I had gotten a panic attack one day and did breathing exercises to help. Now I'm constantly consciously breathing when I'm not keeping myself busy and it's literal hell when i lay down to sleep. Now i get anxiety attacks about breathing
Breath in your fear and breath out the hope of ever getting rid of it. This leads to acceptance and intimacy with the fear, and reverses the relationship you have with it from war to peace. It must be somatic though, not mental. Good luck and LMK how it goes
@@vitorbarradas7430 yep, that definitely helps. Sometimes it feels like I'm not getting enough air but I know I am. Once I get past the uncomfortableness i am ok
"learning how it speaks and what it has to say". I know that I am not living my life the way I should by hiding my true feelings and not speaking my truth. I've been dealing with this breathing anxiety since I moved back in with an abusive mother. I will be moving out soon. I know I need to start living my own truth.
Yes!!! It’s cognitive. A long time ago I kicked “anxiety” or as I relabeled it, USIPS UNINTENTIONAL SELF INDUCED PSYCHOSOMATIC SYMPTOMS. That’s what really scares people. It’s not about relaxing, it’s about changing how you interpret your symptoms.
Or how you interpret fear. Be aware of it, then see it as a normal natural thing, then you have a better chance to be in flow with it. And voila- no recirculating anxiety
You are 100% right. One of the worst times of my life was after reading the book called Breathe which was supposed to be the best book ever and became a nightmare because of what you said. I am wondering why are there so many people putting pressure on how to control that if it’s BS…
Wow I came to this video with a negative mindset ready to refute your claim because I felt breathing exercises worked but no, like you said all Were doing is taking in a bunch of oxygen and not dealing with the actual issue. And to someone else’s point, the breathing exercises made me super aware of my breathing when I wasn’t focused on something. I would get panic attacks thinking I can’t breathe in fully or I wasn’t getting enough air. It’s crazy I felt like you were speaking directly to me 😅. This was extremely helpful, thank you.
The funny thing is, this doesn't seem out of the box any more. Another practical tip to augment my favorite (my relationship with _______ is my relationship with myself. ) Thanks Kristen
At the beginning of my spiritual journey, I was in agony from anxiety. I would sit with my anxiety. Look directly at it. Observe it. Almost immediately after doing this, all my rumination and anxieties nearly vanished. That is to say, I can keep things transparent between me and my mind. Knowing the difference between actual things I should fear, and irrational fear.
We have a self-help book author in Finland whose main teaching is You'll get things when you give up on those things. Probably stolen from someone else as all the wisdom has been there for thousands of years, but in any case, the logic is the same. I'm a living example of that teaching. I've never been so keen on money and it lead to nice income without so much effort. But I desperately long for love in life. When I had it I was so worried of losing it that I self-sabotaged it. Accepting the thought of never being loved again is too much for me. I know I'm stuck due to that. I just can't give up hope. I have never viewed my anxiety from that perspective but I'm sure that's more doable to me. I'll certainly give it a try. 👍
@@kristenulmer1970 Perhaps I was a bit unclear there - what I meant is that your teaching is to accept that anxiety might never go away and that's what makes it go away. So giving up on trying to avoid it and giving up on constantly trying to be calmer is the answer. At least that's how I understood it. One gets what one let's go, so we don't want that to be anxiety. :) Just the opposite.
@@BonafidesFromFinland Yes that's great. Language is import though so one more little tweak, instead of 'giving up' or 'letting go of' anxiety like we've explored, you also don't want to 'give up' or 'let go of' trying to avoid it either. Simplified- just be in flow with it all, even your resistance
I don't think breathing exercises cause fear as you mentioned. They may push it in the basement but the fear likely has other root causes that are of interest to explore.
I never said breathing exercises cause anxiety. Maybe watch it again? I said breathing exercises are a great way to get through a moment. But when they are used to bypass dealing with anxiety aka fear, the end result is they become any instead to not deal with it,. That is what causes anxiety.
I find breathing exercises only help me temporarily. The best solution to anxiety relief is daily routines, structured therapy sessions either with a psychologist or another type of therapist whether it's a massage therapist or sports ologist or someone. But don't just do the breathing exercises. structure is key!
The relinquishing of hope and submitting to the pain should be a raw, ecstatic experience (i.e. like wim hoff submitting to the cold.) If it's not, likely resistance to some part of life, is still present.
I said that because fear IS a good thing. It's one of the best parts of life, without it we'd be so bored! We just have to deal with it properly is all, for it to show up that way
Hi, I'm willing to try this cause ive tried everything else. A rush of happiness and relief entered me when watching this and learning about your approach. But alas, i must know. I suffer from 'hyperawareness' where whenever i speak, breathe, anything, i cant do those things without being in my head and telling myself im going to say something stupid or not funny or im going to mess up the note (im taking singing classes.) So will i ever be able to live with the fear while also no longer suffering from those things. Its ruining my life, not the fear itself but the actual thing. Im 19 and i turn 20 in 150 days. Im trying everything i can to no longer suffer intense anxiety/ocd problems before then so i can have the best 20s ever. Thank you so much
OCD and being in your head is the result of kinking the hose on fear in your body. Read my book The Art of Fear to learn more, then sign up for my monthly support calls from there. www.kristenulmer.com/whats-next-support-calls-membership/ This is completely fixable. You just have to do the opposite of what you've been doing, is all. Starting a new habit at age 19 will be easier for you than someone who older. We got this ok? I'm here to help
@@kristenulmer1970 how lomg will it take to fix? I literally dont have the money for the book or group rn, i quit my job a few months ago for college and wont be able to afford anything until i get a new job. But i still wanna implement what the free resources say.
A day for some, months for others. Some people never make the shift though. If you have not enough money to buy my book then just keep looking at stuff from me online- over 140 podcasts. Happy hunting for answers and a practice. xo
i have Anxiety for 6 months feeling like you are going to stop breathing and over breathing every day it is really bad in the day time but not at night why is this
I see you teach that fear is neither good nor bad, kinda Taoism and I like how you present it. However, here you are saying that breathing exercises are contra productive, how did you end up doing breathing exercises? changing the though process of it, it is still a breathing exercise. how many times did you take a deep breath before starting a dangerous ski slope?
I teach that fear is only good. And, if I did take a breath it was to give energy and empowerment to fear. This video was about what we normally do re. breathing exercises and fear, which is a bad idea for the reasons I explained. I am a big fan of breathing haha, just not to get rid of fear
I started trembling from anxiety about 2 years ago. It’s exhausting and paralyzing. I have found that an hour or more of a walk daily stops the cortisol and adrenaline. But when I skip a day the breathing and breath holds have helped. So I should stop the breathing exercises? Does that mean yoga and qigong shouldn’t be an outlet for stress and anxiety? They are both use breathing as a tool.
By all means do yoga and qigong. But contrary to how they are taught, can you use them instead to connect with and feel your anxiety (aka fear) with the key being, you do this not as a way to get rid of them. To make sure you're on point see them as a person who lives in your body who is upset. Treat them with love and feel them. Period. Nothing more, even if the instructors suggests otherwise. That kind of attention to your fear makes it feel better, and because they've in your body thus you also feel better.
Hi, OCD is undealt with fear stuck in your body, showing up re-directed as a phobia of sorts. Get back in flow with your fear the OCD goes away. www.kristenulmer.com for more info
Learn how to deal with your emotion (fear) by turning toward it and feeling it. Treat it like a good parent would with a child who is upset and needs your attention. Emotions (fear) want to be felt, so stop trying to get rid of it, and feel it, that'll solve the problem. www.kristenulmer.com for more info
So, to clarify the second part and state it differently. You are getting comfortable with forever being afraid of your mom dying, forever being afraid of not being good enough, and forever being afraid of your neck hurting? Is that accurate? Thanks! :-)
Forever is a funny word. Nothing is forever. Maybe: just getting comfortable with being afraid mom will die, not being good enough etc. Settling into those fears. In doing so they may or may not ever leave, but will at least calm down because you are sitting calmly with them. Not resisting them
See anxiety (aka fearr) as an upset child that is demanding your attention. Connect with it in your body without an agenda and learn how to feel it. Then, much like a child would as well, it calls right down. If you need help with this my web site is www.kristenulmer.com
It sounds great as a solution but I'm not feeling good about it as the fear is so strong for me I live with deep tension fighting it and If I try to accept I get really overwhelmed and get into painful symptoms in my body and panic.... I feel caught and end up running into my head and medication. However it's not working and I believe the fear came from my past childhood traumas but despite counseling for the past 4 years I'm still stuck in figh5 or flight and freeze. I can't convince myself it's safe to feel fear so how could I apply your method even if I tried.??
What if the fear is caused from withdrawal off of prescribed benzodiazepines? I’m in fight or flight constantly, but it’s benzo induced. Will your method still apply?
Yes, it'll work. Fear is fear no matter its source. Make sure you do the method NOT to get rid of the anxiety though, relinquish all goals in order for it to "work." (he just caught my missing word, oops, that must have been confusing. sorry about that. I added the word so please re-read?)
My anxiety is so bad I forgot what normal breathing feels like lol Are you supposed to feel your breath in chest or stomach because I can't feel a breath in my chest
It doesn't matter where you feel your breath, wherever works. If your anxiety is really bad, breathe in acceptance to the place where it exists and breathe out the hope of getting rid of that anxiety and see what happens.
@@annaberg1200 www.kristenulmer.com will show you options. If you're ready this work I offer resolves your anxiety, it always does. It's very different than anything out there. Let me know what option works best for you by sending me an email from my web site and let's get to work.
@@SimsMoyal You started it. You tried to choke it to death. Now it is doing the same, retailiang back at you. If you caused this, you also have the power to end that war. Get to work on that. I can help if you want.
@@kristenulmer1970 i will be happy for any help - it ruined so many events that otherwise would be memorable For example I couldn’t find my fav clothes i wanted to wear for my birthday party and got such a jolt of anxiety that someone broke into my apartment and stole things otherwise how come they are not to be found anywhere? I ruined my entire birthday party 😭 i was blocked out from the world by it The next day i found out that my jackass brother took them for his date and failed to mention it
@@SimsMoyal It starts by no longer blaming it (fear), but blaming yourself for treating it so poorly. You've left fear no choice but to retaliate. I can help yes but note I'm expensive (but worth it). www.kristenulmer.com/private-sessions-with-kristen/. Hope to work with you soon. This is 100% reversible. In a very short period of time. xo
Don’t listen to this. Anxiety means …. LET IT OUT “ in Hebrew. Which is older language then what this woman is speaking. If you don’t let it out You feel the consequences…. Pain, worry, hurt. So yeah I’ll say it one more time This woman gets paid So she wants your views She wants your attention It’s called feeding you 90% of truth to make you come back. Thank me later.
I swear I love doing Wim hof breathing so much. But it makes me so calm that it turns to complacency. Which leads to anxiety or procrastination. I can't beat this anxiety and fear for nothing. But being calm hasn't helped it all.
I had gotten a panic attack one day and did breathing exercises to help. Now I'm constantly consciously breathing when I'm not keeping myself busy and it's literal hell when i lay down to sleep. Now i get anxiety attacks about breathing
Breath in your fear and breath out the hope of ever getting rid of it. This leads to acceptance and intimacy with the fear, and reverses the relationship you have with it from war to peace. It must be somatic though, not mental. Good luck and LMK how it goes
@@kristenulmer1970 thank you. Will give it a shot tonight
Breathing exercises are alas, a temporary solution that is alas, Spiritual Bypassing. Which leads to greater anxiety
You should breathe light and soft
@@vitorbarradas7430 yep, that definitely helps. Sometimes it feels like I'm not getting enough air but I know I am. Once I get past the uncomfortableness i am ok
I have never felt so understood throughout my whole journey with anxiety
Happy to hear it resonated with you.
"learning how it speaks and what it has to say". I know that I am not living my life the way I should by hiding my true feelings and not speaking my truth. I've been dealing with this breathing anxiety since I moved back in with an abusive mother. I will be moving out soon. I know I need to start living my own truth.
Kristin, you are doing a great job!
Yes!!! It’s cognitive. A long time ago I kicked “anxiety” or as I relabeled it, USIPS UNINTENTIONAL SELF INDUCED PSYCHOSOMATIC SYMPTOMS. That’s what really scares people. It’s not about relaxing, it’s about changing how you interpret your symptoms.
Or how you interpret fear. Be aware of it, then see it as a normal natural thing, then you have a better chance to be in flow with it. And voila- no recirculating anxiety
You are 100% right. One of the worst times of my life was after reading the book called Breathe which was supposed to be the best book ever and became a nightmare because of what you said. I am wondering why are there so many people putting pressure on how to control that if it’s BS…
Thank you for your videos. They are really helping me understand my fear and anxiety and how to approach it differently.
Wow I came to this video with a negative mindset ready to refute your claim because I felt breathing exercises worked but no, like you said all Were doing is taking in a bunch of oxygen and not dealing with the actual issue. And to someone else’s point, the breathing exercises made me super aware of my breathing when I wasn’t focused on something. I would get panic attacks thinking I can’t breathe in fully or I wasn’t getting enough air.
It’s crazy I felt like you were speaking directly to me 😅. This was extremely helpful, thank you.
The funny thing is, this doesn't seem out of the box any more. Another practical tip to augment my favorite (my relationship with _______ is my relationship with myself. ) Thanks Kristen
Ki IHOP
At the beginning of my spiritual journey, I was in agony from anxiety. I would sit with my anxiety. Look directly at it. Observe it. Almost immediately after doing this, all my rumination and anxieties nearly vanished. That is to say, I can keep things transparent between me and my mind. Knowing the difference between actual things I should fear, and irrational fear.
wonderful explanation, thank you so much
So basically, don't push the fear away or try to push it aside. Face it head on
Close, face it, and then give it some love.
We have a self-help book author in Finland whose main teaching is You'll get things when you give up on those things. Probably stolen from someone else as all the wisdom has been there for thousands of years, but in any case, the logic is the same.
I'm a living example of that teaching. I've never been so keen on money and it lead to nice income without so much effort. But I desperately long for love in life. When I had it I was so worried of losing it that I self-sabotaged it.
Accepting the thought of never being loved again is too much for me. I know I'm stuck due to that. I just can't give up hope.
I have never viewed my anxiety from that perspective but I'm sure that's more doable to me. I'll certainly give it a try. 👍
Reminder: This is not about giving up anxiety this is about having intimacy with it, which is different. Good luck with your journey!
@@kristenulmer1970 Perhaps I was a bit unclear there - what I meant is that your teaching is to accept that anxiety might never go away and that's what makes it go away. So giving up on trying to avoid it and giving up on constantly trying to be calmer is the answer. At least that's how I understood it.
One gets what one let's go, so we don't want that to be anxiety. :) Just the opposite.
@@BonafidesFromFinland Yes that's great. Language is import though so one more little tweak, instead of 'giving up' or 'letting go of' anxiety like we've explored, you also don't want to 'give up' or 'let go of' trying to avoid it either. Simplified- just be in flow with it all, even your resistance
Thank you
I don't think breathing exercises cause fear as you mentioned. They may push it in the basement but the fear likely has other root causes that are of interest to explore.
I never said breathing exercises cause anxiety. Maybe watch it again? I said breathing exercises are a great way to get through a moment. But when they are used to bypass dealing with anxiety aka fear, the end result is they become any instead to not deal with it,. That is what causes anxiety.
Hello!
Thank you very much!
I find breathing exercises only help me temporarily. The best solution to anxiety relief is daily routines, structured therapy sessions either with a psychologist or another type of therapist whether it's a massage therapist or sports ologist or someone. But don't just do the breathing exercises. structure is key!
True. Problems need to be addressed or solved to reduce high levels of stress.
What to do when letting go of the hope of health ever improving makes it hard to get out of bed in the morning and carry on, I wonder?
The relinquishing of hope and submitting to the pain should be a raw, ecstatic experience (i.e. like wim hoff submitting to the cold.) If it's not, likely resistance to some part of life, is still present.
Also I was wondering why you say fear is a good thing, as opposed to fear being neither good nor bad?
I said that because fear IS a good thing. It's one of the best parts of life, without it we'd be so bored! We just have to deal with it properly is all, for it to show up that way
Hi, I'm willing to try this cause ive tried everything else. A rush of happiness and relief entered me when watching this and learning about your approach. But alas, i must know. I suffer from 'hyperawareness' where whenever i speak, breathe, anything, i cant do those things without being in my head and telling myself im going to say something stupid or not funny or im going to mess up the note (im taking singing classes.) So will i ever be able to live with the fear while also no longer suffering from those things. Its ruining my life, not the fear itself but the actual thing. Im 19 and i turn 20 in 150 days. Im trying everything i can to no longer suffer intense anxiety/ocd problems before then so i can have the best 20s ever. Thank you so much
OCD and being in your head is the result of kinking the hose on fear in your body. Read my book The Art of Fear to learn more, then sign up for my monthly support calls from there. www.kristenulmer.com/whats-next-support-calls-membership/
This is completely fixable. You just have to do the opposite of what you've been doing, is all. Starting a new habit at age 19 will be easier for you than someone who older. We got this ok? I'm here to help
@@kristenulmer1970 how lomg will it take to fix? I literally dont have the money for the book or group rn, i quit my job a few months ago for college and wont be able to afford anything until i get a new job. But i still wanna implement what the free resources say.
A day for some, months for others. Some people never make the shift though. If you have not enough money to buy my book then just keep looking at stuff from me online- over 140 podcasts. Happy hunting for answers and a practice. xo
i have Anxiety for 6 months feeling like you are going to stop breathing and over breathing every day it is really bad in the day time but not at night why is this
I see you teach that fear is neither good nor bad, kinda Taoism and I like how you present it. However, here you are saying that breathing exercises are contra productive, how did you end up doing breathing exercises? changing the though process of it, it is still a breathing exercise. how many times did you take a deep breath before starting a dangerous ski slope?
I teach that fear is only good. And, if I did take a breath it was to give energy and empowerment to fear. This video was about what we normally do re. breathing exercises and fear, which is a bad idea for the reasons I explained. I am a big fan of breathing haha, just not to get rid of fear
You are so beautiful personality ❤❤
I started trembling from anxiety about 2 years ago. It’s exhausting and paralyzing. I have found that an hour or more of a walk daily stops the cortisol and adrenaline. But when I skip a day the breathing and breath holds have helped. So I should stop the breathing exercises?
Does that mean yoga and qigong shouldn’t be an outlet for stress and anxiety? They are both use breathing as a tool.
By all means do yoga and qigong. But contrary to how they are taught, can you use them instead to connect with and feel your anxiety (aka fear) with the key being, you do this not as a way to get rid of them. To make sure you're on point see them as a person who lives in your body who is upset. Treat them with love and feel them. Period. Nothing more, even if the instructors suggests otherwise. That kind of attention to your fear makes it feel better, and because they've in your body thus you also feel better.
Would you recommend this for OCD?
Hi, OCD is undealt with fear stuck in your body, showing up re-directed as a phobia of sorts. Get back in flow with your fear the OCD goes away. www.kristenulmer.com for more info
What should I do if I can’t get a full breath in and can’t take deep breathes prob panicking
Learn how to deal with your emotion (fear) by turning toward it and feeling it. Treat it like a good parent would with a child who is upset and needs your attention. Emotions (fear) want to be felt, so stop trying to get rid of it, and feel it, that'll solve the problem. www.kristenulmer.com for more info
So, to clarify the second part and state it differently. You are getting comfortable with forever being afraid of your mom dying, forever being afraid of not being good enough, and forever being afraid of your neck hurting? Is that accurate? Thanks! :-)
Forever is a funny word. Nothing is forever. Maybe: just getting comfortable with being afraid mom will die, not being good enough etc. Settling into those fears. In doing so they may or may not ever leave, but will at least calm down because you are sitting calmly with them. Not resisting them
sound nuts... not working
How can that make anxiety go away by doing what you said on this video
See anxiety (aka fearr) as an upset child that is demanding your attention. Connect with it in your body without an agenda and learn how to feel it. Then, much like a child would as well, it calls right down. If you need help with this my web site is www.kristenulmer.com
So basically acceptance.
That’s a step in the right direction, but next comes feeling your fear, leading to intimacy with fear being the goal and highest level.
You are wrong!! breathing is good to calm panic and anxiety.
Of course it is, science has proven that, but it has a consquence to it which you can learn about if you watch the video. xo
It sounds great as a solution but I'm not feeling good about it as the fear is so strong for me I live with deep tension fighting it and If I try to accept I get really overwhelmed and get into painful symptoms in my body and panic.... I feel caught and end up running into my head and medication. However it's not working and I believe the fear came from my past childhood traumas but despite counseling for the past 4 years I'm still stuck in figh5 or flight and freeze. I can't convince myself it's safe to feel fear so how could I apply your method even if I tried.??
What if the fear is caused from withdrawal off of prescribed benzodiazepines? I’m
in fight or flight constantly, but it’s benzo induced. Will your method still apply?
Yes, it'll work. Fear is fear no matter its source. Make sure you do the method NOT to get rid of the anxiety though, relinquish all goals in order for it to "work." (he just caught my missing word, oops, that must have been confusing. sorry about that. I added the word so please re-read?)
My anxiety is so bad I forgot what normal breathing feels like lol
Are you supposed to feel your breath in chest or stomach because I can't feel a breath in my chest
It doesn't matter where you feel your breath, wherever works. If your anxiety is really bad, breathe in acceptance to the place where it exists and breathe out the hope of getting rid of that anxiety and see what happens.
@@kristenulmer1970 you are so awesome thanks
Why accept the negative? It feels backwards.. Help!
The negative is firmly part of life, so what other choice do you have?
reach out if you need help
@@kristenulmer1970 The doctors don't help me. I can't take medication
@@annaberg1200 www.kristenulmer.com will show you options. If you're ready this work I offer resolves your anxiety, it always does. It's very different than anything out there. Let me know what option works best for you by sending me an email from my web site and let's get to work.
@@kristenulmer1970 I can't take it anymore..
Stop breathing excersises they aren't helping. Oh here 3 breathing exercises. 😂
Silly rabbit, the title does not say stop doing breathing exercises, it says stop trying to breathe away anxiety.
oh good ..... i got a panic attack
Resistance to fear is what causes a panic attack. Intimacy with fear is what ends them, Try again
@@kristenulmer1970 how can you get intimate with the feeling you chocking to death?
@@SimsMoyal You started it. You tried to choke it to death. Now it is doing the same, retailiang back at you. If you caused this, you also have the power to end that war. Get to work on that. I can help if you want.
@@kristenulmer1970 i will be happy for any help - it ruined so many events that otherwise would be memorable
For example I couldn’t find my fav clothes i wanted to wear for my birthday party and got such a jolt of anxiety that someone broke into my apartment and stole things otherwise how come they are not to be found anywhere?
I ruined my entire birthday party 😭 i was blocked out from the world by it
The next day i found out that my jackass brother took them for his date and failed to mention it
@@SimsMoyal It starts by no longer blaming it (fear), but blaming yourself for treating it so poorly. You've left fear no choice but to retaliate. I can help yes but note I'm expensive (but worth it). www.kristenulmer.com/private-sessions-with-kristen/. Hope to work with you soon. This is 100% reversible. In a very short period of time. xo
Bollocks!
Breathing away anxiety is disrespectful to fear. Better to be friends with it and love on it, if you want it to act in a reasonable manner
Don’t listen to this.
Anxiety means …. LET IT OUT “ in Hebrew. Which is older language then what this woman is speaking.
If you don’t let it out
You feel the consequences….
Pain, worry, hurt.
So yeah I’ll say it one more time
This woman gets paid
So she wants your views
She wants your attention
It’s called feeding you 90% of truth to make you come back.
Thank me later.
I don't get paid for views. And, we're saying the same thing. Make sure you watch the video next time before commenting?
I swear I love doing Wim hof breathing so much. But it makes me so calm that it turns to complacency. Which leads to anxiety or procrastination. I can't beat this anxiety and fear for nothing. But being calm hasn't helped it all.
Replacing anxiety with calm is alas, spiritual bypassing
Holy wow this is exactly how I feel as well. Being too calm gives me anxiety
@@dagrizzla6252I swear. It's so dam confusing. Lol.
@@dagrizzla6252haha, not sure what you're saying or if you're perhaps being sarcastic, but that is not the message from this video. maybe re-watch?