Talking to My Mum About the Time I Attempted Suicide | Can Ask Meh?
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- Опубликовано: 14 май 2024
- For many teenagers, self-harm and suicide are issues they avoid discussing with others, let alone parents whom they may think will misunderstand or dismiss them.
In this episode of "Can Ask Meh?", we talk to three parent-child pairs to learn how they’ve navigated through their struggles together.
This video was made in collaboration with the Health Promotion Board of Singapore.
Thank you to Karen, Sofilia, Kevin and their parents for sharing their story with us.
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This is Kevin here. Thanks OGS for the opportunity and the kind comments :) If anyone reading this is struggling (be it parent/child), know that with time, professional help and thinking shifts, things can get better. I love and appreciate you ❤ I shared what happened a decade ago in this video, but recently went through a very unexpected relapse. It's been a really tough battle but am working hard to overcome it again with support from my parents too. Whoever you are, you're not in this totally alone. Let's do this 💪Once again, I love and appreciate you❤ Take good care :)
Thank you for being so brave in sharing your inspiring story. The relationship with your dad is so so beautiful :') Recovery is never an easy journey. It's great that you have such a great support system :) Wishing you all the best in everything you do! God bless and take care xx
Thank you for your openness and vulnerability. You got this, we're rooting for you! 💪
You're v brave and what you shared will go a long way to help and encourage others with similar struggles. Sorry to hear things are rough now but I believe you will weather the storm and become even stronger. God bless you!
Jiayu Kevin, U CAN DO IT!!!
Always Remember u have great parents. Wishing u ALL the BEST & STAY STRONG. 🥰
Hi Kevin, hope you allow me to share with you (not telling you what to do but just let you know only and you can accept or don't accept, it's ok). My son is also late in completing his studies and lament he is already old compared with others in NS but I kept telling him what is 2 years delay in a whole life time. Luckily he was not suicidal, in fact, he is doing well in varsity now because he is more mature so studying is easier. So please do not be disheartened, your success will come one day, you never know.
Also, please look into taking supplements. Sometimes the mood is very much due to nutrient deficiency. You really need to get under the sun (or take Vit D) and also have cardio exercise, these two are absolutely important to people who are prone to depression.
the father-son relationship between Michael and Kevin is what I wished my relationship with my parents were like. It's never easy to express how I feel with my parents because none of them are good listeners, they are always trying to end the conversation quickly because it starts getting awkward. Somehow they just don't understand why we can't "get over" certain things and they don't believe in depression, despite my dad's brother being diagnosed with it. I hope I'll be a better parent when it comes to my own child.
Sorry to hear this. I wish you strength and wisdom in your journey ahead. Your pain may become a purpose someday and I'm sure you'll be a great parent
Same.
I also don't open up to my parents since most of the time, they'll remind me of what a failure I am, and what I'm an absolute burden for them.
This is one of the reasons why I won't have children.
Same. When I tell my parents I want to kms they just say “jump la, I know u wouldn’t bc ure a coward”. They always take the side of my bullies. When I was beaten up at primary 1 by 3 p3 boys, my parents just say it must be my fault bc why they beat me up and not other kids.
You don't need to hope,you will be a better parent because you already know all the feelings you had while growing up. Stay strong you are needed on this planet even if you feel that you don't.much love always x
@@embershen364I know a random person over the internet saying this won’t do much, but you deserve WAAAAYYYY better. I don’t even know you and I know that for sure. Keep fighting, do your best, live for yourself, ground yourself. Find a path that helps ground you when you start to go astray, we love you, though your parents may not. Don’t let them hurt you, live. And keep living.
Kevin’s dad is a fine example of good parenting. Love and support your children no matter what, raise them with love so they are come to you if something bad is happening. Your reaction to your children’s problems can make or break them
My son and my daughter have same love, but I don't need to show that I love A than B .😊
i agree
"they raised me with love rather than fear. so i never really had that barrier." that hit so hard
I am a puddle of tears. All of these conversations hit so close to my heart and these people all worked so hard together to forge better relationships.
i feel like you guys should also invite teens who do not have a good relationship with their parents who are struggling with their mental health too perhaps it will be more inclusive to film an episode about unsupportive parents/teens who fought a way out for themselves because they had no one else to help (eg. Bad teachers and emotionally abusive parents)
Hmm... wouldn't that be parent shaming etc? Is that really necessary or helpful? This video does serve as a powerful reminder to parents etc to show care, understanding and support to children going thru mental health challenges.
@@hemjoo hello! cos im struggling w my mental health predominately due to family issues (currently in the process of getting a diagnosis) i felt like if i saw other teens who are similarly dealing with strained relationships with parents i’ll find comfort knowing that i’m not alone if you understand
@@hellohelloheyy ❤❤❤ hugs to you
@@hellohelloheyy that's the example of the girl with her mom, not the one with the hijab. The mom seemed to contribute a lot to her depression and she said "I forgive you" to her mom
@@hemjoo no not necessarily. It depends how it'll be presented.
It would be insightful for a lot of ppl about disfunctional fmmiliy styles and so on. There is indeed many times the "blame" on the parents. I don't like that word cos one needs to look even further back into their (parents) upbringing and what went on in their lives.
Cos at the end - we are formed in our early years of our lives and this formations will be the drive on how we live and think and act and so on.
I'm speaking here about ACEs Adverse Childhood Experiences to which emotional neglect counts as well.
It's a very deep topic.
But as I said it should be without shaming and considering the pains and potential unsolved traumas or maybe traits of personality disorders of those parents but rather as a helpful insight for others to maybe finally realise that they too have got things not right.
okay but the hijabi girl is so gorgeous!! like i genuinely couldn't stop staring at her!
also karen's mom character development was so heartwarming, not all parents are that willing to open up their minds to hear their children out.
SO TRUE, IM IN LOVE WITH HER MOM, ITS JUST A LOT OF CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT
Kan, i also think she was gorgeous!! Cantik kot
as someone who has similar experience with karen, it hurts and hard to open up to them because like what karen said "everytime i talk to dad and mom, yall would scold me" , that really hit a nerve within me and my parents since communication wasnt common with my parents since i always hid my feelings from them to avoid conflict. But to all people who experience the same as the teenagers, i wish yall are more happy
when you grow up, you realise its alot on intergenerational trauma that's got nothing to do w u first
My mum usually says to ‘deal with it.’ Or, ‘Why are you sad?’
15:52 the fathers “no, i was never ashamed of you. never” got me 😭
hearing parents admitting their weaknesses and vulnerability is something that makes my heart feel warm. I am so happy for you guys, I would never be able to get that from my parents. sobs
I'm literally crying in the library and had to stop it before my tears got out of control. Kevin's father really had put a lot of thought into understanding his child and things he had never been exposed to before.
Omg me too.
The strength that all 3 pairs of interviewees display is really admirable, to be so open and brave on the internet, for all to see.
They’ve put aside all fears of judgement and gossip to share a story so close to their hearts. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
I hope this video reaches the people who need it the most.
9:32 I have the same experience. My mom is beautiful, fair and extroverted. Everyone loves her and many are jealous of her so they would always make remarks about my appearance and how I have dark skin and pity me for turning out the way I did. I never disliked my dark skin and never will but these people, family and non-family members would make me feel the need to hate myself for turning out "ugly" but they can never convince me. Allah has made me and therefore I am beautiful.
You don’t deserve that. You are special!
keep thinking!! never let these good for nothings drag you down, you are so beautiful and they should know better than shame you for something so dumb
I can sort of relate to Kevin.. Growing up , I had severe ADHD which absolutely destroyed me in my studies. I had to take medication throughout schooling to just let myself focus on studies in my secondary school days. I am adopted but still remained in contact with my blood father but we were on bad terms to the point where we could not hold a conversation for barely 2 minutes before we start arguing.
My foster parents are old. When I was 14 , they were already nearing 60s so during my upbringing , communication wasn't great either. Secondary school was the worst time in my life tbh. I was split from my primary school friends , and was very angry. I did not want to make any friends during secondary school , and throughout the years I felt I didn't belong in Express stream as I felt I could talk more with the NA NT people. But being split and all , it didn't progress much and the people in my class started to pick on me by excluding me in things and throwing me aside.
It didn't help that my foster father had to go to prison when I was 14 . Leaving just me and my foster mum. My mum was depressed and I lost all hope in going to school and started having sleep issues which affected my studies more. In my O levels , I flunked the math exam so badly that I just sat there for 3 hours(additional time for ADHD people) and barely completed 5 pages.
I went home that day , and broke down the second I saw my mum . We never expressed emotions in this family so that was a first for me. Knowing that I was in O levels that period , my mum told me , 'Fail then fail la. Just take whatever route is left and try again. If studying isn't what I think I can do , then get my ass up and go to work. Find a source of income and become a 打工仔. No one will look down on you in this family. Your life is not dictated by your studies.'
I was quite shocked but found comfort in her words , knowing what she is still going through. I persisted and completed ITE . But fell into a pit of darkness again. I attempted suicide. I broke my ankle and my spine but luckily i was 5mm away in my spine to being paralyzed for life. Lied in hospital for 3 weeks which all sorts of tubes in me , had to go through multiple surgeries, and could barely move. I had to lie in bed , at home for about 4 months before I could regain movement without being in so much pain. I tried to go the toilet once and just fainted on the floor. My mother came back with me on the ground , being unable to move. Singlehandedly carried me , (bear in mind , i'm 60+kg where she was only 40) on the bed and told me to never move on my own. She had to bath me , feed me and take care of all the needs etc. Nothing was said about my suicide attempt but through her actions I understood something. That I was being selfish. She had to carry the household alone and I was not making it any better.
That's when I thought back about her words. In the end of my first year of ITE after my injury. I decided to not pursue further studies , So i got a part time job and juggled it till I've barely graduated ITE (GPA of just 2) and continued on my job. I've been offered a permanent position there , worked there for 4 years and moved on to other industries and am happy with where I am now.
One thing i've realised is , by dying , it is always the easy way out. Dying solves everything yes because you no longer feel anything , you don't exist. But what you don't see is , your parents sadness and the people who cared about you. It is a extremely selfish way. Whatever decisions you make , think of the outcome , not only for you but the people around you. Don't make decisions based on yourself. When you want make a decision in life , make sure to to think it through , knowing that this is what you want and what will come out of it and what it will lead in the future , then go ahead then only truly you can say , you've lived life without regrets. A person will go through many phases in life , don't make decisions in the heat of the moment. Like now , I look back during my dark times and realized , it could've been so much better if I didn't act that way and opened up to my friends. But now , the people whom I didn't want to talk to , are the best friends I can ever have in my life and they always check up on me now and then.
Thank you for opening up about your struggles
Thank you for sharing your story here. So heartened to see this comment space be like a community where we support each other with our own vulnerabilities. There’s so much strength in this🥹
you're awesome okay!!!
I’m rooting for you! Glad you made it through your struggles in the past and wish you have a wonderful life ahead!! 🌻
Suicide isn't selfish. You *weren't* selfish for attempting suicide. Nobody is!
Your mom carrying you and taking caring of you is expected because she's your mon and you deserve that care! You don't think of her pain the way you think of yours, why? You're both equal and worthy of love and life.
You do NOT need to invalidate yourself to find meaning in life again and appreciate life, it will only do the opposite in the long term. I am so glad you survived being nearly paralyzed. I hope you find healing, worth, love, and help. Just remember you're inherently worthy for being a human on this earth.
8:35 wow... this is exactly what I want to hear from my mom. I am 33 (going 34) and I still feel the same way as Karen. I don't bother to share because I don't think they understand. Probably the generational gap is exacerbated by me being on the spectrum (not diagnosed but I HIGHLY suspect), and that my parents and I grew up in different countries (Indonesia and Singapore).
Facing the same as you, there’s a gap in communication and my mom is Indonesian too🙂. Approached her years before to talk about my attempts but nothing changed. Got scolded really bad instead. Now I’m just living with it which is so hard for me sometimes when the negativity strikes again
@@lixinnn it must be hard and the fact that you are from different generations and different upbringing makes it hard for your mum to understand your pain bc where she comes from and at her time you had to suffer in silence and keep going and now that things have changed is hard for her to adapt I think.
I still think you are amazing for enduring all this pain but please remeber that she loves you and she has her own way of expressing it even if it can be hard and feel unbearable sometimes.
I hope you and your mum will be able to came to a point where you can share everything and feel understood.
Wish you the best!!
The relationship between the boy and the dad is admirable! How he said he was brought up with love and not fear. 👍🏼
I know how it feels like to not want be around anymore and being a Muslim how I can’t even talk about it to anyone but my psychiatrist.
Agreed honestly
Same, you arent alone🫶🏾 ive been struggling all my life and its a really hard journey but inshAllah we can make it
I'm sorry, may Allah make it easier for all of you❤️
May allah make it easy...i know its hard to read this...but suicide is strictly forbbiden in islam and our prophet sws said that how some killed himself (for example with a knife) he will countine to kill himself in hell like this. I dont want this for you, so stay strong my dear sis
@@mari_000i think they already know that .?
love how majority of the cases were during jc era. really speaks volumes on the difficulty of jc itself
what is jc? /gen
@@zoey3605 it is short for junior college
Speaking from personal experience, my JC years were the worst years of my life
I’ve been through so much today that I physically cannot move my body. I’m watching this at the end of the day. I cried a lot, my whole face burns. But this gave me hope and kind of hugged my heart, so happy for those people and impressed🤍. If anyone is reading please pray for me
I believe in u 🤍
Praying for you. You can do it man.
❤
Don't be too sad or get overflowed with sadness k. God Allah swt is always there to help when we reach out to him k. Don't do anything drastic. There is still hope in this earth. Don't give up. Surround yrself with positive people😊❤. Sending u lots of love k.
i really hope that in this lifetime me and my mother can connect like this. it’s going to take currently unimaginable effort for us to piece together like these duos, but i’m still hopeful.
i feel the same way
Very well put, couldnt have typed it better myself
They’re all so brave for even lasting 1 second when talking about their issue. I would’ve cried bawled my eyes out on spot
This just hits close to home. Just like my parents, they didn't know how to deal with a teenager battling with mental health. I remembered that one time that I cried while hyperventilating over how worthless I felt, because of the pressure I put on myself regarding academics. As if I already failed my parents and all of the money that they spent on my tuition is nothing but a waste. I just remembered my mom crying and hugging me, apologizing because she didn't know what to do and she feels like a failure of a parent whenever she sees me like that. It hurts her that she can't help me. :
I’m watching this now whilst having a very difficult night and almost no hope for my future. Thank you for giving me that flicker of hope, if only for a moment.
I pray that Allah heals you❤
After every hardship comes ease. Please remember that ❤
Omg when Kevin’s dad said he tried to make Kevin feel better by telling him jokes I started to sob. You can tell he was is genuine and really cared about his son get better.
I wish all our problems were not getting good enough grades because I failed all my classes but that wasn’t even one of the bigger issues I delt with
I couldn't stop my tears. It was so relatable. I hope one day all of us can express our feelings to our parents without any embarrassment.
I have done this 4 times to myself. I got the help i needed, but half my family is just brutal to me. I had an abusive childhood, and recently fell apart with 2 family members who made me attempt because they were just insensative. I compare myself to others a lot, saying i am ugly and my body is not attractive. I also got bullied a lot online and some bullying in school. I have severe depression and anxiety disorder, so i ended up in hospitals. Thankfully i graduated and have a job, as well as having a few friends. I am surprised that i am even here now, and it is a blessing.
I know it'll be hard but hold on dear.... There is light in the end of every dark tunnel!!! when you feel low, take a walk outside, read some self improvement books or make yourself a coffee!! you matter honey hold on❤
Am so happy they have parents that understand or try in a way 😢
When I chose to be vulnerable and tell somebody, their response was “I think you’re doing it for attention because you don’t SH when you’re alone” and that was the start of me hiding ALL of my breakdowns and my struggles.
What a dumb person 😑.
Don't worry tho you will find better friends some day. It took me 5 years but it's worth the wait.
Tears streaming down my face bc hopefully one day I would be able to come to this place with my mother. All of their stories are so beautiful
so precious, everything in this video is so precious!! the courage of these children to have fought their battles and to share their stories, the love of these parents while trying their best. Thank you OGS for this video!!! 💕
thanks OGS for always bringing difficult topics to the forefront. keep doing what you are doing! love your work :)
Thank you OGS for illuminating this very personal topic and all the parents and children who were brave enough to be this vulnerable and for staying. You are important no matter what your thoughts say.
Heartwarming ❤ Thanks OGS for making the world a better place :)
This video is so important and i hope that it spreads awareness
. i truly hope that it encourages those who needed help to also open up soon.
very well done. and thank you to the people who shared. it's good to see these issues from the point-of-view of the parents and children.
Watching this was so healing. I love when parents are able to grow with their kids. ❤
You know sharing this is enough for helping people and all cuz I'm going through a hard time as well cuz of my academics, it's not the best but what's worse is me judging myself and not being able to encourage myself and just going deeper in that hole but man this god's work is a sign that it's gonna be OK! For everyone and including me cuz Imma support myself
In our line of work, we work with parents and youths and often try to bridge the gap. Sometimes it can be really hard and this video moved us. Thank you for posting this, we hope that it helps break more barriers to help-seeking and raise even more awareness for mental health! & to any youth who's struggling, please know that there is someone you can talk to ❤
I can relate to them somehow, I always hated myself, I was always ashamed of my body image and did the worst in my studies. I'm 22 now and it's only recently that I realized that I was struggling and I needed attention and care from my parents. In fact I always thought that I'm a burden on my family but I also stopped my self from doing something wrong because I could never imagine hurting my parent. I don't blame my parents at all, both of them went through a lot, life is not easy for anyone after all. I just imagine sometimes why I was like that why I had to be the worst, I still get those thoughts but I think I got used to it now. I can understand how difficult it must be for them. We all go through these kind of things which leave a void in us...
It is very brave for y'all to speak up about this sensitive topic. Take care and we can do this :)
Our mind matters. And those whom we connect with matters too. Deeply appreciate the open sharing ❤ (its not easy) and thanking lots. Kudos to the crew.👍
Enjoyed watching this video so much. Its real and true what many families go through and hardly talk about. Parents and children from different generations and its good to see how the bridge is gapped with love, understanding and patience to see eye to eye and find solutions to treat mental health issues with therapy and professional help.
After watching this, I don't know how many liters of tears I shed, I wish I could express myself like them.
I know my mom and dad may not always understand or dont want to accept it but they will do whatever to help me and teach me how to take care of myself and love myself. ❤
We find this discussion useful and informative. Mental health can be difficult to come to terms with, however it’s still necessary for us to know more about it in-depth.
THank you so much for this video and sharing your stories with us❤
Thank you for this video, going to hug my mom now.
To the young people - thank you for sharing such tough stuff - you are all so brave, articulate and bright. And to the parents thank you for caring about your kids enough to come on and hear what they have to say with such humility. God Bless you all.
thank you for this video. i really needed this. i just had a huge conflict with my mother today. it's been a week we aren't communicating as mother and daughter. all she cares is me to obey her all the time and do this things of discipline for her. I mean i needed her too to hear my story and opinion. when she said "you dont know im crying all the time because of you!" ma, me too like all the freaking time and this mental breakdowns because i got to hear your hurtful words like "fat, pig, and lazy, crazy" from u without simple words like sorry. u dont say sorry because ur a parent. when she called me to clean my room i told her i would do it. While i was listening to yt vid while cleaning, she instantly threw all my stuffs into the trash bag. I shouted "why you're doing this? I'm cleaning my room already!". she instantly rushed into my room and grabbed my phone. we started throwing hurtful words, and i cried really bad. I think I have developed a phobia on hearing loud voices (i covered my ears and difficulty in breathing) and whenever i see her presence. I don't know anymore what to do with my life because I've become numb and lost, I've lost my sense of direction in life. I just needed to hear a simple apology from them.
i realise a lot of work must have gone into forging a relation between parent and child to be able to communicate freely- especially on camera like this. as of now even if it's not intentional, when my parents found out about my sh i felt so shut down and guilt tripped, i felt outcasted and like the subject was so taboo and awkward that it was left behind in the dust until it came back to bite me every so often. maybe one day i can have what they have too
Your vlogs are so informative and meaningful. So much to learn and change our selves for good. Thank you for bringing these real stories 🙏
Awesome video. Thanks for Sharing! Jus to let everyone know. Parents are also learning to communicate with tis new gen of teenagers. Everybody can only work with wat they know. I am also learning from tis video. Jus know that your parents love you loads no matter wat happen. Like wats tis Father said he will give his kidney with no second thought to his son. No sure who can give u unconditional love besides your parents.
Oh no, this video made me cry unstoppablely. I have a teenager son who is experiencing some issues. I learned something as a parent from this video
Having depression is a long battle. I often have a relapse thinking being a burden to my family and weighing my value being alive. Is scary when you can’t control the thought coming back. But I told myself that I’m living not only for myself but for people who wants me to be alive. I wan to collect good memories with the people I love. Why wasting life when many people with sickness struggle to be alive. ❤
Wow. This was really inspiring... And to these 3 pairs of parent-child, you guys are so brave, to be so vulnerable ❤️❤️❤️
As someone who has also self harmed and attempted suicide many times, this video really reminded me how things really do get better, and that I am not alone 💗
Thank you OGS for this!! 😭
Gosh so hard to watch. Can see the pain in the eyes of the parents and feel so sorry for all sides impacted by this. Love and prayers to all around the world suffering with their mental health ❤ 🙏 xx
Thank you OGS for this series, everytime I see the title of the video I will be like, "Yup, this is a topic I have wondered about" but didn't dare to ask. Huge thanks to the 3 pairs of profiles for their bravery and intimate sharing. The words of the malay lady hit me the most, "Your worth is far more than what your mind plays it out to be" oh my goodness, that one line packs so much wisdom, understanding and the conquering of pain. Once again thank you OGS for bringing this topic to light so we can discuss and understand more and also pay more attention to our friends and family's mental health and also to our own well being~~ 👏👏🤜🤛
This is a totally inspirational video. All three families taught me so much even as a Counsellor. Thank you for your bravery and for sharing, you will be surprised at the thousands you will be helping after they watch this.
i think a lot of my actions today stemmed from the childhood neglect i faced, and even though my parents have apologise for it i somehow dont think i've truly forgiven them because i still feel this barrier between us and can't open up everytime i try. growing up with them always emphasising how important good grades are, i feel that it has affected me totally as a person and even though now they claimed to have changed, i still can't move on from that mindset and can't trust fully that they really mean it when they say they don't care about grades. they also constantly like to joke about my appearance and the way i act, making it seem like no big deal but as a traumatised and already having low self esteem person i feel i can't accept it as well as others and end up just burying my feelings down so that i can appear normal and lovable in front of them, probably because im afraid they would ignore me again. all the suppressing of stress about keeping up and doing well and also the negative emotions from hating myself and feeling guilty (it's like since they've alr changed, why am i still stuck in the past?) made me self-harm regularly as that at least gave me some sort of comfort, feeling as if i'm capable of something but at the same time the pain makes me think that i'm getting the lu ishment i deserve for the guilt i felt. i'm still very confused now about everything but find it impossible to reach out to anyone (without being anonymous). hopefully someone who went through something similar can advise me on how to better take care of my mental health and heal from my childhood experiences. thank you ❤
I faced similar situation. Keep thinking why my upbringing is causing a lot of issues now esp in my career life. If u need someone to share ur burden, come to me bro. I can’t give u solutions but at least u can just share so that this self harm shit would b far away from ur mind.
Everything you said is valid. It’s okay that you haven’t let go yet and even if u never do that’s still okay. Some wounds just cut so deep they seem like they might never heal. I personally have similar experiences to and thoughts, fortunately I do not and have not done self harm (at least physical) but that’s honestly because I’m such a pussy and everytime I tried I just couldn’t go through with it. But the way I think about things is if someone hurts me and they don’t change their ways then the only thing I can do it disassociate myself from the thing hurting me. Even if I tell someone to change and they do change but im still feeling pain because I haven’t moved on then I still, for the sake of my mental health, need to disassociate. Additionally, Make goals for urself (weekly,monthly,yearly) and stay focused on achieving them. when i feel emotionally distressed from say my mom or maybe a friend then i remind myself that i have so many goals that are worth more brain space then whatever is causing this stress. So let it go. And yeah so much easier said than done but I’d choose happiness over depression any day. I’m beyond blessed to have been able to get myself out of depression because I just literally don’t know how I pushed through. But I did and I now know I NEVER wanna feel that shitty ever again. I never want to look in the mirror with tears and full heartedly want to die ever again. So imma do all I can to prevent it. So idk if that helps you but that’s what I’ve been doing and I have my days where depression over powers but for the most part im finally loving life with each step I take.
this is crazy because, im going through exactly what youre going through, but i havent been able to tell my parents about what theyve done and what they do just yet.
We can't always be blaming others n we have to find ourselves. Our parents went through hardship n they too have their struggles. Last time too I rebelled n felt unloved till I thought there's favouritism or being controlled. I got an opportunity to went overseas in hopes I will change to be a better person. Alhamdulillah I prayed for guidance frm Allah swt. Devil would always want us to blame others n choose the bad path but we can always turn back to God Allah n pray for guidance. Y not we better ourselves instead of blaming others k guys? ❤ This life is a test n a prison for most n heaven and hell exists. So wch path do we want to die under. Sorry for my words but seek the truth n do not cheat, lie, or full of anger. Repent when we still have time
It just makes me realize that as we are new to life, just like our parents, it's their first time being a parent to us, too. The pressure we have as children not wanting to disappoint our parents as well as our parents not wanting their kids to be harmed or be in danger. They are also a product of their parents generation, strict rules and curfews but the good thing is as the younger generation changes, as well as the parents, they're trying to understand the younger gen more and they are becoming more open to the idea of changing and breaking generational traumas.
Communication is really a big factor in a relationship. thanks for sharing this kinds of videos.
I feel lie if I ever did this w my parents this would turn into a fight... this really hit my heart
also to anyone who's going through depression, sh thoughts etc, please do know that there's people (or even just a person) who's rooting for you and who wishes you well and will always support you
❤
Wow that boy is BLESSED to have such parents, I wish everyones parents tried this hard❤
These 3 young people are to be admired and adored. The parents still have a lot of work to do by the sounds of it. Michael is really trying hard and that’s wonderful to hear. However both mothers really seem to need some professionals help themselves. Perhaps there is something in their own past, whatever it is, it does need dealt with. Love and prayers to ALL of you ❤🙏🏻
Thank you for this .I have spent all day in A/E as my daughter took an overdose this morning. I have so much guilt as my first reaction when her teachers called me was anger.This has been the worst day but I want to say THANK YOU to these courageous teens and their parents for sharing their mental health journeys.
I am glad that these people are able to talk about this major thing with their parents. I mean,not all the people have such understanding and open-hearted parents who are always by their side. Not all the parents believe that such issue exists..rather,for some,it is nothing but an 'acting'. I'm saying this thing from a perspective of someone who will never be able to find the courage to talk about such matter that also happened to myself. Sending virtual hugs for everyone
😭😭 This is eye opening to me as a parent! I am trying to do things different to how I was raised by showing up and showing out for my children! I have to admit they get scolded aaalot even thou they showing me good grades, I still critique the areas that reveal they can improve 😢 I tell myself I'm not worried about grades, etc I just want them to do well for themselves 😣 but I tell my babies I love them and everything I do is for them I am proud of them and I praise the heavens they are not bullied, they do care and take pride in their appearance which I don't mind this, I just mind the amount of time spent because they end up late in the morning! Anyone that makes life hard for my kids I am that mom that goes all in! I guess I can just be there to lend an ear and for my kids to be celebrated on their results because they are still in school and to encourage support wherever necessary! Thank you to the trio parents n children your testimonies were very touching and I am hoping you are all in a much better space today and if you are reading this comment thank you for being inspirational ✨
this video is very informative. Thanks for sharing your experiences!
This is such a beautiful video. I'm glad that they've identified their struggles, found a solution/working on it hand-to-hand. Healing is never easy and something you cannot do alone. I wished my parents accepted me for who I am, see and willing to hear me out. As much as I am grateful for them, they can do better addressing my mental health; I'm still struggling and feel uncomfortable opening up because I don't think they can understand how I feel.
I'm sorry to hear about your struggles. We hope you're able to find help and speak to someone. If you're based in Singapore, this website (go.gov.sg/spotthewarningsigns ) will have useful resources for you to seek help.
Parents are also the "first time parent". They shouldn't be hold accountable for unintended happenings. They work unimaginably hard to provide the best they can. Same for children.
In simple words, IT IS LIFE.
Lets have little appreciation,resilience, acceptance , and empathy for both the sides.
I think its nice seeing that they felt like they could talk to their parents about it. I think it's just hard knowing that I will never really open up to anyone.
Thank you for this sharing. You all are so brave
Thank you for videos like these. I am afraid of talking to my parents bc through experience i know they wouldn’t listen. So i’m sending them this video to hopefully start a conversation ❤️
A good start. May u find all the solutions u needed. ❤❤❤
*you need to accept your child's strengths and weakness "
*You need to accept their temperament and everything they have to say"
This made me tear up..
This women make me emotional ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ❤
Geez man can’t believe I teared. At the same time, worried. I have a 10 yo kid myself. Hopefully that kid can be as open as these guys. I hope I can remind myself not to always stay on the high side but to go down and establish communication, break down the walls.
Don't wait ur kid to open up, sometimes theyr too scared to open up expecting Noone understand them:)
I agree with @@user-wf1lx9rv6z . But also, be careful to not push them either. Let them take their time. If you want to talk to them about something, make sure you are in a safe place to do so. Don’t confront them outright, and approach gently. I’m not an expert, but I am a teen going through hard times, so hopefully this comment helps.
I’m sure your an amazing parent ❤
These people are very lucky to have this sort of relationship with their parents. For me as a teenager, it's like I can't even confront them about these issues, or else they will get really mad instead of trying to find solutions, and making it worse rather than helpful. My dad particularily doesn't believe in depression, anxiety or any other mental health disorders, and think that if you go to a psychologist then you are a psychopath. I hope I can be a better parent to my own children in the future :)
im going to cry , i want my parents to be this understanding and to love me like this
To the malay girl: u are very sweet more so when u smile.
she’s also so articulate!
She's beautiful.
Yes I agree. She is very, very attractive. Can tell she has a very gentle soul too.
The response I only ever got from my mum was” don’t be stupid, snap out of it”, makes me wonder about all those who didn’t have parents like those in the video were fortunate enough to have to work through their problems together
I think two of them started feeling this way in Junior College but I started feeling it at the age of 7 with many relapses until now.I’ve managed to slowly come out of it now by investing more in self care and time for myself.
When i was bullied in school, I didn't even dare to share with my parents because they are strict. I tried to eat medicines with hope that i could just die from it. 😢
You guys are really doing an amazing job !
Well done to the participants for being brave it's still so taboo to talk about. Well done for making this video
These talks just was so heart felt because I’m seeking for help rn but my help is kinda halfassed because I can’t tell how I feel all the way. Because for the sake of my mom and dad and their reputation.
Thank you for sharing your story and be brave. To people with suicidal thoughts, seek help, speak about it to someone you trust, and believe me it gets better. Great conversation. A lot of love for these people. T_T
Wow this was absolutely beautiful...Trust me its notbhard for parents to admit to how they fell short as parents...And not take their child how felt as an opportunity to become defensive...Seeing these parent actually listen to their child...and just listen...is what some many kids...grown amd young need from their parents...and for children grown and young to also understand ur parents are also just human.
I wish all parents were like these amazing ones here. Some of our parents blame us and see us as crazy
You guys are so brave. Much respect ❤
The moment he said are you ashamed of me I broke out in tears
I don't cry easily but fear of my upcoming exam, fear of letting them down , fear of not being their proud daughter is killing me
Hurting myself and self harm is normal for me
since a year or more
I love them and i know they love me too
But my bad result might make them hard and not so good towards me which i fear the most
Being a middle child in my childhood after i got a sister she was priority so i didn't get any pampering that time and when i was in my teens my big sister got the priority and now in these 4 years i felt the love pamper i ever longed for so i am scared to lose it.
I am scared of being a failure
I am sacred of being not intelligent because all the life due to my great scores everyone has high expectations from me
I am scared of my family saying i didn't work hard enough
I know that's true i could do better but the situation i was in didn't help me
I just gave birth to my son. I am in tears listering to these sons and daughters. Beautiful souls. I see parents who love their children so much but sometimes don’t know how to get to them. I really hope I am able to reach my son whenever in the future he feels lost. I know now all the parents we do our best ❤ sometimes best is not enough but we try.
We need to tell kids that piece of paper is just a paper. Doesn't determine your worth, doesn't define you as a person and certainly doesn't make or break your future.
True. I have low self-esteem due to this, like my colleagues having good grades and me having Olevel only. When they talked about their grades and certificates, i was always isolated knowing i have nothing to share
That's why parents should talk to their children and have a close relationship with them. Having a supportive and loving family is so important.
These people have such great family ❤
I can feel the pain, guilt and fear of all the parents listening to their kid stories even though these incidents were not succeeded. Can't imagine how they felt if the god forbid happened.
This got recommended to me after my fight with my parents (especially with my mom). I’ve tried telling her about my situation like they do but the only difference is instead trying to understand me, she always dismissed my feelings and victimizes herself how she’s sacrificed to take care of me and I should be grateful for having shelter and food while others don’t. She never apologizes about the times she hurt me but instead blames me that I was the one who’s in the wrong. I shared this video link to my mom and I can guess what her response would be but still I hope she could listen to me for once.
I'm sorry for saying this but my blood is boiling rn atp if parent cannot understand their children they shouldn't have child. But that's doesn't mean ur not precious plz just stay a Lil bit more I know you can do this❤
@@user-wf1lx9rv6z aw thank you for your kind words. I’m now moving out so hopefully some distance from her would help.
My mum said the same thing when I was suicidal she called me ungrateful and told me she fed me and everything and I have no right to feel that way
as a mental health fighter myself , im going to tell you that i burst into tears
I love this, thank you
If you're struggling with your mental health, remember that help is available. You can find out more at go.gov.sg/spotthewarningsigns.
I can relate so much with the first girl. I have the same relationship with my parents and I feel like they don't very understand me and when we have an argument I would always feel so guilty. I hope that one day I will have the courage to really sit down with them and talk about everything.
This came onto my recommended randomly, a day I was seriously considering/planning to end my life. Asking for help is hard. I’m in therapy but I feel so alone. I feel like I’m a burden to everyone in my life and I would be better gone. My cats need me but they are old and losing them will make me unsafe without coming back. I hope there is a way back from this but it’s been 23 years. What if there is no way back for me?
i sobbed so much😢😢 I LUV U MY MAMA AND I KNOW YOU DONT TALK ABOIT YOUR FEELINGS TO ME BUT I APPRECIATE YOU 😭