Narcissists are VERY good at getting what they want. Walking away doesn't always work. It's so easy to manipulate people. It's all a game. People are pawns. Everyone serves a purpose in life. Otherwise, why have them around you? Seriously. I know they do in my life anyway. You have NO idea the lengths they would go to to have someone in their pocket or get the desired attention. Trust me. I've done some MAJOR stuff to get attention. We're not bad people though. Everybody acts like we are.
True torture to a narcissist is you don't even wanna torture them. You don't care. Whatever happens to them you're indifferent. You focus on yourself, not them.
I agree with this comment. I found myself thinking, as I watched this video, that doing this correctly would involve giving them even MORE of your time, attention, and energy, just so you could "get back," which feels like still being hooked. And it's not very adult. I just want to sidestep their games. What they do with that is their business, not mine. I just want to stop repeating this pattern in my other relationships. That's the hard part.
Best advise 👌 Working on yourself make them less significant starve them of the attention they crave untill they are missing that "va va voom" For a burger 🍔 When you had a steak 😋
@@auntihooha no kidding. living with and waking up to that kind of stress every day is a killer. whatever she may bring to the table, it's not worth the price of living in fear of a monster.
the animal cruelty hypocrisy one is interesting, my sister has been displaying more narcissistic traits since being with her boyfriend (who seems very narcissistic), and she is very hypocritical about animal welfare. she keeps rats, which actually started with one i was intending to feed to my snake. while i always prefer feeding humanely euthanized frozen-thawed rodents this one wasnt eating and I wanted to try offering it a live one to stop its hunger strike. when i got it at home the snake wasnt interested and since it was a juvenile and was already on the large side for that snake it would have been too large by the time I was ready to offer another meal. so I offered it to her to keep as a pet, and she since has gotten two more. im also somewhat allergic to rats, i wear a mask on feedign day to avoid too much exposure, but she keeps hers in my dads office which I have to pass through on the way to do my laundry. i keep all my snakes in my room, even though its inconvenient, so there is quite a bit of entitlement demonstrated already by keeping her personal pets in a shared space. even though i no longer feed any live rodents and all six of my snakes happily take frozen-thawed rats or mice off of tongs she still acts as if im some unfeeling monster that im not bothered by preparing dead animals to feed my pets. the drawback of feeding this way is you do have to sometimes waste the rats if the snakes dont want them, but again they were all euthanized humanely so its not a big deal. she acts as if its such a tragedy that a rat captively bred for the express purpose of becoming food was 'wasted'. not really a waste anyways because its necessary to give the snake regular opportunities to eat whether it actually does or not. this empathy is either just an act or a form of emotional dysregulation akin to that of a borderline, not true or healthy empathy. her true lack of empathy towards animals (and humans) is evident when it comes to the family dogs. ive always walked and fed them but ive recently been suffering from severe asthma attacks almost every day. so keeping up with the walking has been difficult. ive asked if she could step up for a while and take over some of the walking duties and she hasnt done it once. my empathy for the dogs who have come to expect the enrichment of daily walks always gets the best of me and i force myself to take them out and it takes me an hour or two just to recover from a 20 minute walk around the block. a real test of empathy is whether or not you are willing to inconvenience yourself to act on it, as they say , talk is cheap, and its easy to express empathy verbally but also relatively meaningless if not matched by action. and to be clear my sister has all the time in the world right now as she's on school holidays, its not that she's too busy to help out.
Mine has so much power over me still because more than 1/3 of my life's savings (I'm disabled with no income) and everything I own are all still under his control. Is he cooperating? No. He's Hoovering me like a staulker... I can't Wait to get my own values back in the driver's seat of my life. Congratulations for having apparently done it. Good for you!
No, no no. See the vid what do narcissists do when alone? If they're ignored the challenge is accepted. They plot, scheme, backstab, form alliances, control all the people they know you know. You ignoring them is just another way get back at you. You don't get off that easily.
They absolutely HATE to be ignored. When they can’t engage with you to get a reaction from you they lose it. They can’t stand not to be in control of their target’s emotions. 😎
True and sometimes they will come again and again. How many people out there that we think are simply narcissists? Many of these people are more than just narcissists, they’re psychopaths, sociopaths, and Machiavellians. Some of these people may also have serious mood disorders or personality disorders too. I think this kind of thing is either more common these days, or just more in your face as American society grew more liberal, or, that maybe given the greater connectivity people have these days with the internet, social media, smartphones, etc. We make more connections with more people than ever before. Either way, narcissism is such a disturbing phenomenon.
@@jasonwimberly5636 They are also Very Subtly MALEVOLENT ! Mentally , Physically and Verbally and Use what i call METACOMMUNICATION to administer their Abuse ie Pulling faces to signal their Disingenuous Disgust hence suggesting they are superior and also twisting the Victims mind to have them Think ( What's the matter with me etc) - until eventually the victim realises the Narcs Metacommunication is Projected at them upon which Shock sets in and more confusion for the Victim.
Not just silence.. STOP doing any and everything that you have been doing for them previously. EVERYTHING!! that’s how I was able to rid myself of this one..give nothing!! No conversation No sex No cooking No cleaning Not even a glance.. the demon flee within couple weeks. Resist the ------ and it will _________??
yeah, I noticed they really enjoy it when they make you break the silence, it is like they are thinking *oh I finally can manipulate her again* and then lead you from a mere argument to complete madness... in the end, they are chilling and smiling talking in a calm voice while you are the *mad crazy scary one*
@@gooddoctor9542They get supply when they see that you contact them first. It feeds their ego. They need you to need them. Stay faaaaar away from these reptilian demons. Stay no contact for life and live happily ever after without them✨💖
@@christianstill.6654It doesn’t always work that way. If you choose to stay with the narcissist and they give you the silent treatment, sometimes you just have to ignore them.
Gets really muddy when there’s children involved. You have to confront them. It’s sick. Someone uses their children for control. I’m living it right now.
For those of you are saying not to play the game. We live in a VERY narcissistic world. So you have better equip yourself with some tools that will help protect yourself. You can’t run and hide forever because these type of ppl are everywhere!
They are EVERYWHERE! They LOVE positions of power! So if people think they can ignore these types of people still are kidding themselves. They are your city managers, majors, cops, doctors, etc. They hold extreme prominent positions BECAUSE we have ignored them and walked away. They will destroy our communities
In normal world yes. I agree. Otherwise you'll lost your whole life. In relationships, with partner, friends or family definitely yes, - NO CONTACT! Otherwise you'll lost your whole life
Give em nothing, take em nowhere: they'll get the message. If they're not family, that _person_ won't come back. There is no prayer nor agreement (unless there's a particular difficulty, like, relating to employment) - you just do it, and learn to breathe again so that you remain kind-hearted. Easy to become a monster, like they have become. Walking away is not only a duty to oneself, but to that _person_ as well, because sooner or later, they _might_ ask themselves a few questions which _might_ disturb the pool into which they hopelessly gaze enough to awaken themselves from their dopey pain to realise that they can heal. Don't tell em that though; they have to learn it to earn it, and that, at least in theory, _might_ teach them a little uh-oh thought that snaps them out of a tendency to be crap. They might think about their own relevance, for once.
The worse thing you can do to a narcissist is “no contact”. Anything else is still giving them some control of your life and they’ll take that as a win.
@@80sbaby90 Yes and then we don't care. Thats the whole point. They were never in it to begin with, they need to be given Oscars for their performance, its the best you will ever see in your life. But its not real.
@@80sbaby90 I don't think u understood what Richard said about reducing their impact on your life destroying their narcacisstic self image. If u did, u wouldn't be saying this.
Being happy is the main thing that makes them angry and upset. They hate to see other people happy and doing better than them because they are miserable people.
Yes! I'm fact, she was so miserable that she could barely stand being in the outside world, and if she was, it was to tell me if someone paid her a compliment on her looks that day or if her coworkers or boss had been a-holes. I always tried to come up with shared activities but there was no way to make her actually happy. There was something wrong with everything and she had to rush so she didn't lose her other supply that gives her money.
Sounds awesome. I was thanking God earlier because He inspired me to dance and celebrate my way out the pain and waste of that relationship and my God reassured me that He will comfort me and allow me to overcome through love and joy. Let's start the parties now. He tried to come sex me for an hour or 2 like a hooker and I saw he was already planning to buy some dutty gal juice n lives with her or was running to her after me. That was the last boundary he crossed with me forever. It's over with him! I want my wedding band back cuz he doesn't deserve it or me! I need love, joy and prosperity a healthy lover and husband and now Imma get it. Thank You Lord. Lessons learned. Advance & level up. HALLELUJAH 👑 AMEN
As someone with a narcissistic mother, it honestly hurt to hear you say that you just have to accept the fact that you never had a parent. I've always wished I had a normal family, but the older I get, the more I realize that you can't reason with someone who has a warped sense of reality and self.
My mother is a terrible narcissists and only gets worse the older she gets and never believes she is wrong or needs psychological help. Unfortunately at a young age and through the years I was subjected to verbal alcoholic mental abuse. I had parents that would fight constantly never once seeing them loving or affectionate to each other. Either through genetics or exposure in that environment I have found that I have narcissistic tendencies that have wreaked havoc in my personal life, with friends, teams, jobs, and worst of all my marriages. Unfortunately for me my first wife was also a narcissists so we just made each other so miserable by the time it was over I was worse off than I had ever been before meeting her. I had no idea what I was or even realized till years later what my ex was but we did it to each other during our short time together. It was my next wife of 12 years that broke my heart and made me realize that I had problems. She is the greatest person in the world and I just couldn't show enough love or give her the time and help with the kids. I would get selfish and lazy and even I got a second chance after an argument that almost ended us. I tried so hard to be who she wanted me to be. It lasted a while and then I would just slip away again without even realizing it. I would catch my self here and there and would do my best to make it up to her when I would notice I was slacking. I even would go couples and therapy on my own to try and figure why I kept hurting her even when I felt like I wasnt. But I was. I just couldn't keep up I would miss cues and signals more often. I was in my on little world oblivious to those hurting around me. My marriage might be over now and all I feel is shame and the fear while trying to tell myself I want her to happy and healthy without me. I still love her and daily I have to fight the hurt anger and rage I get towards her in moments of quiet reflection that I dont understand. I know Im not a total narcissists or else I would be completely unhinged but do have fight panicked urges to beg for forgiveness I dont deserve. But it hurts on the other side too, for people who didn't cheat or lie to their spouses and thought that was enough. To not know or understand the mental burden or strain I put my wife under even though she was begging me to see it and I just couldn't change. Its heart wrenching because I do love her but I just cant be her person because Im broken and breaking her. I fear for my daughters having this if its genetic. I see it my sister and her daughter. Its a horrible nightmare I wouldn't wish on anyone much less it becoming a painful family tradition. I try to still seek help to change and better myself through therapy. I want whats best for my kids and my wife. To stay in our house while I leave. The worst part is I still have pay a mortgage and wouldn't be able to get an apartment so I would have no choice but to go stay with the one person who made me this way "My Mom". For the sake of my familys health I'll do it but I fear it may be very bad for me when it comes to making progress in trying to change in that environment. Sometimes you just have no choice but to be doomed.
What I've learned from dealing with narcissists is that you should understand their behavior and don't play or go into battle with them. Unless you are ready to consistently think and act like one, it's mentally exhausting trying to beat them at their own game. You have to change your way of thinking while this is their whole personality. Ignore, get some distance, and just live your life.
And dont let them get an emotional rise out of you. They feed on that. It makes them feel powerful. Inside they are all very fragile little children and they know that and fear that everyone else will know it. When one starts talking to you (assuming you are not in a relationship with them) train yourself to think about something else while they are talking. Even if it is 'I wonder if there are any interesting articles in that magazine on the table over there.' And while they are talking completely ignore them and walk over and pick up the magazine and thumb through it and get immersed in an article. The ultimate gray rock.
Do not have any contact, move and you hopefully will never see them again. I have gone as far as deleted my FB account. New life for me finally, minus alot of loved ones but no choice. My loved ones chose him when I was paralyzed. No loyalty lost.
The best thing I've learned on how to deal with narcissistic people is to not engage them in anyway. Pretend that they don't exist. If you see them around and they talk to you. Pretend they're not there. If they call you, block their number all their social media accounts. If they talk to your friends or family about you tell you're friends and family you're not interested in talking about them, they will tell them on their own the next time your name comes up with the narcissist. And the most important thing I've learned is don't give them ammo. Do not vent about them, do not say anything about them and don't say anything nice about them either, do not say anything that might validate their feelings if it were to get back to them. Do not engage, do not vent, do not validate. You're strong and you will break away from this person. You got this.
The best revenge is to walk away, get help, improve yourself for yourself and live a happy life enjoy the small things everyday. Love & light to all survivers of narc abuse ❤️
Experienced divorce lawyer here. Great video! I hope this video reaches people BEFORE they get tangled up with a narcissist. Stay safe out there! Vet very carefully and for a long time before considering marriage. Divorcing a narcissist can be extremely stressful and very expensive.
I finally divorced my narcissistic wife and threw her out. I put her on no contact almost a year ago. I can tell you after going through a lot of pain and trying to think of ways to repay that pain to her the BEST thing I did was let go and move on. Once I stopped fighting back and focused on ME and getting ME better and moving forward and improving every area of my life her rage and pain was evident. MOVE ON. Trying to get payback actually feeds them. They are EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES. Starve them. Give them nothing. Shut them out completely and move on and the better your life without them the more enraged and pained they become. Someone once told me, "Each of us creates our own hell. Let them burn in theirs."
and post Subliminal messages for u to see em role playin a victim then Provoke a reaction outta u to going back and forth to blocked again u can always unblock to cycle i hate it
When you lower yourself to the same level as a narcissist, 9 times out of 10 they beat you with experience. Devalue their effect on your life, gray rock them, or go no contact. Heal yourself and move on.
Speaking your mind and unload on them to call them out for the evil they have done against you....is most definitely not putting yourself to the same level.....
Most narcissists can’t tolerate being ignored; the act of silent treatment strikes the narcissist much harder because of their need to feel validated. As the narcissist understands that you are intentionally ignoring them will deflate their inflated ego. Their self-esteem is connected by how much attention they can get from you or others. A person with high levels of narcissism can get more aggressive when being ignored. When they think you are ignoring them, some won’t be able to control their temper, so they may lash out or change their approach by being aggressive with their calls or text messages demanding to talk or communicate with you. They will never be ready to discuss or be accountable for what they did or said to you. They will just expect you to accept what they want or need while they will be very hypocritical by ignoring their actions. Yes, they will be mad or upset at you for ignoring them, but when or once you call them out on their behavior, they will get mad at you, and in return ignore you. Even if you ignore a narcissist for whatever reason that may be, they will eventually get bored and seek attention from someone else. The narcissist may replace you with someone else who won’t ignore them and give them the attention, and control that they seek. This is why ignoring a narcissist should be more about you, and less about them. This is how they operate, and how they satisfy their narcissistic supply. Solution: Ignoring them is one of the easiest ways to redeem your control, regain your sense of clarity, and restore your power by focusing your attention on yourself. As far as what happens to a narcissist when you ignore them is really irrelevant. May you know the signs. May you not become a victim. And may you be more concern about your healing, recovery, and emotional-mental health. Additionally, If you suspect cheating or other forms of manipulation and need to gather evidence for your own peace of mind, you may consider reaching out for assistance. For more information, you can contact: MetaspyHub@gmail. com.
It can be hard or torturing on both of you but zero contact, totally ignoring him/her and simply moving on is way to Go! #2 & #4 can really be dangerous and they can counter back! Remember that they are actually trying to elicit a response either positive or negative from you so if you post anything about them can only given them cues that you are still onto them and they still have your attention - this will only give them a hole to dig in to torture you back and even trap you again on a roller coaster ride!! ☝️
I have a brother in law that hated it when I started ignoring him at gatherings. He had the nerve to tell my husband to make me speak to him. Lol. Husband responded that I didn’t trust him because BIL always lies and makes stories up. He lost his mind. We still don’t talk to him 20 years later. What a peaceful life.
Golden. I figured this out and use it 9n my brother and little sister. He's a damn crazy psycho and she's a little bitch. I have 2 more brothers that know this about them two. We all agree and have a plan. They'll be sorry. I'm only around them because of our elderly parents for now after that, they'll never be in my life. Freaks. I can't believe we're related. They'll be jailed or something. I travel with my husband for his work and never home. Never. I plan on getting rid of my cell phone which I can't wait. They couldn't find me with GPS. They can rot in Hell
I dropped my emotionally abusive gas lighting brother over 20 years ago. Not long ago, he personal dropped a letter in my mailbox asking how I was. He never acknowled not one of the many things he did to me. He ended the letter with, "After all these years, the least you can do is answer this letter"...that line confirmed nothing had changed; my life has been peaceful without him and his family .
I’m working on the healing process to become a super empath. My question is how to deal with a narcissist that you cannot completely go “no contact” and simply just remove from your life? Unfortunately, this is someone I will have to associate with at least a couple times a year (this is my sister in laws husband ). My wife really loves her sister and her sister is genuinely a good person, but had the bad luck of marrying a narcissistic jerk. This person has repeatedly shown a pattern of unacceptable narcissistic behavior not just to me but others. I have stood my ground a few times which led to fights, gas lighting, but dealing with this constantly is frustrating. What’s even more frustrating is I have never been able to talk to my in laws or sister in law openly about this. They don’t like taking about these things and neither does my wife. They realize how he is and just accept it and try to ignore it. But for me ignoring it is very difficult. I am regularly just thinking of all the things this person has said done and keep thinking what will happen the next time I have to see him. Keep think of scenarios and how I must respond to him. Keep thinking of things I should have said but didn’t because I bit my tongue. It’s very exhausting. Any advice?
@@openworldgamer2156 figure out what is your priority; your mental health and quality of life, or giving into a person(s) who expect and insist you accept unhealthy abusive behavior. If you choose the former, be ready to let those people go. I chose a long time ago not to bother with anyone's bs and I've never regretted it.
Yeah, gotta take precautions and use their own tactic of well-poisoning against them Though this time around, you shield the well in advance from their poisoning, aka make sure they find out way late or preferably last about getting exposed so they can't spin it around anymore. Garner with evidence, voila - the narcissist lost footing with all but their most gullible piglets (aka the ones giving him the least amount of sustenance) and will experience ANGUISH. From which they will hopefully learn about humility and not to become even more covert and finessed on their next try.
I was best friends with a psychopath. I always admired how calm he was. Cool and calm. He was a nice guy. Former preacher. He always drove as fast as he could. Drove in the left lane. He faked empathy. He future-faked me all the time. He betrayed me in the end. After 12 years of friendship. I now realize that psychopaths want to see you beg. It makes them feel powerful. He did the same thing to his ex wife. He abandoned her when she was pregnant with their baby. He refused to help her. I now understand why she despises him so much. He has no conscience. He lies to everyone. He steals every chance he gets. If you meet someone who shows little emotion, watch out!
Seeing so many people with the same experience here makes me feel a sense of belonging. In the East, knowledge is not widely available and life is so lonely.
Oh boy, tell me about it, I am from the East too, and was thinking the same like you, a sense of belonging with people who have gone through the same traumatic experience and understand what it is like dealing with a narcissist. Very thankful for such educational videos, you are not alone, God bless.❤
I totally agree. Narcissism seems to be a response to child trauma and attachment problems, whether that be neglect from one parent and over-indulgence from the other or whatever. This should create pity rather than a desire to torture, but not to the extent that you accept their behaviour.
@B. Clifton, I agree. Providing a child an environment were they are coddled, enabled, and rescued by the parents promotes the perfect opportunity for a child to become a "Golden Child" narcissist. An idol amongst the family. The child that is overly praised and cherished by the parents provides him/her the mindset that they are the special one and are held in high regard amongst their other siblings, because of a variety of reasons such as their attributes, birth order, accolades from school, friends, community recognition, influence, and reputation. The parents over accommodate and indulge the "Golden Child" with materialistic possessions that are not provided to the other children. Abuse and neglect are not the only avenues for an individual to become a narcissist.
True, my ex was the step sister so she was "unloved" but the sister was placed on a pedestal and fully supported even after being an adult, she's a different monster.
They're not going to change so yes, it is best to just move on. They have a disorder. Let them be someone else's problem. I don't have time for playing games. They will never be happy anyway.
If you absolutely have to “deal” with a narc, I would recommend to keep firm bounderies, and keep your distance at the same time. As a second choose on how to deal with the narcissist I would recommend keeping firm boundaries and also to correct them every time they missteps, lie, manipulates etz. When your boundaries are not respected by the narcissist, you need to follow through with consequenses of bad behaviour. You will have your hands full going forward this way. When following through with consequenses to their “re”actions, you explain to the narc, that you are not one of the narc`s victims. You have no intentions of becoming one but will be a nuisance to the narcissist in a way that is irritating to him/her. This method is not risk free but narcissists will often choose the path of no or low resistance. This method is a time consuming path to chose. This route sometimes require more time than you would like to spend on these issues. You feel that distancing yourself all together would have been easier. That is however not always possible. Often there is no way to avoid him/her. You unfortunately have to deal with the narcissist because you are colleagues or close family. You must think through what you need the narcissist to respect and what arias of conflict you must pay extra attention to, to keep your integrity and to detect manipulative behavior. Be prepared and clear in your communication and stick to your guns. Try to stay under the radar as much as you can, even when this method is the best for you. A way that works as well is to play along with the narcissist and act like you agree with everything they do and say. This method works well until many people in the narcissists sphere do the same. When everyone agrees with the narcissist you are back on square one. The narcissist must have victims and this setting is no different. To go NO Contact is another good alternative and method, and is probably the best option when it is possible to cut all contact permanently. Additionally, If you need to find out about a cheating narc; send a request to: Metaspyhub@gmail. com
It was crucial for me not to get too emotional regarding his abusive childhood because the compassion, my love would lead to my experiencing his abuse over and over again because he would behave sadistically and I"m "oh but, (picturing him as a young innocent abused child, because I genuinely loved the man) THAT almost did me in time and time again
@@suncity22001wow.. you have trauma… if child support goes up just ask for an itemized bill to see everything the money is spent on, just make sure you get it in writing and have a lawyer sign off and be a witness or have it done there in court. Simple, not sure why y’all make things complicated for yourselves emotionally, mentally and financially.
@Melanin2670 Salute! 💯💯❤ They want children, but they don't wanna pay at the end. Everything is money nowadays because bills, foods & etc. What dumb MF don't want their children to ride in a nice car, have the best clothes, shelter, school & etc??! It's time and energy ✨️ Stay GREAT, beautiful!! Bless you & your children. Safe journey. 🙏🙏🙏💜💜💜
@@louise2091 Hi 👋🏼 yes you are correct, they could be your boss or your parent. You do have a choice as to whether tolerate abuse. I’m 7 years no contact with parents and family, I’m self employed too. The choice is yours. It’s not an easy choice but it’s a very simple one. Trust me when I say, they do not change. Ask yourself, in 5 years what will my situation look like? If you want more of the same , stay as you are. If you want change, be brave, let go 💕. Yes they have enablers who gang up on you, however if you have children, ask yourself, how do I want my children to see me? Do I want to be a shining example, or, do I want them to witness me being abused?
@@louise2091 You can still disengage by not allowing them to trigger you. You can deflect their abuse by refusing to show an emotional reaction to the crap they dish out. They distract easily. Don’t focus on their crap. Change their channel. Dial down their noise. Read up on cognitive dissonance. They provoke because they can’t bear to think of how they would handle it if you weren’t available to them. Feel sorry for them because they have zero insight. Emotionally they’re still 12 or 13 years old with barely intact egos. Like he said, there’s splitting. Fractured reasoning. Flat out disconnects that were a lifetime in coming.
I know this. But it's my mother and my daughters father and I get upset when they mess with my children, who have enough to deal with! But I know all of this but find i still have feelings to deal with. I'm no contact with my ex and imagine my mum is just a little girl who doesn't know better. I'm 62 and find I still crave to be seen and heard despite knowing that this is impossible. Thank you for your reply
Same here. Slowly disengage yourself emotionally and psychologically from her. Your life is your own. Slowly see her as a neighbor and then a stranger. It takes time. Less communication starves their narcissist behavior.
This is the single best advice: Reduce their significance in your life. The sooner you do this, the more you disempower the narcissist(s). Don't empower the narcissist by focusing on them (they are just a distraction). Focus on you and being the best version of you!
The way you win is to literally not give a shit and focus on your own life. They become irrelevant. All this stuff is just giving them more energy and keeping YOU in the game. Total waste of your own time and healing. I know a narcissist that hurt me deeply. Today, I could give a shit what they think, what they are doing or who they are doing it with. I never, ever think about them anymore. GAME OVER.
What are you going on about? You're watching a video on how to torture a narc, you then talk about how you couldn't give a shit & never ever think about them anymore.. Are you sure? Just that you go around posting about it says you still think about them.
@@TenableVegan I actually don’t and haven’t for over two years. I rarely watch content on this subject matter I just haven’t unsubscribed yet. When I was in the thick of it I was subscribed to all the content and was totally obsessed. I honestly, Hand on heart have healed. It took me years. And it’s a process and the ONLY way to get over it is no contact. After a year of no contact it’s all over in your mind.
I had 2 narcissist relationships back to back. First was overt, second covert; but endured the same abuse. I’ve been single for almost 3 years. Worked hard in therapy for 7 years. Once you know who they are and what they “look” like, you realize there are a lot of them. I refuse to date anyone that shows multiple flags. I take my time, moving slow, saying no early and often, and I talk a lot less about intimacy and my past. I just keep it light and airy. Most of the men I meet, end up removing themselves. It’s a tough line to walk, getting to know someone AND having healthy boundaries, but it’s so necessary! Congratulations to all that were able to escape the roller coaster, and for those who are wanting to get out… there is hope and you DON’T need them!! It’s hard at first but not nearly as hard as staying with them.
I agree with you.. there are a lot more narcissists out here than is reported on with statistical estimates. The time is drawing near. I'm not giving him supply. I heard him packing up his things .. i think he is finally about to leave ❤
@nmc1859 You have a community behind you to help you thru this process. I don't know a single narcissist survivor that doesn't want to help a fellow victim. Be strong, be safe. We're here for you! 😊
The only way to take control from a narcissist is to get yourself from their domain first. You wont be able to figure out anything until and unless you are out of the hellish world. I will tell you one of my favourite stories. Once a King was too disturbed by everything that was happening around him. He felt as if no one was loyal to him and he was always afraid of his kingdom being attacked by perpetrators. He lost his sleep and his life had become hell. So he thought of taking a brief sojourn in the countryside. He passed through lush green fields and picturesque landscapes. The silent breeze that brushed through his hair filled his heart with joy. That is when he saw a farmer who was putting fence around his farmland. But his farmland had weeds all over and they hardly had any crops. This intrigued the King. He asked the farmer as to why was he putting a fence around the farm when the farm itself was covered with weeds. To this the farmer said that the farm was his own so he could get rid of the weeds whenever he liked. But he cant stop the stray dogs from running over his fields and destroying them. That is why he was putting the fence. To stop the stray dogs from venturing into the field. Once he was very assured about the security of his fields he can work on clearing the weeds and planting crops. On hearing this the King somewhat got the answer which he had been searching for. The human mind is also like the field. You cant control assholes from fiddling with your mind or saying bullshit. But you can definitely put a fence ( figuratively) so that these assholes cant influence you. And until and unless you dont put a fence you can never work on yourself. Once you have distanced yourself from toxic people then you can work on the healing process. Same is the case with narcs. Narcs are these stray dogs who suck your energy emotionally. They play mind games for fun because their mind wants melodrama. They hurt the very people who love them. So total isolation from these narcs is absolutely essential for the well being of your Mind. Once you are out of their mind games you can take decisions rationally. Narcs try to drain you emotionally. So everytime you respond to their low vibrations you tend to come to their level. But when you react confidently without panicking and without responding to their negative vibrations that is when you Win. When someone realises that you arent being influenced or being manipulated by their actions they will get tired of it. And after cutting them off completely from your lives you should work on your healing process. Work on clearing your mental clutter and keep yourself preoccupied. Read books and most importantly try to find your Purpose in life. When you find your Purpose you will be able to bear any pain in this World. Most importantly help others in need. When you find someone else who is stuck with a narc help them to get out of that. I feel this is the way to take control from a narcissist. P.S: I hardly find people around me who know about emotional abuse. But I think everyone should read and know about it. In today’s mean world you will find a lot of people who try to influence you or demoralise you using the sweetest of words. Its about identifying these covert manipulators and distancing yourself from them. I have immense respect for people who have survived narcissistic partners. They happen to be the most strongheaded and emotionally stable people you can come across. I learn a lot of things from them. Truly the broken will always be the most beautiful. Moreover, People wonder why they end up hurt, seriously hurt, and even killed for their own actions. Cheating is a choice and there’s simply a lot of ignorance in the process.... Thank you so much for helping me out Barryinvestigation@gmail. com. Your advice and services helped me so much. You are a lifesaver !!! The information you gave me about my cheating partner when you gave me access to his phone was everything I needed to get,.. thank you very much..
REMEMBER Your misery makes them happy... Ergo your happiness will make them miserable. So.. Please.. Get well. Move on. Find yourself. Find True love. And always remember this.. You are a beautiful person with a big beautiful heart and you are loved more than you will ever know. Love from Scotland x
i only started being loved once i escaped my 'family' home. ive been physically free for 10 years now and had hours and hours and hours of therapy. since becoming a mother, i realised how much my mother failed to protect her kids... she blames suspected adhd on why she didn't do anything. once i have my second child in about 3 months, i can allow myself to deal with that stress and put shit right once and for all. my mother allowed my dad to abuse my brother and her, then she allowed my brother to abuse herself and me, sadly that's barely the tip of the ice. you message... worth more than white gold to many many people.
I agree, especially that last part. Don’t abuse the abuser. It to me seems like becoming the thing you hated in the first place. Don’t create a new cycle.
This right here. After a while, I wound up mirroring his abuse for my own sanity (more-so to feel ANY sense of justice), but it doesn't fix anything. It does not change the narcissist, they don't seem to notice and they just keep abusing or neglecting you, or doubling down on their abuse if you piss them off. It's not worth it. Literally the best thing to do is don't mess with it. Run. You wouldn't mess with a beehive. Think of each bee as one of the many ways a narcissist can and will hurt you. You are no match. Just run away.
From my experience, having compassion is like fuel for a narcissist. If you're a good kind person, you should be careful of people who are overly endearing to you.
The key here is to be safe. Mine tried to snap my neck when he thought I smiled when he was in a rage. Ok maybe I did but in my defense, his rages were becoming ridiculous to me. And back in the early 80's, we didn't know about the different personality disorders so to me he was just a grown man acting like a toddler when they don't get their way.
If my ever touches me he knows I will kick him in the balls. I warned him several times. I kicked him and he went down. I will never leave my house that I worked so hard for. He can leave.
I often overheard my narcissistic brother on the phone, but I never said anything because I still didn't realize what a narcissist he was, so I played along. When I finally figured out his game and he turned on me, I started exposing some of the lies that he told to people, things that he never wanted anyone to know about. He soon stopped fighting with me out of fear that I would expose more of his BS that he didn't want anyone to know about. My life has improved enormously.
Out of five siblings, I’m the only one who doesn’t entertain my narc brother’s 💩. And I’m the only one he and his wife defriended on social media. Good riddance!
I was the "truth teller" meaning, I didn't go along with the lies to get money or to avoid being ostracized by my mother. I am sorry for her. I did want her love but I needed to realize that people can never fill the hole in your heart, God can though and this is what saved me. learn to nurture and mother yourself so that you attract a better situation to yourself. look at life as a mirror of something you need to give yourself. if people reject you, look at where you might be rejecting yourself or devaluing yourself. they can't do it to us without our having done it to ourselves first. forgive yourself and learn the lesson, God is all there is, really. if we attracted broken, dysfunctional mirrors to ourselves, see how this shows us our "shadow" or hidden thoughts about what we believe we are worth. It is not holy to suffer, God does not want this. we do not have to "earn" God's love, we just have to surrender to it. God bless you.
@@xrotarebil yes blocked him already,he is a player for him screwing girls is nothing,for someone like me who is loyal and genuine it feels very bad and depressing to have associated with like dat in past!
Bear in mind that psychopaths and sociopaths also contain narcissistic attributes. Safer to cut off communications with the psychopaths and sociopaths than challenge them.
Absolutely. This video is off. While containing a lot of truths .. who’d want to make someone suffer purposefully and torture them .. beside a narcissist.
They can smell kindness :( my heart hurts. I’ve learnt not to expect anything from others now. A lot of people only seem to think about themselves. Protect your energy guys. Don’t lower to their level and take from it knowledge and strength. X
I am on a journey of 1.setting clear boundaries, 2.self love and 3.working on things that attract me towards me. It is all to do with mind. The first two are also in them. As empaths we have toxic traits that harm us. One needs to understand if doing good will bring joy into life or we are simply doing it because we are told to do this. Example: identify the things you LOVE to do and Identify the things you are "suppose" to do. The things you are suppose to do are usually draining us so we must bring joy in them and do them FOR OURSELVES WHEN WE WANT TO. Similarly we believe "what will others think of us" when the timw comes to leaving and they too think the same but in the initial stages. So this is WHY we become the perfect piece of the puzzle :)
Stay safe, but close the door hard on these people and don’t be afraid to tell anyone and everyone about it. They get away with their nonsense because no one typically says no to them.
I do agree with you, but only if you can get away. I was married to one for 18 years and every time I tried to leave, or kick him out, he would cunningly manipulate the situation so that we stayed together. I am finally out, and living my best life.
Ye I also realised this when i was 15. My narcissistic father who always beat my mother and torture my mother by brainwashing from night 11 pm till next morning 4 am talking all shits about his superioty and blaming her as the cause of her unsuccessful own life .He also gaslight me and my brother all the time. We can't able to focus on studies. Now as I'm writing this today itself npd father was on his rage.we suffer this every minute as we can't assume when will they get to these.
I noticed my mom was a nar when I was 12. It hurt until I was 15 and decided I had no hope in her being a mom and got on with my life. Now she's homeless and living at my house because I can't picture her homeless 😂😂 she wouldn't survive it
I am in a relationship with one who treats me awfully despite me giving my world to, sad we have people who we love and care for treat us the worst way
Being with my ex narc for the past 8 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I hired a private detective Metaspyhub@gmail. com. Once I knew what the narc was up to, it got easier to get over that lying, cheating, sack of doo doo, loser. I didn’t need closure from the narc, I paid for it. Best money I EVER spent!
I was reading your comment and i literally saw a mirror of myself... My -until two days ago- boyfriend kept telling me that his married ex girlfriend loves him more than i do and that she would do anything for him, but he doesn't want her...two days ago she went to his restaurant with another dude , he had locked the door and when i showed up , dead-tired, just to see him and listen to him all night talk to me like i am good for nothing, he told me that he won't open for me, because i slammed the door at him the previous morning, like THAT'S unacceptable!!😂 We ended up fighting really rough and he said i'm toxic and he doesn't want women like me in his life....
@@youareloved8274 all the time and every time. We all have to remember this about narcissists. Especially the covert ones. They are always and forever trying to emotionally manipulate us and get us to feel sorry for them.
I did these steps (except threatening to expose them) not because I hated him and wanted revenge. I did them because I finally was able to love myself more than the narc. It took 40 years for me to get it. Once it all clicked the Lord leading me, I had the courage to leave. It's been over a year. I'm still being healed by God. I have recently been diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer and have more than enough on plate. I am now happy and free even with the challenges I face. Happy New year!
Hi, I know we’re strangers, but I want to reach out because your life experience touched me. I’m sorry you’re suffering. You’re not alone. I hope you have family who are not toxic too. I wish you well. Keep fighting! Have a happy Christmas, even if you’re experiencing joy at the most simplest of pleasures, like the sunrise. There are gifts everywhere for us to discover. I know illness steals so much, & it makes your world smaller. Do not let the seemingly insignificant pleasures & joys pass you by; embrace each one! 🎄✨♥️
I used your advice. And let me say it absolutely works. My narcissistic ex tried to bring me down. But this time I stayed absolutely calm and responded in the same cold and "I don’t give a F” way. I just said. Sorry to hear you feel that way, but you are entitled to your own opinion. But regardless that won’t change me from having a wonderful day. Bye. Let me tell you. She went absolutely mad and called me all sorts of nasty stuff. I just waited and after some time I replied. Hope you are done, and again that’s your opinion and have a nice day... Then she began to respond with victim card oh and how I could be so cruel and she needed us to talk etc etc. I haven’t responded. I’m actually just laughing now instead letting everything get to me. So again thank you for the help. I have subscribed. Much love and respect from Denmark. You just saved my sanity and life.
They have lots of tricks up their sleeve, mine tried victim, then humour, then threats, anything and everything to see what would stick. I went total NO CONTACT 5 years later he is still trying to get my phone number???? You are right it does work, but only if we work it.
I've learned the best weapon against a narcissist is indifference, totally confuses them, and it's what you eventually truely feel anyway once you know exactly who and what they are. Having the knowledge and self confidence to torture them with mockery if they come at you is just a bonus.
@Frederick I'm not looking for advice thanks, that's an absurd statement, I can make a judgement call when there's a risk of physical danger but I'm not fear led. I know you mean well though
I wouldn't encourage anyone to play that silly game. Count your loses and leave. A narcissistic is a soulless being on a mission to destroy you. To waste time trying to play their manipulative games would cause you to lose yourself and even snap. I'd encourage people to cut them off cold turkey. Leave and cut all line of contact. That is how you win. CHOOSE YOURSELF and leave
It’s interesting challenging the idealized self of a vulnerable narcissist. It makes you feel like you’re being cruel but you know how cruel they were to others.
There is no doubt their spiteful, resentful behavior will be fueled. Thank you for acknowledging the need to respect your safety. I've done these and wow does their rage kick in and their boldness (like coming over without permission) increases. It's a dangerous "game" but it's important to self preservation b/c it's getting you back.
I’ve noticed how much social media has promoted narcissism. It’s frustrating to see how many people keep giving narcissists attention and keep feeding them.
Social media and social networks reward narcissistic behavior and help feed narcissism - especially the networks where "performance", shallowness, perversion and superficial "peacock" behavior are placed on a premium - Instagram, TikTok for example - social media companies earn their ad revenues through thousands of narcissists who "peacock" (These narcissists also bait millions to click, like, engage with them and use them for personal supply and professional gain) But real life is different from virtual life - that's where these "peacock" narcissists hoard victims for abuse - away from social media. The need for videos (like the one we are commenting on) is a way for survivors of narcissistic abuse in real life to be able to identify their personal challenges and find support and help in the company of others like them. This is the only positive outcome about social media and being online. Narcissists thrive by isolating their victims and breaking their will but when the victim becomes a survivor, the survivor still has to learn to re-integrate themselves back into society, find new friends, find support groups, get closure, heal and move on. Counseling, therapy and support groups, forums and empathetic online friends can help accelerate the healing process.
#1 is huge. HUGE. They will know if you’re acting and they will use this to further abuse you. You can’t be wishy-washy with it either. You cannot even give them an inkling that they are significant at all, or it won’t work. That’s why it must be authentic. I got so good at this that I had the narcissist tell me that I lacked empathy. I said “Well…maybe I do.” He said that I was cold and I just shrugged. My past interactions with that person would have been to defend myself to the ends of the Earth and provide evidence to the contrary. But….I truly don’t gaf if he thinks that now. I prefer that he does think that actually, so he’ll leave me alone. You need to get to the point of having nothing to offer them by way of emotion; good, bad or ugly. Save your emotions for yourself and the people you do care about.
Why even talk to this person then? I don't get it. You want him to leave you alone, yet you're talking to him. Seems counter-intuitive and perhaps a little covert-narcissistic.
@@sheogorathprinceofmadness2223 I’m not understanding if you’re just trying to overuse the word narcissist, but we have a child together. Unfortunately there are situations where I have to speak to him.
I promise myself that I will never call them and deal with them for the rest of my life. Thank you so much. Now I’m starting a new life and so happy moving forward.
Mocking them or laughing at them when they're attempting to get under your skin or push you to a breaking point is a sure way to push them to a breaking point where they become flustered and frustrated as hell... their attempts at belittling you and devaluing you are met with laughter smiles... Or flat-out mocking them while you do so,...
So true. I had a narcissist who flew into a fit of rage and swung her purse at me because after she called me a "fat bastard" I made a pretty tepid remark about her teeth. She ended up revealing during the ensuing frenzy that she got called "Bucky" many years ago. Sometimes a thing or two can be learned via a mockery of some people.
I have remained friendly and polite but stopped providing information that they can use against me and have only communicated online for months not face to face. It all helps me protect myself.
There are times when you cannot walk away, there are times when it is your son or daughter, your boss, your mother or father, the mother of your children... it is really simple, comparably speaking, when there are no kids involved; when there are kids involved, it is the worse case scenario, in my opinion. Step 1. Learning about personality types and how they interact, specifically your own and those you interact with. Step 2. Learning narcissism, narcissistic abuse, being aware of it. Step 3. Planning a set of moves that are aimed at increasing assertiveness, like talking to a lawyer, a psychologist, watching these videos. This video is great, thank you! And it does not have to be done aggressively. A narcissist behaves like an octopus. Their entire attack is based on their stealth, trying to protect their 100% lack of accountability as best they can. There are malignant narcissists, and there are narcissists who simply are wired that way, can cause harm, but they truly do not like it and have a life-long struggle with it. It is a good struggle and it shows they have a heart; however, they cannot pull away from their narcissism when extremely vulnerable in some way, and eventually they will act out their type. Once you learn about all this, it is like discovering the Matrix. When a narcissist confronts you head on, you can easily tell and deflect them, briefly attack them to break down their attack, and like an octopus they will run away, shaping and morphing into different colors and stuff to disappear and re-strategize. They will do this over and over, sweep everything under the carpet superficially, a brand new them to the world, but later when triggered all that shit comes back out, the same old octopus after all. When we cannot walk away, there are ways to satisfy their narcissistic supply, without them demanding it... sort of like giving them a controlled dose, letting them win some fights, choosing your battles, not always having to beat them down; after all, it is psychological and they cannot help it but to think the way that they think, as well as us thinking the way we think. In my perspective, this is the push and the pull that makes the world go round. There are to main types of people in this world, those who care, and those who don't care. Those who care are empaths, mainly, and those who don't care are narcissists, and the energy created between them is what makes it all so interesting. Empaths have to help, hate to be helped; narcissists hate helping people, and they are such victims that need to be helped. From the core, this spawns countless emotions and energy that creates all sorts of behaviors, scenarios, products and services. Not knowing about personality types, about narcissists and empaths, about how we are wired and function with each other, is like operating the most complex machine in the world, without training nor reading the instructions. What does this lead to? Any scenario is absolutely possible as a result... any.
True, but in their minds, the requests are reasonable and you are the one being unreasonable. Torturing people isn't the solution. Narcissists and slight autists (old aspergers) are being unfairly treated due to this internet wave mess that mixes things up and mistake them for psychopaths (ASPD) or pyschopathic narcissists (NPD + ASPD) who are intentionally evil.
The problem is in 4 hours you could cover psychopaths two times over in an informative video. Some of these hosts have 200 30min clips on narcissism and by the time you’d watched all what was said to do at the beginning has been contradicted 20 times by the latest. The old who’s got “ the newest” fad. It’s kind of scary victims guessing what the narcissist did to them. I’ll let you in on a little secret. The hosts are not out of it yet or are they heal. They haven’t started new lives . They have started a RUclips channel. They aren’t in new relationships, traveling, partaking in hobbies. Nope they talk about narcissism everyday. Probably 4 times as much as they ever have, they haven’t left narcissism. Live and breathe it daily. Making a 20min daily video with the “flash new method “ that they haven’t used nor are they role models for how to start a new life with out narcissism. Why do you think they are addicted to releasing new content? Becuase when they don’t and they stop they have to face the battles they still have not overcome.
It depends on if you are the primary target or not . Of course saying no to something minor ( to them) may seem to be the end of it but you have no idea if they are keeping tabs, contemplating another demand or doing something passive aggressively to seriously undermine you. This video is not really about just anyone with some narc tendencies but a narcicisst who depends on seeing you in misery to live - a higher end of the spectrum narcicisst.
Another good scenario to mess with them is when they start projecting their toxic traits onto you and the things they don’t like about themselves quickly agree with them and walk away. For example, if they say they can’t stand toxic people, say I agree then say goodbye and walk away.
@@moniqueaugustine8914 this is so true. My ex pulled all different tactics to get an emotional reaction from me once I started seeing who she really was. I started to move on and heal on my own, ignored her games while being physically away. She had the audacity to say that she had no idea why I was acting this cold and distant, I mean come on... she didn't do anything wrong! 🤡 After I announced the breakup (not my first try) I had to wait for more than a month to get my stuff back! Once she realised I am not bowing anymore she gave up. She never apologised. She never said "hey I know I messed up, I'm so sorry, please can we talk". No. She wanted ME to pursue her and work things out. Haha. What a poor soul.
😂😂 I've done this ... Recently...they will slam a few doors( same doors you barely hear open & close ), the same aluminum cans you never hear being set down will become the loudest thing you ever heard😅😅 and the sound of one being opened goes from almost silent to being popped open with such a force you would swear they were trying out for a Coca-Cola commercial, last but not lease they will all of a sudden start looking for something in those dresser draws that are opened and slammed 100+ times. OH! Almost forgot, when they know it's time that you usually go to bed, all the above mentioned continues with more aggressiveness then you could imagine along with pots & pans being hit together and an uneven load of clothes in the washing machine. 😅😅😅 That person stays out of my way now and as a roommate, I haven't seen the person but maybe 3/4 times in the last month.
@@veerakowlessar1353 it will trigger them for sure weather it’s a big or small issue. Now depending on the person maybe it’s wise not to trigger them, but in my case their games ran out and can not play in their fantasy world for my own sake and mental well-being. It wasn’t over night on how to deal with it, it took time.
1- be happy. 2- be strong. 3- mock and laugh at them when they are evil. 4- make sure they KNOW you hate them for being evil. The end. Have a nice day.
Nr. 3, 4 They are eager for attention wheater it is good (laugh inside being evil is what they do !) or bad (hate). The best to do and feel is indifference and have a good life.
1. Know what triggers you. 2. Learn 📕 to let it go. 3. Gradually stop ✋ talking about them. 4. Stop 🚫 thinking about them. 5. Avoid them at any cost 💵. 6. Be aware of what you don't want. 7. Know why you want to be happy 😊. 8. Start living a life that makes you happy.
Yes get off the emotional roller coaster that leaves you exhausted all the time and easier to manipulate look at all their ask yourself did that really happen is that real
What if they turn your whole community against you and probably the whole world!, that's what it feels like because everyone is joining his game like if they were puppets and I the lab rat. it's just a nightmare how now, he gets to wash his hands clean and let others kill me while he sits back and enjoys the show. Thank God for his protection or I would of turned crazy and probably shot the whole place up but I read what they did to Jesus and I learned from him. He taught me how to love my enemy and pray for them, how to be brave , how to be patient, how to be loyal and stick to my word and how to be compassionate just like my father is compassionate. God let's the sun hit everyone just as the same amount as he does to those that follow him. I need to know what I can do so people will stop living in that illusion or has the narcissist damaged my reputation forever?
@@ivannieves154 when I cut all ties from The narcissist I also cut all ties to their family and friends it's just a toxic environment sometimes you just have to move on start over and do you really think this person is turned the entire town against you or is that with the narcissist wants you to believe
Knowing someone is a narcissist and feeding off of you and everyone else you know/is a total phony or false projection, and knowing that most people DON'T know this person to be the truly abusive and helpless, vulnerable manipulative liar they truly are can be maddening. When they show up to a mutual friend's birthday for instance, and give YOU a gift after you cut off contact, its them showing off their power and not a gesture of wanting to mend the relationship. Trying to warn your other friends about this person makes you feel crazy when they don't believe you, because they've been brainwashed and deceived by them and will think you're lying.
This is amazing , my ex-husband was abusive in every way. I treated him this way after i finally got away. To take the power away from him felt better than I'd felt in a long time. Love to all you survivers out there xx
# 2 can be very dangerous to try . They are smart and will pick up on that and torture you for that . I had this with a boss . I didn’t dare try it. She reduced everyone to tears and then had a mocking smiling when she got that response .# 3. I actually did and she resented it totally and came back at me .
It's hell on Earth when you've a child with one. Another 11 years of schooling where every single parenting detail is fuel for abuse. My beautiful boy is being used as a weapon. It's been horrendously difficult to navigate through. But I'm gradually learning & gradually healing. Love & appreciate your sharing's bro. Thanks alot.
The real hell on earth is experienced by the child. Because he or she chose none of this. Please don’t forget to apologize to your child someday in the future when they become mature enough to comprehend it all. Please don’t take this advice the wrong way. I realize it was an honest mistake on your part. But as a child of a narcissist father, trust me when I tell you: Your apology will go a LONG way. Make sure the timing is right. Preferably when your child is near adulthood but still very young.
@@finster1968 Cheers. I had a f*****g s**t childhood up to 17. Now I see I've created a gentle replica & similar patterns for my boys to grow up in. As I craved having a family so badly I've been a walking wounded target & connected with the wrong women. I completely love being a father though & my son's are the best part of my life. I adore them. Learning to navigate a minefield of constant narcissistic parenting doom is unbelievably painful torture though. Yes I experienced this as a child to. Thanks for chatting out your view.
@@taricklloyd5904 - Thanks for the reply. Same story here. But I took a very different path and decided not to have any children. So you’re probably a better man than I am. This wasn’t meant to question your judgement or your dedication as a parent. But it sounds like you already know that. Take good care of those boys and they’ll be loyal to the end. Best of luck to you.
The last lesson in studying martial arts, is doing everything you can to avoid using it. That doesn't mean the skill is irrelevant. Thank you for giving us some moves to feel confident with.
Currently have a family member who I believe to be a covert/vulnerable narcissist. Honestly the best thing I found was once they're cut off and in no contact you simply just wash them clean out of your life, no point trying to stoop to their tactics or anything. They're the types to hold onto grudges for as long as they need to and usually they do so in order to justify their wrongdoings against you and as was said in the helpful video they will have a disproportionate reaction to your actions. As someone who loathes drama and conflict I don't have any time for that.
So if you believe someone has npd, it's appropriate to just go with that belief without actually knowing for sure and treat them a certain way thinking you are getting back at them.. even though you don't actually know if they have npd. You just feel like that person does and the actions affecting that person are justified.. you sure you aren't narcissistic?
If possible, you should gather evidence and present it to their peers. But only if the evidence is strong enough to make a very strong case. Otherwise, it'd just be gossip, which is ordinarily a pretty narcissistic behaviour.
The last thing I said to my mother was: Why don't you just pretend like I'm dead? I haven't spoken to the narcissistic nightmare for over 8 years now and I feel better than ever.
Good on ya. I didn’t speak to mine for over ten years and refused to say goodbye before she passed away. She spent her entire life trying to pass her generational curse onto my head and I wouldn’t allow her to do it. Meanwhile, she treated my younger sibling like a prince and he was so spoiled that he is out of touch with reality. This life is hard enough without people who supposedly “love” us mucking it all up.
@@Job.Well.Done_01 I'm in the same boat. Same doomed delusional sibling treated like a prince. There is something comforting in knowing that we aren't alone in these situations. Wish you the best.
These videos are great because Empaths seldom get news or updates after they've gone No Contact and this information shows and tells just how bad these Narcissists were fried in their own hogfat...
1. Zero contact.
2. Zero contact.
3. Zero contact.
4. Zero contact.
Easy ,if they are not family and neighbours !
Block block block restrict restrict restrict!!!!!
@@Ajax-o3l absolutely!🙂
@@Ajax-o3l if they're your boss or colleagues? But you're right, then should just go find a job.
Brilliant. This has worked wonderfully for my wife and myself separating from a whole bunch of self-importance psycho-leeches.
1. Walk away.
2. Walk away.
3. Walk away.
4. Walk away.
It is funnier to play with them.
@bernadettemcginnis3142 Most are useless old people, they can't win against a good beating stick,
Narcissists are VERY good at getting what they want. Walking away doesn't always work. It's so easy to manipulate people. It's all a game. People are pawns. Everyone serves a purpose in life. Otherwise, why have them around you? Seriously. I know they do in my life anyway. You have NO idea the lengths they would go to to have someone in their pocket or get the desired attention. Trust me. I've done some MAJOR stuff to get attention. We're not bad people though. Everybody acts like we are.
best approach is to walk away, but if you have a child with a narc then it's hard
Exactly
True torture to a narcissist is you don't even wanna torture them. You don't care. Whatever happens to them you're indifferent. You focus on yourself, not them.
I agree with this comment. I found myself thinking, as I watched this video, that doing this correctly would involve giving them even MORE of your time, attention, and energy, just so you could "get back," which feels like still being hooked. And it's not very adult. I just want to sidestep their games. What they do with that is their business, not mine. I just want to stop repeating this pattern in my other relationships. That's the hard part.
THIS
Yes. Roundbeargames you’re correct. I don’t want to torture anyone, I just want to be free.
Best advise 👌
Working on yourself make them less significant starve them of the attention they crave untill they are missing that "va va voom"
For a burger 🍔
When you had a steak 😋
True
1. Indifferent
2. Have your own life
3. No contact
4. Live your best life
It's easy to torture a narrassistic person, just put your own values before theirs...
@@tomsmarkovs1946 Oh my- you really need to get away.
@@auntihooha no kidding. living with and waking up to that kind of stress every day is a killer. whatever she may bring to the table, it's not worth the price of living in fear of a monster.
That was as simple and as true as it gets!
the animal cruelty hypocrisy one is interesting, my sister has been displaying more narcissistic traits since being with her boyfriend (who seems very narcissistic), and she is very hypocritical about animal welfare. she keeps rats, which actually started with one i was intending to feed to my snake. while i always prefer feeding humanely euthanized frozen-thawed rodents this one wasnt eating and I wanted to try offering it a live one to stop its hunger strike. when i got it at home the snake wasnt interested and since it was a juvenile and was already on the large side for that snake it would have been too large by the time I was ready to offer another meal. so I offered it to her to keep as a pet, and she since has gotten two more. im also somewhat allergic to rats, i wear a mask on feedign day to avoid too much exposure, but she keeps hers in my dads office which I have to pass through on the way to do my laundry. i keep all my snakes in my room, even though its inconvenient, so there is quite a bit of entitlement demonstrated already by keeping her personal pets in a shared space. even though i no longer feed any live rodents and all six of my snakes happily take frozen-thawed rats or mice off of tongs she still acts as if im some unfeeling monster that im not bothered by preparing dead animals to feed my pets. the drawback of feeding this way is you do have to sometimes waste the rats if the snakes dont want them, but again they were all euthanized humanely so its not a big deal. she acts as if its such a tragedy that a rat captively bred for the express purpose of becoming food was 'wasted'. not really a waste anyways because its necessary to give the snake regular opportunities to eat whether it actually does or not. this empathy is either just an act or a form of emotional dysregulation akin to that of a borderline, not true or healthy empathy. her true lack of empathy towards animals (and humans) is evident when it comes to the family dogs. ive always walked and fed them but ive recently been suffering from severe asthma attacks almost every day. so keeping up with the walking has been difficult. ive asked if she could step up for a while and take over some of the walking duties and she hasnt done it once. my empathy for the dogs who have come to expect the enrichment of daily walks always gets the best of me and i force myself to take them out and it takes me an hour or two just to recover from a 20 minute walk around the block. a real test of empathy is whether or not you are willing to inconvenience yourself to act on it, as they say , talk is cheap, and its easy to express empathy verbally but also relatively meaningless if not matched by action. and to be clear my sister has all the time in the world right now as she's on school holidays, its not that she's too busy to help out.
Mine has so much power over me still because more than 1/3 of my life's savings (I'm disabled with no income) and everything I own are all still under his control. Is he cooperating? No. He's Hoovering me like a staulker...
I can't Wait to get my own values back in the driver's seat of my life.
Congratulations for having apparently done it. Good for you!
The only way to win is not to play the game. The end.
War Games
God bless Richard Grannon. ✝️
💯. Rich has narc relationship with his subs
Well said! You expressed this in fewer words than I ever could. Words of wisdom. 🙌🏼♥️✨
Does this mean I should stop throwing dog shit over my narcissistic neighbour's fence?
Cut out and NEVER go back EVER. You are safe.
True & i did the same so never again i would be around such a person.
Yes but what about the people unsafe. Do people have to actually get cops involved. And does that even work
@@LeayahChristine go to the police if you're unsafe. If you're truly unsafe there's nothing to "work" or not work.
Dude I do not feel safe especially from police and court!!!!
@@sanctuairegaia5213 yeah it's a stupid comment. What if someone was in serious danger who read that, and then cut them off and ended up dead.
To ignore them its the biggest weapon .
The best weapon against a narcissist is total indifference. They want attention and reactions so a "Yeah, whatever 🥱" attitude drives them nuts.
Factz
They can’t take what they dish out at all!
That's called grey rock
No, no no. See the vid what do narcissists do when alone? If they're ignored the challenge is accepted. They plot, scheme, backstab, form alliances, control all the people they know you know. You ignoring them is just another way get back at you. You don't get off that easily.
But this is what narcissist do and say
They absolutely HATE to be ignored. When they can’t engage with you to get a reaction from you they lose it. They can’t stand not to be in control of their target’s emotions. 😎
Yeah I had to go no-contact on my entire family. For decades. It sent them nuts.
Truth!!!
True and sometimes they will come again and again. How many people out there that we think are simply narcissists?
Many of these people are more than just narcissists, they’re psychopaths, sociopaths, and Machiavellians. Some of these people may also have serious mood disorders or personality disorders too. I think this kind of thing is either more common these days, or just more in your face as American society grew more liberal, or, that maybe given the greater connectivity people have these days with the internet, social media, smartphones, etc.
We make more connections with more people than ever before. Either way, narcissism is such a disturbing phenomenon.
When I went onto a different room, after hours of yelling and talking, my ex would scream I've abandoned her like bloody murder.
@@jasonwimberly5636
They are also Very Subtly MALEVOLENT ! Mentally , Physically and Verbally and Use what i call METACOMMUNICATION to administer their Abuse ie Pulling faces to signal their Disingenuous Disgust hence suggesting they are superior and also twisting the Victims mind to have them Think ( What's the matter with me etc) - until eventually the victim realises the Narcs Metacommunication is Projected at them upon which Shock sets in and more confusion for the Victim.
From my experience with dealing with narcissists. Ignore them and don't break your silence under any circumstances.
Not just silence.. STOP doing any and everything that you have been doing for them previously. EVERYTHING!! that’s how I was able to rid myself of this one..give nothing!!
No conversation
No sex
No cooking
No cleaning
Not even a glance.. the demon flee within couple weeks.
Resist the ------ and it will _________??
yeah, I noticed they really enjoy it when they make you break the silence, it is like they are thinking *oh I finally can manipulate her again* and then lead you from a mere argument to complete madness... in the end, they are chilling and smiling talking in a calm voice while you are the *mad crazy scary one*
@@gooddoctor9542They get supply when they see that you contact them first. It feeds their ego. They need you to need them. Stay faaaaar away from these reptilian demons. Stay no contact for life and live happily ever after without them✨💖
so the silent treatment? sounds narcissistic to me...
@@christianstill.6654It doesn’t always work that way. If you choose to stay with the narcissist and they give you the silent treatment, sometimes you just have to ignore them.
There is only ONE way to win. Walk away and ignore forever. And live your best life. That's the most devastating blow you can deliver.
Don’t try to torture a narcissist. They are already tortured. NO CONTACT FOREVER.
💯💯💯💯
HOW?
Gets really muddy when there’s children involved. You have to confront them. It’s sick. Someone uses their children for control. I’m living it right now.
😂😂😂
i agree but kids ?! i dont want contact ta all or our daughter to aee him she doesnt want to wither ?! help
Have no mercy or sympathy on the narcissist whatsoever.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I haven’t.
For those of you are saying not to play the game. We live in a VERY narcissistic world. So you have better equip yourself with some tools that will help protect yourself. You can’t run and hide forever because these type of ppl are everywhere!
Thank you for saying this - I thought that I was just some kind of narcissist magnet.
No contact is the only way to go.
They are EVERYWHERE! They LOVE positions of power! So if people think they can ignore these types of people still are kidding themselves. They are your city managers, majors, cops, doctors, etc. They hold extreme prominent positions BECAUSE we have ignored them and walked away. They will destroy our communities
Exactly!
Yes, they are!
In normal world yes. I agree. Otherwise you'll lost your whole life.
In relationships, with partner, friends or family definitely yes, - NO CONTACT! Otherwise you'll lost your whole life
The fact that nobody talks about forbidden books on Revandles is so crazyy
whats that book
Because nobody likes it
Imma buy it
@@nyxiebaybe8141 Just type in on google Revandles and you will see it or on youtube
@@nyxiebaybe8141 Just type in Revandles on google or youtube you will find it .
Detaching yourself and letting them go is the best way to get rid of them.
Oh yes & you send them packing
And pray they agree to go. Removal from your world does not remove you from theirs.
Give em nothing, take em nowhere: they'll get the message. If they're not family, that _person_ won't come back. There is no prayer nor agreement (unless there's a particular difficulty, like, relating to employment) - you just do it, and learn to breathe again so that you remain kind-hearted. Easy to become a monster, like they have become. Walking away is not only a duty to oneself, but to that _person_ as well, because sooner or later, they _might_ ask themselves a few questions which _might_ disturb the pool into which they hopelessly gaze enough to awaken themselves from their dopey pain to realise that they can heal. Don't tell em that though; they have to learn it to earn it, and that, at least in theory, _might_ teach them a little uh-oh thought that snaps them out of a tendency to be crap. They might think about their own relevance, for once.
The worse thing you can do to a narcissist is “no contact”. Anything else is still giving them some control of your life and they’ll take that as a win.
Yeah but they still don't care in the way that a normal person would. They just move onto someone else
@@80sbaby90 Yes and then we don't care. Thats the whole point. They were never in it to begin with, they need to be given Oscars for their performance, its the best you will ever see in your life. But its not real.
@@80sbaby90 I don't think u understood what Richard said about reducing their impact on your life destroying their narcacisstic self image. If u did, u wouldn't be saying this.
I don't agree. .
Not with me 😂😂😂....I think I got my closure after he tasted his own medicine and than no contact 😂😂
Being happy is the main thing that makes them angry and upset. They hate to see other people happy and doing better than them because they are miserable people.
Yes!
I'm fact, she was so miserable that she could barely stand being in the outside world, and if she was, it was to tell me if someone paid her a compliment on her looks that day or if her coworkers or boss had been a-holes.
I always tried to come up with shared activities but there was no way to make her actually happy. There was something wrong with everything and she had to rush so she didn't lose her other supply that gives her money.
this is the true root cause. you are right.
I don’t entirely agree. Think there are different levels to this one aspect.
Sounds awesome. I was thanking God earlier because He inspired me to dance and celebrate my way out the pain and waste of that relationship and my God reassured me that He will comfort me and allow me to overcome through love and joy. Let's start the parties now. He tried to come sex me for an hour or 2 like a hooker and I saw he was already planning to buy some dutty gal juice n lives with her or was running to her after me. That was the last boundary he crossed with me forever. It's over with him! I want my wedding band back cuz he doesn't deserve it or me! I need love, joy and prosperity a healthy lover and husband and now Imma get it. Thank You Lord. Lessons learned. Advance & level up. HALLELUJAH 👑 AMEN
Truly
Truly Forgive Them.
Forgive Yourself.
Heal your ❤, Mind, and Soul.
Guard, and Do Not Negotiate Your PEACE, for anyone or anything.
As someone with a narcissistic mother, it honestly hurt to hear you say that you just have to accept the fact that you never had a parent. I've always wished I had a normal family, but the older I get, the more I realize that you can't reason with someone who has a warped sense of reality and self.
Same. It's a bitter pill to swallow.
My mother is a terrible narcissists and only gets worse the older she gets and never believes she is wrong or needs psychological help. Unfortunately at a young age and through the years I was subjected to verbal alcoholic mental abuse. I had parents that would fight constantly never once seeing them loving or affectionate to each other. Either through genetics or exposure in that environment I have found that I have narcissistic tendencies that have wreaked havoc in my personal life, with friends, teams, jobs, and worst of all my marriages. Unfortunately for me my first wife was also a narcissists so we just made each other so miserable by the time it was over I was worse off than I had ever been before meeting her. I had no idea what I was or even realized till years later what my ex was but we did it to each other during our short time together. It was my next wife of 12 years that broke my heart and made me realize that I had problems. She is the greatest person in the world and I just couldn't show enough love or give her the time and help with the kids. I would get selfish and lazy and even I got a second chance after an argument that almost ended us. I tried so hard to be who she wanted me to be. It lasted a while and then I would just slip away again without even realizing it. I would catch my self here and there and would do my best to make it up to her when I would notice I was slacking. I even would go couples and therapy on my own to try and figure why I kept hurting her even when I felt like I wasnt. But I was. I just couldn't keep up I would miss cues and signals more often. I was in my on little world oblivious to those hurting around me.
My marriage might be over now and all I feel is shame and the fear while trying to tell myself I want her to happy and healthy without me. I still love her and daily I have to fight the hurt anger and rage I get towards her in moments of quiet reflection that I dont understand.
I know Im not a total narcissists or else I would be completely unhinged but do have fight panicked urges to beg for forgiveness I dont deserve. But it hurts on the other side too, for people who didn't cheat or lie to their spouses and thought that was enough. To not know or understand the mental burden or strain I put my wife under even though she was begging me to see it and I just couldn't change. Its heart wrenching because I do love her but I just cant be her person because Im broken and breaking her.
I fear for my daughters having this if its genetic. I see it my sister and her daughter. Its a horrible nightmare I wouldn't wish on anyone much less it becoming a painful family tradition. I try to still seek help to change and better myself through therapy. I want whats best for my kids and my wife. To stay in our house while I leave. The worst part is I still have pay a mortgage and wouldn't be able to get an apartment so I would have no choice but to go stay with the one person who made me this way "My Mom". For the sake of my familys health I'll do it but I fear it may be very bad for me when it comes to making progress in trying to change in that environment. Sometimes you just have no choice but to be doomed.
This was a great video!
It’s ok to grieve. If you can be an amazing parent to your kids that can help you heal and reparent yourself.
Same here. Both parents. It was awful. I've gone no contact with both for over 10 years. It's the only way to deal with Narcissists in general.
What I've learned from dealing with narcissists is that you should understand their behavior and don't play or go into battle with them. Unless you are ready to consistently think and act like one, it's mentally exhausting trying to beat them at their own game. You have to change your way of thinking while this is their whole personality. Ignore, get some distance, and just live your life.
And dont let them get an emotional rise out of you. They feed on that. It makes them feel powerful. Inside they are all very fragile little children and they know that and fear that everyone else will know it. When one starts talking to you (assuming you are not in a relationship with them) train yourself to think about something else while they are talking. Even if it is 'I wonder if there are any interesting articles in that magazine on the table over there.' And while they are talking completely ignore them and walk over and pick up the magazine and thumb through it and get immersed in an article. The ultimate gray rock.
Do not have any contact, move and you hopefully will never see them again. I have gone as far as deleted my FB account. New life for me finally, minus alot of loved ones but no choice. My loved ones chose him when I was paralyzed. No loyalty lost.
Agree! You have to completely disengage from them
Leave them to psychopaths to toy with
Really, what a waste of time. People rarely change.
The best thing I've learned on how to deal with narcissistic people is to not engage them in anyway. Pretend that they don't exist. If you see them around and they talk to you. Pretend they're not there. If they call you, block their number all their social media accounts. If they talk to your friends or family about you tell you're friends and family you're not interested in talking about them, they will tell them on their own the next time your name comes up with the narcissist. And the most important thing I've learned is don't give them ammo. Do not vent about them, do not say anything about them and don't say anything nice about them either, do not say anything that might validate their feelings if it were to get back to them. Do not engage, do not vent, do not validate. You're strong and you will break away from this person. You got this.
Kind of hard for me to do this when it's my mom and she recently moved in cuz of being disabled and it's torture lol
@@Misguidedaliengamer I can imagine this is very difficult, I'm sorry you have to live this way. Is it your home?
@@Misguidedaliengamerput her in a nursing home if you can afford it!!!!
I face a very similar situation. Stay strong bro@@Misguidedaliengamer
❤❤❤❤thank you. It really helps. Make me stronger
Ignoring them makes them cray cray and leaves them bewildered
The best revenge is to walk away, get help, improve yourself for yourself and live a happy life enjoy the small things everyday. Love & light to all survivers of narc abuse ❤️
Thank you so much.
Facts
Thank you I’m healing and my life is better now that they are not here anymore. 🤷🏽♀️
❤️❤️🩵🩵♥️♥️❤️🩹❤️🩹💕💞
Experienced divorce lawyer here. Great video! I hope this video reaches people BEFORE they get tangled up with a narcissist. Stay safe out there! Vet very carefully and for a long time before considering marriage. Divorcing a narcissist can be extremely stressful and very expensive.
Did you ever have the situation where your own client was the narcissist?
💯 my ex dragged me through 3 different courts making false allegations! They are so vengeful if you don’t want them back! Used kids too.
I wish I could go back…I did not see it coming and didn’t take my time :-(
@@reinmarvonzweter666 Great question. The answer is yes.
divorcing them is stresful.. that is an understatement... particularly when your lawyer and the courts ignore you and feed the narcissist..
I finally divorced my narcissistic wife and threw her out. I put her on no contact almost a year ago. I can tell you after going through a lot of pain and trying to think of ways to repay that pain to her the BEST thing I did was let go and move on. Once I stopped fighting back and focused on ME and getting ME better and moving forward and improving every area of my life her rage and pain was evident. MOVE ON. Trying to get payback actually feeds them. They are EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES. Starve them. Give them nothing. Shut them out completely and move on and the better your life without them the more enraged and pained they become. Someone once told me, "Each of us creates our own hell. Let them burn in theirs."
Amen ♥️
Thank you.❤️🙏🔥✨
AMEN 🙏🙏🙏
U r right man.
Perfect!❤️
NO CONTACT is honestly the best solution.
🚫 BLOCK them, ignore them, no contact at all
Yup
hard as a child
thats dont work buddy they end up gettin unblocked
and post Subliminal messages for u to see em role playin a victim then Provoke a reaction outta u to going back and forth to blocked again u can always unblock to cycle i hate it
You have to go through family Smfh I need this info
Upsetting narcissistic people is really easy. Not triggering them is the hard part.
Facts. Anything you do or say that makes them feel shame or feel inferior will be seen as an attack against their false narrative.
Correctamundo!
How to trigger a narcissist- be yourself. Best to get far away as soon as possible.
they already idiot in the first place. Its the truth. Should had stayed in their lane tho.
Sometimes they come home pre-triggered. Then they have you to take it out on.
When you lower yourself to the same level as a narcissist, 9 times out of 10 they beat you with experience. Devalue their effect on your life, gray rock them, or go no contact. Heal yourself and move on.
Dont wrestle a pig ; you both get dirt but the pig enjoys it
Speaking your mind and unload on them to call them out for the evil they have done against you....is most definitely not putting yourself to the same level.....
can you explain? in details, what does 'lowering yourself to their level means' pls
Yip, never wrestle a pig - you'll both get filthy and the pig will enjoy it.
@@peterwheeler4402 my ex narc taught me this.,.but what if you enjoy it too and not just the pig?😸😸😸
Most narcissists can’t tolerate being ignored; the act of silent treatment strikes the narcissist much harder because of their need to feel validated. As the narcissist understands that you are intentionally ignoring them will deflate their inflated ego. Their self-esteem is connected by how much attention they can get from you or others.
A person with high levels of narcissism can get more aggressive when being ignored. When they think you are ignoring them, some won’t be able to control their temper, so they may lash out or change their approach by being aggressive with their calls or text messages demanding to talk or communicate with you. They will never be ready to discuss or be accountable for what they did or said to you. They will just expect you to accept what they want or need while they will be very hypocritical by ignoring their actions. Yes, they will be mad or upset at you for ignoring them, but when or once you call them out on their behavior, they will get mad at you, and in return ignore you.
Even if you ignore a narcissist for whatever reason that may be, they will eventually get bored and seek attention from someone else. The narcissist may replace you with someone else who won’t ignore them and give them the attention, and control that they seek. This is why ignoring a narcissist should be more about you, and less about them. This is how they operate, and how they satisfy their narcissistic supply. Solution: Ignoring them is one of the easiest ways to redeem your control, regain your sense of clarity, and restore your power by focusing your attention on yourself. As far as what happens to a narcissist when you ignore them is really irrelevant. May you know the signs. May you not become a victim. And may you be more concern about your healing, recovery, and emotional-mental health.
Additionally, If you suspect cheating or other forms of manipulation and need to gather evidence for your own peace of mind, you may consider reaching out for assistance. For more information, you can contact: MetaspyHub@gmail. com.
We give silence to protect ourselves, they give us silent treatment to punish. Huge difference
@@Lailat854I can feel you really know the narcissist.. very true!
It can be hard or torturing on both of you but zero contact, totally ignoring him/her and simply moving on is way to Go!
#2 & #4 can really be dangerous and they can counter back! Remember that they are actually trying to elicit a response either positive or negative from you so if you post anything about them can only given them cues that you are still onto them and they still have your attention - this will only give them a hole to dig in to torture you back and even trap you again on a roller coaster ride!! ☝️
I have a brother in law that hated it when I started ignoring him at gatherings. He had the nerve to tell my husband to make me speak to him. Lol. Husband responded that I didn’t trust him because BIL always lies and makes stories up. He lost his mind. We still don’t talk to him 20 years later. What a peaceful life.
Golden. I figured this out and use it 9n my brother and little sister. He's a damn crazy psycho and she's a little bitch. I have 2 more brothers that know this about them two. We all agree and have a plan. They'll be sorry. I'm only around them because of our elderly parents for now after that, they'll never be in my life. Freaks. I can't believe we're related. They'll be jailed or something. I travel with my husband for his work and never home. Never. I plan on getting rid of my cell phone which I can't wait. They couldn't find me with GPS. They can rot in Hell
The fact that your husband knew your stance so well and stood up so perfectly is actually glorious to hear.... would love to have seen that !1
I dropped my emotionally abusive gas lighting brother over 20 years ago. Not long ago, he personal dropped a letter in my mailbox asking how I was. He never acknowled not one of the many things he did to me. He ended the letter with, "After all these years, the least you can do is answer this letter"...that line confirmed nothing had changed; my life has been peaceful without him and his family .
I’m working on the healing process to become a super empath.
My question is how to deal with a narcissist that you cannot completely go “no contact” and simply just remove from your life?
Unfortunately, this is someone I will have to associate with at least a couple times a year (this is my sister in laws husband ). My wife really loves her sister and her sister is genuinely a good person, but had the bad luck of marrying a narcissistic jerk.
This person has repeatedly shown a pattern of unacceptable narcissistic behavior not just to me but others.
I have stood my ground a few times which led to fights, gas lighting, but dealing with this constantly is frustrating. What’s even more frustrating is I have never been able to talk to my in laws or sister in law openly about this. They don’t like taking about these things and neither does my wife. They realize how he is and just accept it and try to ignore it. But for me ignoring it is very difficult.
I am regularly just thinking of all the things this person has said done and keep thinking what will happen the next time I have to see him. Keep think of scenarios and how I must respond to him. Keep thinking of things I should have said but didn’t because I bit my tongue. It’s very exhausting.
Any advice?
@@openworldgamer2156 figure out what is your priority; your mental health and quality of life, or giving into a person(s) who expect and insist you accept unhealthy abusive behavior. If you choose the former, be ready to let those people go. I chose a long time ago not to bother with anyone's bs and I've never regretted it.
The narcissist above all else wants to matter. the more you ignore them, the less you're bothered by them, the more you win. don't let them matter.
Be careful if exposing them to their supply...narcissistic rage is crazy.
Yeah, gotta take precautions and use their own tactic of well-poisoning against them
Though this time around, you shield the well in advance from their poisoning, aka make sure they find out way late or preferably last about getting exposed so they can't spin it around anymore. Garner with evidence, voila - the narcissist lost footing with all but their most gullible piglets (aka the ones giving him the least amount of sustenance) and will experience ANGUISH. From which they will hopefully learn about humility and not to become even more covert and finessed on their next try.
The trump court cases are going to get interesting
@@johnsteel5347 It was interesting that JB goes to Hawaii and talks about almost loosing his Corvette.
So when someone gets into a fight and is angry because you hurt his feelings, you will call him narcissistic? Think about that.
@@darkizofficial facts don't care about feelings
I was best friends with a psychopath.
I always admired how calm he was. Cool and calm. He was a nice guy. Former preacher.
He always drove as fast as he could. Drove in the left lane.
He faked empathy.
He future-faked me all the time.
He betrayed me in the end. After 12 years of friendship.
I now realize that psychopaths want to see you beg. It makes them feel powerful.
He did the same thing to his ex wife. He abandoned her when she was pregnant with their baby.
He refused to help her. I now understand why she despises him so much.
He has no conscience. He lies to everyone. He steals every chance he gets.
If you meet someone who shows little emotion, watch out!
Seeing so many people with the same experience here makes me feel a sense of belonging. In the East, knowledge is not widely available and life is so lonely.
Oh boy, tell me about it, I am from the East too, and was thinking the same like you, a sense of belonging with people who have gone through the same traumatic experience and understand what it is like dealing with a narcissist. Very thankful for such educational videos, you are not alone, God bless.❤
I think in time it will be realized that a narcissist is not only generated from abuse, it can also come from being overindulge as a child.
I totally agree. Narcissism seems to be a response to child trauma and attachment problems, whether that be neglect from one parent and over-indulgence from the other or whatever. This should create pity rather than a desire to torture, but not to the extent that you accept their behaviour.
@B. Clifton, I agree. Providing a child an environment were they are coddled, enabled, and rescued by the parents promotes the perfect opportunity for a child to become a "Golden Child" narcissist. An idol amongst the family. The child that is overly praised and cherished by the parents provides him/her the mindset that they are the special one and are held in high regard amongst their other siblings, because of a variety of reasons such as their attributes, birth order, accolades from school, friends, community recognition, influence, and reputation. The parents over accommodate and indulge the "Golden Child" with materialistic possessions that are not provided to the other children.
Abuse and neglect are not the only avenues for an individual to become a narcissist.
@@CharlieWhiskey549, Create pity for the narcissist? Please elaborate.
They choose to be like controlling a good person move on but their grudge choose to blame others for their own fault
True, my ex was the step sister so she was "unloved" but the sister was placed on a pedestal and fully supported even after being an adult, she's a different monster.
The best move is to move away from them. Drop them focus on yourself don’t play games there’s no need for revenge.
Yes thank goodness for Bitcoin
They're not going to change so yes, it is best to just move on. They have a disorder. Let them be someone else's problem. I don't have time for playing games. They will never be happy anyway.
They will face their karma & it's a rude awakening for them
If you absolutely have to “deal” with a narc, I would recommend to keep firm bounderies, and keep your distance at the same time. As a second choose on how to deal with the narcissist I would recommend keeping firm boundaries and also to correct them every time they missteps, lie, manipulates etz. When your boundaries are not respected by the narcissist, you need to follow through with consequenses of bad behaviour. You will have your hands full going forward this way. When following through with consequenses to their “re”actions, you explain to the narc, that you are not one of the narc`s victims. You have no intentions of becoming one but will be a nuisance to the narcissist in a way that is irritating to him/her. This method is not risk free but narcissists will often choose the path of no or low resistance. This method is a time consuming path to chose. This route sometimes require more time than you would like to spend on these issues. You feel that distancing yourself all together would have been easier. That is however not always possible. Often there is no way to avoid him/her. You unfortunately have to deal with the narcissist because you are colleagues or close family. You must think through what you need the narcissist to respect and what arias of conflict you must pay extra attention to, to keep your integrity and to detect manipulative behavior. Be prepared and clear in your communication and stick to your guns. Try to stay under the radar as much as you can, even when this method is the best for you. A way that works as well is to play along with the narcissist and act like you agree with everything they do and say. This method works well until many people in the narcissists sphere do the same. When everyone agrees with the narcissist you are back on square one. The narcissist must have victims and this setting is no different. To go NO Contact is another good alternative and method, and is probably the best option when it is possible to cut all contact permanently. Additionally, If you need to find out about a cheating narc; send a request to: Metaspyhub@gmail. com
It was crucial for me not to get too emotional regarding his abusive childhood because the compassion, my love would lead to my experiencing his abuse over and over again because he would behave sadistically and I"m "oh but, (picturing him as a young innocent abused child, because I genuinely loved the man)
THAT almost did me in time and time again
Success is the best revenge
thats bollocks. the more success the baby mother sees, the more money she will try to con out of you.
THE GREATEST SUCCESS FOR ME N MY SONS IS STAYING TF AWAY FRM HIM😈HIM SEEING WE NEVER NEEDED HIM
@@suncity22001wow.. you have trauma… if child support goes up just ask for an itemized bill to see everything the money is spent on, just make sure you get it in writing and have a lawyer sign off and be a witness or have it done there in court. Simple, not sure why y’all make things complicated for yourselves emotionally, mentally and financially.
@Melanin2670
Salute! 💯💯❤ They want children, but they don't wanna pay at the end. Everything is money nowadays because bills, foods & etc. What dumb MF don't want their children to ride in a nice car, have the best clothes, shelter, school & etc??! It's time and energy ✨️ Stay GREAT, beautiful!! Bless you & your children. Safe journey. 🙏🙏🙏💜💜💜
@@suncity22001 were talking about narcissists not relationships with narcissists
The best way to deal with a narcissistic person? Don’t!! Recognise, remove, recover!!! 💕
Not always possible. Could be your boss or a co worker or family member or other parent of your children. Even your adult child's parent or in laws
@@louise2091 Hi 👋🏼 yes you are correct, they could be your boss or your parent. You do have a choice as to whether tolerate abuse. I’m 7 years no contact with parents and family, I’m self employed too. The choice is yours. It’s not an easy choice but it’s a very simple one. Trust me when I say, they do not change. Ask yourself, in 5 years what will my situation look like? If you want more of the same , stay as you are. If you want change, be brave, let go 💕. Yes they have enablers who gang up on you, however if you have children, ask yourself, how do I want my children to see me? Do I want to be a shining example, or, do I want them to witness me being abused?
@@louise2091 You can still disengage by not allowing them to trigger you. You can deflect their abuse by refusing to show an emotional reaction to the crap they dish out. They distract easily. Don’t focus on their crap. Change their channel. Dial down their noise. Read up on cognitive dissonance. They provoke because they can’t bear to think of how they would handle it if you weren’t available to them. Feel sorry for them because they have zero insight. Emotionally they’re still 12 or 13 years old with barely intact egos. Like he said, there’s splitting. Fractured reasoning. Flat out disconnects that were a lifetime in coming.
I know this. But it's my mother and my daughters father and I get upset when they mess with my children, who have enough to deal with! But I know all of this but find i still have feelings to deal with. I'm no contact with my ex and imagine my mum is just a little girl who doesn't know better. I'm 62 and find I still crave to be seen and heard despite knowing that this is impossible. Thank you for your reply
@@louise2091 Absolutely, it's my in laws, it's extremely difficult 😔
As the daughter of a narcissist mother, it is the most difficult and painful experience of my life.
Me too. I'm the son of a Narc mother. She's gone, and i'm older. Still have wounds, but getting better.
I'm going through the same. You are not alone.
Mine is extremely that way hun.
Same here. Slowly disengage yourself emotionally and psychologically from her. Your life is your own. Slowly see her as a neighbor and then a stranger. It takes time. Less communication starves their narcissist behavior.
Yeah, it's brutal being tortured and horribly abused by the people we are supposed to be able to trust and count on the most. I'm sorry.
Be honestly happy and leave them behind. They will fight your shadow while you’re gone.
This is the single best advice: Reduce their significance in your life. The sooner you do this, the more you disempower the narcissist(s). Don't empower the narcissist by focusing on them (they are just a distraction). Focus on you and being the best version of you!
Thank you
The way you win is to literally not give a shit and focus on your own life. They become irrelevant. All this stuff is just giving them more energy and keeping YOU in the game. Total waste of your own time and healing. I know a narcissist that hurt me deeply. Today, I could give a shit what they think, what they are doing or who they are doing it with. I never, ever think about them anymore. GAME OVER.
Exactly, no contact till I die, going on 6 yrs in 2023,life is excellent 👌 for me 24/7.
Awesome, thank you very much Richard . Spot on mate .
What are you going on about? You're watching a video on how to torture a narc, you then talk about how you couldn't give a shit & never ever think about them anymore.. Are you sure? Just that you go around posting about it says you still think about them.
@@TenableVegan I actually don’t and haven’t for over two years. I rarely watch content on this subject matter I just haven’t unsubscribed yet. When I was in the thick of it I was subscribed to all the content and was totally obsessed. I honestly, Hand on heart have healed. It took me years. And it’s a process and the ONLY way to get over it is no contact. After a year of no contact it’s all over in your mind.
@@TenableVegan Yep! They never ever think about them yet here they are telling everyone about them!
I had 2 narcissist relationships back to back. First was overt, second covert; but endured the same abuse. I’ve been single for almost 3 years. Worked hard in therapy for 7 years. Once you know who they are and what they “look” like, you realize there are a lot of them. I refuse to date anyone that shows multiple flags. I take my time, moving slow, saying no early and often, and I talk a lot less about intimacy and my past. I just keep it light and airy. Most of the men I meet, end up removing themselves. It’s a tough line to walk, getting to know someone AND having healthy boundaries, but it’s so necessary! Congratulations to all that were able to escape the roller coaster, and for those who are wanting to get out… there is hope and you DON’T need them!! It’s hard at first but not nearly as hard as staying with them.
I agree with you.. there are a lot more narcissists out here than is reported on with statistical estimates. The time is drawing near. I'm not giving him supply. I heard him packing up his things .. i think he is finally about to leave ❤
@nmc1859 You have a community behind you to help you thru this process. I don't know a single narcissist survivor that doesn't want to help a fellow victim. Be strong, be safe. We're here for you! 😊
@@nataliemarie1483Thank you for rocking your natural beauty.
@@nataliemarie1483Congratulation! Did counseling help you figure out why you keep extracting narcs?
😢
The only way to take control from a narcissist is to get yourself from their domain first. You wont be able to figure out anything until and unless you are out of the hellish world. I will tell you one of my favourite stories. Once a King was too disturbed by everything that was happening around him. He felt as if no one was loyal to him and he was always afraid of his kingdom being attacked by perpetrators. He lost his sleep and his life had become hell. So he thought of taking a brief sojourn in the countryside. He passed through lush green fields and picturesque landscapes. The silent breeze that brushed through his hair filled his heart with joy. That is when he saw a farmer who was putting fence around his farmland. But his farmland had weeds all over and they hardly had any crops. This intrigued the King. He asked the farmer as to why was he putting a fence around the farm when the farm itself was covered with weeds. To this the farmer said that the farm was his own so he could get rid of the weeds whenever he liked. But he cant stop the stray dogs from running over his fields and destroying them. That is why he was putting the fence. To stop the stray dogs from venturing into the field. Once he was very assured about the security of his fields he can work on clearing the weeds and planting crops. On hearing this the King somewhat got the answer which he had been searching for. The human mind is also like the field. You cant control assholes from fiddling with your mind or saying bullshit. But you can definitely put a fence ( figuratively) so that these assholes cant influence you. And until and unless you dont put a fence you can never work on yourself. Once you have distanced yourself from toxic people then you can work on the healing process. Same is the case with narcs. Narcs are these stray dogs who suck your energy emotionally. They play mind games for fun because their mind wants melodrama. They hurt the very people who love them. So total isolation from these narcs is absolutely essential for the well being of your Mind. Once you are out of their mind games you can take decisions rationally. Narcs try to drain you emotionally. So everytime you respond to their low vibrations you tend to come to their level. But when you react confidently without panicking and without responding to their negative vibrations that is when you Win. When someone realises that you arent being influenced or being manipulated by their actions they will get tired of it. And after cutting them off completely from your lives you should work on your healing process. Work on clearing your mental clutter and keep yourself preoccupied. Read books and most importantly try to find your Purpose in life. When you find your Purpose you will be able to bear any pain in this World. Most importantly help others in need. When you find someone else who is stuck with a narc help them to get out of that. I feel this is the way to take control from a narcissist. P.S: I hardly find people around me who know about emotional abuse. But I think everyone should read and know about it. In today’s mean world you will find a lot of people who try to influence you or demoralise you using the sweetest of words. Its about identifying these covert manipulators and distancing yourself from them. I have immense respect for people who have survived narcissistic partners. They happen to be the most strongheaded and emotionally stable people you can come across. I learn a lot of things from them. Truly the broken will always be the most beautiful. Moreover, People wonder why they end up hurt, seriously hurt, and even killed for their own actions. Cheating is a choice and there’s simply a lot of ignorance in the process.... Thank you so much for helping me out Barryinvestigation@gmail. com. Your advice and services helped me so much. You are a lifesaver !!! The information you gave me about my cheating partner when you gave me access to his phone was everything I needed to get,.. thank you very much..
Great comment
Thanks for the story!
I want to save this It is wonderful
Thanx
REMEMBER Your misery makes them happy... Ergo your happiness will make them miserable.
So.. Please.. Get well. Move on. Find yourself. Find True love. And always remember this.. You are a beautiful person with a big beautiful heart and you are loved more than you will ever know.
Love from Scotland x
Thank you ❤
@@RobinGreen-b2p your very welcome ❤️
I soooo needed to hear this. Thank you❤
@@ceedee9669 your very welcome. Good luck on your journey x
i only started being loved once i escaped my 'family' home. ive been physically free for 10 years now and had hours and hours and hours of therapy. since becoming a mother, i realised how much my mother failed to protect her kids... she blames suspected adhd on why she didn't do anything. once i have my second child in about 3 months, i can allow myself to deal with that stress and put shit right once and for all. my mother allowed my dad to abuse my brother and her, then she allowed my brother to abuse herself and me, sadly that's barely the tip of the ice. you message... worth more than white gold to many many people.
I agree, especially that last part. Don’t abuse the abuser. It to me seems like becoming the thing you hated in the first place. Don’t create a new cycle.
This right here. After a while, I wound up mirroring his abuse for my own sanity (more-so to feel ANY sense of justice), but it doesn't fix anything. It does not change the narcissist, they don't seem to notice and they just keep abusing or neglecting you, or doubling down on their abuse if you piss them off. It's not worth it. Literally the best thing to do is don't mess with it. Run. You wouldn't mess with a beehive. Think of each bee as one of the many ways a narcissist can and will hurt you. You are no match. Just run away.
I couldn’t agree more! I want more of love out in the world, not hate!
Recently read, or heard from legit source that 1 in 6 people are narcissistic
Revenge is sweet and absolutely necessary for the betterment of society. It is our fault that abusers feel safe to go around stepping on everyone.
yeah the good people have become to weak, cowardly and tolerant
Yeah it's a fine line to walk
From my experience, having compassion is like fuel for a narcissist. If you're a good kind person, you should be careful of people who are overly endearing to you.
When you see that a person is narcissistic, plan quietly and run. Don’t look back.
The key here is to be safe. Mine tried to snap my neck when he thought I smiled when he was in a rage. Ok maybe I did but in my defense, his rages were becoming ridiculous to me. And back in the early 80's, we didn't know about the different personality disorders so to me he was just a grown man acting like a toddler when they don't get their way.
Do you hear yourself trying to justify a laugh for not being physically violated? You need to respect yourself way more woman
If my ever touches me he knows I will kick him in the balls. I warned him several times. I kicked him and he went down. I will never leave my house that I worked so hard for. He can leave.
Don't look now but I think we have a narc in the house!
@Jys that sounds like bullying and isolating, especially with that "we". Pretty healthy, indeed!
@@itsawowman_ bullying? Oh so you the victim cuz I called you out. Hm. Ok. I think you proving my point narc
I often overheard my narcissistic brother on the phone, but I never said anything because I still didn't realize what a narcissist he was, so I played along. When I finally figured out his game and he turned on me, I started exposing some of the lies that he told to people, things that he never wanted anyone to know about. He soon stopped fighting with me out of fear that I would expose more of his BS that he didn't want anyone to know about. My life has improved enormously.
Out of five siblings, I’m the only one who doesn’t entertain my narc brother’s 💩. And I’m the only one he and his wife defriended on social media. Good riddance!
Now this is the best way to get them to leave you the heck alone. Worked for me like a charm
@@larrycarl -lucky you-
I was the "truth teller" meaning, I didn't go along with the lies to get money or to avoid being ostracized by my mother. I am sorry for her. I did want her love but I needed to realize that people can never fill the hole in your heart, God can though and this is what saved me. learn to nurture and mother yourself so that you attract a better situation to yourself. look at life as a mirror of something you need to give yourself. if people reject you, look at where you might be rejecting yourself or devaluing yourself. they can't do it to us without our having done it to ourselves first. forgive yourself and learn the lesson, God is all there is, really. if we attracted broken, dysfunctional mirrors to ourselves, see how this shows us our "shadow" or hidden thoughts about what we believe we are worth. It is not holy to suffer, God does not want this. we do not have to "earn" God's love, we just have to surrender to it. God bless you.
Exactly! Exposure is their kryptonite! No contact is our defensive moat.
My dad is doing both, showing how Genius he is and at the same time how no one suffered more than he had
1.reduce their significance
2.challenge their false self
3.Go to therapy
4.Mess with their supply
Thanks,my narc ex came back everytime only to further mentally destroy me!
@@Angel-pv8lg Block them completely and repeatedly if necessary.
1. Go no contact.
2. Go to therapy.
The other two are bad advice.
@@xrotarebil yes blocked him already,he is a player for him screwing girls is nothing,for someone like me who is loyal and genuine it feels very bad and depressing to have associated with like dat in past!
The DENNIS system.
Bear in mind that psychopaths and sociopaths also contain narcissistic attributes. Safer to cut off communications with the psychopaths and sociopaths than challenge them.
Yup
Absolutely. This video is off. While containing a lot of truths .. who’d want to make someone suffer purposefully and torture them .. beside a narcissist.
All psychopaths/sociopaths are narcissists, but not all narcissists are psychopaths/sociopaths.
@@marsaeilletrue
@@marsaeilleagree it is very unhelpful
They can smell kindness :( my heart hurts. I’ve learnt not to expect anything from others now. A lot of people only seem to think about themselves. Protect your energy guys. Don’t lower to their level and take from it knowledge and strength. X
You're right!
I am on a journey of 1.setting clear boundaries, 2.self love and 3.working on things that attract me towards me. It is all to do with mind. The first two are also in them. As empaths we have toxic traits that harm us. One needs to understand if doing good will bring joy into life or we are simply doing it because we are told to do this. Example: identify the things you LOVE to do and Identify the things you are "suppose" to do. The things you are suppose to do are usually draining us so we must bring joy in them and do them FOR OURSELVES WHEN WE WANT TO. Similarly we believe "what will others think of us" when the timw comes to leaving and they too think the same but in the initial stages. So this is WHY we become the perfect piece of the puzzle :)
I only agree with the 1st point. Reduce their significance in your life.... Then don't play/challenge them.. just walk away
Stay safe, but close the door hard on these people and don’t be afraid to tell anyone and everyone about it. They get away with their nonsense because no one typically says no to them.
Just run, and never look back! That's all you have to do! Blessings!
& you never want be around such persons ever again.
I do agree with you, but only if you can get away. I was married to one for 18 years and every time I tried to leave, or kick him out, he would cunningly manipulate the situation so that we stayed together. I am finally out, and living my best life.
Its very sad that people you love turn out to be indifferent towards you, what a horrible world we live in.😞
Ye I also realised this when i was 15. My narcissistic father who always beat my mother and torture my mother by brainwashing from night 11 pm till next morning 4 am talking all shits about his superioty and blaming her as the cause of her unsuccessful own life .He also gaslight me and my brother all the time. We can't able to focus on studies. Now as I'm writing this today itself npd father was on his rage.we suffer this every minute as we can't assume when will they get to these.
Unfortunately it's reality
In some cases, they can be taught to revile you, especially if they're involved with a narcissist or two.
I noticed my mom was a nar when I was 12. It hurt until I was 15 and decided I had no hope in her being a mom and got on with my life. Now she's homeless and living at my house because I can't picture her homeless 😂😂 she wouldn't survive it
I am in a relationship with one who treats me awfully despite me giving my world to, sad we have people who we love and care for treat us the worst way
Leave them, forget them,love you , remember you ❤
Being with my ex narc for the past 8 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I hired a private detective Metaspyhub@gmail. com. Once I knew what the narc was up to, it got easier to get over that lying, cheating, sack of doo doo, loser. I didn’t need closure from the narc, I paid for it. Best money I EVER spent!
I was reading your comment and i literally saw a mirror of myself... My -until two days ago- boyfriend kept telling me that his married ex girlfriend loves him more than i do and that she would do anything for him, but he doesn't want her...two days ago she went to his restaurant with another dude , he had locked the door and when i showed up , dead-tired, just to see him and listen to him all night talk to me like i am good for nothing, he told me that he won't open for me, because i slammed the door at him the previous morning, like THAT'S unacceptable!!😂 We ended up fighting really rough and he said i'm toxic and he doesn't want women like me in his life....
They are barely human!
Barely human is the nice word. They will try to upset and destroy you on purpose and walk around like they did nothing
@@youareloved8274 all the time and every time. We all have to remember this about narcissists. Especially the covert ones. They are always and forever trying to emotionally manipulate us and get us to feel sorry for them.
The covert ones are also especially notorious for this.
I did these steps (except threatening to expose them) not because I hated him and wanted revenge. I did them because I finally was able to love myself more than the narc. It took 40 years for me to get it. Once it all clicked the Lord leading me, I had the courage to leave. It's been over a year. I'm still being healed by God. I have recently been diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer and have more than enough on plate. I am now happy and free even with the challenges I face. Happy New year!
Hi, I know we’re strangers, but I want to reach out because your life experience touched me. I’m sorry you’re suffering. You’re not alone. I hope you have family who are not toxic too. I wish you well. Keep fighting! Have a happy Christmas, even if you’re experiencing joy at the most simplest of pleasures, like the sunrise. There are gifts everywhere for us to discover. I know illness steals so much, & it makes your world smaller. Do not let the seemingly insignificant pleasures & joys pass you by; embrace each one! 🎄✨♥️
Best to you in your healing on all levels, you deserve it!!! ❤️🙏💞
Jys I will keep you in my prayers. Im happy you had the strength to let go of the narc and lean on Him to give you more strength.
@@BelleOfAmherst thank you so much for the words of encouragement. Merry Christmas 🎄
@@lulumoon6942 thank you
I used your advice. And let me say it absolutely works.
My narcissistic ex tried to bring me down. But this time I stayed absolutely calm and responded in the same cold and "I don’t give a F” way.
I just said. Sorry to hear you feel that way, but you are entitled to your own opinion. But regardless that won’t change me from having a wonderful day. Bye.
Let me tell you. She went absolutely mad and called me all sorts of nasty stuff. I just waited and after some time I replied.
Hope you are done, and again that’s your opinion and have a nice day...
Then she began to respond with victim card oh and how I could be so cruel and she needed us to talk etc etc.
I haven’t responded. I’m actually just laughing now instead letting everything get to me.
So again thank you for the help. I have subscribed.
Much love and respect from Denmark. You just saved my sanity and life.
Cheers! 🇩🇰
Well done
So happy 4 u. Keep going. U got this! 👍
They have lots of tricks up their sleeve, mine tried victim, then humour, then threats, anything and everything to see what would stick. I went total NO CONTACT 5 years later he is still trying to get my phone number???? You are right it does work, but only if we work it.
Thank you for your information.
Avoid engagement, don’t respond, just walk away and remind yourself that they can never be cured and you must preserve your own sanity.
I've learned the best weapon against a narcissist is indifference, totally confuses them, and it's what you eventually truely feel anyway once you know exactly who and what they are. Having the knowledge and self confidence to torture them with mockery if they come at you is just a bonus.
E una din cele mai bune metode. Așa e, cu timpul vine natural.
The gray rock method.
@Frederick I'm not looking for advice thanks, that's an absurd statement, I can make a judgement call when there's a risk of physical danger but I'm not fear led. I know you mean well though
I wouldn't encourage anyone to play that silly game. Count your loses and leave. A narcissistic is a soulless being on a mission to destroy you. To waste time trying to play their manipulative games would cause you to lose yourself and even snap. I'd encourage people to cut them off cold turkey. Leave and cut all line of contact. That is how you win. CHOOSE YOURSELF and leave
The very first point he brings up on needing to be safe because of their rage just shows how EVIL the entity is you're dealing with
True
It’s interesting challenging the idealized self of a vulnerable narcissist. It makes you feel like you’re being cruel but you know how cruel they were to others.
Or to you.
I'm sure you didn't self diagnose him
You cannot be cruel to a creature void of empathy. It's like feeling sorry for hurting a piece of metal by kicking it.
That's what people do when they are not acknowledged or recognised either in childhood or by themselves.
@ClaudKaKeiYeung check you for empathy.
There is no doubt their spiteful, resentful behavior will be fueled. Thank you for acknowledging the need to respect your safety. I've done these and wow does their rage kick in and their boldness (like coming over without permission) increases. It's a dangerous "game" but it's important to self preservation b/c it's getting you back.
I’ve noticed how much social media has promoted narcissism. It’s frustrating to see how many people keep giving narcissists attention and keep feeding them.
So that people can learn how to deal with them (ie not deal with them). The damage they do is profound.
Social media and social networks reward narcissistic behavior and help feed narcissism - especially the networks where "performance", shallowness, perversion and superficial "peacock" behavior are placed on a premium - Instagram, TikTok for example - social media companies earn their ad revenues through thousands of narcissists who "peacock" (These narcissists also bait millions to click, like, engage with them and use them for personal supply and professional gain)
But real life is different from virtual life - that's where these "peacock" narcissists hoard victims for abuse - away from social media.
The need for videos (like the one we are commenting on) is a way for survivors of narcissistic abuse in real life to be able to identify their personal challenges and find support and help in the company of others like them. This is the only positive outcome about social media and being online.
Narcissists thrive by isolating their victims and breaking their will but when the victim becomes a survivor, the survivor still has to learn to re-integrate themselves back into society, find new friends, find support groups, get closure, heal and move on. Counseling, therapy and support groups, forums and empathetic online friends can help accelerate the healing process.
That’s not the purpose. They aren’t watching these videos. They think they know everything already.
@@TallGreenVegetables
She or he was referring to the vapid influencers on social media. Not this helpful information. :)
Do you honestly think a narcissist will sit down and watch this? They don't have time for such
#1 is huge. HUGE. They will know if you’re acting and they will use this to further abuse you. You can’t be wishy-washy with it either. You cannot even give them an inkling that they are significant at all, or it won’t work. That’s why it must be authentic. I got so good at this that I had the narcissist tell me that I lacked empathy. I said “Well…maybe I do.” He said that I was cold and I just shrugged. My past interactions with that person would have been to defend myself to the ends of the Earth and provide evidence to the contrary. But….I truly don’t gaf if he thinks that now. I prefer that he does think that actually, so he’ll leave me alone. You need to get to the point of having nothing to offer them by way of emotion; good, bad or ugly. Save your emotions for yourself and the people you do care about.
Why even talk to this person then? I don't get it. You want him to leave you alone, yet you're talking to him. Seems counter-intuitive and perhaps a little covert-narcissistic.
@@sheogorathprinceofmadness2223 I’m not understanding if you’re just trying to overuse the word narcissist, but we have a child together. Unfortunately there are situations where I have to speak to him.
Anen
Distancing yourself from them is also by filling the cup with worthless information and then leaving.
@@sheogorathprinceofmadness2223
This response makes no sense... you really can't get rid of a narcissist in a few seconds and just ignore them.
Master your emotions & create as much distance & total silence forever is the perfect revenge!
I promise myself that I will never call them and deal with them for the rest of my life. Thank you so much. Now I’m starting a new life and so happy moving forward.
Mocking them or laughing at them when they're attempting to get under your skin or push you to a breaking point is a sure way to push them to a breaking point where they become flustered and frustrated as hell... their attempts at belittling you and devaluing you are met with laughter smiles... Or flat-out mocking them while you do so,...
So true. I had a narcissist who flew into a fit of rage and swung her purse at me because after she called me a "fat bastard" I made a pretty tepid remark about her teeth. She ended up revealing during the ensuing frenzy that she got called "Bucky" many years ago. Sometimes a thing or two can be learned via a mockery of some people.
I have remained friendly and polite but stopped providing information that they can use against me and have only communicated online for months not face to face. It all helps me protect myself.
Living well is the best revenge.
There are times when you cannot walk away, there are times when it is your son or daughter, your boss, your mother or father, the mother of your children... it is really simple, comparably speaking, when there are no kids involved; when there are kids involved, it is the worse case scenario, in my opinion.
Step 1. Learning about personality types and how they interact, specifically your own and those you interact with.
Step 2. Learning narcissism, narcissistic abuse, being aware of it.
Step 3. Planning a set of moves that are aimed at increasing assertiveness, like talking to a lawyer, a psychologist, watching these videos.
This video is great, thank you! And it does not have to be done aggressively. A narcissist behaves like an octopus. Their entire attack is based on their stealth, trying to protect their 100% lack of accountability as best they can. There are malignant narcissists, and there are narcissists who simply are wired that way, can cause harm, but they truly do not like it and have a life-long struggle with it. It is a good struggle and it shows they have a heart; however, they cannot pull away from their narcissism when extremely vulnerable in some way, and eventually they will act out their type.
Once you learn about all this, it is like discovering the Matrix. When a narcissist confronts you head on, you can easily tell and deflect them, briefly attack them to break down their attack, and like an octopus they will run away, shaping and morphing into different colors and stuff to disappear and re-strategize. They will do this over and over, sweep everything under the carpet superficially, a brand new them to the world, but later when triggered all that shit comes back out, the same old octopus after all.
When we cannot walk away, there are ways to satisfy their narcissistic supply, without them demanding it... sort of like giving them a controlled dose, letting them win some fights, choosing your battles, not always having to beat them down; after all, it is psychological and they cannot help it but to think the way that they think, as well as us thinking the way we think. In my perspective, this is the push and the pull that makes the world go round. There are to main types of people in this world, those who care, and those who don't care. Those who care are empaths, mainly, and those who don't care are narcissists, and the energy created between them is what makes it all so interesting. Empaths have to help, hate to be helped; narcissists hate helping people, and they are such victims that need to be helped. From the core, this spawns countless emotions and energy that creates all sorts of behaviors, scenarios, products and services.
Not knowing about personality types, about narcissists and empaths, about how we are wired and function with each other, is like operating the most complex machine in the world, without training nor reading the instructions. What does this lead to? Any scenario is absolutely possible as a result... any.
Wouldn't dream of it!
I find saying 'NO' to their unreasonable requests works well enough.
True, but in their minds, the requests are reasonable and you are the one being unreasonable. Torturing people isn't the solution. Narcissists and slight autists (old aspergers) are being unfairly treated due to this internet wave mess that mixes things up and mistake them for psychopaths (ASPD) or pyschopathic narcissists (NPD + ASPD) who are intentionally evil.
The problem is in 4 hours you could cover psychopaths two times over in an informative video. Some of these hosts have 200 30min clips on narcissism and by the time you’d watched all what was said to do at the beginning has been contradicted 20 times by the latest.
The old who’s got “ the newest” fad.
It’s kind of scary victims guessing what the narcissist did to them.
I’ll let you in on a little secret. The hosts are not out of it yet or are they heal. They haven’t started new lives . They have started a RUclips channel. They aren’t in new relationships, traveling, partaking in hobbies. Nope they talk about narcissism everyday. Probably 4 times as much as they ever have, they haven’t left narcissism. Live and breathe it daily. Making a 20min daily video with the “flash new method “ that they haven’t used nor are they role models for how to start a new life with out narcissism. Why do you think they are addicted to releasing new content? Becuase when they don’t and they stop they have to face the battles they still have not overcome.
The best 1 is no contact till I die. Case closed. Going on 6yrs in 2023
@nightowl, You bet 👍 no contact forever and ever
It depends on if you are the primary target or not . Of course saying no to something minor ( to them) may seem to be the end of it but you have no idea if they are keeping tabs, contemplating another demand or doing something passive aggressively to seriously undermine you. This video is not really about just anyone with some narc tendencies but a narcicisst who depends on seeing you in misery to live - a higher end of the spectrum narcicisst.
Another good scenario to mess with them is when they start projecting their toxic traits onto you and the things they don’t like about themselves quickly agree with them and walk away. For example, if they say they can’t stand toxic people, say I agree then say goodbye and walk away.
Haha. Sounds good but I'm thinking it will trigger them. Anyways almost anything will trigger them.. Sigh
@@veerakowlessar1353 so what. You gotta not care no more about their reactions. Reduce how much you care about them Getting angry. It feels awesome
@@moniqueaugustine8914 this is so true. My ex pulled all different tactics to get an emotional reaction from me once I started seeing who she really was. I started to move on and heal on my own, ignored her games while being physically away. She had the audacity to say that she had no idea why I was acting this cold and distant, I mean come on... she didn't do anything wrong! 🤡
After I announced the breakup (not my first try) I had to wait for more than a month to get my stuff back! Once she realised I am not bowing anymore she gave up. She never apologised. She never said "hey I know I messed up, I'm so sorry, please can we talk". No. She wanted ME to pursue her and work things out. Haha. What a poor soul.
😂😂 I've done this ... Recently...they will slam a few doors( same doors you barely hear open & close ), the same aluminum cans you never hear being set down will become the loudest thing you ever heard😅😅 and the sound of one being opened goes from almost silent to being popped open with such a force you would swear they were trying out for a Coca-Cola commercial, last but not lease they will all of a sudden start looking for something in those dresser draws that are opened and slammed 100+ times. OH! Almost forgot, when they know it's time that you usually go to bed, all the above mentioned continues with more aggressiveness then you could imagine along with pots & pans being hit together and an uneven load of clothes in the washing machine. 😅😅😅 That person stays out of my way now and as a roommate, I haven't seen the person but maybe 3/4 times in the last month.
@@veerakowlessar1353 it will trigger them for sure weather it’s a big or small issue. Now depending on the person maybe it’s wise not to trigger them, but in my case their games ran out and can not play in their fantasy world for my own sake and mental well-being. It wasn’t over night on how to deal with it, it took time.
1- be happy. 2- be strong. 3- mock and laugh at them when they are evil. 4- make sure they KNOW you hate them for being evil. The end. Have a nice day.
Narcissists aren’t evil u dum dum.
😂😂😂 the best advice.. they will die inside
🤣🤣💯
Nr. 3, 4 They are eager for attention wheater it is good (laugh inside being evil is what they do !) or bad (hate). The best to do and feel is indifference and have a good life.
🤣🤣🤣
❤Best short lecture on the net! Das Boot! Disappear,ghost them, go to counseling for yourself to heal!
1. Know what triggers you.
2. Learn 📕 to let it go.
3. Gradually stop ✋ talking about them.
4. Stop 🚫 thinking about them.
5. Avoid them at any cost 💵.
6. Be aware of what you don't want.
7. Know why you want to be happy 😊.
8. Start living a life that makes you happy.
Excellent Advice, and just what I’m doing !
I like this. Especially #5 (this includes visual aid). Robert Greene has no clout here.
Yes get off the emotional roller coaster that leaves you exhausted all the time and easier to manipulate look at all their ask yourself did that really happen is that real
What if they turn your whole community against you and probably the whole world!, that's what it feels like because everyone is joining his game like if they were puppets and I the lab rat.
it's just a nightmare how now, he gets to wash his hands clean and let others kill me while he sits back and enjoys the show. Thank God for his protection or I would of turned crazy and probably shot the whole place up but I read what they did to Jesus and I learned from him.
He taught me how to love my enemy and pray for them, how to be brave , how to be patient, how to be loyal and stick to my word and how to be compassionate just like my father is compassionate. God let's the sun hit everyone just as the same amount as he does to those that follow him.
I need to know what I can do so people will stop living in that illusion or has the narcissist damaged my reputation forever?
@@ivannieves154 when I cut all ties from The narcissist I also cut all ties to their family and friends it's just a toxic environment sometimes you just have to move on start over and do you really think this person is turned the entire town against you or is that with the narcissist wants you to believe
Absolutely nailed it! Walk away and NEVER go back, no contact- The End period 👍🏼
Just walk away and stay safe 🙏 ✨️❤️Don't start to play games - keep yourself safe - break free and enjoy the rest of your life in peace ✨️🙏❤️
When you’re stuck living with the narcissist(s) and they won’t stop coming against you, this information is invaluable. Thank you.
Knowing someone is a narcissist and feeding off of you and everyone else you know/is a total phony or false projection, and knowing that most people DON'T know this person to be the truly abusive and helpless, vulnerable manipulative liar they truly are can be maddening. When they show up to a mutual friend's birthday for instance, and give YOU a gift after you cut off contact, its them showing off their power and not a gesture of wanting to mend the relationship. Trying to warn your other friends about this person makes you feel crazy when they don't believe you, because they've been brainwashed and deceived by them and will think you're lying.
I can relate! I liked seeing the coined term "a nicehole", I know a few of them
This is amazing , my ex-husband was abusive in every way.
I treated him this way after i finally got away.
To take the power away from him felt better than I'd felt in a long time.
Love to all you survivers out there xx
# 2 can be very dangerous to try . They are smart and will pick up on that and torture you for that . I had this with a boss . I didn’t dare try it. She reduced everyone to tears and then had a mocking smiling when she got that response .# 3. I actually did and she resented it totally and came back at me .
I can literally. Feel myself healing from watching these thank you
"Their response will be disproportionate" 😆 ... The man has warned you!
It's hell on Earth when you've a child with one. Another 11 years of schooling where every single parenting detail is fuel for abuse. My beautiful boy is being used as a weapon. It's been horrendously difficult to navigate through. But I'm gradually learning & gradually healing.
Love & appreciate your sharing's bro. Thanks alot.
Hang on, it is rough.
The real hell on earth is experienced by the child. Because he or she chose none of this. Please don’t forget to apologize to your child someday in the future when they become mature enough to comprehend it all. Please don’t take this advice the wrong way. I realize it was an honest mistake on your part. But as a child of a narcissist father, trust me when I tell you: Your apology will go a LONG way. Make sure the timing is right. Preferably when your child is near adulthood but still very young.
@@finster1968 Cheers. I had a f*****g s**t childhood up to 17. Now I see I've created a gentle replica & similar patterns for my boys to grow up in. As I craved having a family so badly I've been a walking wounded target & connected with the wrong women. I completely love being a father though & my son's are the best part of my life. I adore them. Learning to navigate a minefield of constant narcissistic parenting doom is unbelievably painful torture though. Yes I experienced this as a child to. Thanks for chatting out your view.
@@taricklloyd5904 - Thanks for the reply. Same story here. But I took a very different path and decided not to have any children. So you’re probably a better man than I am. This wasn’t meant to question your judgement or your dedication as a parent. But it sounds like you already know that. Take good care of those boys and they’ll be loyal to the end. Best of luck to you.
@Finster it isn't our fault we fall for narcasist abusers
The last lesson in studying martial arts, is doing everything you can to avoid using it. That doesn't mean the skill is irrelevant. Thank you for giving us some moves to feel confident with.
Thank you. What you said about acceptance is true. Walking away from people unable to love you is vital. Let the healing begin.
Currently have a family member who I believe to be a covert/vulnerable narcissist. Honestly the best thing I found was once they're cut off and in no contact you simply just wash them clean out of your life, no point trying to stoop to their tactics or anything. They're the types to hold onto grudges for as long as they need to and usually they do so in order to justify their wrongdoings against you and as was said in the helpful video they will have a disproportionate reaction to your actions. As someone who loathes drama and conflict I don't have any time for that.
Eventually they just blow themselves up, metaphorically. But I wouldn't be surprised if it happens literally.
So if you believe someone has npd, it's appropriate to just go with that belief without actually knowing for sure and treat them a certain way thinking you are getting back at them.. even though you don't actually know if they have npd. You just feel like that person does and the actions affecting that person are justified.. you sure you aren't narcissistic?
If possible, you should gather evidence and present it to their peers. But only if the evidence is strong enough to make a very strong case. Otherwise, it'd just be gossip, which is ordinarily a pretty narcissistic behaviour.
The last thing I said to my mother was: Why don't you just pretend like I'm dead? I haven't spoken to the narcissistic nightmare for over 8 years now and I feel better than ever.
You're my f*cking hero! This xmas makes 1 year for me. (and 3000 miles)
Good on ya. I didn’t speak to mine for over ten years and refused to say goodbye before she passed away. She spent her entire life trying to pass her generational curse onto my head and I wouldn’t allow her to do it. Meanwhile, she treated my younger sibling like a prince and he was so spoiled that he is out of touch with reality.
This life is hard enough without people who supposedly “love” us mucking it all up.
@@Job.Well.Done_01 I'm in the same boat. Same doomed delusional sibling treated like a prince. There is something comforting in knowing that we aren't alone in these situations. Wish you the best.
@@conservingcommonsense4980 thank you so much. I am always on the path of healing and self-love.
I wish to you all the very best!
@@jbird1012 Congratulations, and Merriest of Xmases!
These videos are great because Empaths seldom get news or updates after they've gone No Contact and this information shows and tells just how bad these Narcissists were fried in their own hogfat...
You have just switched a light on in me. What a revelation. Will be watching this over and over. Thank you. Xxx💙
No contact and ignoring them def works.
Gain that confidence and don’t let the narcs word hurt you.