Thank you all. I read all the comments and they help more than you know. I will reply soon Edit: there are lots and lots of very in depth and heartfelt comments and I don’t know whether I’ll be able to keep up. But it’s very moving having people care and take time in an effort to help. Thank you all.
You are a rockstar Dom! No advice here, just want you to know that you put a smile on SO MANY people's faces and make them happy! My maternal grandma passed away last year and I was having an existential crises and wondering what the point is at 32 too.. then my mother, keeping her own pain aside, explained, there IS a point. We're all going through bullshit in this world.. the point is to help those around us get throygg theirs by making them smile. YOU make us smile! You help us get through our day to day crap. I look forward to you appearing on the Sloppy Joes every time! And every time you appear, you make me smile! You add so much to our day. So much to my day! I recently moved countries, last year, and miss my family, but needed a fresh start. Your pods help me feel more positive, by making me smile. Maybe that is your purpose. Helping others get through. That is NOT wasting time or your life! Not everyone makes a difference in the manner you do! Strength, love, and light to you my friend ❤️
With the alcohol removed it has uncovered what was there, alcohol in some sense helped cope albeit a maladaptive coping mechanism. Keep going buddy, you’ll make it through this and come out the other side fine.
I am so sorry. Even if I had any advice, I don't think I would say anything anyway because I suffer with depression and though people mean well when they suggest things, it just gets hard when you already know those aren't the answers. Yeah it distracts us but what about the actual issue? The alone feeling, the sad feeling, the empty feeling, the fear, the anxiety, the negative thoughts....the depression.... And when people say "just be happy." Like again, thank you for your suggestion but depression isn't a choice. I start to feel more and more alone when people haven't a clue what it's actually like. Anyway dude, I have nothing to say except the cliche, that I hope one day that sh*tty feeling/s can just bugger off! I wish this for everyone suffering. You seem like a lovely man and I truly wish the best for you. I cried when you cried. :( I'm just so sorry. I wish I had the answer but I don't even know how to fix my own. I wish I could hug you. And please never apologise for crying. *big hugs*
You are not wasting time. That is a false concept we are born with as humans. You are a powerful being of light and it causes you pain to not feel the power of that. Depression, I feel is a tool to seeing beyond this illusion we call life. I find that if I think of this as a movie or a play and I am playing a role, it helps me see through. I feel depression at time, I think we all do. It is nothing to be ashamed of. Blessings and great love to you. You are a beautiful being. My intention is for you to Feel that deep inside. Know that I am constantly telling myself the same. Also crying is a form of letting go of toxic thoughts, ideas and showing you are beautifully human. Love and Light sir!
It’s hard to quantify joy, I find enjoying the simple things helps. Since you started on SJ I can’t tell you how much I’ve belly laughed at your storytelling Dom. You add joy to my week, and we dont even know each other. They say find work in something you enjoy in life and you’ll never work a day in your life. Perhaps there something in that. We love you man, we’re with you.
Massive respect for posting this Dom. Your feelings are always valid, even the negative ones. Take it one day at a time and keep expressing yourself. I read a quote once, can't remember who it was but they said: "If you're going through hell, for fuck's sake keep going!"
Well done bro. You have the courage to share your problems and thoughts. There is absolutely nothing wrong in crying and venting out your negative thoughts. It is good for you in the longer run. We all are with you. I have noticed that many people in the comments section give very positive and good remarks. They are worth reading. Thumbs up to you.
Hope this helps: Ive been through my sadness, disappointment, everything. Went through a religious stage, a nihilism stage, then an existentialism stage. I think nihilism should be a transitional stage, its not healthy to stay there. Ive accepted my insignificance. There isnt anything bigger than me to hang onto or think about either. I think its about becoming comfortable with being yourself, being alone. Ive accepted the post modern world and my post modern self. The only truth is your personal experience. The best I can say is that experiences dictate state. You need to create the experiences needed to give yourself a new foundation and only you can know what that is. Dig deep and find that thing you want to do most and do it. You will find your own personal truth, meaning, satisfaction in that. If you want someone to chat with msg me.
@@mephesh that’s a very lovely and pertinent message. Thank you. Feeling pretty bleak again, but not going to bleat on internet about it. As you say I need to dig deep and find what I need. Thanks again x
Dom, you’re extremely brave for sharing this. You’re putting way too much pressure on yourself to achieve some ‘thing’. But there’s no external answer to why you’re struggling like this. This is depression, which I know well. Keep talking on this channel and find a therapist that you respect.
This is an impressive video. Not embarassing at all. It may feel pointless atm but as i imagine youve experienced before, one change in your life, such as securing a job, can have a dramatic turnaround on how you feel. Of course, this change is a challenge in itself but my point is that 'everything is fucked' quickly changes to 'oh its alright now' after one change/event. Its the depression and rumination that clouds this understanding. My heart reaches out to you.
I appreciate your openness in this video. Please don’t feel embarrassed. Thank you for sharing this with us all. If it’s any consolation, you light up my day whenever you’re on SJ’s and you always bring a smile to my face or uncontrollable laughter, even on days when I am feeling hopeless. I hope that you see this along with the other comments as while I completely understand that feeling of not doing enough with your life, you make so so many people happy. Thank you for being you and for being so raw. We are all here for you to talk whenever you need us. We love you Dom ❤
Dom you are a legend mate. No matter whatever people say or do. Your top. And everyday is a new challenge. Somethings you want will not be befitting for you because something better is planned for you.
Stay strong dom you’re very brave for sharing your struggles . you do have purpose it’s just hard to see it when you feel like this but you do .please keep safe
This is all free time, impossible to waste. I think about that sometimes how fast time is going, although cool to see each day as growth, even if it's a day of walking. What helped me greatly is finding hints of the Creator through synchronicity. That and putting as much time as possible into projects, arts, writing, anything, as it all grows greatly with the passage of time. I lived the hermit life nearing a decade and finding happiness now in things like looking at the sky and trees. Thinking about how it all grew. I also found that certain foods can add to the sense of well being, like oats of all things. Some can put us on edge. A daily or nightly walk is also greatly healing. I occasionally have days where I feel how you're feeling, and those days grow rarer as we free ourselves from time and its resulting anxiety. We have all the time in the world to create, grow, be, and as you are already doing, making friends and knitting community.
You got this dom. Life is shit at times but everyone has a purpose. i reccomend finding a routine to give you stability and act as an anchor with drinking water, 3 meals a day and talking to friends as i find that this helps me a lot, you already have success with adverts and if u stick to it bigger and better things will certainly come❤❤❤
You're not alone. I suffered from severe depression for the vast majority of my life, up until the age of about 35. Then I ran into a very wise person who changed my perspective completely. Those who suffer deeply need profound investigation to understand human suffering. Maybe there we will find some peace.
I'm so sorry Dom, I've struggled with depression for a long time as well and I can totally appreciate what you're going through. Please don't think you're alone. Please keep going and pushing through these feelings. I absolutely love you on Sloppy Joes, you're witty and wonderful
Dom I think you seem like an ace human being for what it’s worth. Every time I see you on Sloppy Joe’s I know the next hour of my life will be enjoyable. So I hope knowing that helps you in some way. Sending love ❤️❤️❤
Never be embarrassed over something like this Dom. You are an amazing character and human being, it’s okay to be sad and you will get through this. You are loved by all of us and we don’t even know you properly, I can’t imagine how much people care about you who get to experience life with you. You’ve got this keep going!
Its just words on the internet at the end of the day, but we all are pulling for you to get through this Dom. No matter how awful life can be, we all understand and don't look at this as weak, rather we look at it as you being very brave to even voice your feelings. We all hope you can get through this and you should know we love everything that you're doing and are extremely proud of it
Dom honestly since my introduction to you from the sloppy joes podcast youv been someone iv genuinely found hilarious and look forward to listening to you your absolutely mad stories about your life and your poems which never fail to make me laugh! I say this to remind you however difficult life is you make a difference to mine and many others through your entertainment🙏🏼 I wish you nothing but the best and remember this will pass just stay strong mate! Hope to see you good again soon!
Your honesty about how you’re feeling has helped me not feel so alone. Thanks for having the confidence to speak about the things I don’t have the confidence to speak about.
I don't know why this video popped up on my screen but I have also had an awful week for depression which I've had about as long as you. I'm 40 this year and doing everything people tell me. "exercise" "eat healthy" etc. The feeling of despair that It's never going to fully go away but I can see from your other videos you are trying to go sober. It took probably 18 months for me to really fill the void of addiction, your mind is out to get you at the moment. You will have these bad weeks but it does get easier I promise. I hope you keep making videos friend.
"I'm wasting my life. There's something I should be doing and I don't know what it is." - it's crazy how many men feel like this. I like to think it can all change in an instant
Dear Dom, I've been watching your videos for a while now and I can relate to your pain. You seem to have a great strength of character. In a way you became reborn on the onset of your new journey. This also means that there will be anxiety and fear in a way a child views the world. Keep confronting your inner dragon and you will eventually come out on top. You will grow out of this. And you will grow out of this faster while sharing your thoughts with someone who really listens. Good luck friend!
I am the same age, and I know the feelings that you are conveying. You are not alone feeling like this. You aren’t living the adventure that is meant to be your life and it hurts. Your response is perfectly normal and should be validated.
Take your time, Dom. It's a lot of pressure to be on camera. I commend your vulnerability and honesty. It always feels silly, but I never regret being honest or being myself. Thank you for sharing these thoughts/videos with us. To me as a viewer, it truly is a journey to join you in sobriety, but I understand if you need to take some time. You're a gem, Dom! Take care and please stay off the booze! Take care.
I’ve never heard anyone express this feeling so succinctly, you captured it so well. I’d say though that too much consciousness isn’t the sickness, but self-consciousness. It’s the self that’s the illusion, the real source our suffering. The reason distractions work for many people is that they lose themselves for a moment. The way even a boring dream feels amazing, because you’re so close to a flow state. And why we start the day feeling okay, before our blasted ego has had full chance to kick in!
You have nothing to apologise for, you're brave for talking about it. Love watching you on the sloppy joe podcast every week and I'm sure just that hour a week of cheering people up and making people laugh away from every day life will be helping them, just hope you've got some good friends around to help or at least know the fans online love you and will be inspired by what you're doing. You will get through it
Hey Dom. You’re doing alright. It’s all about perspective. For me personally, I make sure I make time to reflect and show Gratitude regularly for everything important. I know that is easier said than done and seems pointless but just by doing it, it does make a difference. This is coming from someone who thought everything was pointless. Did you have anything you was into even when you was younger? Getting back into something is a great way to serve a purpose. Honestly, the only thing better than doing something as a kid, is being able to do it as an adult! 10x more fun! Another thing that works for me that crosses over with the Gratitude part is praying. Please, just try it but again, be consistent with it. You’ve got to remember you’re in the exact position you’re supposed to be in at this point of your life. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and the reason you feel like this now is so that you will be stronger for the next part of your life. Remember, things you take for granted someone else is praying for. I hope this helps. Good luck to you pal
You’re not alone Dom we are all here with you . Your a fantastic human with many amazing qualities keep fighting speak to your friends around you when your down ❤
You’re more loved than you’ll ever imagine Dom. Keep your head held high. As a sufferer myself and rife in my family, it’s not easy but there is positivity in all things. Never keep it bottled up. Keep going mate ❤️
Life is truly shit at times. The fact you can articulate the struggle is a special skill. Thanks for sharing dom. I know you’re not after advice but have you ever tried mediation? I’ve gone through waves of feeling very similar and meditation has helped me steady the ship in times like this. This will pass mate🙏
I feel like I know you through the sloppy joes Dom, and I’m super proud of you for posting this video and voicing how you feel. It can feel lonely just talking to a bunch of names online but i speak for the rest of us when I say we are all in love with your humour, stories, worldview and resilience! Your resolve is admirable, and as many videos you need/want to post like this we will all be here to watch. Getting back to best is a long journey, and we’re all here with you for the whole way. Lots of love x
Keep going Dom. You keep going and you discover new things eventually. Being sad for a while is absolutely okay, but in the end you're the one who will find your way through. It can't be anyone else, so you'll get there. ❤
Love you Dom, and I mean it. Not in a creepy “I’ve been watching you way”, but also not just in the “I actually only love you for entertaining me”. And I can see how much better you are doing now after this video. It truly looks like you joining forces with the Sloppy Joes crew has been great for all involved. BUT: did you drop your guts at about 0:22 seconds into this video? Because it SUUUUUUUUURE looks like it. I noticed that as soon as I saw it, but given the content on this video, I knew I had to wait at least a sympathetic 3 months before posting this comment. ❤️
@@nickmansfield2528 I didn’t! Repositioning myself / trying to stop myself from blubbering from my eyes probably. Thanks mr Mansfield. I’m letting a few negative comments on the sloppy joes channel get to me, and it’s very silly. As I portray myself to be a bit of a wild card anyway. So it’s hypocritical. But yeah, not sure to take a break or not from that pod. I’m probably being sensitive. Much love to you too x
@ man, you canNOT let the idiots win! I can’t tell you how many real and true fans you have over in that Pod! And I can guarantee for every negative comment, there will be 100 positive ones. But I get it, we all do it. No matter how hard we try not to, it’s the one negative comment that gets stuck in our brains. But you are loved Dom! You have many many fans, me included ( and my daughters)!
Hey Dom, this is the first video I've seen of yours and holy cow does it hit home. I'm feeling EXACTLY the same way. I'm a 39 year old man with a great wife, 2 great kids (1yo and 3yo), a nice house and a job I don't completely hate yet I wake up every day in so much pain, both physically and mentally. Every day is a struggle and the way you have so eloquently conveyed your feelings have really resonated with me. I wish you the best of luck and hope for both our sakes that we can come through it and find the beauty in the world that I'm sure is there somewhere
I remember asking these type of things in videos myself after trying to quit substance abuse (alcohol, cocaine, cannabis, and Mcat) and made more videos talking to myself similar to this during the fallout. My crisis/aftercare teams framed the videos as a positive - we came to the understanding through cognitive behavioural therapy that anything that was going to bring me clarity at a time i needed to make sense of a future life without substance abuse was a good thing and should be explored. I found it ironic that i was complaining about not feeling alive at the time with so much more real emotion than i had most of the time i was abusing substances - but then to have chosen to film it and show it to myself was kind of the penny drop moment. Maybe its not that you should stop your videos - maybe its just that these videos are for your sake in terms of recovery not so much as a content creator Dom you bring me so much joy every week when i watch sloppy joes and to see you upset isn’t nice but i honestly didn’t watch this and think you were doing badly - i thought it a step i recognised from my own recovery. Stay safe Dom. Lots of love my dude.
I wasn't thinking "grow up". Life is hard sometimes, especially for sensitive people who feel things deeply. That sensitivity is a superpower though; understanding the pain that other people might be feeling in life is a gift. I know you'll get through it. And when you get through it I hope you help other people get through their own crises, in some way.
Hey Dom, the fact you're able to talk so eloquently whilst meandering on your own thoughts is an ability few have. If you can open yourself up on these videos and are feeling like you can open up privately then I and I'm sure many others have their messages open. Friends are there to be made. If you need to vent or muse over the darker or happy thoughts, feel free to drop me a message.
I've been battling severe depression going on 17 years now. Keep going...we are fighters! Since you don't want advice, i'll just repeat this: What you do rn is NOT pointless, but maybe one of the most important steps you ever took.
"I'd tell myself to grow up" Bro, not even close to what I was thinking. This is the first real and human thing I've seen in ages... I wish more people weren't afraid of crying. We're trapped in a paradox for eternity. What people think of me is the least of my worries lmfao.
You are not your mind. The brain is an organ which compulsively thinks, and that can spiral. You're a legend Dom, one of the most compelling storytellers I've heard. Please read the power of now. Hope you feel more positive soon man.
Go travelling! Trips abroad by yourself can change your outlook on life and make you feel so much better! Plus you could video your adventures and make great content
Not to put a downer on the idea but I’m watching this from a hotel room in Chiang Mai Thailand. Travelling the world alone. Suffered with depression for years and thought I’d solve my issues by going away and living the “dream” travelling. After 2 months here my depression has worsened. I’ve realised that what troubles I was dealing with in the uk don’t stay in the uk. You can’t run away from them. I’ve finally sought medication which I never wanted to do. But I was at a dangerous crossroads of either giving the meds a shot or take a stupid and drastic decision as I sat on my balcony. I also beat stage 4 cancer, so an outsider looking at my life would tell me I have no reason to be depressed and should be ecstatic 24/7. All I can advise is to seek some professional help mate. It took me years and I regret waiting.
@@patrickcahill7998 my deepest sympathies for your current situation and I hope your health can recover! I completely understand My personal experience of 20 years with depression and a suicide attempt, I went away by myself after being ditched by a girl, came back still depressed, but it opened a gate for me to a possible alternate life So with nothing to lose, and a new life to gain, I wrote a bucket list of 100 things to do before I die and have since travelled all around the world ticking them off and the whole thing has given me a whole new purpose and lease of life! I’m no longer the slightest bit depressed and it’s all in my past! I’m even happier and more confident than anyone I know or have ever met, which is crazy to think! I just wanted to share my experience because although it is not a cure for everyone, it did help me, and so it may help somebody else too… hopefully!
Step 1 achieved here mate. Vocalising for me was tough but it’s liberating and I hope you feel the same after this. I think like a lot of the comments here suggest, you can’t make radical changes overnight. Focus on one or two areas that you know have a negative impact on you. Temporarily phase out the drinking - not only do you biologically improve but the challenge eg 30 days sober is rewarding and spurs you on. If you haven’t already then get yourself on some meds. Best decision I ever made was taking SSRIs and stayed on them for a while now despite feeling better. Might be a placebo effect but handing over the responsibility of “feeling better” to a drug took a lot of weight off my shoulders. Look after yourself and if you don’t have people in your life who you can vocalise to in this way, keep posting videos and let this community listen. All the best!
Hey bud, haven't seen your videos before, this is the first. You seem like a very intelligent chap. Being one myself I think we hold the weight of the world (and the universe) on our shoulders as we just think too damn much. As someone that lives with mental illness, here's the advice I'd like to give you (because I'm a lot better at giving advice than following through myself!): Be kind to yourself and remember "it always gets better, this feeling is only temporary". I think also you should be really proud of yourself. We need more crying men in the world. And hey, at least it means you feel "something", even if it's a negative emotion. Hang in there, I'm sure you mean a lot to a lot of people (not subscribers, but "real" people). It gets better. It gets better. It gets better.
Whats missing is your potential to benefit mankind. Ironically, you are serving humanity thru this video. Sometimes we Do things that we see meaningful in a meaningless world
Hi Dom, I don’t really know what to say as a way of trying to offer some sort of comfort (there probably isn’t anything) but thanks for this video. I won’t go into specifics as engaging in some sort of suffering olympics is of no use to anyone, but for various reasons I identify with a lot of what you’ve said recently. Specifically when you talk about feeling a lack of purpose and what you said on the stream on saturday about not being a “proper man” or still feeling somewhat like a child. I guess I just want to say how much I admire you for uploading this video. For the most part vulnerability is chum in the water for assholes and this took a lot of courage, courage I wish I had.
We underestimate the subconscious tension held in body and mind, and the only method to dispel this is relaxing body and mind through sitting meditation. " i" am wasting my life" ....... Eckhart Tolle in his book The power of now describes his dark night of the soul which led to the statement " I can't live with myself anymore" This separation between the "I" and the myself was the pivotal element necessary for transformation. The true 'I' the "witness" must emerge for authentic relief and happiness
3:44 “i feel dreadful and I can’t see any light anywhere” - without letting any pre-existing bias enter your mind, search up a video on the life of jesus or start reading the gospel of john. i didn’t realise i was searching for the light until it was too bright to ignore and now i finally feel sure that im living life the way i should be
As someone who also struggles with depression, I know there’s no quick fix and nothing you can say that really helps. It just fucking sucks. But the sloppy joes podcast is some temporary relief for me, and apart from a cure that’s all you can really hope for. I really hope the clouds clear for you soon bud.
Time goes slower when you do new things. Go do new things, go solo traveling, go hike across the lake district, there's always something new to do. It's easier said than done but it's a good place to start. Good job making the video brother 💪
No advice this time but will look forward to your next videos regardless :) I mourned my drunk self. I didn’t realise at the time. Spent alot of first three months crying. And that’s ok for me. Hope you feel better soon I really do.
The visuals to your video are very cool, sorry to hear youre going through a hard time. Ive felt like that before for months on end when my health went down the toilet from drugs. Probably the last thing hou wanna hear, and itll sound a bit wacky but Peter Attia does great podcasts on mitachondrial health 😅. When were depressed the source is often physical. Hope it gets better! Edit: just had a look at your other videos. Mate, youre going through annhedonia. This is completely normal.
@DommyBW the world is on its last legs dom! It will carry on without us! Basically it's a numbers game at one time we were in small groups e.g villages and towns and without the social media. This meant that within these small communities we all once was someone within them due to the large numbers of concentrated people in huge societies like the Internet Facebook and so on we are now just one in a million instead of 1 in 10, 000. This makes everything x10 harder and more competitive. This leads to the survive at all costs and fuck the less than 5% who are popular, rich, loving and kind. It produces too many ambitious people who will do anything to succeed! Your not one of them people mate like me which puts us in this position. All I can say is stay your course your empathing the coming collapse of humanity which is terrible but unfortunately the larger population are being sucked down the drain like our solar system into the blackhole. We are nearing the point of the no return mark and you sir are not this is how you feel like this! It's normal it's them that aren't hence your not distracted and focus on the real world. You seem a good person we need more like you so what I'm saying is your one of the special human beings keep going! Martin
No,no,no dom,we allk get down,we all can feel fragile,im living with a stroke that happened 15 years ago,sadly we all can feel a little weak and pointless
I like you bro. I bet youre the kindest friendliest person in your inner circle. Stay off drink. You know what you need/should be doing. Just dont pressure yourself if youre not doing it. Accept that maybe you wont today its fine. Stack up small dubs and if youre not consistant fuck it. None of us are
I also feel like I'm wasting my life...and I have no answers. I try and rediscover motivation but the reality of it all, the stupid, pointless cruelty of life, of society in general, is overwhelming. My raison d'etre is to find the good stuff, the stuff worth living for, the moments that make me laugh, which remind me that if I was to end it, that I wouldn't be experiencing them, that I wouldn't be finding value in connecting with others of like minds.
This is the least cringey thing I've seen you do, it's far too relatable. I think we're lonely. Scariest thing in the world. You'd make a girl out there very happy, you're super intelligent and super funny and really, really talented. Get on ALL the apps, find wifey. I hate giving advice but I can just picture and hear you talking very happily about a relationship one day in the future.
As a person just like you - I mean even in the looks department - I would recomend two channels to START do understand your situation. The channel "Aaron Clarey" and some of his books, and the channel "That Guy Pete You Refuse to Invite to Gatherings" (especially the old videos). Pete had problems with alcohol too. Life today is difficult for almost all men; money, relationships, family, everything that matters it's becoming more difficult to achieve, unless you are the top 10% of the man today. But there's hope once you understand where we are you can construct something solid. You have time yet. My best wishes.
Dom you’re a very intelligent and funny guy and you have a lovely soul. Please try not to forget that. I understand everything you are saying. I think we all feel this way on some level. I know you didn’t want advice, but in my experience, having been through something very similar, I can say that the only thing that helps is regular physical exercise. This will sound very crude and you will resist believing this, but trust me, there are no substitutes for those natural endorphins and they will help you out. Please try to believe me. It’s hard to hear you speak like this. We are all just smart chimps on a ball of rock hurtling round a massive ball of fire trying to figure this shit out. You are not alone in what you are thinking and you CAN overcome it brother 👊
I say the point is to get better than you were yesterday. Learn and improve. Talk to people, help people. There are many people who feel same or worse than you. That might just be your purpose. Keep looking.
With the world in the state that it is we need more of this. I believe we are definitely going through a change for the better but it’s gonna be ruff getting there. Idk buddy just hang in there if this is a video game like simulation we’re living in we gotta at least drag our dick through the dirt to the end otherwise we might have to start over in a level that’s harder than this. Idk that’s something that keeps me pushing through. Keep up the good fight buddy.
Take some time out and rest. you shown real character making a video and open up like this is alway good to open up and get things of your chest. Head up and keep fighting.
Nothing to be embarrassed about. I experience the same feeling, that existential question, "what's the point?" And I've concluded that the point to existence, aside from the obvious one, propagation and the continuation of the species, is to experience life to its fullest but that the usual shite gets in the way of that. The problem here is intelligence. The blissfully ignorant don't ask these questions in their quiet moments. Their questions are more like "Gor, I wonder if yer one off Corrie/Eastenders/Emmerdale's tits are as big as they look on telly?" and of course, that old classic "If we were monkeys once then why are there still monkeys?" I can't say it gets any easier and you've probably come to the same conclusion. What I have found helps is interacting with like minds. You're not alone, mate!
@@DommyBW, laughing, that's the key, I've found. This is the moment when I do a Ricky Gervais and enact that cringemaking scene in The Office where he hosts that seminar and tells everyone there to start laughing and everyone there is wishing they were somewhere else. You'll get through this.
Hi Dom, well done for staying sober for a month, that shows progress in your life! If you feel comfortable, I know the Sloppy Joes and their Sloppers are always here for you 😁 we love you mate
Hey mate, where about in the UK are you based? I've spent my fair share of time feeling like you are now, so I know what it's like to be bombarded with advice and suggestions from every angle. If you're not a million miles away I'm more than happy to come find you and hang out for a bit though. A walk in the country, sit around and do nothing, vent all the stuff that isn't youtube friendly onto a stranger, whatever. 😅
@@DommyBW Ah man, I visited Manchester for the first time a few months ago for work, I loved it. I'm based in the south east but travel quite a bit for work. I'll give you a heads-up when I'm up that way again. I'm a set builder in the film industry, it took me until I was 36 to find something that I was excited to get out of bed for in the morning, and then the strikes put us all out of work. Back to square one! Someone told me I'm always trying to chase happiness, which is like doing coke. Always chasing a buzz that never satisfies like the first line, so you keep going and going. I try aim for contentment instead now, some days are harder than others! I hope you're having some better days by the time I make it up there, for you buddy, I'll be there either way. :)
Well Dom, sorry for your troubles. If you at all can, for now, seriously commit to 3 meals a day your granny would recognise (ie whole foods), a couple of pieces of fruit in between, and 30 mins of decent exercise per day. If it's walking, well and good. Do it for a month. Been there, done that. It can really help.
Ditto. I 100% agree. I suffer often from bouts of depression and like Dom says I know exercise helps, the problem with exercise is for it to be beneficial both physically and mentally is that it has to be something you enjoy... in my experience anyway. I walk often which I mostly enjoy but there are days when to motivate myself to go for a stroll is a real struggle. I've learnt over the years that an alternative, or reserve activity is a good tactic to have, after all doing something is better than doing nothing. So for my "off" days when I struggle to go for a walk I do my alternative activity to get my exercise and I always feel better afterwards. Always.
damn brother :S I feel you like for real. Life is hard, sometimes I wish I was never born. This world is fucked up, even more so now in this day and age after all the smartphones and social media people changed... Ifeel like stuck in life, everyday is the same, like groundhog day. I am 23 and I am pretty bored from life, I feel like is this is it to life? Dreading going to work coming back home just sitting on the computer, I mean I do go to the gym but there is no highlight to my life anymore. Been through tough break ups. Everytime I think it will work this time, it doesn't. Sometimes I drink or take drugs just to forget that I am bored asf. Got 3400 hours in a fcking card game I play everyday online called hearthstone. I don't know man. Just gotta keep going. One of the reasons why I Don't want children, is that I think this world is too fucked up to bring children into...
@@tunakiller72 share a lot of similar views. Sometimes life is very wonderful and unexpected things can happen. Those tiny moments are what I’m sticking around for. They are nice. I won’t give you any advice. But I have a strong feeling you’ll be alright and find your own way. Be patient. Much love
Oh, man. Depression. Nobody understands if they’ve never had it. I could do literally nothing. U can’t just “snap out of it”. I understand feeling dreadful. I did absolutely nothing but cry. I thought I’d never get better, but I did. And now I live in fear of it coming back. Do u have a doctor? Are you on meds. I had to go on them. They helped tremendously. And my heart aches for you, I really do. I hope u can get help. God Bless You.
@@almaconnor9171 thank you. I’ve had it since I was in my teens but it’s particularly bad this time as it feels like almost a real sickness, an illness I can’t shake. Makes it worse that you have to try and be normal but it’s almost impossible. I was on meds for 7 years but am apprehensive about going back on. Might have to really. Have some doctors appointments coming up. Thanks for your support x
@ oh, Dommy, I’m so sorry u have had to deal with this for so long. And absolutely YES, it actually feels like an illness. We really are sick. I didn’t want to go on the meds but I had no choice really. I wasn’t living. So I went on them and they worked. I’m still on them, almost 5 years now. And now I know that I will take them however long I need to. I hope you can see someone Dommy and you will seriously consider taking them. Please don’t let yourself suffer. I know it’s no way to live, so please, get help, please. I will pray for you. Be kind to yourself Dommy, you deserve it. I hope you come back and tell us how you are. People do care. I know I do. God Bless you Dommy.
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Thank you all. I read all the comments and they help more than you know. I will reply soon
Edit: there are lots and lots of very in depth and heartfelt comments and I don’t know whether I’ll be able to keep up. But it’s very moving having people care and take time in an effort to help. Thank you all.
@ProlificMelody I wrote a song about your singer/songwriting ability..
It's called road to nowhere
You are a rockstar Dom!
No advice here, just want you to know that you put a smile on SO MANY people's faces and make them happy!
My maternal grandma passed away last year and I was having an existential crises and wondering what the point is at 32 too.. then my mother, keeping her own pain aside, explained, there IS a point. We're all going through bullshit in this world.. the point is to help those around us get throygg theirs by making them smile. YOU make us smile! You help us get through our day to day crap. I look forward to you appearing on the Sloppy Joes every time! And every time you appear, you make me smile! You add so much to our day. So much to my day! I recently moved countries, last year, and miss my family, but needed a fresh start. Your pods help me feel more positive, by making me smile. Maybe that is your purpose. Helping others get through. That is NOT wasting time or your life! Not everyone makes a difference in the manner you do!
Strength, love, and light to you my friend ❤️
I really hope you do not take this down. It makes us who have depression know that they are not alone with it.
With the alcohol removed it has uncovered what was there, alcohol in some sense helped cope albeit a maladaptive coping mechanism.
Keep going buddy, you’ll make it through this and come out the other side fine.
I am so sorry. Even if I had any advice, I don't think I would say anything anyway because I suffer with depression and though people mean well when they suggest things, it just gets hard when you already know those aren't the answers. Yeah it distracts us but what about the actual issue? The alone feeling, the sad feeling, the empty feeling, the fear, the anxiety, the negative thoughts....the depression....
And when people say "just be happy." Like again, thank you for your suggestion but depression isn't a choice. I start to feel more and more alone when people haven't a clue what it's actually like.
Anyway dude, I have nothing to say except the cliche, that I hope one day that sh*tty feeling/s can just bugger off! I wish this for everyone suffering.
You seem like a lovely man and I truly wish the best for you. I cried when you cried. :( I'm just so sorry. I wish I had the answer but I don't even know how to fix my own.
I wish I could hug you. And please never apologise for crying. *big hugs*
@@DanisJourneyToWhere hugs to you too. Know exactly how you feel with everything you’ve said
@@DommyBW Thank you buddy. 🤗🤗
You are not wasting time. That is a false concept we are born with as humans. You are a powerful being of light and it causes you pain to not feel the power of that. Depression, I feel is a tool to seeing beyond this illusion we call life. I find that if I think of this as a movie or a play and I am playing a role, it helps me see through. I feel depression at time, I think we all do. It is nothing to be ashamed of. Blessings and great love to you. You are a beautiful being. My intention is for you to Feel that deep inside. Know that I am constantly telling myself the same. Also crying is a form of letting go of toxic thoughts, ideas and showing you are beautifully human. Love and Light sir!
That was profoundly sobering and refreshing.Thank you,friend.
It’s hard to quantify joy, I find enjoying the simple things helps. Since you started on SJ I can’t tell you how much I’ve belly laughed at your storytelling Dom. You add joy to my week, and we dont even know each other. They say find work in something you enjoy in life and you’ll never work a day in your life. Perhaps there something in that. We love you man, we’re with you.
Massive respect for posting this Dom. Your feelings are always valid, even the negative ones. Take it one day at a time and keep expressing yourself. I read a quote once, can't remember who it was but they said: "If you're going through hell, for fuck's sake keep going!"
@@propersensitive8776 think it was Churchill! I will thank you
Well done bro. You have the courage to share your problems and thoughts. There is absolutely nothing wrong in crying and venting out your negative thoughts. It is good for you in the longer run. We all are with you. I have noticed that many people in the comments section give very positive and good remarks. They are worth reading. Thumbs up to you.
Hope this helps: Ive been through my sadness, disappointment, everything. Went through a religious stage, a nihilism stage, then an existentialism stage. I think nihilism should be a transitional stage, its not healthy to stay there. Ive accepted my insignificance. There isnt anything bigger than me to hang onto or think about either. I think its about becoming comfortable with being yourself, being alone. Ive accepted the post modern world and my post modern self. The only truth is your personal experience. The best I can say is that experiences dictate state. You need to create the experiences needed to give yourself a new foundation and only you can know what that is. Dig deep and find that thing you want to do most and do it. You will find your own personal truth, meaning, satisfaction in that. If you want someone to chat with msg me.
@@mephesh that’s a very lovely and pertinent message. Thank you. Feeling pretty bleak again, but not going to bleat on internet about it. As you say I need to dig deep and find what I need. Thanks again x
Since you started SJ's ive been enjoying your comedy so much! I envy how talented you are! Youre brilliant Dom!
@@willhesketh7755 you’re very kind x
I think you are a great person Dom, I've suffered from depression and anxiety for a long time and you are an inspiration to me. Lots of love to you.
@@Kamtrocity that’s very kind thank you . Love
Dom, you’re extremely brave for sharing this. You’re putting way too much pressure on yourself to achieve some ‘thing’. But there’s no external answer to why you’re struggling like this. This is depression, which I know well. Keep talking on this channel and find a therapist that you respect.
@@alexramage1 you are right. Battling a ghost
This is an impressive video. Not embarassing at all. It may feel pointless atm but as i imagine youve experienced before, one change in your life, such as securing a job, can have a dramatic turnaround on how you feel. Of course, this change is a challenge in itself but my point is that 'everything is fucked' quickly changes to 'oh its alright now' after one change/event. Its the depression and rumination that clouds this understanding. My heart reaches out to you.
@@Liam-tl5nn you are right. It’s just hard to imagine anything happening
@@DommyBWof course my friend, I understand. My friend reminded me that these thoughts are adjacent with this period in giving up drinking
I appreciate your openness in this video. Please don’t feel embarrassed. Thank you for sharing this with us all. If it’s any consolation, you light up my day whenever you’re on SJ’s and you always bring a smile to my face or uncontrollable laughter, even on days when I am feeling hopeless. I hope that you see this along with the other comments as while I completely understand that feeling of not doing enough with your life, you make so so many people happy. Thank you for being you and for being so raw. We are all here for you to talk whenever you need us. We love you Dom ❤
God bless you, brother. Cry it out, spend time with loved ones, and put your faith in doing good for others.
Dom you are a legend mate. No matter whatever people say or do. Your top. And everyday is a new challenge. Somethings you want will not be befitting for you because something better is planned for you.
@@zam1992 thank you. That’s very wise
Stay strong dom you’re very brave for sharing your struggles . you do have purpose it’s just hard to see it when you feel like this but you do .please keep safe
@@sammyc5784 thank you
This is all free time, impossible to waste. I think about that sometimes how fast time is going, although cool to see each day as growth, even if it's a day of walking. What helped me greatly is finding hints of the Creator through synchronicity. That and putting as much time as possible into projects, arts, writing, anything, as it all grows greatly with the passage of time. I lived the hermit life nearing a decade and finding happiness now in things like looking at the sky and trees. Thinking about how it all grew. I also found that certain foods can add to the sense of well being, like oats of all things. Some can put us on edge. A daily or nightly walk is also greatly healing. I occasionally have days where I feel how you're feeling, and those days grow rarer as we free ourselves from time and its resulting anxiety. We have all the time in the world to create, grow, be, and as you are already doing, making friends and knitting community.
Going through something very similar to yourself Dom, things will get better and you’re doing great. Much love ❤️
You got this dom. Life is shit at times but everyone has a purpose. i reccomend finding a routine to give you stability and act as an anchor with drinking water, 3 meals a day and talking to friends as i find that this helps me a lot, you already have success with adverts and if u stick to it bigger and better things will certainly come❤❤❤
@@fjdjdhnd I will try eat better. Water not a problem. Hard to hope for things right now but it might change x
You're not alone. I suffered from severe depression for the vast majority of my life, up until the age of about 35. Then I ran into a very wise person who changed my perspective completely. Those who suffer deeply need profound investigation to understand human suffering. Maybe there we will find some peace.
It's okay to not feel okay. One's feelings are better out than in. Hang in there, Sir.👍
Keep going Dom, sounds like your going through a bad phase at the moment but you will get through this 🙏🏻
@@tommmymm thank you I hope so
I'm so sorry Dom, I've struggled with depression for a long time as well and I can totally appreciate what you're going through. Please don't think you're alone. Please keep going and pushing through these feelings. I absolutely love you on Sloppy Joes, you're witty and wonderful
Maybe what you’re supposed to be doing is exactly what you’re doing right now! Thank you for being brave and speaking!
Dom I think you seem like an ace human being for what it’s worth. Every time I see you on Sloppy Joe’s I know the next hour of my life will be enjoyable. So I hope knowing that helps you in some way. Sending love ❤️❤️❤
@@russellmcgowan8164 that does. Thank you. Many more to come hopefully
Sending all my love and respect your way Dom ❤
Your poems and stories on Sloppy Joes has brought me so much joy and laughter over the last few months!
Never be embarrassed over something like this Dom. You are an amazing character and human being, it’s okay to be sad and you will get through this. You are loved by all of us and we don’t even know you properly, I can’t imagine how much people care about you who get to experience life with you. You’ve got this keep going!
Its just words on the internet at the end of the day, but we all are pulling for you to get through this Dom. No matter how awful life can be, we all understand and don't look at this as weak, rather we look at it as you being very brave to even voice your feelings. We all hope you can get through this and you should know we love everything that you're doing and are extremely proud of it
Dom honestly since my introduction to you from the sloppy joes podcast youv been someone iv genuinely found hilarious and look forward to listening to you your absolutely mad stories about your life and your poems which never fail to make me laugh! I say this to remind you however difficult life is you make a difference to mine and many others through your entertainment🙏🏼 I wish you nothing but the best and remember this will pass just stay strong mate! Hope to see you good again soon!
Your honesty about how you’re feeling has helped me not feel so alone. Thanks for having the confidence to speak about the things I don’t have the confidence to speak about.
@@FritzoDaKittzo that’s very touching thank you. I nearly didn’t upload because it was too embarrassing or self centred, but if it helps I’m glad
I don't know why this video popped up on my screen but I have also had an awful week for depression which I've had about as long as you. I'm 40 this year and doing everything people tell me. "exercise" "eat healthy" etc. The feeling of despair that It's never going to fully go away but I can see from your other videos you are trying to go sober. It took probably 18 months for me to really fill the void of addiction, your mind is out to get you at the moment. You will have these bad weeks but it does get easier I promise. I hope you keep making videos friend.
"I'm wasting my life. There's something I should be doing and I don't know what it is." - it's crazy how many men feel like this. I like to think it can all change in an instant
Dear Dom, I've been watching your videos for a while now and I can relate to your pain. You seem to have a great strength of character. In a way you became reborn on the onset of your new journey. This also means that there will be anxiety and fear in a way a child views the world. Keep confronting your inner dragon and you will eventually come out on top. You will grow out of this. And you will grow out of this faster while sharing your thoughts with someone who really listens. Good luck friend!
I am the same age, and I know the feelings that you are conveying. You are not alone feeling like this. You aren’t living the adventure that is meant to be your life and it hurts. Your response is perfectly normal and should be validated.
Take your time, Dom. It's a lot of pressure to be on camera. I commend your vulnerability and honesty. It always feels silly, but I never regret being honest or being myself. Thank you for sharing these thoughts/videos with us. To me as a viewer, it truly is a journey to join you in sobriety, but I understand if you need to take some time. You're a gem, Dom! Take care and please stay off the booze! Take care.
I’ve never heard anyone express this feeling so succinctly, you captured it so well. I’d say though that too much consciousness isn’t the sickness, but self-consciousness. It’s the self that’s the illusion, the real source our suffering. The reason distractions work for many people is that they lose themselves for a moment. The way even a boring dream feels amazing, because you’re so close to a flow state. And why we start the day feeling okay, before our blasted ego has had full chance to kick in!
@@monkeypeas absolutely. I’m so tired of being overly self conscious .
You have nothing to apologise for, you're brave for talking about it. Love watching you on the sloppy joe podcast every week and I'm sure just that hour a week of cheering people up and making people laugh away from every day life will be helping them, just hope you've got some good friends around to help or at least know the fans online love you and will be inspired by what you're doing. You will get through it
Hey Dom. You’re doing alright. It’s all about perspective. For me personally, I make sure I make time to reflect and show Gratitude regularly for everything important. I know that is easier said than done and seems pointless but just by doing it, it does make a difference. This is coming from someone who thought everything was pointless.
Did you have anything you was into even when you was younger? Getting back into something is a great way to serve a purpose. Honestly, the only thing better than doing something as a kid, is being able to do it as an adult! 10x more fun!
Another thing that works for me that crosses over with the Gratitude part is praying. Please, just try it but again, be consistent with it.
You’ve got to remember you’re in the exact position you’re supposed to be in at this point of your life. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and the reason you feel like this now is so that you will be stronger for the next part of your life. Remember, things you take for granted someone else is praying for. I hope this helps.
Good luck to you pal
Good luck . Had my own struggles in last 2 years . For me music and spending time with family has helped . I wish you the best of luck ❤
@@Lexington125 thank you. When I remember to listen to music it always helps
You’re not alone Dom we are all here with you . Your a fantastic human with many amazing qualities keep fighting speak to your friends around you when your down ❤
You’re more loved than you’ll ever imagine Dom. Keep your head held high. As a sufferer myself and rife in my family, it’s not easy but there is positivity in all things. Never keep it bottled up. Keep going mate ❤️
Your pain is your purpose. I sense you are a lightworker and could help others greatly.
You have all the answers you seek within yourself.
Life is truly shit at times. The fact you can articulate the struggle is a special skill. Thanks for sharing dom. I know you’re not after advice but have you ever tried mediation? I’ve gone through waves of feeling very similar and meditation has helped me steady the ship in times like this. This will pass mate🙏
@@Fray-bentos-george I have never tried meditation but lots recommend. I will have a look thank you
I feel like I know you through the sloppy joes Dom, and I’m super proud of you for posting this video and voicing how you feel. It can feel lonely just talking to a bunch of names online but i speak for the rest of us when I say we are all in love with your humour, stories, worldview and resilience! Your resolve is admirable, and as many videos you need/want to post like this we will all be here to watch. Getting back to best is a long journey, and we’re all here with you for the whole way.
Lots of love x
Love you Dom, the company you provide on the sloppy joes podcast is cherished by many of us ❤️
Here for you dude, what you're saying is very relatable
@@HarryW96 thank you x
Keep going Dom. You keep going and you discover new things eventually. Being sad for a while is absolutely okay, but in the end you're the one who will find your way through. It can't be anyone else, so you'll get there. ❤
Love you Dom, and I mean it. Not in a creepy “I’ve been watching you way”, but also not just in the “I actually only love you for entertaining me”.
And I can see how much better you are doing now after this video. It truly looks like you joining forces with the Sloppy Joes crew has been great for all involved.
BUT: did you drop your guts at about 0:22 seconds into this video? Because it SUUUUUUUUURE looks like it. I noticed that as soon as I saw it, but given the content on this video, I knew I had to wait at least a sympathetic 3 months before posting this comment. ❤️
@@nickmansfield2528 let me have a look
@@nickmansfield2528 I didn’t! Repositioning myself / trying to stop myself from blubbering from my eyes probably. Thanks mr Mansfield. I’m letting a few negative comments on the sloppy joes channel get to me, and it’s very silly. As I portray myself to be a bit of a wild card anyway. So it’s hypocritical. But yeah, not sure to take a break or not from that pod. I’m probably being sensitive. Much love to you too x
@ man, you canNOT let the idiots win! I can’t tell you how many real and true fans you have over in that Pod! And I can guarantee for every negative comment, there will be 100 positive ones.
But I get it, we all do it. No matter how hard we try not to, it’s the one negative comment that gets stuck in our brains.
But you are loved Dom! You have many many fans, me included ( and my daughters)!
Hey Dom, this is the first video I've seen of yours and holy cow does it hit home. I'm feeling EXACTLY the same way. I'm a 39 year old man with a great wife, 2 great kids (1yo and 3yo), a nice house and a job I don't completely hate yet I wake up every day in so much pain, both physically and mentally. Every day is a struggle and the way you have so eloquently conveyed your feelings have really resonated with me. I wish you the best of luck and hope for both our sakes that we can come through it and find the beauty in the world that I'm sure is there somewhere
@@SteveNicholls-mt8hv I have a friend who has the house and kids and everything too and feels the same way. We’ll get through it x
I remember asking these type of things in videos myself after trying to quit substance abuse (alcohol, cocaine, cannabis, and Mcat) and made more videos talking to myself similar to this during the fallout. My crisis/aftercare teams framed the videos as a positive - we came to the understanding through cognitive behavioural therapy that anything that was going to bring me clarity at a time i needed to make sense of a future life without substance abuse was a good thing and should be explored.
I found it ironic that i was complaining about not feeling alive at the time with so much more real emotion than i had most of the time i was abusing substances - but then to have chosen to film it and show it to myself was kind of the penny drop moment.
Maybe its not that you should stop your videos - maybe its just that these videos are for your sake in terms of recovery not so much as a content creator
Dom you bring me so much joy every week when i watch sloppy joes and to see you upset isn’t nice but i honestly didn’t watch this and think you were doing badly - i thought it a step i recognised from my own recovery.
Stay safe Dom. Lots of love my dude.
@@chrisbingham1567 thank you x
I wasn't thinking "grow up". Life is hard sometimes, especially for sensitive people who feel things deeply. That sensitivity is a superpower though; understanding the pain that other people might be feeling in life is a gift.
I know you'll get through it. And when you get through it I hope you help other people get through their own crises, in some way.
Hey Dom, the fact you're able to talk so eloquently whilst meandering on your own thoughts is an ability few have. If you can open yourself up on these videos and are feeling like you can open up privately then I and I'm sure many others have their messages open. Friends are there to be made. If you need to vent or muse over the darker or happy thoughts, feel free to drop me a message.
@@olliemackay294 that’s very kind of you thank you
I wish you all the best my friend,
for what it's worth.
@@Drixard really appreciate it thank you
I've been battling severe depression going on 17 years now. Keep going...we are fighters! Since you don't want advice, i'll just repeat this: What you do rn is NOT pointless, but maybe one of the most important steps you ever took.
A problem shared is a problem halved! 😢
I definitely relate to some of the stuff you said - I hope you're feeling better soon! ✊
"I'd tell myself to grow up"
Bro, not even close to what I was thinking. This is the first real and human thing I've seen in ages... I wish more people weren't afraid of crying. We're trapped in a paradox for eternity. What people think of me is the least of my worries lmfao.
You are not your mind. The brain is an organ which compulsively thinks, and that can spiral. You're a legend Dom, one of the most compelling storytellers I've heard. Please read the power of now. Hope you feel more positive soon man.
Go travelling! Trips abroad by yourself can change your outlook on life and make you feel so much better! Plus you could video your adventures and make great content
@@Asgoodasitgets146 thank you. I’m trying to plan to.
Not to put a downer on the idea but I’m watching this from a hotel room in Chiang Mai Thailand. Travelling the world alone. Suffered with depression for years and thought I’d solve my issues by going away and living the “dream” travelling. After 2 months here my depression has worsened. I’ve realised that what troubles I was dealing with in the uk don’t stay in the uk. You can’t run away from them. I’ve finally sought medication which I never wanted to do. But I was at a dangerous crossroads of either giving the meds a shot or take a stupid and drastic decision as I sat on my balcony.
I also beat stage 4 cancer, so an outsider looking at my life would tell me I have no reason to be depressed and should be ecstatic 24/7.
All I can advise is to seek some professional help mate. It took me years and I regret waiting.
@@patrickcahill7998 I read somewhere that wherever you go , you’ll be still there. Can’t run away from yourself. Thanks for your advice
@@patrickcahill7998Needed to hear that. I’m debating to move to SE asia but with this depression it sounds like a bad plan
@@patrickcahill7998 my deepest sympathies for your current situation and I hope your health can recover! I completely understand
My personal experience of 20 years with depression and a suicide attempt, I went away by myself after being ditched by a girl, came back still depressed, but it opened a gate for me to a possible alternate life
So with nothing to lose, and a new life to gain, I wrote a bucket list of 100 things to do before I die and have since travelled all around the world ticking them off and the whole thing has given me a whole new purpose and lease of life! I’m no longer the slightest bit depressed and it’s all in my past! I’m even happier and more confident than anyone I know or have ever met, which is crazy to think!
I just wanted to share my experience because although it is not a cure for everyone, it did help me, and so it may help somebody else too… hopefully!
Step 1 achieved here mate. Vocalising for me was tough but it’s liberating and I hope you feel the same after this. I think like a lot of the comments here suggest, you can’t make radical changes overnight. Focus on one or two areas that you know have a negative impact on you. Temporarily phase out the drinking - not only do you biologically improve but the challenge eg 30 days sober is rewarding and spurs you on. If you haven’t already then get yourself on some meds. Best decision I ever made was taking SSRIs and stayed on them for a while now despite feeling better. Might be a placebo effect but handing over the responsibility of “feeling better” to a drug took a lot of weight off my shoulders. Look after yourself and if you don’t have people in your life who you can vocalise to in this way, keep posting videos and let this community listen. All the best!
Not sure how I stumbled upon this, but I share some of the same feelings as you sir, let it all out. Don't give up, ever
@@Ketodadreviews thank you. I’ll try not to. Hibernation for nowb
Hey bud, haven't seen your videos before, this is the first. You seem like a very intelligent chap. Being one myself I think we hold the weight of the world (and the universe) on our shoulders as we just think too damn much. As someone that lives with mental illness, here's the advice I'd like to give you (because I'm a lot better at giving advice than following through myself!): Be kind to yourself and remember "it always gets better, this feeling is only temporary".
I think also you should be really proud of yourself. We need more crying men in the world. And hey, at least it means you feel "something", even if it's a negative emotion. Hang in there, I'm sure you mean a lot to a lot of people (not subscribers, but "real" people).
It gets better. It gets better. It gets better.
Your so brave for doing this! ❤
Whats missing is your potential to benefit mankind. Ironically, you are serving humanity thru this video.
Sometimes we Do things that we see meaningful in a meaningless world
I’m with you my friend. You are not the only one!
@@bryancorralez6633 thanks friend. This life thing is difficult
Be kind to yourself Dom. You are important and you matter. Keep up the good work 👊🏻
You’re awesome for posting this 💪
@@arry_potta thanks to you!
@@DommyBW ❤️❤️❤️
There is no point, but to enjoy this short time we are here.
Hi Dom, I don’t really know what to say as a way of trying to offer some sort of comfort (there probably isn’t anything) but thanks for this video. I won’t go into specifics as engaging in some sort of suffering olympics is of no use to anyone, but for various reasons I identify with a lot of what you’ve said recently. Specifically when you talk about feeling a lack of purpose and what you said on the stream on saturday about not being a “proper man” or still feeling somewhat like a child.
I guess I just want to say how much I admire you for uploading this video. For the most part vulnerability is chum in the water for assholes and this took a lot of courage, courage I wish I had.
@@gingetomassi8153 courage or foolishness. I’m yet to know: but if it helps anyone that’s good. Thanks for your support: hope you keep well
I live with depression too. A monotimus black hole, joy in nothing. If it's any help, you're not alone.
@@claire99ism thank you. It’s really boring isn’t it. Also exhausting
@@DommyBW It's certainly not easy.
hugs!
We underestimate the subconscious tension held in body and mind, and the only method to dispel this is relaxing body and mind through sitting meditation.
" i" am wasting my life" ....... Eckhart Tolle in his book The power of now describes his dark night of the soul which led to the statement " I can't live with myself anymore" This separation between the "I" and the myself was the pivotal element necessary for transformation. The true 'I' the "witness" must emerge for authentic relief and happiness
Thankyou for this dude.❤
3:44 “i feel dreadful and I can’t see any light anywhere” - without letting any pre-existing bias enter your mind, search up a video on the life of jesus or start reading the gospel of john. i didn’t realise i was searching for the light until it was too bright to ignore and now i finally feel sure that im living life the way i should be
As someone who also struggles with depression, I know there’s no quick fix and nothing you can say that really helps. It just fucking sucks.
But the sloppy joes podcast is some temporary relief for me, and apart from a cure that’s all you can really hope for. I really hope the clouds clear for you soon bud.
Time goes slower when you do new things. Go do new things, go solo traveling, go hike across the lake district, there's always something new to do. It's easier said than done but it's a good place to start. Good job making the video brother 💪
No advice this time but will look forward to your next videos regardless :) I mourned my drunk self. I didn’t realise at the time. Spent alot of first three months crying. And that’s ok for me. Hope you feel better soon I really do.
@@giatasha2181 I relate to that mourning my drunk self very much so
The visuals to your video are very cool, sorry to hear youre going through a hard time. Ive felt like that before for months on end when my health went down the toilet from drugs.
Probably the last thing hou wanna hear, and itll sound a bit wacky but Peter Attia does great podcasts on mitachondrial health 😅. When were depressed the source is often physical.
Hope it gets better!
Edit: just had a look at your other videos. Mate, youre going through annhedonia. This is completely normal.
@@Yeeyu77 feels like I’ve been going through it forever. But thank you I’ll have a listen!
Good to know about visuals. Was always curious how they came across
I'm your 500th sub. Keep it up brother
@@DannysRentBoys thank you so much. Never thought I’d get 500
You are grown up its the world mate I'm nearly 50 and I've had enough!
@@martd1352 pretty bleak out there
@DommyBW the world is on its last legs dom! It will carry on without us! Basically it's a numbers game at one time we were in small groups e.g villages and towns and without the social media. This meant that within these small communities we all once was someone within them due to the large numbers of concentrated people in huge societies like the Internet Facebook and so on we are now just one in a million instead of 1 in 10, 000. This makes everything x10 harder and more competitive. This leads to the survive at all costs and fuck the less than 5% who are popular, rich, loving and kind. It produces too many ambitious people who will do anything to succeed! Your not one of them people mate like me which puts us in this position. All I can say is stay your course your empathing the coming collapse of humanity which is terrible but unfortunately the larger population are being sucked down the drain like our solar system into the blackhole. We are nearing the point of the no return mark and you sir are not this is how you feel like this! It's normal it's them that aren't hence your not distracted and focus on the real world. You seem a good person we need more like you so what I'm saying is your one of the special human beings keep going! Martin
No,no,no dom,we allk get down,we all can feel fragile,im living with a stroke that happened 15 years ago,sadly we all can feel a little weak and pointless
I like you bro. I bet youre the kindest friendliest person in your inner circle. Stay off drink. You know what you need/should be doing. Just dont pressure yourself if youre not doing it. Accept that maybe you wont today its fine. Stack up small dubs and if youre not consistant fuck it. None of us are
Jesus heals and can and will heal you. I pray that he heals you very, very soon. I'm sending all my love and prayers.
I also feel like I'm wasting my life...and I have no answers. I try and rediscover motivation but the reality of it all, the stupid, pointless cruelty of life, of society in general, is overwhelming. My raison d'etre is to find the good stuff, the stuff worth living for, the moments that make me laugh, which remind me that if I was to end it, that I wouldn't be experiencing them, that I wouldn't be finding value in connecting with others of like minds.
@@tolkienfan10 I feel like this too
This is the least cringey thing I've seen you do, it's far too relatable. I think we're lonely. Scariest thing in the world. You'd make a girl out there very happy, you're super intelligent and super funny and really, really talented. Get on ALL the apps, find wifey. I hate giving advice but I can just picture and hear you talking very happily about a relationship one day in the future.
As a person just like you - I mean even in the looks department - I would recomend two channels to START do understand your situation. The channel "Aaron Clarey" and some of his books, and the channel "That Guy Pete You Refuse to Invite to Gatherings" (especially the old videos). Pete had problems with alcohol too.
Life today is difficult for almost all men; money, relationships, family, everything that matters it's becoming more difficult to achieve, unless you are the top 10% of the man today. But there's hope once you understand where we are you can construct something solid. You have time yet.
My best wishes.
Hang in there brother, we're all with you in mutual suffering. To live is to suffer, to survive is to find meaning in the suffering ✌🏾
@@thevoice246 indeedy. Thank you for your help x
Dom you’re a very intelligent and funny guy and you have a lovely soul. Please try not to forget that. I understand everything you are saying. I think we all feel this way on some level.
I know you didn’t want advice, but in my experience, having been through something very similar, I can say that the only thing that helps is regular physical exercise. This will sound very crude and you will resist believing this, but trust me, there are no substitutes for those natural endorphins and they will help you out. Please try to believe me.
It’s hard to hear you speak like this. We are all just smart chimps on a ball of rock hurtling round a massive ball of fire trying to figure this shit out. You are not alone in what you are thinking and you CAN overcome it brother 👊
I say the point is to get better than you were yesterday. Learn and improve. Talk to people, help people. There are many people who feel same or worse than you. That might just be your purpose. Keep looking.
The light is eternal and within you Dom
With the world in the state that it is we need more of this. I believe we are definitely going through a change for the better but it’s gonna be ruff getting there. Idk buddy just hang in there if this is a video game like simulation we’re living in we gotta at least drag our dick through the dirt to the end otherwise we might have to start over in a level that’s harder than this. Idk that’s something that keeps me pushing through. Keep up the good fight buddy.
Take some time out and rest. you shown real character making a video and open up like this is alway good to open up and get things of your chest. Head up and keep fighting.
Nothing to be embarrassed about. I experience the same feeling, that existential question, "what's the point?" And I've concluded that the point to existence, aside from the obvious one, propagation and the continuation of the species, is to experience life to its fullest but that the usual shite gets in the way of that. The problem here is intelligence. The blissfully ignorant don't ask these questions in their quiet moments. Their questions are more like "Gor, I wonder if yer one off Corrie/Eastenders/Emmerdale's tits are as big as they look on telly?" and of course, that old classic "If we were monkeys once then why are there still monkeys?" I can't say it gets any easier and you've probably come to the same conclusion. What I have found helps is interacting with like minds. You're not alone, mate!
@@tolkienfan10 the tits thing made me laugh thank you
@@DommyBW, laughing, that's the key, I've found. This is the moment when I do a Ricky Gervais and enact that cringemaking scene in The Office where he hosts that seminar and tells everyone there to start laughing and everyone there is wishing they were somewhere else. You'll get through this.
Hi Dom, well done for staying sober for a month, that shows progress in your life! If you feel comfortable, I know the Sloppy Joes and their Sloppers are always here for you 😁 we love you mate
Hey mate, where about in the UK are you based? I've spent my fair share of time feeling like you are now, so I know what it's like to be bombarded with advice and suggestions from every angle. If you're not a million miles away I'm more than happy to come find you and hang out for a bit though. A walk in the country, sit around and do nothing, vent all the stuff that isn't youtube friendly onto a stranger, whatever. 😅
@@djohnson9857 Manchester. That’s very kind!
@@DommyBW Ah man, I visited Manchester for the first time a few months ago for work, I loved it. I'm based in the south east but travel quite a bit for work. I'll give you a heads-up when I'm up that way again.
I'm a set builder in the film industry, it took me until I was 36 to find something that I was excited to get out of bed for in the morning, and then the strikes put us all out of work. Back to square one!
Someone told me I'm always trying to chase happiness, which is like doing coke. Always chasing a buzz that never satisfies like the first line, so you keep going and going. I try aim for contentment instead now, some days are harder than others! I hope you're having some better days by the time I make it up there, for you buddy, I'll be there either way. :)
We all get this way, I know I do as well. Put lord jesus in your life, he is the best cure for everything. Amen 🙏 God bless you.
Well Dom, sorry for your troubles. If you at all can, for now, seriously commit to 3 meals a day your granny would recognise (ie whole foods), a couple of pieces of fruit in between, and 30 mins of decent exercise per day. If it's walking, well and good. Do it for a month. Been there, done that. It can really help.
Ditto. I 100% agree. I suffer often from bouts of depression and like Dom says I know exercise helps, the problem with exercise is for it to be beneficial both physically and mentally is that it has to be something you enjoy... in my experience anyway. I walk often which I mostly enjoy but there are days when to motivate myself to go for a stroll is a real struggle. I've learnt over the years that an alternative, or reserve activity is a good tactic to have, after all doing something is better than doing nothing. So for my "off" days when I struggle to go for a walk I do my alternative activity to get my exercise and I always feel better afterwards. Always.
damn brother :S I feel you like for real. Life is hard, sometimes I wish I was never born. This world is fucked up, even more so now in this day and age after all the smartphones and social media people changed... Ifeel like stuck in life, everyday is the same, like groundhog day. I am 23 and I am pretty bored from life, I feel like is this is it to life? Dreading going to work coming back home just sitting on the computer, I mean I do go to the gym but there is no highlight to my life anymore. Been through tough break ups. Everytime I think it will work this time, it doesn't. Sometimes I drink or take drugs just to forget that I am bored asf. Got 3400 hours in a fcking card game I play everyday online called hearthstone. I don't know man. Just gotta keep going. One of the reasons why I Don't want children, is that I think this world is too fucked up to bring children into...
@@tunakiller72 share a lot of similar views. Sometimes life is very wonderful and unexpected things can happen. Those tiny moments are what I’m sticking around for. They are nice. I won’t give you any advice. But I have a strong feeling you’ll be alright and find your own way. Be patient. Much love
@@DommyBW thank you so much man
God Bless You
Oh, man. Depression. Nobody understands if they’ve never had it. I could do literally nothing. U can’t just “snap out of it”. I understand feeling dreadful. I did absolutely nothing but cry. I thought I’d never get better, but I did. And now I live in fear of it coming back. Do u have a doctor? Are you on meds. I had to go on them. They helped tremendously. And my heart aches for you, I really do. I hope u can get help. God Bless You.
@@almaconnor9171 thank you. I’ve had it since I was in my teens but it’s particularly bad this time as it feels like almost a real sickness, an illness I can’t shake. Makes it worse that you have to try and be normal but it’s almost impossible. I was on meds for 7 years but am apprehensive about going back on. Might have to really. Have some doctors appointments coming up. Thanks for your support x
@ oh, Dommy, I’m so sorry u have had to deal with this for so long. And absolutely YES, it actually feels like an illness. We really are sick. I didn’t want to go on the meds but I had no choice really. I wasn’t living. So I went on them and they worked. I’m still on them, almost 5 years now. And now I know that I will take them however long I need to. I hope you can see someone Dommy and you will seriously consider taking them. Please don’t let yourself suffer. I know it’s no way to live, so please, get help, please. I will pray for you. Be kind to yourself Dommy, you deserve it. I hope you come back and tell us how you are. People do care. I know I do. God Bless you Dommy.