A mother's experience of losing her son to suicide
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- Опубликовано: 13 июл 2023
- Paul took his life at the age of 23. Two years on, his mum Alicia told us her story, in the hope that other parents would not have to go through the same experience. Read the full story: cna.asia/3O3i23L
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When a depressed person suddenly has energy and looks like they are getting better, that's when they are most vulnerable to suicide...
I suspect that's sadly true. It's their last pretense.
I don't have experience in suicide but I've quit my job a few times. You get a sense of relief when you make the decision to quit. It's like a burden has been lifted.
That is what u call a paradoxical suicide
Suicide at the start of recovery from depression.
It's like knowing that a person is already dead for 6 days, and seeing them waking up, or in other words, a zombie.
unfortunately this is true in a lot of cases. :(
I know him - we were at the same school. Never even thought for a single second that he’s suicidal. He was the happiest guy around who almost always had a smile on his face. RIP - you fought the good fight 😢
So sad
It‘s often the most happiest people who are the most broken ones.
@@MinhQuanBui2004..false
So the cause for his suicide is mental issues??
happiest guy… ah yes people really don’t truly care what’s going on and assuming that everything is normal 🤭🤗
A lesson I learned from my daughter when she was in high school. She said, mom I don't need you to solve everything for me. I just need you to listen and hear me. One of the most important thing that child has taught me.
Me personally agree with that because the important things i need the most from my parents are just a hug and they to listen at my story...
I remember, when I was 15, being suicidal... and telling myself, "Okay, if this is my lowest low, then I want to see what my life's highest high looks like." So I gave myself ten years. I lived my life with an "expiration date" in mind, but I really fought hard to make the best of it. And towards the end of the year after my 25th birthday had passed, I remember suddenly thinking to myself, "I made it pass the set deadline I had in mind... and my life is pretty darn fantastic."
I'm married. I have a kid. A loving family. I enjoy what I do for a living. I have dreams for my future.
Life is pretty darn good.
So if you're going through a low period in your life, please stick around... I'd love for you to see what your life's highest high would look like.
It does get better. Not immediately - but eventually, it will.
Thank you so much. This is so encouraging to us. ❤😊
Wish you happy life ❤
Don't lie...it doesn't get better.
@@See-if_I_carethat’s what I’m thinking but then again we have a negative mindset so we aren’t gonna take what’s she saying like it’s amazing
@@browniebitedelight I don't believe she was depressed or suicidal. I believe she was just going to a phase of being sad. There is a difference.
I don't have a negative mindset, just being realistic.
"I'm sorry I let everyone down".
No, you didn't. You were suffering and nobody could understand your suffering. Rest in peace.
He let everyone go and embraced what he felt was better for him. Blessed be the path he took. ❤
@@PositivelyNice okay,i died and the GOD question.....asking why?
@@PositivelyNice now my question is...who making who cry
@@PositivelyNiceBeautiful words ❤
RIP Paul.
10 years ago I lost my only son from suicide. He was almost 22year old and he was a lovely grandson and son to my father and I. Until now I still hurt a lot and cry every time thinking of Chris.
I am watching this video and I am sending you my warm hug and deeply love to you.
Chris is now doing well in his next beautiful life ma'am 🌻
may i know what are the cause ?
LLP
@@amylwin1271😅
I'm so, so, sorry for your loss. I hope he is in a better place now. R.I.P, and once again, so sorry to hear.
You are such a strong mom! Thank you for sharing a glimpse of your story and Paul’s as well.
Dear Asian and black parents,please dont push your kids away,don’t force them to be successful and also help them if you can. The world is lonely and painful.
Not all Asian parents are like this but… I agree.
Especially the “monster parents”
All my love goes out to Paul's mom. ❤
Blessings to you and your family and thank you for having the strength to share your story... and the work you are doing to honor your son.
Thank you for sharing your story with us. Sending you lots of strength to heal through this difficult time ❤
You know there's sign outside Japan's Suicide Forest that has a statement like, "Think of your families and friends before you yada yada yada....." I remember being angry when I heard that because I've contemplated suicide many times, almost everyday.... Why should people live for their "families" or "friends" if they are the ones that push you over the edge. Some of my worst memories are of my so called "family" belittling me or my mother abusing me. Finally what stopped me from taking that final plunge is realizing I needed to live for MYSELF and no one else. I needed to be happy for me, I wanted a future for me where I could be happy. I'm going to be selfish and it's okay to be selfish. A year ago I enrolled back into community college after dropping out 7 years ago. I have a steady job that I hate but it gets things paid. Life could be better but right now I am content.
I've read so many comments but yours is what I get this is how I've felt for such a long time that now I'm just tired
I am so sorry for Paul's loss. He was absolutely beautiful and sounds like he was extremely talented. You did nothing wrong. Sometimes, depression puts you into a fog and in that fog, you cannot hear anything but intrusive thoughts. I have been there; that is why I say this. I am going to pray for you and your family. I hope your daughter is doing okay without her brother and that she will understand this loss better one day. I send you all the love from North Carolina, USA.
@@user-ht9oc7gw1f Exactly, there has to be some reason why he committed suicide.
@@user-ht9oc7gw1f- How do you define toxic household? I believe Paul wasn't ill-treated or being abused by his parents. I believe all parents have love and concern with a parental rights over their children but we need to excercise them in moderacy. They need to 'let go a little and pull back a little of the string for freedom'..kids around this age longs for freedom and an identity, they heartily wanna quickly grow up and hoping not 'mess up' by their parents 'yes or no' to 'control' their lives. Actually we can be acting like friends to our kids, speak like friends, have fun like friends, behave like friends, and love like friends ❤ and share everything in their lives like friends..
@@user-ht9oc7gw1fthat is extremely rude and unnecessary to say. And very assumption based. There are so many reasons why he could’ve come to this point. And you have no idea so why speak on it?
A very brave mother. Thank you for sharing.
I am so sorry for ur loss this is so very sad.please don't blame urself you were a wonderful mom.Sending love to you x
So sad. My condolences to this mother who's now heartbroken over the sudden loss of her son. I wish her a lot of strength and hope everything will be fine someday
Ever mothers nightmare to loose a child. This mum was so courageous to share her experience with everyone . Our hearts go out to her and her family
@@ilovepomeranians4243working with teens for more than 20 years, I can tell you that blaming the mom is very wrong! Blaming Paul would be the same, wrong! It’s sadly more complicated than “hating” or “loving” your parents and life. I wish you never have kids, and if you do, this worst nightmare never becomes a reality in your life.
@@AndresPerez-tg9ms I agree with you 💯%. Well said! A lot of parents have and continue to put their love and support to their children. We also have challenges, but that doesn’t mean we stop supporting them. There are alot of factors they might be going through, that we might and may never understand. All parents can do is do our best to help them.
@@AndresPerez-tg9ms I'm a resident psychiatrist and work with children, teens, and young adults. The challenges that adolescents and young adults face in life never change. School, work, bullying etc... The only thing that changes are how their parents raise them, and how prepared they are to face those challenges with confidence and self-assurance. Most children, adolescents, and young adults that are suicidal come from parents that did not foster their confidence and self-assurance throughout their childhood. They were either berrated, or were overprotected and developed a sense of learned-helplessness. They don't feel safe sharing their problems to their parents, and a lot of them fear their parent's reactions. Many of them are also seeking validation from their parents, which is something that I can sense in this situation. Their parents love them, yes, but loving your children is not enough. You have to *raise* them to have enough confidence and love for themselves to be able to challenge their problems without turning internally.
When you have children, it's not about you, it's about *them.* It's not about how much you love your child, it's about how well you raise them to be confident, independent, and well-adjusted.
d nakakaawa ang tao ganyang pag iisip
@@AndresPerez-tg9mskarma sa anak yan buti nga
What a beautiful boy …I am so sorry for your loss.
My heart is with you and the depth of sadness you are going through.
I remember one of my colleague whom also attempted suicide once told me that he didnt want to end his life, but to end all the pain... May this young man RIP and no longer suffer in pain anymore
I will ask for the CPF.😂😂😂😂😂😂😂. 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉.
@@tankman20064?! Great disrespect
Jesus Christ (The Eternally Existing Son of God, God The Son, Savior, Christ) promises eternal life ONCE you believe he died for your sins, was buried, rose again the 3rd day! Once Saved Always Saved! You can't lose your salvation once you believe on Jesus Christ alone! Salvation is forever and salvation can't be lost!
@@ZacharyLittle777you guys killed jezus right soo go away with that from here please
So sorry for the loss of your beautiful son. Prayers & peace to you, lovely lady.❤
Heartbreaking. So sorry.
Great advice, momma ❤
It's so sad, but thank you for sharing your story Alicia...
I am so sorry for your loss.😢
Thanks for sharing this story and keeping his memory alive. He was so young and there are so many pressures in life and during lockdown the news stories compunding everyone never mind such young minds. Its so tragic and you must free yourself of any guilt and untangle hidden emotions with family counselling if you havent had it. You must keep his memory alive. He seemed like a lovely guy. I wish you and your family the strength, happiness and determination to live your lives happy and that is being true to yourselves 🙏
Condolences to the family.. RIP ❤
I attempted suicide & survived, and I'd like to share differing view: It isn't always about having a listening ear (which is why the SOS hotline doesn't work for me). Sometimes it doesn't matter if you listen & truly want to help, no matter how you try, one may not really understand what a person is going through with depression. We can talk someone out of sadness, but not depression. Depression is difficult to explain, sometimes they're simply brain chemicals haywire, beyond the control that any chat can solve. At the same time, pushing someone to see doc may cause unnecessary emotional rides. Even if one is to see doc eventually, eat medication, it would only alleviate & not solve depression completely. I guess no amount of years/studies is enough to find a 100% cure for our complex human brain.
Just live by the day, and hope one day our willpower can grow to be stronger than our haywire brain cells.
@metoo0717 - Thank you very much for your sharing. Can you also share your journey to "recovery" ? If you were asked to "counsel" somebody in the throes of depression, what would you do (and NOT do) ?
@@vincentho3964I wouldn’t say I’ve answer to your question, as I’m still exploring. Other than taking psychiatric medication, I found some useful self-help techniques to relieve. A peaceful environment will help. One-to-one accompaniment may help (but don’t make the depressed person talk when they don’t initiate themselves-cause it may mean the person simply doesn’t have extra mental capacity to talk), maybe just ask the person to go for a walk with you OR offer to drive them to a beach/garden, prepare food & simple sport games to help the person get active physically. When the person finally wants to talk, DON’T JUDGE (this is the most common mistake)- most ppl thought they twist their words around to make it sound better, but the deeper meaning still carry judgment within- most ppl think that depressed ppl “choose to” overthink, but don’t understand that it’s beyond control due to haywire brain cells at work.
This is a long journey for the person & caregiver. So don’t expect miracles to happen anytime soon. Instead of getting disappointed that the person is still depressed after a long time, you should be proud that the person managed to stay alive for another year.
I hope you are ok and believe you will be ok!
@@metoo0717 this is a very insightful knowledge coming from someone who has to deal with depression. I will be more mindful of that when I am with people who are down and depress, Thank you .
❤
Alice, you are a strong mommy, I am sorry for your lost. It is really appreciated to share your experience & helping other families which are facing the same situation.
Stay strong ma'am
Condolences to family
Thank you for sharing your story and exposing your vulnerability. Suicide is so difficult to understand, grasp, and accept. No one ever thinks they’ll lose anyone to suicide, but sadly it’s something we should bring to light. I lost my brother last year to suicide, the pain is unbearable, unimaginable, and just simply heart breaking. I pray you find peace with Paul’s passing and that he is at peace 🙏🏽🌻
I am so sorry. May your family grow even closer and stronger in this tragedy. Thank you for sharing.
I'm sorry for your loss
My sincere condolences
Very sorry for your loss and thank you for courageously sharing your story.
Please don't blame yourself because you had done your best. Stay strong for your other 2 kids.
Mother study Buddhism.
@@zhamiladamn2975she probably feels guilty
@@kgan4733 she is. You can see it in her face.
1. You cannot assume that.
2. Only when we lose something do we miss it.
It was entirely her fault. Why do you think he was so unhappy at home and tried to stay away?
I'm so sorry for your loss, Alicia.
I'm sorry about your son. May rest in peace. Amen.
honestly, this is the only thing that is preventing me from taking my own life. i cant stand to leave my mother in this state. She is more important than my happiness. Thank you to Alicia for sharing her and paul's story. It may have prevented my own suicide.
I am in the same position.
My mom is also more important to me than I am. And she needs me. I cant abandon her.
Find solace in God
@@user-oh6wb5rj2q If God is truly all-powerful he could end all of their suffering immediately, but for some reason he doesn't so he can go to hell for all I care.
please stay strong and have faith , it may look tough now but the effect will subside and gradually will go away. It's not gonna last forever.
I’m not in such a dark place anymore thankfully but that was my sole reason for staying here at the time; I could not put my parents through the horror of losing me that way.
Rest in peace Paul. I hope whereever he is, he is at peace. No one can know the battles and wars he was fighting. I hope his family can find peace too, that it wasn't their fault and they couldn't have known if they could do more. Alicia is so strong. May she continue to be a strong support for her family and other families also suffering the loss of a family member.
oh my precious Paul - RIP in heaven. may lord bless you and your family :(
Sorry for your loss 😢
I attempted suicide on Christmas Day in 2016. I was 20. I went to our building's rooftop and climbed the railing. I wasn't really thinking of anything. I just felt empty. I've been battling depression for months by then and on our way home from church at that time, my mother gave alms to a beggar and idk, the scenario just struck me and I thought it was time for me to go and my mother would be ok even without me. So when I went home and my family was busy entertaining our relatives, I went to the rooftop. When I was about to jump, I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket and it was my mom texting me where I was. I took a deep breath and headed back to our house with no one in my family knowing they almost lost me.
Over the years, I learned to hang on with this kind of thought: look forward to something every second, minute, or hour--whether it's something huge like a get-together or something trivial like the airing of your fave show's new episode. It helped me personally.
Bless you. ❤️❤️❤️🕊️🕊️🕊️
Am so so sorry to hear that.. Be strong..
I'm sorry for your loss.
I am sorry for your loss xxx
So sorry for your lost Alicia. I hope your family is coping well.
Very sorry for your loss.
What a cute boy. My deepest condolences to his family and friends. 💔💔
that's so sad!! 😞💔 I send her love!
My sincere condolences to this mother and family, I have 4 children and always hope and pray for my kids and every other family out there, that you don't ever have to loose someone in this way. I lost my only brother to suicide, he was 19 yrs old and you never get over it. It destroyed my parents and my father died a year later from grief. Thank you for sharing your story, with all my love and Gods' Blessings may his soul RIP
How did your father die?
@@Trixiesongzxoxofrom a broken heart.
RIP to you too
So sorry for her loss. It's very strong and courageous of her to share her story and help others.
Rip paul🙏💐 condolences to his family.
The scariest part is a person can be happy and still want to commit suicide.
My condolences for your loss. Stay strong for your other kids. They need you more than ever. Sometimes it’s some knots one cannot get past that leads to that. Life has always been tough.
I am so sorry. This is so sad. Paul is a beautiful boy. He loved you very much.
So sorry for ur son....my deep condolences are with u....May his soul rest in peace....
Moral of the story. No one cares until its too late.
I’m trying so hard not to end my life but it’s so hard and living everyday is painful. I don’t want my family to be hurt.
Don't be worry about it. Do it🤡🔫
@@goodguy4941don't encourage suicide
I actually could be gone right now, if only I'm not afraid of pain.
😢😢😢
How very brave this lady is. My heart goes out to her, her family and her son.
Thanks for sharing this tragic incident. My condolences to you. Paul is now in a better place where depression no longer bothers him while time will eventually heal your pain
I lost my son to suicide 8 years ago. Maybe I should say I lost him to schizophrenia because that's the illness he was suffering from. Eventhough my son told me after diagnosis he didn't think he was going to make 30, he was 26 then, I could never imagine 2 years later he would jump to his death. As a parent you're never prepared for the death of your child. It's the most soul destroying. I feel for every parent who has lost their child. No matter how...
The only thing keeping me alive right now is my family. I wish someone would replace me and I could just stop existing in this world, without making any of my loved ones sad.
I just want to give her a hug.... I know she tried her best as a mother 😢❤
Having Indian parents was hard for me, being constantly reminded that you are not good enough - I was an average student with dusky skin and am still slightly overweight. Being a girl I was constantly reminded of how I can be more beautiful if my color was 2 shaded on the fairer side. Yeah colonization has fu*ked up our society. Plus the constant strain of how to become a doctor and how my grades were not matching up made me constantly think if I should just kill myself. I used to cut myself to feel physical pain rather than mental pain because of these issues. Desperation was a huge part when I was 12 to 16. I left home at 17 for higher studies and choose fashion as my field after failing to get into medicine. I am in a much good place now. My parents have also stopped since I am earning good and staying out in a different city. We have an okayish relationship, they complain about why I am not close to them enough. But I guess they have also accepted that maybe I am more of an introvert kind. I am sure they don't realize how harmful their parenting was at a point. After growing up I have also realized that Indian middle-class families want their children to succeed with jobs that are on a higher pay scale since they have suffered having maybe not enough money. But they fail to notice how small kids get affected by the too much stress and pressure that they put up with. Fortunately, I was strong enough that I didn't act on my thoughts and had a really good friend circle who kept me happy while I was in school. This is like 1 of the generational trauma that gets broken down by each passing generation.
Depression is a horrible beast. This woman went through hell. I am sorry and I hope she is well.
So sorry, mom! R.I.P. sweetie...🙏💗😢
Our hearts go out to Alicia and family. You know how precious each and every Singapore born child is to the parents and our Singapore families and to keep our community on.
I lost my mom to suicide due to depression at the start of this year even after constant help from IMH and from the family, can fully understand the pain she is going through.. Stay strong Mdm!
Do you know that IMH has the worst treatment and worst facility ever
@@93hothead Dude. Pls stop.
@@93hothead they are doing their best. At least they have somewhere to go so family can have a break
Please refer to the sharing by @metoo0717. It is not easy to help.
condolences for your loss
Thank you for sharing
Relate much ..the same feeling when I lost my son ..he end his life ..super pain ..it was my faults that I never know he was already suffering depression..almost 3 years now but everyday I remember him ..I hope someday we meet again and tell him that I love him so much & so sorry for everything 😭😭😭
Rest in peace, Paul. I hope you will find that peace. It's really sad when people take their own life. What they're thinking, we may not know the feelings and emotions they're going through. I know the pain of losing a brother to suicide. I felt angry and was guilty for not trying harder to be there for him. Why people do the things they do, we will never know. I hope this mother will find solace and peace with her family. ❤❤❤❤
I have been thinking of suicide as well quite often because I cannot accept or heal from past trauma 😢life can be hard for so many of us for vary different reasons.
My heart goes out to anyone who has experienced the loss of someone to suicide💔the reason they do it is because they cannot cope anymore with life 😢😢😢
@@NurulDyssonI hope you are feeling better now
@@matthasch847 I don't feel 💯 better just yet.I feel I need counselling because for one person to go through so many bad things in their life & constantly feel useless,worthless is a burden that is heavy to carry... 😞
@@NurulDysson Suicide is never a solution for escape. Do u want to ever walk out and find happiness and lead the rest of your life happy or be stuck in this cycle and be haunted and making yourself feel so low. No matter how difficult/painful, look at those with lives even more difficult/painful than yours, they have the courage to live on and be happy everyday. Look at them. Even if you have a thousand friends who comfort and reassures you, they can hold u for once but if u wouldn’t want to face and overcome the issue, then im sorry to say no one can help you. Everything lies within you. Past alr has passed, no matter what you do now it cannot change. If u ever wanted things to change in the future, why not think abt how to let it change and try things with a different mindset? How many times u tried even bef u concluded that u have failed?
Many people who experience suicide loss are often regretful of not being there for them until it's too late. People are good at concealing their suffering and true feelings and you can also experience happiness in the state of depression.
I don't really speak for everyone and I'm not a psychiatrist. I'm really sorry for your loss
Oh dear.. thank you for sharing this. Mental health is so real. Take care mommy.. mental health is more difficult to fix than other types of health issues
Losing your love one’s to suicide it’s heartbreaking and hard to let go. Their memories will cherish forever memories families. Praying all souls suicide .
I am SO very SORRY you and yours are having to cope with your son's suicide. I understand your pain and all the emotions you mention because I am living the same pain. My son Aaron took his life. He was 25😢
It’s so painful to hear and I just can’t believe the lovely /smiley boy Paul could have any issues- that’s the sickness! 😢My tears rolled as this courageous mum was speaking, it must be so challenging to even speak. Thanks for the support you’re giving others. This awareness video is crucial for all of us. Many thanks Alicia and CNA❤️❤️❤️💐💐💐
You have done your best. Stay strong for your family and thanks you for helping other families too as well. I agree, we tend to be so gan cheong to find solutions for them that we forgotten to listen and we over worry especially in Singapore. My heart goes out to you and your family.
when I was 23, I tried to kill myself but I held back as I didnt want my parents to feel miserable. Now I’m 27, i work on recovery from mental health, and do a part-time job. I have no plan for marriage yet, as I cant handle stress well.
Singaporean here and although I don't know and never met this man, he literally seems harmless and nice and friendly enough as a normal person, and he actually has such a nice smile. This is tragic and he was so so so young. (I'm 25 now and sometimes also have suicidal thoughts due to my current life status (jobless, health problems, some fam problems, regrets/guilts from my past). I may not fully understand all his problems and pain ((no one can ever fully understand anothers' pains/problems, but I can at least say that I KNOW how painful the depression/stress/guilt/regret is. I WISH no pain of that sort on ANYONE just cause I know how much it hurts)) This is nth but a tragedy I have nth more to say . I truly hope he is in peace and forever be in rest happily . Am sorry to hear this .
Take care 🙏
I hate how suicide is always on the back of my mind. Its scary to think that my depression is going to beat me one day.
I'm sorry for her loss.
Right I have those thoughts too and there could be a chance one day that might happen to me
I'm also having same situation
yes.. now we can still fight it but as time goes by, the desire is getting stronger and stronger. hopefully we can continuously fight it out if it triggered..
Sending good vibes to you guys.
please before you ever get to that final step, get help (this is the obvious one, but it really is necessary). and if you find yourself still stuck in that hole, change your setting, change your friends, do anything... life is filled with suffering, but taking things a day at a time and trying out all potential options just might be worth it..
Asian parents, stop putting pressure upon your children to climb social ladder for your status.
The most important thing should be your child must be happy and wont be looked down upon by u.
So sorry to hear pray for him and u.
There's a reason why he was trying his best to stay away from home. I remember being suicidal and telling my mom if she doesn't allow me to leave. I would kill myself. She was in complete denial of her extreme toxicity that made it nearky impossible to co exist without completely neglecting myself to make her happy.
Yes i feel bad for the mother but there must be more to this story. Parents are always gung ho of imposing their will even if its harmful. And wonder why their children are suffering from depression and anxiety constantly...
.
I 100% believe you because I've been through the darkness myself and I know how it works. I made many comments on this video sharing the same sentiments as you. It's very unfair to the deceased child when people comment that the parent was an amazing mother and tried her best etc. Those are lies, or half-truths at best, that dishonour the child's painful experiences. Singaporeans are extremely behind in their understanding of mental health. Having personally experiences the darkness, I agree with these three quotes (by psychiatrist M. Scott Peck):
“For the most part, mental illness is caused by an absence of or defect in the love that a particular child required from its particular parents for successful maturation and spiritual growth.”
“The feeling of being valuable -- "I am a valuable person" -- is essential to mental health. It is a direct product of parental love. Such a conviction must be gained in childhood; it is extremely difficult to acquire it during adulthood. Conversely, when children have learned through the love of their parents to feel valuable, it is almost impossible for the vicissitudes of adulthood to destroy their spirit.”
“It has been further suggested that the absence of love is the major cause of mental illness and that the presence of love is consequently the essential healing element in psychotherapy.”
0:38 and 1:12 are major red flags to the discerning and experienced eye. Many parents have no idea the amount of pain/darkness they can inflict on their children. Many Singaporean parents are emotionally unhealthy, unhealed, and unconsciously passing down generational trauma. I bet this young man fought very hard to stay afloat in his circumstances. As for you, please know that you're not alone and there are others like me who see the truth. ❤
Exactly my first thoughts. It's hard for me to feel sympathy knowing first hand just how controlling, over bearing and toxic asian parents are. How was she really confused?
I am sorry to hear of your loss Alicia. Do feel grief if you need to. I am 24 years old now, had several not-so-good suicidal attempts, which is overdosage of medication, and till now I still find it hard to live life.
Hearing Paul's story makes me reflect on some things I feel, think and do. I will take some time to internalise knowing this tragedy.
Have you tried seeking professional help? I hope you feel better soon and find life worth living. Take care.
@@fluffdepuff1921 I have been seeking professional help since diagnosis at age 17 turning 18. I have been finding ways to live
@@liewsoonhao4643have you read the bible? Please take your time to read it. Read the new testament. God loves you. I was a lost soul before he had lift me up and gave me confidence where i had non, gave me strength to look after my family. Please look for him.
❤ May the good Lord guide you
Thank you for this video.
Very emotional, logical to the point issues as always I find on CNA & nowhere else 👍🏼🙏🏻
I don't know if I should say this but I mean it coming from a place of well meaning of some sorts.
As someone who struggles with mental health for god knows how long, the thought of suicide comes and goes. It improves with age but to be honest, nothing much changed over the decades. You simply learn how to cope.
I can't speak for all who suffers from depression/mental health but this is my take on it.
It is a constant battle between the highs and the lows. The feeling of living and the feeling of wanting death/freedom.
The highs are when you feel emotionally up lifted. You feel super motivated. Like you are ready to want to improve your life, go chase your dreams, live life like a regular person. Get a good career, find a partner, get married and all that stuff.
The idea of self improvements would feel so good, the rush is surprisingly refreshing. The idea of being functional and motivated.
However, that high would sometimes crash in a matter of minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years.
That's where the lows comes kicking down the doors.
Sometimes, suicide is just a passing thought. Sometimes, you really contemplate the idea of doing it but fear kicks in and survival mode prevents you from actually doing it until it doesn't.
When the feelings strike, life feels meaningless, hopeless, tiring and all you feel is lost, a coldness gripping you at the bones at random timings that sends you into an anxiety mode and all you want to do is retreat and when there's no where to retreat, some would often act out with anger or self harm(mentally, physically, emotionally)
We don't expect regular people with a fairly healthy mental state to understand us. Heck, we can barely understand it ourselves. But one thing for sure though... Don't feel the guilt. It's not your fault. It's not his either. Mental health problems simply suck. Just like any other severe health problems. So just carry on living your life. Just remember him for the good times you had together. I believe that's what he wishes for as well.
I feel the same way.
@NupplesRampage You describe here the characteristics of your personal depression cycles very clearly. You are highly observant and aware of your varied cycles of highs and lows over a long period of time, and what impacts these have on your life. The patterns you describe are suggestive of a Bi-Polar form of Depression. /So Uni-Polar Depression = One Pole. The person only experiences the low features of Depression. Bi-Polar = Two Poles. The person's depression CYCLES (in their unique personal pattern) between the low characteristics and the abnormally energised, confident, risk taking qualities of a high mood. /Bi-Polar versions of depression can be complex to understand, to track your personal cycle, to learn to identify your own stressors and triggers, and to explain the RANGE of your moods, thoughts and physical functions to family and friends. /One of the most honest and empowering RUclips makers I've seen can be found on an American site called 'Polar Warriors'. This man has a mission to share what he has learned through the challenges of his own mental health journey. He is not a doctor or psychiatrist. But he has been in the care of plenty over the years. He makes videos from his own life and first hand experience. At times, he is at a low point in his cycling, and unable to make videos or connect with his subscribers. He and his team are fully honest when this is the case. He steps back from any form of diagnosis, recommendations or analyses of different medication regimes. (All he does say is that after many years of trial and error with both 'self-medicating' (use of alcohol and drugs) and a series of pharmaceutical medications, he has found a drug regime that works best for him currently.) You may possibly find some things in his videos that you recognise. I wish you well.
@@comealongcomealong4480good to know
Try carnivore diet to heal your depression or research about GAPS diet to heal your Gut Microbiome
Thank you for this thoughtful comment
I knew Paul, worked with him at a gardening centre back in 2016. He was such a nice boy. You will be missed Paul.
Thank you for sharing your heartbreaking story. 😢❤
Such a handsome young man. So sad. RIP 🙏🏾
People go through a lot inside their head...just try to be BE KIND 🌻
I’m so sorry for the loss of your son 😢 I’ve been suicidal my entire life since childhood, when i found out what dying was. Recently, I’ve lost the most important people in my life to tragedy and have had suicidal ideations because the grief is so unbearable at times. Watching your story has helped me to stay alive. Sending you much love and compassion ❤
Your not alone keep going strong no matter what happens in situations 💪
*sending you hugs* i hope things get better for you
@@jiminssocks1220 Thank you! i hope the same for you and everyone going through grief 💗
@@calvenkit7233 Thank you! Much 💜
Have you recelty spoke to your psychiatrist or PCP? There are many treatment options beyond pills, like Spravato and TMS.
listening is much more important and caring than giving solution...
I just lost my mum 3 weeks ago. She was elderly. I can't imagine how this lady went through to loose her loved one who was at such a young age. I am sorry to hear your loss, lady.
condolences.
My condolence
😞😞
🙏
I'm so sorry for your loss.
It's heartbreaking
I have a child who struggles with mental health and acceptance in society.
Thank you for your advice to just listen, because you're right, these kids know what's right and what's wrong. They don't need to hear that. They just want someone to listen.
Peace and love to you and your family xxx