LIVING TOGETHER DURING COVID (OR: A REALLY TINY GOVERNMENT) | Hannah Louise Poston

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  • Опубликовано: 12 сен 2024
  • background/context if u need it: • LONG CHATTY LIFE UPDAT...
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Комментарии • 205

  • @HannahLouisePoston
    @HannahLouisePoston  3 года назад +139

    If you're looking for a streamlined, no-nonsense video about strategies for communal living...you've come to the wrong place lol. Maybe we'll do that next time. THANK YOU, JULIA!

    • @Life_After_
      @Life_After_ 3 года назад

      I had to move back in with my parents for a few years when I made a job change recently. My boyfriend was also part of the equation. Adult communal living is hard, but it isn’t impossible. As you’ve proven here, communication is absolutely key to making it work. Good luck guys! Thank you for sharing with all of us.

  • @cassie9169
    @cassie9169 3 года назад +91

    When my dad got remarried, they both had 12-13 year old unsocialized dogs. They took them to dog training to get used to each other before moving in together. The trainer referred to them as the two mother-in-laws.

  • @pixiethistle
    @pixiethistle 3 года назад +62

    It sounds like the four of you are extremely skilled at communication, negotiation, & flexibility with copious amounts of consideration and kindness. I'm very impressed! I don't think this arrangement would work with a great many personality types and habits.

  • @carlyo7538
    @carlyo7538 3 года назад +143

    I read an article that, while the assumption is that the pandemic was an equalizer of unpaid labor, it's actually worsened the situation for women and caused major equity setbacks. Julia's situation reminds me of that. The article did a good job of not simply blaming men in these heterosexual relationships, but rather revealing how demands on men for paid labor are more rigid because of the expectation that there is someone (a woman) to take care of the unpaid labor while the paid labor is their domain.

    • @HannahLouisePoston
      @HannahLouisePoston  3 года назад +31

      Yes, it's definitely a "type of demands" thing that feels coincidental but actually isn't! I think of it as the "wife at home" workplace model. Problematic in so many ways.

    • @eikawithac
      @eikawithac 3 года назад +34

      @@HannahLouisePoston A huge one of these I've come to know about through friends is military spouses. Turns out, a MAJOR part of how our military functions rests on the assumption that all military members are men with stay-at-home wives. Resources for mil families are only offered during business hours. Any support for spouses heavily assumes that they are women. They're moved around constantly and given no support to find employment given their choppy resumes (hence many mil spouses being exploited by things like MLMs). And there are expectations that these "wives at home" will actually be doing a lot of the work to equip and physically care for deployed military members?? Fundraising for things like socks and sweatpants for injured soldiers (I guess if left in their employers' hands they would be going naked?), crafting elaborate "care packages" with... basic personal hygiene products and the kinds of tiny "luxuries" that mean the difference between "staring at nothing in the desert" and "having any semblance of a human life at all"... And on top of it all, military members often aren't even paid enough to support a single-income family in the first place?? It's a mess and it's endemic to all kinds of professions.

  • @brittanyhinton7860
    @brittanyhinton7860 3 года назад +47

    “I teach law” instead of “I am a law professor” is such a humble phrasing. I am a lawyer, and I would have loved to have her as a professor I think. This was a wonderful and thoughtful video!

  • @theIaurenshow
    @theIaurenshow 3 года назад +74

    i think you can do various chores one of three ways: out of guilt or pressure, out of obligation or necessity, or out of care and with a servant’s heart. or it can be a combination of those. it doesn’t mean the chores or housework needs to make you so happy or be so fun, but having a fuller heart afterward knowing you did your part to help your housemates and shared the benefit of your unique useful skills is so great.

  • @Creamy_Goodness
    @Creamy_Goodness 3 года назад +122

    Hannah's decolletage is throwing off the white balance lmao

  • @sarahkokura6349
    @sarahkokura6349 3 года назад +45

    The baby bottle thing stuck out to me. I think part of it too is the fact we are expected to do life on our own. Even if we have partners. This ideal of “I don’t need anyone” is perverse. We need community and the pandemic is showing us how much we need community. I love the idea it takes a village. Also, it’s nice to hear that the work I do is valuable. I’m a stay at home mom with autoimmune disorders. So I cannot work outside the home at this time. Not that all my kids are in school yet anyways. I will say my husband values what I do. He recognizes it as highly valuable and praiseworthy.

  • @LauPulstar
    @LauPulstar 3 года назад +43

    Omg i thought the brown poo sign was for a comunal bathroom, if someone just went número dos 🤣🤣 like... BEWARE

  • @nailinthefashion
    @nailinthefashion 3 года назад +65

    first of all, the cheekbones and jawlines in this video??? cannot handle. second of all, her effortlessly neat bun juxtaposed by your immaculately messy one?? STOP it. lastly, i'll touch upon how yall are literal, actual goals as i turned 29 this year and hope to one day, maybe even in the next 5 years, live with my best friend and our partners! i even have a dog and she has a cat~

  • @ndeluca77
    @ndeluca77 3 года назад +59

    I'm only 15 minutes in so there may be an update but I feel like this content would be so helpful and important for anyone planning on living together. The fact that you just do what needs to be done without being asked is huge and something that i just went through. I love this video so much already.
    Edit 1: yes, Julia is SO pretty and I'm so happy to see her in your videos again!

    • @HannahLouisePoston
      @HannahLouisePoston  3 года назад +3

      thanks you, Natasha!!! I hope that it can be helpful for someone out there :)

    • @kaylakirk7664
      @kaylakirk7664 3 года назад +5

      Yes, Julia is gorg! I have no idea how she looks so fresh faced as the mom of a 9 month old. I need to know her secrets.

  • @iamnotanacrobat
    @iamnotanacrobat 3 года назад +23

    I dont't know if you are familiar with the agile framework called "scrum", but a lot of the things you mentioned remind me of that concept. Regular family meetings (retrospective), plan for the week (sprint planning), knowing your most important goals like making sure the baby is taken care of (vision/sprint goal). Its philosophy of "inspect and adapt" you perfectly apply under totally different circumstances than scrum is normally used in (e.g. product devolopment). I found this very fascinating and reassuring as I love working in a scrum team. :)
    Oh and of course I loved the video in itself and am looking forward to updates from your tiny government.

    • @HannahLouisePoston
      @HannahLouisePoston  3 года назад +1

      wow, this sounds so cool!

    • @AnkV
      @AnkV 3 года назад +1

      I found the same pholosphy of semy age in a leaderhsip is language - a great management book written by an ex nuclear sumbmarine commander. What he says is good to have alternates between bluework ( planning , deciding) redwork ( doing) and if you want to change something commit to actions ( let s try this for 1 month) not beliefs ( this is the best way possible to live) . I love the ideea of changing the person leading the meetings , giving everyone the responsability of leaderhsip is a great way to do things.

    • @NedhuggenBjork
      @NedhuggenBjork 3 года назад +1

      I was also thinking of the two week meetings as a type of sprint retrospective! Then having another iteration with a two week sprint. You guys could probably find some inspiration in scrum. For example the different methods of retrospective, there are so many fun ones to prioritize topics and present problems without naming them as "problems".

  • @theIaurenshow
    @theIaurenshow 3 года назад +65

    also tag yourself in 20s roommate activities, i’m “do all the dishes angrily” 😂

    • @carey5821
      @carey5821 3 года назад +15

      leaving passive-aggressive post-its saying "please buy some more drain cleaner cause just finished it unclogging the shower drain :)" 🤦‍♀️

    • @annasmith956
      @annasmith956 3 года назад +18

      "Listening to roommate hit snooze over the course of two hours"

    • @HannahLouisePoston
      @HannahLouisePoston  3 года назад +16

      I think I'm probably "inconsiderately loud in the middle of the night"

    • @sc1592
      @sc1592 3 года назад +8

      “Leaves pans to cool after cooking and forgets about them”

    • @thesonorista7853
      @thesonorista7853 3 года назад +9

      I just figured my roommate didn't care. I went on a ten day cruise and didn't tell anyone. They thought I was dead.

  • @sc1592
    @sc1592 3 года назад +12

    Talking about division of labour and unpaid labour brings up a thought that persists in my own life. I love with my fiancé. When I first loved in, I was working part time and he worked full time, so he covered my half of the rent. During those two months before my full time started, I made an extra effort to make sure he never did any housework, because I wanted him to know that I was aware of and appreciated his extra monetary contribution. But once my full time started, I didn’t have as much free time so we had to divide up the housework. This still leaves me with guilt, because even though I’m working more hours now, I still make less money than he does. I feel a need to do all the housework in order to contribute equally, but there literally aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do all my full time work, my part time work, cook/clean, and sleep. So he does a lot of the cleaning.
    He doesn’t seem to mind and never makes me feel guilty or anything, it’s all my own internalised guilt but it’s an interesting byproduct of my having chosen a career path in the arts and him having chosen a career path in software design.

    • @HannahLouisePoston
      @HannahLouisePoston  3 года назад +11

      We didn't really get into it in the video, but one thing that has been awesome is that Julia and Ollie have decided to behave as though our work (mine and Joe's) is just as valuable as theirs, even though the actual wages for their jobs are much higher. Society values their work more than ours, because we are artists and the arts aren't very well valued. But that doesn't mean that our really tiny government values them unequally. It's one of the things that makes them such special partners in crime and makes the whole thing work.

  • @av.benils.ozyurukll.m524
    @av.benils.ozyurukll.m524 3 года назад +48

    So much to say, not enough time. SHORTLY: YOU GUYS JUST FILLED ME WITH HOPE FOR HUMANITY AGAIN 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗
    In Turkish the deepest shade of sincere gratefulness towards anyone/any beings (even animals and God) is expressed by saying ‘İyi ki varsın’ ‘Good thing you are’ 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

  • @RocaillewritesBlogspotcom
    @RocaillewritesBlogspotcom 3 года назад +16

    Julia, you're so not alone in having all the feelings about someone helping with your baby. When I walked with my son into his Pre-K classroom for the first time and the teacher served him his lunch while I watched from the sidelines, I felt inundated with all kinds of emotions - feeling unnecessary, embarrassed, sad, relieved... I was just completely unprepared to be so unravelled by such a simple act. Thank you guys for giving us a glimpse of your friendship.

  • @ljm792
    @ljm792 3 года назад +27

    Julia is very beautiful, but also SO SMART. Such a wounderful speaker and a wounderful voice! I loved listening to her conversing regarding the Tiny Goverment and the 3 high stakes. She must be a wounderful teacher! Oh to be some law student in Los Angeles :)

    • @HannahLouisePoston
      @HannahLouisePoston  3 года назад +1

      yes, Julia is a very organized thinker, it's delightful and inspiring!

  • @courtneycullen6289
    @courtneycullen6289 3 года назад +48

    In other news, what is Julia's skincare situation. Because her skin is glowing. Is it all baby? What's the tea?

    • @HannahLouisePoston
      @HannahLouisePoston  3 года назад +24

      Sadly for the rest of us, it's essentially genetics. I think she pretty much just washes her face with a mild cleanser. UGH

  • @nikkacuypers3934
    @nikkacuypers3934 3 года назад +15

    how that situation speaks to me... I have 3 children younger than 10, I work full time from home, my husband works part time from home, and my greatest fear is we would have to go back into complete lock down like we did from March to July. I bearly survived those months, sleeping about 4-5 hrs a night because I had to combine working, housework and homeschooling. as soon as the kids got to go back to school, even those few hours to work quietly are everything...

  • @julielute
    @julielute 3 года назад +36

    Your friendship is inspiring.

  • @heatherwalsh7036
    @heatherwalsh7036 3 года назад +17

    Julia is so beautiful without makeup! Loved that you took a moment to point that out. Love when women build each other up. It is so enjoyable to watch you two!

  • @courtneycullen6289
    @courtneycullen6289 3 года назад +17

    First of all, really tiny government will immediately be a thing in our household when I return home later today (unexpectedly led by the tiny 9 year old tuxedo dictator Idgie). Second, without explicitly naming it, this video does an awesome job of showing the necessity of conversations and systems of a feminist household even when the systems are primarily between two women. Because I might have assumed (in my 20s when I fully rejected the kind of communal living I would IMMEDIATELY join now) that it was always an xx-xy struggle regarding the value of labor in a home. But oh no, young jedi, after 14 years first with a partner and now a wife, I have learned that you can import the male/female scripts in simply based on assumptions of what kind of work is more valuable based on money and/or assumptions about the kind of work (and to a lesser extent personality type). It took us a long time first to just see it and analogize from our parents or friends and even longer to find a flexible equity in householder (one of my favorite Indian yogi terms) tasks. I truly appreciate the discussion that steps beyond the most traditional feminist concepts of male/female work allocation into actual value of work allocations and that dinner and grocery shopping and home tasks have a value on par with meetings and calls and "traditional" work in the world. This (and the longer version) have been such a delight).

    • @HannahLouisePoston
      @HannahLouisePoston  3 года назад +6

      LOVE LOVE LOVE this one thousand percent! In a weird way it's good to know that the male/female scripts can be imported, because it means that certain kinds of power have become disconnected from men and are sort of floating free for anyone to claim, which is A kind of progress, but of course it's not actually good because then we end up having to untangle all of the same issues even when men aren't causing them (directly). So interesting!

    • @HannahLouisePoston
      @HannahLouisePoston  3 года назад +8

      or, I can even add, this video didn't go there but sometimes Joe and I have found ourselves untangling situations in which the traditional xx-xy power struggle is happening but I'm in the xy role because I'm the economic driver. Especially during certain phases of our partnership, I've had to work on learning to value domestic labor as equal to $$ labor so that I can see that Joe's contributions are equal.

    • @celucero2
      @celucero2 3 года назад +4

      @@HannahLouisePostonThe script can also dictate that the fact that Joe is contributing the domestic labor would make it worth even less. "Oh, he's *just* a house husband. (snicker, sideways looks)" Ridiculous, but something I've heard.

    • @courtneycullen6289
      @courtneycullen6289 3 года назад +2

      @@HannahLouisePoston YES. We have flip-flopped back and forth and each time we learn more about how the economic scripts infect us and how much value home work has. Sometimes it’s easier to see and explain the value when you are the one benefiting from it as you try to do your external work. But whoa, my wife has MAJOR xy feelings of duty. It’s taken a long time for her to feel pride about her work as a householder too.

  • @Azurien
    @Azurien 3 года назад +6

    The doorhangers!!! Why haven't I thought of that? With both me and my husband filming at home, we don't know about each other what closed door means. So simple, so brilliant!

    • @HannahLouisePoston
      @HannahLouisePoston  3 года назад +3

      it's been incredible. It also helps me stay on task and in a weird way makes me feel like I have the moral support of the household when I'm working? Many layers of benefits.

  • @inactiveaccount8105
    @inactiveaccount8105 3 года назад +26

    Ooh, I'm early so I guess I'd better say hi! And please tell Julia her hair looks great~

  • @laritaenlinea
    @laritaenlinea 3 года назад +17

    This is super interesting. I live with my parents and my brother, and the situation with managing the house are muddy, and induced by guilt.
    I'm planning to move with my partner, and I'm trying to get different POV's so we can talk and get to an arrangement. Primarly a healtier one, in comparison to the examples we had growing up.
    So I REALLY appreciate this conversation. Thank you so much! To both of you.

    • @HannahLouisePoston
      @HannahLouisePoston  3 года назад +3

      yay, awesome! I'm so glad this is relevant to what you're going through right now

  • @AmeerahMuhammad
    @AmeerahMuhammad 3 года назад +8

    Julia is awesome. We were struggling with the division of labor in our household. Since I am out of work I felt like a lot of the domestic tasks fell on me and I was resentful of that. I recently had a convo with my housemate/brother expressing my frustrations about this and he took it upon himself to create a schedule. Which was surprising and refreshing. Mostly because he took the time to actually make sure he was contributing to the household labor equally.

    • @HannahLouisePoston
      @HannahLouisePoston  3 года назад +4

      yay! I think there is so much to be gained simply by recording who is doing what. It brings the unseen tasks (which certain people tend to do by default) into the open for all to see :)

  • @jennwithtwons4253
    @jennwithtwons4253 3 года назад +10

    This video makes me really look forward to my 30s but also inspires me to work on being a more considerate member of my household right now :)) Thanks for sharing the joys and difficulties of navigating these strange times on your channel, it means a lot

  • @DianaCGarciaG
    @DianaCGarciaG 3 года назад +21

    I don’t understand how is it possible that the richest country in the world doesn’t have mandatory maternity (which should be parental but one step at a time) leave... it’s infuriating and horrific. I really hope I’m not offending anyone but how is it possible that this is not a huge deal!?!? Whenever I say this country is equally as sexist as mine (let’s just narrow it down to South America) everyone looks at me like I’m crazy... am I though?

    • @robinjones394
      @robinjones394 3 года назад +2

      I don’t get it either... I’m jealous of many European countries that have 6 month or even one YEAR paid maternity leave...i was lucky (ok, my late pregnancy and first few months of being a new mom was terrible- I was on bed rest for 8 weeks before I delivered AND I had a horrendous delivery that required blood transfusions an$ surgery to correct many problems - plus I became very ill as soon as I received 2 blood transfusions... it’s now 19 years later and I still deal with severe chronic pain every day..)
      sorry for such a long reply... but I wanted to say that I was lucky to be off work from 2 months before delivery through to 4 months after delivery... I got to spend so much time with my son... then when he turned 5 yo, I quit my engineering career and became a stay at home mom.. ... which I absolutely love!!
      I hope things change for all of the countries that do not have paid maternity or paternity leave..

  • @whenthereisfire
    @whenthereisfire 3 года назад +4

    Could you talk about how you handle bills? Like rent/mortgage, utilities, internet/cable, etc.? Do you ‘pay’ your share in labor or is there a monetary split? This may be too personal but it is something I’m curious about, and I think having frank discussions about money is important in order to remove the stigma that surrounds them.

  • @melissaf991
    @melissaf991 3 года назад +6

    Considering I’m extremely introverted and love my privacy more than anything, I was way too excited to see this video pop up!

  • @laurasullivan1783
    @laurasullivan1783 3 года назад +14

    I thought the last door hanger was ‘I’m having a poo’ 🙈🙈🙈

    • @rebekahgonzalez1103
      @rebekahgonzalez1103 3 года назад

      As some one with IBS I was like... I can see how that would be relevant 🤣

  • @womanofacertainage5892
    @womanofacertainage5892 3 года назад +13

    That was delightful! :) Also, can we see the doggie sometime?

  • @jessjms1181
    @jessjms1181 3 года назад +4

    Julia reminds me of my friend, so considerate, put together but absolutely humble and easy to work with and be around. You both have a lovely friendship 💕

    • @courtneycullen6289
      @courtneycullen6289 3 года назад

      I know! She makes me want to call my best friend immediately. Only it's 3 am so I'll give it a few hours.

  • @jessielindsey11
    @jessielindsey11 3 года назад +2

    First of all, Julia is gorgeous! Those cheekbones! 😍 When you were taking about being available for baby duty and then having Julia decide she would like to spend time with her I was reminded of my own work- I am considered an hourly employee and some days are busier than others, I think of myself as still doing my work as long as I am ready and available to step in when something is needed. It took me a while to get past the guilt of not having something to show for every minute, but then I just breathe and remind myself that I’m being compensated for my time.

  • @sweetspicypepper
    @sweetspicypepper 3 года назад +3

    My SIL is a doctor and my nephew is 18 months. She also found out she has cancer a few months after nephew was born. Workwise, she chose to take Wednesday "off" to do doctors appointments, catch up on charts, and hang out with nephew. I come over on Wednesdays to help, so I definitely understand the wanting to work but also wanting to be around baby dynamic. I sometimes feel like I'm not helping much, but I know being a second pair of flexible hands allows her to see nephew more than she otherwise would, despite having new healthcare needs and a high workload career.

  • @jessicaalbert2021
    @jessicaalbert2021 3 года назад +6

    Loving this slice of life content!

  • @ladybunny9328
    @ladybunny9328 3 года назад +3

    I loved soooo much of this ... I do have to say Hannah’s imitation of Cordie and her little visits nonchalantly looking for Sadie
    - 🤣🥰🤣🥰🤣🥰 - brightened my world and made me feel so happy and amused! I have rewatched that part many times! 🤩

  • @ffmadari
    @ffmadari 3 года назад +1

    You guys are so awesome. You remind me of the time when my close friend went through a bad breakup and my husband, me and our baby invited her over to live with us. She didn’t have a job, and she helped us so much.
    Doing your part comes in many shapes, and every single chore is valuable. I should know, I’ve been a stay at home mom of 3 amazing kids for the last 8 years, and I do a LOT of stuff.
    Take care and keep the videos coming!!!!! Xx

  • @leenanorms
    @leenanorms 3 года назад +4

    This was honestly so lovely X

  • @lissettemendez7618
    @lissettemendez7618 3 года назад +1

    Listening to how you guys work together for the common good of every one involved/living in the same house makes me wonder how good or much more different this country or the current situation would be if we all just worked together and were so respectful and considerate of each other.

  • @courtney9694
    @courtney9694 3 года назад +2

    I just wanted to say my favorite part of this was watching you two listen to each other. Like actually listen. Loved it.

  • @Abloomith
    @Abloomith 3 года назад +6

    I'm a bit curious what topic Julia teaches if she's ever comfortable sharing - I'm putting together my midterm outline for torts right now while I listen to this! :) I think your 'my beautiful friend' talk with Julia may have been my first introduction to your channel. It's uncomfortable for me to take relaxing time to myself right now too, but it's so important that we figure out how to do it again. ;)

  • @kate98765
    @kate98765 3 года назад +1

    I love how you always give space for your guests/collaborators to talk, so many other youtubers seem to want to jump in and talk over people and take the spotlight back

  • @leprekaun123
    @leprekaun123 3 года назад +7

    I think there is a lot here that can be applied to “conventional” living with a partner. Typically when one decides to move in with a partner there is not nearly this level of preparation! Perhaps there absolutely should be!!!

  • @taniaquinones3447
    @taniaquinones3447 3 года назад +6

    She seems so nice

    • @HannahLouisePoston
      @HannahLouisePoston  3 года назад +2

      she is!!

    • @taniaquinones3447
      @taniaquinones3447 3 года назад +2

      @@HannahLouisePoston omg Hannah I just looked at the "on me" vs "on Julia" makeup list and cracked up laughing. So cute.

  • @araddara7600
    @araddara7600 3 года назад +5

    I loved watching this. You and Julia clearly have a bond you value dearly. I feel like this could all be helpful advice for anyone even just living with a single partner. The parts about communicating your needs was so important and also your thoughts on valuing domestic work. Thanks for sharing. Also, what kind of dog is Cordi?

    • @HannahLouisePoston
      @HannahLouisePoston  3 года назад

      Cordy looks just like the dog from Annie! I'm not sure if they know her breed.

  • @priyankamohantyms3870
    @priyankamohantyms3870 3 года назад +2

    This was such a lovely video. Possibly my favourite video on your channel. You both have such a beautiful relationship !

  • @Olivina330
    @Olivina330 3 года назад +5

    How absolutely lovely and effervescent you both are ❤️

  • @mariar3715
    @mariar3715 3 года назад +1

    Your friendship is so beautiful! Thats a life goal of mine, to find a friend that i feel this comfortable with that we could live together if need be. Friendships like that are so precious.

  • @wendyxkuma
    @wendyxkuma 3 года назад +7

    I am so excited for this video! I need some company tonight. :)

  • @BeaOptimistic
    @BeaOptimistic 3 года назад +1

    Love the dynamic the two of you have and your advocacy of healthy communication!

  • @kaileyofarrell5207
    @kaileyofarrell5207 3 года назад +1

    in the best way I already want more hannah julia combo content. organized or not. please and thank you :)

  • @viola3581
    @viola3581 3 года назад +3

    Hannah, you look incredibly lovely in this video...I think it’s because much of your beauty comes from the way you interact with someone. 😍✨

  • @islandbirdw
    @islandbirdw Год назад

    Forming, storming, norming and performing. Group dynamic when a new group begins.

  • @deniseconklin
    @deniseconklin 3 года назад +1

    It’s so interesting...I don’t think I had a real desire to watch this, but it was so fascinating and enjoyable. I love how you guys have taken so many steps to help make sure this is an optimal situation for everyone. I unexpectedly LOVED this!

  • @cecileganel
    @cecileganel 3 года назад +1

    I lived in a communal living situation for four years. There were two couples, a guy, and a girl, so six in all. We had others come and go, but that was the core group. We also had 2 cats and 5 dogs, all of this on 60 acres. We were all in our 30s except one mid 20s person.
    It was an amazing and loving situation most of the time. But holy heck was it exhausting, especially for me. This was due to not setting proper boundaries for myself, so I became the mom and captain of the ship for everyone in the home. It essentially became yet another full time job for me and I had two full time jobs already. Plus I did 99% of the communal food shopping and cooking. This made for an emotionally and physically exhausting living situation by the end of that time in my life.
    From listening to this video I can tell there was a big issue in our commune with considering money work and household work equal. There was also the expectation of me fixing communal problems, which again is due to many things, but me not putting boundaries in place is one of those issues.
    All of me sharing my story is to say that I believe that y’all are doing an amazing job of addressing things that I saw as an issue in my own communal living situation. I have zero regrets about living in such a way, and I would do it again with different parameters. But the hardships were very real.

  • @ameerahalgohary
    @ameerahalgohary 3 года назад +1

    The hour flew by so fast ❤️
    You're so fun to hang out with. This video was really interesting. And I'm so happy to see someone talk about domestic work as real work that takes time and effort and mental space.

  • @mynaja00
    @mynaja00 3 года назад +12

    I honestly think people are supposed to live like this. In small communities. Yes the 2020 is wierd but still...

  • @mlhguitar6444
    @mlhguitar6444 2 года назад

    watching them discuss the actual vs percieved value of labor......its like watching plato and aristotle talk but like...wayyyy better

  • @heatherwalsh7036
    @heatherwalsh7036 3 года назад +3

    You are both such lovely, beautiful and intelligent women! I had a baby in February and could relate to so much of what Julia said. Loved this video! ❤

  • @erikaherrmann3319
    @erikaherrmann3319 3 года назад +1

    Your guys clearly have a beautiful friendship. This video is such a hoot

  • @polychromist
    @polychromist 3 года назад +1

    What a wonderful video. You two are delightful! And I love the thoughtful way you’re working out the details of living together. 💖

  • @mallorytoresdahl3652
    @mallorytoresdahl3652 3 года назад

    The way you guys look at each other is so sweet you can really sense how much you both care for one another and I admire that deeply! True love and compassion for one another. You both are beautiful inside and out and I aspire to be such as strong, thoughtful, intelligent and hard working as the two of you are! Sending lots of love from Iowa! I can’t tell you how valuable your videos are to me for my personal growth and goals Hannah! I’ve been watching you since the beginning and you have add more value to my life than you could ever know, thank you ❤️

  • @darcyreadssometimes3904
    @darcyreadssometimes3904 3 года назад +3

    This was honestly amazing. I don't want children myself, but I'm attracted to some sort of communal living in the future. It's wonderful to see what that might look like. I will be following the future career of this video series with great interest. ;)

  • @drionaitalia
    @drionaitalia 3 года назад +1

    This was so interesting to me because I also live in a communal situation now, with four old friends. We have house outings and "supper club" (we have lunch together once or twice a week and almost always also Sunday lunch). I am so happy to live here. I love the company and also I would never be able to afford to live in such a beautiful place otherwise.

  • @harikamahendra
    @harikamahendra 3 года назад

    Julia seems like such a beautiful soul both inside out. It must be such a joy to be with her. Such friends are so rare to find. Lucky you!

  • @jessicabracho8509
    @jessicabracho8509 3 года назад +4

    Haven’t watched. SO HERE FOR THIS!!

  • @catherinepeck7025
    @catherinepeck7025 3 года назад

    I have been smiling so big for the past 57 minutes that my face hurts. And then, I cried a little bit. You are two brilliant women in all the ways of that word. Please give Julia a big hug from me. And also Joe and Ollie and that little one. xoxoxo

  • @abidavies154
    @abidavies154 3 года назад +1

    Can you tell julia that her hair is in fact #goals? It's beautiful :)
    I loved this video because it's so cool to see how much communication and friendship you all must have to be making this work. It's like a chosen family!
    It reminds me also how lucky we are in the UK that mother's have a years paid maternity leave so don't miss anything from the first year. It also reminds me of the research showing how critical the first 2 years of life is for a baby and how they are raised and are later in life. My sister, who lives in texas, has last month had a baby and it's so weird watching her struggle to come to terms with the fact that next month she has to leave her new baby and go back to work all day (as a law firm clerk) juxtaposed with my English sister who had 3 babies spaced perfectly so she was on maternity leave for 5 years essentially and didn't miss a jot.
    I'm sure your little one will grow up fantastic though as they're having so much care and attention from momma, their dad And their godparents!

  • @RaniaMich
    @RaniaMich 3 года назад +1

    It was lovely seeing how you interact, your friendship, mirrored in your mannerisms! :) Very insightful video, thank you, ladies!

  • @lkbmerlin6113
    @lkbmerlin6113 3 года назад

    Thank you so much for sharing. My family is very small and very close. We have a moto “you don’t know if I don’t tell you” because our lives are so interconnected it has been the catalyst for lots of open communication. Not just telling each other what might upset us, but also what we need as well as reminding each other to share our gratitude for thoughtfulness.

  • @bw07_r
    @bw07_r 6 месяцев назад

    Great conversation. These are the things we all should talk about in our relationships.

  • @rachellopez8357
    @rachellopez8357 3 года назад

    Those door signs 😍😍😍 I love all the honesty and heathy communication. It’s amazing!

  • @cymbrecolon
    @cymbrecolon 3 года назад +1

    This is by far one of the best videos you have ever shot

    • @cymbrecolon
      @cymbrecolon 3 года назад

      Also Julia looks stunning

  • @LisaDia14
    @LisaDia14 3 года назад +2

    It was very interesting to hear more about your communal living arrangement and how it works. You and Julia have a nice friendship! I was momentarily taken aback when you said that the baby is nine months old. It seems like it was just yesterday that Julia was on your channel picking products for the advent calendar for you!

    • @HannahLouisePoston
      @HannahLouisePoston  3 года назад +1

      I know! Also, little-known fact, in our FIRST video together ("my beautiful friend") she had just found out that she was pregnant!

    • @LisaDia14
      @LisaDia14 3 года назад

      Really? That is so nice! It makes that first video even that much more special for you!

  • @she_be
    @she_be 3 года назад +1

    Thank you both for sharing your experiences. So many thoughts, can't express them concisely right now, but so helpful to hear thoughtful people explain how they communicate in their relationships

  • @hoflandmm
    @hoflandmm 3 года назад +2

    Love hearing Julia talk

  • @andreabootsma8478
    @andreabootsma8478 3 года назад

    This was really interesting. I was part of a program in college called Project Neighbourhood that had a communal living element (except with people we didn't necessarily know beforehand) but that had a lot of structures for us to go through these kind of steps. one thing that helped in that situation was that we actually wrote a house covenant that laid out what our values and priorities were to have as a framework for our decision making (rather than just having rules as you discussed) It was helpful for us to have those values codified so we could reference them when working through conflict and decision making that we couldn't have forseen to make rules about
    I also think that there are elements about this that are helpful even without living with other people. The situation of the pandemic has changed a lot of relationships so that in my case I have a very small number of friends that I have made a pseudo-household with and we rely on each other in a much more intense way than when we could hang out with a larger number of people and we've really had to re-evaluate our expectations and our boundaries and accept our own neediness in various situations in a unique way even though we still live in three different apartments

  • @leticiadelbianco9916
    @leticiadelbianco9916 3 года назад +2

    OMG, TWO BEAUTIFUL, INTELIGENT AND POWERFUL GODDESSES

  • @magdalenadetoffol6406
    @magdalenadetoffol6406 3 года назад +1

    It was such a joy to watch. Thank you Hannah and Julia. ❤️

  • @maxell32y
    @maxell32y 3 года назад

    I‘v been waiting for this so long- and it’s a great video. Communication and affection are so important for living together. Also a similar way of life and values. Julia is such a warm person and beautiful on the outside, but most important of that - on the inside (just like you). I loved the part with Cordi and Sadie 😂, it gave me a huge smile. Thank you both for the time, something great came out of it.

  • @juthul
    @juthul 3 года назад +5

    Julia is so beautiful!

  • @elizabethroyerjohnson4992
    @elizabethroyerjohnson4992 3 года назад

    I love this so much! A lot of what you guys talked about reminded me of the way my partner and I had to kind of re-negotiate our norms and expectations once we both starting WFH in March. It really does raise the bar for dealbreakers!

  • @courtneycullen6289
    @courtneycullen6289 3 года назад +6

    I am immediately ordering and making the signs for my home office. Only my brown one would be a cat in a hedgehog shaped cat nest, based on our cat Nemo Simone who goes into her hedgehog when she CANNOT with the other cats or humans and just "Vants to be Alone" (and if you bother her, she will bite you). Then I wouldn't have to make pronouncements about being in my hedgehog today. I could just put up the door hanger (and not bite anyone).

  • @emmathomas6593
    @emmathomas6593 3 года назад

    If you are working on managing shared expenses, in general I've found the app Splitwise very useful! You create a group of people and enter expenses/receipts and it keeps track of the balance you owe each person. I've used it when traveling because it saves a lot of time but it might also work well in a shared living situation.

  • @rebeccamercado6254
    @rebeccamercado6254 3 года назад

    This was so fun to see you both and your interactions, and your love for one another! Thoroughly enjoyed it!💕

  • @misslillylovely1
    @misslillylovely1 3 года назад

    I love everything about this video, you guys are amazing together! Can’t wait to see more of Julia on your channel!

  • @lj1610
    @lj1610 3 года назад

    I love your videos with Julia!! Such a kind happy soul, very calming.. ❤️ Rewatching your “my beautiful friend” video now..

  • @KarenHarrismakeup
    @KarenHarrismakeup 3 года назад

    The outro was awesome... she nailed it 💜💜

  • @MIOLAZARUS
    @MIOLAZARUS 3 года назад +8

    This is just so nice. I feel so emotional about all of this - to see your friendship flourish in totally new and very meaningful ways❤ it's good to see Julia again; She is a delight.
    Well done guys! This is a Beautiful group 😍 makes my socialistic heart happy. And yes Julia is sooo pretty!!!!😍😍😍

  • @anotherlemontree
    @anotherlemontree 3 года назад +3

    The angle of Sadie's body at 0:07 is baffling. A conundrum.

  • @ChandaurRoshini
    @ChandaurRoshini 3 года назад

    Not telling someone how to parent, but I read 12 hours by 12 weeks to set my son’s sleep/nap/ food schedule and it has been life changing.

  • @catelyntalks
    @catelyntalks 2 года назад +1

    I'm the type of person to make the door signs lol my family's the type of people to take it offensively as if I'm tryna run the house 😂😵

  • @MadiThorne
    @MadiThorne 3 года назад +2

    Julia is so gorgeous 😭😭

    • @MadiThorne
      @MadiThorne 3 года назад +2

      Like I have NEVER seen anyone as naturally beautiful as her! She looks like she just got off a modelling set for a surfer-mermaid-goddess photography shoot

    • @HannahLouisePoston
      @HannahLouisePoston  3 года назад +1

      AGREE!

  • @abe5849
    @abe5849 3 года назад

    What a beautiful conversation. Julia-thank you for stating the having a flexible work schedule is a privilege. I’ve been a mom with a full time job for the past 17 1/2 years and this is the first time I’ve had the flexibility in my work life that is supportive to my mothering of 3 kids.

  • @meghannbw
    @meghannbw 3 года назад

    This is a great video! I love the dynamic. And I appreciate the living tips. What a great little system!

  • @mapleleaf1956
    @mapleleaf1956 3 года назад

    I am late to the comments here. I honestly thought that brown door sign was a bathroom warning. When I lived communally with a friend - which included shared bathrooms - we had bathroom warnings (a double flush) so that you didn’t follow someone in after ..... That sign would have been perfect. Great video. The personalities that you ascribe to your pets make wonderful stories.

  • @aimeeauguste6204
    @aimeeauguste6204 3 года назад +1

    This is truly so sophisticated and adult! x

  • @dianamccarthy2377
    @dianamccarthy2377 3 года назад

    🤗 I’ve been waiting for this video ever since you announced that you were intending to make it. Ahhhhhh. It’s only 7:30am, and I don’t have any wine but I have my coffee, so I’m ready!!!

  • @awesomelyizzy
    @awesomelyizzy 3 года назад

    I love this video so much! Maybe my favourite one that you’ve done. So interesting. And honestly I feel quite jealous, it sounds like a lovely situation in many ways. Excited for the future check ins :)