love and they can’t fight it alone. And I know it’s kind of a different situation but it’s still very sad that it super hard to find a person who will be with you and who will support you... when you can’t act perfectly (or just good enough) like in those videos :’)
Edit: nothing wrong with this video tho, quite contrary haha Love your channel ^^
Thank you
What a fabulous combination in Brian´s personality : wisdom with a great sense of humour! Love it
Thank you so much Brian,I was completely down today and this video came at the right time....
Fany Francis hope you’re feeling better now 😘
Oceanmama Hi,yeah I'am feeling much better,thanks...
The same Situation! ☺️
Brian is such an intelligent human being. I salute you! Thank you for imparting these knowledges to us. ♥
6:19-7:21 Most powerful advice I've ever been given. Thank you🦋
Wow! I know this is an old video but holy smokes I needed this so badly and didn't even realize it until after the first 3 minutes! It may be an old video but it's a GREAT one as well and advice like this NEVER gets old! I have been with my partner for a little over 11 years now (we had our 11th in August) and it is so easy to lose certain aspects of a relationship after so many years if you're not paying attention. So obviously I'm here because we haven't been paying attention and we've lost some things and I feel like I've been running in circles trying to save us, this video is already helping see why I am running in circles. I am VERY invested in my relationship, we have built an ENTIRE LIFE TOGETHER so naturally I am terrified of losing that life and my best friend and because of that I think I've been pushing him too hard.
Thank you Brian for always being so genuine and helpful in your videos, and for truly caring about women having the best, most healthy relationship possible. It's truly appreciated.
I love your nurturing, positive and constructive advice.
Omg even on the videos that I watch on topics that I wasnt really looking for advice on, I get something out of them! These things dont just apply to relationships, they are things that apply to being a respectful human being!
Vivian B respect our true-self and try not manipulate people. I know it's hard and it might take a whole life to learn it, how to always stay connect to yourself, show love to others but still disconnect to others
Thank you Brian. It is probably the best advice I've gotten in life. And I've been around for many years, and made many mistakes in my relationships. Keep videoing and I will seek your books. You're an excellent teacher.
What an incredible video! Very, very important to one's wholeness as an individual. I've been one of those women who lost myself in a relationship, who became trapped in codependency. You're spot on when you say how much more difficult it is to regain your self esteem after such a relationship ends which it always will.
I appreciate you and your wisdom concerning relationships. The difficult subjects are the ones I most want to hear. Truth above all else. Thank you!
This is the best relationship video programme I have watched so far.It should be used for talks about dating to educate our children and also for advising those seeking marriage.Way to go!🥰
Oh my God this man is so articulate it's unbelievable.Thankyou Brian.
Honestly, I can't thank you enough for this. I've been tired of reading things such as "you shouldn't accept bad behavior" without giving an example of how we should react. Obviously I reacted in all the ways you said we shouldn't, so I really appreciate being specific.
“Don’t lose ourself “
That is a great message ! I learned most of these concepts through trial and error. Good things to know & be able to practice finally though after learning through my life experiences. I naturally wish someone had shared these with me in my teens.
I think that this video is on the top tier of what I love and want to follow through. Thank you Brian.... more powers to you and to us strong women.
This is what I’m going through right now. You are right we need to understand that both of us in the relationship are still two different beings that have our own worlds and if we respect and understand that clearly we’re going through the right path!
This is so spot on, Brian. I always saw it as compromise in a relationship. But, it was clearly my losing my sense of self. I blamed vulnerability for the disappearance of my personality and the ultimate decline and fall of the relationship. But it is much more likely that I was giving my power away in fist fulls, from the beginning, by allowing him to steer the vehicle and take care of everything.
You are very good at what you do and to be honest probably the best relationship/ interpersonal relationship and psychological advice I’ve ever encountered. Me and my partner are going through a bad patch and it’s so east to get caught up in your own mind. This has given me so much insight into how I’m thinking about things incorrectly and behaving in the wrong way. Thank you so much.
Thank you for sharing straightforward advice in understandable language. It makes total sense & will improve my relationships no end 😊
In deep gratitude with this powerful message! Blessings 😇💟
Ive just watched several videos. I love your psychological approach. This is the best advice on the web for all human interaction. Ty❤
I can't say how thankful i am to you right at this moment. U made me realize things... Thank you brian
I’m so in love with his voice and the way he talks! ❣️
Thanks Brian for your help and welcome back
Thank you so much Brian! As always, you hit the nail in the head! Loved it! Tremendous helpful for me!
oh yes! this is me! I used to wait for a man to desire me in order for me to feel good about myself. Sad! thanks so much for these teachings. I've learnt so much. God bless you
I love it how you make everything so clear and persuasive. Thank you❤️
Wow... This is SO GOOD... Such a deep wisdom nugget you've casually and generously shared with us here!! I couldn't be more grateful 🙏💖😍 Thank you so much!!
I got into a co dependant relationship myself, and found myself nodding along to everything... It's still a struggle, but I'm finally starting to get it. Better late than never, at 33 eh?
I like your videos so much Brian! You are so sincere, so calm and sooo true. I like your videos, because they are clear, without pictures or music, because you don’t need them. Your speech includes everything and ony important things. Every single sentence matters. Keep doing videos like this 👍♥️ I watch them every tume when I feel having some relationship trobles and your videos really help me to relise many important things. Thank you! 🌟
I like what you've said about boundaries... Boundaries is needed in all relationships...
SO HELPFUL, JUST THANK YOU SM! GLAD I FOUND YOU!! U RE THE BEST SO FAR! MUCH LOVE❤
One of my favourites, and it looks a mere coincidence, but appeared on the right time.. the time i needed to look out for me, the time i need to find myself for who i really am!!! for me..
One of the best videos you've made. Powerful messages. Thank you.
Excellent words!
I'm so glad I got into this channel cause Brian explains true rules in relations, his speech and messages are clear and understandable. Thank you for this work, my respect.
Hi @Brian Nox. You are an amazing gift in this world. Thank you!
Wow Wow Wow. That is one of the best messages I have heard. As a recovering codependent, it hits home. Thank you.
It's so true.... I love your brain Mr.knox. I need to hear more videos from you please.. Thank you for helping me/us. I seriously love the last part!
Thank you Brian Nox. I enjoyed listening to you. I hope I can always follow your lead and have a relationship that is sharing instead of manipulating.🌹🌴
Thank you.The way he speaks is very clear and understandable.Very wise advice in here.
Hi. You explain really powerful ideas in such a simple way. Thank you so much!
I can put this guy's videos on and fall asleep listening to his voice. He is so soothing, intelligent and calming to listen to. What a great teacher.♥️ I bet he is a good father too. I wonder if he is married? Lol
Thank you for sharing all your wisdom with us. You’re so funny “just run after someone in the street, see how they react” 😂😂🤣
I strongly agree. Lovingly and respectfully well put. Thank you for your depths of care