Here’s another note I took from the video. My whole stand was on, “but why doesn’t he trust her?” “Why would you not trust me?” Skhu said something in response to that. ”It’s not about trust. It has nothing to do with not trusting YOU. We ask these questions because we want to make sure sisahamba kunye nabantu bethu. As the relationship grows, we also grow. The worst assumption we can make is to think ndihamba nomntu endamshiya kudaaala. We ask these questions to establish if there are loopholes na” This made me think of a reality show I used to watch-Tamar and Vince. One of the leading causes of their divorce is that Tamar kept saying they wanted different things. “I’m not the 29 year old you met years ago. I’ve grown. Our relationship has grown. We, therefore, need to adjust with how our relationship has matured”, Tamar mentioned. Vince, on the other hand, didn’t agree. He thought of himself as the same. He saw the relationship the same. And saw Tamar’s “sudden” change as a mid-life crisis. In response, Tamar made this example. “Our child is 8 years old. You cannot expect him to still play with trucks he used to play with them he was 2” Coming to the video, I was very defensive of my friend and I because I thought it had everything to do nokungathembakali kwethu. But I took the time to understand this part of Skhu’s argument, and I really really hear it. I understand. “you can’t base today’s decisions on what happened yesterday, abe umntu engekho apho” We have enjoyed hearing from you. We didn’t feel today’s traffic, reading your comments. Tell us what your partner’s are saying. I know it’s going to be LIT kwezinye izindlu namhlanje 😂🌺
Well this just reminded me of my similar situation,a guy that I worked with on the same project but different companies once asked that we should book at the same BnB then my ex partner questioned this but because of my innocence in the situation and did not think there can be advances from the guy I defended by saying.No baby he is married ,ryt there and Mr corrected me to you don't know men.I did not listen to him. One day on a weekend I was with my partner ,boom the guy called to my shock but I put him on the speaker while he was talking asking if he could see me .Then I asked him what is my husband suppose to say now ,I told him that your on speaker then he dropped the call. Then I got my lecture ,my partner said what did I tell you.I was soo pissed that I promised my partner that I will deal with him.He did not trust me and he never let me visit those projects by myself until he heard me telling him stories of how much we fight in site with Guy.Then he sat back. What am trying to say Nozi I understand
I completely agree with Skhu on the "disrespect" of the personal trainer greeting Nozi and not acknowledging Skhu, that's disrespectful, this would be the same sentiment if the roles were reversed. I am with Nozi on the, "my initial response should suffice" I can't always act the way you would like me to in order to eliminate your insecurities. I will always try to work on creating an environment of safety and transparency for my partner, but there will be moments where you think my innocent reaction is something else, which may be your own projections. "Checking of borders" are important as we are always growing etc, but those should be scheduled with a therapist, and not done in a situation that's sensitive, it'll confuse issues as the 2 are similar but different, one is about "security" the other is about "the temperature of the relationship, of which security is one of them, not the whole of it".
I agree but you its difficult to teach people how to behave around your partner. You can't teach someone humility that they never knew about. I think sis Nozi you have to tell the Ben 10 trainer that "you either greet my husband or the training sessions and partnership ends here" because you cannot train me and not at least greet my husband whom you know. I know you did not do anything with this Ben 10 trainer. It's just men's insecurities and for your peace sake you need to draw the line to the Ben 10 trainer to respect your man. Otherwise he will be your husbands trigger for as long as you will be trained by him.
The poor trainer probably felt a bit awkward because he was never introduced. Nozi dropped the ball by not formally introducing the guy since she was going to work with him.
GUYS!!! We're sitting in bed at 2am watching this. Besides killing ourselves with laughter, it's amazing how Lerato (Husband) aligned with Nozi's views and Phetola (Wife) is with Skhu on this one. Not sure if it's a male and female debate or a personality difference. Thank you for the entertaining content! Love, The Makhs
Your husband full of wisdom sis Nozi, with trainer I fully agree with him. That was utterly disrespectful, I’d not be happy if someone hugged my husband and pretended I’m not there. The Dr friend story, Bhut Skhu is correct too by saying people change and it crucial to always do a check, but I also feel the Dr might have panicked and ‘defended’ herself because she knows how insecure her husband is. Loving your content family🙌🏽❤️
I love how you guys share even your heated disagreements. It allows the married to see that nothing is wrong with their marriages just because they disagree and helps the unmarried to see that marriage isn't all roses with agreements all the time. Siyabonga ❤️
the reason why the husband didnt ask immediately is because he thought she would tell him instead of him asking. and the number thing i think there was misunderstanding, and why does a security guard need a number of a doctor because he works at the GATE not in the WARDS. are we saying the guard knows whats happening in the wards? she could have won the fight, answer the call and involve your husband in the video call. thats what i would have done Shku is a gent he knows what most of the male species look for when they befriend a lady, but not meaning all guys are like that. the gym guy was supposed to introduce himself to Skhu, and befriend him just like what he did with Nozi. the gym guy lacked respect for Skhu and his relationship with you. i would say a lil bit of jealous is good in a relationship but aslong as its not excessive. sometimes it will show how much you want your partner. I LIKED THIS CONVERSATION, DANKIE
Nozi, you are devaluing Skhu’s reality when it comes to this boy. It doesn’t matter what your intentions or feelings are. He is experiencing what he is from him (or in his head). It’s valid! His feelings are valid! Please acknowledge that. Get a different trainer if you want one. He’s clearly not happy with this one. Just put yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if tables are changed? Le ye your friend, I agree with you (Nozi).
I think it's just important to respect your partner's boundaries no matter how strongly you feel about the innocence of your situation. If your partner wants to revisit an earlier conversation, understand that he feels uncomfortable and not fight to put your perspective across. It was good to hear Skhu's perspective coz I realized men really think differently from us. Sometimes you have to forego 'being right' for the sake of peace.
My relationship is currently in Neonatal ICU because of this sana. I was also nonchalant about it like you Nozi but hearing from bhuti Skhu has enlightened me on why my partner reacted the way he did.
I go with Bhut'Skhu shem. Especially on the "why panic" part. Obviously she did not have the "Security's" number therefore would not know who is calling which does not set ground to panick but rather interest to know ngubani lo and ufuna ntoni🤷♀️
#Team Skhu sorry Nozi but I love ❤ 😍 you both kakhuuuulu futhi you are my inspiration...ndifunda lukhulu kuni malunga nomtshato I just got married but with your videos I enjoy being with my hubby
🤣🤣🤣Team Skhu... Bhut'Skhu I'm taking your wisdom as my indirect mentor. SisNozi always forever bringing challenging and refreshing conversations. Mina I love you both 😅🤭Would probably hug both of you at the same time🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️
I agree with Skhu, but also, the guy is 21, hes still young and still has a lot to learn. Skhu could have pulled him aside and gave him a few pointers..
Trust me, 21 year olds are not the babies you guys think they are. That boy knows what he is doing. As 21 year old myself with 21 year old male friends, I can say he knows what he is doing very well.
I think I'm with Skhu on this one. The boundaries needs to be checked and visited from time to time. She was supposed to answer the call and hear what the security says. Because how she handled it says. I may have looked or said something that made the security feel he can call. But had she just answered with innocence it was going to end there. The age issue with you Nozi is wrong. What are you saying if he was 39? Must your partner feel that would be a competition? Having a crush sometimes it is something not worth saying to the partner for protection of the boundaries of a relationship.
Video call though? I agree with Nozi when she said the friend was gonna lose anyway. I mean who does video calls to people they are not really familiar with? So the guard's disrespect of boundaries tested a lot
Team Bhut’Skhu sana Yoh la personal trainer akakuboni at least akubulise right after ebulise u Sis Nozi just to show some respect kuwe hayi, everything Bhut’Skhu said is absolutely correct❤️❤️ More respect to you guys
Hi Nozi. I hope you are well. Honestly speaking this is a tough one. However, the truth is that we cannot control how another individual behaves. What we can control is our response to their actions and this is true when it comes to relationships. I feel like your friend's husband read her body language and response as otherwise. I picked up something on something that Skhu said that made a lot of sense. He was speaking about respect and boundaries. I feel as though the husband felt disrespected because how would he have gotten the number in the first place if she didn't give it to him? On top of that, how can the security man have the guts to call her knowing she was married? What was his wife doing and saying to this man to give him such confidence? Why was she acting out of character? There are so many things that run through someone's mind before they have to come to the conclusion of saying that it was something minor or that their partner was not at fault. This honestly boils down to the level of trust that you have within your relationship and the boundaries that you have set up as a man or woman in a relationship. It also takes a deeper look into the boundaries that you have set up for others while you are in a relationship. This refers to how you, as an individual in a relationship, interact with others because the way you behave around others gives them certain authority and a certain picture about how far they can go. Although this may be seen as a means of controlling how others treat you, it really isn't however it gives them a rough idea of how far they can go. She should probably have a sit down with him and ask him if he thinks she's too friendly. There's a lot that I'd like to add however I think that this is sufficient enough.
Doc knows her husband is insecure thus the panic. Other things I agree with Skhu 100%. Adding to that, communicate what you feel so your partner knows.
Thank you for this! To be honest, as women we can do better in understanding how men perceive certain interactions in order to protect the relationship. They are called to be our protectors and gate keepers at the end of the day. I had a similar scenario with my husband just the other day and wuuuuh I blew my gasket because I just felt misunderstood. But I later understood that his heart was to protect our marriage and as a true man, you do that at whatever cost. I appreciate that now!😅
This was a match made in heaven. You are both good looking, smart, full of humor, you both can sing, preach and also can both do counseling very well. You deserve each other
This video has clearly made us aware how men think, well the majority of men. Every woman has thought exactly like Nozi that "don't u trust me?" thank you for an eye opening conversation, I'm definitely team Skhu, u came guns blazing and fully on point. Respect comes highly recommended 😁
Wow! What a convo! Heated but very important. I don't have issues with spouses chatting with the opposite sex but their interactions should be done in a manner that respects their spouse. Their spouse should not have any suspicions with the interaction. So I agree with Skhu on this one to say that, as a husband he would have loved to be respected during the time the wife was interacting with the trainer. Secondly, I would say that If a spouse feels that a specific "relationship with the opposite sex" is not sitting right with them, in this case Skhu not feeling comfy with the trainer, then his feelings should have been respected because he was not comfortable with the relationship/friendship despite Nozi feeling like "but he is just a 21 year old" etc. So I think where we go wrong is where we start defending our motives for certain things disregarding how that makes our partner feel. But yea, am in support of having another couple come on the forum so we can have different views.
So after watching I have to say I get skhu's point and I sway more towards him just from a respect and real life perspective. But pls can u have this discussion with another couple or two because I'd love to how other married people view this issue.
yho haii sis Noz yabona ubhut Skhu is so accurate and the way he lays out his views and points is so logic. i cant wait to watch this video with my husband. i honestly learn and grow from these types of conversations (lol in this case debate). i love you both and God bless your marriage
I'm with Nozi on this one.. Her conscience seems clear and innocent. Your partner should trust you. But I also agree with Skhu in that the third person must treat your spouse with respect. 🙏🏽 I love and appreciate you both! 💜💜 May God keep blessing you both!
I was so excited to watch a new video. 😁 I really like the way Skhu explains his point of view. I almost went team Skhu but I'm with Nozi on this one. As my partner, you should just trust me and believe my story the first time I tell it and it ends there.
That's naivety though. I can't just trust and go with what you say just based on the fact that you are my partner. I should be able to digest the story on my own perspective because we both have different views in that way you will understand why I feel uncomfortable about the certain situation. In this case which is of the trainer, he was in the wrong not Sis Nozi so all they had to do was listen to each which they did and resolved it.
#Team Nozi with the doctor's scenario.. as women our boundaries are constantly violated by men wh think they can just steal your number, or call you randomly without you knowing them, including catcalling, these things create anxiety for us and sometimes your reaction might not always be was is deemed correct.
Skhu is dropping some wisdom here and he is soooo right, I agree the 21 year old was being disrespectful, also Nozi since when wena ungasakwazi to use the gym equipments
Let the age alone as a personal trainer he should be aware on how to handle couples and apply Ubuntu... Now let's turn the tables and see if sis Nozi would be comfortable... I Love you sesi Nozi...that is my zero remarks nje...
Asoooooozeeeeee personal trainer phaaaa kudeee... wena Nozy might not have heard anything in mind but for the young man's mind wayethathekile lowoooo with that body andfuni nova......UNCLE SKHU💯 COMPLETELY AGREE WITH.U
Ugh ☹️ Skhu seems quite upset by this gym thing, reasonably so. You don't have to step into his shoes to mark his concerns as valid. If he says he is uncomfortable, that's it, it shouldn't be questioned but understood. It's not an unreasonable 'complaint'. I hope you find middle ground, I enjoyed this!❤️
Sorry Nozi I'm team Skhu😂😂😂😂 I think the Dr supposed to answer the call and address the matter in front of her husband you can't just drop the call as if you know what this person is going to say
I'm #TeamSkhu on this one😂. I really don't think it was in Bhut'Skhu's head when the trainer was acting up because on the next encounter(the trainer being disrespectful by not greeting Bhut'Skhu) it solidified what he had noted about the trainer's behaviour. Dr could've said I'm with my husband and I don't appreciate you calling me via video call when we're not used to each other like that. She could have set those boundaries in the presence of her husband coz then it would not have seemed suspicious of which it did from her reaction.
I like what Skhu says that it starts with you as a woman. If you do things right, it will not put him in a situation of getting triggers of being inquisitive and be like he is jealous
I'm baking cakes from home, staying with my partner and we have the same issues where a client would say "Ndibawela ikuku" ndithi ewe ikhona, athi "kuthiwa i-moist and rich" I dont know these people and sihlala elokishini so this is the language they use, abanye bakwi-night shift they are making cake enquiries after office hours, omnye afike early to collect the cake andincokolise. It's all innocent people but it can be read the other way. It is affecting my relationship.
Interesting conversation, very valid points from both sides but I’m leaning towards Skhu’s side on the personal trainer topic, you can’t greet me and not greet my partner on any social setting that is out right disrespectful , basically the 21 year old ayimboni u Skhu.
I completely agree with bhuti Skhu because that's how I also feel about a woman's conduct towards my man. Simple respect and acknowledgement of the next person is basic human principles.
I agree with bhut Skhu on this one. Nothing is wrong with asking your partner about something ekunika iskrokro until you are re-assured ba akhonto. As for the personal trainer yena, andimthandi already shame. Ubhut Skhu should trust his gut feeling.
Nozi in away i support Skhu the problem is not you is the guy why after 4 hours are you still on his mind... You looking at it innocently but you dont know what he was thinking my dear... Skhu is protecting his territory sweeti♥️♥️♥️
😂😂😂 I'm a very young lady who is in a committed relationship for the first time in my existence. We had a similar situation with my partner when he got a call, which I didn't have an issue with. Qha Waske wacacisa mntakabawo, wayimosha right there because that just upset me because it showed me that boundaries are being crossed.
I truly agree with Skhu, sis Nozi you can't see it coz this is your friend and from what she told you, you somehow defending her actions. Boundaries and transparency is important in relationships.
Shame without saying too much, ubhut Skhuu said it all 10/10 with both the doctor friend and the gym Instructor I agree with everything he said ndonqena nje ubamde ndibe ndiycacisa, he's 100% right.
In this case I'd definitely answer the call and include my husband in the conversation so that the guy realises uk'ba I do have a man who he ought to respect. Regardless of whether we were close or not. He needs to respect my man
Sorry Noz Noz, im with Ta Sku.. Thank u for the males point of view. I have learnt alot ❤️. Not picking up a phone is the biggest sign, it says alot from our perspective as females too, so I totally agree with Him. Even the gym thing! It says alot!!
It is not only about how uNozi sees the 21 year old but how his presence makes uSkhu feel, especially how Skhu explained feeling disrepected. Somethings may slide easy with us ladies because we're super nice individuals especially to perfect strangers but your personality should not make umntu wakho feel some type of way. This is the part where you protect each other's fragilities, it is not that I do not trust you but more like "that particular thing does not sit well with me". It is a prtnership like that.
You both made valid points but Uncle Skhu is right about the trainer he should have respected him especially someone's wife you don't just do🤭#Team Skhu
Interesting topic. I agree with both of you. There has to be boundaries,respect and trust in a relationship. The gym guy was disrespectful and lacked manners. Security guy was also disrespectful to video call. I once received a call from an ex colleague. A video call for that matter and I was with my partner. I answered and asked him what he wants. It was so awkward and I was shocked. I told him to never ever call me. That time it was at night guys. People should have boundaries and respect other people's relationships.
I understand both of you. For you Nozi because the interaction is innocent, you wont see how this affects Skhu. From a male perspective it s very disrespectful how he ignored Skhu, which means this guy had ulterior motives. Now with regards to the Dr , nam I would not have answered that video call. In general i dont answer video calls from people endingabaqhelanga. Ingaske umntu afoume kuqala acele ukwenza ivideo call ke, ukuba loo nto ayifunayo ayidingi video call, ndingavumi. I'd say she was shocked and her immediate reaction could from the shock OR she knows the security guard was inappropriate at times but she never paid any mind to it. Now to someone obukeleyo like umyeni he was not wrong because yindlela ayibona ngayo.
i agree with Skhu on this one. I'm a woman and personally I don't like these random calls/videos especially from numbers I don't recognize but at least i do answer and find out why the person is calling, most times you find that the person dialed a wrong number or something.. There is absolutely no reason to cut the call and get angry when you don't even know who is calling..
😂😂😂Am team Skhu.... ButiSkhu is right, some men are disrespectful Towards others and we women tend to ignore that in the name of being kind. The should be boundaries and it's not about jealousy, is knowing who you are, and how you respect yourself and level of respect you expect from your partner. The issue is, what if the tables were to be turned... Believe me twas gonna be chaos
But the age thing "he's 21" implies to me that, if he was older then something would have happened. I don't think we should boil it down to age. At the end of the day HE'S A MAN. His intentions don't automatically become pure just because he's younger.
Here’s another note I took from the video.
My whole stand was on, “but why doesn’t he trust her?”
“Why would you not trust me?”
Skhu said something in response to that. ”It’s not about trust. It has nothing to do with not trusting YOU. We ask these questions because we want to make sure sisahamba kunye nabantu bethu. As the relationship grows, we also grow. The worst assumption we can make is to think ndihamba nomntu endamshiya kudaaala. We ask these questions to establish if there are loopholes na”
This made me think of a reality show I used to watch-Tamar and Vince. One of the leading causes of their divorce is that Tamar kept saying they wanted different things. “I’m not the 29 year old you met years ago. I’ve grown. Our relationship has grown. We, therefore, need to adjust with how our relationship has matured”, Tamar mentioned.
Vince, on the other hand, didn’t agree. He thought of himself as the same. He saw the relationship the same. And saw Tamar’s “sudden” change as a mid-life crisis.
In response, Tamar made this example. “Our child is 8 years old. You cannot expect him to still play with trucks he used to play with them he was 2”
Coming to the video, I was very defensive of my friend and I because I thought it had everything to do nokungathembakali kwethu. But I took the time to understand this part of Skhu’s argument, and I really really hear it. I understand. “you can’t base today’s decisions on what happened yesterday, abe umntu engekho apho”
We have enjoyed hearing from you. We didn’t feel today’s traffic, reading your comments. Tell us what your partner’s are saying. I know it’s going to be LIT kwezinye izindlu namhlanje 😂🌺
Obvious...... 🤣🤣🤣🤣Mina let me tool🤐🤐🤐
Well this just reminded me of my similar situation,a guy that I worked with on the same project but different companies once asked that we should book at the same BnB then my ex partner questioned this but because of my innocence in the situation and did not think there can be advances from the guy I defended by saying.No baby he is married ,ryt there and Mr corrected me to you don't know men.I did not listen to him.
One day on a weekend I was with my partner ,boom the guy called to my shock but I put him on the speaker while he was talking asking if he could see me .Then I asked him what is my husband suppose to say now ,I told him that your on speaker then he dropped the call.
Then I got my lecture ,my partner said what did I tell you.I was soo pissed that I promised my partner that I will deal with him.He did not trust me and he never let me visit those projects by myself until he heard me telling him stories of how much we fight in site with Guy.Then he sat back.
What am trying to say Nozi I understand
I think bhuti Skhu on his spare time must enroll for a law degree. Ndimile😊
He is right uSkhu
@@akhonanozibele8272 waphantse wachitheka umtshato nkoshh
I love you Nozi ne? But Skhu is absolutely right in each and every point he's stating
I completely agree with Skhu on the "disrespect" of the personal trainer greeting Nozi and not acknowledging Skhu, that's disrespectful, this would be the same sentiment if the roles were reversed. I am with Nozi on the, "my initial response should suffice" I can't always act the way you would like me to in order to eliminate your insecurities. I will always try to work on creating an environment of safety and transparency for my partner, but there will be moments where you think my innocent reaction is something else, which may be your own projections. "Checking of borders" are important as we are always growing etc, but those should be scheduled with a therapist, and not done in a situation that's sensitive, it'll confuse issues as the 2 are similar but different, one is about "security" the other is about "the temperature of the relationship, of which security is one of them, not the whole of it".
I agree with Skhu 100%
I agree but you its difficult to teach people how to behave around your partner. You can't teach someone humility that they never knew about. I think sis Nozi you have to tell the Ben 10 trainer that "you either greet my husband or the training sessions and partnership ends here" because you cannot train me and not at least greet my husband whom you know. I know you did not do anything with this Ben 10 trainer. It's just men's insecurities and for your peace sake you need to draw the line to the Ben 10 trainer to respect your man. Otherwise he will be your husbands trigger for as long as you will be trained by him.
@@bridgettehondo2899 you just tell your trainer kuthi "meet my husband kaloku"
Hayi Nozi uSkhu ukubethile apha . He was on fire the way he answered. Buti Skhu udlalile
The poor trainer probably felt a bit awkward because he was never introduced. Nozi dropped the ball by not formally introducing the guy since she was going to work with him.
GUYS!!! We're sitting in bed at 2am watching this. Besides killing ourselves with laughter, it's amazing how Lerato (Husband) aligned with Nozi's views and Phetola (Wife) is with Skhu on this one. Not sure if it's a male and female debate or a personality difference.
Thank you for the entertaining content!
Love,
The Makhs
Hi Dream Team... 😍😍😍
Having watched your channel, I so understand why you side with the people you side with in this couple. 🙂 I'm with Skhu though
Please reach out to them dream team and do a collaboration on this topic! 💛
It’s definitely a personality difference. I’m also agreeing with Skhu and just happen to see things from his perspective.
"You can't live with your yesterdays performance" Ta skhu...a true matured grootman🙌
Such a profound statement!
He said he can only count on knowing himself because people change and I felt him😥
For the very first time seeing Skhu angry. I wish Nozi would listen and respect the points Skhu raised.
Your husband full of wisdom sis Nozi, with trainer I fully agree with him. That was utterly disrespectful, I’d not be happy if someone hugged my husband and pretended I’m not there. The Dr friend story, Bhut Skhu is correct too by saying people change and it crucial to always do a check, but I also feel the Dr might have panicked and ‘defended’ herself because she knows how insecure her husband is. Loving your content family🙌🏽❤️
I love how you guys share even your heated disagreements. It allows the married to see that nothing is wrong with their marriages just because they disagree and helps the unmarried to see that marriage isn't all roses with agreements all the time.
Siyabonga ❤️
First time seeing Skhu this passionate, and you know what Nozi ..he's right, on all points he raised.
I honestly agree with Bhut Skhu in everything shame, his points are valid👌
the reason why the husband didnt ask immediately is because he thought she would tell him instead of him asking.
and the number thing i think there was misunderstanding, and why does a security guard need a number of a doctor because he works at the GATE not in the WARDS.
are we saying the guard knows whats happening in the wards?
she could have won the fight, answer the call and involve your husband in the video call. thats what i would have done
Shku is a gent he knows what most of the male species look for when they befriend a lady, but not meaning all guys are like that.
the gym guy was supposed to introduce himself to Skhu, and befriend him just like what he did with Nozi.
the gym guy lacked respect for Skhu and his relationship with you.
i would say a lil bit of jealous is good in a relationship but aslong as its not excessive.
sometimes it will show how much you want your partner.
I LIKED THIS CONVERSATION, DANKIE
You both have valid points, a thing is that we women take certain things lightly. And bhutSkhu is right that guy disrespected him.
Nozi, you are devaluing Skhu’s reality when it comes to this boy. It doesn’t matter what your intentions or feelings are. He is experiencing what he is from him (or in his head). It’s valid! His feelings are valid! Please acknowledge that. Get a different trainer if you want one. He’s clearly not happy with this one. Just put yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if tables are changed?
Le ye your friend, I agree with you (Nozi).
I think it's just important to respect your partner's boundaries no matter how strongly you feel about the innocence of your situation. If your partner wants to revisit an earlier conversation, understand that he feels uncomfortable and not fight to put your perspective across. It was good to hear Skhu's perspective coz I realized men really think differently from us. Sometimes you have to forego 'being right' for the sake of peace.
100%
You really made my night guyz
I totally agree with skhu on the part of a personal trainer being disrespectful kalok
#TeamSkhu After listening to him and thinking through the points that he made, I agree with him on this one.
Skhu is 100% correct... TOPIC CLOSED KE
Wow the openess in this conversation. Makes me have hope in marriage as a young lady. Love you guys❤️❤️ am team skhu😂
My relationship is currently in Neonatal ICU because of this sana. I was also nonchalant about it like you Nozi but hearing from bhuti Skhu has enlightened me on why my partner reacted the way he did.
I just died on Neonatal ICU before I could read the entire comment 🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂🤞🏾
@@zizomajwede605 but go back & clarify ....nothing u'll loose instead u'll gain respect...if u can watch this together ❤️
Thizaa! Lungisa ma'am phumani kulo NICU
I’ve been trying for the past 6 months I think what makes it worse is that he works outside the country from time to time . I will not give up though
Unyanisile Uncle Skhu kodwa shame in both cases, security and the gym guy🤜🏽 sorry sis Nozi ♥️
"Since when" 😂😂😂😂😂, why are you interrupting her😂😂😂😂😂😂
I love the communication and understanding each other in this couple🤧😭❤️
I go with Bhut'Skhu shem. Especially on the "why panic" part.
Obviously she did not have the "Security's" number therefore would not know who is calling which does not set ground to panick but rather interest to know ngubani lo and ufuna ntoni🤷♀️
I completely agree with Skhu in every respect of the discussion.
#Team Skhu sorry Nozi but I love ❤ 😍 you both kakhuuuulu futhi you are my inspiration...ndifunda lukhulu kuni malunga nomtshato I just got married but with your videos I enjoy being with my hubby
I don't know the full story yet but I am with bhut'Skhu🤣🤣🤣❤️
Hahahaha me too! Not done watching, but Mr M is right!
I totally understand sis Nozi and sometimes it’s hard to explain yourself while you don’t have the answers to why this person would call you.
Lol hahah this subject is making Skhu's blood boil 😂😂😂But honestly the ladies' story sounds more premeditated and protecting the other guy.
🤣🤣🤣Team Skhu...
Bhut'Skhu I'm taking your wisdom as my indirect mentor. SisNozi always forever bringing challenging and refreshing conversations. Mina I love you both 😅🤭Would probably hug both of you at the same time🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️
I am with uncle Skhu he is talking to sense
Yoh Ta Skhu was dropping gems right through this🙌 . Totally loved this🤍
I agree with Skhu, but also, the guy is 21, hes still young and still has a lot to learn. Skhu could have pulled him aside and gave him a few pointers..
Did he show respect to get Ta Sku to open up to him and guide him? Doesnt look like it
Trust me, 21 year olds are not the babies you guys think they are. That boy knows what he is doing. As 21 year old myself with 21 year old male friends, I can say he knows what he is doing very well.
I think I'm with Skhu on this one.
The boundaries needs to be checked and visited from time to time.
She was supposed to answer the call and hear what the security says. Because how she handled it says. I may have looked or said something that made the security feel he can call. But had she just answered with innocence it was going to end there.
The age issue with you Nozi is wrong. What are you saying if he was 39? Must your partner feel that would be a competition?
Having a crush sometimes it is something not worth saying to the partner for protection of the boundaries of a relationship.
But we hide that he disrespected Skhu. He supposed to greet Skhu
And tell the security im not working there anymore plz dont phone me again
Video call though? I agree with Nozi when she said the friend was gonna lose anyway. I mean who does video calls to people they are not really familiar with? So the guard's disrespect of boundaries tested a lot
"You can not live, with yesterday's perfomance"-ta Skhu✌
Team Bhut’Skhu sana Yoh la personal trainer akakuboni at least akubulise right after ebulise u Sis Nozi just to show some respect kuwe hayi, everything Bhut’Skhu said is absolutely correct❤️❤️ More respect to you guys
Hi Nozi. I hope you are well. Honestly speaking this is a tough one. However, the truth is that we cannot control how another individual behaves. What we can control is our response to their actions and this is true when it comes to relationships. I feel like your friend's husband read her body language and response as otherwise.
I picked up something on something that Skhu said that made a lot of sense. He was speaking about respect and boundaries. I feel as though the husband felt disrespected because how would he have gotten the number in the first place if she didn't give it to him? On top of that, how can the security man have the guts to call her knowing she was married? What was his wife doing and saying to this man to give him such confidence? Why was she acting out of character?
There are so many things that run through someone's mind before they have to come to the conclusion of saying that it was something minor or that their partner was not at fault. This honestly boils down to the level of trust that you have within your relationship and the boundaries that you have set up as a man or woman in a relationship. It also takes a deeper look into the boundaries that you have set up for others while you are in a relationship. This refers to how you, as an individual in a relationship, interact with others because the way you behave around others gives them certain authority and a certain picture about how far they can go. Although this may be seen as a means of controlling how others treat you, it really isn't however it gives them a rough idea of how far they can go. She should probably have a sit down with him and ask him if he thinks she's too friendly.
There's a lot that I'd like to add however I think that this is sufficient enough.
Doc knows her husband is insecure thus the panic.
Other things I agree with Skhu 100%. Adding to that, communicate what you feel so your partner knows.
Team Skhu
My faves 🤣🤣🤣.
Skhu is so messy!
He basically says you've been excluding him from the channel 🤣.
Thank you for this! To be honest, as women we can do better in understanding how men perceive certain interactions in order to protect the relationship. They are called to be our protectors and gate keepers at the end of the day. I had a similar scenario with my husband just the other day and wuuuuh I blew my gasket because I just felt misunderstood. But I later understood that his heart was to protect our marriage and as a true man, you do that at whatever cost. I appreciate that now!😅
This time I'm team Skhu he's absolutely right in each point he state
I agree
legend
This was a match made in heaven. You are both good looking, smart, full of humor, you both can sing, preach and also can both do counseling very well. You deserve each other
This video has clearly made us aware how men think, well the majority of men. Every woman has thought exactly like Nozi that "don't u trust me?" thank you for an eye opening conversation, I'm definitely team Skhu, u came guns blazing and fully on point. Respect comes highly recommended 😁
Wow! What a convo! Heated but very important. I don't have issues with spouses chatting with the opposite sex but their interactions should be done in a manner that respects their spouse. Their spouse should not have any suspicions with the interaction. So I agree with Skhu on this one to say that, as a husband he would have loved to be respected during the time the wife was interacting with the trainer. Secondly, I would say that If a spouse feels that a specific "relationship with the opposite sex" is not sitting right with them, in this case Skhu not feeling comfy with the trainer, then his feelings should have been respected because he was not comfortable with the relationship/friendship despite Nozi feeling like "but he is just a 21 year old" etc. So I think where we go wrong is where we start defending our motives for certain things disregarding how that makes our partner feel. But yea, am in support of having another couple come on the forum so we can have different views.
The personal trainer example, I agree with Skhu, sorry Nozi kkkkk
So after watching I have to say I get skhu's point and I sway more towards him just from a respect and real life perspective. But pls can u have this discussion with another couple or two because I'd love to how other married people view this issue.
This would be very interesting
My wife told me about this video and it also sparked a healthy debate this side. Thanks guys
yho haii sis Noz yabona ubhut Skhu is so accurate and the way he lays out his views and points is so logic. i cant wait to watch this video with my husband. i honestly learn and grow from these types of conversations (lol in this case debate). i love you both and God bless your marriage
🤣🤣 I’m TeamSkhu on this one . Respect my MAN!
Its Nozi raising her Hand after Ta Skhu told the Gym story🤣🤣🤣Drama Nozi A.a....But I am also team #Skhu✊, Valid points Sir.
Shku hit the nail on so many points. I love the way he articulated the issues, he was very fair.
I’m a 36 😂😂😂
I felt that correction….
I am with uBhuti uSkhu on this one, especially the disrespect part🙌🏾
I'm with Nozi on this one.. Her conscience seems clear and innocent. Your partner should trust you. But I also agree with Skhu in that the third person must treat your spouse with respect. 🙏🏽 I love and appreciate you both! 💜💜 May God keep blessing you both!
Yeah principles are princeples
Team Skhu it hurts to have someone dismiss such a thing all in the name of “trust”
I was so excited to watch a new video. 😁 I really like the way Skhu explains his point of view. I almost went team Skhu but I'm with Nozi on this one. As my partner, you should just trust me and believe my story the first time I tell it and it ends there.
That's naivety though. I can't just trust and go with what you say just based on the fact that you are my partner. I should be able to digest the story on my own perspective because we both have different views in that way you will understand why I feel uncomfortable about the certain situation. In this case which is of the trainer, he was in the wrong not Sis Nozi so all they had to do was listen to each which they did and resolved it.
Great video❤You guys are so matured in how you talk to each other,you honestly sell marriage.May God bless your union
#Team Nozi with the doctor's scenario.. as women our boundaries are constantly violated by men wh think they can just steal your number, or call you randomly without you knowing them, including catcalling, these things create anxiety for us and sometimes your reaction might not always be was is deemed correct.
Skhu is dropping some wisdom here and he is soooo right, I agree the 21 year old was being disrespectful, also Nozi since when wena ungasakwazi to use the gym equipments
Not you throwing Qhawe in there 😂😂😂😂😭😭
Boundaries! Boundaries! Boundaries Nozie. Imagine if tables were turned.
Let the age alone as a personal trainer he should be aware on how to handle couples and apply Ubuntu... Now let's turn the tables and see if sis Nozi would be comfortable... I Love you sesi Nozi...that is my zero remarks nje...
I agree with BhutSkhu on both cases. Respecting your partner and protecting him/her ukuthi angajwayelwa kabi is very important!!!
Asoooooozeeeeee personal trainer phaaaa kudeee... wena Nozy might not have heard anything in mind but for the young man's mind wayethathekile lowoooo with that body andfuni nova......UNCLE SKHU💯 COMPLETELY AGREE WITH.U
I love you both! What got me… “the way he expresses himself in acting” 🤣🤣🤣
Hai kaloku he's so funny 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I love that Q by Nozi. 'How could the friend have reacted'?... Because i find it akward having to explain something ndingaybuzwanga.
Ugh ☹️ Skhu seems quite upset by this gym thing, reasonably so. You don't have to step into his shoes to mark his concerns as valid. If he says he is uncomfortable, that's it, it shouldn't be questioned but understood. It's not an unreasonable 'complaint'. I hope you find middle ground, I enjoyed this!❤️
He looks angry even😢
#teamSku
That "since when" at 13:44 killed me😂😂😂😂😂
Please don't forget "the bastard" at 15:50.
It's like it escaped without uSkhu even expecting it. 😂😂😂
@@melaninsabre3798 he slipped that in so smoothly 😂😂
Can we have more discussion of this 🙏 this very interesting n informative
Sorry Nozi I'm team Skhu😂😂😂😂 I think the Dr supposed to answer the call and address the matter in front of her husband you can't just drop the call as if you know what this person is going to say
This transparency, the honesty. This is what I want in a relationship ❤️❤️
I'm #TeamSkhu on this one😂. I really don't think it was in Bhut'Skhu's head when the trainer was acting up because on the next encounter(the trainer being disrespectful by not greeting Bhut'Skhu) it solidified what he had noted about the trainer's behaviour.
Dr could've said I'm with my husband and I don't appreciate you calling me via video call when we're not used to each other like that. She could have set those boundaries in the presence of her husband coz then it would not have seemed suspicious of which it did from her reaction.
I love u Nozi, but I'm with Ta'Skhura on this one.
The sizes part. "I'm not a 38 I'm a 36"😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂Bhuti Skhu emphasizes that those photos must be brought
I like what Skhu says that it starts with you as a woman. If you do things right, it will not put him in a situation of getting triggers of being inquisitive and be like he is jealous
😂😂😂😂 “… and they say Skhumbuzo wow! You look so hot”🤣🤣🤣🤣
I'm baking cakes from home, staying with my partner and we have the same issues where a client would say "Ndibawela ikuku" ndithi ewe ikhona, athi "kuthiwa i-moist and rich"
I dont know these people and sihlala elokishini so this is the language they use, abanye bakwi-night shift they are making cake enquiries after office hours, omnye afike early to collect the cake andincokolise. It's all innocent people but it can be read the other way. It is affecting my relationship.
Interesting conversation, very valid points from both sides but I’m leaning towards Skhu’s side on the personal trainer topic, you can’t greet me and not greet my partner on any social setting that is out right disrespectful , basically the 21 year old ayimboni u Skhu.
I completely agree with bhuti Skhu because that's how I also feel about a woman's conduct towards my man. Simple respect and acknowledgement of the next person is basic human principles.
I agree with bhut Skhu on this one. Nothing is wrong with asking your partner about something ekunika iskrokro until you are re-assured ba akhonto.
As for the personal trainer yena, andimthandi already shame. Ubhut Skhu should trust his gut feeling.
Nozi in away i support Skhu the problem is not you is the guy why after 4 hours are you still on his mind... You looking at it innocently but you dont know what he was thinking my dear... Skhu is protecting his territory sweeti♥️♥️♥️
😂😂😂 I'm a very young lady who is in a committed relationship for the first time in my existence. We had a similar situation with my partner when he got a call, which I didn't have an issue with. Qha Waske wacacisa mntakabawo, wayimosha right there because that just upset me because it showed me that boundaries are being crossed.
I truly agree with Skhu, sis Nozi you can't see it coz this is your friend and from what she told you, you somehow defending her actions. Boundaries and transparency is important in relationships.
Correct Skhu 💯 not even up for discussion, also has nothing to do with jealousy mtase 🤞🏽
Shame without saying too much, ubhut Skhuu said it all 10/10 with both the doctor friend and the gym Instructor I agree with everything he said ndonqena nje ubamde ndibe ndiycacisa, he's 100% right.
It's the "Skhumbuzo wow" for me😂😂😂
In this case I'd definitely answer the call and include my husband in the conversation so that the guy realises uk'ba I do have a man who he ought to respect. Regardless of whether we were close or not. He needs to respect my man
Sorry Noz Noz, im with Ta Sku..
Thank u for the males point of view. I have learnt alot ❤️.
Not picking up a phone is the biggest sign, it says alot from our perspective as females too, so I totally agree with Him.
Even the gym thing! It says alot!!
Team Skhu on this one😁
La nkwenkwe, tyhagi ayinambeko tshinthiza 👏🏿
It is not only about how uNozi sees the 21 year old but how his presence makes uSkhu feel, especially how Skhu explained feeling disrepected. Somethings may slide easy with us ladies because we're super nice individuals especially to perfect strangers but your personality should not make umntu wakho feel some type of way. This is the part where you protect each other's fragilities, it is not that I do not trust you but more like "that particular thing does not sit well with me". It is a prtnership like that.
I agree with uncle Skhu shem the trainer is supposed to greet him the same way he does to you. 😃
“Interesting is an argument “🤣
You both made valid points but Uncle Skhu is right about the trainer he should have respected him especially someone's wife you don't just do🤭#Team Skhu
Im with Skhu
Interesting topic. I agree with both of you. There has to be boundaries,respect and trust in a relationship. The gym guy was disrespectful and lacked manners. Security guy was also disrespectful to video call.
I once received a call from an ex colleague. A video call for that matter and I was with my partner. I answered and asked him what he wants. It was so awkward and I was shocked. I told him to never ever call me. That time it was at night guys. People should have boundaries and respect other people's relationships.
I understand both of you. For you Nozi because the interaction is innocent, you wont see how this affects Skhu. From a male perspective it
s very disrespectful how he ignored Skhu, which means this guy had ulterior motives. Now with regards to the Dr , nam I would not have answered that video call. In general i dont answer video calls from people endingabaqhelanga. Ingaske umntu afoume kuqala acele ukwenza ivideo call ke, ukuba loo nto ayifunayo ayidingi video call, ndingavumi. I'd say she was shocked and her immediate reaction could from the shock OR she knows the security guard was inappropriate at times but she never paid any mind to it. Now to someone obukeleyo like umyeni he was not wrong because yindlela ayibona ngayo.
i agree with Skhu on this one. I'm a woman and personally I don't like these random calls/videos especially from numbers I don't recognize but at least i do answer and find out why the person is calling, most times you find that the person dialed a wrong number or something.. There is absolutely no reason to cut the call and get angry when you don't even know who is calling..
You know what l love you both but Buti Skhu is 100% right, people take advantage and they don't respect the institution of marriage.
Ooh wow that's a wonderful conversation. I'm with Bhuti Skhu on this one, boundaries in relationships are important. I'm a new follower.
Skhu is very intelligent. It really doesn’t make sense why the security guard has a Drs number to report patients. Ayenzi kwa sense
😂😂😂Am team Skhu.... ButiSkhu is right, some men are disrespectful Towards others and we women tend to ignore that in the name of being kind. The should be boundaries and it's not about jealousy, is knowing who you are, and how you respect yourself and level of respect you expect from your partner. The issue is, what if the tables were to be turned... Believe me twas gonna be chaos
aeee Nozi, I am with Skhu on this one.
But the age thing "he's 21" implies to me that, if he was older then something would have happened. I don't think we should boil it down to age. At the end of the day HE'S A MAN. His intentions don't automatically become pure just because he's younger.
Well said boet
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Agree
I love this black wool ekuNozie's hair. 😂😂. My people