how i knew that i was gay | accepting that i'm a lesbian
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- Опубликовано: 17 сен 2024
- This is my truth about discovering that I am a lesbian. If anyone is struggling or just need some words of encouragement.... just leave a comment so that we can all uplift each other. On a lighter note, do you guys like this kinky ponytail that I have in my head? I thought I'd try something different because I always just do a regular u-part wig.
Follow me on Instagram: @ayanafite
Inquiries: pr@ayanafite.com
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People be killing me when they say " I didn't raise a gay daughter/son." Well, you didn't raise a straight one. Lol
😂😂😂
Your comment is not true
@@wendyellis3738 it's not false either. Who you are as a person was created at conception. We don't have control over what we like.
@@wendyellis3738 only it is true
@@tiffineshah2357 parents often confuse telling someone how to be with raising them or teaching them. Also, they pretend as if they know you aren’t naturally just gay. It’s probably they fucking fault for stair stepping the kids. You thought the uterus was gone shoot out 2 normal kids back to back? 😂😂😂
The worst person to lie to is yourself. Because it literally stays with you 24/7 until you come clean with yourself.
Exactly
Yep
Those eyes are so round and expressive. They say so much on their own. Breathtaking!
I was just thinking that. Her eyes are beautiful and genuine. Eyes are a window to the soul ❣️
Same! I can not get over her eyes 😍
Yesss she’s just beautiful 💕
I like girls and guys but I love being alone more. 😩 It really is a tragedy. 😭
😂😂😂
Phew… I felt this
Same sis 😂
ME
Omg I felt this
I had no idea u were 30! I thought u were 20! I’m a new sub!
Welcome to the family!!
At least 23
STFUUU!!!! You 30 baby????? Goddamnnn we DONT CRACK. Like are you shitting me lmao , you are BEAUTFIL! So youthful! ( not that 30 is old ) but I swear until I read this comment I thought you were minimum 22
Me too lol
You're cute😍🇯🇲👍
When I seen 30 my mouth dropped! You look like you just graduated high school 😩😍
Awwwww thank you! ❤️
True. She’s got the most gorgeous doll face 🤩
hollywood teaches you that any woman over 25 is old and dried. In all honestly women don’t really start aging until at least their late 30’s. now there’s an exception like bad genes, if you smoke a lot or drink a lot. yeah you’ll definitely look old at 30 but if you do the bare minimum to take care of care you’ll be fine
@@biancadesousa It depends on your race/ethnicity too. Majority of Black people in general age slowly because of our melanin
It's because she has a baby face.
When you said that you "didn't see anything further with men other than sex" that hit me like a truck. I have always wondered why I could see marriage with a woman, not a man. Lotta stuff is clicking now lol. Thank you, Ayana! New subscriber and love your channel.
I LOVE how sturdy and settled you are in your skin.
Thank you! It took a long time to get here ❤️
Just know that God loves you no matter what anyone says.
And it’s really that simple! 😊
Maaannn I grappled with this for so long. Thank you for being so open about your journey, it’s kind of clicked something in my brain hearing you speak about how you thought something was wrong with you, how you still enjoyed sex with men and how ex’s would always bring up that they thought you were queer.
I am in this EXACT situation (though, tbh, I don’t really enjoy sex with men..its not BAD, just hollow not exactly satisfying). I always thought I was Bisexual (with a 90/10 preference for women lol) but I’m just recently coming to terms with the idea that I may have ended up in relationships with men because I was conditioned and socialized to believe that to be normal. That I SHOULD like men. My current parter (male) has come to me multiple times with legitimate concerns that he thought I would leave him eventually to be with a woman. We had a child together early into the relationship and have been together for like 7 years. I feel so stuck bc we are so entangled into each other lives, with a home, and a child, and cars in both our names and stuff like that. I have been wanting to jump ship for years, but he is a wonderful person and great father, and I’ve always felt guilty and selfish for wanting to leave him (and especially for a woman bc that’s like his biggest fear lol) Says “there’s nothing he could do to fix it or work on it…it’s just something he could never give me and that’s that”. This man has done everything right..provided for our family while I was getting my degree, fully committed to me and our family, treats me good, is thoughtful and kind and protective. There’s nothing bad I can say about him. It a tough situation and realization. But hearing you speak about your experience has really solidified my thoughts..that maybe I am just a lesbian woman who has gotten into a tough situation bc I thought I was the issue. My stubborn ass has been justifying it for years…having my son changed my hormones, my birth control messed up my emotions, my work was just so stressful that I was too burnt out to put effort into the relationship. Anything!! So long as it wasn’t “I’m a lesbian and there’s nothing we can do to rectify this anymore”.
Sorry for the novel. Been needing to vent it out, and your video was recommended so it felt like fate lol. I really appreciate the time you took to speak about this. Know that it has had great impact on at least one person watching
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
I read your whole novel lol. I feel for you because I went through the same thing. I just ended up leaving my boyfriend before he could get me pregnant. I understand everything you’re saying, but if you’re not truly happy, you should find someone that does. Your husband is probably a GREAT man….. that doesn’t mean he’s the man for you. If you don’t feel sparks, then he’s not your soulmate. And if he loves you (of course it’ll hurt him) but I’m sure he would want the mother of his child to be happy. Don’t just “exist” ….. go out there and LIVE. ❤️💕
@@ayanafite Aw, thank you…you are such kind and beautiful person. You are definitely right, and I’m hearing you loud and clear. 💜
Both of yall writing books! Lol😂
@@ayanafite . I ❣ "don't just exist, go out there & LIVE." Great advice, I 👏🏿 that I will be brave enough to take it one day.
Leave him or ask him to leave you.
He deserves better.
Wow, people are THAT bold to just ask personal questions like that?? You're better than me, because I wouldn't have been so nice! Anyways, glad you are able to be yourself and enjoy your life 💖
People have asked me way worse things
@@ayanafite People need to mind they business 😒 Keep doing you. Love your channel!
For me, I knew once it felt natural to be with a woman. With a guy, it felt forced. I learned early on (around 16) and came out around 17. I’m 32 and it feels amazing living in my own skin 🥰 comfortable with my sexuality. I always say “my sexuality doesn’t define WHO I am, just what I prefer” I also have no ill will against men either 🤷🏾♀️
Aww, I’m so happy for you 😊 I know I’m attracted to women but I’m still figuring out if I’m attracted to men or not. My gut feeling is that I’m not, but I’m open to the low chance that I am.
That was me until I realized I was gay
@@ima.m.1658 thank you 🥺 you will definitely figure it out. I would say, explore whatever comes second nature to you. If you find yourself gravitating toward women, trying going on a date with one to see how you feel. At least you can explore that interest if it’s there. If doesn’t work, that’s okay too 🙂
“I honestly felt like I had been wasting my time dealing with men”, Hunty trust and believe, gay men feel the same damn way 😂😂😂.
😂😂. The worst thing in the world is wasted time
😂😂😂😅😆
😂😂
I JUST CAME FROM YOUR HAIRSTYLIST VIDEO AND HAD NO IDEA YOU WERE QUEER, AND IM A FEMME MYSELF subscribed!!!!! It’s so hard to find representation (that isn’t white) but when you do ugh it’s the best thing in the world 🥲
Edit: literally I’ve known since I was a kid, one day I made little valentine cards for every pre-K girl in my class and my teacher trashed them cause I was suppose to make one for the “opposite gender” so I went behind her back and would make a card every day to give them to girls on the playground as a secret. Ugh I love my inner child so much lol and I really think heterosexual women are just jealous of how long we go, for them it’s like 2 minutes and for us it’s literally 3-5 business days 💀
I'm so glad you found me!! There's not very many lesbians in the beauty community
As an older lesbian who identifies as “femme,” it is refreshing to come across a RUclipsr who speaks a relatable perspective. So often, the focus is on those of us who “look the part” it’s hard to know where I fit in the community.
So, thanks for the representation.
- new subbie
Yes this is honestly what I needed to see, I am younger it is going to take time. Yes love yourself first and everything will fall in place🥺❤️
everything happens just on time
Thankyou for sharing this u have really comforted me and other women out here who are questioning atm💕
i feel sexually attracted to men and women but when i think relationships i look towards women like i could be with a man but it does not last very long at all. i have been in denial of my feelings for years (the internalized homophobia struggle is REAL) and hearing that u had such similar feelings makes me think maybe i am lesbian lol
And it’s not a race! You’re allowed to date around to figure out what you want and what you like no matter how long that takes. Just make sure you’re surrounded by love ❤️
I just love how you and Aimee vibe, if you don't mind can we hear about how the two of you met and some obstacles you two have faced together if not too personal. I really just love you both as an entire vibe.
I would love to do a video on that.
People are born gay it’s not a choice it’s who they are. To anyone who’s trying to hide their true self just embrace it and be happy💕 your family will always love you.
No one is “born” a sexuality.
@@lizali5588 So, people aren’t born straight
You can only lie to yourself for so long before it begins to manifest in self sabotage. Everything from eating disorders to poor personal and professional decisions...self hatred and even eating disorders. My brother struggled for years. All of the above happened to him and he was unhappy his entire life. He died unhappy. What two consenting do in their relationship is their business...and no one else.
I’m sorry for your loss 🥺
How old was your brother
I just want to say you are so gorgeous. I’m sure you get that all time. You don’t even look 30 at all. As someone who just came out last year. It’s still hard for me. Not all the people in my family know. I just couldn’t take losing more people. I’m kind of like you, I always knew that I like women but I didn’t act on it. Can you please make a video about your experience dating women, the things that you learned because I feel like it’s such a different world for me and I’m still trying to figure it out.
Never hide who you are. If they don’t accept you, there’s no way that they love you unconditionally.
AYANA , beside you being on TV and have famous father I could tell watching you on TV you are a real down to earth person. Your vibe and energy I see is very genuine
She's actually rude
“I could go without penetration” People really don’t understand this
It is NOT a necessity
Correct, not needed at all.
Girl I had no idea you were 30. You legit look like a high schooler lol. You'll look young forever😄 And you are just absolutely beautiful by the way😍🥰
That’s funny because I was the same. I’ve always wanted to date a girl but gave myself to men instead and had children and then my first encounter with a girl… I was in LOVE! but yet still dated men. I’m in my 30s now and I’m just now like, it’s time! I got to do what makes me happy and be with who I see myself with.
Girl I have been trying to explain how I felt for a while . . You hit the nail on the head
💕💕💕
I’m just saying I really wish I wasn’t attracted to men and I mean that whole heartedly.
Sometimes I feel the same way.
@@snickerdoodle212 why because you're not getting the attention you want? 😒
Ha! Ha! Ha! Sounds like you've made up you're mind.
I love 💘men
@@lindahines9380 no because as a woman, I feel I would understand my partner more. Men think differently from us.
Why would you come at me like that? Because of my profile pic? Rude. Smh
I'm 33....subscribed. I am pansexual and accept myself fully. It's great that you accept yourself fully...
I’m so glad! Welcome to the family 💕❤️
a man does not complete a woman nor does a woman complete a man, no one needs to complete anyone we are all complete on our own. people can COMPLEMENT each other and that is why relationships are a thing in the first place. thank you so much for putting this out here, god knows there are so many people that need to see gay people happy and thriving and living just like anyone else, especially black people.
Your very good at expressing yourself. You have great intellect. I never understood sexuality in this way until u explained your story. I now look at sexuality and sexual preference in a totally different way💯
Thank you for your honesty and sharing your experience.
Your bun is cute!! You worked it out!!
Thank you!!
I’m glad you dropped the video. So relatable for me.
😘😘
love the honesty in this✨
❤️❤️❤️
Your intro shots look Hollywood professional, now I feel out of the loop that I don’t know who you are
Lmao! Don’t feel bad. It’s from the tv show that I’m on.
@@ayanafite what tv show are you from?
@@Kayla-kd8ov Growing up HipHop I believe
@@Kayla-kd8ov growing up hip hop Atlanta
Whew, this story is very relatable to my sexuality journey. It feels nice though cause even the “what’s wrong with me” feelings when you don’t really feel much for men. That’s a whole thing in its self lol
With pride approaching. You should do a lesbi-honest series!!!
I wanna know. I feel like I relate so much to your story.
Are there lesbian girls out there willing to wait until marriage? 🤣
I'm terrified of getting my heart broken by someone who only wants to experiment
Reading this made me realise that I wouldnt mind waiting for a woman until marriage but I would be furious if a guy suggested something like that. (bc you know, i need to make sure id be able to tolerate him in bed before comitting) Maybe im gayer than was planned😂
I understand where you are coming from but you have to have standards and never settle for less as a lesbian Ik the whole experiment thing I heard it a lot even tho I’m a virgin and never kissed anyone before . Don’t be ashamed and wait for the right one cause it will be sooo worth it
Love this conversation and how you shared how you knew. So happy that you’re happy and living out loud and in your truth. Love how the bun came out!
New subbie ✨ I appreciate you being so open & transparent!
Welcome to the family ❤️❤️❤️
You’re so welcome Sista Sista 😍😍. Peace and blessings
Lol this is my exact story. Always felt like something was missing or maybe I just wasn’t affectionate enough when trying to date men. All the guys I dated would say they thought I was gay. Finally dated my first girl and I was like WOW ok this is LOVE!!!!! lol happy you found your person 🤍
Your hair turned out So Pretty!😍
I'm a 58 year old straight heterosexual women. This is the most mature and simple description I've ever heard on lesbianism's. I applaud you!! And....I love the wigs you review and style! I need to be more creative with the wigs I buy. For some reason I feel like if I change the style or cut it a little, I'm going to change the texture or mess it up beyond wearing. Seeing you do the messy bun was amazing! I'm still learning though!
I’m 29 and I noticed that I still try to force myself to like guys. Although I came out as a lesbian when I was 15 yrs old
stop forcing it. be you!
@@ayanafite that's what I'm trying to do , I always felt I'm gay but I hid it, but now I know I'm a gay guy I'm tired of fighting it.
I’m also 30. Always been attracted to women, always been in straight relationships. I hope to not have another relationship after this one, but if I do I really want to be with a woman.
I’m just apprehensive that most lesbians might think I’m just “bitterly playing the field” instead of being serious. Did you come across anything like that, or have those fears?
Funny how things play out. I might get that chance sooner than I anticipated.
👀
I lived thru the same thing, as soon as i feel like its time to enjoy coming out and enjoy the new “gay” lifestyle it was basically taken from me because i basically lost my mom because she aint feel comfortable with it 🙄 and as a result i broke alot of girls hearts because i hated myself because i felt like my mom hated me
Thanks for Sharing and being open and honest the bun is cute😉
😊 thank you
Literally my favorite channel atm❤❤❤❤
Omg! Thank you so much! 😢
I agree with the fact that When I was with men, I had greets experiences but I realized that it’s women that I wanted to be with.
Omg the part about being late coming out is so funny this gay guy I work with is 60 4 kids and 2 wives later he said he's happy he's gay 😂 im thinking you was probably gay from the jump and tried to hide it having kids abs getting married
I like the honestly in this video. It makes me understand this perspective better. Like I have always been a bit wondering why some gay or trans people are in such denial about themselves when they already know on some level. This made me understand a little bit better.
you’re so pretty! super jealous of your face structure and clear skin lmao! skin care routine?? also it’s random but i love your setup it’s so pretty and clean with the flowers in the background. new subbie :)
omg! thank you (my facial structure is actually one of my insecurities). welcome to the family!
I thought you were 19 Black don’t crack 💁🏽♀️😍👏🏽 so pretty
You are so relatable. Thank you for sharing your experiences
This definitely confirmed it for me. Im lesbian for sure, no more hiding ☺️
Live your life ❤️
Different time, yeah. Although, as a trans guy, the first person I came out to in person, was an old white woman. Religious. She was very accepting of me, and only later on told me that I helped her see her own bias against, and stigmas with LGBT folks, prior. She was my mentor, and my best friend. I think that yeah, it might have been less acceptable, but as time goes, we are supposed to change and grow. She did. Some people take more time in that, and will only change when it comes close to home. I was lucky.
These videos are so good; you really put things into perspective.
Thank youuuuuu 💕💕💕
My heart go out to you when you say that you dated a guy in high school and all into college the part where he cheated on you hit me the most what was he even thinking to do that? 😣🥺 + That's what make me want to stay single and not be with anyone. 🙅
Ayana!!!!!! Thank you so much for this video. I identify right now as bisexual but so many experiences with men have me reeling. I'm in my early-mid twenties transition period now and I......feel a lot of things. My parents have already started in on their "when we gettin grandkids" stuff and random family members/ people asking me if I have a boyfriend or husband or Children.... the casket theyd blow if they knew i liked girls, lmao. I do still say im bi (even tho i am not out to my family, because like you said people of certain generations just do not understand. I feel like if and when i date a woman that im comfortable bringing to my family is when we'll have these conversations) but men just, like, put me off sometimes. And i seriously am not sure if thats just because i dont go out much and the very few eligible niggas ive met have been fuckboys lol - which is true. but its so hard rn because i have never, ever acted on my bisexuality despite being out for 3 years, and im honestly not sure how to approach a woman or go about flirting with one. I feel especially as a femme woman who says she is bi, not every lesbian is comfortable dating a bisexual woman and not every femme - i like femmes and studs but i have a preference for femme ladies because women are pretty - wants to date/ be with another femme. im moving soon but the area im in rn is white, republican and hella homophobic and people my age here in general are just......not it
Well first of all….. get OUT of that toxic ass area lol. Second, I was just like you at that age! I didn’t know what to do either. I just randomly started hanging around lesbians and after a few approached me I started dating.
So im attracted to gay man. How that work🤦🏿♀️🤷🏿♀️? Like what is this ?? Anybody know
It’s just your preference
I’ve been questioning my sexuality. Maybe this is a sign lol
Lol, just do what makes you happy
You don't look 30 at all. You have good genes.
Yo, this video just randomly showed up on my feed and I'm like "HO-LEE FUCKING SHIT you're so gorgeous!" Like I legit starting falling in love and whatnot. You're beauty is mesmerizing. 😍💕😘💖 Sub-fucking-scribed, princess!
Wow I didn't realise you has a youtube channel as I watch growing up love hip hop wow
My daughter been telling me she feels different she's only 14 and likes girls but uve been trying to be supportive and happy for her but I'm really going through some mood swings with her how do I deal with this x
She’s 14. She doesn’t know what she wants to do. All you can do is support her and love her so that’s she’s not afraid to come to you for advice. The worst thing she can do is hide stuff from you.
When she said I'm thirty my jaw dropped. Talk about a baby face
Omg btw your skin looks so beautiful!
Thank You Ayana for sharing your story & being Transparent/honest. As a proud Gay Black man lemme tell you I’ve had ppl tell me Stephen you’re too fine to be Gay. As a Sexual Abuse/Physical abuse survivor an Certified Mental health advocate I’ve shared with some ppl that being Gay isn’t a choice number 1 & number too I love who I love & I love everything about myself.. I feel that Parents should love their children unconditionally no matter their Sexual orientation.
The only thing I have to say about being straight, gay, & etc is that it’s a sexual attraction and not a personality !
please explain sis
@@notwithoutpizza4702 when someone is gay, because of society, media, tv shows, movies & etc people assume a gay man acts like a woman and sadly a majority of them do. And a lesbian woman acts like a man or a townboy aka the personality. Therefore we need to start enhancing that being gay, straight, etc is a sexual orientation, not the personality or the stereotype
@@faboul467 Oh okay I get you
chile this is where i'm at in my life right now i'm starting to get disgusted with men but when it comes to women i get butterflies i see myself marrying a women .
Ayana I love the unit you hav on the curl pattern an Ayana thanks you for just being YOU an your Honesty much ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ keep on Manifest.peace and blessings
Thank you so much!!
I love and respect who you truly are. Thanks for sharing and I'm looking forward to more videos
Majority of my crushes have been guys but I have had two big girl crushes in my time 😭😭 I am not opposed to being with a girl but I'm not sure if it would be a lifelong thing. I don't like any guys now (or anybody overall). It's like I will never find anyone to be with and im 21 this year. Can't wait to start experiencing life and traveling because right now I'm sooo bored
There’s a sexuality I forgot what it’s called but you would much rather be alone instead of with others. It’s valid, you don’t need to be with someone in other to live a happy life. That’s something society deemed on ppl
I appreciate you sharing your story
I appreciate you listening 💕
Yea this is kinda the same with me but I’m bi but im struggling and not thinking abt it cuz I’m a Christian. Idk how to juggle that and be who I am cuz then I think abt the many gay Christians so I kinda but it in the back of my head.
be who you are. God loves us all regardless.💗
@@NaadiraSsali thank you🧡🧡
Girrrrrrl, I have really needed to reframe how I think about religion. Like seriously, because those Bible verses are so firm with no room for interpretation. You just need to see yourself for who you are , and trust that God doesn’t make no junk!!
I just love 💕 your spirit and honesty my favorite person to watch and support
Omg your videos be on point I knew I was gay for a long time but was confused at first. Thought you were 20 btw. 😍🥰 great videos!
Your skin is beautiful! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank youuuuuu 💕💕
@@ayanafite please share your skin care routine
Girl, that's a beehive, not a messy bun. Your face is very symmetric, and your eyes are very enchanting. If you have a 60s outfit to go w/your hair you'll be the IT girl.
Heyyyyy Girly, I luv the big bun situation. Thanks so much for sharing your experience.
Thank you for listening ❤️
30 is young but damn ma😩😩you look 19
I like the curly hair in the beginning of the video real cute👌
"To thyne own self be True" Good for you. On another note I am shocked to know you are in your thirties. You look younger twenties!
A win for the ladies 💗🥇
Ooooohhh! So miss ayana is for the girls??? Okayyyyyyy 💗💗🌈
🌈
My first time here and you're sooo gorgeous 🥰
Omg ! Thank youuuuuu 🥺💕🥰
Totally related to this video. I always new🏳️🌈. Ppl definitely go overboard with the personal questions lol. But Happiness is definitely the key!!
I lost it when you said your 30😍😍😍
YOU ARE SO PRETTY WOAH
That’s so sweet! Thank youuuuuu ❤️❤️
YOUR HAIR .. beautiful
Thank you so much 😀
I’ve known for years that I’m bisexual and I’ve been with women but I can’t tell my parents bc I see the way they react to people who come out as gay that don’t ‘appear’ gay
I love watching your videos because you keep it 💯 and I appreciate that! New subscriber
Thanks for subbing & welcome to the family!
I love it Sis you are teaching me fr😍
So sorry there some out of pocket comments up in here. 🤦🏾
You look beautiful and stunning ✨
Hey ayana am ur new subscriber and I love everything about you 💕
Where did you buy the dresser in the background? I love it!
I got them for amazon. it's actually a faux dresser. it looks like as wooden dresser but it's actually one of those cube compartment thingys lol
This is so real. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing !! ♥️ & your hair came out cute.
😘😘
I’m going through this right now 😭 my recommended knew
Yo she’s so pretty it’s so unfairrr