Why Narcissistic Abuse Leaves You in Constant Angst
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- Опубликовано: 16 сен 2024
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What he describes is terrible, but it also relieves me profoundly to know that these feelings are not the real me. And if they resulted from how others treated/conditoned me for over decades it must mean that I'm incredibly strong just to be still alive. It also means I can UNDO it
Yes. Itd be helpful to know HOW lol
Yes❤❤❤
He never said anything about fixing it.
Check out internal family systems/IFS books, you tube, etc. Richard Schwartz
Not so easily
C-PTSD
Oh another alphabet new word. Ugh
@@jackiepowell7513 grow up
@jackiepowell7513 Oh another apoplectic new Karen. Ugh.
@@jackiepowell7513 Basically a new name for an old malady.
I have been diagnosed with this. I didn't understand wth was wrong with me. Recovery is taking quite some time.
Suffered panic attacks after knowing a manipulative, abusive, very insecure, malignant narcissist who took out his problems on others, incl. me. I never had panic attacks or anxiety before. I was the most upbeat, positive and confident person. Afterwards, I became the opposite.
Me too
I would see people talking and maybe glance at me, my mind would make me believe they laugh at me and i would have rough time letting it go and realizing these people not looking at me, do not laugh at me, idk what the hell was wrong wih me.... 😢
@@Lollylovestealth One can develop paranoia from the constant threats & fear... 😢
MALIGNANTS ARE JUST LOVELY -- ARENT THEY?
I EXPERIENCED SOMETHING SIMILAR -- AND I AM NOT JOKING WHEN I SAY THAT THE DAMAGE THEY DO IS PRETTY FUCKING SEVERE
THIS KIND OF EVIL AND MALEVOLENCE AND ABUSE WILL CHANGE YOU -- POSSIBLY FOR GOOD
ONCE YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT TRAUMA DOES TO A PERSON -- YOU WILL MORE INCLINED TO BELIEVE THE VICTIM(S) OF SUCH A HEINOUS CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY
@@mary_canary in school 4 boys ridiculed me, so maybe once i realized i am not there anymore ....like i hated school and avoided it , got fake notes from dr.
That explains a lot. I used to think I was “addicted to chaos,” or created chaos whenever things got too calm.
Humans like what is familiar even if it’s toxic. It’s why we watch the same movies over and over too
Same
This was me as well.
Getting panic attacks my whole life
I was calling it: addicted to adventure😢
Those 14 years, and the subsequent 14 make more sense. I'm also disabled with chronic illnesses that have no cure. As of 3 days ago I'm homeless, penniless, and for the first time in my life, jobless.
I've ignored everything and just focused on survival for so long, I broke. I'm glad to see this info readily available. I was too ashamed to say anything, and too gaslit to think anyone would Believe a word I said.
Whatever comes next, I'll get through it. I didn't think I was worth the effort for a very long time. I don't believe that anymore.
So, Thank you.
Thanks for sharing. This really hit home with me. I also struggle with chronic illness- endometriosis & CIRS from living in toxic mold. But my nervous and autoimmune systems have been wrecked from chronic trauma/abuse. ❤
Lots of people can relate@@insertmyidentityhere
Hope you get vitamins and use all 100% natural, to make that chronic go away and i pray universe bless you , your body mind and soul❤
Any drug use? Alcohol?
Wishing you happiness 💕
You can leave the perp but the abuse travels within you.
Wow, the timing of this video. I actually explained this to my dad about my mom's narcissistic abuse today. I'm very suspicious, but I seemed to have done something right, because my mom says she wants to go to therapy now. I'm very suspicious though.
ADD: it's probably important to add that about four years ago I started setting major boundaries with her, and ever since doing that I have THRIVED. Now, about two weeks ago I sent a message to my whole family about going full no-contact. There's been some action from my side for several years to set new boundaries and then prove to everyone that I can THRIVE 💪 I lost over 120 lbs, went back to school and got my degree, found a great job that I love, I cycle to work everyday and I'm getting even more physically healthy, I've been in therapy for years working on my own struggles. She can't tell anyone I'm a loser anymore (even though I NEVER was, but she convinced a lot of people that I was).
You didn't need to do all those things you've done to "improve" yourself for them.
You were/are already too good for them in the first place.
I hope it works out for you.
In my case (9 years no contact), while it has been an adjustment, I don't miss the chaos, ostracizing, triangulation, & the cruel, deliberate violation of my boundaries that they would not tolerate, themselves.
I can still love them, but from a distance while holding snake tongs.
I know somebody who went no contact with a narcissistic family member and the whole family turned against them.
@@oceansunset6147 I'm prepared for that.
@@oceansunset6147That’s exactly what a narcissistic family does. In time, they will turn on themselves because there must always be a scapegoat. I’ve seen it happen.
@@oceansunset6147 I'm already scapegoated by the family as a group, so I don't really have much to lose. They already keep up a narrative that I'm "broken" and cause so many problems for them. They can simply blame me from afar now. But, the truth is that my mother will become bored with nobody actually there for her to devalue, and she'll start targeting someone else. I can't do it anymore. She'll either have to scapegoat me from afar, or choose someone else.
Very true. The typical aftermath of prolonged exposure to a high threat/abusive environment is the HARDWIRING of your fight or flight reaction into a near constant 'on' state. Both your body and brain are on high alert at ALL times, and it can be VERY difficult to 'think' your way out of this, because an involuntary ALL of body reaction is involved. There is also a huge level of trauma, and pronounced inflammatory responses - linked into adrenal exhaustion - are very common, as are dissociative experiences, and other physical issues usually involving the digestive tract, lungs and heart. The person is essentially breaking down - and retreating internally - in the face of unsustainable stress. The stressor needs to be removed completely or minimized, the trauma acknowledged and released, the body nourished and healed, and the psyche allowed to feel safe enough to fully re-emerge. All of which is possible, but it is an ACTIVE ongoing process, because CPTSD and an overactive HPA axis can become so embedded - as a protective repsonse - that both your brain and body will routinely default to it, in spite of apparent progress. Recovery can take a long time, and you really have to be ready for the fight, and want to come out the other side. Because the other route, where maladaptive coping mechanisms are resorted, to is a dead end when it comes to healing.Though they may provide a certain level of relief, and allow you to survive in the moment, you will essentially be trapped by them, and locked into an unending cycle with little possibilty of ever breaking free. But breaking free is worth it. But you have to desire it with all your being.
Left 6 years ago after a 40 year marriage. I knew I had to leave or I would die of ill-health! I've since fallen into similar stressful relationships, however. Not any more! I've been a 'love addict'. I'm better off by myself on my own, finally. An epiphany of something I've struggled with for my entire adult life!
Fight, flight, OR FREEZE
Don't be surprised if at some point in your life, you just stop functioning. You've gone into the freeze response.
This needs to be pinned! ❤
Its a massive ball of anxiety in your stomach and throat
17 years of that shit. Im so glad i woke up and had the courage to leave. 5 years later and i still have so much healing to do
Your healing! KeepOn keeping on😊
So true I was abused by the ex husband and his narc family and my narc family also for decades. They nearly finished me off. 5 years ago I went NO CONTACT for life with the narc pack. Now I’m born again and slowly got me back. I found me again. I love me and my life now.
You've a new family now!
Welcome, keep us informed, we're here to help.
Omg the pending doom, it just comes out of nowhere!
Or having had one as a parent that actually thought the world was going to end like every 5 years, it kind of reinforces that feeling of dread for your whole life.
Impending doom, I sure can relate.
God bless!
liverfish: You and me both; the impending doom, the monster waiting around the corner, the inability to relax for very long, the constant 'high alert', the distrust of others, the aloneness, the tightness in the chest. I never let my guard down for long - if I do I suffer double, triple anxiety eventually.....what have I missed whilst I allowed myself to relaxed? What nasty thing have I missed that is going to get me? I'm so very tired.
You're not alone in this. I'm glad you shared - I feel less alone because you shared.
At almost 75 I still react to anyone's sudden movement especially if arms are flailed near me. A legacy from my mother in my childhood. Being told I was stupid, spurred me on to be a high achiever in my chosen career though. Albeit a little later on in life☺️
I resonate to your story, only it was my father. I’m almost 82 and still attend EMDR trauma therapy.
I have CPTSD and now an autoimune disease because my brain is in constant fight or flight - yes angst, fear, anxiety. My nervouse system is shot - I am wo rking on healing with exercise stretching and keto diet.
I have struggled with an auto-immune blood disorder for most of my life. I had a few trouble free years until I married a narcissist abuser. After ten years I freed myself but faced crippling migraines and blood count issues like never before. I did not make the connection between narcissistic abuse and the health issues. Thank you for your post.
@@dianemoxon9809 Sure. Health is not just eating right and exercising - quality of relationshiips is vital - love support peace joy trust kindness respect genuine caring and concern gentleness.
One year is not long term....I have lived for a decade and it breaks you. Thank you for all your research on the topic. It's really helps me understand where I was stranded.
I'm at 3yrs. I'm ruined. Even wish I was back where I was. It ended when he died of "accidentalal" co2 poison. He did live for 3 was. His narc kid blamed me for his death.
18 years here.
@@truffaut650truffaut6 May you recover and heal soon. 🙏 Have faith in yourself.
@@loissapariti1287 how did he really go? I had to deal with a Narc for 5 years but thank God he left..
Not feeling secure, and wow. This makes so much sense.
FYI 18 years of narcissistic abuse gave me a brain tumor and a stroke ! I am partially paralyzed.
The danger of trying to work things out with a narcissist needs to be exposed loud and clear! BTW I prayed.
I think there are people who still believe that narcissists can change for better. They only get better at manipulating and gaslighting!
What should I do then can't leave
@@fatimaahmed445 start by google Dr David E. Clarke PhD.
@@fatimaahmed445 don’t leave nor show you want to leave. Know that you are being watched and spied on, even your phone and computer is monitored. Be very careful. Hide your phone. Never share your password.
Google Dr David E. Clark, PhD
I have to keep reminding myself...i am safe....the Angst is very real❤
Holy shit! ive called this for many years now! 'Brace for the worst! If it doesn't happen it's a good day! So many sayings! Thanks captain 👌
I dealt with the abuse for 10 months and I have felt angst and constant anxiety ever since..other people do not understand going through the abuse with them leaves you with this trauma response.
Nobody does unless they have been through it.
People understand and see PHYSICAL ABUSE, But not this because they can't see and the Narc train u to think that no one would believe U.
I slept with a light ever since I was a teenager. I had a terrible fear of the dark. After permanently separating from my mother, and finding a safe place to live, I now prefer to sleep in the dark. After decades of abuse, I feel hope.
Still sleep with light..I'm 70.
I'm opposite. Sounds in the night, cause me to be too awake! So darkness & silence is comforting for sleep for me. I'm highly sensitised to light & noises in the night.
More than a year...over 30 years... basically all I knew until I woke up and left. Hardest and best decision of my life.
'LIVED' like that for 45years
Thank you for clear explanations. Long term fan.
I lived in survival mode for ages going out with a narcissist and it made me be more self aware and I could feel I was in constant fear and sadness, apprehensive , stressed it was sometimes very sattle but it was always kind of there. I thought that is what real love felt like but later found out that it was not love but fear... I eventually learned to surrender and leave it to Go to deal with this relationship that made me unhappy and I did not dare to scape from, so that helped me a lot to stop me from worrying and being so affraid. I got my confidence back but increased. Basically by leaving my situation to God I became DETACHED so much more relaxed and careless about the outcome of things. which made my relationship improove slowly but surely. The narcissist knows now I cannot be manipulated aymore because I feel strong and I dare to say he has changed towards me. Now I argue back things he says that I do not feel aligned with and say NO more often and noticed he does not get so angry in fact he respects me more for it. Learn who you are, your purpose and don't let anyone to make you change things about you that are perfect and comes from love and respect to others and you. Stick to who you are because God made you perfect and with a purpose. You can still be open and understanding and respect people's point of views but don't let them brainwash you. If you do you will suffer hard consecuences. TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELFS. ❤❤❤
Agree totally, about standing up to the narc. I realised he respected me more if I 'stood up' rather than behaving like his 'door-mat', always afraid of him. The feeling of threat receded once I realised he wasn't going to be violent like his father. So, I stayed longer. But, my health was why I finally left, along with other negatives. Ie, I felt & knew he actually hated me. I would never be safe!
I experienced it for 60 years from my entire group of originals people in my life.
Meet your angst with love 💜💜💜 and it will transform 🦋🦋🦋 into power. 🐦🔥🐦🔥🐦🔥
brightstar: you're either deluded or you haven't suffered.
@@cathlaurs9754 - The only way out of suffering is to meet it, to embrace it, and to accept it with love. 💗✨
Yes... after 20 years, i was able to call different treatments. When released, i dreamed for 9 months every single night of a solution. I began to feel guilty. Prayed for release and forgiveness of these dreams. Replaced with, " BY GOSH WE (daughter) will survive and well. NO SUPERSIZING, less than most. BUT it was great due to our relationship!!!❤❤❤❤
This is why I've told a friend that for at least 1 year I'm not going to look for another woman. I'm going back to therapy to heal and then I'm going on tour van life.. learn to love myself again.
I want to do the same ❤❤❤
@@oceansunset6147 we are our own worst enemies. There's only us stopping us from achieving our goals. I say do it! You'll have doubters and nay sayers but that's mostly because they wished they thought of it first and the rest? Well in the words of David Goggins f@#% them! You do you and let them do them. Be selfish, look after yourself and do what's right by you. That's what I'm going to do, because I have people who depend on me to fix me. Right now I'm fully broken, my heart feels like it's got a huge ice blade running through it. Everyday I'm reminded of what she did to me, everyday is one more day I've not seen our daughters. And when I wake each day I know i should be grateful but I find it really hard to. Everyone tells me I should hate her and I should celebrate my freedom. But I'm fully in mourning, I can't just turn off my love for her. Even if I did dread going home after work, afraid to speak my mind, worried our girls would upset her. I just can't seem to move forward living 2 blocks away.
I hope you find your happiness, remember one thing from an old veteran. We can heal, and we will heal physically. But only by picking at mental scabs and letting it bleed for a time can you fully be you again. It may not look exactly the way you once was, but what do you expect? Time seeps away and the world moves on and we stumble along trying to keep up. Its exhausting and has its toll on us and it leaves a scar. But I believe in you and you should too.
Agree! I deserve to do this for myself to do well! It's certainly not selfish to desire to heal!
I think you mean "not feeling secure" in the last sentence
👍
He said what he meant. Once you leave a long term relationship with a narcissist you constantly feel insecure because you're trauma bonded to the person who discarded you. You're alone. You have no sense of self. Its extremely complex.
This confused me too
I think he meant not secure
@@AdamNPDSurvivor The last phrase he says is: "and a sense of not feeling insecure". I don't see how that is what he meant to say. It seems like it should either be: "and a sense of not feeling secure" . . . OR . . . "and a sense of feeling insecure".
Prepare for the worst and if it doesn't happen it's a win. Triggers of past abuse pop up and how you handle it determines If it's a good day or a crap one. This is perfect👍
expect the best & get it, wean yourself off of cortisol addiction
Constant fight or flight pretty much😮
Yes
That is correct for heaven sake, I confirm, because I just entered that level asking myself what’s coming down on me. Just Angst, wich is a German word, and for no reason it suddenly making up stories inside of me creating fears. That is weird again. Thanks, Richard!
Careful with narcissists, you can end up with autoimmune diseases 😢
Isn’t that insane? My oldest sister is the most violent narcissist I’ve ever met. My brother in law/ daddy of her kids is dealing currently with an autoimmune disorder that legit came out of nowhere. Crazy to watch his decline and then after they separated, he’s in remission ❤
Not feeling secure.
Agreed. I didn’t know what these symptoms were for the majority of my life. It makes sense. When I become flooded with my symptoms now my antennas go on hi alert. I don’t like it but at least I can recognize it and act accordingly.
Yes I was rescued by a coach after 11 months. My Angst lasted for about 2 months. Feeling absolutely insecure, in fear of being punished for whatever
Massive trauma response. C-ptsd.
A survivor of decades of narcissistic abuse, this. Determining now whether a now long dead parent was narcissistic is irrelevant. 2 husbands and a best friend sister kept me an unworthy charity case, seemingly with my consent. Angst was a constant condition. Much can carry over, but better is better!
It matches my childhood....seems as i look back that Angst is my middle name. Or maybe my first name.....
I completely understand. It’s very heavy to hold as a child even as an adult. I have spent so many years thinking I was losing my mind but lately after talking to people my life has been coming together more than I ever thought it would. The best tip I will suggest are finding a safe space where you feel your best self. Example: with your partner, cuddled in a bed, making art, listening to music where you’re in your own world and no outside forces can touch you physically or mentally in a negative manner. You are the leader of your own life at the end of the day.
I like that you've recorded 'safe places' to put yourself in. For me for years, it was going for a walk, to escape the unsafe atmosphere at home. Developing one's own creativiry is another key. I also became an avid gardener and an artist. My artistic life has also helped to save me, be moving a writer to feel better about myself. 😮😊
Thank you for your commitment to helping the world Richard
Yes all True I had a NARC for over 10 years the good thing is,the next relationship I had I seen the red flags,but the 1 st relationship my anxiety stayed up he was a road rager,he didn't like noone ,and he was jealous of people success,it's like I was walking on egg shells,I had people ask me over the years do he even smile I thought about it ,he didn't even laugh,so I ask him one day at that time we was together I think 10 years why you never laugh he couldn't answer I didn't realize I started crying because it sadness me and scared me at the same time,so he started laughing at TV shows,I knew it was fake,I thank God I'm out of that relationship, Single life is Beautiful ❤
So true! ❤️🙏
Even after years of being away from someone I STILL will have nightmares out of the blue of someone. I don’t think about them almost ever during the day anymore at this point but still yet when my body goes to sleep sometimes my mind still goes there in my dreams.
It definitely does something to you and I’m not sure that it ever fully goes away.
I think I just try to be grateful that it can at least get better with time if you work at it 🙏❤️
Yes! An active prayer life also is a great mainstay for myself personally. God is good! 😀
This is so true Richard.
I walked away from a narcissist after 16 year's, it took me 5 years to get over it with the help of a really fantastic friend and I married him and I am completely free now
Thank you for sharing! We need these good news stories, we survivors!
Even worse when you grew up with it as a child... 😢
Being raised by a narc parent is tragic. Many people I’ve met including myself have an autoimmune disease and a narc parent.
That’s interesting. My father is a narcissist and I have asthma and eczema, which are autoimmune diseases. And cold, rejecting mother.
Also have developed similar in adult life. Perhaps a pre-disposition was there, as it's a family disease. Nevertheless, I use medication & homoeopathic spray to control hayfever & asthma & allergies which can be drastic in certain environments.
Yes! I'm often still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Constantly feeling "ANGST"!!! It's been 8 months out. Still, especially when I wake up. Automaticly, I listen for doors slamming, an angry voice, the door, I look to see if he's going to come through with today's set of problems. Then I remember I'm with my family. Safe, respected and loved for real!!! Blessed 🐝🙏🏽💜
Exactly what I’m going through now
This is brilliant. ❤ thank you for breaking it down. I've noticed that when I'm in a safe environment it takes me awhile to adapt back to my sense of safety, normalcy, and routine before the relationship or toxic work environment or friendship or other difficulties. Thankfully I'll be stabilized soon. 🌹
I was born into it and there was more than one to contend with. Protected one from the other, was not until my late ex, who was covert, died that I went into a full blown trauma freeze and although I know what it is, still dont want to leave the house. Up until then I was the equivalent of a rock in a storm. Now, you name it, I don't want to deal with it, including talking about it tbh.
🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯 literally speechless after watching this!! Wow....
EXACTLY, I think you are great at explaining that. I remember a in video you said our brains split!!
Seven years, much of it hellish. After leaving the Nex five years ago, and studying this quite a bit, l have finally found peace. I find so much peace and gratitude from simply being able to rest, to sleep, to go about my day to day activities without the she beast.
Yup. I’ve come to realize this in my own journey as well.
A year? I was born into it and they are older and crueler. There is no end.
A sense of not feeling secure.
Happened to me... I was like out of a hooror movie I called it. Didn't know the word angst.
Me either, is it like rage toward self? Must google it, im sorry....
@@Lollylovestealth angst? Yes, just look up the meaning. It is more just having to deal with a variety of traumas you can now process as you are out of the abuse and trauma that surrounds it. In particularly, covert malignant narcissist who use reactionary abuse against you.. And if your their target in particular and especially if you don't know people like them exist. It is overwhelming... And it is hard not to feel that the worst is gonna happen etc to feel very unsafe.. To feel like the world is not the same place anymore. To feel out of body ad your processing the horrors that your brain just shut down on for a long time and the list goes on. One has to grieve that their spouse was never who they thought they were.. Things like that. It can be like an out of bosy experience at times. Seeing a man be nice to you can trigger wierd feelings and strange like.. It is horrible as it makes you realize what you lost.. You can be tongue tied more etc
The longer one is in a very bad relationship, where they are being abused.. The more intense the angst will be. I had to look it up to. Mine lasted a year and a half.. And it is better. Lots better. But not completely gone.
How are you doing?
@@Lollylovestealth the guilt and shame we carry for responding badly to the abuse.. And false accusations. Or being rude to others because your so stressed out from the abuse etc.. Those things can trigger deep remorse out of a victim.. Especially if we respond badly to reactionary abuse.. Like I did. The guilt can be horrendous. So yes.. Be careful with any self reproach to much.. If that is what you mean by self rage.
@@yellowdayz1800 i love how you explain it, my vindictive ex eventually kidnapped my teen son, so i was waking up angry i thought, but this anger was different, like wolf alone in jungle i felt, its indescribable how that feels
@@Lollylovestealth indeed. Like a wolf. I felt that anger to. These narcissist can rip your soul out. I hope you have learned online from the many psychologist how to heal from this. Hugs.
Shut the door on those kind of people
Jesus said leave them alone!!!
The therapist or whatever he is, looks at the victim's side in the best possible way ... the interplay between narcissist and abuse victim crystallises for both parties and the circle closes! It is tangible when both sides in a situation are considered simultaneously.
Exactly Richard. After almost 40 years after I was discarded, and I keep having very scary inner feelings. After watching your video on "splitting " and your course on healing today..I understand the "presence " of triggers in my current life . Thank you so much for your important work 🙏 💜
Where is Richards message on 'splitting'? My counsellor told me I have a 'fragmented' personality. Is that the same thing?
You mean a sense of Not Feeling Secure (not not feeling insecure).
When I first left him and had to go home to estranged family for help I felt like a wild animal looking at everyone side eyed, as if I hadn't known these people my whole life. He sowed so many seeds of uncertainty.
Angst a German word for Fear
FEAR false evidence appearing real
Yes 💯
Same word in Dutch, angst means fear
7 years with narc bosses and i finally convinced myself to switch careers. My achievements were never recognized, only stolen and i got used to it. That’s INSANE.
I realized today my mind seems to have finally settled down. I’m able to concentrate much better. Going No Contact with narc family and ex husband was best thing I’ve ever done.
I'm so exhausted with these types of folk! Just don't care! Keep posting!.........
Yes I relate, im hyper vigilant to all situations even now I'm safe my body and mind don't believe me
Hypervigilance! Definitely. It's that 'fight or fight' way of living for too long. Adrenaline overload! Just as Richard is saying! It's also about trauma overload. 🥴🫣
So devastating!
You're describing it so well
This is very true. I have had someone sneeze near me and it made me jump so bad I started crying 😂😬😭
This makes me feel really sad. I've lived with narcissistic parents for 20 years. Its really disheartening to know that this has effected me so drastically. I must heal no matter what, this is now my life purpose. I am so scared of whats to come. I guess this is my lifes journey.
32 years, thank you Richard 🙏🪶🥀❤️🔥
But 4️⃣THE GRACE of GOD…..THERE GO I🕊️🕊️🕊️HERE I AM🕊️🕊️🕊️not by power nor by might, but by 🕊️…. I AM GRATEFUL 🤍🕊️💯🙏🏼
Me, too! God is so good!!! I have a close church family to talk to & pray with. My safe place over many years, in different locations. God has provided safety, ongoing!
I was born and raised in a family of narcissists (parent and grandparent).
All my childhood I lived in a very distorted world of permanent danger.
It came both from the narcissists and the way they portrayed the world as unbearably threatening.
I can't even open an email and deal with day-to-day issues without fear.
I do understand this, especially after the way you just explained it.
But my whole system is so damaged that I feel impaired.
I can only turn to God for help.
The bad part is you find it hard to trust even God after all this hell.
Yes, that feeling becomes a part of you...but often I also get feelings of extreme peace and joy, and honestly I don't think I would have ever achieved these except the abuse forced me to find them.
Yes, that's an interesting perspective, but I agree. There's always a bright side, thank the Lord! 🙏
All facts.. I just went no contact and therapy.. I just started to recognize how bad it was. I would say something and then it was like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was punished when she didn’t like what I said..
Thank you so much for all you say❤
This is so incredibly true and informative and reaffirming as to why I have been in and just cannot seem to completely rise above and out of survival mode it’s very sad and it’s very scary and I try I need to live not waiting on the other shoe to drop before my life is over and I know that sounds dramatic, but I am desperately ready to get out of this state, but I had significant narcissistic abuse not only froma grandiose narcissistic relationship with a horrible man quite recently, but also in a family full of narcissists so really from birth
Brilliantly said.
❤Love Richard Grannon for his work!❤
(The comment just came up in me...🤷♂️🤷♂️🤷♂️)
Right....thank you Richard
I was 16 years and that man still get me ill after 10 years🕊
Yep. I've been chronically ill with M.E/CFS for 23 years since early/mid teens, thanks to being raised by Narcissistic parents. In spite of all of my efforts, my nervous system is still dysregulated and stuck in fight/flight/freeze/fawn state.
Thank you for your knowledge.
More than 20 years. my entire childhood +
I left her in 2015, went back in 2017 for a year and 3 months of punishment, degradation, servitude, violence, and tears. Its 2024 she married a friend of mine and I thought my heart was breaking my lungs n stopping me from breathing the evening of the morning I found out. Life is funny and I know that no matter what happens to me in this life, that I am always gonna be more than ok...thx
Totally spot on thank you for that
I ended up with a stress response like hives that slaps me straight into anaphylaxis... If threat is something I can tackle head on, adrenaline keeps it from happening.
Instability.
And stability is a basic human need.
😅🤩Couldn't agree more with the last sentences👍🤣
I remember having that feeling suddenly with my first girlfriend. I did not know where it came from or what was happening. Suddenly I had panic attacks and it was like all I have worked on in myself was gone. With my second girlfriend I suddendly had the same feeling like a slap in my face out if nowhere. It was her behaviour that triggered it. I felt like she was trying to destroy my reality. Two weeks later I ended it.
Longer than a year? How about living under it for 20 years like I did?
Yup. My ex narc made me feel all this
Leaving in angst is their goal so they can feel as if they are mellow when they are the ones are crazy.
Getting help moving on thank you sir 🙏😁🙏😁🙏
You don't have to look for love when it's where you're coming from.
This is so true
I don't care how high level you are, and I know where I'm at in life it still gives you feelings of anxiety and that's taking a big presumption. You're aware of everything. This has been a strange exercise for me in spiritual growth as I observe this behavior from a narcissist who actually has a conscious awareness of it and then the problem is we throw in the fact that her, and I have a completely different set of values Growing up huge age, gap and race gap the fact that I'm very high up in the social hierarchy and she's not makes it nearly impossible for her to devalur me but she's tried it just doesn't work so the question I keep coming back to for myself, is the spiritual growth that I'm receiving and the intellectual knowledge I'm getting better than the anxiety that's being caused even with 100% awareness of it. Interestingly, she is a taker, but unlike many narcissists at the expense of others, she tries to find a balance. It's so interesting being with someone that's a covert narcissist, but has a high level of awareness of it so you can take to people that are very conscious. At that point I would not call it abuse it's a choice words abuses people are completely, unaware they're operating under the pretension of equality and they'll never find it in that kind of relationship
Yes, I've been working on reversing this. It's really hard, but lots of different supplements are helping me because I am replacing what is depleted during the abuse.