r/Choosingbeggars "I DESERVE YOUR TV BECAUSE I HAVE SUPERIOR SP*RM!"

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  • Опубликовано: 7 янв 2025

Комментарии • 1,3 тыс.

  • @rSlash
    @rSlash  3 года назад +1290

    MY SPERM IS LIKE A SWARM OF ANGRY PIHRANA READY TO DEVOUR ANYTHING IN THEIR PATH.
    One time I jacked off into a lake, and within 10 minutes my sperm had eaten every fish in the lake. True story.

    • @Ezemptx_bot
      @Ezemptx_bot 3 года назад +20

      First on his comment lol

    • @FoxScotty
      @FoxScotty 3 года назад +47

      ohh come on i nearly peed myself from laughter 😂😂😂

    • @soruhetsu
      @soruhetsu 3 года назад +16

      What

    • @ratchets9314
      @ratchets9314 3 года назад +8

      Hai rslash thanks for never missing a upload

    • @itzTeTe
      @itzTeTe 3 года назад +22

      Well then...

  • @IronMaiden756
    @IronMaiden756 3 года назад +525

    If the 24-year-old single mother is "successful," why does she need a guy with six figures? That whole post was gross.

    • @nedlan1857
      @nedlan1857 3 года назад +21

      I have a friend, single mom of one to be exact. Kinda pretty, have a successful career, but kinda bitch. She by any mean not a dick but she look down all "inferior" men as not worth for her, yapping don't need a men while consult with me why she never met a nice guy. The reason I stay with her is because its amusing af and her personality is not that bad, just this kind of women is insecure af. They jealous their women of the same while not having a career and opportunities like her leading happy fulfilled life and have and happy family with husband while they alone single with not husband nor friends. The reason they want a "6 figure men" or "more successful men" is to brag to their circle that "we also have a successful family life"..in short they just insecure feminist

    • @marbleb33s
      @marbleb33s 3 года назад +18

      @@nedlan1857 that's not feminism tho

    • @johngenericlastname9781
      @johngenericlastname9781 3 года назад +12

      @@marbleb33s nah you're absolutely wrong, that's feminism. All that toxicity is under the feminist umbrella

    • @powerpuff_avenger
      @powerpuff_avenger 3 года назад +8

      @@nedlan1857 I can barely grasp what you just tried to write. Maybe try English?

    • @nedlan1857
      @nedlan1857 3 года назад +3

      @@powerpuff_avenger sorry I was at outside, and autocorrect may caused it

  • @madambutterfly1997
    @madambutterfly1997 3 года назад +690

    5 thousand dollars is extremely reasonable especially considering the menu and the number of people coming to the wedding

    • @neffyg35
      @neffyg35 3 года назад +36

      From what I had heard from friends that God married that paid around 55 a head. 28 is a steal

    • @justshanie101
      @justshanie101 3 года назад +29

      I was thinking that that price is a freaking steal of a bargain. I hear food can cost closer to 10 grand depending on the company you chose

    • @Bosihiov
      @Bosihiov 3 года назад +25

      My husband and I paid $33 a head for standard Afghan food (plain rice, kabob, qabuli palav, and bolani). $28 bucks for all that stuff is a total steal!!

    • @RainAngel111
      @RainAngel111 3 года назад +11

      I was about to comment the same thing. $28 a person is a steal.

    • @Serap2404
      @Serap2404 3 года назад +7

      Totally think it should be higher

  • @Hybrid301
    @Hybrid301 3 года назад +321

    “I need your entire family out of your home for a whole week while I film. . .”
    I called porno at this point, and it looks like a lot of others did as well. Which makes it even worse when you heard they had convinced the daughter to let them use her room.

    • @banditnmbr087
      @banditnmbr087 3 года назад +18

      I had not thought of that till you said it wow that's messed up

    • @thegreatstoneddragon9432
      @thegreatstoneddragon9432 3 года назад +40

      At least they didn't ask to use the daughter. 😬

    • @sourisvoleur4854
      @sourisvoleur4854 3 года назад +7

      @@thegreatstoneddragon9432 😨😨😨😨

    • @greywalker505
      @greywalker505 3 года назад +23

      @@thegreatstoneddragon9432
      “At least?” That shouldn’t have even been on the table.

    • @thegreatstoneddragon9432
      @thegreatstoneddragon9432 3 года назад +10

      @@greywalker505 Yeah. Either way, I'm glad they got shot down.

  • @anonimus8375
    @anonimus8375 3 года назад +168

    Tbh, 5000 dollars wasn't a bad price for all that food. That woman was crazy.

    • @simmonsmichael317
      @simmonsmichael317 3 года назад +7

      Frfr hope she available for weddings I'll swing that business to her real quick

    • @liacaburian2092
      @liacaburian2092 3 года назад +7

      @@simmonsmichael317 i remembered that catering post on twitter, the business owner has an ig acct highlyflavored757

    • @dshaprin
      @dshaprin Год назад +2

      It is a steal, I expected double.

    • @shadenox8164
      @shadenox8164 23 дня назад

      You'd definitely pay more than 28 bucks at a restaurant for all that for one person.

  • @madambutterfly1997
    @madambutterfly1997 3 года назад +497

    It disgusts me that the production team can’t even accommodate this woman. This must be a student passion project film for them to be demanding that this woman and her children completely vacate the house and pay for their own living expenses for the entire week of filming

    • @gigim.9742
      @gigim.9742 3 года назад +40

      Next time I need to reference pron, I'm calling it a "passion project" 🤣😂

    • @Freekymoho
      @Freekymoho 3 года назад +21

      or a loser trying to shoot porn

    • @adventfear
      @adventfear 3 года назад +27

      @@gigim.9742 why not a "passionate hugging project"?

    • @maggpiprime954
      @maggpiprime954 3 года назад +7

      Yeah, definitely "passion" project!
      Not student project, they still have rules being freshly drilled into their heads.

    • @PawsOnTheBalcony
      @PawsOnTheBalcony 3 года назад +16

      It sounds like a scam to me. They're trying to get the whole family out under false pretenses in order to rob everything that's not bolted down. And probably a good portion of the bolted stuff as well if they bring the right tools.

  • @Shadoboy
    @Shadoboy 3 года назад +277

    "Duhh, if Hawkings was so smurt, then why did he die?"
    -Guy with 147 IQ

    • @megakaren2160
      @megakaren2160 3 года назад +12

      If he was really that smart, he wouldn't have caught ALS in the first place.

    • @fate_clotho9596
      @fate_clotho9596 3 года назад +12

      @Shadoboy
      lol That was my take from the idiot's "He's dead." comeback.
      Also, the whole "You must need rent!" and " I hope you get evicted!" tirade confuses me. I had a similar choosing beggar tirade when selling a Dyson bladeless fan that was also a space heater. It was brand new, still in the box. They waned to know why I hadn't used it, I explained I had purchased two, and never needed the second since the one was efficient enough. But they wanted me to go down in price, and they're expensive. I wasn't willing to. They called me a "poor bitch" who needed money for drugs and rent. I laughed and said; "Actually, my mortgage is paid in full, so I own my house outright. And I'm on pain management, so my doctor has me take drug tests every three months. But, whatever, dude."
      That made them even angrier, so I blocked them and pulled the fan from the selling site. I'd had enough.

    • @Adair.Stewart
      @Adair.Stewart 3 года назад +3

      “Because a 216 IQ does not make a person invincible?”

    • @MidnightRose.
      @MidnightRose. 3 года назад +5

      He probably got that result from one buzzfeed quiz 😂

    • @kiev420
      @kiev420 3 года назад +7

      @@megakaren2160 Thing is, there's a difference between a high IQ, and other areas. Someone could have a high IQ but is very... lacking in other areas. He most likely does have that IQ cause people around 135 - 150 IQ brag sooooooooo much.
      Edit: You can still be stupid with any IQ, it isn't the only factor, a person with 100 IQ could be smarter than a person with 160 IQ, it's like capacity and acceleration, high capacity, but low acceleration.

  • @SapunMan
    @SapunMan 3 года назад +381

    During the Netflix story, all I could think of was "Dude just wants a pirating site."

    • @kaku7398
      @kaku7398 3 года назад +17

      Plus, I think he wants Netflix to work the way American tips work : basically a waiter's wage is basically just tips from costumers paying for their good services. But, tips are part of American social dynamics (they can even be called "cultural") and have been as such for a veeeery long time. So literally basing the entire FOUNDINGS of a movie on TIPS in a blink of an eye just because "Boohoo I pay for something when I can pirate it for free!!!!!!" is absolutely hilarious and just plain dumb. God that post is so stupid.
      (Just a note : I'm not criticizing the opinion, I'm criticizing the arguments. I see where he's coming from, but the arguments... are just stupid. Okbye)

    • @RaccoonWithRabies
      @RaccoonWithRabies 3 года назад +7

      For real. Free, with all the best movies and documentaries and (sometimes) recommendations on what you should watch next? Yep, that's just a piracy website.
      Only thing missing is the part about donating to the creators. You can donate to the website but if you wanna support the movie makers you can just, I dunno, buy the movie or something?

    • @mackdee911h3
      @mackdee911h3 3 года назад +2

      He wants a piracy site that isnt a piracy site in the traditional sense so he doesnt risk getting any viruses, or his ISP telling him to knock that shit off before they drop him.

    • @cmlemmus494
      @cmlemmus494 3 года назад +5

      Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. The "service" this guy wants already exists, he's just too dumb to use it. (Note: I'm not encouraging piracy, just saying that obviously this person isn't aware of how it works). Even putting aside the copyright & payment aspects, how does he propose that one site would get access to everything ever. It's not like Disney is going to just give Netflix their library.

    • @ichigokurosaki3703
      @ichigokurosaki3703 3 года назад +1

      Idk just sounds like a RUclips version for shows and movies

  • @Forest_Fifer
    @Forest_Fifer 3 года назад +74

    $33 in one year? That's not a valued customer, that's barely even a customer.

    • @Sarika38
      @Sarika38 3 года назад

      I know right? Stupid broad acts like she's a damn celebrity!😂😂😂😂😂

    • @dx1450
      @dx1450 3 года назад +5

      And then she wants a $30 gift certificate... that's a lot more than the profit they made on her $33 sale.

    • @ZombieSazza
      @ZombieSazza 3 года назад

      I’m a bloody VIP for Irn Bru stocks in comparison because I spend hundreds every year

    • @Grouchbox
      @Grouchbox Год назад

      And she expects a discount that is almost as much as her total purchses

  • @robertaylor9218
    @robertaylor9218 3 года назад +169

    Only $28 a head for all that catering?!!? Holy shot that’s cheap!

    • @einienj3281
      @einienj3281 3 года назад +1

      It really is!

    • @Ramsey276one
      @Ramsey276one 3 года назад +3

      That’s CHEAP?!
      NO MARRIAGE FOR ME!
      XD

    • @leileyaravencroft
      @leileyaravencroft 3 года назад +4

      Yeah it is. My cousin had his wedding specially catered with an open bar and that mess was EXPENSIVE. Can’t remember the actual price tag but that woman was getting an awesome deal.

    • @micaylamae3283
      @micaylamae3283 3 года назад +1

      Right? I’m pretty sure that’s what I paid for my prom banquet.

    • @magiv4205
      @magiv4205 2 года назад

      @@micaylamae3283 Wait who the fuck pays that much for a fucking PROM!?

  • @UnknownRager96
    @UnknownRager96 3 года назад +178

    Love how the guy expresses how dumb the sellers are for accepting his bad prices then meets someone who is firm and berates them for the longest time with no intention of buying it

  • @magicalunicorncat9955
    @magicalunicorncat9955 3 года назад +183

    This dude just outed himself on having a spending problem. “I DONT EVEN NEED IT I JUST WANT FOR THE DEAL!!” Ok soooo you have terrible spending and hoarding habits? Great job

    • @camilac.l.1323
      @camilac.l.1323 3 года назад +4

      Assuming he was telling the truth.

    • @fullmetal_3961
      @fullmetal_3961 3 года назад +3

      @@camilac.l.1323 yeah, I'm gonna assume he wasn't.

  • @SpartanPrimeDSTY117
    @SpartanPrimeDSTY117 3 года назад +165

    The last guy does not see that a free Netflix would have to be crammed full of a ludicrous number of ads to be anywhere near viable. It's not that much dude. Lol

    • @mihan2d
      @mihan2d 3 года назад +3

      Well... technically that's how non-cable TV works for decades.

    • @sourisvoleur4854
      @sourisvoleur4854 3 года назад +2

      @@mihan2d - True but in a completely different market. When there are only 4 channels, you take what you can get. How many choices do we have nowadays? Much more cut-throat, I think.

    • @Casual-Yohoho-Enjoyer
      @Casual-Yohoho-Enjoyer 3 года назад

      Then not make just netflix free. Make movies free so netflix doesn't have to pay for them

    • @gorilladisco9108
      @gorilladisco9108 3 года назад +1

      Do you mean just like broadcast tv?

    • @Mad-Hatter-ison
      @Mad-Hatter-ison 3 года назад +1

      @@Casual-Yohoho-Enjoyer It's even ironic because Netflix had been underpaying studios and animators to the point a lot died of either exhaustion and work environment
      and with the pandemic, that death is 10x worse than the virus itself

  • @bumblebee7860
    @bumblebee7860 3 года назад +105

    rSlash: “RUclips algorithm go easy on me that’s spelled coc not the other way!”
    Also rSlash: “oh yeah I have herpes in ALL three holes.”

    • @alimhamad6532
      @alimhamad6532 Год назад

      what does all three holes mean?

    • @dakodabarr9646
      @dakodabarr9646 Год назад

      @@alimhamad6532🐱🍩👄

    • @vamvam7690
      @vamvam7690 Год назад +1

      @@alimhamad6532🤦‍♀️

    • @KitKat10281
      @KitKat10281 2 месяца назад

      ​@@alimhamad6532 mouth, nose and ears.

  • @minervatweet8961
    @minervatweet8961 3 года назад +306

    Ive looked forward to this every morning for the past 2 years. He is a real inspiration.

    • @toastycomfyghosty1891
      @toastycomfyghosty1891 3 года назад +7

      same tho

    • @Hell-yeah420.69
      @Hell-yeah420.69 3 года назад +6

      Ive been at it for a solid 8 months. Love listening while i get ready for work

    • @user-st7rq3sn7v
      @user-st7rq3sn7v 3 года назад +10

      I had no idea Superior sperm dude had such a following! Why?!

    • @theend475
      @theend475 3 года назад

      Yeah 😅

    • @-castus-
      @-castus- 3 года назад

      Well for me i look forward to evenings

  • @shadow4you
    @shadow4you 3 года назад +162

    "I think Netflix should be free"
    Netflix takes a long time to bring in new movies/series and there would be a lot of ads to suffer through. That "free" offer doesn't sound so nice either when you land in a dead zone. Good luck watching your stream while it buffers.

    • @gigim.9742
      @gigim.9742 3 года назад +6

      Heck, even when you pay, you get ads! Just look at Hulu.

    • @shadow4you
      @shadow4you 3 года назад +9

      @@gigim.9742 hence why I don't use Hulu anymore, especially when shows like South Park and Rick & Morty have language censored. I now use HBO Max, RUclips premium and Amazon Prime (has some ads but depends on the movie)

    • @amberheimbach4832
      @amberheimbach4832 3 года назад +3

      Netflix is pretty reasonable I mean pretty much everyone can afford it. Plus you could watch it for years and not get through all of it's content. That dumbass needs to just pry open their wallet and pay.

    • @Annie_Annie__
      @Annie_Annie__ 3 года назад +2

      Anyone that remembers the dial-up days with “free” dial-up internet providers would know how that works.
      You could pay for internet and an email address or you could get a free internet provider that had 1/4 to 1/2 your screen covered by banner ads at all times and was slow af. It suuuuuucked.
      Why would we go back to the internet stone age after all these years?

    • @terra_the_nightingale135
      @terra_the_nightingale135 3 года назад +1

      @@amberheimbach4832 pretty sure we’ve had it since like 2010 and still haven’t gotten by everything of course lmao

  • @G94Nick
    @G94Nick 3 года назад +154

    rSlash: RUclips algorithm, please go easy on me. It's not even the right word
    RUclips Algorithm: Lmao, you were demonetized the second you hit record.

    • @jamesnorman9160
      @jamesnorman9160 3 года назад +6

      RUclips: Too late! *hits demonetize button*

    • @DHTheAlaskan
      @DHTheAlaskan 3 года назад +8

      rSlash: *breathes*
      RUclips: DEMONOTIZED!

  • @myrdana
    @myrdana 3 года назад +85

    8 hours a week is perfectly fine if you dont need to pay for living expenses yourself, like still living with your parents, or students wanting to get some money while still studying.

    • @rainfallen7574
      @rainfallen7574 3 года назад +14

      also for disabled folks on disability that still have some of an ability to work, since the system hates us THAT much being only allowed to have a bs low amount in our accounts.

    • @cm6275
      @cm6275 3 года назад +6

      To me she sounded like an adult though lol so she probably needs more money than that

    • @MartialArtswithLucyLu
      @MartialArtswithLucyLu 3 года назад

      I live with my parents but I still work more than that a week sometimes here!

    • @Wi-Fi-El
      @Wi-Fi-El 3 года назад +2

      I'd be happy just to have a job lol

    • @dx1450
      @dx1450 3 года назад +2

      I really wish I could work 8 hours a week and have someone buy me a 14 day Alaskan cruise...

  • @tdavenport720
    @tdavenport720 3 года назад +191

    The catering one was actually pretty cheap and reasonable. All that high end food alone is expensive. Seven grand was the lowest price I’ve seen.💰

    • @b.f.2461
      @b.f.2461 3 года назад +4

      Yeah I would have thought that was a real deal.

    • @patc4586
      @patc4586 3 года назад +12

      Was it just me or was there an awful lot of shrimp/seafood on that list?
      "Shrimp and Grits"? ⁉️ 🦐🤢🦐

    • @jjohnston94
      @jjohnston94 3 года назад +8

      @@patc4586 Don't knock shrimp and grits until you've tried it. 👌

    • @nancyjay790
      @nancyjay790 3 года назад +3

      Some folks love grits, some aren't that thrilled.

    • @baraness24
      @baraness24 3 года назад +1

      @@patc4586 Oof, we got a yank here.

  • @Everhardt94
    @Everhardt94 3 года назад +22

    Crab and swordfish are considered breakfast meats? Now I feel like I've been eating breakfast wrong my whole life.

  • @haleysmith1501
    @haleysmith1501 3 года назад +64

    According to google, the average cost per person for a wedding buffet is 27$.

    • @vanguardangel6912
      @vanguardangel6912 3 года назад +6

      That sounds like a good deal IMO. If there’s guaranteed good food, I’ll give ya an even 30$

    • @sourisvoleur4854
      @sourisvoleur4854 3 года назад +9

      And that's probably without swordfish and shrimp grits.

    • @pollypockets508
      @pollypockets508 3 года назад +1

      Wow. That's so cheap.

    • @vladdraghici7237
      @vladdraghici7237 3 года назад +1

      yeah but most menus are not even close to what this person asked for.

    • @llamaniaman4002
      @llamaniaman4002 3 года назад +2

      Except most wedding buffets don’t order a waffle station, a wing station, swordfish fillet, salmon, dozens of cupcakes in multiple flavors, and more for hundreds of guests.
      So realistically it should have been $40+ for each person. That lady was getting a total bargain. I’d estimate around $65 considering the cost of the food and the effort/time the chefs put into making it. Also on the quality of the food, assuming that it’s average-to-high quality.

  • @ratchets9314
    @ratchets9314 3 года назад +449

    We gotta respect this man Dedication he has not missed a upload in so long and I know he got other thing he could do
    Edit: thanks for the likes everyone :)))))

    • @desireeloveros1055
      @desireeloveros1055 3 года назад +22

      I’m honestly shocked he hasn’t taken a break with a new baby in the home

    • @Viva_G89
      @Viva_G89 3 года назад +13

      He's getting paid great money for the easy job in the world, to read other people's stories out loud, it's not exactly taxing and like he says, he only does the one take

    • @tylersaylor463
      @tylersaylor463 3 года назад +8

      I agree there. Every day at 9am for me (Except for the one time he was late cause he forgot to hit upload), he always uploads.

    • @b-zar8912
      @b-zar8912 3 года назад +1

      @@Viva_G89 Faxx

    • @TKUA11
      @TKUA11 3 года назад +8

      Reading stories for 15 minutes isn’t that hard . Good stories, but the real work is done by the OPs

  • @keroadhd
    @keroadhd 3 года назад +47

    When OP found the pistol between the couch, if his brother actually did say: “I still have one more life.”
    OP coulda been like: “and it’ll be your only one if you don’t pass that controller.”

  • @SentientCubed
    @SentientCubed 3 года назад +13

    “People who brag about their IQ are losers”
    -Stephen Hawking
    Literally my favorite quote of all time

  • @13BGunBunny
    @13BGunBunny 3 года назад +27

    That person spent $33 in a whole year at one store and thinks that she is a "valued customer"? SMH

  • @boldanabrasevic3020
    @boldanabrasevic3020 3 года назад +32

    "BIG EGO IN A BIG MAN"
    That's not any better 😂

  • @scarletnight4554
    @scarletnight4554 3 года назад +38

    "Yes I'll probably be single forever with this attitude. No I do not care" she says on her tinder profile

    • @chaosreaver3597
      @chaosreaver3597 3 года назад +4

      That cound be summarised by typing "I want a rich subservient man who treats like a princess, you won't get meet my child untill we're engaged and I hate men"... yeah, she's dying alone.
      The only good thing about her profile is that she's upfront about how much of nightmare she is.
      One thing that baffles me, I don't use Tinder, but isn't that the app people use for casual hook-ups?
      Why was she husband hunting on Tinder? I mean some of the guys who I work with use it and I think only two of them have ever met the same woman more than once. And only one regularly hooks ups with the same woman whenever one of them is horny. Their entire relationship is basically about just sex.

  • @ryancarroll1697
    @ryancarroll1697 3 года назад +14

    Most shameful moment: the McDonald’s employee memorized my order…I got a cheeseburger and fries and they legit asked if I wasn’t getting my usual ice cream as well

    • @moren321
      @moren321 3 года назад +2

      I used to work at mcdonalds and honestly i wish i knew that memorising orders was somrthing that ppl didnt appreciate. Bc they always encouraged us to make customer's feel like regulars so i always felt proud if i remembered someones order tbh.

  • @hydraytz2795
    @hydraytz2795 3 года назад +30

    NOOO I don’t mean to shame my customers who come every night - by telling them to get the app 🤡😂 - I once had a girl sit in my drive through for 20m scrolling through her pictures for a “free 20pc coupon.” Even though she didn’t have it, (cause it doesn’t exists) she spent foreever and then whined when the person behind her honked 😂

    • @goku-sangreen4510
      @goku-sangreen4510 3 года назад +4

      My uncle has DRAWERS full of mcdonalds coupons we don't even pay just coupons

  • @MGlBlaze
    @MGlBlaze 3 года назад +12

    "It honestly isn't such a big deal" is easy to say for the one that ISN'T being asked to give up their house for a week. Bloody hell.

  • @franl155
    @franl155 3 года назад +18

    "I would like to buy your TV for a fifth of the price you listed"
    "I bet you would"

  • @byekloodofaberoth9279
    @byekloodofaberoth9279 3 года назад +95

    "I'd like to give back to her also." correction: "I want all of you to give back because I have better things to spend my money on."

    • @dx1450
      @dx1450 3 года назад

      Plus "And I'm lazy because I only work 8 hours a week but want everyone else to buy me a vacation."

  • @Fran-vk5dh
    @Fran-vk5dh 3 года назад +75

    his voices get funnier the more i hear it

    • @luigiRobs14
      @luigiRobs14 3 года назад +1

      I like to think with most stories he’s holding back some insane laughter

    • @binugget420
      @binugget420 3 года назад +2

      It really does🤣.. Plus it adds to the character and always gets me annoyed or irritated by the Karen

    • @genzphilosoph-e
      @genzphilosoph-e 3 года назад +1

      No joke lmao

    • @faustinobolanos6924
      @faustinobolanos6924 3 года назад +1

      Fr I've rewatched everyone of his videos at least 3 times it just gets more funny

    • @Mangos156
      @Mangos156 3 года назад

      You forgot your pills again john. Those are just the voices in your head

  • @365ral
    @365ral 3 года назад +21

    "I'd love to give back to my mom, so give me a bunch of money and stuff so I can spend it on myself-um, I mean, my mom."

  • @andrewfoss5311
    @andrewfoss5311 3 года назад +18

    Rslash….. your the man, but you got me worried that you think a “VIP” is the head honcho of of a company. Ya know the kind of people you meet in the CEO section at a club

  • @comradekitty3759
    @comradekitty3759 3 года назад +11

    That film guy definitely was going to use the daughters room for things that make me creeped out.

  • @dracko158
    @dracko158 3 года назад +33

    CB: *Compliments his own sperm*
    *"Weird flex, but okay."*

  • @shykorustotora
    @shykorustotora 3 года назад +1

    CB: I have 150IQ and 10 TVs!!
    OP: Seems like you almost have everything. Only thing you don't have is a therapist XD

  • @Love2Banime
    @Love2Banime 3 года назад +12

    I literally asked my family about the cost on a Princess Cruise and the price is ridiculous (the most a family member paid for was $9k)! CB is deliberately delusional and working 8 hours a week with no car will get her nowhere. Good luck on her birthday. :/

  • @stealinpanthers
    @stealinpanthers 3 года назад +2

    The Tinder profile lady: why are you even using a dating app if you have this attitude and know that you'll probably stay single? Makes no sense to me

    • @abrahamthebewildered1448
      @abrahamthebewildered1448 3 года назад +1

      Figures, worst case scenario she finds no one, best case scenario she finds a rich simp who'll shower her with his wealth. It's really too bad. I'm more angry with the guy who reproduced with her though, to be honest. Women like that need to be left alone and romantically ignored by all men.

  • @paulnightwolf9043
    @paulnightwolf9043 3 года назад +8

    Sometimes when I'm home alone I go to the backyard garden get naked cover myself with dirt and crawl around in the dirt and pretend I'm a earthworm 😏

  • @maxime2428
    @maxime2428 3 года назад +12

    The gun scenario was hilarious

  • @sheeptasticSeb
    @sheeptasticSeb 3 года назад +18

    Everybody, mark the date: 19th of September will be 1000th video!

  • @charlie-yin
    @charlie-yin 3 года назад +9

    Hey- rSlash, if you see this, I would just like to thank you for the hours of listening to your podcast that have saved me boredom. Whenever I'm bored, I put in my headphones and turn on rSlash's podcast!

  • @morganburke8822
    @morganburke8822 3 года назад +17

    Everyone with the first lol. Excited to be this early and have this brighten up my day right after biking in muggy weather

  • @CinderFallenAngel
    @CinderFallenAngel 3 года назад +11

    So how does the Netflix guy expect them to pay the staff who want their money before it reaches netflix?

    • @gorilladisco9108
      @gorilladisco9108 3 года назад

      Ads. That's how radio work, how broadcast tv work, how youtube work ..

  • @jeremytheimer7443
    @jeremytheimer7443 3 года назад +8

    "I'm not a damsel in distress I'm beautiful, well educated, smart, successful and funny" right if you are doing so well in life why do you need to date someone making 6 figures which is super vague. making 100,000 per year or making 999,999 per year is still 6 figures but way different. so I guess she isn't well educated or smart, she is funny tho.

  • @DarkNagell
    @DarkNagell Год назад +1

    Talking about choosing beggars, a friend of my ex bf convinced his ex wife to cater, cook and serve the meals for his wedding (all free of course), a friend of his and his band to play for free and tried to convince another friend to do all the photos for free. Unbelievable. I'm thinking about that poor ex serving food to the new wife, sitting next to her daughter. Smh.

  • @tomatogoose4426
    @tomatogoose4426 3 года назад +5

    Ok but like just a good steak with maybe one side can cost $28. That was an incredible deal for that caterer

  • @kankrivantas5536
    @kankrivantas5536 3 года назад +2

    The most shameful moment of my life was my manager at McDonald's pressuring me into telling people "you should really get the app, you're here like all the time!"

  • @charleneblack2792
    @charleneblack2792 3 года назад +3

    $1800 is eighteen thousand? Having a newborn is rough. He hasn't hit that sleeping through the night phase. 😆

  • @jaspr1999
    @jaspr1999 3 года назад +1

    A film student buddy of mine got the use of a warehouse (in the 80s) for shooting a short film. It was sort of free as the owner of the warehouse was getting ready to sell it. Me and all his other friends (about 20 of us) jumped in to clean that warehouse for both the shoot and the sale and everything went beautifully. My buddy was very happy with the shoot and the owner was thrilled he got a clean warehouse to sell. I couldn't imagine anyone trying to take advantage of the owner like that as he was just an awesome guy.

  • @matthewscorner2990
    @matthewscorner2990 3 года назад +5

    The thing that confuses me most about that Tinder profile is the part regarding flowers. What the heck is any one person gonna do with new flowers every single week?? I hate the idea of buying flowers in the first place, given how high maintenance they are. And that's just once. Is it just because they die by the end of the week, so she needs new ones to replace them?

    • @johannaleopold2612
      @johannaleopold2612 3 года назад +1

      Probably yes, if you always want flowers displayed, you have to change at least once a week (I think companies do it more often, but less and less have flowers standing around ^^).
      I think it's more stupid that she thinks someone would be ready to propose to her, without even knowing the kid (and it's also mean to the child, the 2 should know they get along, before any deep commitment is made).

    • @matthewscorner2990
      @matthewscorner2990 3 года назад

      @@johannaleopold2612 Yeah, a lot of the stuff in the bio is much more stupid, I'm not denying that. But it's not confusing. This is behavior we expect from people like them. The flower thing was the most confusing thing to me.

  • @MissCandiDandi
    @MissCandiDandi 2 года назад +2

    Man the loyal customer one made me laugh when the commenter got told they should use the app because they're always there.
    My sister was so mortified once because we used to go to McDonald's ALLLLL the time, and she had her name on her licensee plate, so they actually knew her by name.
    And one time they messed up her order at the window and a staff member told them off saying 'shes practically one of our VIP's how could you mess up her order?'
    My sister was M O R T I F I E D and didnt go back for ages.
    Thankfully we're both on a much healthier path now and very rarely if ever get fast food anymore 🥰

  • @dimitristsekeris1821
    @dimitristsekeris1821 3 года назад +3

    -I want an expensive TV for pennies
    -No
    -I HAVE A HUGE IQ, I AM RICH AND MY JIZ IS RAD!!!!

    • @sourisvoleur4854
      @sourisvoleur4854 3 года назад

      Every single one of my sperm has a Lamborghini and two vacation homes in Barbados!

  • @Josh_the_jester
    @Josh_the_jester 3 года назад +2

    13:55 OP should learn another qoat from another genius "never argue with an idiot, they will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience" - Mark Twain

  • @evadedenbach1226
    @evadedenbach1226 3 года назад +3

    The bridesmaid wanted Saks service at Walmart prices. Those are the worst kind of customers!

  • @dx1450
    @dx1450 3 года назад +1

    "I'm giving you a poor review."
    Oh no, then nobody will want to take my free stuff any more. Damn.

  • @nicocchi
    @nicocchi 3 года назад +3

    "It's my turn now"
    "But I still have one life left!"
    * Clash of Clans gun *
    "Not anymore"

  • @orderglyconow
    @orderglyconow 3 года назад +1

    Nappa: rSlash, what does the scouter say about his insecurity level?
    rSlash: It's... OVER 9,000!

  • @alderart3992
    @alderart3992 3 года назад +3

    Anyone else think the guy bragging about his sperm is so insecure that he had a mental breakdown trying to inflate his ego?

  • @jaredbezes7806
    @jaredbezes7806 2 года назад +1

    6:29 wait she’s actually seriously trying to find a relationship? This is exactly the steps one would take to avoid a relationship at absolutely any cost. Just a big fat nope. Who would be like, ‘yea she seems like my type of woman’?

  • @DarkValorWolf
    @DarkValorWolf 3 года назад +7

    "youtube, please go easy on me" * notices there's no ads * O_O

  • @RedneckSwede
    @RedneckSwede 3 года назад +1

    Yeah, that guy was without any freaking doubt going to film an adult video in their house. It's happened before.

  • @RobGMun
    @RobGMun 3 года назад +11

    The last story about Netflix being for free. It already exists it's called torrenting and I've done it for the last 20-years.

  • @drewduff958
    @drewduff958 3 года назад +2

    I AM a caterer and we've charged that much per person for an appetizer party. It would be difficult to even pay a crew to set it all up and maintain it the day of the wedding for that price.

    • @abrahamthebewildered1448
      @abrahamthebewildered1448 3 года назад

      Yeah, that variety list was crazy! She made herself sound like a rich noble, but turned out a community centre and party subs were more in line with her budget.

  • @Dilapomega
    @Dilapomega 3 года назад +10

    8 hours a week? That's like part-part-time, my friends 15 year old brother worker longer hours

    • @Wi-Fi-El
      @Wi-Fi-El 3 года назад +1

      Facts. When I was still employed I was working a minimum of twenty hours a week

  • @derguenter6257
    @derguenter6257 3 года назад +1

    The tinderprofile reads like pure, unfiltered FDS content for sure xD

  • @martinspriit1103
    @martinspriit1103 3 года назад +7

    " I'm not a damsel in distress " you're right you a a cave dweller in distress

  • @proud19
    @proud19 3 года назад +2

    As someone that has worked on Hospitality she got off extremely cheap at the $5K figure. She was way beyond choosing beggar at $2100. In the lower end place I worked that menu would have been $35/ person & at the higher end it would have been $50

    • @abrahamthebewildered1448
      @abrahamthebewildered1448 3 года назад

      I was thinking about $50 per person. The variety is a big deal here, not just the individual meal complexity. Given all she asked, $10,000 would have been reasonable for 200 people.
      I think a few party subs would have been more in the range of her budget, tbh; not that I think anyone is too good for subs, but she's sounds like she thinks she's the future queen of England, or something.

  • @somestormcloakwithanarrowo4671
    @somestormcloakwithanarrowo4671 3 года назад +10

    Man i love these content you're making rSlash, keep on making them, I think you won't be out of materials, these things happen daily, and it's not gonna be too hard to look for these kind of stories. So keep the good work. Your content rocks

  • @jnoan1408
    @jnoan1408 3 года назад +2

    "Its my turn"
    'But I still have one more life'
    Cocks gun "I have more than one bullet left"

  • @RaginKavu
    @RaginKavu 3 года назад +11

    The funny thing?
    There's a school where I live that's named "COC". And it is a really good private one.

    • @MrTrollman5
      @MrTrollman5 3 года назад

      hmmm very good private one
      PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

  • @abbierubletz3904
    @abbierubletz3904 3 года назад

    The Clash of Clans one had to be the best thing I've ever heard on this channel... thanks for the genuine laughs!!

  • @brettski74
    @brettski74 3 года назад +3

    I always love how often we see choosing beggars throw out epithets of unprofessionalism or similar when they're not paying for something. Since the word "professional" refers to something done to make money/earn a living, yeah, this thing you're not paying for is totally not professional.

  • @strawberrysoulforever8336
    @strawberrysoulforever8336 3 года назад +1

    First story: Okay, this person is insane. When I invited three of my friends to celebrate my birthday, I wrote "no presents please" on the invitation. I got presents anyway, but I preferred the part of the evening where we were singing karaoke, having dinner or just chatting, rather than me opening them (although I do really like bedsocks, the replica of Luna Lovegood's wand and the encyclopedia of weird things).

  • @Kitty__luna
    @Kitty__luna 3 года назад +29

    It’s probably only 8 hours a week because that’s what they said they were available for…

  • @renaysari6631
    @renaysari6631 2 года назад +1

    It has always been my experience that when one brags about how great they are, how much money they have or how much sex they get, they are not great, broke, and get no sex. LOL

  • @DarkEinherjar
    @DarkEinherjar 3 года назад +3

    Ah, I remember that caterer story... still makes me facepalm to this day.

  • @lightning_fl
    @lightning_fl 3 года назад +2

    I’m a uni student that works 8 hours a week (but I usually work 20-24 hours bc overtime) my holiday this year was 2 days away camping that cost me an my partner just over £100 and I loved it. I’m putting away £50 a month to save up for a Disneyland Paris weekend trip for when me and my friends graduate and even at that we might be waiting until we all have full time jobs. I don’t understand why people who can’t afford things beg others to pay for them, since when did the world owe lazy people?!

  • @zemilkman5450
    @zemilkman5450 3 года назад +6

    *Everyone enjoying the story
    *Me wondering how he got the gun sound

    • @Wi-Fi-El
      @Wi-Fi-El 3 года назад +3

      You can find free audio clips of gunshots, lasers, explosions etc online

  • @Far2hip
    @Far2hip 3 года назад +1

    Oh my God, lol. That egomaniac is actually hilarious!! Normally I would punt any butthole that acted up that way, but that guy was so damn amusingly into himself that I would play into it as long as I could string the weirdo along just for the entertainment, lol!! 🤣😂🤣😂

  • @josephstalin6327
    @josephstalin6327 3 года назад +3

    Rslash makes everyone happy

  • @redfailhawk
    @redfailhawk 2 года назад +1

    Where the frick did she find a two week Alaskan cruise for under 2k/person?? Mine was going to be 6k... BEFORE airfare, hotels before/after, the photography lessons, and any excursions.

  • @armi_armybts6976
    @armi_armybts6976 3 года назад +3

    Dude there can’t be 90 “ first” people… y’all want a cookie of something?

  • @sidersik2616
    @sidersik2616 3 года назад +1

    If someone says she's a single mother by choice you have to stay as far away as possible from her

  • @BRIK_INK
    @BRIK_INK 3 года назад +3

    I did not expect this title lmao.

  • @NotUnique_
    @NotUnique_ 3 года назад +1

    Fun Fact :
    Choosing beggars can afford whatever they are begging for and not poor at all I've dealt with them all by this point and every single fcking time when they get their way and it time for payment the money appears all of a sudden and they oops their way out and if you dont give in they steal it, real poor people have pride and constantly try to ask if u have similar cheap one or exchange it with work or anything...so NEVER EVER GIVE IN TO CHOOSING BEGGARS.

  • @sweetiebabypie2
    @sweetiebabypie2 3 года назад +10

    Omg we're super early today!

  • @Inkontoast
    @Inkontoast 3 года назад +1

    7:17 only 3, thats rookie numbers man

  • @tronnemoney2124
    @tronnemoney2124 3 года назад +3

    Joking about stis like that is quite rude and not a moral failing

    • @clknails7747
      @clknails7747 3 года назад

      Yeah I always get kind of sensitive with this topic. I was in a long term relationship with a man who didn’t tell me he had herpes and gave it to me. Was very traumatic and I had to tell every person I was ever involved with after that about it beforehand. Very embarrassing. And I got it from a committed relationship (on my end).

  • @getupjohnnyboy1531
    @getupjohnnyboy1531 3 года назад +1

    Bruh, rSlash is getting boooold with words in these last few videos lmao. I love it

    • @deadlockraven1849
      @deadlockraven1849 3 года назад

      I know this is amazing. Just him suddenly dropping the f bomb out of nowhere is great.

  • @TwinkieMouse
    @TwinkieMouse 3 года назад +3

    2:19 they says vip not ceo

  • @BenderRodriguez10
    @BenderRodriguez10 2 года назад +1

    Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.

  • @jefffoo6891
    @jefffoo6891 3 года назад +37

    Day 140 of telling him he's making everyone day better

  • @lukek8357
    @lukek8357 Год назад +1

    I've worked on TV location shoots. The money I've seen paid for houses is crazy. One house was used for 6 months, they repainted, replaced carpets and put in a beautiful garden for the shoot then returned it to normal. They were paid $400K (AUD) for that 6 months, put up in a Air BnB and got to keep the garden.

  • @CaptnCheeze
    @CaptnCheeze 3 года назад +3

    The guy who wanted the coc account would get banned, selling accounts is not bad and supercell can detect that fast, talking from friends perspective

  • @ZPokemonfanA
    @ZPokemonfanA 3 года назад +1

    That Offerup dude... I would have sent him a link of Buzz Lightyear saying "You are a sad, strange little man. And you have my pity. Farewell!"

  • @kevinscott7292
    @kevinscott7292 3 года назад +3

    18 *hundred*, not thousand
    But I think we all know by know RSLASH puts mistakes like this in deliberately to boost the comment count
    ...so allow us to happily oblige!

    • @h.f.a.1221
      @h.f.a.1221 3 года назад

      Huh. I never thought of it like that

    • @roshnibritto4637
      @roshnibritto4637 3 года назад

      True lol I didn't know

    • @Ahmad-fq5eh
      @Ahmad-fq5eh 3 года назад

      Lol I think he does the same in the AITA videos with one blatantly obvious contradictory take to get people to comment. Very smart on his part of that is the case.

  • @charitypainter4356
    @charitypainter4356 2 года назад +1

    that single moms dating profile is pretty cringe, the ONLY thing I could MAYBE agree with is not letting a potential partner meet her kid till they're engaged, or at least after a long time. I had a partner for more than a year, he was by far the healthiest and most communicative (I thought) loving man I'd met to this day, i fully intended to marry this man and was led to believe he felt the same. after a year he kind of decided that he didn't want our relationship anymore. that's it, no explanation, nothing, it just ended over text after a fun filled weekend with the three of us. to this day it baffles me, he was wonderfull to me and my son, the worst part of the breakup came in the aftermath during the months and months that I spent making excuses like "he's just busy" and slowly trying to help him forget this man that became the only father he's known (my sons biological father is a piece of work and a whole other story), and holding my toddler while he cried and tells me how much he missed that man. I never hated him, I missed him and let him go because he straight up told me that he didn't want the relationship anymore, I just never got an explanation. I have let go of any feelings I had for him, and since my son was young enough I think he's finally forgetting, and hopefully it won't impact him in the future.
    sorry for the rant but yeah, I can definitely understand not wanting anyone to meet her kid until a significant commitment has been made