Narcissists are VERY good at getting what they want. Walking away doesn't always work. It's so easy to manipulate people. It's all a game. People are pawns. Everyone serves a purpose in life. Otherwise, why have them around you? Seriously. I know they do in my life anyway. You have NO idea the lengths they would go to to have someone in their pocket or get the desired attention. Trust me. I've done some MAJOR stuff to get attention. We're not bad people though. Everybody acts like we are.
The key here is to be safe. Mine tried to snap my neck when he thought I smiled when he was in a rage. Ok maybe I did but in my defense, his rages were becoming ridiculous to me. And back in the early 80's, we didn't know about the different personality disorders so to me he was just a grown man acting like a toddler when they don't get their way.
If my ever touches me he knows I will kick him in the balls. I warned him several times. I kicked him and he went down. I will never leave my house that I worked so hard for. He can leave.
Wow, ive never heard someone admit they were a narcasist. But as the saying goes, the first step to recovery, is admitting you have a problem. Best of luck to you, truly.
I broke up with a narcissist after a shitty five month relationship, by telling him on New Year’s Day that he was dismissed and that his services were no longer needed. When he demanded an explanation, I calmly told him there were better candidates out there. Yup, that was one pissed off narcissist, but he made no further attempt to stay in touch.
Just do Castle Greystone on them until they fuch off. I think freeze-types do this best because they're hardwired to draw a blank when they're provoked. I often find myself embarrassingly lost for words when I feel something wrong with someone. Then when that person disappears, I think about why I was so tense and abrupt, and I realise that my body, or my unconscious, was protecting me from some sympathy-grubbing silly fucher. This happens occasionally, and now I'm very conscious of who is acting like a silly barsterd. Once you know the signs and how to respond, it's like join the dots: bing bing bing, fuch off fuch off. It just becomes second nature. Smile, give short, non-committal, one word, one sentence responses. You can see them _trying_ to find a way in, you can see their little robot brains working away and getting nowhere. It's very sad and very boring.
100% accurate Sir. I'm starting to recognise the physical reaction I get from being in the company of Narcs. Met one at the gym recently, everyone else found him funny and entertaining but I picked up on his Narc responses pretty quickly and noticed the feeling of being strangled in my throat. I backed off and he has gone on to Narc another lady. Unfortunately we can't warn folks off, unless they're experienced it and healed, they just don't get it.
The best course of action is to walk away forever. Don’t play the same mind games. Get yourself out of there and put yourself around people who love you. If you find yourself temporarily stuck, then use the grey rock method, which by itself is torture to an abuser without being designed for torture. It’s self defense that keeps your integrity and dignity intact.
I’m be ng bullied by a female narc living downstairs, she’s empowered by her little gang who live there and visit their. I’ve got police and housing involved but no real result yet, they’ve been making dog barking noises Everytime I walk in/out of our block after her junkie friend called me a dog. (I stood up to him when he stole from me and all hell has broken loose ever since. I need to catch the barks on video because it’s hard to get help without it. I’m in a bad way 3 months into their harassment, I live alone and there’s 4-8 of them in her flat every day. We share a block door and path way so it’s impossible to avoid them and there’s always one of them at the window smoking, day and night. It’s really coming on top for me mentally. I’m strong but It’s consuming me. My brothers haven’t dropped by to help so that’s another layer of grief right there. To be fair though they have young kids and don’t live nearby and nobody needs this shit. I do feel let down though. I’m crawling through life with a brave face on it truth be known. I’m 54 and this is all Too much for me. Ima listen to his now, I just had to let this out. I feel embarrassed admitting that I’m not strong enough to make it stop too. I haven’t even listened to this yet, best put it on now. Thx for being here richard & people.
True torture to a narcissist is you don't even wanna torture them. You don't care. Whatever happens to them you're indifferent. You focus on yourself, not them.
I agree with this comment. I found myself thinking, as I watched this video, that doing this correctly would involve giving them even MORE of your time, attention, and energy, just so you could "get back," which feels like still being hooked. And it's not very adult. I just want to sidestep their games. What they do with that is their business, not mine. I just want to stop repeating this pattern in my other relationships. That's the hard part.
Best advise 👌 Working on yourself make them less significant starve them of the attention they crave untill they are missing that "va va voom" For a burger 🍔 When you had a steak 😋
Gets really muddy when there’s children involved. You have to confront them. It’s sick. Someone uses their children for control. I’m living it right now.
No, no no. See the vid what do narcissists do when alone? If they're ignored the challenge is accepted. They plot, scheme, backstab, form alliances, control all the people they know you know. You ignoring them is just another way get back at you. You don't get off that easily.
@@auntihooha no kidding. living with and waking up to that kind of stress every day is a killer. whatever she may bring to the table, it's not worth the price of living in fear of a monster.
the animal cruelty hypocrisy one is interesting, my sister has been displaying more narcissistic traits since being with her boyfriend (who seems very narcissistic), and she is very hypocritical about animal welfare. she keeps rats, which actually started with one i was intending to feed to my snake. while i always prefer feeding humanely euthanized frozen-thawed rodents this one wasnt eating and I wanted to try offering it a live one to stop its hunger strike. when i got it at home the snake wasnt interested and since it was a juvenile and was already on the large side for that snake it would have been too large by the time I was ready to offer another meal. so I offered it to her to keep as a pet, and she since has gotten two more. im also somewhat allergic to rats, i wear a mask on feedign day to avoid too much exposure, but she keeps hers in my dads office which I have to pass through on the way to do my laundry. i keep all my snakes in my room, even though its inconvenient, so there is quite a bit of entitlement demonstrated already by keeping her personal pets in a shared space. even though i no longer feed any live rodents and all six of my snakes happily take frozen-thawed rats or mice off of tongs she still acts as if im some unfeeling monster that im not bothered by preparing dead animals to feed my pets. the drawback of feeding this way is you do have to sometimes waste the rats if the snakes dont want them, but again they were all euthanized humanely so its not a big deal. she acts as if its such a tragedy that a rat captively bred for the express purpose of becoming food was 'wasted'. not really a waste anyways because its necessary to give the snake regular opportunities to eat whether it actually does or not. this empathy is either just an act or a form of emotional dysregulation akin to that of a borderline, not true or healthy empathy. her true lack of empathy towards animals (and humans) is evident when it comes to the family dogs. ive always walked and fed them but ive recently been suffering from severe asthma attacks almost every day. so keeping up with the walking has been difficult. ive asked if she could step up for a while and take over some of the walking duties and she hasnt done it once. my empathy for the dogs who have come to expect the enrichment of daily walks always gets the best of me and i force myself to take them out and it takes me an hour or two just to recover from a 20 minute walk around the block. a real test of empathy is whether or not you are willing to inconvenience yourself to act on it, as they say , talk is cheap, and its easy to express empathy verbally but also relatively meaningless if not matched by action. and to be clear my sister has all the time in the world right now as she's on school holidays, its not that she's too busy to help out.
Mine has so much power over me still because more than 1/3 of my life's savings (I'm disabled with no income) and everything I own are all still under his control. Is he cooperating? No. He's Hoovering me like a staulker... I can't Wait to get my own values back in the driver's seat of my life. Congratulations for having apparently done it. Good for you!
They absolutely HATE to be ignored. When they can’t engage with you to get a reaction from you they lose it. They can’t stand not to be in control of their target’s emotions. 😎
True and sometimes they will come again and again. How many people out there that we think are simply narcissists? Many of these people are more than just narcissists, they’re psychopaths, sociopaths, and Machiavellians. Some of these people may also have serious mood disorders or personality disorders too. I think this kind of thing is either more common these days, or just more in your face as American society grew more liberal, or, that maybe given the greater connectivity people have these days with the internet, social media, smartphones, etc. We make more connections with more people than ever before. Either way, narcissism is such a disturbing phenomenon.
@@jasonwimberly5636 They are also Very Subtly MALEVOLENT ! Mentally , Physically and Verbally and Use what i call METACOMMUNICATION to administer their Abuse ie Pulling faces to signal their Disingenuous Disgust hence suggesting they are superior and also twisting the Victims mind to have them Think ( What's the matter with me etc) - until eventually the victim realises the Narcs Metacommunication is Projected at them upon which Shock sets in and more confusion for the Victim.
If you absolutely have to “deal” with a narc, I would recommend to keep firm bounderies, and keep your distance at the same time. As a second choose on how to deal with the narcissist I would recommend keeping firm boundaries and also to correct them every time they missteps, lie, manipulates etz. When your boundaries are not respected by the narcissist, you need to follow through with consequenses of bad behaviour. You will have your hands full going forward this way. When following through with consequenses to their “re”actions, you explain to the narc, that you are not one of the narc`s victims. You have no intentions of becoming one but will be a nuisance to the narcissist in a way that is irritating to him/her. This method is not risk free but narcissists will often choose the path of no or low resistance. This method is a time consuming path to chose. This route sometimes require more time than you would like to spend on these issues. You feel that distancing yourself all together would have been easier. That is however not always possible. Often there is no way to avoid him/her. You unfortunately have to deal with the narcissist because you are colleagues or close family. You must think through what you need the narcissist to respect and what arias of conflict you must pay extra attention to, to keep your integrity and to detect manipulative behavior. Be prepared and clear in your communication and stick to your guns. Try to stay under the radar as much as you can, even when this method is the best for you. A way that works as well is to play along with the narcissist and act like you agree with everything they do and say. This method works well until many people in the narcissists sphere do the same. When everyone agrees with the narcissist you are back on square one. The narcissist must have victims and this setting is no different. To go NO Contact is another good alternative and method, and is probably the best option when it is possible to cut all contact permanently. Additionally, If you need to find out about a cheating narc; send a request to: Metaspyhub@gmail. com
It was crucial for me not to get too emotional regarding his abusive childhood because the compassion, my love would lead to my experiencing his abuse over and over again because he would behave sadistically and I"m "oh but, (picturing him as a young innocent abused child, because I genuinely loved the man) THAT almost did me in time and time again
Not just silence.. STOP doing any and everything that you have been doing for them previously. EVERYTHING!! that’s how I was able to rid myself of this one..give nothing!! No conversation No sex No cooking No cleaning Not even a glance.. the demon flee within couple weeks. Resist the ------ and it will _________??
yeah, I noticed they really enjoy it when they make you break the silence, it is like they are thinking *oh I finally can manipulate her again* and then lead you from a mere argument to complete madness... in the end, they are chilling and smiling talking in a calm voice while you are the *mad crazy scary one*
@@gooddoctor9542They get supply when they see that you contact them first. It feeds their ego. They need you to need them. Stay faaaaar away from these reptilian demons. Stay no contact for life and live happily ever after without them✨💖
@@christianstill.6654It doesn’t always work that way. If you choose to stay with the narcissist and they give you the silent treatment, sometimes you just have to ignore them.
The only way to take control from a narcissist is to get yourself from their domain first. You wont be able to figure out anything until and unless you are out of the hellish world. I will tell you one of my favourite stories. Once a King was too disturbed by everything that was happening around him. He felt as if no one was loyal to him and he was always afraid of his kingdom being attacked by perpetrators. He lost his sleep and his life had become hell. So he thought of taking a brief sojourn in the countryside. He passed through lush green fields and picturesque landscapes. The silent breeze that brushed through his hair filled his heart with joy. That is when he saw a farmer who was putting fence around his farmland. But his farmland had weeds all over and they hardly had any crops. This intrigued the King. He asked the farmer as to why was he putting a fence around the farm when the farm itself was covered with weeds. To this the farmer said that the farm was his own so he could get rid of the weeds whenever he liked. But he cant stop the stray dogs from running over his fields and destroying them. That is why he was putting the fence. To stop the stray dogs from venturing into the field. Once he was very assured about the security of his fields he can work on clearing the weeds and planting crops. On hearing this the King somewhat got the answer which he had been searching for. The human mind is also like the field. You cant control assholes from fiddling with your mind or saying bullshit. But you can definitely put a fence ( figuratively) so that these assholes cant influence you. And until and unless you dont put a fence you can never work on yourself. Once you have distanced yourself from toxic people then you can work on the healing process. Same is the case with narcs. Narcs are these stray dogs who suck your energy emotionally. They play mind games for fun because their mind wants melodrama. They hurt the very people who love them. So total isolation from these narcs is absolutely essential for the well being of your Mind. Once you are out of their mind games you can take decisions rationally. Narcs try to drain you emotionally. So everytime you respond to their low vibrations you tend to come to their level. But when you react confidently without panicking and without responding to their negative vibrations that is when you Win. When someone realises that you arent being influenced or being manipulated by their actions they will get tired of it. And after cutting them off completely from your lives you should work on your healing process. Work on clearing your mental clutter and keep yourself preoccupied. Read books and most importantly try to find your Purpose in life. When you find your Purpose you will be able to bear any pain in this World. Most importantly help others in need. When you find someone else who is stuck with a narc help them to get out of that. I feel this is the way to take control from a narcissist. P.S: I hardly find people around me who know about emotional abuse. But I think everyone should read and know about it. In today’s mean world you will find a lot of people who try to influence you or demoralise you using the sweetest of words. Its about identifying these covert manipulators and distancing yourself from them. I have immense respect for people who have survived narcissistic partners. They happen to be the most strongheaded and emotionally stable people you can come across. I learn a lot of things from them. Truly the broken will always be the most beautiful. Moreover, People wonder why they end up hurt, seriously hurt, and even killed for their own actions. Cheating is a choice and there’s simply a lot of ignorance in the process.... Thank you so much for helping me out Barryinvestigation@gmail. com. Your advice and services helped me so much. You are a lifesaver !!! The information you gave me about my cheating partner when you gave me access to his phone was everything I needed to get,.. thank you very much..
For those of you are saying not to play the game. We live in a VERY narcissistic world. So you have better equip yourself with some tools that will help protect yourself. You can’t run and hide forever because these type of ppl are everywhere!
They are EVERYWHERE! They LOVE positions of power! So if people think they can ignore these types of people still are kidding themselves. They are your city managers, majors, cops, doctors, etc. They hold extreme prominent positions BECAUSE we have ignored them and walked away. They will destroy our communities
In normal world yes. I agree. Otherwise you'll lost your whole life. In relationships, with partner, friends or family definitely yes, - NO CONTACT! Otherwise you'll lost your whole life
The best revenge is to walk away, get help, improve yourself for yourself and live a happy life enjoy the small things everyday. Love & light to all survivers of narc abuse ❤️
Same here. Slowly disengage yourself emotionally and psychologically from her. Your life is your own. Slowly see her as a neighbor and then a stranger. It takes time. Less communication starves their narcissist behavior.
and post Subliminal messages for u to see em role playin a victim then Provoke a reaction outta u to going back and forth to blocked again u can always unblock to cycle i hate it
The worse thing you can do to a narcissist is “no contact”. Anything else is still giving them some control of your life and they’ll take that as a win.
@@80sbaby90 Yes and then we don't care. Thats the whole point. They were never in it to begin with, they need to be given Oscars for their performance, its the best you will ever see in your life. But its not real.
@@80sbaby90 I don't think u understood what Richard said about reducing their impact on your life destroying their narcacisstic self image. If u did, u wouldn't be saying this.
REMEMBER Your misery makes them happy... Ergo your happiness will make them miserable. So.. Please.. Get well. Move on. Find yourself. Find True love. And always remember this.. You are a beautiful person with a big beautiful heart and you are loved more than you will ever know. Love from Scotland x
i only started being loved once i escaped my 'family' home. ive been physically free for 10 years now and had hours and hours and hours of therapy. since becoming a mother, i realised how much my mother failed to protect her kids... she blames suspected adhd on why she didn't do anything. once i have my second child in about 3 months, i can allow myself to deal with that stress and put shit right once and for all. my mother allowed my dad to abuse my brother and her, then she allowed my brother to abuse herself and me, sadly that's barely the tip of the ice. you message... worth more than white gold to many many people.
What I've learned from dealing with narcissists is that you should understand their behavior and don't play or go into battle with them. Unless you are ready to consistently think and act like one, it's mentally exhausting trying to beat them at their own game. You have to change your way of thinking while this is their whole personality. Ignore, get some distance, and just live your life.
And dont let them get an emotional rise out of you. They feed on that. It makes them feel powerful. Inside they are all very fragile little children and they know that and fear that everyone else will know it. When one starts talking to you (assuming you are not in a relationship with them) train yourself to think about something else while they are talking. Even if it is 'I wonder if there are any interesting articles in that magazine on the table over there.' And while they are talking completely ignore them and walk over and pick up the magazine and thumb through it and get immersed in an article. The ultimate gray rock.
Do not have any contact, move and you hopefully will never see them again. I have gone as far as deleted my FB account. New life for me finally, minus alot of loved ones but no choice. My loved ones chose him when I was paralyzed. No loyalty lost.
The best thing I've learned on how to deal with narcissistic people is to not engage them in anyway. Pretend that they don't exist. If you see them around and they talk to you. Pretend they're not there. If they call you, block their number all their social media accounts. If they talk to your friends or family about you tell you're friends and family you're not interested in talking about them, they will tell them on their own the next time your name comes up with the narcissist. And the most important thing I've learned is don't give them ammo. Do not vent about them, do not say anything about them and don't say anything nice about them either, do not say anything that might validate their feelings if it were to get back to them. Do not engage, do not vent, do not validate. You're strong and you will break away from this person. You got this.
In short: 1. Silent treatment. 2. Be critical and look down on them. 3. Become ideal and perfect. 4. Turn off your empathy. Bottom line: just become a narcissist yourself 🤣
I finally divorced my narcissistic wife and threw her out. I put her on no contact almost a year ago. I can tell you after going through a lot of pain and trying to think of ways to repay that pain to her the BEST thing I did was let go and move on. Once I stopped fighting back and focused on ME and getting ME better and moving forward and improving every area of my life her rage and pain was evident. MOVE ON. Trying to get payback actually feeds them. They are EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES. Starve them. Give them nothing. Shut them out completely and move on and the better your life without them the more enraged and pained they become. Someone once told me, "Each of us creates our own hell. Let them burn in theirs."
Yeah, gotta take precautions and use their own tactic of well-poisoning against them Though this time around, you shield the well in advance from their poisoning, aka make sure they find out way late or preferably last about getting exposed so they can't spin it around anymore. Garner with evidence, voila - the narcissist lost footing with all but their most gullible piglets (aka the ones giving him the least amount of sustenance) and will experience ANGUISH. From which they will hopefully learn about humility and not to become even more covert and finessed on their next try.
Being happy is the main thing that makes them angry and upset. They hate to see other people happy and doing better than them because they are miserable people.
Yes! I'm fact, she was so miserable that she could barely stand being in the outside world, and if she was, it was to tell me if someone paid her a compliment on her looks that day or if her coworkers or boss had been a-holes. I always tried to come up with shared activities but there was no way to make her actually happy. There was something wrong with everything and she had to rush so she didn't lose her other supply that gives her money.
The way you win is to literally not give a shit and focus on your own life. They become irrelevant. All this stuff is just giving them more energy and keeping YOU in the game. Total waste of your own time and healing. I know a narcissist that hurt me deeply. Today, I could give a shit what they think, what they are doing or who they are doing it with. I never, ever think about them anymore. GAME OVER.
What are you going on about? You're watching a video on how to torture a narc, you then talk about how you couldn't give a shit & never ever think about them anymore.. Are you sure? Just that you go around posting about it says you still think about them.
@@TenableVegan I actually don’t and haven’t for over two years. I rarely watch content on this subject matter I just haven’t unsubscribed yet. When I was in the thick of it I was subscribed to all the content and was totally obsessed. I honestly, Hand on heart have healed. It took me years. And it’s a process and the ONLY way to get over it is no contact. After a year of no contact it’s all over in your mind.
@@suncity22001wow.. you have trauma… if child support goes up just ask for an itemized bill to see everything the money is spent on, just make sure you get it in writing and have a lawyer sign off and be a witness or have it done there in court. Simple, not sure why y’all make things complicated for yourselves emotionally, mentally and financially.
@Melanin2670 Salute! 💯💯❤ They want children, but they don't wanna pay at the end. Everything is money nowadays because bills, foods & etc. What dumb MF don't want their children to ride in a nice car, have the best clothes, shelter, school & etc??! It's time and energy ✨️ Stay GREAT, beautiful!! Bless you & your children. Safe journey. 🙏🙏🙏💜💜💜
As someone with a narcissistic mother, it honestly hurt to hear you say that you just have to accept the fact that you never had a parent. I've always wished I had a normal family, but the older I get, the more I realize that you can't reason with someone who has a warped sense of reality and self.
My mother is a terrible narcissists and only gets worse the older she gets and never believes she is wrong or needs psychological help. Unfortunately at a young age and through the years I was subjected to verbal alcoholic mental abuse. I had parents that would fight constantly never once seeing them loving or affectionate to each other. Either through genetics or exposure in that environment I have found that I have narcissistic tendencies that have wreaked havoc in my personal life, with friends, teams, jobs, and worst of all my marriages. Unfortunately for me my first wife was also a narcissists so we just made each other so miserable by the time it was over I was worse off than I had ever been before meeting her. I had no idea what I was or even realized till years later what my ex was but we did it to each other during our short time together. It was my next wife of 12 years that broke my heart and made me realize that I had problems. She is the greatest person in the world and I just couldn't show enough love or give her the time and help with the kids. I would get selfish and lazy and even I got a second chance after an argument that almost ended us. I tried so hard to be who she wanted me to be. It lasted a while and then I would just slip away again without even realizing it. I would catch my self here and there and would do my best to make it up to her when I would notice I was slacking. I even would go couples and therapy on my own to try and figure why I kept hurting her even when I felt like I wasnt. But I was. I just couldn't keep up I would miss cues and signals more often. I was in my on little world oblivious to those hurting around me. My marriage might be over now and all I feel is shame and the fear while trying to tell myself I want her to happy and healthy without me. I still love her and daily I have to fight the hurt anger and rage I get towards her in moments of quiet reflection that I dont understand. I know Im not a total narcissists or else I would be completely unhinged but do have fight panicked urges to beg for forgiveness I dont deserve. But it hurts on the other side too, for people who didn't cheat or lie to their spouses and thought that was enough. To not know or understand the mental burden or strain I put my wife under even though she was begging me to see it and I just couldn't change. Its heart wrenching because I do love her but I just cant be her person because Im broken and breaking her. I fear for my daughters having this if its genetic. I see it my sister and her daughter. Its a horrible nightmare I wouldn't wish on anyone much less it becoming a painful family tradition. I try to still seek help to change and better myself through therapy. I want whats best for my kids and my wife. To stay in our house while I leave. The worst part is I still have pay a mortgage and wouldn't be able to get an apartment so I would have no choice but to go stay with the one person who made me this way "My Mom". For the sake of my familys health I'll do it but I fear it may be very bad for me when it comes to making progress in trying to change in that environment. Sometimes you just have no choice but to be doomed.
I’ve noticed how much social media has promoted narcissism. It’s frustrating to see how many people keep giving narcissists attention and keep feeding them.
Social media and social networks reward narcissistic behavior and help feed narcissism - especially the networks where "performance", shallowness, perversion and superficial "peacock" behavior are placed on a premium - Instagram, TikTok for example - social media companies earn their ad revenues through thousands of narcissists who "peacock" (These narcissists also bait millions to click, like, engage with them and use them for personal supply and professional gain) But real life is different from virtual life - that's where these "peacock" narcissists hoard victims for abuse - away from social media. The need for videos (like the one we are commenting on) is a way for survivors of narcissistic abuse in real life to be able to identify their personal challenges and find support and help in the company of others like them. This is the only positive outcome about social media and being online. Narcissists thrive by isolating their victims and breaking their will but when the victim becomes a survivor, the survivor still has to learn to re-integrate themselves back into society, find new friends, find support groups, get closure, heal and move on. Counseling, therapy and support groups, forums and empathetic online friends can help accelerate the healing process.
I have a brother in law that hated it when I started ignoring him at gatherings. He had the nerve to tell my husband to make me speak to him. Lol. Husband responded that I didn’t trust him because BIL always lies and makes stories up. He lost his mind. We still don’t talk to him 20 years later. What a peaceful life.
Golden. I figured this out and use it 9n my brother and little sister. He's a damn crazy psycho and she's a little bitch. I have 2 more brothers that know this about them two. We all agree and have a plan. They'll be sorry. I'm only around them because of our elderly parents for now after that, they'll never be in my life. Freaks. I can't believe we're related. They'll be jailed or something. I travel with my husband for his work and never home. Never. I plan on getting rid of my cell phone which I can't wait. They couldn't find me with GPS. They can rot in Hell
I dropped my emotionally abusive gas lighting brother over 20 years ago. Not long ago, he personal dropped a letter in my mailbox asking how I was. He never acknowled not one of the many things he did to me. He ended the letter with, "After all these years, the least you can do is answer this letter"...that line confirmed nothing had changed; my life has been peaceful without him and his family .
I’m working on the healing process to become a super empath. My question is how to deal with a narcissist that you cannot completely go “no contact” and simply just remove from your life? Unfortunately, this is someone I will have to associate with at least a couple times a year (this is my sister in laws husband ). My wife really loves her sister and her sister is genuinely a good person, but had the bad luck of marrying a narcissistic jerk. This person has repeatedly shown a pattern of unacceptable narcissistic behavior not just to me but others. I have stood my ground a few times which led to fights, gas lighting, but dealing with this constantly is frustrating. What’s even more frustrating is I have never been able to talk to my in laws or sister in law openly about this. They don’t like taking about these things and neither does my wife. They realize how he is and just accept it and try to ignore it. But for me ignoring it is very difficult. I am regularly just thinking of all the things this person has said done and keep thinking what will happen the next time I have to see him. Keep think of scenarios and how I must respond to him. Keep thinking of things I should have said but didn’t because I bit my tongue. It’s very exhausting. Any advice?
@@openworldgamer2156 figure out what is your priority; your mental health and quality of life, or giving into a person(s) who expect and insist you accept unhealthy abusive behavior. If you choose the former, be ready to let those people go. I chose a long time ago not to bother with anyone's bs and I've never regretted it.
This is the single best advice: Reduce their significance in your life. The sooner you do this, the more you disempower the narcissist(s). Don't empower the narcissist by focusing on them (they are just a distraction). Focus on you and being the best version of you!
@@louise2091 Hi 👋🏼 yes you are correct, they could be your boss or your parent. You do have a choice as to whether tolerate abuse. I’m 7 years no contact with parents and family, I’m self employed too. The choice is yours. It’s not an easy choice but it’s a very simple one. Trust me when I say, they do not change. Ask yourself, in 5 years what will my situation look like? If you want more of the same , stay as you are. If you want change, be brave, let go 💕. Yes they have enablers who gang up on you, however if you have children, ask yourself, how do I want my children to see me? Do I want to be a shining example, or, do I want them to witness me being abused?
@@louise2091 You can still disengage by not allowing them to trigger you. You can deflect their abuse by refusing to show an emotional reaction to the crap they dish out. They distract easily. Don’t focus on their crap. Change their channel. Dial down their noise. Read up on cognitive dissonance. They provoke because they can’t bear to think of how they would handle it if you weren’t available to them. Feel sorry for them because they have zero insight. Emotionally they’re still 12 or 13 years old with barely intact egos. Like he said, there’s splitting. Fractured reasoning. Flat out disconnects that were a lifetime in coming.
I know this. But it's my mother and my daughters father and I get upset when they mess with my children, who have enough to deal with! But I know all of this but find i still have feelings to deal with. I'm no contact with my ex and imagine my mum is just a little girl who doesn't know better. I'm 62 and find I still crave to be seen and heard despite knowing that this is impossible. Thank you for your reply
These videos are great because Empaths seldom get news or updates after they've gone No Contact and this information shows and tells just how bad these Narcissists were fried in their own hogfat...
When you lower yourself to the same level as a narcissist, 9 times out of 10 they beat you with experience. Devalue their effect on your life, gray rock them, or go no contact. Heal yourself and move on.
Speaking your mind and unload on them to call them out for the evil they have done against you....is most definitely not putting yourself to the same level.....
I often overheard my narcissistic brother on the phone, but I never said anything because I still didn't realize what a narcissist he was, so I played along. When I finally figured out his game and he turned on me, I started exposing some of the lies that he told to people, things that he never wanted anyone to know about. He soon stopped fighting with me out of fear that I would expose more of his BS that he didn't want anyone to know about. My life has improved enormously.
Out of five siblings, I’m the only one who doesn’t entertain my narc brother’s 💩. And I’m the only one he and his wife defriended on social media. Good riddance!
I was the "truth teller" meaning, I didn't go along with the lies to get money or to avoid being ostracized by my mother. I am sorry for her. I did want her love but I needed to realize that people can never fill the hole in your heart, God can though and this is what saved me. learn to nurture and mother yourself so that you attract a better situation to yourself. look at life as a mirror of something you need to give yourself. if people reject you, look at where you might be rejecting yourself or devaluing yourself. they can't do it to us without our having done it to ourselves first. forgive yourself and learn the lesson, God is all there is, really. if we attracted broken, dysfunctional mirrors to ourselves, see how this shows us our "shadow" or hidden thoughts about what we believe we are worth. It is not holy to suffer, God does not want this. we do not have to "earn" God's love, we just have to surrender to it. God bless you.
Experienced divorce lawyer here. Great video! I hope this video reaches people BEFORE they get tangled up with a narcissist. Stay safe out there! Vet very carefully and for a long time before considering marriage. Divorcing a narcissist can be extremely stressful and very expensive.
Being with my ex narc for the past 8 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I hired a private detective Metaspyhub@gmail. com. Once I knew what the narc was up to, it got easier to get over that lying, cheating, sack of doo doo, loser. I didn’t need closure from the narc, I paid for it. Best money I EVER spent!
I was reading your comment and i literally saw a mirror of myself... My -until two days ago- boyfriend kept telling me that his married ex girlfriend loves him more than i do and that she would do anything for him, but he doesn't want her...two days ago she went to his restaurant with another dude , he had locked the door and when i showed up , dead-tired, just to see him and listen to him all night talk to me like i am good for nothing, he told me that he won't open for me, because i slammed the door at him the previous morning, like THAT'S unacceptable!!😂 We ended up fighting really rough and he said i'm toxic and he doesn't want women like me in his life....
@@youareloved8274 all the time and every time. We all have to remember this about narcissists. Especially the covert ones. They are always and forever trying to emotionally manipulate us and get us to feel sorry for them.
They're not going to change so yes, it is best to just move on. They have a disorder. Let them be someone else's problem. I don't have time for playing games. They will never be happy anyway.
Bear in mind that psychopaths and sociopaths also contain narcissistic attributes. Safer to cut off communications with the psychopaths and sociopaths than challenge them.
Absolutely. This video is off. While containing a lot of truths .. who’d want to make someone suffer purposefully and torture them .. beside a narcissist.
1- be happy. 2- be strong. 3- mock and laugh at them when they are evil. 4- make sure they KNOW you hate them for being evil. The end. Have a nice day.
Nr. 3, 4 They are eager for attention wheater it is good (laugh inside being evil is what they do !) or bad (hate). The best to do and feel is indifference and have a good life.
My so called friend, who was extremely narcissistic got absolutely furious with me when I had no interest in competing and playing her games. Some people you just have to walk away from...so I did, in a peaceful manner 🚶♀️✌️
@@xrotarebil yes blocked him already,he is a player for him screwing girls is nothing,for someone like me who is loyal and genuine it feels very bad and depressing to have associated with like dat in past!
They can smell kindness :( my heart hurts. I’ve learnt not to expect anything from others now. A lot of people only seem to think about themselves. Protect your energy guys. Don’t lower to their level and take from it knowledge and strength. X
I am on a journey of 1.setting clear boundaries, 2.self love and 3.working on things that attract me towards me. It is all to do with mind. The first two are also in them. As empaths we have toxic traits that harm us. One needs to understand if doing good will bring joy into life or we are simply doing it because we are told to do this. Example: identify the things you LOVE to do and Identify the things you are "suppose" to do. The things you are suppose to do are usually draining us so we must bring joy in them and do them FOR OURSELVES WHEN WE WANT TO. Similarly we believe "what will others think of us" when the timw comes to leaving and they too think the same but in the initial stages. So this is WHY we become the perfect piece of the puzzle :)
I used your advice. And let me say it absolutely works. My narcissistic ex tried to bring me down. But this time I stayed absolutely calm and responded in the same cold and "I don’t give a F” way. I just said. Sorry to hear you feel that way, but you are entitled to your own opinion. But regardless that won’t change me from having a wonderful day. Bye. Let me tell you. She went absolutely mad and called me all sorts of nasty stuff. I just waited and after some time I replied. Hope you are done, and again that’s your opinion and have a nice day... Then she began to respond with victim card oh and how I could be so cruel and she needed us to talk etc etc. I haven’t responded. I’m actually just laughing now instead letting everything get to me. So again thank you for the help. I have subscribed. Much love and respect from Denmark. You just saved my sanity and life.
They have lots of tricks up their sleeve, mine tried victim, then humour, then threats, anything and everything to see what would stick. I went total NO CONTACT 5 years later he is still trying to get my phone number???? You are right it does work, but only if we work it.
Ye I also realised this when i was 15. My narcissistic father who always beat my mother and torture my mother by brainwashing from night 11 pm till next morning 4 am talking all shits about his superioty and blaming her as the cause of her unsuccessful own life .He also gaslight me and my brother all the time. We can't able to focus on studies. Now as I'm writing this today itself npd father was on his rage.we suffer this every minute as we can't assume when will they get to these.
I noticed my mom was a nar when I was 12. It hurt until I was 15 and decided I had no hope in her being a mom and got on with my life. Now she's homeless and living at my house because I can't picture her homeless 😂😂 she wouldn't survive it
I am in a relationship with one who treats me awfully despite me giving my world to, sad we have people who we love and care for treat us the worst way
I totally agree. Narcissism seems to be a response to child trauma and attachment problems, whether that be neglect from one parent and over-indulgence from the other or whatever. This should create pity rather than a desire to torture, but not to the extent that you accept their behaviour.
@B. Clifton, I agree. Providing a child an environment were they are coddled, enabled, and rescued by the parents promotes the perfect opportunity for a child to become a "Golden Child" narcissist. An idol amongst the family. The child that is overly praised and cherished by the parents provides him/her the mindset that they are the special one and are held in high regard amongst their other siblings, because of a variety of reasons such as their attributes, birth order, accolades from school, friends, community recognition, influence, and reputation. The parents over accommodate and indulge the "Golden Child" with materialistic possessions that are not provided to the other children. Abuse and neglect are not the only avenues for an individual to become a narcissist.
True, my ex was the step sister so she was "unloved" but the sister was placed on a pedestal and fully supported even after being an adult, she's a different monster.
I had 2 narcissist relationships back to back. First was overt, second covert; but endured the same abuse. I’ve been single for almost 3 years. Worked hard in therapy for 7 years. Once you know who they are and what they “look” like, you realize there are a lot of them. I refuse to date anyone that shows multiple flags. I take my time, moving slow, saying no early and often, and I talk a lot less about intimacy and my past. I just keep it light and airy. Most of the men I meet, end up removing themselves. It’s a tough line to walk, getting to know someone AND having healthy boundaries, but it’s so necessary! Congratulations to all that were able to escape the roller coaster, and for those who are wanting to get out… there is hope and you DON’T need them!! It’s hard at first but not nearly as hard as staying with them.
I agree with you.. there are a lot more narcissists out here than is reported on with statistical estimates. The time is drawing near. I'm not giving him supply. I heard him packing up his things .. i think he is finally about to leave ❤
@nmc1859 You have a community behind you to help you thru this process. I don't know a single narcissist survivor that doesn't want to help a fellow victim. Be strong, be safe. We're here for you! 😊
1. Know what triggers you. 2. Learn 📕 to let it go. 3. Gradually stop ✋ talking about them. 4. Stop 🚫 thinking about them. 5. Avoid them at any cost 💵. 6. Be aware of what you don't want. 7. Know why you want to be happy 😊. 8. Start living a life that makes you happy.
Yes get off the emotional roller coaster that leaves you exhausted all the time and easier to manipulate look at all their ask yourself did that really happen is that real
What if they turn your whole community against you and probably the whole world!, that's what it feels like because everyone is joining his game like if they were puppets and I the lab rat. it's just a nightmare how now, he gets to wash his hands clean and let others kill me while he sits back and enjoys the show. Thank God for his protection or I would of turned crazy and probably shot the whole place up but I read what they did to Jesus and I learned from him. He taught me how to love my enemy and pray for them, how to be brave , how to be patient, how to be loyal and stick to my word and how to be compassionate just like my father is compassionate. God let's the sun hit everyone just as the same amount as he does to those that follow him. I need to know what I can do so people will stop living in that illusion or has the narcissist damaged my reputation forever?
@@ivannieves154 when I cut all ties from The narcissist I also cut all ties to their family and friends it's just a toxic environment sometimes you just have to move on start over and do you really think this person is turned the entire town against you or is that with the narcissist wants you to believe
Good Heavens. I am so grateful to have stumbled upon this video, raised by a narcissist and married a narcissist for 33 years, a marriage of drama and broken dreams. Today I am free to now live. Thank you for sharing. 💐(new subscriber)
Stay safe, but close the door hard on these people and don’t be afraid to tell anyone and everyone about it. They get away with their nonsense because no one typically says no to them.
I do agree with you, but only if you can get away. I was married to one for 18 years and every time I tried to leave, or kick him out, he would cunningly manipulate the situation so that we stayed together. I am finally out, and living my best life.
It’s interesting challenging the idealized self of a vulnerable narcissist. It makes you feel like you’re being cruel but you know how cruel they were to others.
Seeing so many people with the same experience here makes me feel a sense of belonging. In the East, knowledge is not widely available and life is so lonely.
Oh boy, tell me about it, I am from the East too, and was thinking the same like you, a sense of belonging with people who have gone through the same traumatic experience and understand what it is like dealing with a narcissist. Very thankful for such educational videos, you are not alone, God bless.❤
I agree. I think it's hard for some when it's a close family member. People say "oh you only get one mother you should try to fix things." #1 I didn't ask her to get pregnant not my fault or problem #2 She has used me my entire life to just be her personal servant and fanclub #3 has ZERO respect for me and my boundaries yet expects me to kiss her ass every moment of every day #4 I have a daughter who needs ME, a daughter who my N mom is now trying to turn against me. Which will never happen. I have a true relationship with my girl. Even at 10 years old she knew I would respect her privacy and space and her opinions. She knows me and I know her better than anyone. She is now an adult and really a wonderful young lady. I couldn't be prouder AND I will protect her at any cost to myself. Including from her psychotic narc grandma. I've had to learn that the relationship I THOUGHT I had was phony. My mom is fake and phony and will backstab anyone in a NY second if it benefits her. What type of mother is in competition with their child. What kind of mother sleeps with thwir daughters partner? Not one partner BUT 2 that I know of. It's sick shit. She needs to be in a padded room. And it's not just me. After 33 years of marriage my father walked out on her in 2017 and went No Contact. At first I thought he was cruel. Now I am following his lead. Unfortunately my onky sibling died last September so my mom has lost her whole family. And if you ask her we are all cruel and mean and abusive. She cries abuse every 10minutes if you DARE challenge her or question her or tell her give me a second I'm busy. I cannot even count on all finger and toes how many times she called the cops on my father
@@MissManaged1001 Unbelievable!! You're so smart & strong for getting through all of that!! I'm grateful for people who teach & share or I would still be believing that I'm the crazy one. I'm also grateful that rough experiences brought me closer to the Almighty 🙌🏼🙏🔥
@Miss Managed This is almost my life told by you. If you do what they want you to do, you destroy yourself. If you don't do what they want you to do, you pay dearly.
@@evaelizabeth7785 I felt alone my whole life. Now I know why. SHE wanted me all to herself to kiss her ass. It's so therapeutic to meet others like you who have been thru this. It's abuse in it's most insidious form
00:01 Reduce the narcissist's significance in your life 01:37 Let go of their significance and challenge their idealized self. 03:19 Understanding the power dynamic in the relationship is crucial. 04:51 Refuse to live in a dark and oppressive world. 06:34 Threatening to permanently damage their sources of narcissistic supply is highly distressing for the narcissist. 08:14 Narcissists distort reality to maintain their false self. 09:44 Narcissists portray an overblown image but are actually fragile and easily broken. 11:06 Narcissists often display false virtue signaling but may mistreat animals in reality.
I did these steps (except threatening to expose them) not because I hated him and wanted revenge. I did them because I finally was able to love myself more than the narc. It took 40 years for me to get it. Once it all clicked the Lord leading me, I had the courage to leave. It's been over a year. I'm still being healed by God. I have recently been diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer and have more than enough on plate. I am now happy and free even with the challenges I face. Happy New year!
Hi, I know we’re strangers, but I want to reach out because your life experience touched me. I’m sorry you’re suffering. You’re not alone. I hope you have family who are not toxic too. I wish you well. Keep fighting! Have a happy Christmas, even if you’re experiencing joy at the most simplest of pleasures, like the sunrise. There are gifts everywhere for us to discover. I know illness steals so much, & it makes your world smaller. Do not let the seemingly insignificant pleasures & joys pass you by; embrace each one! 🎄✨♥️
I was best friends with a psychopath. I always admired how calm he was. Cool and calm. He was a nice guy. Former preacher. He always drove as fast as he could. Drove in the left lane. He faked empathy. He future-faked me all the time. He betrayed me in the end. After 12 years of friendship. I now realize that psychopaths want to see you beg. It makes them feel powerful. He did the same thing to his ex wife. He abandoned her when she was pregnant with their baby. He refused to help her. I now understand why she despises him so much. He has no conscience. He lies to everyone. He steals every chance he gets. If you meet someone who shows little emotion, watch out!
I agree, especially that last part. Don’t abuse the abuser. It to me seems like becoming the thing you hated in the first place. Don’t create a new cycle.
This right here. After a while, I wound up mirroring his abuse for my own sanity (more-so to feel ANY sense of justice), but it doesn't fix anything. It does not change the narcissist, they don't seem to notice and they just keep abusing or neglecting you, or doubling down on their abuse if you piss them off. It's not worth it. Literally the best thing to do is don't mess with it. Run. You wouldn't mess with a beehive. Think of each bee as one of the many ways a narcissist can and will hurt you. You are no match. Just run away.
I've learned the best weapon against a narcissist is indifference, totally confuses them, and it's what you eventually truely feel anyway once you know exactly who and what they are. Having the knowledge and self confidence to torture them with mockery if they come at you is just a bonus.
@Frederick I'm not looking for advice thanks, that's an absurd statement, I can make a judgement call when there's a risk of physical danger but I'm not fear led. I know you mean well though
I wouldn't encourage anyone to play that silly game. Count your loses and leave. A narcissistic is a soulless being on a mission to destroy you. To waste time trying to play their manipulative games would cause you to lose yourself and even snap. I'd encourage people to cut them off cold turkey. Leave and cut all line of contact. That is how you win. CHOOSE YOURSELF and leave
True, but in their minds, the requests are reasonable and you are the one being unreasonable. Torturing people isn't the solution. Narcissists and slight autists (old aspergers) are being unfairly treated due to this internet wave mess that mixes things up and mistake them for psychopaths (ASPD) or pyschopathic narcissists (NPD + ASPD) who are intentionally evil.
The problem is in 4 hours you could cover psychopaths two times over in an informative video. Some of these hosts have 200 30min clips on narcissism and by the time you’d watched all what was said to do at the beginning has been contradicted 20 times by the latest. The old who’s got “ the newest” fad. It’s kind of scary victims guessing what the narcissist did to them. I’ll let you in on a little secret. The hosts are not out of it yet or are they heal. They haven’t started new lives . They have started a RUclips channel. They aren’t in new relationships, traveling, partaking in hobbies. Nope they talk about narcissism everyday. Probably 4 times as much as they ever have, they haven’t left narcissism. Live and breathe it daily. Making a 20min daily video with the “flash new method “ that they haven’t used nor are they role models for how to start a new life with out narcissism. Why do you think they are addicted to releasing new content? Becuase when they don’t and they stop they have to face the battles they still have not overcome.
It depends on if you are the primary target or not . Of course saying no to something minor ( to them) may seem to be the end of it but you have no idea if they are keeping tabs, contemplating another demand or doing something passive aggressively to seriously undermine you. This video is not really about just anyone with some narc tendencies but a narcicisst who depends on seeing you in misery to live - a higher end of the spectrum narcicisst.
Cut them out of your life as much as possible. Remember, the narcissist is pathetic and insecure. They will try to use other people to manipulate and get to you. The only way to take away their power is to not give them any.
#1 is huge. HUGE. They will know if you’re acting and they will use this to further abuse you. You can’t be wishy-washy with it either. You cannot even give them an inkling that they are significant at all, or it won’t work. That’s why it must be authentic. I got so good at this that I had the narcissist tell me that I lacked empathy. I said “Well…maybe I do.” He said that I was cold and I just shrugged. My past interactions with that person would have been to defend myself to the ends of the Earth and provide evidence to the contrary. But….I truly don’t gaf if he thinks that now. I prefer that he does think that actually, so he’ll leave me alone. You need to get to the point of having nothing to offer them by way of emotion; good, bad or ugly. Save your emotions for yourself and the people you do care about.
Why even talk to this person then? I don't get it. You want him to leave you alone, yet you're talking to him. Seems counter-intuitive and perhaps a little covert-narcissistic.
@@sheogorathprinceofmadness2223 I’m not understanding if you’re just trying to overuse the word narcissist, but we have a child together. Unfortunately there are situations where I have to speak to him.
This is amazing , my ex-husband was abusive in every way. I treated him this way after i finally got away. To take the power away from him felt better than I'd felt in a long time. Love to all you survivers out there xx
# 2 can be very dangerous to try . They are smart and will pick up on that and torture you for that . I had this with a boss . I didn’t dare try it. She reduced everyone to tears and then had a mocking smiling when she got that response .# 3. I actually did and she resented it totally and came back at me .
*CRAZY NARCISSISTIC STORY* I had a motel room with a girl. (1 year together) We were living there for a month because we didn't have an apartment & I used to go to work & she'd remain at the room. Well, one day I came back after work around 11pm & she wasn't there. Her phone was off. Anyway, a bad storm was going on & the motels heat & power went out. The room was getting cold so I decided to take a nap in my car. I parked in a dark lit area on the other side of the building. (Away from my usual spot) Anyway, I fell asleep in my car & woke up at 6am to a text vibration. It was her. *"Hey babe, I spent the night in the hospital. Long story. Can you pick me up when you wake up?"* 😘 Just as im putting my phone down, I look to my left & cannot believe my eyes... Who do I see? Her!!! Standing 4 parking spaces over, smoking a cigarette between the cars, texting on her phone. The LAST person she expected to see at 6am on the opposite side of the motel was me. I rolled down my window & called her name, she looked at me like a deer in headlights. I said "..Why did you just text me to pick you up from the hospital..?" She said 😐 "hang on.." and drifted around the corner out of sight. I waited a few seconds then circled around the corner & she was gone. I returned to our room- She wasn't there either. She was avoiding me. Clearly she must've stayed the night in another person's room & she didn't expect to run into me. I caught her lmao. I assume her plan was to eventually get dropped off at the hospital before I woke up (usually 10am) & walk out pretending she spent the night & give me a sob story to cover her ass. The lengths psycho women will go to not get caught. 💯🥲🔫🤦♂️
It's hell on Earth when you've a child with one. Another 11 years of schooling where every single parenting detail is fuel for abuse. My beautiful boy is being used as a weapon. It's been horrendously difficult to navigate through. But I'm gradually learning & gradually healing. Love & appreciate your sharing's bro. Thanks alot.
The real hell on earth is experienced by the child. Because he or she chose none of this. Please don’t forget to apologize to your child someday in the future when they become mature enough to comprehend it all. Please don’t take this advice the wrong way. I realize it was an honest mistake on your part. But as a child of a narcissist father, trust me when I tell you: Your apology will go a LONG way. Make sure the timing is right. Preferably when your child is near adulthood but still very young.
@@finster1968 Cheers. I had a f*****g s**t childhood up to 17. Now I see I've created a gentle replica & similar patterns for my boys to grow up in. As I craved having a family so badly I've been a walking wounded target & connected with the wrong women. I completely love being a father though & my son's are the best part of my life. I adore them. Learning to navigate a minefield of constant narcissistic parenting doom is unbelievably painful torture though. Yes I experienced this as a child to. Thanks for chatting out your view.
@@taricklloyd5904 - Thanks for the reply. Same story here. But I took a very different path and decided not to have any children. So you’re probably a better man than I am. This wasn’t meant to question your judgement or your dedication as a parent. But it sounds like you already know that. Take good care of those boys and they’ll be loyal to the end. Best of luck to you.
Another good scenario to mess with them is when they start projecting their toxic traits onto you and the things they don’t like about themselves quickly agree with them and walk away. For example, if they say they can’t stand toxic people, say I agree then say goodbye and walk away.
@@moniqueaugustine8914 this is so true. My ex pulled all different tactics to get an emotional reaction from me once I started seeing who she really was. I started to move on and heal on my own, ignored her games while being physically away. She had the audacity to say that she had no idea why I was acting this cold and distant, I mean come on... she didn't do anything wrong! 🤡 After I announced the breakup (not my first try) I had to wait for more than a month to get my stuff back! Once she realised I am not bowing anymore she gave up. She never apologised. She never said "hey I know I messed up, I'm so sorry, please can we talk". No. She wanted ME to pursue her and work things out. Haha. What a poor soul.
😂😂 I've done this ... Recently...they will slam a few doors( same doors you barely hear open & close ), the same aluminum cans you never hear being set down will become the loudest thing you ever heard😅😅 and the sound of one being opened goes from almost silent to being popped open with such a force you would swear they were trying out for a Coca-Cola commercial, last but not lease they will all of a sudden start looking for something in those dresser draws that are opened and slammed 100+ times. OH! Almost forgot, when they know it's time that you usually go to bed, all the above mentioned continues with more aggressiveness then you could imagine along with pots & pans being hit together and an uneven load of clothes in the washing machine. 😅😅😅 That person stays out of my way now and as a roommate, I haven't seen the person but maybe 3/4 times in the last month.
@@veerakowlessar1353 it will trigger them for sure weather it’s a big or small issue. Now depending on the person maybe it’s wise not to trigger them, but in my case their games ran out and can not play in their fantasy world for my own sake and mental well-being. It wasn’t over night on how to deal with it, it took time.
Thank you Richard for this concise, easy to understand strategy to protect yourself from ongoing narcissistic abuse 👏 I am sure none of us will use this strategy lightly or vindictively, but there comes a time we do have to fight back and effectively PROTECT ourselves. And I know already that this is one way to do it, with these narcs. But seeing it put in 4 simple steps as you have is very helpful indeed. Bless you for this, and Merry Christmas Richard. 🎅 keep up the excellent work. None of us has the motivation to torture anyone, none of us are those kind of people, but the narcs abuse is relentless and damaging, and having a strategy to stop them in their tracks is vital for all of us. Peace and love to us all 💟💟💟🙏🙏🙏☃️☃️☃️
I have remained friendly and polite but stopped providing information that they can use against me and have only communicated online for months not face to face. It all helps me protect myself.
The problem with exposing them is that narcissists usually have everyone around themselves under their thumb of control. So when you expose them you actually are just setting them up to do the only thing they do when exposed, they “Burn” you and destroy your social life with everyone you love and care about that you share a common relationship with whether that be family, friends or even your own children.
I told my "friends" what a horrible abusive ahole he is, yet when I finally left him they all stayed friends with him!!! He smeared me and charmed them all!!! I cut contact with all our mutual friends!
Thats what my mom tried to do. But the reality is I could care less. Im not dependent on other people. Plus I moved. Shes sick now. I refuse to let her bother me. My dad cutting her off shows her that I WON
@@macraeolinger mine comes at me through other people… lies that I never hear until it’s gets around the neighborhood community. They all believe it because they only hear one side. They barely know me, but it’s small town-like. Eventually someone tells me, but it’s a fact in their minds by then. This last time, it was posted on the community FB, and the people who control it were allowing it. My return post, a while later… and taken down the same day, made quite the impact in its short life. The community was suddenly focused on HIM, all while I humiliated all of them through him. There has been peace for three years, almost to the day. He’s been gathering a new posse in that time. You know how you can just feel it in the air? Your story sounded so similar to mine I just had to share. Mine is a neighbor of almost a decade… war started year one after being his friend for about 5-6 months, before I went no contact. (I took him down hard that time. Reduced him to the fetal position.). Everything was as clear as it could be made. Yet here I am, feeling something in the air, again, and again, ad nauseum. They never stop unless you can get far enough away. Build your skills. Godspeed.
I wanted to hurt the narcissist when I first became aware that I had been dealing with a narcissist, and felt very resentful for all that had been stolen from me. I no longer dream of revenge by my hand. I now just trust that karma will prevail.
The last thing I said to my mother was: Why don't you just pretend like I'm dead? I haven't spoken to the narcissistic nightmare for over 8 years now and I feel better than ever.
Good on ya. I didn’t speak to mine for over ten years and refused to say goodbye before she passed away. She spent her entire life trying to pass her generational curse onto my head and I wouldn’t allow her to do it. Meanwhile, she treated my younger sibling like a prince and he was so spoiled that he is out of touch with reality. This life is hard enough without people who supposedly “love” us mucking it all up.
@@Job.Well.Done_01 I'm in the same boat. Same doomed delusional sibling treated like a prince. There is something comforting in knowing that we aren't alone in these situations. Wish you the best.
The best thing you can do is ghost them. No contact. Never ever acknowledge their existence or that they even upset you. Let them eat a hole in their brain by chewing on why you disappeared. If you run into them treat them with neutrality no matter what they say. Ghosting is the absolute worst thing you can do to a person who needs to be desired and needed by you. The best time to Ghost them is when they think everything is going well not after a fight. They won't be able to make sense of it. Even when long after they "try" to replace you they'll still be obsessing over it. Ghosting is not generally a good practice and is reserved for the cruelest and most dangerous people. Please don't do this to someone who does truly deserve it .
Just to add… Some thing funny that I did… My ex and I wound up going to the same school and he told everyone he dated me. When anyone would ask about it I would say “who?!” And act like I never met him 😆
@@pennyjane9906 That shouldn't concern you unless your a narcissist. FYI narcissists are extremely cruel. Their victims must do what it takes to free themselves. No contact with a strategy is a great thing ... Unless you're a narc. 😉 Nice try with the ole guilt trip but it failed .
Yep totally! But i think that another huge fear they have is to be exposed cause their image is everything to them, so when you are safe make people know who they truly are, the Soldiers of Satan!!
Currently have a family member who I believe to be a covert/vulnerable narcissist. Honestly the best thing I found was once they're cut off and in no contact you simply just wash them clean out of your life, no point trying to stoop to their tactics or anything. They're the types to hold onto grudges for as long as they need to and usually they do so in order to justify their wrongdoings against you and as was said in the helpful video they will have a disproportionate reaction to your actions. As someone who loathes drama and conflict I don't have any time for that.
So if you believe someone has npd, it's appropriate to just go with that belief without actually knowing for sure and treat them a certain way thinking you are getting back at them.. even though you don't actually know if they have npd. You just feel like that person does and the actions affecting that person are justified.. you sure you aren't narcissistic?
If possible, you should gather evidence and present it to their peers. But only if the evidence is strong enough to make a very strong case. Otherwise, it'd just be gossip, which is ordinarily a pretty narcissistic behaviour.
Narcissists are children trapped in adult bodies. Do NOT seek revenge. Do NOT smear them. Do NOT interfere with their new supply. Go no contact completely and seek therapy for healing. (Don’t stay around survivor channels too long because they are more toxic than narcissists are)
Yes they want you to try to put them in time out they will never learn they will always be in denial. They will always be childish because negativity to me is a childish thing, so unfortunately you need to leave them be and ignore and move on with your life.
You are currently unhappy, find/ do things that create joy, realize that the narcissist is actually a negative addition into your world and little by little walk further away into a happier life.
If you absolutely have to “deal” with a narc, I would recommend to keep firm bounderies, and keep your distance at the same time. As a second choose on how to deal with the narcissist I would recommend keeping firm boundaries and also to correct them every time they missteps, lie, manipulates etz. When your boundaries are not respected by the narcissist, you need to follow through with consequenses of bad behaviour. You will have your hands full going forward this way. When following through with consequenses to their “re”actions, you explain to the narc, that you are not one of the narc`s victims. You have no intentions of becoming one but will be a nuisance to the narcissist in a way that is irritating to him/her. This method is not risk free but narcissists will often choose the path of no or low resistance. This method is a time consuming path to chose. This route sometimes require more time than you would like to spend on these issues. You feel that distancing yourself all together would have been easier. That is however not always possible. Often there is no way to avoid him/her. You unfortunately have to deal with the narcissist because you are colleagues or close family. You must think through what you need the narcissist to respect and what arias of conflict you must pay extra attention to, to keep your integrity and to detect manipulative behavior. Be prepared and clear in your communication and stick to your guns. Try to stay under the radar as much as you can, even when this method is the best for you. A way that works as well is to play along with the narcissist and act like you agree with everything they do and say. This method works well until many people in the narcissists sphere do the same. When everyone agrees with the narcissist you are back on square one. The narcissist must have victims and this setting is no different. To go NO Contact is another good alternative and method, and is probably the best option when it is possible to cut all contact permanently. Additionally, That feeling when your partner cheated and you don't have the courage to leave him / her so you just death with the pain and live everyday asking questions about your worth. This pain is different from the cheating one_living and seeing him everywhere anticipating when him or she do it again. The best thing is to hire above private investigator Metaspyhub@gmail. com to help you spy on their cellphone remotely just like he did for me.
I would strongly disagree on the keeping the boundaries part because they don’t have or respect boundaries also you say to let them know when they break the boundaries but that does nothing In my experience because they do not care they will gaslight you and then you continue down the same path. Curious why you say the opposite?
If you focus on them AT ALL, even to create boundaries, then they've already won. The only way to endure a narcissist is to have enough narc traits of your own to not be bothered that they are trampling all over boundaries. Otherwise, just leave or have them removed. Setting up "boundaries" for them is just waiving a red cape in front of the proverbial bull, and they only have one emotional reaction set.
I've exposed them it got worse. I'm from Canada. What is your advice? Same here being bullied, mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for over 12 years. I've happened to be the top worker for 38 years and have never been suspended. These bullies are jealous and miserable people. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, I drink, I'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. The biggest mistake since they removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroyed my reputation. I will never quit to make these lazy bums ever win. If I decide to transfer to another hospital and may start mobbing me once again, I don't know all the new managers etc. like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. I will never let bullies try to control me from quitting. Never let these low life lazy bums win ever win.b
1. Walk away.
2. Walk away.
3. Walk away.
4. Walk away.
It is funnier to play with them.
@bernadettemcginnis3142 Most are useless old people, they can't win against a good beating stick,
Narcissists are VERY good at getting what they want. Walking away doesn't always work. It's so easy to manipulate people. It's all a game. People are pawns. Everyone serves a purpose in life. Otherwise, why have them around you? Seriously. I know they do in my life anyway. You have NO idea the lengths they would go to to have someone in their pocket or get the desired attention. Trust me. I've done some MAJOR stuff to get attention. We're not bad people though. Everybody acts like we are.
best approach is to walk away, but if you have a child with a narc then it's hard
Exactly
When you see that a person is narcissistic, plan quietly and run. Don’t look back.
The key here is to be safe. Mine tried to snap my neck when he thought I smiled when he was in a rage. Ok maybe I did but in my defense, his rages were becoming ridiculous to me. And back in the early 80's, we didn't know about the different personality disorders so to me he was just a grown man acting like a toddler when they don't get their way.
Do you hear yourself trying to justify a laugh for not being physically violated? You need to respect yourself way more woman
If my ever touches me he knows I will kick him in the balls. I warned him several times. I kicked him and he went down. I will never leave my house that I worked so hard for. He can leave.
Don't look now but I think we have a narc in the house!
@Jys that sounds like bullying and isolating, especially with that "we". Pretty healthy, indeed!
@@itsawowman_ bullying? Oh so you the victim cuz I called you out. Hm. Ok. I think you proving my point narc
Im here because i didn't know i was a narcissist. So i figured the best step was recognizing the problem and learning what I've been doing wrong!
Can I ask what your childhood was like? Was it similar to the video mentioned?
Wow, ive never heard someone admit they were a narcasist. But as the saying goes, the first step to recovery, is admitting you have a problem. Best of luck to you, truly.
I wish the man I loved was as brave. He rather deny who he is.
It sounds like people who have this disorder suffer tremendously. We should really have more help and support for these people
I broke up with a narcissist after a shitty five month relationship, by telling him on New Year’s Day that he was dismissed and that his services were no longer needed. When he demanded an explanation, I calmly told him there were better candidates out there. Yup, that was one pissed off narcissist, but he made no further attempt to stay in touch.
Just do Castle Greystone on them until they fuch off. I think freeze-types do this best because they're hardwired to draw a blank when they're provoked.
I often find myself embarrassingly lost for words when I feel something wrong with someone. Then when that person disappears, I think about why I was so tense and abrupt, and I realise that my body, or my unconscious, was protecting me from some sympathy-grubbing silly fucher.
This happens occasionally, and now I'm very conscious of who is acting like a silly barsterd. Once you know the signs and how to respond, it's like join the dots: bing bing bing, fuch off fuch off. It just becomes second nature. Smile, give short, non-committal, one word, one sentence responses. You can see them _trying_ to find a way in, you can see their little robot brains working away and getting nowhere. It's very sad and very boring.
100% accurate Sir. I'm starting to recognise the physical reaction I get from being in the company of Narcs. Met one at the gym recently, everyone else found him funny and entertaining but I picked up on his Narc responses pretty quickly and noticed the feeling of being strangled in my throat. I backed off and he has gone on to Narc another lady. Unfortunately we can't warn folks off, unless they're experienced it and healed, they just don't get it.
The best course of action is to walk away forever. Don’t play the same mind games. Get yourself out of there and put yourself around people who love you. If you find yourself temporarily stuck, then use the grey rock method, which by itself is torture to an abuser without being designed for torture. It’s self defense that keeps your integrity and dignity intact.
Nothing gonna work...get away ASAP!
I’m be ng bullied by a female narc living downstairs, she’s empowered by her little gang who live there and visit their. I’ve got police and housing involved but no real result yet, they’ve been making dog barking noises Everytime I walk in/out of our block after her junkie friend called me a dog. (I stood up to him when he stole from me and all hell has broken loose ever since. I need to catch the barks on video because it’s hard to get help without it. I’m in a bad way 3 months into their harassment, I live alone and there’s 4-8 of them in her flat every day. We share a block door and path way so it’s impossible to avoid them and there’s always one of them at the window smoking, day and night. It’s really coming on top for me mentally. I’m strong but It’s consuming me. My brothers haven’t dropped by to help so that’s another layer of grief right there. To be fair though they have young kids and don’t live nearby and nobody needs this shit. I do feel let down though. I’m crawling through life with a brave face on it truth be known. I’m 54 and this is all
Too much for me. Ima listen to his now, I just had to let this out. I feel embarrassed admitting that I’m not strong enough to make it stop too.
I haven’t even listened to this yet, best put it on now. Thx for being here richard & people.
True torture to a narcissist is you don't even wanna torture them. You don't care. Whatever happens to them you're indifferent. You focus on yourself, not them.
I agree with this comment. I found myself thinking, as I watched this video, that doing this correctly would involve giving them even MORE of your time, attention, and energy, just so you could "get back," which feels like still being hooked. And it's not very adult. I just want to sidestep their games. What they do with that is their business, not mine. I just want to stop repeating this pattern in my other relationships. That's the hard part.
THIS
Yes. Roundbeargames you’re correct. I don’t want to torture anyone, I just want to be free.
Best advise 👌
Working on yourself make them less significant starve them of the attention they crave untill they are missing that "va va voom"
For a burger 🍔
When you had a steak 😋
True
The only way to win is not to play the game. The end.
War Games
God bless Richard Grannon. ✝️
💯. Rich has narc relationship with his subs
Well said! You expressed this in fewer words than I ever could. Words of wisdom. 🙌🏼♥️✨
Does this mean I should stop throwing dog shit over my narcissistic neighbour's fence?
Don’t try to torture a narcissist. They are already tortured. NO CONTACT FOREVER.
💯💯💯💯
HOW?
Gets really muddy when there’s children involved. You have to confront them. It’s sick. Someone uses their children for control. I’m living it right now.
😂😂😂
i agree but kids ?! i dont want contact ta all or our daughter to aee him she doesnt want to wither ?! help
The best weapon against a narcissist is total indifference. They want attention and reactions so a "Yeah, whatever 🥱" attitude drives them nuts.
Factz
They can’t take what they dish out at all!
That's called grey rock
No, no no. See the vid what do narcissists do when alone? If they're ignored the challenge is accepted. They plot, scheme, backstab, form alliances, control all the people they know you know. You ignoring them is just another way get back at you. You don't get off that easily.
But this is what narcissist do and say
It's easy to torture a narrassistic person, just put your own values before theirs...
@@tomsmarkovs1946 Oh my- you really need to get away.
@@auntihooha no kidding. living with and waking up to that kind of stress every day is a killer. whatever she may bring to the table, it's not worth the price of living in fear of a monster.
That was as simple and as true as it gets!
the animal cruelty hypocrisy one is interesting, my sister has been displaying more narcissistic traits since being with her boyfriend (who seems very narcissistic), and she is very hypocritical about animal welfare. she keeps rats, which actually started with one i was intending to feed to my snake. while i always prefer feeding humanely euthanized frozen-thawed rodents this one wasnt eating and I wanted to try offering it a live one to stop its hunger strike. when i got it at home the snake wasnt interested and since it was a juvenile and was already on the large side for that snake it would have been too large by the time I was ready to offer another meal. so I offered it to her to keep as a pet, and she since has gotten two more. im also somewhat allergic to rats, i wear a mask on feedign day to avoid too much exposure, but she keeps hers in my dads office which I have to pass through on the way to do my laundry. i keep all my snakes in my room, even though its inconvenient, so there is quite a bit of entitlement demonstrated already by keeping her personal pets in a shared space. even though i no longer feed any live rodents and all six of my snakes happily take frozen-thawed rats or mice off of tongs she still acts as if im some unfeeling monster that im not bothered by preparing dead animals to feed my pets. the drawback of feeding this way is you do have to sometimes waste the rats if the snakes dont want them, but again they were all euthanized humanely so its not a big deal. she acts as if its such a tragedy that a rat captively bred for the express purpose of becoming food was 'wasted'. not really a waste anyways because its necessary to give the snake regular opportunities to eat whether it actually does or not. this empathy is either just an act or a form of emotional dysregulation akin to that of a borderline, not true or healthy empathy. her true lack of empathy towards animals (and humans) is evident when it comes to the family dogs. ive always walked and fed them but ive recently been suffering from severe asthma attacks almost every day. so keeping up with the walking has been difficult. ive asked if she could step up for a while and take over some of the walking duties and she hasnt done it once. my empathy for the dogs who have come to expect the enrichment of daily walks always gets the best of me and i force myself to take them out and it takes me an hour or two just to recover from a 20 minute walk around the block. a real test of empathy is whether or not you are willing to inconvenience yourself to act on it, as they say , talk is cheap, and its easy to express empathy verbally but also relatively meaningless if not matched by action. and to be clear my sister has all the time in the world right now as she's on school holidays, its not that she's too busy to help out.
Mine has so much power over me still because more than 1/3 of my life's savings (I'm disabled with no income) and everything I own are all still under his control. Is he cooperating? No. He's Hoovering me like a staulker...
I can't Wait to get my own values back in the driver's seat of my life.
Congratulations for having apparently done it. Good for you!
They absolutely HATE to be ignored. When they can’t engage with you to get a reaction from you they lose it. They can’t stand not to be in control of their target’s emotions. 😎
Yeah I had to go no-contact on my entire family. For decades. It sent them nuts.
Truth!!!
True and sometimes they will come again and again. How many people out there that we think are simply narcissists?
Many of these people are more than just narcissists, they’re psychopaths, sociopaths, and Machiavellians. Some of these people may also have serious mood disorders or personality disorders too. I think this kind of thing is either more common these days, or just more in your face as American society grew more liberal, or, that maybe given the greater connectivity people have these days with the internet, social media, smartphones, etc.
We make more connections with more people than ever before. Either way, narcissism is such a disturbing phenomenon.
When I went onto a different room, after hours of yelling and talking, my ex would scream I've abandoned her like bloody murder.
@@jasonwimberly5636
They are also Very Subtly MALEVOLENT ! Mentally , Physically and Verbally and Use what i call METACOMMUNICATION to administer their Abuse ie Pulling faces to signal their Disingenuous Disgust hence suggesting they are superior and also twisting the Victims mind to have them Think ( What's the matter with me etc) - until eventually the victim realises the Narcs Metacommunication is Projected at them upon which Shock sets in and more confusion for the Victim.
If you absolutely have to “deal” with a narc, I would recommend to keep firm bounderies, and keep your distance at the same time. As a second choose on how to deal with the narcissist I would recommend keeping firm boundaries and also to correct them every time they missteps, lie, manipulates etz. When your boundaries are not respected by the narcissist, you need to follow through with consequenses of bad behaviour. You will have your hands full going forward this way. When following through with consequenses to their “re”actions, you explain to the narc, that you are not one of the narc`s victims. You have no intentions of becoming one but will be a nuisance to the narcissist in a way that is irritating to him/her. This method is not risk free but narcissists will often choose the path of no or low resistance. This method is a time consuming path to chose. This route sometimes require more time than you would like to spend on these issues. You feel that distancing yourself all together would have been easier. That is however not always possible. Often there is no way to avoid him/her. You unfortunately have to deal with the narcissist because you are colleagues or close family. You must think through what you need the narcissist to respect and what arias of conflict you must pay extra attention to, to keep your integrity and to detect manipulative behavior. Be prepared and clear in your communication and stick to your guns. Try to stay under the radar as much as you can, even when this method is the best for you. A way that works as well is to play along with the narcissist and act like you agree with everything they do and say. This method works well until many people in the narcissists sphere do the same. When everyone agrees with the narcissist you are back on square one. The narcissist must have victims and this setting is no different. To go NO Contact is another good alternative and method, and is probably the best option when it is possible to cut all contact permanently. Additionally, If you need to find out about a cheating narc; send a request to: Metaspyhub@gmail. com
It was crucial for me not to get too emotional regarding his abusive childhood because the compassion, my love would lead to my experiencing his abuse over and over again because he would behave sadistically and I"m "oh but, (picturing him as a young innocent abused child, because I genuinely loved the man)
THAT almost did me in time and time again
Cut out and NEVER go back EVER. You are safe.
True & i did the same so never again i would be around such a person.
Yes but what about the people unsafe. Do people have to actually get cops involved. And does that even work
@@LeayahChristine go to the police if you're unsafe. If you're truly unsafe there's nothing to "work" or not work.
Dude I do not feel safe especially from police and court!!!!
@@sanctuairegaia5213 yeah it's a stupid comment. What if someone was in serious danger who read that, and then cut them off and ended up dead.
From my experience with dealing with narcissists. Ignore them and don't break your silence under any circumstances.
Not just silence.. STOP doing any and everything that you have been doing for them previously. EVERYTHING!! that’s how I was able to rid myself of this one..give nothing!!
No conversation
No sex
No cooking
No cleaning
Not even a glance.. the demon flee within couple weeks.
Resist the ------ and it will _________??
yeah, I noticed they really enjoy it when they make you break the silence, it is like they are thinking *oh I finally can manipulate her again* and then lead you from a mere argument to complete madness... in the end, they are chilling and smiling talking in a calm voice while you are the *mad crazy scary one*
@@gooddoctor9542They get supply when they see that you contact them first. It feeds their ego. They need you to need them. Stay faaaaar away from these reptilian demons. Stay no contact for life and live happily ever after without them✨💖
so the silent treatment? sounds narcissistic to me...
@@christianstill.6654It doesn’t always work that way. If you choose to stay with the narcissist and they give you the silent treatment, sometimes you just have to ignore them.
The only way to take control from a narcissist is to get yourself from their domain first. You wont be able to figure out anything until and unless you are out of the hellish world. I will tell you one of my favourite stories. Once a King was too disturbed by everything that was happening around him. He felt as if no one was loyal to him and he was always afraid of his kingdom being attacked by perpetrators. He lost his sleep and his life had become hell. So he thought of taking a brief sojourn in the countryside. He passed through lush green fields and picturesque landscapes. The silent breeze that brushed through his hair filled his heart with joy. That is when he saw a farmer who was putting fence around his farmland. But his farmland had weeds all over and they hardly had any crops. This intrigued the King. He asked the farmer as to why was he putting a fence around the farm when the farm itself was covered with weeds. To this the farmer said that the farm was his own so he could get rid of the weeds whenever he liked. But he cant stop the stray dogs from running over his fields and destroying them. That is why he was putting the fence. To stop the stray dogs from venturing into the field. Once he was very assured about the security of his fields he can work on clearing the weeds and planting crops. On hearing this the King somewhat got the answer which he had been searching for. The human mind is also like the field. You cant control assholes from fiddling with your mind or saying bullshit. But you can definitely put a fence ( figuratively) so that these assholes cant influence you. And until and unless you dont put a fence you can never work on yourself. Once you have distanced yourself from toxic people then you can work on the healing process. Same is the case with narcs. Narcs are these stray dogs who suck your energy emotionally. They play mind games for fun because their mind wants melodrama. They hurt the very people who love them. So total isolation from these narcs is absolutely essential for the well being of your Mind. Once you are out of their mind games you can take decisions rationally. Narcs try to drain you emotionally. So everytime you respond to their low vibrations you tend to come to their level. But when you react confidently without panicking and without responding to their negative vibrations that is when you Win. When someone realises that you arent being influenced or being manipulated by their actions they will get tired of it. And after cutting them off completely from your lives you should work on your healing process. Work on clearing your mental clutter and keep yourself preoccupied. Read books and most importantly try to find your Purpose in life. When you find your Purpose you will be able to bear any pain in this World. Most importantly help others in need. When you find someone else who is stuck with a narc help them to get out of that. I feel this is the way to take control from a narcissist. P.S: I hardly find people around me who know about emotional abuse. But I think everyone should read and know about it. In today’s mean world you will find a lot of people who try to influence you or demoralise you using the sweetest of words. Its about identifying these covert manipulators and distancing yourself from them. I have immense respect for people who have survived narcissistic partners. They happen to be the most strongheaded and emotionally stable people you can come across. I learn a lot of things from them. Truly the broken will always be the most beautiful. Moreover, People wonder why they end up hurt, seriously hurt, and even killed for their own actions. Cheating is a choice and there’s simply a lot of ignorance in the process.... Thank you so much for helping me out Barryinvestigation@gmail. com. Your advice and services helped me so much. You are a lifesaver !!! The information you gave me about my cheating partner when you gave me access to his phone was everything I needed to get,.. thank you very much..
Great comment
Thanks for the story!
For those of you are saying not to play the game. We live in a VERY narcissistic world. So you have better equip yourself with some tools that will help protect yourself. You can’t run and hide forever because these type of ppl are everywhere!
Thank you for saying this - I thought that I was just some kind of narcissist magnet.
No contact is the only way to go.
They are EVERYWHERE! They LOVE positions of power! So if people think they can ignore these types of people still are kidding themselves. They are your city managers, majors, cops, doctors, etc. They hold extreme prominent positions BECAUSE we have ignored them and walked away. They will destroy our communities
Exactly!
Yes, they are!
In normal world yes. I agree. Otherwise you'll lost your whole life.
In relationships, with partner, friends or family definitely yes, - NO CONTACT! Otherwise you'll lost your whole life
The best revenge is to walk away, get help, improve yourself for yourself and live a happy life enjoy the small things everyday. Love & light to all survivers of narc abuse ❤️
Thank you so much.
Facts
Thank you I’m healing and my life is better now that they are not here anymore. 🤷🏽♀️
As the daughter of a narcissist mother, it is the most difficult and painful experience of my life.
Me too. I'm the son of a Narc mother. She's gone, and i'm older. Still have wounds, but getting better.
I'm going through the same. You are not alone.
Mine is extremely that way hun.
You're not alone, love. ❤️🩹
Same here. Slowly disengage yourself emotionally and psychologically from her. Your life is your own. Slowly see her as a neighbor and then a stranger. It takes time. Less communication starves their narcissist behavior.
Detaching yourself and letting them go is the best way to get rid of them.
Oh yes & you send them packing
And pray they agree to go. Removal from your world does not remove you from theirs.
Have no mercy or sympathy on the narcissist whatsoever.
🚫 BLOCK them, ignore them, no contact at all
Yup
hard as a child
thats dont work buddy they end up gettin unblocked
and post Subliminal messages for u to see em role playin a victim then Provoke a reaction outta u to going back and forth to blocked again u can always unblock to cycle i hate it
You have to go through family Smfh I need this info
The worse thing you can do to a narcissist is “no contact”. Anything else is still giving them some control of your life and they’ll take that as a win.
Yeah but they still don't care in the way that a normal person would. They just move onto someone else
@@80sbaby90 Yes and then we don't care. Thats the whole point. They were never in it to begin with, they need to be given Oscars for their performance, its the best you will ever see in your life. But its not real.
@@80sbaby90 I don't think u understood what Richard said about reducing their impact on your life destroying their narcacisstic self image. If u did, u wouldn't be saying this.
I don't agree. .
Not with me 😂😂😂....I think I got my closure after he tasted his own medicine and than no contact 😂😂
REMEMBER Your misery makes them happy... Ergo your happiness will make them miserable.
So.. Please.. Get well. Move on. Find yourself. Find True love. And always remember this.. You are a beautiful person with a big beautiful heart and you are loved more than you will ever know.
Love from Scotland x
Thank you ❤
@@RobinGreen-b2p your very welcome ❤️
I soooo needed to hear this. Thank you❤
@@ceedee9669 your very welcome. Good luck on your journey x
i only started being loved once i escaped my 'family' home. ive been physically free for 10 years now and had hours and hours and hours of therapy. since becoming a mother, i realised how much my mother failed to protect her kids... she blames suspected adhd on why she didn't do anything. once i have my second child in about 3 months, i can allow myself to deal with that stress and put shit right once and for all. my mother allowed my dad to abuse my brother and her, then she allowed my brother to abuse herself and me, sadly that's barely the tip of the ice. you message... worth more than white gold to many many people.
What I've learned from dealing with narcissists is that you should understand their behavior and don't play or go into battle with them. Unless you are ready to consistently think and act like one, it's mentally exhausting trying to beat them at their own game. You have to change your way of thinking while this is their whole personality. Ignore, get some distance, and just live your life.
And dont let them get an emotional rise out of you. They feed on that. It makes them feel powerful. Inside they are all very fragile little children and they know that and fear that everyone else will know it. When one starts talking to you (assuming you are not in a relationship with them) train yourself to think about something else while they are talking. Even if it is 'I wonder if there are any interesting articles in that magazine on the table over there.' And while they are talking completely ignore them and walk over and pick up the magazine and thumb through it and get immersed in an article. The ultimate gray rock.
Do not have any contact, move and you hopefully will never see them again. I have gone as far as deleted my FB account. New life for me finally, minus alot of loved ones but no choice. My loved ones chose him when I was paralyzed. No loyalty lost.
Agree! You have to completely disengage from them
Leave them to psychopaths to toy with
Really, what a waste of time. People rarely change.
The best thing I've learned on how to deal with narcissistic people is to not engage them in anyway. Pretend that they don't exist. If you see them around and they talk to you. Pretend they're not there. If they call you, block their number all their social media accounts. If they talk to your friends or family about you tell you're friends and family you're not interested in talking about them, they will tell them on their own the next time your name comes up with the narcissist. And the most important thing I've learned is don't give them ammo. Do not vent about them, do not say anything about them and don't say anything nice about them either, do not say anything that might validate their feelings if it were to get back to them. Do not engage, do not vent, do not validate. You're strong and you will break away from this person. You got this.
Kind of hard for me to do this when it's my mom and she recently moved in cuz of being disabled and it's torture lol
@@Misguidedaliengamer I can imagine this is very difficult, I'm sorry you have to live this way. Is it your home?
@@Misguidedaliengamerput her in a nursing home if you can afford it!!!!
In short:
1. Silent treatment.
2. Be critical and look down on them.
3. Become ideal and perfect.
4. Turn off your empathy.
Bottom line: just become a narcissist yourself 🤣
😂😂😂😂😂
Yeah that's awful. 😢
😂😂😂
You just outed yourself lol
You have no understanding.
I finally divorced my narcissistic wife and threw her out. I put her on no contact almost a year ago. I can tell you after going through a lot of pain and trying to think of ways to repay that pain to her the BEST thing I did was let go and move on. Once I stopped fighting back and focused on ME and getting ME better and moving forward and improving every area of my life her rage and pain was evident. MOVE ON. Trying to get payback actually feeds them. They are EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES. Starve them. Give them nothing. Shut them out completely and move on and the better your life without them the more enraged and pained they become. Someone once told me, "Each of us creates our own hell. Let them burn in theirs."
Amen ♥️
Thank you.❤️🙏🔥✨
AMEN 🙏🙏🙏
U r right man.
Perfect!❤️
Be careful if exposing them to their supply...narcissistic rage is crazy.
Yeah, gotta take precautions and use their own tactic of well-poisoning against them
Though this time around, you shield the well in advance from their poisoning, aka make sure they find out way late or preferably last about getting exposed so they can't spin it around anymore. Garner with evidence, voila - the narcissist lost footing with all but their most gullible piglets (aka the ones giving him the least amount of sustenance) and will experience ANGUISH. From which they will hopefully learn about humility and not to become even more covert and finessed on their next try.
The trump court cases are going to get interesting
@@johnsteel5347 It was interesting that JB goes to Hawaii and talks about almost loosing his Corvette.
So when someone gets into a fight and is angry because you hurt his feelings, you will call him narcissistic? Think about that.
@@darkizofficial facts don't care about feelings
Being happy is the main thing that makes them angry and upset. They hate to see other people happy and doing better than them because they are miserable people.
Yes!
I'm fact, she was so miserable that she could barely stand being in the outside world, and if she was, it was to tell me if someone paid her a compliment on her looks that day or if her coworkers or boss had been a-holes.
I always tried to come up with shared activities but there was no way to make her actually happy. There was something wrong with everything and she had to rush so she didn't lose her other supply that gives her money.
this is the true root cause. you are right.
The way you win is to literally not give a shit and focus on your own life. They become irrelevant. All this stuff is just giving them more energy and keeping YOU in the game. Total waste of your own time and healing. I know a narcissist that hurt me deeply. Today, I could give a shit what they think, what they are doing or who they are doing it with. I never, ever think about them anymore. GAME OVER.
Exactly, no contact till I die, going on 6 yrs in 2023,life is excellent 👌 for me 24/7.
Awesome, thank you very much Richard . Spot on mate .
What are you going on about? You're watching a video on how to torture a narc, you then talk about how you couldn't give a shit & never ever think about them anymore.. Are you sure? Just that you go around posting about it says you still think about them.
@@TenableVegan I actually don’t and haven’t for over two years. I rarely watch content on this subject matter I just haven’t unsubscribed yet. When I was in the thick of it I was subscribed to all the content and was totally obsessed. I honestly, Hand on heart have healed. It took me years. And it’s a process and the ONLY way to get over it is no contact. After a year of no contact it’s all over in your mind.
@@TenableVegan Yep! They never ever think about them yet here they are telling everyone about them!
Success is the best revenge
thats bollocks. the more success the baby mother sees, the more money she will try to con out of you.
THE GREATEST SUCCESS FOR ME N MY SONS IS STAYING TF AWAY FRM HIM😈HIM SEEING WE NEVER NEEDED HIM
@@suncity22001wow.. you have trauma… if child support goes up just ask for an itemized bill to see everything the money is spent on, just make sure you get it in writing and have a lawyer sign off and be a witness or have it done there in court. Simple, not sure why y’all make things complicated for yourselves emotionally, mentally and financially.
@Melanin2670
Salute! 💯💯❤ They want children, but they don't wanna pay at the end. Everything is money nowadays because bills, foods & etc. What dumb MF don't want their children to ride in a nice car, have the best clothes, shelter, school & etc??! It's time and energy ✨️ Stay GREAT, beautiful!! Bless you & your children. Safe journey. 🙏🙏🙏💜💜💜
@@suncity22001 were talking about narcissists not relationships with narcissists
As someone with a narcissistic mother, it honestly hurt to hear you say that you just have to accept the fact that you never had a parent. I've always wished I had a normal family, but the older I get, the more I realize that you can't reason with someone who has a warped sense of reality and self.
Same. It's a bitter pill to swallow.
My mother is a terrible narcissists and only gets worse the older she gets and never believes she is wrong or needs psychological help. Unfortunately at a young age and through the years I was subjected to verbal alcoholic mental abuse. I had parents that would fight constantly never once seeing them loving or affectionate to each other. Either through genetics or exposure in that environment I have found that I have narcissistic tendencies that have wreaked havoc in my personal life, with friends, teams, jobs, and worst of all my marriages. Unfortunately for me my first wife was also a narcissists so we just made each other so miserable by the time it was over I was worse off than I had ever been before meeting her. I had no idea what I was or even realized till years later what my ex was but we did it to each other during our short time together. It was my next wife of 12 years that broke my heart and made me realize that I had problems. She is the greatest person in the world and I just couldn't show enough love or give her the time and help with the kids. I would get selfish and lazy and even I got a second chance after an argument that almost ended us. I tried so hard to be who she wanted me to be. It lasted a while and then I would just slip away again without even realizing it. I would catch my self here and there and would do my best to make it up to her when I would notice I was slacking. I even would go couples and therapy on my own to try and figure why I kept hurting her even when I felt like I wasnt. But I was. I just couldn't keep up I would miss cues and signals more often. I was in my on little world oblivious to those hurting around me.
My marriage might be over now and all I feel is shame and the fear while trying to tell myself I want her to happy and healthy without me. I still love her and daily I have to fight the hurt anger and rage I get towards her in moments of quiet reflection that I dont understand.
I know Im not a total narcissists or else I would be completely unhinged but do have fight panicked urges to beg for forgiveness I dont deserve. But it hurts on the other side too, for people who didn't cheat or lie to their spouses and thought that was enough. To not know or understand the mental burden or strain I put my wife under even though she was begging me to see it and I just couldn't change. Its heart wrenching because I do love her but I just cant be her person because Im broken and breaking her.
I fear for my daughters having this if its genetic. I see it my sister and her daughter. Its a horrible nightmare I wouldn't wish on anyone much less it becoming a painful family tradition. I try to still seek help to change and better myself through therapy. I want whats best for my kids and my wife. To stay in our house while I leave. The worst part is I still have pay a mortgage and wouldn't be able to get an apartment so I would have no choice but to go stay with the one person who made me this way "My Mom". For the sake of my familys health I'll do it but I fear it may be very bad for me when it comes to making progress in trying to change in that environment. Sometimes you just have no choice but to be doomed.
This was a great video!
It’s ok to grieve. If you can be an amazing parent to your kids that can help you heal and reparent yourself.
Same here. Both parents. It was awful. I've gone no contact with both for over 10 years. It's the only way to deal with Narcissists in general.
I’ve noticed how much social media has promoted narcissism. It’s frustrating to see how many people keep giving narcissists attention and keep feeding them.
So that people can learn how to deal with them (ie not deal with them). The damage they do is profound.
Social media and social networks reward narcissistic behavior and help feed narcissism - especially the networks where "performance", shallowness, perversion and superficial "peacock" behavior are placed on a premium - Instagram, TikTok for example - social media companies earn their ad revenues through thousands of narcissists who "peacock" (These narcissists also bait millions to click, like, engage with them and use them for personal supply and professional gain)
But real life is different from virtual life - that's where these "peacock" narcissists hoard victims for abuse - away from social media.
The need for videos (like the one we are commenting on) is a way for survivors of narcissistic abuse in real life to be able to identify their personal challenges and find support and help in the company of others like them. This is the only positive outcome about social media and being online.
Narcissists thrive by isolating their victims and breaking their will but when the victim becomes a survivor, the survivor still has to learn to re-integrate themselves back into society, find new friends, find support groups, get closure, heal and move on. Counseling, therapy and support groups, forums and empathetic online friends can help accelerate the healing process.
That’s not the purpose. They aren’t watching these videos. They think they know everything already.
@@RumiLoves
She or he was referring to the vapid influencers on social media. Not this helpful information. :)
Do you honestly think a narcissist will sit down and watch this? They don't have time for such
I have a brother in law that hated it when I started ignoring him at gatherings. He had the nerve to tell my husband to make me speak to him. Lol. Husband responded that I didn’t trust him because BIL always lies and makes stories up. He lost his mind. We still don’t talk to him 20 years later. What a peaceful life.
Golden. I figured this out and use it 9n my brother and little sister. He's a damn crazy psycho and she's a little bitch. I have 2 more brothers that know this about them two. We all agree and have a plan. They'll be sorry. I'm only around them because of our elderly parents for now after that, they'll never be in my life. Freaks. I can't believe we're related. They'll be jailed or something. I travel with my husband for his work and never home. Never. I plan on getting rid of my cell phone which I can't wait. They couldn't find me with GPS. They can rot in Hell
The fact that your husband knew your stance so well and stood up so perfectly is actually glorious to hear.... would love to have seen that !1
I dropped my emotionally abusive gas lighting brother over 20 years ago. Not long ago, he personal dropped a letter in my mailbox asking how I was. He never acknowled not one of the many things he did to me. He ended the letter with, "After all these years, the least you can do is answer this letter"...that line confirmed nothing had changed; my life has been peaceful without him and his family .
I’m working on the healing process to become a super empath.
My question is how to deal with a narcissist that you cannot completely go “no contact” and simply just remove from your life?
Unfortunately, this is someone I will have to associate with at least a couple times a year (this is my sister in laws husband ). My wife really loves her sister and her sister is genuinely a good person, but had the bad luck of marrying a narcissistic jerk.
This person has repeatedly shown a pattern of unacceptable narcissistic behavior not just to me but others.
I have stood my ground a few times which led to fights, gas lighting, but dealing with this constantly is frustrating. What’s even more frustrating is I have never been able to talk to my in laws or sister in law openly about this. They don’t like taking about these things and neither does my wife. They realize how he is and just accept it and try to ignore it. But for me ignoring it is very difficult.
I am regularly just thinking of all the things this person has said done and keep thinking what will happen the next time I have to see him. Keep think of scenarios and how I must respond to him. Keep thinking of things I should have said but didn’t because I bit my tongue. It’s very exhausting.
Any advice?
@@openworldgamer2156 figure out what is your priority; your mental health and quality of life, or giving into a person(s) who expect and insist you accept unhealthy abusive behavior. If you choose the former, be ready to let those people go. I chose a long time ago not to bother with anyone's bs and I've never regretted it.
This is the single best advice: Reduce their significance in your life. The sooner you do this, the more you disempower the narcissist(s). Don't empower the narcissist by focusing on them (they are just a distraction). Focus on you and being the best version of you!
Thank you
The best way to deal with a narcissistic person? Don’t!! Recognise, remove, recover!!! 💕
Not always possible. Could be your boss or a co worker or family member or other parent of your children. Even your adult child's parent or in laws
@@louise2091 Hi 👋🏼 yes you are correct, they could be your boss or your parent. You do have a choice as to whether tolerate abuse. I’m 7 years no contact with parents and family, I’m self employed too. The choice is yours. It’s not an easy choice but it’s a very simple one. Trust me when I say, they do not change. Ask yourself, in 5 years what will my situation look like? If you want more of the same , stay as you are. If you want change, be brave, let go 💕. Yes they have enablers who gang up on you, however if you have children, ask yourself, how do I want my children to see me? Do I want to be a shining example, or, do I want them to witness me being abused?
@@louise2091 You can still disengage by not allowing them to trigger you. You can deflect their abuse by refusing to show an emotional reaction to the crap they dish out. They distract easily. Don’t focus on their crap. Change their channel. Dial down their noise. Read up on cognitive dissonance. They provoke because they can’t bear to think of how they would handle it if you weren’t available to them. Feel sorry for them because they have zero insight. Emotionally they’re still 12 or 13 years old with barely intact egos. Like he said, there’s splitting. Fractured reasoning. Flat out disconnects that were a lifetime in coming.
I know this. But it's my mother and my daughters father and I get upset when they mess with my children, who have enough to deal with! But I know all of this but find i still have feelings to deal with. I'm no contact with my ex and imagine my mum is just a little girl who doesn't know better. I'm 62 and find I still crave to be seen and heard despite knowing that this is impossible. Thank you for your reply
@@louise2091 Absolutely, it's my in laws, it's extremely difficult 😔
These videos are great because Empaths seldom get news or updates after they've gone No Contact and this information shows and tells just how bad these Narcissists were fried in their own hogfat...
The narcissist above all else wants to matter. the more you ignore them, the less you're bothered by them, the more you win. don't let them matter.
When you lower yourself to the same level as a narcissist, 9 times out of 10 they beat you with experience. Devalue their effect on your life, gray rock them, or go no contact. Heal yourself and move on.
Dont wrestle a pig ; you both get dirt but the pig enjoys it
Speaking your mind and unload on them to call them out for the evil they have done against you....is most definitely not putting yourself to the same level.....
can you explain? in details, what does 'lowering yourself to their level means' pls
Yip, never wrestle a pig - you'll both get filthy and the pig will enjoy it.
@@peterwheeler4402 my ex narc taught me this.,.but what if you enjoy it too and not just the pig?😸😸😸
Living well is the best revenge.
Just walk away and stay safe 🙏 ✨️❤️Don't start to play games - keep yourself safe - break free and enjoy the rest of your life in peace ✨️🙏❤️
I often overheard my narcissistic brother on the phone, but I never said anything because I still didn't realize what a narcissist he was, so I played along. When I finally figured out his game and he turned on me, I started exposing some of the lies that he told to people, things that he never wanted anyone to know about. He soon stopped fighting with me out of fear that I would expose more of his BS that he didn't want anyone to know about. My life has improved enormously.
Out of five siblings, I’m the only one who doesn’t entertain my narc brother’s 💩. And I’m the only one he and his wife defriended on social media. Good riddance!
Now this is the best way to get them to leave you the heck alone. Worked for me like a charm
@@larrycarl -lucky you-
I was the "truth teller" meaning, I didn't go along with the lies to get money or to avoid being ostracized by my mother. I am sorry for her. I did want her love but I needed to realize that people can never fill the hole in your heart, God can though and this is what saved me. learn to nurture and mother yourself so that you attract a better situation to yourself. look at life as a mirror of something you need to give yourself. if people reject you, look at where you might be rejecting yourself or devaluing yourself. they can't do it to us without our having done it to ourselves first. forgive yourself and learn the lesson, God is all there is, really. if we attracted broken, dysfunctional mirrors to ourselves, see how this shows us our "shadow" or hidden thoughts about what we believe we are worth. It is not holy to suffer, God does not want this. we do not have to "earn" God's love, we just have to surrender to it. God bless you.
Exactly! Exposure is their kryptonite! No contact is our defensive moat.
Experienced divorce lawyer here. Great video! I hope this video reaches people BEFORE they get tangled up with a narcissist. Stay safe out there! Vet very carefully and for a long time before considering marriage. Divorcing a narcissist can be extremely stressful and very expensive.
Did you ever have the situation where your own client was the narcissist?
💯 my ex dragged me through 3 different courts making false allegations! They are so vengeful if you don’t want them back! Used kids too.
I wish I could go back…I did not see it coming and didn’t take my time :-(
@@reinmarvonzweter666 Great question. The answer is yes.
divorcing them is stresful.. that is an understatement... particularly when your lawyer and the courts ignore you and feed the narcissist..
Being with my ex narc for the past 8 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I hired a private detective Metaspyhub@gmail. com. Once I knew what the narc was up to, it got easier to get over that lying, cheating, sack of doo doo, loser. I didn’t need closure from the narc, I paid for it. Best money I EVER spent!
I was reading your comment and i literally saw a mirror of myself... My -until two days ago- boyfriend kept telling me that his married ex girlfriend loves him more than i do and that she would do anything for him, but he doesn't want her...two days ago she went to his restaurant with another dude , he had locked the door and when i showed up , dead-tired, just to see him and listen to him all night talk to me like i am good for nothing, he told me that he won't open for me, because i slammed the door at him the previous morning, like THAT'S unacceptable!!😂 We ended up fighting really rough and he said i'm toxic and he doesn't want women like me in his life....
They are barely human!
Barely human is the nice word. They will try to upset and destroy you on purpose and walk around like they did nothing
@@youareloved8274 all the time and every time. We all have to remember this about narcissists. Especially the covert ones. They are always and forever trying to emotionally manipulate us and get us to feel sorry for them.
The covert ones are also especially notorious for this.
The best move is to move away from them. Drop them focus on yourself don’t play games there’s no need for revenge.
Yes thank goodness for Bitcoin
They're not going to change so yes, it is best to just move on. They have a disorder. Let them be someone else's problem. I don't have time for playing games. They will never be happy anyway.
They will face their karma & it's a rude awakening for them
Bear in mind that psychopaths and sociopaths also contain narcissistic attributes. Safer to cut off communications with the psychopaths and sociopaths than challenge them.
Yup
Absolutely. This video is off. While containing a lot of truths .. who’d want to make someone suffer purposefully and torture them .. beside a narcissist.
All psychopaths/sociopaths are narcissists, but not all narcissists are psychopaths/sociopaths.
@@marsaeilletrue
@@marsaeilleagree it is very unhelpful
1- be happy. 2- be strong. 3- mock and laugh at them when they are evil. 4- make sure they KNOW you hate them for being evil. The end. Have a nice day.
Narcissists aren’t evil u dum dum.
😂😂😂 the best advice.. they will die inside
🤣🤣💯
Nr. 3, 4 They are eager for attention wheater it is good (laugh inside being evil is what they do !) or bad (hate). The best to do and feel is indifference and have a good life.
🤣🤣🤣
My so called friend, who was extremely narcissistic got absolutely furious with me when I had no interest in competing and playing her games. Some people you just have to walk away from...so I did, in a peaceful manner 🚶♀️✌️
Upsetting narcissistic people is really easy. Not triggering them is the hard part.
Facts. Anything you do or say that makes them feel shame or feel inferior will be seen as an attack against their false narrative.
Correctamundo!
How to trigger a narcissist- be yourself. Best to get far away as soon as possible.
they already idiot in the first place. Its the truth. Should had stayed in their lane tho.
Sometimes they come home pre-triggered. Then they have you to take it out on.
1.reduce their significance
2.challenge their false self
3.Go to therapy
4.Mess with their supply
Thanks,my narc ex came back everytime only to further mentally destroy me!
@@Angel-pv8lg Block them completely and repeatedly if necessary.
1. Go no contact.
2. Go to therapy.
The other two are bad advice.
@@xrotarebil yes blocked him already,he is a player for him screwing girls is nothing,for someone like me who is loyal and genuine it feels very bad and depressing to have associated with like dat in past!
The DENNIS system.
They can smell kindness :( my heart hurts. I’ve learnt not to expect anything from others now. A lot of people only seem to think about themselves. Protect your energy guys. Don’t lower to their level and take from it knowledge and strength. X
You're right!
I am on a journey of 1.setting clear boundaries, 2.self love and 3.working on things that attract me towards me. It is all to do with mind. The first two are also in them. As empaths we have toxic traits that harm us. One needs to understand if doing good will bring joy into life or we are simply doing it because we are told to do this. Example: identify the things you LOVE to do and Identify the things you are "suppose" to do. The things you are suppose to do are usually draining us so we must bring joy in them and do them FOR OURSELVES WHEN WE WANT TO. Similarly we believe "what will others think of us" when the timw comes to leaving and they too think the same but in the initial stages. So this is WHY we become the perfect piece of the puzzle :)
Master your emotions & create as much distance & total silence forever is the perfect revenge!
I used your advice. And let me say it absolutely works.
My narcissistic ex tried to bring me down. But this time I stayed absolutely calm and responded in the same cold and "I don’t give a F” way.
I just said. Sorry to hear you feel that way, but you are entitled to your own opinion. But regardless that won’t change me from having a wonderful day. Bye.
Let me tell you. She went absolutely mad and called me all sorts of nasty stuff. I just waited and after some time I replied.
Hope you are done, and again that’s your opinion and have a nice day...
Then she began to respond with victim card oh and how I could be so cruel and she needed us to talk etc etc.
I haven’t responded. I’m actually just laughing now instead letting everything get to me.
So again thank you for the help. I have subscribed.
Much love and respect from Denmark. You just saved my sanity and life.
Cheers! 🇩🇰
Well done
So happy 4 u. Keep going. U got this! 👍
They have lots of tricks up their sleeve, mine tried victim, then humour, then threats, anything and everything to see what would stick. I went total NO CONTACT 5 years later he is still trying to get my phone number???? You are right it does work, but only if we work it.
Thank you for your information.
Its very sad that people you love turn out to be indifferent towards you, what a horrible world we live in.😞
Ye I also realised this when i was 15. My narcissistic father who always beat my mother and torture my mother by brainwashing from night 11 pm till next morning 4 am talking all shits about his superioty and blaming her as the cause of her unsuccessful own life .He also gaslight me and my brother all the time. We can't able to focus on studies. Now as I'm writing this today itself npd father was on his rage.we suffer this every minute as we can't assume when will they get to these.
Unfortunately it's reality
In some cases, they can be taught to revile you, especially if they're involved with a narcissist or two.
I noticed my mom was a nar when I was 12. It hurt until I was 15 and decided I had no hope in her being a mom and got on with my life. Now she's homeless and living at my house because I can't picture her homeless 😂😂 she wouldn't survive it
I am in a relationship with one who treats me awfully despite me giving my world to, sad we have people who we love and care for treat us the worst way
I think in time it will be realized that a narcissist is not only generated from abuse, it can also come from being overindulge as a child.
I totally agree. Narcissism seems to be a response to child trauma and attachment problems, whether that be neglect from one parent and over-indulgence from the other or whatever. This should create pity rather than a desire to torture, but not to the extent that you accept their behaviour.
@B. Clifton, I agree. Providing a child an environment were they are coddled, enabled, and rescued by the parents promotes the perfect opportunity for a child to become a "Golden Child" narcissist. An idol amongst the family. The child that is overly praised and cherished by the parents provides him/her the mindset that they are the special one and are held in high regard amongst their other siblings, because of a variety of reasons such as their attributes, birth order, accolades from school, friends, community recognition, influence, and reputation. The parents over accommodate and indulge the "Golden Child" with materialistic possessions that are not provided to the other children.
Abuse and neglect are not the only avenues for an individual to become a narcissist.
@@CharlieWhiskey549, Create pity for the narcissist? Please elaborate.
They choose to be like controlling a good person move on but their grudge choose to blame others for their own fault
True, my ex was the step sister so she was "unloved" but the sister was placed on a pedestal and fully supported even after being an adult, she's a different monster.
I had 2 narcissist relationships back to back. First was overt, second covert; but endured the same abuse. I’ve been single for almost 3 years. Worked hard in therapy for 7 years. Once you know who they are and what they “look” like, you realize there are a lot of them. I refuse to date anyone that shows multiple flags. I take my time, moving slow, saying no early and often, and I talk a lot less about intimacy and my past. I just keep it light and airy. Most of the men I meet, end up removing themselves. It’s a tough line to walk, getting to know someone AND having healthy boundaries, but it’s so necessary! Congratulations to all that were able to escape the roller coaster, and for those who are wanting to get out… there is hope and you DON’T need them!! It’s hard at first but not nearly as hard as staying with them.
I agree with you.. there are a lot more narcissists out here than is reported on with statistical estimates. The time is drawing near. I'm not giving him supply. I heard him packing up his things .. i think he is finally about to leave ❤
@nmc1859 You have a community behind you to help you thru this process. I don't know a single narcissist survivor that doesn't want to help a fellow victim. Be strong, be safe. We're here for you! 😊
@@nataliemarie1483Thank you for rocking your natural beauty.
@@nataliemarie1483Congratulation! Did counseling help you figure out why you keep extracting narcs?
😢
1. Know what triggers you.
2. Learn 📕 to let it go.
3. Gradually stop ✋ talking about them.
4. Stop 🚫 thinking about them.
5. Avoid them at any cost 💵.
6. Be aware of what you don't want.
7. Know why you want to be happy 😊.
8. Start living a life that makes you happy.
Excellent Advice, and just what I’m doing !
I like this. Especially #5 (this includes visual aid). Robert Greene has no clout here.
Yes get off the emotional roller coaster that leaves you exhausted all the time and easier to manipulate look at all their ask yourself did that really happen is that real
What if they turn your whole community against you and probably the whole world!, that's what it feels like because everyone is joining his game like if they were puppets and I the lab rat.
it's just a nightmare how now, he gets to wash his hands clean and let others kill me while he sits back and enjoys the show. Thank God for his protection or I would of turned crazy and probably shot the whole place up but I read what they did to Jesus and I learned from him.
He taught me how to love my enemy and pray for them, how to be brave , how to be patient, how to be loyal and stick to my word and how to be compassionate just like my father is compassionate. God let's the sun hit everyone just as the same amount as he does to those that follow him.
I need to know what I can do so people will stop living in that illusion or has the narcissist damaged my reputation forever?
@@ivannieves154 when I cut all ties from The narcissist I also cut all ties to their family and friends it's just a toxic environment sometimes you just have to move on start over and do you really think this person is turned the entire town against you or is that with the narcissist wants you to believe
Good Heavens. I am so grateful to have stumbled upon this video, raised by a narcissist and married a narcissist for 33 years, a marriage of drama and broken dreams. Today I am free to now live. Thank you for sharing. 💐(new subscriber)
Stay safe, but close the door hard on these people and don’t be afraid to tell anyone and everyone about it. They get away with their nonsense because no one typically says no to them.
Just run, and never look back! That's all you have to do! Blessings!
& you never want be around such persons ever again.
I do agree with you, but only if you can get away. I was married to one for 18 years and every time I tried to leave, or kick him out, he would cunningly manipulate the situation so that we stayed together. I am finally out, and living my best life.
It’s interesting challenging the idealized self of a vulnerable narcissist. It makes you feel like you’re being cruel but you know how cruel they were to others.
Or to you.
I'm sure you didn't self diagnose him
You cannot be cruel to a creature void of empathy. It's like feeling sorry for hurting a piece of metal by kicking it.
That's what people do when they are not acknowledged or recognised either in childhood or by themselves.
@ClaudKaKeiYeung check you for empathy.
Seeing so many people with the same experience here makes me feel a sense of belonging. In the East, knowledge is not widely available and life is so lonely.
Oh boy, tell me about it, I am from the East too, and was thinking the same like you, a sense of belonging with people who have gone through the same traumatic experience and understand what it is like dealing with a narcissist. Very thankful for such educational videos, you are not alone, God bless.❤
Be happy and forget evil people...waste of time
Never forget. Only forgive
I agree. I think it's hard for some when it's a close family member. People say "oh you only get one mother you should try to fix things."
#1 I didn't ask her to get pregnant not my fault or problem
#2 She has used me my entire life to just be her personal servant and fanclub
#3 has ZERO respect for me and my boundaries yet expects me to kiss her ass every moment of every day
#4 I have a daughter who needs ME, a daughter who my N mom is now trying to turn against me. Which will never happen. I have a true relationship with my girl. Even at 10 years old she knew I would respect her privacy and space and her opinions. She knows me and I know her better than anyone. She is now an adult and really a wonderful young lady. I couldn't be prouder AND I will protect her at any cost to myself. Including from her psychotic narc grandma.
I've had to learn that the relationship I THOUGHT I had was phony. My mom is fake and phony and will backstab anyone in a NY second if it benefits her.
What type of mother is in competition with their child. What kind of mother sleeps with thwir daughters partner? Not one partner BUT 2 that I know of. It's sick shit. She needs to be in a padded room. And it's not just me. After 33 years of marriage my father walked out on her in 2017 and went No Contact. At first I thought he was cruel. Now I am following his lead. Unfortunately my onky sibling died last September so my mom has lost her whole family. And if you ask her we are all cruel and mean and abusive. She cries abuse every 10minutes if you DARE challenge her or question her or tell her give me a second I'm busy. I cannot even count on all finger and toes how many times she called the cops on my father
@@MissManaged1001 Unbelievable!! You're so smart & strong for getting through all of that!! I'm grateful for people who teach & share or I would still be believing that I'm the crazy one. I'm also grateful that rough experiences brought me closer to the Almighty 🙌🏼🙏🔥
@Miss Managed This is almost my life told by you. If you do what they want you to do, you destroy yourself. If you don't do what they want you to do, you pay dearly.
@@evaelizabeth7785 I felt alone my whole life. Now I know why. SHE wanted me all to herself to kiss her ass.
It's so therapeutic to meet others like you who have been thru this. It's abuse in it's most insidious form
00:01 Reduce the narcissist's significance in your life
01:37 Let go of their significance and challenge their idealized self.
03:19 Understanding the power dynamic in the relationship is crucial.
04:51 Refuse to live in a dark and oppressive world.
06:34 Threatening to permanently damage their sources of narcissistic supply is highly distressing for the narcissist.
08:14 Narcissists distort reality to maintain their false self.
09:44 Narcissists portray an overblown image but are actually fragile and easily broken.
11:06 Narcissists often display false virtue signaling but may mistreat animals in reality.
Thank you! 🌹
This is one very honest , genuine, summary of the video.. the video was excellent.. and you got exactly what he said.
What if they're autistic and still do all the same stuff?
I did these steps (except threatening to expose them) not because I hated him and wanted revenge. I did them because I finally was able to love myself more than the narc. It took 40 years for me to get it. Once it all clicked the Lord leading me, I had the courage to leave. It's been over a year. I'm still being healed by God. I have recently been diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer and have more than enough on plate. I am now happy and free even with the challenges I face. Happy New year!
Hi, I know we’re strangers, but I want to reach out because your life experience touched me. I’m sorry you’re suffering. You’re not alone. I hope you have family who are not toxic too. I wish you well. Keep fighting! Have a happy Christmas, even if you’re experiencing joy at the most simplest of pleasures, like the sunrise. There are gifts everywhere for us to discover. I know illness steals so much, & it makes your world smaller. Do not let the seemingly insignificant pleasures & joys pass you by; embrace each one! 🎄✨♥️
Best to you in your healing on all levels, you deserve it!!! ❤️🙏💞
Jys I will keep you in my prayers. Im happy you had the strength to let go of the narc and lean on Him to give you more strength.
@@BelleOfAmherst thank you so much for the words of encouragement. Merry Christmas 🎄
@@lulumoon6942 thank you
I was best friends with a psychopath.
I always admired how calm he was. Cool and calm. He was a nice guy. Former preacher.
He always drove as fast as he could. Drove in the left lane.
He faked empathy.
He future-faked me all the time.
He betrayed me in the end. After 12 years of friendship.
I now realize that psychopaths want to see you beg. It makes them feel powerful.
He did the same thing to his ex wife. He abandoned her when she was pregnant with their baby.
He refused to help her. I now understand why she despises him so much.
He has no conscience. He lies to everyone. He steals every chance he gets.
If you meet someone who shows little emotion, watch out!
I agree, especially that last part. Don’t abuse the abuser. It to me seems like becoming the thing you hated in the first place. Don’t create a new cycle.
This right here. After a while, I wound up mirroring his abuse for my own sanity (more-so to feel ANY sense of justice), but it doesn't fix anything. It does not change the narcissist, they don't seem to notice and they just keep abusing or neglecting you, or doubling down on their abuse if you piss them off. It's not worth it. Literally the best thing to do is don't mess with it. Run. You wouldn't mess with a beehive. Think of each bee as one of the many ways a narcissist can and will hurt you. You are no match. Just run away.
I couldn’t agree more! I want more of love out in the world, not hate!
Recently read, or heard from legit source that 1 in 6 people are narcissistic
Absolute gold.
Stay relaxed and remember to breathe and keep on smiling. ☺️
THEN ESCAPE!!!
Revenge is sweet and absolutely necessary for the betterment of society. It is our fault that abusers feel safe to go around stepping on everyone.
yeah the good people have become to weak, cowardly and tolerant
They get aggressive an abusive once you challenge them or even insult them back...once you get away just stay away and act like they never existed
They’re all cowards just to let you know
My dad retaliates or tries to punish me in someway if I don't do what he says or I question his behavior. Even uses other family members against me.
@@James-bo1ox yeah that’s how it is
I've learned the best weapon against a narcissist is indifference, totally confuses them, and it's what you eventually truely feel anyway once you know exactly who and what they are. Having the knowledge and self confidence to torture them with mockery if they come at you is just a bonus.
E una din cele mai bune metode. Așa e, cu timpul vine natural.
The gray rock method.
@Frederick I'm not looking for advice thanks, that's an absurd statement, I can make a judgement call when there's a risk of physical danger but I'm not fear led. I know you mean well though
I wouldn't encourage anyone to play that silly game. Count your loses and leave. A narcissistic is a soulless being on a mission to destroy you. To waste time trying to play their manipulative games would cause you to lose yourself and even snap. I'd encourage people to cut them off cold turkey. Leave and cut all line of contact. That is how you win. CHOOSE YOURSELF and leave
Wouldn't dream of it!
I find saying 'NO' to their unreasonable requests works well enough.
True, but in their minds, the requests are reasonable and you are the one being unreasonable. Torturing people isn't the solution. Narcissists and slight autists (old aspergers) are being unfairly treated due to this internet wave mess that mixes things up and mistake them for psychopaths (ASPD) or pyschopathic narcissists (NPD + ASPD) who are intentionally evil.
The problem is in 4 hours you could cover psychopaths two times over in an informative video. Some of these hosts have 200 30min clips on narcissism and by the time you’d watched all what was said to do at the beginning has been contradicted 20 times by the latest.
The old who’s got “ the newest” fad.
It’s kind of scary victims guessing what the narcissist did to them.
I’ll let you in on a little secret. The hosts are not out of it yet or are they heal. They haven’t started new lives . They have started a RUclips channel. They aren’t in new relationships, traveling, partaking in hobbies. Nope they talk about narcissism everyday. Probably 4 times as much as they ever have, they haven’t left narcissism. Live and breathe it daily. Making a 20min daily video with the “flash new method “ that they haven’t used nor are they role models for how to start a new life with out narcissism. Why do you think they are addicted to releasing new content? Becuase when they don’t and they stop they have to face the battles they still have not overcome.
The best 1 is no contact till I die. Case closed. Going on 6yrs in 2023
@nightowl, You bet 👍 no contact forever and ever
It depends on if you are the primary target or not . Of course saying no to something minor ( to them) may seem to be the end of it but you have no idea if they are keeping tabs, contemplating another demand or doing something passive aggressively to seriously undermine you. This video is not really about just anyone with some narc tendencies but a narcicisst who depends on seeing you in misery to live - a higher end of the spectrum narcicisst.
Cut them out of your life as much as possible. Remember, the narcissist is pathetic and insecure. They will try to use other people to manipulate and get to you. The only way to take away their power is to not give them any.
I'm an apprentice in the construction world (plumbing/hvac) and this is a very fruitful video for handling a narcissistic boss
#1 is huge. HUGE. They will know if you’re acting and they will use this to further abuse you. You can’t be wishy-washy with it either. You cannot even give them an inkling that they are significant at all, or it won’t work. That’s why it must be authentic. I got so good at this that I had the narcissist tell me that I lacked empathy. I said “Well…maybe I do.” He said that I was cold and I just shrugged. My past interactions with that person would have been to defend myself to the ends of the Earth and provide evidence to the contrary. But….I truly don’t gaf if he thinks that now. I prefer that he does think that actually, so he’ll leave me alone. You need to get to the point of having nothing to offer them by way of emotion; good, bad or ugly. Save your emotions for yourself and the people you do care about.
Why even talk to this person then? I don't get it. You want him to leave you alone, yet you're talking to him. Seems counter-intuitive and perhaps a little covert-narcissistic.
@@sheogorathprinceofmadness2223 I’m not understanding if you’re just trying to overuse the word narcissist, but we have a child together. Unfortunately there are situations where I have to speak to him.
Anen
Distancing yourself from them is also by filling the cup with worthless information and then leaving.
@@sheogorathprinceofmadness2223
This response makes no sense... you really can't get rid of a narcissist in a few seconds and just ignore them.
This is amazing , my ex-husband was abusive in every way.
I treated him this way after i finally got away.
To take the power away from him felt better than I'd felt in a long time.
Love to all you survivers out there xx
# 2 can be very dangerous to try . They are smart and will pick up on that and torture you for that . I had this with a boss . I didn’t dare try it. She reduced everyone to tears and then had a mocking smiling when she got that response .# 3. I actually did and she resented it totally and came back at me .
*CRAZY NARCISSISTIC STORY* I had a motel room with a girl. (1 year together) We were living there for a month because we didn't have an apartment & I used to go to work & she'd remain at the room. Well, one day I came back after work around 11pm & she wasn't there. Her phone was off. Anyway, a bad storm was going on & the motels heat & power went out. The room was getting cold so I decided to take a nap in my car. I parked in a dark lit area on the other side of the building. (Away from my usual spot) Anyway, I fell asleep in my car & woke up at 6am to a text vibration. It was her. *"Hey babe, I spent the night in the hospital. Long story. Can you pick me up when you wake up?"* 😘 Just as im putting my phone down, I look to my left & cannot believe my eyes... Who do I see? Her!!! Standing 4 parking spaces over, smoking a cigarette between the cars, texting on her phone. The LAST person she expected to see at 6am on the opposite side of the motel was me. I rolled down my window & called her name, she looked at me like a deer in headlights. I said "..Why did you just text me to pick you up from the hospital..?" She said 😐 "hang on.." and drifted around the corner out of sight. I waited a few seconds then circled around the corner & she was gone. I returned to our room- She wasn't there either. She was avoiding me. Clearly she must've stayed the night in another person's room & she didn't expect to run into me. I caught her lmao. I assume her plan was to eventually get dropped off at the hospital before I woke up (usually 10am) & walk out pretending she spent the night & give me a sob story to cover her ass. The lengths psycho women will go to not get caught. 💯🥲🔫🤦♂️
Just wow 😮
that doesn't mean she's a narc. she could just be liar and a cheat.
It's hell on Earth when you've a child with one. Another 11 years of schooling where every single parenting detail is fuel for abuse. My beautiful boy is being used as a weapon. It's been horrendously difficult to navigate through. But I'm gradually learning & gradually healing.
Love & appreciate your sharing's bro. Thanks alot.
Hang on, it is rough.
The real hell on earth is experienced by the child. Because he or she chose none of this. Please don’t forget to apologize to your child someday in the future when they become mature enough to comprehend it all. Please don’t take this advice the wrong way. I realize it was an honest mistake on your part. But as a child of a narcissist father, trust me when I tell you: Your apology will go a LONG way. Make sure the timing is right. Preferably when your child is near adulthood but still very young.
@@finster1968 Cheers. I had a f*****g s**t childhood up to 17. Now I see I've created a gentle replica & similar patterns for my boys to grow up in. As I craved having a family so badly I've been a walking wounded target & connected with the wrong women. I completely love being a father though & my son's are the best part of my life. I adore them. Learning to navigate a minefield of constant narcissistic parenting doom is unbelievably painful torture though. Yes I experienced this as a child to. Thanks for chatting out your view.
@@taricklloyd5904 - Thanks for the reply. Same story here. But I took a very different path and decided not to have any children. So you’re probably a better man than I am. This wasn’t meant to question your judgement or your dedication as a parent. But it sounds like you already know that. Take good care of those boys and they’ll be loyal to the end. Best of luck to you.
@Finster it isn't our fault we fall for narcasist abusers
Another good scenario to mess with them is when they start projecting their toxic traits onto you and the things they don’t like about themselves quickly agree with them and walk away. For example, if they say they can’t stand toxic people, say I agree then say goodbye and walk away.
Haha. Sounds good but I'm thinking it will trigger them. Anyways almost anything will trigger them.. Sigh
@@veerakowlessar1353 so what. You gotta not care no more about their reactions. Reduce how much you care about them Getting angry. It feels awesome
@@moniqueaugustine8914 this is so true. My ex pulled all different tactics to get an emotional reaction from me once I started seeing who she really was. I started to move on and heal on my own, ignored her games while being physically away. She had the audacity to say that she had no idea why I was acting this cold and distant, I mean come on... she didn't do anything wrong! 🤡
After I announced the breakup (not my first try) I had to wait for more than a month to get my stuff back! Once she realised I am not bowing anymore she gave up. She never apologised. She never said "hey I know I messed up, I'm so sorry, please can we talk". No. She wanted ME to pursue her and work things out. Haha. What a poor soul.
😂😂 I've done this ... Recently...they will slam a few doors( same doors you barely hear open & close ), the same aluminum cans you never hear being set down will become the loudest thing you ever heard😅😅 and the sound of one being opened goes from almost silent to being popped open with such a force you would swear they were trying out for a Coca-Cola commercial, last but not lease they will all of a sudden start looking for something in those dresser draws that are opened and slammed 100+ times. OH! Almost forgot, when they know it's time that you usually go to bed, all the above mentioned continues with more aggressiveness then you could imagine along with pots & pans being hit together and an uneven load of clothes in the washing machine. 😅😅😅 That person stays out of my way now and as a roommate, I haven't seen the person but maybe 3/4 times in the last month.
@@veerakowlessar1353 it will trigger them for sure weather it’s a big or small issue. Now depending on the person maybe it’s wise not to trigger them, but in my case their games ran out and can not play in their fantasy world for my own sake and mental well-being. It wasn’t over night on how to deal with it, it took time.
Thank you Richard for this concise, easy to understand strategy to protect yourself from ongoing narcissistic abuse 👏 I am sure none of us will use this strategy lightly or vindictively, but there comes a time we do have to fight back and effectively PROTECT ourselves. And I know already that this is one way to do it, with these narcs. But seeing it put in 4 simple steps as you have is very helpful indeed. Bless you for this, and Merry Christmas Richard. 🎅 keep up the excellent work. None of us has the motivation to torture anyone, none of us are those kind of people, but the narcs abuse is relentless and damaging, and having a strategy to stop them in their tracks is vital for all of us. Peace and love to us all 💟💟💟🙏🙏🙏☃️☃️☃️
Living well is the best revenge.
Perfect words.
I have remained friendly and polite but stopped providing information that they can use against me and have only communicated online for months not face to face. It all helps me protect myself.
The problem with exposing them is that narcissists usually have everyone around themselves under their thumb of control. So when you expose them you actually are just setting them up to do the only thing they do when exposed, they “Burn” you and destroy your social life with everyone you love and care about that you share a common relationship with whether that be family, friends or even your own children.
Right I tried this and got attacked by his flying monkeys and i looked just like he portrayed me
In his lies.
I told my "friends" what a horrible abusive ahole he is, yet when I finally left him they all stayed friends with him!!! He smeared me and charmed them all!!! I cut contact with all our mutual friends!
Soo true
Its the entourage / Flying monkeys that they groomed and brainwashed into being their cheerleaders
Totally gullible sheep like fools
Thats what my mom tried to do. But the reality is I could care less. Im not dependent on other people. Plus I moved. Shes sick now. I refuse to let her bother me. My dad cutting her off shows her that I WON
The very first point he brings up on needing to be safe because of their rage just shows how EVIL the entity is you're dealing with
I 'outted her' publicly and she blocked me everywhere. THANK GOD. She was doing illegal stuff and the local community have shunned her. I'm good now.
Don’t get too complacent. I outed mine too, and so far, so good, but only fools think these people aren’t still angry that you humiliated them.
@@mallariculp3551Good point. She's vindictive. Appreciate the warning.
@@macraeolinger mine comes at me through other people… lies that I never hear until it’s gets around the neighborhood community. They all believe it because they only hear one side. They barely know me, but it’s small town-like. Eventually someone tells me, but it’s a fact in their minds by then. This last time, it was posted on the community FB, and the people who control it were allowing it. My return post, a while later… and taken down the same day, made quite the impact in its short life. The community was suddenly focused on HIM, all while I humiliated all of them through him. There has been peace for three years, almost to the day. He’s been gathering a new posse in that time. You know how you can just feel it in the air?
Your story sounded so similar to mine I just had to share. Mine is a neighbor of almost a decade… war started year one after being his friend for about 5-6 months, before I went no contact. (I took him down hard that time. Reduced him to the fetal position.). Everything was as clear as it could be made. Yet here I am, feeling something in the air, again, and again, ad nauseum.
They never stop unless you can get far enough away. Build your skills.
Godspeed.
Honestly I wouldn’t torture somebody with a personality disorder. Exerting strict boundaries is a way to ensure that I am safe and ok.
That's because you're not a bad person or unhealthy or toxic or whatever you want to call it. Lol
I wanted to hurt the narcissist when I first became aware that I had been dealing with a narcissist, and felt very resentful for all that had been stolen from me. I no longer dream of revenge by my hand. I now just trust that karma will prevail.
@@OlaDeen2018 Yeah, but why? What's that going to accomplish?
@csibi edit and you know this how?
the personality disordered NPD is a psychpath...he is talking about people who" behave" narcissistically
The last thing I said to my mother was: Why don't you just pretend like I'm dead? I haven't spoken to the narcissistic nightmare for over 8 years now and I feel better than ever.
You're my f*cking hero! This xmas makes 1 year for me. (and 3000 miles)
Good on ya. I didn’t speak to mine for over ten years and refused to say goodbye before she passed away. She spent her entire life trying to pass her generational curse onto my head and I wouldn’t allow her to do it. Meanwhile, she treated my younger sibling like a prince and he was so spoiled that he is out of touch with reality.
This life is hard enough without people who supposedly “love” us mucking it all up.
@@Job.Well.Done_01 I'm in the same boat. Same doomed delusional sibling treated like a prince. There is something comforting in knowing that we aren't alone in these situations. Wish you the best.
@@conservingcommonsense4980 thank you so much. I am always on the path of healing and self-love.
I wish to you all the very best!
@@jbird1012 Congratulations, and Merriest of Xmases!
The best thing you can do is ghost them. No contact. Never ever acknowledge their existence or that they even upset you. Let them eat a hole in their brain by chewing on why you disappeared. If you run into them treat them with neutrality no matter what they say.
Ghosting is the absolute worst thing you can do to a person who needs to be desired and needed by you.
The best time to Ghost them is when they think everything is going well not after a fight. They won't be able to make sense of it. Even when long after they "try" to replace you they'll still be obsessing over it.
Ghosting is not generally a good practice and is reserved for the cruelest and most dangerous people. Please don't do this to someone who does truly deserve it .
So true. 👍
Just to add… Some thing funny that I did… My ex and I wound up going to the same school and he told everyone he dated me. When anyone would ask about it I would say “who?!” And act like I never met him 😆
Ghosting is extremely cruel…
@@pennyjane9906 That shouldn't concern you unless your a narcissist. FYI narcissists are extremely cruel. Their victims must do what it takes to free themselves. No contact with a strategy is a great thing ... Unless you're a narc. 😉 Nice try with the ole guilt trip but it failed .
Yep totally! But i think that another huge fear they have is to be exposed cause their image is everything to them, so when you are safe make people know who they truly are, the Soldiers of Satan!!
Just get away from them - any form of relating will not really work - hard lesson to learn
Currently have a family member who I believe to be a covert/vulnerable narcissist. Honestly the best thing I found was once they're cut off and in no contact you simply just wash them clean out of your life, no point trying to stoop to their tactics or anything. They're the types to hold onto grudges for as long as they need to and usually they do so in order to justify their wrongdoings against you and as was said in the helpful video they will have a disproportionate reaction to your actions. As someone who loathes drama and conflict I don't have any time for that.
Eventually they just blow themselves up, metaphorically. But I wouldn't be surprised if it happens literally.
So if you believe someone has npd, it's appropriate to just go with that belief without actually knowing for sure and treat them a certain way thinking you are getting back at them.. even though you don't actually know if they have npd. You just feel like that person does and the actions affecting that person are justified.. you sure you aren't narcissistic?
If possible, you should gather evidence and present it to their peers. But only if the evidence is strong enough to make a very strong case. Otherwise, it'd just be gossip, which is ordinarily a pretty narcissistic behaviour.
Narcissists are children trapped in adult bodies. Do NOT seek revenge. Do NOT smear them. Do NOT interfere with their new supply. Go no contact completely and seek therapy for healing. (Don’t stay around survivor channels too long because they are more toxic than narcissists are)
Yeah it’s not a good idea for people to try and piss a potentially violent person off
@@dragginmedown Agreed.
Narcissists are damaged “children”….
Yes they want you to try to put them in time out they will never learn they will always be in denial. They will always be childish because negativity to me is a childish thing, so unfortunately you need to leave them be and ignore and move on with your life.
Ur comment r most logical and reasonable
"Their response will be disproportionate" 😆 ... The man has warned you!
You are currently unhappy, find/ do things that create joy, realize that the narcissist is actually a negative addition into your world and little by little walk further away into a happier life.
What do you do when the narcissist is your son
I haven't spoken to my narcissist in years...I didn't want to interrupt.
Priceless
😂. This is gold. I won’t interrupt their fantasy and goal of having to find a new supply and won’t interrupt my safety, peace and happiness.💪🏾🤘🏽
😂😂😂😂😂 YES!!
😂
I don't understand what's funny about this.
If you absolutely have to “deal” with a narc, I would recommend to keep firm bounderies, and keep your distance at the same time. As a second choose on how to deal with the narcissist I would recommend keeping firm boundaries and also to correct them every time they missteps, lie, manipulates etz. When your boundaries are not respected by the narcissist, you need to follow through with consequenses of bad behaviour. You will have your hands full going forward this way. When following through with consequenses to their “re”actions, you explain to the narc, that you are not one of the narc`s victims. You have no intentions of becoming one but will be a nuisance to the narcissist in a way that is irritating to him/her. This method is not risk free but narcissists will often choose the path of no or low resistance. This method is a time consuming path to chose. This route sometimes require more time than you would like to spend on these issues. You feel that distancing yourself all together would have been easier. That is however not always possible. Often there is no way to avoid him/her. You unfortunately have to deal with the narcissist because you are colleagues or close family. You must think through what you need the narcissist to respect and what arias of conflict you must pay extra attention to, to keep your integrity and to detect manipulative behavior. Be prepared and clear in your communication and stick to your guns. Try to stay under the radar as much as you can, even when this method is the best for you. A way that works as well is to play along with the narcissist and act like you agree with everything they do and say. This method works well until many people in the narcissists sphere do the same. When everyone agrees with the narcissist you are back on square one. The narcissist must have victims and this setting is no different. To go NO Contact is another good alternative and method, and is probably the best option when it is possible to cut all contact permanently. Additionally, That feeling when your partner cheated and you don't have the courage to leave him / her so you just death with the pain and live everyday asking questions about your worth. This pain is different from the cheating one_living and seeing him everywhere anticipating when him or she do it again. The best thing is to hire above private investigator Metaspyhub@gmail. com to help you spy on their cellphone remotely just like he did for me.
narc is dea
I would strongly disagree on the keeping the boundaries part because they don’t have or respect boundaries also you say to let them know when they break the boundaries but that does nothing In my experience because they do not care they will gaslight you and then you continue down the same path. Curious why you say the opposite?
If you focus on them AT ALL, even to create boundaries, then they've already won. The only way to endure a narcissist is to have enough narc traits of your own to not be bothered that they are trampling all over boundaries. Otherwise, just leave or have them removed. Setting up "boundaries" for them is just waiving a red cape in front of the proverbial bull, and they only have one emotional reaction set.
I've exposed them it got worse. I'm from Canada. What is your advice? Same here being bullied, mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for over 12 years. I've happened to be the top worker for 38 years and have never been suspended. These bullies are jealous and miserable people. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, I drink, I'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. The biggest mistake since they removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroyed my reputation. I will never quit to make these lazy bums ever win. If I decide to transfer to another hospital and may start mobbing me once again, I don't know all the new managers etc. like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. I will never let bullies try to control me from quitting. Never let these low life lazy bums win ever win.b
@@AnthonyManzioThe best thing you can do is ignore them.
The more you fight,the more they will pile it on.