Cultivating Collaboration: Don't Be So Defensive! | Jim Tamm | TEDxSantaCruz

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  • Опубликовано: 24 дек 2024

Комментарии • 92

  • @jadenromero5738
    @jadenromero5738 Год назад +27

    “You can’t compete externally if you can’t collaborate internally”. That is extremely helpful for encouraging teamwork! I love it!

  • @DavidM-ur9fc
    @DavidM-ur9fc 9 лет назад +7

    As a retired judge and one of the preeminent mediators in the U.S., Jim Tamm took his message about the power of radical collaboration to the world years ago, and he has gained quite a following since then. I had the privilege of seeing him speak at the TEDx Santa Cruz, and his presentation was powerful and polished. Jim and his group have transformed a huge number of organizations around the world, from government entities to Fortune 100 companies, and after seeing him speak, I can understand why his charisma and intelligence have made him a leader in the space of collaborative thinking.

    • @manictiger
      @manictiger 6 лет назад

      It's a little ironic, since our justice system is practically built to make people more defensive and hostile. Nothing makes a poor person (the vast majority of the population) feel more defensive and angry than getting extra layers of taxes in the form of: fines, tickets, fees and collection notices.
      Not slighting his character; just pointing out an irony.

  • @MarjorieOld-p3j
    @MarjorieOld-p3j Год назад +7

    I think it's important to note that chickens don't act like this when they have plenty of space to live. It happens when they are crushed together in small spaces where they have to compete. I think that's a lesson humans can learn too!

  • @sirvancealot
    @sirvancealot 9 лет назад +117

    I've known this man for more than forty years. He knows what it takes to deal effectively with conflict. He has conducted workshops on collaboration around the world. He is well worth your time. As we get better at collaborating with each other, our lives get easier and the world will become a better place for all of us to live.

  • @eh4235
    @eh4235 5 лет назад +37

    I have suffered from defensiveness since I was little. I had felt like a victim most of time as a child , coming from an unhealthy family environment. I am at a point in my life where my future career is threatened because of that and been fired other times because of it as the only reason not because of my lack of competence or production. This video says it all!! It's hard to catch yourself doing it when it's a behavior practiced many times. It's all worth to understand it, and make the change to collaboration.

    • @bluepointcat
      @bluepointcat 5 лет назад +2

      Something similar happened to me. I´d almost cry watching this video.

  • @sanketpande
    @sanketpande 4 года назад +12

    The fears that are referred to, I call them "insecurities". and with both self as well as with others, knowing the insecurities (and of course manifestations of these) wins half the battle in dealing with conflicts, disagreements and promoting collaboration. Great talk.

  • @MaartenPieters1
    @MaartenPieters1 9 лет назад +2

    The work of Jim on Radical Collaboration helped me tremendously with building trustful relations with and between civilians, local politicians, civil servants and entrepreneurs in the municipality of Oisterwijk (the Netherlands). Radical Collaboration skills are a must for everbody who wants to practice servant leadership.

  • @gizzy2552
    @gizzy2552 9 лет назад +10

    Jim - this is amazing! Your Radical Collaboration work invites a fail-forward approach; a recovery model and suggests starting over again when you notice you’re defensive. An even more amazing point you make: is feeling confident in knowing once people (teachers and chickens!) get to flourish in green zone systems, they are then impacting others around them profoundly. One, to one, to one, to many - beautiful long lasting transformation in our world. Thanks for the great talk. Hope you’re well, Noelle O.

    • @BobbyDsouzamotivationalspeaker
      @BobbyDsouzamotivationalspeaker 6 лет назад

      loved ur thoughts too ,keep inspring

    • @jordanjasper2756
      @jordanjasper2756 6 лет назад

      The contrast between the red zones and green zones is a fascinating observation, although I wonder if it neglects to account for the obviously drastic differences between chickens and people; there also seem to be some very obvious blind spots when drawing such conclusions.

  • @leighd6409
    @leighd6409 4 года назад +30

    Self-awareness is an essential tool unfortunately, many dont have it. Great talk!

    • @sherricannon9407
      @sherricannon9407 3 года назад

      Beautifully and wisely taught. Thank you🙏

  • @swapnil5282
    @swapnil5282 8 лет назад +3

    Jim .. this is THE thing..I have become a big fan of you.. world really needs collaborative skills than compitive skills.. thank you so much..10/10.

  • @coachmirianndyanabokaamate4162
    @coachmirianndyanabokaamate4162 4 года назад +5

    I just cannot stop smiling! I just breathed into that blank paper and I feel happier and lighter 🦋

  • @Zekeeboy14
    @Zekeeboy14 7 лет назад +19

    when i connected with that paper .... i was truly focused ... so focused that when he crumbled that paper up... i felt it... it was a quick shock to my body... ifelt it ...it startled me... i was not expecting that......wow gud ted talks

  • @erockk09
    @erockk09 6 лет назад +22

    Love this. Look internally to your fears why you are defensive with other people.

  • @BigMrG
    @BigMrG 6 лет назад +3

    My work is becoming a red zone and its so hard to become green like before. people are thinking about quitting because they hate the hours and the place itself but, they don't see the job they are going to loose.

  • @princessfly11
    @princessfly11 4 года назад +15

    “Our defensiveness helps us hide our fear from ourself.”
    Whoah

  • @j.a.6866
    @j.a.6866 2 года назад

    Thank You Tube Algo for this recommendation!! I appreciate the collaboration.

  • @JOALKR11
    @JOALKR11 6 лет назад +13

    When he snatched the paper I died. Great talk.

  • @etiennebasse311
    @etiennebasse311 9 лет назад +5

    I can testify it works as well for the people I train with Radical Collaboration as for myself.
    It is highly effective.

  • @vasentia
    @vasentia 4 года назад +43

    "A list of common signs of defensiveness"
    Me: Oh nice, they are talking about me.

  • @agnestaupelyte1096
    @agnestaupelyte1096 3 года назад +4

    Thank you very much for this great speech. It so useful to hear not only in terms of collaboration but also for self-discovery and self-mastery as well.

  • @nattily0829
    @nattily0829 5 лет назад +9

    Having the last word, oh yes.. I do get defensive a lot. Thanku so much, I will surely try these tactics..

  • @bludog4657
    @bludog4657 4 года назад

    Thank you TEDx and thank you Mr. Tamm

  • @johnquixote901
    @johnquixote901 4 года назад

    we need this now more than ever

  • @patienceawopegba5522
    @patienceawopegba5522 3 года назад

    Collaboration leads to higher levels of productivity overall

  • @yahalife
    @yahalife 3 года назад +2

    What a great talk! Thanks TEDx

  • @andersmagnusson1064
    @andersmagnusson1064 Год назад

    I agree that defensiveness is problem, probably I do that every day. However on key thing that at I at least miss in this presentation is that you share and/or understand each other problems, because if you are going to solve a "problem" than you at least need to share that. But perhaps that is also blocked defensiveness.

  • @tonysardjono2905
    @tonysardjono2905 2 года назад

    Very inspring Talk. Love from Indonesia

  • @tomaschupek8002
    @tomaschupek8002 5 лет назад +3

    This is perfectly fitting to my CBT. Thanks

  • @edaly1266
    @edaly1266 9 лет назад +3

    Great job Jim! Love to see your work here!

  • @polyglotornot
    @polyglotornot 4 месяца назад

    Love this. So true

  • @clairebamboo5089
    @clairebamboo5089 8 лет назад +1

    Thanks Tim, i was so glad to meet you in China and learned from you about how to collaborating with everyone and also knowing ourselves through your workshop.

  • @livelifeforaliving
    @livelifeforaliving 7 лет назад +2

    Love love LOVE this.

  • @mahachy6069
    @mahachy6069 4 года назад

    I FREAKIN LOVE THIS

  • @stephengoh5456
    @stephengoh5456 3 года назад

    Fantastic! Love it. Thank you.

  • @bulentyenereksi
    @bulentyenereksi 4 года назад +1

    Such a great talk... thanks a lot. It felt me so excited that I sometimes found myself holding my breath when I was watching it...

  • @ubseggie
    @ubseggie 2 года назад

    Wow this was amazing

  • @heibabi
    @heibabi 3 года назад

    That was very useful. Thankyou

  • @josephsielskisr3742
    @josephsielskisr3742 3 года назад

    Many times I feel like people don't understand what I am going through

  • @svevuccia82
    @svevuccia82 3 года назад

    fun and absolutely inspiring. thanks!

  • @dianaherron8735
    @dianaherron8735 2 года назад

    He should be training the government legislators how to collaborate so that we can get the business of governing our country moving forward.

  • @Dr.NoorMoussawi
    @Dr.NoorMoussawi 7 лет назад +2

    Beautiful words! Such a respected man. Thank you so much for sharing this Ted Talk. Very useful and applicable and indeed the root of mannnnny problems. Refreshing ideas and solution strategies!
    Dr. Noor Moussawi

  • @CelticTouchHS
    @CelticTouchHS 3 года назад

    Brilliant thank you.

  • @itsdevgarg
    @itsdevgarg 3 года назад

    So lovely & helpful

  • @AngelOne11
    @AngelOne11 6 лет назад +12

    The saddest thing s that we all know that LOGICALLY, however, the frontal lobe shuts down when one is EMOTIONAL. It is hard to say I am going to do things in a logical way when emotions already hijacked the brain (frontal lobe). For years I have been trying to take a breath before I react, it hasn't worked for me since I can't THINK when I am on overdrive with emotions.

    • @tamvu2229
      @tamvu2229 Год назад +1

      The warning signal action step is a proactive step he's asking you to practice. That's the key word practice. Just like coping skills and such bring able to pick up on situations earlier through awareness helps you start these things before you hit the shut off part.

    • @OhCanadian
      @OhCanadian 5 месяцев назад

      Maybe try to practice by simulation scenarios?

  • @Mkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkkmkm
    @Mkmkmkmkmkmkmkmkkmkm 3 года назад

    i humbly say, i don’t think it’s wrong to have the last word, especially if you know something is objectively correct (say, a research study) and you don’t want the opposition to keep saying false information. BUT what’s not okay, is if you respond right away in defense without even hearing openly what is to be said, just to deflect accountability, project guilt or just to say something to get their word in.
    I’m a little confused why there’s a depicted blanket idea that defense is synonymous with getting defensive. When you’re having a conversation, and you’re responding with an opposing view, this is your defense, but does it mean that the approach is automatically defensive? No. the issue is when you broke combative in your defense. It’s also an issue if you’re being questioned for your something you do and you don’t take acknowledgement if indeed there is own. The problem now becomes that is discerning whether or not you really did do something wrong or if you were misperceived. but learning to be self aware and being accountable for mistakes after hearing the other party openly is the key. Learning to actually listen without getting defensive to see if you’re wrong or if you aren’t.
    For example, i’ve learned hard to lower my pride. I have learned to humbly apologize and say yes if someone points something out that is not right or not portraying correctly that i say. I have no problem in apologizing. But if someone tells me the sky is green when it’s not, i won’t take a breath and just accept it. i won’t raise my voice or get defensive, but i won’t be okay that they don’t understand why it’s not green 😂

  • @halinarusiecka8296
    @halinarusiecka8296 5 лет назад

    Great content and form of communication. Thank you

  • @keiths1864
    @keiths1864 6 лет назад

    I wish he could address Congress in DC !!!

  • @mohammedimohammed4294
    @mohammedimohammed4294 5 лет назад +1

    Simply excellent

  • @SanjayCPatel
    @SanjayCPatel 7 лет назад +1

    In the long term, it's perhaps better to hire amicable people as a priority criteria rather than so called high performers

  • @helenkim6152
    @helenkim6152 6 лет назад

    Thank you, it gave me great insights. I loved it so much

  • @samiazaman5240
    @samiazaman5240 5 лет назад

    What if I know for sure that I get defensive but I have no "action to take" in many situations- for example in early stages of learning or sharing any kind of knowledge- when you're in a classrooom setting, maybe- how can I just leave in the middle to take a walk or go quiet in the middle of a discussion?

    • @KaryssaSmithart
      @KaryssaSmithart 5 лет назад

      There are some very small actions you can take in any environment,
      Take a deep breath, try to relax your muscles, and listen from the other person's point of view. I'm super defensive, and I often use these methods to either keep calm, or to just let go of the negativity I'm feeling. Hope this helps!

  • @HTMBombs
    @HTMBombs 7 лет назад +1

    Well there is another very important reason for defensiveness namely existence. For many of us fear that drives us is fear of no income, inability to provide for our family. Frankly for others mentioned I don't really care much about.

  • @FollowMagicBrad
    @FollowMagicBrad 3 года назад

    I think collaboration is misunderstood but is VERY necessary. ✨MagicBrad✨

  • @FirstReviewer
    @FirstReviewer 6 лет назад

    So much to learn, so well Taught! FR

  • @heronepali321
    @heronepali321 Год назад

    Reminds me of competition between US and China.

  • @coachingdistincionesenacci7049
    @coachingdistincionesenacci7049 4 года назад +1

    Lo necesito en español

  • @coachingdistincionesenacci7049
    @coachingdistincionesenacci7049 4 года назад

    Ni los aún títulos están en español

  • @givemeyourlove143
    @givemeyourlove143 4 года назад

    Thank you 🙏🏻 This is really helpful. It makes me know more about myself. I’ll try - 11:45 , 13:12 - 👍

  • @dilnozaalimardonova6677
    @dilnozaalimardonova6677 10 месяцев назад

    Super

  • @pictures1978
    @pictures1978 Год назад

    I do not know how to. I'm more goal oriented. Does not mean I'm against it.

  • @doctorbea
    @doctorbea 6 лет назад

    Bravo!

  • @jessesinghcga5699
    @jessesinghcga5699 2 года назад +1

    Being Human first is the key to happiness and well being. Unfortunately it is not taught in modern management. The modern day norm that "Competition is required to be progressive and productive" is killing the human inside all of the us. Going to Sunday Church, Temple or other religious places is not making us human.

  • @britinaysouth9591
    @britinaysouth9591 8 месяцев назад

    ‘Our defensiveness helps us hide our fears from ourselves’… not whip cream on dog poop 💩 😂

  • @Storykate
    @Storykate Год назад

    withdrawing into deadly silence and catastrophizing everything - haha

  • @RuggedCoyote69
    @RuggedCoyote69 6 лет назад +4

    Honestly, Republic Commando deserves a remaster

  •  9 лет назад +1

    Nice!

  • @techbangla9919
    @techbangla9919 4 года назад

    nice video

  • @Honey-vq9dl
    @Honey-vq9dl 4 года назад

    Playing poor me
    Wanting to be right
    Flooring with information to prove a point
    Yeah those are the stages i go through 🤦‍♀️
    Now its all make sense
    Any tips of action steps pls,?

  • @townfool4682
    @townfool4682 4 месяца назад

    i could've done without seeing the pictures of those chickens...

  • @brokenrulerlabs
    @brokenrulerlabs 3 года назад +1

    I was put off by the animal cruelty lead in, and I'm a chicken farmer... who is this guy

  • @khanjunaid237
    @khanjunaid237 7 лет назад +1

    Collab karoge

  • @susangreenfield4847
    @susangreenfield4847 4 года назад

    😎

  • @VinnyCarwash
    @VinnyCarwash 4 года назад

    who here for communications class lole

  • @libdottie
    @libdottie 4 года назад +1

    Lack of transcript makes this inaccessible.

  • @victoria-6672
    @victoria-6672 5 лет назад

    Did you just call me an aggressive animal your .

  • @Mark-kh9bx
    @Mark-kh9bx 6 лет назад

    Anyone else feel like the fact that he's comparing public school teachers to inhumanely caged hens is a sad analogy? :\

  • @fyversixx1562
    @fyversixx1562 4 года назад

    "Picture yourself as this piece of soft, white, toilet paper....let you essence flow into it. Squeeze that charmin! Now watch what I am going to do with this toilet paper, it will shock and amaze you!"...Baaa....Baaaa...Baaaa....be a good sheeple, don't defend yourself, go along with the herd...The hive mind is good.....individual thinking bad....take your pills, put on your non-binary attire...

    • @fyversixx1562
      @fyversixx1562 4 года назад

      I sat in my Great Uncle's Lap when I was five. He lost his leg at Normandy. He and a bunch of other young men had to go fix things because the German people (who he was descended from) had went along with whatever the "authority" did, until it got out of hand. How did they fix it? They killed people and broke things. They didn't talk about chickens and picturing yourself as white paper. BE ACCOUNTABLE AND DO THE RIGHT THING. If you are wrong apologize and don't argue. BUT STAND UP IF YOU ARE RIGHT