Thanks so much for watching and for all your kind responses :) Valerie has seen them and would like us to post a message on her behalf: hi!!! i’m val, and thank you so much for your warmth, kindness and receptiveness. it means a lot to me and i’m moved beyond words. to think that our society has moved from an initially strictly harsh and cruel standpoint to this is a great step forward for all, especially those who hurt as i type this. i’m on instagram at @/ disabledvalerie , and i would be happy to see you there! my tiktok is a little dead right now, but it’s @/ spookyspine.recovery (it was halloween when i came up with that username) see you there! thank you endlessly, over and over, to OGS team especially wenqi and tan tong for first listening. - val O(∩_∩)O
She's right. Suicidality is not rational. It's useless to scold or tell a suicidal person to think of their loved ones. You can't imagine how bad it must feel for them to get to that stage. Instead of saying such empty and harsh words, you can say "I can't imagine how much you're suffering now, but I'm here for you" Valerie, thank you for being so honest and willing to do this interview. Rooting for you. From one survivor to another
It seems cruel to be honest, like they are the ones suffering to the point they want to commit suicide and yet instead of being comforted they are told to feel guilty and worry about other people (the "loved ones) who arent suffering as much as them-
My mom did this to me.. everytime we ended up in emergency due to being suicidal she would guilt me about how I was making the family feel.. makes me sad thinking back on it but I understand she did not understand the pain I was in
I really thought about my loved ones and it did helped me, mum's one thing she said to me that I am the reason she is living and I would never hurt her even in my life's cost, I am really happy Ive been recovered and I love my life like I have never after all we all live once and after death there is literally nothing, near death experience people also experienced that they were not even aware of their "death" like they have seen themselves and actually tried to do their best to save their own body, so even our soul is seeking life after some suicidal attempt. Life is precious there are really so many different reasons to be living for.
I remember, when I was 15, being suicidal... and telling myself, "Okay, if this is my lowest low, then I want to see what my life's highest high looks like." So I gave myself ten years. I lived my life with an "expiration date" in mind, but I really fought hard to make the best of it. And towards the end of the year after my 25th birthday had passed, I remember suddenly thinking to myself, "I made it pass the set deadline I had in mind... and my life is pretty darn fantastic." I'm married. I have a kid. A loving family. I enjoy what I do for a living. I have dreams for my future. Life is pretty darn good. So if you're going through a low period in your life, please stick around... I'd love for you to see what your life's highest high would look like. It does get better. Not immediately - but eventually, it will.
True, I love how she spoke fluently and say a lot of 'advanced word', also it really touched me when she says that "Just having that dream even if it's unattainable, even if you don't get it, you were living for something"
6:18 I hurt to hear her say that… I remember when my sister was a preteen and hurting so deeply and feeling alone. She attempted to take an overdose of something that she didn’t realize wouldn’t be lethal. So she just made herself really uncomfortable and sick. When my mom learned why, she scolded her with the words “Don’t you know how expensive a funeral is? We can’t afford that!” I am still so pained by that memory. My poor baby was crying out for help and she just got reprimanded. After my mom left her room, I came in and sat on my sister’s bed beside her and gave her a big thermos of water and told her to drink it all to clear her stomach and system. I told her that I was glad she was unsuccessful because I wanted her around and I loved her. I assured her I would help her with whatever she needed and made her promise to talk to me first if she ever felt like that again. She agreed with tears in her eyes (I’m haunted by the memory of that look in her eyes of shame and sadness). I am trying to forgive my mom now for that shameful response to something obviously coming from heartbreak. But I feel like this sweet woman does about it, that it just makes me so livid! How dare you treat someone hurting with such disregard! Anyway, unfortunately my mother lived to regret and eat those words bc my sister was later killed at 24 by a drunk driver and had no insurance. So she still ended up paying for an expensive funeral by the recklessness of someone else. I’m sure she wishes she never brought that up. At least I hope so…
Oh my goodness. I am so sorry you have to live with that memory. And I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope that she made it through that dark time and had some happy years before her passing. She was so lucky to have you. May she rest in peace and paradise until you meet again 🤍
@@BrownEyedBeauty2008 thank you so much🥰 I’m happy to report she did have some wonderful years before her passing! She was a vivacious person and didn’t let anything snuff her spark! She definitely left her mark on everyone she met and we are all the better for it🩷
"They just see me as a product that has failed." That hit me hard. It takes a long time to shake that too. It's been 5 years since my last hospitalisation 😊
As someone who also survived a suicide attempt, this video brought so many tears to my eyes. When I was in high school, I also did the exact same thing as Valerie, at first I felt the same hopelessness and depression. The stress of social pressure, academics, expectations, tiger parenting, raging hormones. The feeling of wanting to end it all. I felt so alone and no one can understand. I started inflicted self-harm by cutting my wrists, tying nooses, then I began to do research, and my final attempt was overdosing. I woke up in ED, covered in my own vomit, it did NOT succeed. My attempt failed. I was brought back to the world I wanted to escape from. Right then and there I felt scared but the scariest sigght was seeing my parents wailing. That was what truly woke me up from the eternal nightmare. I am grateful for the failed attempt. My second chance starts now. I've been going to therapy ever since, and it's been getting much better. It can only get better once you've experienced the worst, near death. I still do have those dark thoughts every now and then, but I don't feel suicidal anymore. It's slow, but we eventually heal, and the scars will fade. We may never escape our past, but we can always look forward to the future. Thanks for sharing Valerie, because of you, I was also able to share my story. It feels like I just threw a heavy pebble into the pond. ❤
Well done for fighting. It must've been not easy carrying that heavy load on your own. Your experience might help someone one day because you will be there for them and they won't feel alone. Sending hugs and 💌 xx
You can tell she’s such a cool person, deep thinker, has a quirky personality and a great sense of humor. I pray that she has good friends and family that rally around her and reinforce that she has worth, is loved and can accomplish anything she sets her mind to in times when she’s in doubt.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporessss I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
@@miranda13c lets analyse the lies which are world wide believed and origin from masons: lie: schools are of use (fact. schools keep slavery alive and stands for dumbing down the population of mankind) lie: moon and mars landings, (fact: even masons know they cannot leave - earth is closed system, unless you want to drown, there is no other place created for us to live in.) lie: news channels share truth (fact: these are for politic propaganda) lie: voting matters (fact: politic propaganda) lie: money has a value of its own (fact: it is just a tool of this world, which value has been agreed upon world wide, it should be not loved, only used as needed.) lie: NASA lies (globe and all....) (fact: NASA stands for TO DECEIVE and 2 members expose their own lies, one is still alive, the other (Wernher Von Braun) place a clear clue on his own gravestone) - you havn´t searched - have you? lie: the lgbtq++++ propaganda (fact: it is a part of masonry depopulation agenda, 500 000 000 souls, thats their goal - Georgia Guidestones!) lie: Evolution and the dinosaurs. (fact: mankind is not hybrid kind) to keep stating that there was an evolution, then we ain´t humans, we aint then mankind, we are then hybrids. Are you a hybrid? Lie: holidays (xmas, Halloween, new year eve and so on) (fact: PAGAN HOLIDAYS, to praise BAAL, the god of this world) lie: U.F.Os (fact: they are demons/evil spirits in high places, against whom we fight daily = spiritual warfare) lie: rules and laws rule the world (fact: signs and symbols of masonry do) lie: believe in being educated (fact: found daily living with the lack of knowledge) lie: religions are ways to heaven (fact: JESUS CHRIST is only way to heaven. Religions, no matter its name = masonic garbage) lie: our dead loved ones stay around to “ghost” (fact: hunting and ghosting is job of demons, not of humans. We, humans, come from GOD and return back to HIM and all the stories of having been seen a ghost - terrifying, scary, dark, cold - again no job of analysing been done here by you- right?) Lie: Humans have no immune system and we need vaccines as these save lives (fact: humans HAVE IMMUNE SYSTEM and vaccines are created for one or two purpose: to kill or to cripple. If you took all their poison shots then later in life comes all kinds of medical diagnoses = vaccines crippled you - remember that) lie: there is no GOD (fact: There is GOD, who redeems sinners and created us directly from the dust of the earth: Psalms 139:14 (KJV) I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.) to keep claiming that there is no GOD and we aint created directly from the dust of the earth, we soon run out logic, regardless to we place “evolution” in our claims or not and our dead, whats happening to them as they sleep in their graves? - they decay away, becoming the dust form which they were taken, if it ain`t so then we are simply reality deniers. lie: 911 was terror attack (fact: 911 was an inside job, meaning the work of your loved government) lie: Tv watching is of use (fact: television (TV) = tell a lie vision, a weapon for our minds, keeping it under MK ULTRA) half lie/half truth: earth is a stage where everyone plays rolls (fact: earth is stage, a freemasonry checkerboard, where both side, black and white are masons and humans both in politics and regular souls = the naive public gets daily played) lie: children are government to raise (fact: children are parents to raise, it takes 2 to make them, it takes 2 to raise them). Lie: we live already in the matrix (fact: we live since birth in BABYLON which is to become “matrix” as Man - us, must merge with machine aka take the mark of the beast and then matrix aka false reality becomes to be 100%) lie: humans are not intelligent enough (fact: it is forgotten fact, we all are intelligent, many have suffered the illness from this world, being indoctrinated by masons, cause who give us the school system which we have? masons did, because they need slaves. Lie: love is low standers and = lust (fact love is high standard as love means> John 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Lie> do what thy wilt there is no body who has the right to judge you (fact> GOD SHALL JUDGE YOU AFTER YOU HAVE DEPARTED ON EARTH and Christians are also called to give out righteous judgment, therefore repent * born again * go and sin no more) lie: slavery is over (fact: slavery was never over, it just changes a little as we are no longer buy`d or sold, still prepared through school systems for our future slavery, succumb to our slave lives based on our free will) 24 lies, should i go on? This world ain´t deceived, out there to deceive? 9 - 5 working industry was created, because masons wants slaves. Schools systems prepared us for our future slavery. Wise ones reject this and seek GOD and start relying on HIM fully. it is unwise to count on the governments of this world. Didn´t they proved in 2020 how badly far are they from reality? slavery turn no soul rich, the price for such slavery is opposite: you lost: time (1st 20 years = childhood, then comes 40 years for slavery = your 20s, your 30s, your 40s, your 50s, then comes 50 years of being elderly = 60 - 100) health = all these vaccines, which slowly turns you a cripple + man made fake food ( we are dust and should consume which comes directly from dust) life = no time and no health = early grave Each of us shall lose 3 times, gain nothing more then illusions. When reading THE BIBLE (KJV) and complaining abut the slavery in the past, know then this, that 9 - 5 working industry = slavery of our day. You want to know the past - read bible, you want to know present - read bible - you want to know future - read bible.
I pray she writes a book. Her story is so inspiring and she has more wisdom and intelligence than most people her age. She survived that jump for a reason. God had a greater purpose for her.
I would disagree that she has more wisdom and intelligence than most people her age based off of just this, maybe a lot of people her age but I wouldn’t say most
I had a P.E teacher tell me one time in health class "Teenagers only see as far as their nose. Thinking this is the best or worst it's ever going to get. Look past your nose. Remember, it does and will get better. It never stays like this." And somehow, that's always stuck with me. And now I'm 38, and it's true. Life does get much better!
@@jordan7402spot on! Life actually gets worse the older we get. But, it can improve with support. Neurotypical adults (parents, teachers, authorities) do a pretty terrible job of raising children, telling lies, giving false hope, and attempting to mould young minds into becoming mindless drones to fit into the society they can benefit from. There is so much more to life than being the best at everything, being academically excellent, making the most money, being the most attractive, being the strongest, etc. There is so much pressure on young people to be all of these things, and then told they are failures if they do not succeed in these things, when in fact we are just animals sharing this planet for a very small amount of time. We should be supporting each other, and trying to make our short lives here as happy as possible.
i'm 30 and it kept getting worse. life is hell and i'm only still here because i was too dumb to properly overdose and too cowardly to jump in front of a train.
As someone who has been suffering from severe depression for over 25 years since I was 13, I can absolutely relate to her. I've tried to take my life when I was around 17 and 18 when my depression was too severe... but failed. I used to self-harm, which i've regretted later on in life. But I'm thankful my attempts failed. Growing up, I learn how to deal with everything in my life. I survived it all, alone. It's a daily battle when it comes to depression and anxiety and I'll continue fighting. Like her, I get pissed off when people tell me to "think of other people/family"... excuse me. When a person is at a point where they don't even care for their own life and anything else, you're telling them to care about others? What about their feelings? What about the pain they're going through? What about their battle with their own demon? Who's gonna care about them? Yet people dare to tell them to care about others? Some people are so ignorant when it comes to mental health issues.
I tried to take my own life when I was younger too. Since then, my older brother has looked at me with distaste. He said I was selfish for putting the family through such an ordeal. I tried to explain that when a person is suicidal, they’d think that dying is doing their loved ones a favour. It seems like your family are still supportive of you, and that’s so great! Familial support is so important. Thank you for sharing your story. 🥰
I can understand why you were suicidal judging from your brother's behaviour. Usually it is the unkind and harsh family environment that is the root cause. Hope you have risen above that and be kind and forgiving to yourself. No one is perfect but we don't have to act tough which seem unkind.
Many of our tongues work faster than our brains so don't take it too hard & l believe your brother still treasure you but doesn't understand the trauma you had gone thru. I hope this story will inspire you and give you hope that you are not alone, pls take good care ya
My friend jumped and lost his leg. At first he lied and said it was an accident. Then he confided in me about how he felt he cannot complain since he did it to himself. He was held hostage in the country where it happened due to extensive medical bills. After several years he was finally released and allowed to return to the US, but by then he was afraid because he was actually healing emotionally and spiritually, and feared the US would bring back his old feelings of hopelessness. He passed away unexpectedly years after the jump because his heart had been weakened. I miss him. He was a great friend with wonderful advice.
“Just having that dream. Even if it is unattainable. Even if you don’t get it, you were living for something.” Very wise words Val. i’ll have a long think on this tonight thank you. (Big hugs from one Val to another.) ♥️
“You don’t know me.” Those words are so powerful. She’s completely right. Nobody who doesn’t know her has no idea what she’s been through. I’m glad she said them to that woman. And I pray anyone else who’s brave enough to show your scars feels the strength to feel, think, and say the same thing. Nobody knows your pain or your past or present. But that doesn’t dictate a life where you’re judged. You’re so loved and worth so much. ❤
I am also a jump surviver... For me, part of it was i did think of my family. I was so ill i was convinced that those close to me would be happier and better off without me. Please dont guilt suicide survivors. Life shouldn't be dependant on guilt. We need to be taught how to love and value ourselves with therapy. Self love is a skill. Being made to feel like we are selfish or attention seeking causes issues in our recovery People who make thise comments dont realise the dangerous game they are playing. Tou put mentally vulnerable people at risk of relapse. Just keep your comments to yourself. Like a polite human should. And to anyone struggling. From someone who has been there and still visits there from time to time. It gets easier. It truly does. I just take it day by day. And on really bad days. Minute by minute. 💜
I feel like scars are not a sign of failing or being weak, but the complete oposite. I think scars show how strong you were and that you survived the hardest moments of your life.
I attempted suicide when I was 12. Because of my age, no one listened to my concerns when I told them about my thoughts and feelings. I went to sleep begging for someone to hear me and take my pain away, but after a while, it starts to leave you numb. My only emotional outlet was used as a manifestation for my darkest thoughts. At the time, I never thought that I could make it out and be happy. However, I am much better now, and although I'm still young, I have great plans for the future and I'm slowly working towards my goal every day. I want to be a veterinarian and my zoology class is planning to go to the zoo in order to look at their genetics lab and see the things behind tbe scenes. I'm very excited because I've waited for this opportunity for a long time. My family is not the best, but they want me to succeed, so I'm doing what I have dreamed about for years. It is never too late to work for something you want. Do not settle for a job doing something you don't care about. Make your job something that you truly love.
The closest I came to suicide was in 2019, just before the pandemic. I was in university, and failing everything. So much darkness. So many bad things in my head, and it seemed like it was worse every day and would never end. I felt stupid, a waste of space and resources, I felt sorry that my parents had to raise such a useless child. I would attempt to cry myself to sleep every night. When I could only lie there and hate myself, I would cut. The anger I felt towards myself was so intense that I WANTED to punish myself. I'd cut until the painkilling chemicals in my brain would calm me. I pulled away from everyone. I can't remember talking to my friends at all. I ran away from family functions because I was not happy there, and I didn't want them to ask questions and find out how I was pissing away college funds. but i wasnt pissing. I was studying. studying HARD. 4 hrs a day every day. for weeks. I was trying to damn hard. and my tests would return marked 30s. 50s. i was passing nothing. What saved me was the pandemic actually. I just...dropped out. I quit. I just stopped mid semester and never went back. I got medicine. I got a dog and take everything one day at a time. Sometimes I do think I'd be better off dead, but thats just because depression makes your forget what its like to feel joy. you think it was always this bad, and it will stay like that forever. so whats the point?
That’s why I’m staying alive. To find the point in life. I think it’s different for everybody, most say they stay here for family some their pets others say to enjoy the money they’ll work hard for but I’m still tryna find mine so I can die peacefully with no questions or regrets. I could end it all now hating myself or in 50 years in a hospital bed with the meaning of my life 🙏
Cigarettes and alcohol addiction actually destroyed my life. I could remember several years ago, when i lost my husband I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got addicted to alcohol and cigarettes. Not until my son recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Congrats on your recovery. Most persons never realizes psilocybin can be used as a miracle medication to save lives. Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death bud, lets be honest here.
Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Germany. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them.
YES very sure of Dr.benfungi. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
Ive done shrooms last month in my house. It taught me how severely traumatized I was from alcohol. I healed from many mental traumas from my past and was able to forgive, let go. Shrooms to me is a remedy not a vice. I even felt more refreshed the morning after. So no hangovers. No depression mood for days. No anxiety.I now have a more calm mind
To the creators: Thank you so much for making this video To val if you do see this message: You're right. life is very complex and hard. We all live a different life, be it better or worse. That doesnt mean any one is any less worth living. Seeing you grow to where you are I feel extremely happy that you have brought yourself together and be able to move forward in life. As for the people who give you unsavoury comments, I do hope they wont affect you too much. Everything belongs in a spectrum of good and bad. We have to deal with them regardless, else how would we know what's good? Finally i'd like to say be proud. Be fkin proud of being yourself, to be able to conquor your demons and never let them hold you back from living. Cheers to your brave soul.
The key takeaway for me from this video is to listen to others with kindness and no judgement. Often we tend to impose our perception onto others unknowingly with the intention of trying to help them. Perhaps, lending others an active, kind and non-judgmental ear would be something that they need. Do look out for one another and check in with your loved ones and friends from time to time. Remember to seek professional help if you need to… you are not alone… stay strong everyone.
For my generation, we used to hear comments that said someone who committed suicide was being selfish. We were literally being "brainwashed" into such concept. Therefore, I'm not surprised that Valerie would receive such comments from strangers. Please forgive them as they didn't understand you. Thank you for sharing your story. This will help many people to understand how a person feels before and after suicide. You might not know, your story would have saved many people. Valarie, please continue having big dreams and may you find your inner peace.
“i think one thing worth living for is your hopes” i needed to hear that. she is so wise and beautiful, i hope she knows how valuable and important she is for sharing her story with grace and strength.
I love my family but when I was having strong suicidal thoughts all I could think about is how much their lives would improve without me in it; they wouldn't have to worry about me and I wouldn't cause them stress. This makes absolutely no sense since my family would be devastated without me, but when you're in that state your brain really makes you believe those things.
@@batacumba some just look like that from the outside. The only thing i heard while having suicidal thoughts was "get over yourself". I wouldnt call that supportive. I love my parents, but they dont understand and dont want to understand the mental health struggles.
@@mmgs1148 I’m really sorry you went through that. But there are plenty of people who themselves say their families are great and always there for them but it still didn’t prevent their suicidal feelings. I’m not talking about how it may appear to others, I’m saying from people who have attempted suicide and say it had nothing to do with a lack of support. But it’s true that too often people lack the support they need during their worst times. I hope you’re doing better now.
This made me sob. As a survivor of several attempts myself and being able to say im on the other side of it… i just wanna give her a huge hug and be her friend and make her realize she is so loved and brings so much value to the world. This story is powerful. Youre also more than that attempt, youre more than your disability. Sending so much love and hope to this girl
Her last words about 'being content' is key. Stop trying to impress others or obtain material things...find your inner peace and then life is beautiful.
In 2021 I tried to commit suicide also. I jumped 5 months after my father died. I always struggled with my mental health and I had no one that would listen to me. I had many failed suicide attempts from overdoses of paracetamol to jumping from a taxi. That's just to name a few. Life was pretty bad and I like Val am thankful now I survived. I now live with AVN a hip condition where the blood flow to my hips is cut off and I broke 5 bones in my back and it was 13 bones in total, I'm also a wheelchair user. I'm definitely going to contact Val but I am afraid id bring back some memories best left behind.
Typing this as I watch I guess this is the most difficult OGS episode to watch just from the opening Credits to the production team and the survivor for powering thru this, you guys give us strength
Years ago I saw you in the same ward as me but I didnt get to say Hi. I am glad that you have had breakthroughs about yourself (same!) and that you are still here with us. The part about the books really resonated with me, it was really cute when you seem so excited about it!
Dear Valerie, I don't know if you'll see this message, but I wanted to thank you so much for sharing your story, and your bravery. I get into severe bouts of depression myself, and everything you said resonates with me so much. Thank you for speaking on that part about living for your hope. I think so many people automatically think the answer would be living for your family/loved ones, but we forget that although we all love our family, we need to love ourselves first and foremost - and living for your hopes is such a beautiful and honourable thing. I am living for my hope now. Thank you Valerie
Those were really hard questions to answer. Val was really brave to answer them. As someone with chronic depression since childhood, I agree with all her sentiments. In that dark place, I believed that suicide would make life better for the ones I love.
Thank you so much for sharing this. The biggest strength in us is the ability to be open about our vulnerabilities; "I jump because I want to die." is such a powerful statement. I'm a grown man but I'm pretty sure when I was younger or even now, I still feel certain thoughts similar to Valerie. I'm sure I'm not alone in this. Valerie is really really brave for standing up towards her negative thoughts, even braver for sharing this in front of the camera. Our society needs more of her voices. She makes us feel not alone and give us the ability to be braver. Thank you Valerie. Thank you OGS.
This young lady has so much quiet intelligence and a dry sense of humour, along with a sweet-natured, insightful facial expression. I do hope she finds some measure of happiness in life. Everyone deserves a bit of happiness.
Don’t stop writing, Val. Your story has already touched thousands and I can’t even imagine how many more would feel seen by your work if you ever choose to share it.
Hi Valerie! Thank you for being so brave to share your story and the healing journey you allowed yourself to take :-) I love reading books and visiting bookstores so cannot wait for the day when you open that bookstore and turn this dream into reality! keep on keeping on Valerie, you’re more than a conqueror than you already know!
I'm bawling writing this. I had my most recent attempt a few months ago and I don't know how to put my feelings into words. You did exactly that for me. That's how I felt, it makes me feel so seen. Like someone else actually understands what it's like.I'm in my final year of med school and it has been so hard keeping up with it while also fighting long standing mental health issues. I hope I find some hope and acceptance as you have.
thank you Valerie for being so courageous and sharing your story. i’m in awe of how far you’v came, the obstacles you’ve overcome. having to lose someone to suicide, I think this video helps me to cope better knowing the “rationale” and solidifying the fact that it wasn’t because the people in their life weren’t enough, but just that the darker thoughts got to them. grieving is not an easy journey so on behalf of every soul that cares for you, i thank you for continuing to choose life everyday
i also jumped from the rooftop at the age of 14 and ended up getting my spine and ankle broken, im almost fully recovered able to live a full life. Im proud of those of you who are still fighting, its hard and a pretty cliche thing to say but, stay strong dears these problems will end no matter what
Def made me tear up. You’re here for a reason I know sometimes especially in our darkest moments we don’t know that but we are. Your story is gonna help so many people with the same feelings of hopelessness , me included. Thank you for this. Hold on pain ends. It’s a bad day not a bad life. To those struggling it’s okay to seek help not all counselors ect are amazing BUT you will find someone who will make you view life in a better light. Everyday is a fight and a struggle but it’s truly worth it. We only get one life I’m praying for those struggling to get through each day.
This video means a lot. I don't quite know how to explain it. I've attempted about 7 times, all failed, and I've been in a state of mind for years where I don't even know if I want to get better since it means I have to commit to healing and staying in this world. No one takes it quite seriously. My parents threatened to lock me away in a hospital when I was 17. People tell me that I am not allowed to think like that, that I should just be happy. People tell me I'm gross and lazy for being too depressed to take care of myself. I'm expected to get out of this 5 year burnout and start happily producing, because I'm only valuable when I produce. My parents tell me how expensive I am. And in all of that, I am trying to make what this video says clear to the people around me. I'm hurting like crazy and I need help, more than what I've been getting. I need kindness and rest, not screaming and threatening. My mental health makes me less than a human to others, and them treating me like that makes my mental health worse. Sometimes I hope I get to the point where I want to get better. I'm not there yet. But watching this video somehow makes me feel like it's okay to not want to get better. Or maybe just that it's okay to feel bad.
I can relate - you summed up the struggles very eloquently. Though I'm overall better now, it can just take one thing to bring you back to that place. Just taking it day by day right now. ❤
@kaisoep I really wish you can find some kind of peace inside yourself, I understand how much suffering you bury in you, and I hope finally you can let it all go and be relieved. You are not less human than others and it is definitely okay not to feel happy and good in every period of our life. Be kind to yourself and accept what you feel, only through acceptance we can then be ready to let go and be soothed. I send a virtual hug and I really wish you all the best in your life, keep fighting towards your happy place :)
You are worthy. You are worth it. You are worthwhile. Even if the people around you dont see it, I see it and others will. Hang in there... dare to hope. God bless
Rooting for you Valerie! Because of what you’ve gone through, you have such wisdom within you, as you speak! Wishing you the very best in life, as may you work towards your hopes and dreams :)
I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for this young lady. I sincerely do hope that she will stay strong and continue to be motivated to pursue her dreams. I’m rooting for you!
I needed to see this. I used to be so harmful to myself mentally. I'm glad I sought help and I hope everyone feeling similar currently, in the past or in the future. You're not alone. Its hard and hard but it will get so much better. You've got this.
your words resonate with a lot of us out there, be it survivors or people who still struggle on that path. thank you val for sharing your thoughts. I see you and i wish that you will always have the strength to face all the hard times in life.
Valerie, you're truly amazing. The way you've fought through such tough times and found hope again is really inspiring. I love how you see your scars as 'texture' and how you've embraced this new chapter in your life with such strength. It's awesome to see you putting your heart into things you love, like wheelchair tennis and your studies. Your story is a powerful reminder that no matter how dark it gets, there's always light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks for being such an incredible source of hope and inspiration for everyone who's facing tough times. You rock!
I felt her when she teared up at the "what's worth living for" question. Those of us who struggle with suicidal thoughts and ideation want nothing more than to find that Thing™. Give me something that makes this pain worth it. Give me hope, give me connection, because the loneliness and... What's the word.. Uncertainty? Not knowing that you will be okay. Not knowing if this pain is forever or not. Because it hurts to be alive. But we want it so bad. And little things make everything worth it. Someone texting you, having your back, helping you study or encouraging your skills and hobbies. Validation, support, safety, that's all people need. Community and connection. This puts people who are "different" to be at risk of isolation, bullying, and other things that could lead to depression. Childhood trauma is also a huge factor, if you can't be safe at home with your caretakers then you might as well be alone. I'm proud of Val. I'm proud of how real she is. It's hard to talk about your past attempts. And recognizing that she doesn't need to be happy, she needs to be OK. She needs to accept herself. I need to accept myself too. Thank you for this video!
This was a powerful, beautiful episode. Thank you Val for being so brave to tell your story. Life really does suck a lot of the time for a lot of people, if not most, unfortunately. We find ways to cope & feel at least content overall, with some happy moments here & there. No one's gonna give you a prize for living the best life so you do you & try to find joy in whatever you can.
She's the most strong person I've ever come across. Major hugs and strength to you Val ! You rock! I hope you get to have that book shop somewhere in the future😇
not sure if you're gonna see this comment, but hey there, val! it must be hard for you to tell everything you've gone through, and im truly sorry for that, none deserves to live in such a painful path. but i do thank you so much for sharing it with the world. you're so brave and amazing, im very proud of you. life will always be hard, yet there will always be something worth the living that's hidden somewhere and waiting for you to find it out. so.. cheer up and keep going, you're doing so great. i wish all the good things on this planet to be delivered to you, i wish you a blessed life where you meet good people to surround you. thank you for stay alive, val✨💛
You're a boss Valerie, as someone who struggled hard with suicidal thoughts and depression for decades, watching this really gave me courage. You're very eloquent too so keep living because life is short anyway now that I'm approaching 40 in just the blink of an eye.
Can't imagine what valerie have gone through but she just make the bravest choice that she's sharing the experience to the world. And love that question "what is something worth living for?" it really makes me thinking about it myself.
I think that the "wouldn't you be making your family sad?" made it SO much worse for me, because I know/knew they cared about me, and that made me feel SO guilty for being suicidal. Knowing that my family cared did not help all that much when it came to what was actually triggering that. It delayed it long enough for them to get me help, but it made me feel very much worse for those months.
It brought a lot of different feelings and thoughts to me while watching this. It’s definitely not easy for Val to open herself up and answer those questions. And thanks to the team for making this video, it means a lot to us watching this, mostly for those struggling with the same issues or having family/friends who are dealing with suicidal thoughts. And I really like what Val said at the end of the video, that’s being more content and try to accept the situation as it is, sometimes doing this will let us be less judgemental and make us feel less miserable about our problems. Thanks so much for those words Val, sending all my love to you
I've never been diagnosed but I've been through times so low I nearly jumped a few times. But fast forward 7-8 years later, I'm a lot happier now. Despite feeling suicidal, I always had a little voice of hope telling me that things could improve for me, or that there are little things in life worth living for, hence everything Val said was so relatable. Happy for you ❤
Never met you...never heard of you...never heard your story...never spoke with you. Well I am the most happiest that you are still here. CANADA thinking of you.
I love you Valerie, you describe everything perfectly because I can never find the right words when someone ask me about my scars or tell me to "stop doing that". Keep going Valerie! I love how well spoken you are, very smart and youre inspiring to me
hey val! this brought a lot of pain hearing how much you have suffered, yet i'm just so happy hearing all the things you want to do in the future. it takes such great courage to accept life for what is is, and i hope you know i'll always be rooting for you ❤
Putting qualifications aside, I’m a Singaporean in mid-30s, and I can say that your articulation/expression/communication is top10 amongst people I’ve encountered (means beyond leaders/bosses/lecturers,etc). When rewatching this in a slower mode, I realised most of your sentences deserves ponder & digestion bit-by-bit, as they’re simple lines yet make so much life sense (which we tend to brush off). I can’t imagine how much courage you’ve to pull through with everything, I can only say: You’re Amazing
Sweet doll ❤️ god bless her! It is so brave to come on a public platform and speak about your experience with mental illness I hope for nothing but the best for her ❤️
Dear Valerie, Thank you for sharing your story. Your courage and resilience are truly inspiring. I understand the pain and hopelessness that can come with such struggles, as I lost my best friend to suicide as well. It's a pain that's difficult to describe and seems impossible to erase from our minds. But please remember, Valerie, that you are not alone. There is always hope, and there are people who care about you and want to support you. You have incredible strength within you, and I believe in your ability to overcome these challenges. As you pursue your dreams as an author, know that your words have the power to inspire and uplift others who may be silently battling their own mental health issues. You have the opportunity to make a difference and remind others that they don't have to face their struggles alone. Take things one step at a time and be kind to yourself. Don't put too much stress on your shoulders or keep everything inside. Reach out to those around you and seek the support you need. Remember that you have a community of people who care about you and are there to stand by your side. Valerie, you are amazing and brave. I wish you all the success in the world. If our paths ever cross, I will give you the biggest hug imaginable. Never give up, and keep shining your light. With heartfelt support, Benetton
Thank you for sharing this Valerie. Hope things will be better for you. Your last sentence is very nice, "that's life is, just be happy and be content".. I hope all good things will happen to you ❤
It’s tough, nvr easy. It’s lonely thinking u are facing it alone. Glad to see her open up, able to talk about it, shows so much courage & bravery. Remember u are not alone, there is always ppl around, who loves unconditionally. Love well ❤
Hi Val. I love books n love arranging them in the order pleasing to my eyes too. So when I got my current place, I intentionally looked for a unit which doesn’t already have all those wall fixtures, something really plain, so I can build lavish to the ceiling type of bookshelves on 2 walls in the hall. May not be as big scale as one likes, but it was so therapeutic for me. Hope you are hang on to your dreams, get into uni, get a job which can allow your dreams to be built upon, and make yourself happy one day. Remember, the best is yet to come 🌸
Thanks so much for watching and for all your kind responses :) Valerie has seen them and would like us to post a message on her behalf:
hi!!! i’m val, and thank you so much for your warmth, kindness and receptiveness. it means a lot to me and i’m moved beyond words. to think that our society has moved from an initially strictly harsh and cruel standpoint to this is a great step forward for all, especially those who hurt as i type this.
i’m on instagram at @/ disabledvalerie , and i would be happy to see you there! my tiktok is a little dead right now, but it’s @/ spookyspine.recovery (it was halloween when i came up with that username) see you there!
thank you endlessly, over and over, to OGS team especially wenqi and tan tong for first listening.
- val O(∩_∩)O
Thank you for sharing your story...you speak so well... Respect
I would love to read a book of your writing, Val. Fiction or non fiction it wouldn't matter, I'm sure you would have an amazing story to tell
Jiayou Val! You are inspiring, keep writing!
If you have a book store, I'd love to come. I love books and their smells give me happy thoughts😊 Fight for the book store Val...
IM SO PROUD OF YOU VAL!!!! I’ll go follow you on IG… I’m so touched by your journey! ❤❤❤
She's right. Suicidality is not rational. It's useless to scold or tell a suicidal person to think of their loved ones. You can't imagine how bad it must feel for them to get to that stage. Instead of saying such empty and harsh words, you can say "I can't imagine how much you're suffering now, but I'm here for you"
Valerie, thank you for being so honest and willing to do this interview. Rooting for you. From one survivor to another
Exactly, i hate it when people say that people who commit suicide are selfish or weak, like wtf.
It seems cruel to be honest, like they are the ones suffering to the point they want to commit suicide and yet instead of being comforted they are told to feel guilty and worry about other people (the "loved ones) who arent suffering as much as them-
My mom did this to me.. everytime we ended up in emergency due to being suicidal she would guilt me about how I was making the family feel.. makes me sad thinking back on it but I understand she did not understand the pain I was in
@@mychannel8809most asian boomer parents were like this.
I really thought about my loved ones and it did helped me, mum's one thing she said to me that I am the reason she is living and I would never hurt her even in my life's cost, I am really happy Ive been recovered and I love my life like I have never after all we all live once and after death there is literally nothing, near death experience people also experienced that they were not even aware of their "death" like they have seen themselves and actually tried to do their best to save their own body, so even our soul is seeking life after some suicidal attempt. Life is precious there are really so many different reasons to be living for.
I remember, when I was 15, being suicidal... and telling myself, "Okay, if this is my lowest low, then I want to see what my life's highest high looks like." So I gave myself ten years. I lived my life with an "expiration date" in mind, but I really fought hard to make the best of it. And towards the end of the year after my 25th birthday had passed, I remember suddenly thinking to myself, "I made it pass the set deadline I had in mind... and my life is pretty darn fantastic."
I'm married. I have a kid. A loving family. I enjoy what I do for a living. I have dreams for my future.
Life is pretty darn good.
So if you're going through a low period in your life, please stick around... I'd love for you to see what your life's highest high would look like.
It does get better. Not immediately - but eventually, it will.
Thank you for your advice! i'll be sure to use it:)
Tysm for sharing your story❤ youre so strong❤
This put tears to my eyes. This is so realistically healing, I am so happy for you. Thank you so much for sharing.
What do you do for a living?
@@clydejason1 I'm a business owner. My companies run art classes and events. :)
She’s so articulate and well spoken, obviously a very intelligent person, keep going Val, you have so much strength behind that voice!
She has very good command of English. That is a great attribute.
True, I love how she spoke fluently and say a lot of 'advanced word', also it really touched me when she says that "Just having that dream even if it's unattainable, even if you don't get it, you were living for something"
English is the first language in singapore guys, but still she‘s just amazing.
(Out of topic) yes exactly and she's also really pretty :) ♡
She speaks English more eloquently than the majority of native English speakers - particularly Americans.
6:18 I hurt to hear her say that…
I remember when my sister was a preteen and hurting so deeply and feeling alone. She attempted to take an overdose of something that she didn’t realize wouldn’t be lethal. So she just made herself really uncomfortable and sick. When my mom learned why, she scolded her with the words “Don’t you know how expensive a funeral is? We can’t afford that!” I am still so pained by that memory. My poor baby was crying out for help and she just got reprimanded. After my mom left her room, I came in and sat on my sister’s bed beside her and gave her a big thermos of water and told her to drink it all to clear her stomach and system. I told her that I was glad she was unsuccessful because I wanted her around and I loved her. I assured her I would help her with whatever she needed and made her promise to talk to me first if she ever felt like that again. She agreed with tears in her eyes (I’m haunted by the memory of that look in her eyes of shame and sadness). I am trying to forgive my mom now for that shameful response to something obviously coming from heartbreak. But I feel like this sweet woman does about it, that it just makes me so livid! How dare you treat someone hurting with such disregard!
Anyway, unfortunately my mother lived to regret and eat those words bc my sister was later killed at 24 by a drunk driver and had no insurance. So she still ended up paying for an expensive funeral by the recklessness of someone else. I’m sure she wishes she never brought that up. At least I hope so…
i'm so sorry to hear that she died :(
That's awful
Wow 🙏🏾 Rip to your sister
Oh my goodness. I am so sorry you have to live with that memory. And I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope that she made it through that dark time and had some happy years before her passing. She was so lucky to have you. May she rest in peace and paradise until you meet again 🤍
@@BrownEyedBeauty2008 thank you so much🥰 I’m happy to report she did have some wonderful years before her passing! She was a vivacious person and didn’t let anything snuff her spark! She definitely left her mark on everyone she met and we are all the better for it🩷
"They just see me as a product that has failed."
That hit me hard. It takes a long time to shake that too.
It's been 5 years since my last hospitalisation 😊
Keep fighting ❤
I'm glad you're here with us
hope you’re doing well out there! ♥️
As someone who also survived a suicide attempt, this video brought so many tears to my eyes. When I was in high school, I also did the exact same thing as Valerie, at first I felt the same hopelessness and depression. The stress of social pressure, academics, expectations, tiger parenting, raging hormones. The feeling of wanting to end it all. I felt so alone and no one can understand. I started inflicted self-harm by cutting my wrists, tying nooses, then I began to do research, and my final attempt was overdosing. I woke up in ED, covered in my own vomit, it did NOT succeed. My attempt failed. I was brought back to the world I wanted to escape from. Right then and there I felt scared but the scariest sigght was seeing my parents wailing. That was what truly woke me up from the eternal nightmare. I am grateful for the failed attempt. My second chance starts now. I've been going to therapy ever since, and it's been getting much better. It can only get better once you've experienced the worst, near death. I still do have those dark thoughts every now and then, but I don't feel suicidal anymore. It's slow, but we eventually heal, and the scars will fade. We may never escape our past, but we can always look forward to the future. Thanks for sharing Valerie, because of you, I was also able to share my story. It feels like I just threw a heavy pebble into the pond. ❤
Well done for fighting. It must've been not easy carrying that heavy load on your own. Your experience might help someone one day because you will be there for them and they won't feel alone. Sending hugs and 💌 xx
💜
Stay strong, I am so happy for you. ❤❤❤ Never give up and know that you are not alone and that you can always heal, never loose hope.
i'm happy you're still here. you seem very wonderful.
🖤🖤🖤🖤💜💜💜💜💞💞💞
You can tell she’s such a cool person, deep thinker, has a quirky personality and a great sense of humor. I pray that she has good friends and family that rally around her and reinforce that she has worth, is loved and can accomplish anything she sets her mind to in times when she’s in doubt.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.sporessss I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is. dr.sporessss
A difficult video to watch and I'm sure it was harder for her to tell. I'm glad this young lady is still here and persevering ❤
Well said. ❤
@@miranda13c
lets analyse the lies which are world wide believed and origin from masons:
lie: schools are of use (fact. schools keep slavery alive and stands for dumbing down the population of mankind)
lie: moon and mars landings, (fact: even masons know they cannot leave - earth is closed system, unless you want to drown, there is no other place created for us to live in.)
lie: news channels share truth (fact: these are for politic propaganda)
lie: voting matters (fact: politic propaganda)
lie: money has a value of its own (fact: it is just a tool of this world, which value has been agreed upon world wide, it should be not loved, only used as needed.)
lie: NASA lies (globe and all....) (fact: NASA stands for TO DECEIVE and 2 members expose their own lies, one is still alive, the other (Wernher Von Braun) place a clear clue on his own gravestone) - you havn´t searched - have you?
lie: the lgbtq++++ propaganda (fact: it is a part of masonry depopulation agenda, 500 000 000 souls, thats their goal - Georgia Guidestones!)
lie: Evolution and the dinosaurs. (fact: mankind is not hybrid kind)
to keep stating that there was an evolution, then we ain´t humans, we aint then mankind, we are then hybrids. Are you a hybrid?
Lie: holidays (xmas, Halloween, new year eve and so on) (fact: PAGAN HOLIDAYS, to praise BAAL, the god of this world)
lie: U.F.Os (fact: they are demons/evil spirits in high places, against whom we fight daily = spiritual warfare)
lie: rules and laws rule the world (fact: signs and symbols of masonry do)
lie: believe in being educated (fact: found daily living with the lack of knowledge)
lie: religions are ways to heaven (fact: JESUS CHRIST is only way to heaven. Religions, no matter its name = masonic garbage)
lie: our dead loved ones stay around to “ghost” (fact: hunting and ghosting is job of demons, not of humans. We, humans, come from GOD and return back to HIM and all the stories of having been seen a ghost - terrifying, scary, dark, cold - again no job of analysing been done here by you- right?)
Lie: Humans have no immune system and we need vaccines as these save lives (fact: humans HAVE IMMUNE SYSTEM and vaccines are created for one or two purpose: to kill or to cripple. If you took all their poison shots then later in life comes all kinds of medical diagnoses = vaccines crippled you - remember that)
lie: there is no GOD (fact: There is GOD, who redeems sinners and created us directly from the dust of the earth: Psalms 139:14 (KJV)
I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.)
to keep claiming that there is no GOD and we aint created directly from the dust of the earth, we soon run out logic, regardless to we place “evolution” in our claims or not and our dead, whats happening to them as they sleep in their graves? - they decay away, becoming the dust form which they were taken, if it ain`t so then we are simply reality deniers.
lie: 911 was terror attack (fact: 911 was an inside job, meaning the work of your loved government)
lie: Tv watching is of use (fact: television (TV) = tell a lie vision, a weapon for our minds, keeping it under MK ULTRA)
half lie/half truth: earth is a stage where everyone plays rolls (fact: earth is stage, a freemasonry checkerboard, where both side, black and white are masons and humans both in politics and regular souls = the naive public gets daily played)
lie: children are government to raise (fact: children are parents to raise, it takes 2 to make them, it takes 2 to raise them).
Lie: we live already in the matrix (fact: we live since birth in BABYLON which is to become “matrix” as Man - us, must merge with machine aka take the mark of the beast and then matrix aka false reality becomes to be 100%)
lie: humans are not intelligent enough (fact: it is forgotten fact, we all are intelligent, many have suffered the illness from this world, being indoctrinated by masons, cause who give us the school system which we have? masons did, because they need slaves.
Lie: love is low standers and = lust (fact love is high standard as love means>
John 15:13
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
Lie> do what thy wilt there is no body who has the right to judge you (fact> GOD SHALL JUDGE YOU AFTER YOU HAVE DEPARTED ON EARTH and Christians are also called to give out righteous judgment, therefore repent * born again * go and sin no more)
lie: slavery is over (fact: slavery was never over, it just changes a little as we are no longer buy`d or sold, still prepared through school systems for our future slavery, succumb to our slave lives based on our free will)
24 lies, should i go on?
This world ain´t deceived, out there to deceive?
9 - 5 working industry was created, because masons wants slaves. Schools systems prepared us for our future slavery. Wise ones reject this and seek GOD and start relying on HIM fully. it is unwise to count on the governments of this world. Didn´t they proved in 2020 how badly far are they from reality? slavery turn no soul rich, the price for such slavery is opposite:
you lost:
time (1st 20 years = childhood, then comes 40 years for slavery = your 20s, your 30s, your 40s, your 50s, then comes 50 years of being elderly = 60 - 100)
health = all these vaccines, which slowly turns you a cripple + man made fake food ( we are dust and should consume which comes directly from dust)
life = no time and no health = early grave
Each of us shall lose 3 times, gain nothing more then illusions.
When reading THE BIBLE (KJV) and complaining abut the slavery in the past, know then this, that
9 - 5 working industry = slavery of our day.
You want to know the past - read bible, you want to know present - read bible - you want to know future - read bible.
I pray she writes a book. Her story is so inspiring and she has more wisdom and intelligence than most people her age. She survived that jump for a reason. God had a greater purpose for her.
And I hope she also gets to open her very own bookstore too!
I would disagree that she has more wisdom and intelligence than most people her age based off of just this, maybe a lot of people her age but I wouldn’t say most
Ik her book could help so many others who are suffering and help those who aren’t suffering understand better
I WONT BUY IT
@@leelunk8235 NO ONE CARES
"Just having that dream, even if its unattainable,even if you dont get it.. You were living for something" that really hit me. Thank you💜
True. Having something to look forward to
I had a P.E teacher tell me one time in health class "Teenagers only see as far as their nose. Thinking this is the best or worst it's ever going to get. Look past your nose. Remember, it does and will get better. It never stays like this." And somehow, that's always stuck with me. And now I'm 38, and it's true. Life does get much better!
im 40 and it hasnt gotten better (yet)...
That's just something they say to excuse the suffering of others as just a phase, so they don't have to do anything to help.
it rarely does, trying to comfort people with lies is just so dumb
@@jordan7402spot on! Life actually gets worse the older we get. But, it can improve with support. Neurotypical adults (parents, teachers, authorities) do a pretty terrible job of raising children, telling lies, giving false hope, and attempting to mould young minds into becoming mindless drones to fit into the society they can benefit from.
There is so much more to life than being the best at everything, being academically excellent, making the most money, being the most attractive, being the strongest, etc.
There is so much pressure on young people to be all of these things, and then told they are failures if they do not succeed in these things, when in fact we are just animals sharing this planet for a very small amount of time. We should be supporting each other, and trying to make our short lives here as happy as possible.
i'm 30 and it kept getting worse. life is hell and i'm only still here because i was too dumb to properly overdose and too cowardly to jump in front of a train.
“Happy is not the Right word but more so, I have accepted it.” And “I think living is very complex”
I felt that.
As someone who has been suffering from severe depression for over 25 years since I was 13, I can absolutely relate to her. I've tried to take my life when I was around 17 and 18 when my depression was too severe... but failed. I used to self-harm, which i've regretted later on in life. But I'm thankful my attempts failed. Growing up, I learn how to deal with everything in my life. I survived it all, alone. It's a daily battle when it comes to depression and anxiety and I'll continue fighting. Like her, I get pissed off when people tell me to "think of other people/family"... excuse me. When a person is at a point where they don't even care for their own life and anything else, you're telling them to care about others? What about their feelings? What about the pain they're going through? What about their battle with their own demon? Who's gonna care about them? Yet people dare to tell them to care about others? Some people are so ignorant when it comes to mental health issues.
i totally can relate...same here
I tried to take my own life when I was younger too. Since then, my older brother has looked at me with distaste. He said I was selfish for putting the family through such an ordeal. I tried to explain that when a person is suicidal, they’d think that dying is doing their loved ones a favour. It seems like your family are still supportive of you, and that’s so great! Familial support is so important. Thank you for sharing your story. 🥰
jiayous! sending good energies your way 🙆♀
Your older brother is an absolute scum for saying that holy shit
I can understand why you were suicidal judging from your brother's behaviour. Usually it is the unkind and harsh family environment that is the root cause. Hope you have risen above that and be kind and forgiving to yourself. No one is perfect but we don't have to act tough which seem unkind.
Jia you! I pray you that you will be blessed.
Many of our tongues work faster than our brains so don't take it too hard & l believe your brother still treasure you but doesn't understand the trauma you had gone thru. I hope this story will inspire you and give you hope that you are not alone, pls take good care ya
My friend jumped and lost his leg. At first he lied and said it was an accident. Then he confided in me about how he felt he cannot complain since he did it to himself. He was held hostage in the country where it happened due to extensive medical bills. After several years he was finally released and allowed to return to the US, but by then he was afraid because he was actually healing emotionally and spiritually, and feared the US would bring back his old feelings of hopelessness. He passed away unexpectedly years after the jump because his heart had been weakened. I miss him. He was a great friend with wonderful advice.
womp womp
@@kris2tuffwhat the hell is wrong with you
@@kris2tuffwow
“Just having that dream. Even if it is unattainable. Even if you don’t get it, you were living for something.”
Very wise words Val. i’ll have a long think on this tonight thank you. (Big hugs from one Val to another.) ♥️
This ❤❤❤ one of the reasons i still want to live
you will be a pig following a carrot on a stick and you will be happy!
“You don’t know me.”
Those words are so powerful. She’s completely right. Nobody who doesn’t know her has no idea what she’s been through. I’m glad she said them to that woman. And I pray anyone else who’s brave enough to show your scars feels the strength to feel, think, and say the same thing. Nobody knows your pain or your past or present. But that doesn’t dictate a life where you’re judged. You’re so loved and worth so much. ❤
I am also a jump surviver...
For me, part of it was i did think of my family. I was so ill i was convinced that those close to me would be happier and better off without me.
Please dont guilt suicide survivors.
Life shouldn't be dependant on guilt.
We need to be taught how to love and value ourselves with therapy. Self love is a skill.
Being made to feel like we are selfish or attention seeking causes issues in our recovery
People who make thise comments dont realise the dangerous game they are playing.
Tou put mentally vulnerable people at risk of relapse.
Just keep your comments to yourself. Like a polite human should.
And to anyone struggling.
From someone who has been there and still visits there from time to time. It gets easier.
It truly does.
I just take it day by day. And on really bad days. Minute by minute.
💜
I am glad you survive. How is the feeling of jump? Is it scary or relieved? ❤
❤
I hope your OK 💜
I feel like scars are not a sign of failing or being weak, but the complete oposite. I think scars show how strong you were and that you survived the hardest moments of your life.
I attempted suicide when I was 12. Because of my age, no one listened to my concerns when I told them about my thoughts and feelings. I went to sleep begging for someone to hear me and take my pain away, but after a while, it starts to leave you numb. My only emotional outlet was used as a manifestation for my darkest thoughts. At the time, I never thought that I could make it out and be happy. However, I am much better now, and although I'm still young, I have great plans for the future and I'm slowly working towards my goal every day. I want to be a veterinarian and my zoology class is planning to go to the zoo in order to look at their genetics lab and see the things behind tbe scenes. I'm very excited because I've waited for this opportunity for a long time. My family is not the best, but they want me to succeed, so I'm doing what I have dreamed about for years. It is never too late to work for something you want. Do not settle for a job doing something you don't care about. Make your job something that you truly love.
The closest I came to suicide was in 2019, just before the pandemic. I was in university, and failing everything. So much darkness. So many bad things in my head, and it seemed like it was worse every day and would never end. I felt stupid, a waste of space and resources, I felt sorry that my parents had to raise such a useless child. I would attempt to cry myself to sleep every night. When I could only lie there and hate myself, I would cut. The anger I felt towards myself was so intense that I WANTED to punish myself. I'd cut until the painkilling chemicals in my brain would calm me.
I pulled away from everyone. I can't remember talking to my friends at all. I ran away from family functions because I was not happy there, and I didn't want them to ask questions and find out how I was pissing away college funds. but i wasnt pissing. I was studying. studying HARD. 4 hrs a day every day. for weeks. I was trying to damn hard. and my tests would return marked 30s. 50s. i was passing nothing.
What saved me was the pandemic actually. I just...dropped out. I quit. I just stopped mid semester and never went back. I got medicine. I got a dog and take everything one day at a time. Sometimes I do think I'd be better off dead, but thats just because depression makes your forget what its like to feel joy. you think it was always this bad, and it will stay like that forever. so whats the point?
in life.. there is no point i guess
That’s why I’m staying alive. To find the point in life. I think it’s different for everybody, most say they stay here for family some their pets others say to enjoy the money they’ll work hard for but I’m still tryna find mine so I can die peacefully with no questions or regrets. I could end it all now hating myself or in 50 years in a hospital bed with the meaning of my life 🙏
Cigarettes and alcohol addiction actually destroyed my life. I could remember several years ago, when i lost my husband I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got addicted to alcohol and cigarettes. Not until my son recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Congrats on your recovery. Most persons never realizes psilocybin can be used as a miracle medication to save lives. Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death bud, lets be honest here.
Can you help me with the reliable source 🙏. I'm 56 and have suffered for years with addiction, anxiety and severe ptsd, I got my panic attacks under control myself years ago and they have come back with a vengeance, I'm constantly trying to take full breaths but can't get the full satisfying breath out, it's absolutely crippling me, i live in Germany. I don't know much about these mushrooms. Really need a reliable source!! Can't wait to get them.
YES very sure of Dr.benfungi. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
Ive done shrooms last month in my house. It taught me how severely traumatized I was from alcohol. I healed from many mental traumas from my past and was able to forgive, let go. Shrooms to me is a remedy not a vice. I even felt more refreshed the morning after. So no hangovers. No depression mood for days. No anxiety.I now have a more calm mind
How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta
To the creators: Thank you so much for making this video
To val if you do see this message: You're right. life is very complex and hard. We all live a different life, be it better or worse. That doesnt mean any one is any less worth living. Seeing you grow to where you are I feel extremely happy that you have brought yourself together and be able to move forward in life. As for the people who give you unsavoury comments, I do hope they wont affect you too much. Everything belongs in a spectrum of good and bad. We have to deal with them regardless, else how would we know what's good? Finally i'd like to say be proud. Be fkin proud of being yourself, to be able to conquor your demons and never let them hold you back from living. Cheers to your brave soul.
The key takeaway for me from this video is to listen to others with kindness and no judgement. Often we tend to impose our perception onto others unknowingly with the intention of trying to help them. Perhaps, lending others an active, kind and non-judgmental ear would be something that they need.
Do look out for one another and check in with your loved ones and friends from time to time. Remember to seek professional help if you need to… you are not alone… stay strong everyone.
For my generation, we used to hear comments that said someone who committed suicide was being selfish. We were literally being "brainwashed" into such concept. Therefore, I'm not surprised that Valerie would receive such comments from strangers. Please forgive them as they didn't understand you.
Thank you for sharing your story. This will help many people to understand how a person feels before and after suicide. You might not know, your story would have saved many people.
Valarie, please continue having big dreams and may you find your inner peace.
“i think one thing worth living for is your hopes”
i needed to hear that. she is so wise and beautiful, i hope she knows how valuable and important she is for sharing her story with grace and strength.
People always say "think about ur family" But they naively forget, if they are that supportive, she wouldnt become what she become
Hey, that’s not true ❤
That’s definitely not true, many people die of suicide despite having wonderful supportive families.
I love my family but when I was having strong suicidal thoughts all I could think about is how much their lives would improve without me in it; they wouldn't have to worry about me and I wouldn't cause them stress. This makes absolutely no sense since my family would be devastated without me, but when you're in that state your brain really makes you believe those things.
@@batacumba some just look like that from the outside. The only thing i heard while having suicidal thoughts was "get over yourself". I wouldnt call that supportive. I love my parents, but they dont understand and dont want to understand the mental health struggles.
@@mmgs1148 I’m really sorry you went through that. But there are plenty of people who themselves say their families are great and always there for them but it still didn’t prevent their suicidal feelings. I’m not talking about how it may appear to others, I’m saying from people who have attempted suicide and say it had nothing to do with a lack of support. But it’s true that too often people lack the support they need during their worst times. I hope you’re doing better now.
This made me sob. As a survivor of several attempts myself and being able to say im on the other side of it… i just wanna give her a huge hug and be her friend and make her realize she is so loved and brings so much value to the world. This story is powerful. Youre also more than that attempt, youre more than your disability. Sending so much love and hope to this girl
Glad you are still here🤍
We should not only show empathy but also learn how to show empathy in the right way.
Her last words about 'being content' is key. Stop trying to impress others or obtain material things...find your inner peace and then life is beautiful.
In 2021 I tried to commit suicide also. I jumped 5 months after my father died. I always struggled with my mental health and I had no one that would listen to me. I had many failed suicide attempts from overdoses of paracetamol to jumping from a taxi. That's just to name a few. Life was pretty bad and I like Val am thankful now I survived. I now live with AVN a hip condition where the blood flow to my hips is cut off and I broke 5 bones in my back and it was 13 bones in total, I'm also a wheelchair user. I'm definitely going to contact Val but I am afraid id bring back some memories best left behind.
Typing this as I watch
I guess this is the most difficult OGS episode to watch just from the opening
Credits to the production team and the survivor for powering thru this, you guys give us strength
Years ago I saw you in the same ward as me but I didnt get to say Hi. I am glad that you have had breakthroughs about yourself (same!) and that you are still here with us. The part about the books really resonated with me, it was really cute when you seem so excited about it!
Cruelty: “Are you trying to seek attention”
Vs. Reality, “I was once, but now I’m past that.”
What a brave human. I understand her. People who want to live simply because they are alive cannot easily understand what it is like to be suicidal.
Dear Valerie, I don't know if you'll see this message, but I wanted to thank you so much for sharing your story, and your bravery. I get into severe bouts of depression myself, and everything you said resonates with me so much. Thank you for speaking on that part about living for your hope. I think so many people automatically think the answer would be living for your family/loved ones, but we forget that although we all love our family, we need to love ourselves first and foremost - and living for your hopes is such a beautiful and honourable thing. I am living for my hope now. Thank you Valerie
Those were really hard questions to answer. Val was really brave to answer them. As someone with chronic depression since childhood, I agree with all her sentiments. In that dark place, I believed that suicide would make life better for the ones I love.
Same, I was 19, my leg is messed up for life. Life is better now though, or rather, I got better at coping with it.
Good job darling, ❤
Well spoken young lady. Rooting for you!
Thank you so much for sharing this. The biggest strength in us is the ability to be open about our vulnerabilities; "I jump because I want to die." is such a powerful statement.
I'm a grown man but I'm pretty sure when I was younger or even now, I still feel certain thoughts similar to Valerie. I'm sure I'm not alone in this.
Valerie is really really brave for standing up towards her negative thoughts, even braver for sharing this in front of the camera. Our society needs more of her voices. She makes us feel not alone and give us the ability to be braver.
Thank you Valerie. Thank you OGS.
You are definitely a valuable treasured human being, Valerie. I can see you being the bookseller you want.
This young lady has so much quiet intelligence and a dry sense of humour, along with a sweet-natured, insightful facial expression. I do hope she finds some measure of happiness in life. Everyone deserves a bit of happiness.
You are so so brave. Thank you for being here with us today Valerie.
Don’t stop writing, Val. Your story has already touched thousands and I can’t even imagine how many more would feel seen by your work if you ever choose to share it.
Thank you for being strong enough to speak your truth. Thank you to the producers too. So much strength.
Hi Valerie! Thank you for being so brave to share your story and the healing journey you allowed yourself to take :-) I love reading books and visiting bookstores so cannot wait for the day when you open that bookstore and turn this dream into reality! keep on keeping on Valerie, you’re more than a conqueror than you already know!
Thank you for being so brave and for sharing your story, Val! So happy you got a second chance at life ❤
I'm bawling writing this. I had my most recent attempt a few months ago and I don't know how to put my feelings into words. You did exactly that for me. That's how I felt, it makes me feel so seen. Like someone else actually understands what it's like.I'm in my final year of med school and it has been so hard keeping up with it while also fighting long standing mental health issues. I hope I find some hope and acceptance as you have.
Thank you for speaking on behalf of us that struggle this much in life!
thank you Valerie for being so courageous and sharing your story. i’m in awe of how far you’v came, the obstacles you’ve overcome.
having to lose someone to suicide, I think this video helps me to cope better knowing the “rationale” and solidifying the fact that it wasn’t because the people in their life weren’t enough, but just that the darker thoughts got to them. grieving is not an easy journey so on behalf of every soul that cares for you, i thank you for continuing to choose life everyday
i also jumped from the rooftop at the age of 14 and ended up getting my spine and ankle broken, im almost fully recovered able to live a full life. Im proud of those of you who are still fighting, its hard and a pretty cliche thing to say but, stay strong dears these problems will end no matter what
Def made me tear up. You’re here for a reason I know sometimes especially in our darkest moments we don’t know that but we are. Your story is gonna help so many people with the same feelings of hopelessness , me included. Thank you for this.
Hold on pain ends. It’s a bad day not a bad life. To those struggling it’s okay to seek help not all counselors ect are amazing BUT you will find someone who will make you view life in a better light. Everyday is a fight and a struggle but it’s truly worth it. We only get one life I’m praying for those struggling to get through each day.
This video means a lot. I don't quite know how to explain it. I've attempted about 7 times, all failed, and I've been in a state of mind for years where I don't even know if I want to get better since it means I have to commit to healing and staying in this world. No one takes it quite seriously. My parents threatened to lock me away in a hospital when I was 17. People tell me that I am not allowed to think like that, that I should just be happy. People tell me I'm gross and lazy for being too depressed to take care of myself. I'm expected to get out of this 5 year burnout and start happily producing, because I'm only valuable when I produce. My parents tell me how expensive I am. And in all of that, I am trying to make what this video says clear to the people around me. I'm hurting like crazy and I need help, more than what I've been getting. I need kindness and rest, not screaming and threatening. My mental health makes me less than a human to others, and them treating me like that makes my mental health worse. Sometimes I hope I get to the point where I want to get better. I'm not there yet. But watching this video somehow makes me feel like it's okay to not want to get better. Or maybe just that it's okay to feel bad.
I can relate - you summed up the struggles very eloquently. Though I'm overall better now, it can just take one thing to bring you back to that place. Just taking it day by day right now. ❤
@kaisoep I really wish you can find some kind of peace inside yourself, I understand how much suffering you bury in you, and I hope finally you can let it all go and be relieved. You are not less human than others and it is definitely okay not to feel happy and good in every period of our life. Be kind to yourself and accept what you feel, only through acceptance we can then be ready to let go and be soothed. I send a virtual hug and I really wish you all the best in your life, keep fighting towards your happy place :)
You are worthy. You are worth it. You are worthwhile. Even if the people around you dont see it, I see it and others will. Hang in there... dare to hope. God bless
this is the most down to Earth person I've ever listened to. How refreshing.
Rooting for you Valerie! Because of what you’ve gone through, you have such wisdom within you, as you speak! Wishing you the very best in life, as may you work towards your hopes and dreams :)
I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for this young lady. I sincerely do hope that she will stay strong and continue to be motivated to pursue her dreams. I’m rooting for you!
I needed to see this. I used to be so harmful to myself mentally. I'm glad I sought help and I hope everyone feeling similar currently, in the past or in the future. You're not alone. Its hard and hard but it will get so much better. You've got this.
your words resonate with a lot of us out there, be it survivors or people who still struggle on that path. thank you val for sharing your thoughts. I see you and i wish that you will always have the strength to face all the hard times in life.
Such an amazing sharing and extremely eye-opening. Rooting for you Val!
Valerie, you're truly amazing. The way you've fought through such tough times and found hope again is really inspiring. I love how you see your scars as 'texture' and how you've embraced this new chapter in your life with such strength. It's awesome to see you putting your heart into things you love, like wheelchair tennis and your studies. Your story is a powerful reminder that no matter how dark it gets, there's always light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks for being such an incredible source of hope and inspiration for everyone who's facing tough times. You rock!
I felt her when she teared up at the "what's worth living for" question.
Those of us who struggle with suicidal thoughts and ideation want nothing more than to find that Thing™. Give me something that makes this pain worth it. Give me hope, give me connection, because the loneliness and... What's the word.. Uncertainty? Not knowing that you will be okay. Not knowing if this pain is forever or not. Because it hurts to be alive.
But we want it so bad. And little things make everything worth it. Someone texting you, having your back, helping you study or encouraging your skills and hobbies. Validation, support, safety, that's all people need. Community and connection. This puts people who are "different" to be at risk of isolation, bullying, and other things that could lead to depression. Childhood trauma is also a huge factor, if you can't be safe at home with your caretakers then you might as well be alone.
I'm proud of Val. I'm proud of how real she is. It's hard to talk about your past attempts. And recognizing that she doesn't need to be happy, she needs to be OK. She needs to accept herself. I need to accept myself too. Thank you for this video!
This was a powerful, beautiful episode. Thank you Val for being so brave to tell your story. Life really does suck a lot of the time for a lot of people, if not most, unfortunately. We find ways to cope & feel at least content overall, with some happy moments here & there. No one's gonna give you a prize for living the best life so you do you & try to find joy in whatever you can.
This was powerful. You are needed in this broken world. Thank you for being here and sharing your story.
She's the most strong person I've ever come across. Major hugs and strength to you Val ! You rock! I hope you get to have that book shop somewhere in the future😇
She's incredibly intelligent in the way she speaks and her delivery even more. thanks for sharing
not sure if you're gonna see this comment, but hey there, val! it must be hard for you to tell everything you've gone through, and im truly sorry for that, none deserves to live in such a painful path. but i do thank you so much for sharing it with the world. you're so brave and amazing, im very proud of you. life will always be hard, yet there will always be something worth the living that's hidden somewhere and waiting for you to find it out. so.. cheer up and keep going, you're doing so great. i wish all the good things on this planet to be delivered to you, i wish you a blessed life where you meet good people to surround you. thank you for stay alive, val✨💛
You're a boss Valerie, as someone who struggled hard with suicidal thoughts and depression for decades, watching this really gave me courage.
You're very eloquent too so keep living because life is short anyway now that I'm approaching 40 in just the blink of an eye.
Can't imagine what valerie have gone through but she just make the bravest choice that she's sharing the experience to the world. And love that question "what is something worth living for?" it really makes me thinking about it myself.
My heart goes out to you 💛 Thank you for soldiering on and being here today. You are so strong for that🧚♂️💛
She is very brave to tell her story. I think a lot of us needed to hear it 💕. I wish her nothing but a good life filled with much happiness
I really hope Val is doing well right now, she's amazing and deserves all the happiness!
I think that the "wouldn't you be making your family sad?" made it SO much worse for me, because I know/knew they cared about me, and that made me feel SO guilty for being suicidal. Knowing that my family cared did not help all that much when it came to what was actually triggering that. It delayed it long enough for them to get me help, but it made me feel very much worse for those months.
you're doing well, it was nice meeting you and thank you for sharing
It brought a lot of different feelings and thoughts to me while watching this. It’s definitely not easy for Val to open herself up and answer those questions. And thanks to the team for making this video, it means a lot to us watching this, mostly for those struggling with the same issues or having family/friends who are dealing with suicidal thoughts.
And I really like what Val said at the end of the video, that’s being more content and try to accept the situation as it is, sometimes doing this will let us be less judgemental and make us feel less miserable about our problems. Thanks so much for those words Val, sending all my love to you
From one survivor to another, I'm glad you were one of the lucky ones.
I've never been diagnosed but I've been through times so low I nearly jumped a few times. But fast forward 7-8 years later, I'm a lot happier now. Despite feeling suicidal, I always had a little voice of hope telling me that things could improve for me, or that there are little things in life worth living for, hence everything Val said was so relatable. Happy for you ❤
Never met you...never heard of you...never heard your story...never spoke with you.
Well I am the most happiest that you are still here. CANADA thinking of you.
Val, you've survived so much, and there's much to be proud of yourself.
I met a girl in the psych ward when I was 14 who tried to jump and survived, she was so kind god bless her. 🖤
Val is such a strong lady. Don’t give up Val, pursue your dreams and stay focus to get it. God bless you.
i can listen to her for hours. Thank you for sharing this with us Val
I love you Valerie, you describe everything perfectly because I can never find the right words when someone ask me about my scars or tell me to "stop doing that". Keep going Valerie! I love how well spoken you are, very smart and youre inspiring to me
god made her live for a resson and she is a good person
Scars aren't ugly. they are simply a gift telling you everyday " I Made it."
Wow, she's so brave and articulate..wise beyond her years. I hope she lives a long, healthy life ❤
Thank you so much Val for opening up and talking about it. My brother survived his attempt too. Thank you so much.
hey val! this brought a lot of pain hearing how much you have suffered, yet i'm just so happy hearing all the things you want to do in the future. it takes such great courage to accept life for what is is, and i hope you know i'll always be rooting for you ❤
Putting qualifications aside, I’m a Singaporean in mid-30s, and I can say that your articulation/expression/communication is top10 amongst people I’ve encountered (means beyond leaders/bosses/lecturers,etc). When rewatching this in a slower mode, I realised most of your sentences deserves ponder & digestion bit-by-bit, as they’re simple lines yet make so much life sense (which we tend to brush off). I can’t imagine how much courage you’ve to pull through with everything, I can only say: You’re Amazing
Sweet doll ❤️ god bless her! It is so brave to come on a public platform and speak about your experience with mental illness
I hope for nothing but the best for her ❤️
thank you for sharing this with us. i am humbled by valerie's bravery and honesty.
Dear Valerie,
Thank you for sharing your story. Your courage and resilience are truly inspiring. I understand the pain and hopelessness that can come with such struggles, as I lost my best friend to suicide as well. It's a pain that's difficult to describe and seems impossible to erase from our minds.
But please remember, Valerie, that you are not alone. There is always hope, and there are people who care about you and want to support you. You have incredible strength within you, and I believe in your ability to overcome these challenges.
As you pursue your dreams as an author, know that your words have the power to inspire and uplift others who may be silently battling their own mental health issues. You have the opportunity to make a difference and remind others that they don't have to face their struggles alone.
Take things one step at a time and be kind to yourself. Don't put too much stress on your shoulders or keep everything inside. Reach out to those around you and seek the support you need. Remember that you have a community of people who care about you and are there to stand by your side.
Valerie, you are amazing and brave. I wish you all the success in the world. If our paths ever cross, I will give you the biggest hug imaginable. Never give up, and keep shining your light.
With heartfelt support,
Benetton
A highly insightful and intelligent young lady. She's given lots of thought.
This video would have blessed so many people, regardless where they are in life right now. Thanks for sharing Val 😊
Brought tears to my eyes. Val, please stay and know you’re so resilient and have so much light in you.
Thank you for sharing this Valerie. Hope things will be better for you. Your last sentence is very nice, "that's life is, just be happy and be content".. I hope all good things will happen to you ❤
It’s tough, nvr easy. It’s lonely thinking u are facing it alone. Glad to see her open up, able to talk about it, shows so much courage & bravery. Remember u are not alone, there is always ppl around, who loves unconditionally. Love well ❤
Hi Val. I love books n love arranging them in the order pleasing to my eyes too. So when I got my current place, I intentionally looked for a unit which doesn’t already have all those wall fixtures, something really plain, so I can build lavish to the ceiling type of bookshelves on 2 walls in the hall. May not be as big scale as one likes, but it was so therapeutic for me. Hope you are hang on to your dreams, get into uni, get a job which can allow your dreams to be built upon, and make yourself happy one day. Remember, the best is yet to come 🌸
Thank you for sharing Val ❤ You have made such great progress. Hang in there and may you find peace and joy in your daily life. ❤❤❤