Father Knows: Putting in the Effort || Father Knows Something Podcast
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- Опубликовано: 10 июл 2024
- Welcome back to Father Knows Something! Real People. Real Stories. Real Dad advice with a dash of ADHD, and maybe a couple of millennials chiming in from time to time to add their takes.
This weeks episode has Jerry and Justin responding to some great write-ins all centering around the theme of putting in the effort. From someone who's friend's significant others dislike them, to someone who feels their friendship is slowly crumbling, to someone who is wondering if they should let their boyfriend's lack of effort slide, effort plays a critical role in this wide variety of issues. As always we would love your help and give your advice to these listeners in the comments!
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Index:
00:00 -- Start
2:52 -- Story 1
12:24 -- Story 2
25:22 -- Story 3
32:32 -- Story 4
42:30 -- Story 5
I want to thank Morgan for sharing Jerry with us. I disconnected from my dad years ago due to abuse / boundary violations and I truly feel so blessed to be a fly on the wall and listen to a loving father's advice on the ups and downs of life. Love for the FKS & THT family!
Writer #2: In kindness I say if a whole group of people don’t like you then it’s probably you. And you should care. You should care about your choices in life and how they effect others. You should care whether or not your are a friend worth having because that speaks to your character and in the end that’s all we have is our character. Our heart. Work on yourself. Believe in change. Adopt new habits and humble yourself. Seek help if you need support in this journey. Start the journey to become a friend worth having and keeping. It’s ok to mess up but it’s never ok to stay in the mess.
Yes! Be the friend you want and need. ♥️
Not necessarily. Yes and no. Some people are just bad people and spin a narrative, and simple-minded people follow it. I had a friend like that who turned on me and started to spread misinformation about what happened between us/and about me when i wasn't around to defend myself. I am also not open about my drama like that, so i had no idea at first. She turned people against me because im quiet, and they talked to her more. I got her a job, and both of us were looking at a higher position, and that's when shit started to crumble. My best friend turned into an entire stranger who was manipulative and cut throat, simply because I had more experience in the job and she was afraid I'd get the position over her.... and she had an issue with me potentially being a rank higher. I commonly worked under her at times in the past with horse stuff, and she had some issues with control since i met her.
So sometimes people spin stuff in their favor. I also have seen friend groups that pick an escape goat to trash on.... which never made sense to me, but it happens a lot.
I LOVE the dynamic between Justin and Dad xx
Damn Justin thanks for the new fear unlocked. A needle in space can take us out!!😵💫☠️😂😂
Don’t worry bb! Our precious atmosphere will burn that lil fucker up before it can kill us all 🥰
Story two... I agree with Justin that is is V weird that the bf of her friend would be mad about something that happened years ago and it didn't even happen to him!?! Unless of course that friend really never got over it and she trash talks op to the bf. 🤔
To all of you, a little note wishing all of you a day that this guy appreciates all of you.
Girl number 2 is a walking red flag.. I get that we all make mistakes but if a whole friend group doesn’t like you.. you’re the problem. If you’re the common denominator then maybe you should look at yourself.
Not necessarily. They are ALL red flags. Poor friendships and the girl has made some weird decisions in the past, but what type of toxic friendship group is this when they obviously all talk about her behind her back and instead of using communication skills like adults they just distance themselves or their partners build a hate for them. That immature in itself. They should be adults and voice their concerns instead of being fake.
@@Ohsvm that too.
I definitely felt like there’s more to the story. Whether OP if in the dark or has left something out.
I think they should step away from these friends and move on to new friendships with kindness, maturity and honesty.
Spoken like a true bully 🤷🏻♀️
how can her bf be best friends with her ex bf who hates her???
I love how much you love Space, Justin! I would love hearing a space show!!
It’s a good thing there’s always two perspectives because it was nice to see Justin’s view on story #2. I feel he’s right on the money!!
Story number 5 reminds me a little bit of my experience after I graduated high school. I had dated my first boyfriend for only 6 months and he broke up with me during that summer. I started the application process to the strict religious college that he would attend just so I might still have a chance with him (ridiculous, looking back at that). I'm so glad that I never finished that application, because none of that was what I wanted. I felt kind of lonely for my first year of college, but I ended up going to a place that furthered my career, and where my forever person, who is much, much better for me, met me. So it really is important to make choices for you, especially when you're so young and you have so many experiences to have. You never know what amazing new opportunities will unfold for you.
(Edited to format for grammar)
I’ve been having a very difficult time becoming more independent and cutting ties with my parents; even from the start, I appreciate the perspectives that y’all are giving. The distance encouraging healthier friendships also applies in family scenarios a lot for sure.
Always happy to get here early, love to the whole pod fam ❤
I would love an outer space episode! That would be awesome!. 😃
I’m interested in a space show! 2:17
Me too! ♥️ love space talk
This episode gave me a lot of food for thought. I'm 24F, been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4 years and things are really starting to get serious. I'm trying to consider if I'm really feeling fulfilled and if this is really the partnership that I want to continue to invest time in. There are a lot of conflicting voices. I'm going through a rough patch right now with my career so I haven't had time for the last 2 weeks to see him, but I do feel like he's my rock and he's my support. We laugh so much together and he's so kind and I admire him a lot. Im honestly confused but I'll try to take it a day at a time and not overthink too much!
relationships can be sticky as hell, but i think if you can look at your life another 4 years from now and can imagine yourself feeling fulfilled and whole without him, or if you can’t imagine him keeping up with the growth you know you’ll go through in that time, then maybe he isn’t your life partner
however, if when you look at your life and can’t imagine it feeling as full with him not being there, can’t imagine life without 4 years of growth together, then maybe you got something good going and your brain is hitting the anxious self-destruct button because serious can be scary and sometimes it’s hard to find peace with contentment when you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop…however you know him and your relationship best. you know if he is good for you in the long run. you know the kind of person you’ve become alongside him and you know your needs and how well he may or may not fulfill them.
i wish you so much luck, and i love your name!
Story 4: Read about the 5 Love Languages. It could very well be that you and your boyfriend are speaking two different love languages, and that he is showing you love, but you don't recognize it for what it is. I went through this as well, and you're right, it can be really painful feeling like he's not putting in effort. However, he may feel pained that he feels he IS putting in effort but it never feels like enough. My impression is a lack of communication and understanding that is a normal growing pain in a long term relationship. Try out this concept and see if it makes things easier for you both.
And there are more than 5 love languages! On the path to figuring out yours, you will notice if he's interested in showing you love in the first place.
Good morning from Spain
That last story he never thought she would do it. I am in that situation now with my husband where I spoke very clearly on my want to get out of where we are living because yes the cost of living is very low but jobs are scarce and there is only a big race track near us and that's it. It's fine if you are looking for a retirement town but somebody 40 doesn't want to be in the house all the time. I been married for 10 years and have a 17 year old son. My advice is if you want to travel do it before you are locked down
Yess space show pls
For story 2- if your friends partner doesn't like you over an issue that happened a long time ago that your friend is supposedly over consider the fact that your friend might have shit talked you and potentially continues to do so to their partner
Are we still doing the sock 🧦 feature? I miss those!
Jerry needs sock merch
I agree, any design ideas?
@Jerry Siegel holly merch!!!
@@jerrysiegel3354everyone's face and maybe one with rockets or one that is like space!! I'm excited for the space episode when you guys make it. ♥️
@@jerrysiegel3354Definitely one with Holly!
I relate completely to story #3. At one point I had a restraining order against my mom and step dad, and my bio dad has nothing to do with me but expects me to worship him. He’s very well off and lives in a home with 3 fully furnished guest rooms with 3 private baths, and I’m living in an abusive marriage that I’m trying to get out of, yet he refuses to let me and my daughter (his only bio daughter and granddaughter) stay with him so we can escape this living hell. Yet he supports all 4 of his step kids and their families in some way. It’s such a crushing experience.
Story #1: i had a friendship fall out from may 2022-Jan 2023. Roommate C sounded a lot like my former best friend (of almost 10 years). She would try to be understanding about our friend group’s life changes but still made it about herself saying we deserved a better friend. There were many behaviors that were questionable the during entire fall out. Currently I have a close friend who I haven’t talked to much recently due to how she’s acting, but I figure she’s going through something and I’m glad she has other friends she can go clubbing with (I am not the type). We both listen to a podcast that talked about how as we grow older, we won’t be in the same “season of life” as all our friends. That we won’t agree sometimes with what they’re doing, but we reconnect again, or are just there for them when in need. I’ve been learning a lot in the past year about how to navigate relationships and getting to know myself on a deeper level.
For the last story-- please please do not give up your travel plans for your boyfriend! My mom gave up her dream college for my dad. My parents are happy and have been in love for over 30 years, but she still talks longingly about the college she dropped out of to move home and marry my dad. When I met my now husband, I made it very clear that both of us would need full ability to follow our dreams because I refuse to live with those regrets for the rest of my life. Over the past 5 years (we've been married for almost 2), my husband has been my biggest cheerleader while I worked toward my bachelor's. We have traveled together, and he has also supported me going on multiple study abroad/research trips without him. We are about to move out of state for my masters program and I think he is more excited than I am. Once I graduate, he is willing to move anywhere we have to in order for me to get the job of my dreams. I have been able to pursue my career and build the life I've always dreamed of, but it's even better because I have the love of my life by my side. We have had to make compromises and sacrifices because our needs/wants are equal, but no matter how many compromises we've made, neither of us have had to sacrifice our dreams. If you don't take this opportunity, you WILL regret it. If he is the love of your life, you will work it out together and he will, in some way, support you on this journey. If he is not, then maybe it is time to move on. No matter your decision, I hope you have wonderful travels!
for the last story: my best friend was in that predicament, she is a nomad, and that's her true calling she works very hard for her dream of traveling and made a plan that took a couple of years to complete, she is in a very long time relationship, they are really strong together for years, he is very hard working too and along with her he had his own dreams when the time came, they talk and she left alone, for like 2 to 3 months (Christmas and new years) she travels Europe alone, in January he surprise her with tickets to come to see him, and to show her that he was coming with her, he needed a little more time to tiet things up, he left with two digital jobs and all his stuff taking care of, now they have been traveling for 5 months, and are very committed and happy. With this I just wanna say, there are many people who are gonna worried about you "This is your person, you are living him, how are you gonna choose this dream" If he is truly your person he is gonna loves the part of you that needs to be free and make dreams a reality, man thinks in a different way than us, they need to plan to guide to organize, talk to him, you are gonna be ok, he is gonna realize that love comes with changes that force us to grow, and you are there, you are ready to fly, and if you go and he stays he is gonna miss every smile, and story, and experience that's gonna made you that wonderful woman that he wants as a partner for the rest of his life
A outer space episode would be cool👀
Fantastic as usual
Number 5's boyfriend is good not paying rent, and isn't willing to share the costs of living in a big city. 5, you shouldn't need to keep paying to live in an expensive city, if you don't need to. He also, isn't willing to meet you halfway, you dont need to break up, but you should put yourself first
Soooo…is Jerry’s girlfriend joining the family by coming on the podcast soon ? 😊
Has anyone else tried to use the hellofresh codes and I still always owe like $40 at the end?? choosing the lowest amount of meals, or 16 like it says
Please make a space show!
First!
Jerry's mom got into Juilliard and turned it down to become a stay-at-home mom?? I understand that she made the decision of her own volition but what a huge loss that is 😢
Maybe you would think so. But everything is about perspective. She's got a beautiful family and beautiful kids. I think u may need more details before drawing conclusions.