Woman Helps Lover Escape Prison Then Reinvents Herself as a Luminary | Toby Dorr Case Analysis

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  • Опубликовано: 6 окт 2023
  • This video answers the question: Can I analyze case of Toby Dorr?
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    References:
    www.theatlantic.com/magazine/...
    www.today.com/news/essay/toby...
    www.basehorinfo.com/news/2006/...
    www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...
    www.scribd.com/read/579753625...

Комментарии • 675

  • @melcloud1212
    @melcloud1212 8 месяцев назад +464

    Take it from a knuckle dragging prison guard with 27 years in. He manipulated her. Pure and simple. Found her weaknesses, told her what she wanted to hear, and played her. Unfortunately she bought into it.

    • @hopesgirl9483
      @hopesgirl9483 8 месяцев назад +9

      Running game.

    • @cUser691
      @cUser691 8 месяцев назад

      Like those 2prisoners in NY [Dannemora] who manipulated married guard lady AND that Alabama lady guard helped felon escape then shot herself when cops gave chase later on.

    • @helpyourcattodrive
      @helpyourcattodrive 8 месяцев назад +27

      She was a fool.

    • @JB-ms9du
      @JB-ms9du 8 месяцев назад +5

      I was thinking the same thing

    • @anonymous35821
      @anonymous35821 8 месяцев назад +8

      Anatomy of a setup in action.

  • @LadyNiltiak1412
    @LadyNiltiak1412 8 месяцев назад +114

    My old dog came from her prison dog program. He was a good dog.

    • @mmersino7363
      @mmersino7363 8 месяцев назад +7

      Aw. Wow.

    • @carolnahigian9518
      @carolnahigian9518 8 месяцев назад +2

      Awwww( bow Wow).

    • @jcjcviews
      @jcjcviews 3 месяца назад

      ​@@mmersino7363About the "knuckle" comment above. Remind me not to go to prison. I wouldn't like the company.😢😢😢

    • @sherryzmezzo
      @sherryzmezzo 3 месяца назад

  • @willelliott5052
    @willelliott5052 8 месяцев назад +59

    So he flew into a rage with her soon after she had helped him to escape from prison ... you don't say?

  • @ItsKrma00
    @ItsKrma00 7 месяцев назад +36

    The most heartbreaking thing about this is when her dying son refused to let her hug him before he passed. What a horrible price she paid.

    • @Maxine1630
      @Maxine1630 Месяц назад +2

      Do you think he should have let her?

    • @johnrelford7961
      @johnrelford7961 23 дня назад +2

      Why are they treating her like a killer?

  • @debbiethompson14
    @debbiethompson14 7 месяцев назад +7

    27 MONTHS? They're still LETTING HER into prisonS? that's ridiculous. I tell you privilege IS a real thing

    • @PHlophe
      @PHlophe 23 дня назад

      Debbie, that is caucasian privileged maxxed . after helping someone escape, being on the run , high speed car chase and the police did not harm her.

    • @captainomoplata643
      @captainomoplata643 2 дня назад

      @@PHlopheplease 🙄 affirmative action wasn’t enough for you people? Yall are literally a protected and propped up class but yet you aren’t privileged? How can you be a victim and have all the advantages of a nanny state at the same time?

  • @helpyourcattodrive
    @helpyourcattodrive 8 месяцев назад +111

    Everybody’s gangster until Dr. Grande moves to his final thoughts …❤

  • @jenanne31
    @jenanne31 8 месяцев назад +109

    She paid an incredibly high price for her incredibly bad judgement. Women who think their love will save and reform a convict are only fooling themselves. Thanks for another thought-provoking video, Dr. Grande, dog-gone it.

    • @alexeysamokhin9629
      @alexeysamokhin9629 8 месяцев назад +2

      She was attracted to him BECAUSE he was a convict, not because she “settled” with someone sub-par with a plan for “transformation”.

  • @gabe-po9yi
    @gabe-po9yi 8 месяцев назад +25

    She was fortunate to have gotten caught before setting up housekeeping with him. Life wouldn’t have been pretty for her.

  • @missdemeanor3524
    @missdemeanor3524 8 месяцев назад +13

    Never ceases to amaze me how a person with a nice life decides a move to the ramshackle territory of Fuckedupsville is a good idea.

  • @mistrjt9213
    @mistrjt9213 7 месяцев назад +8

    How is she still allowed to work in the prison system after all that shenanigan??

  • @esteemedmortal5917
    @esteemedmortal5917 8 месяцев назад +80

    She lost a hell of a lot more than she gained. Fantasy can be powerful.

    • @zackbarkley7593
      @zackbarkley7593 8 месяцев назад +3

      A genuine human connection is more valuable than material loss. It seems Grande and most others in this chat cannot wrap their heads around the possibility that true love transcends such silly boundaries...perhaps because their measured "reasonable" lives make such love an impossibility, they like putting people in boxes, and they need to try and fill the empty hole in their hearts through voyeuristic fascination over what those having something theyre missing while smarmily deluding themselves that theyre better off playing it safe. Capitalism has successfully turned a lot of weak minded people into commodified zombies...but not all of us and not the best of us. At least these two tried something fun...a victimless crime...and probably lived more life in two days than you or I will in our entire lives. If anything, theyre just be punished officially and socially for holding a candle up to and embarrassing the enslavement/social caste system that our prisons artificially produce. I applaud them both for getting free of that even if but for a few days physically.

    • @esteemedmortal5917
      @esteemedmortal5917 8 месяцев назад +16

      @@zackbarkley7593what about the connections she had with her sons? Or siblings?
      As I said, fantasy is powerful. One of the most potent versions is ‘ideal love’

    • @yahnservices1978
      @yahnservices1978 8 месяцев назад +7

      @@zackbarkley7593 Let's get real, behind all the BS you just vomited you are a bad person making excuses for 2 other bad persons. True passion would be working hard to make her husband and sons happy.

    • @mrazik131
      @mrazik131 8 месяцев назад +5

      @@zackbarkley7593 married people ask for divorce. and then do the romance, people who are on the drug of love, brake rules and hurt family around them.

    • @alexandrabcastle
      @alexandrabcastle 8 месяцев назад

      @@zackbarkley7593agree

  • @jimjimgl3
    @jimjimgl3 7 месяцев назад +11

    If Toby and John had taken long walks in the woods outside the cabin, they could have picked ticks off each other.

  • @wizzardofpaws2420
    @wizzardofpaws2420 8 месяцев назад +25

    Prisoners will do anything to get someone on the outside. They will tell you they love you even though they don't. Don't be fooled.

  • @stephaniehansonfisher7406
    @stephaniehansonfisher7406 8 месяцев назад +27

    We got our dog from her a few months before she took off. He was a great dog! It’s like my worlds just collided…

    • @HeatherHolt
      @HeatherHolt 8 месяцев назад +6

      Wow that’s crazy

  • @ember1794
    @ember1794 8 месяцев назад +19

    "prison escape weight-loss program" 😂😅

  • @AxelordSMIJES
    @AxelordSMIJES 8 месяцев назад +53

    As a KC native, the most shocking part of this to me is that she would be willing to ingest TN style BBQ under any circumstances whatsoever. Unfathomable.

  • @helpyourcattodrive
    @helpyourcattodrive 8 месяцев назад +91

    I am going to listen to this for the third time. It’s sad. The imprisoned man seemed to be suffering from arrested development. And the lady was in a weakened state and the system allowed her to much leeway. Never trust criminals

    • @just-a-fella3212
      @just-a-fella3212 8 месяцев назад +26

      I spent several years doing contracted education programs in prisons and a short time on staff. I witnessed many female custodial staff, psychologists, and educators, gooey eyed over male prisoners. I found that affairs between female staff and male prisoners are quite common. Prisoners showed me their boxes of fan mail which they receive from women on the outside, and on visiting days women would que like groupies to visit male prisoners. I now believe that females should not be permitted to work in male prisons.

    • @larmondoflairallen4705
      @larmondoflairallen4705 8 месяцев назад +5

      I guess women can't be responsible for their actions

    • @pipermccool
      @pipermccool 8 месяцев назад +3

      “Arrested?” 😏

  • @peternovellie6409
    @peternovellie6409 8 месяцев назад +21

    Great point Dr Grande: "All affairs have the capacity to become dangerous" - even for someone who spent her entire life walking the straight and narrow.

  • @jamesb.9155
    @jamesb.9155 8 месяцев назад +20

    She was lucky she only got 27 months. He wasn't so lucky. Says a lot about his character that he grabbed the two guns when he got to her house. They both could have died in the high speed chase trying to elude the Federal Marshalls. All told, I guess they were lucky.

  • @pipermccool
    @pipermccool 8 месяцев назад +7

    Word is that they tried to track them, but the dogs all pleaded the Fourth.

  • @dicedrice7216
    @dicedrice7216 8 месяцев назад +29

    Sounds like a run-of-the-mill midlife crisis.
    Everything's fine, and then one day they wake up and realize they've been the same routine and the same rut for years.
    So they do something irrational because it's exciting.

    • @honestyisadyingvirtue
      @honestyisadyingvirtue 8 месяцев назад +1

      Then pick up skydiving. This wasn't irrational. This was selfish. Irrational is spending all your money in casinos. What she did was just plain dumb. Living out a fantasy that was born out of love for herself over everyone else, including her children.

    • @LDiamondz
      @LDiamondz 8 месяцев назад +2

      She was love bombed by an inmate and thought she was in love. She was infatuated. With only one relationship since high school, it got boring. That's typical, you work it out like adults. She should have just dyed her hair and bought a convertible. A nice red one.....😊

  • @sondragramse1770
    @sondragramse1770 8 месяцев назад +10

    Similar to the Vicky White /Casey White debacle.

  • @tripledair
    @tripledair 8 месяцев назад +60

    What you'd call an open Dorr policy.

    • @bonnietoups2446
      @bonnietoups2446 8 месяцев назад +7

      👍🤣🤣🤣

    • @cricketpie
      @cricketpie 8 месяцев назад +5

      @tripledair How perfectly Dr Grande-ish... 🙈🙊🙉

    • @tripledair
      @tripledair 8 месяцев назад +1

      @@cricketpie lol yup

    • @bthomson
      @bthomson 8 месяцев назад +2

      I see what you did there and like it!🚪🚪🚪

    • @MiiissAlexx
      @MiiissAlexx 8 месяцев назад +1

      Hahahahahahah 😂

  • @margaretlumley1648
    @margaretlumley1648 8 месяцев назад +48

    What a fascinating story! Yet again, showing us curious ways to completely mess up one's life! Thank you Dr Grande! ❤

  • @Cocobear7007
    @Cocobear7007 8 месяцев назад +104

    Dr Grande you are such a great storyteller. You provide all the details to make the story very interesting. That lady was naive.

    • @breakmylegs7294
      @breakmylegs7294 8 месяцев назад

      DR Grande is Queenie for Donald, he would like to be Trump's Sissy 🌈

  • @dubaiedge
    @dubaiedge 8 месяцев назад +56

    Aaaand this is why I let go of my idea of teaching in prisons. Too many stories like this. I'd be susceptible, even with all my knowledge of true crime, years of studying sociopathy, etc., & even at my advanced age. I could still get gotten to. There's a chance. So nah, I'll pass. Those prisoners can teach themselves 😅

    • @HeatherHolt
      @HeatherHolt 8 месяцев назад +6

      Everyone has a weakness. Even if we don’t know them. Inmates are so good at finding them and exploiting them.

    • @LDiamondz
      @LDiamondz 8 месяцев назад +9

      Very smart decision! Not many people know themselves as well as you do.

    • @Meela234
      @Meela234 8 месяцев назад +5

      I admire that you know your limits and possible weakness. Most people don't realize it until it's too late.

    • @Cbd_7ohm
      @Cbd_7ohm 8 месяцев назад +4

      It really speaks to women wanting a piece of shit instead of a good guy lol. Shit makes zero sense but ok haha.

    • @majakolonja4266
      @majakolonja4266 8 месяцев назад

      ​@@Cbd_7ohmIt does make sense.

  • @suzanneharris8339
    @suzanneharris8339 8 месяцев назад +7

    Toby is lucky to still be alive. 🤔

  • @pattywolford
    @pattywolford 8 месяцев назад +100

    There are several instances of women who fall "in love" with an inmate. The truth is....an inmate has all the time in the world to create romance with a vulnerable woman. Toby was not innocent, of course, but never dismiss the dedication of an inmate to seduce.

    • @pattywolford
      @pattywolford 8 месяцев назад +15

      @@Aqua-Fyre you are naive then.

    • @hopesgirl9483
      @hopesgirl9483 8 месяцев назад +3

      So true Patty.

    • @pattywolford
      @pattywolford 8 месяцев назад +11

      @@Aqua-Fyre eh, i had to look that up. Romance novels…must be your favorite genre. I don’t read such. Maybe you have an inmate boyfriend.

    • @pattywolford
      @pattywolford 8 месяцев назад +22

      @@Aqua-Fyre I don’t understand your continuing comments and insults. It’s very well documented how male inmates (and female, for that matter) expend tremendous time and energy seducing vulnerables. They have all the time n the world for it.

    • @wolfe6220
      @wolfe6220 8 месяцев назад

      ​@@Aqua-Fyre Is that why you are being a brat? You're still in the closet? Well, that's okay, I'm sure there's going to be a few inmates left over for you.

  • @BonnieLiedtka
    @BonnieLiedtka 8 месяцев назад +12

    They touched hands while pulling ticks, they had a tickling time lol
    Enjoyed your video

  • @helpyourcattodrive
    @helpyourcattodrive 8 месяцев назад +60

    Sometimes cancer weakens one’s reasoning capacity. Maybe that is part of this case. A lady I met who survived a bout with cancer said she experienced something she called brain fog, like a befogged mind, because of the cancer.

    • @danparish1344
      @danparish1344 8 месяцев назад +7

      I think chemo causes that too. Maybe it the drugs that did it and not the cancer.

    • @rogermoore27
      @rogermoore27 8 месяцев назад

      Come on man! You know women without cancer make stupid decisions in romance all the time. Don't blame the cancer or the chemo

    • @kathyflorcruz552
      @kathyflorcruz552 3 месяца назад

      More likely the toxic treatments did that to her.

  • @Jasonmakesvideo
    @Jasonmakesvideo 8 месяцев назад +11

    The puns never cease to bring me immense joy. Never change Dr Grande

  • @TS-rd7oy
    @TS-rd7oy 8 месяцев назад +37

    Why any woman would willingly put herself among males of this questionable character is beyond me.

    • @pipermccool
      @pipermccool 8 месяцев назад +5

      You should expand your horizons. 😉

    • @randomcomment6068
      @randomcomment6068 8 месяцев назад +4

      When you think you're a missionary and will change things.

    • @AkkisiandraDayton
      @AkkisiandraDayton 8 месяцев назад +2

      @@pipermccoolyou are desperate . That’s not expanding your horizon. That’s actually being a sad desperate woman. As a lawyer you are very sad and desperate . You can’t find anyone to date outside so you want to find someone who can’t go anywhere lol sad

    • @calmexit6483
      @calmexit6483 8 месяцев назад +2

      @@AkkisiandraDayton The sarcasm of piper's comment is lost on you.

    • @unlearnbusiness
      @unlearnbusiness 8 месяцев назад

      The Ikea effect. That's how some women get stuck with bad boys.

  • @elizabethwarman9028
    @elizabethwarman9028 8 месяцев назад +6

    Hi Dr Grande, good morning.
    Excellent analysis. As my Dad once said, "All inmates are conmen, don't fall for any of them!" He told me this as I become part of the Cerritos College Theatre Outreach to Prisons.

    • @neilreynolds3858
      @neilreynolds3858 3 месяца назад +1

      This is why daughters need fathers.

    • @JohnGlen502
      @JohnGlen502 2 месяца назад

      My sister got involved with a prisoner while in a dental hygienist program. She never told our dad! Thankfully he lost interest as soon as he got out.

  • @MrStringybark
    @MrStringybark 8 месяцев назад +31

    Toby had strong urges to adopt animals. I suspect her husband was her first adopted pet but then she found another pet that was even more in need of her special nurturing nature.
    I suspect every relationship she has will end up the same way. A thoroughly domesticated pet that doesn't appeal to her any longer.

    • @HeatherHolt
      @HeatherHolt 8 месяцев назад +11

      I find people who are obsessed with adopting dogs often need that unconditional loyalty a dog gives you. Bc they’re too stupid to know better.

    • @LDiamondz
      @LDiamondz 8 месяцев назад +10

      She clearly loved her husband at some point, they were married for 28 years! She's married again. I don't think many more relationships are in the cards for her. Maybe, after being married for so long, to a guy she met at 15 years old was a bit predictive, and boring. A lot of marriages that long, will struggle with this. You work on it, if you still love each other. Toby never did anything wrong in her entire life, was a good mom and wife. This prison guy probably love bombed someone who doesn't even know what the word means. She fell for it, and like a teenager, was head over heels in love, or so she thought. I'd argue she was infatuated, not in love. Dreamy, head in the clouds, love, like any teenager. Except she was a grown woman with responsibilities. She got in over her head and ruined her relationships with her kids and sisters. I think it was exciting, and something she never experienced before, to be in lust, really. I hope she learned her lesson and does well with her new husband. She was temporarily insane.

    • @SY-ok2dq
      @SY-ok2dq 8 месяцев назад +2

      ​@@HeatherHolt What? Dogs are not stupid. And it's not because they're "stupid" that they generally have this unconditional loyalty. This loyalty to the pack can be seen in wolves. Social bonds are paramount in the canine world. Just as humans need groups to survive and thrive, dogs need their groups, their packs. Humans displaced their natural dog leaders, and humans reinforced these traits through selective breeding. Dogs like huskies, dogs that must work and live in groups, are extremely sociable and form very strong bonds. Pulling a dog sled requires all the dogs ro work in unison. They must be able to work together and kind of "group think" and act together, and have extreme loyalty to each other and their human leader. So you can see the selective forces that act upon the breeding of successful huskies.

  • @joettekanter7699
    @joettekanter7699 8 месяцев назад +10

    Thank you for yet another informative video Dr. G! 😊
    My first thought in all of this was how lucky Toby was to only receive a 27 month sentence. She should be forever grateful to that Judge or Jury! Smuggling a phone in, smuggling a convicted murderer out, supplying him with weapons and ammunition, hmmm, that sounds like a least a 10 year sentence to me.
    She’s actually lucky they got caught when they did. Things could have ended much worse for her had he harmed her. Him losing his temper in the first few hours together was only the beginning of what was probably to come. In my opinion, he could have loved her, but I doubt it. She was a way for him to escape a life sentence, have money for food and lodging, and free sex until he put a plan into place of what to do next. A lot of inmates prey on lonely women and sadly they fall for it. I hope Toby learned a lesson through all this and continues to work on herself. ❤️

    • @souksmith4492
      @souksmith4492 8 месяцев назад

      I think 15 year in prison would be appropriate for her crime.

  • @TRamone01
    @TRamone01 8 месяцев назад +5

    Prison break, on the run, the danger, the excitement, the end.

  • @maiziebug
    @maiziebug 8 месяцев назад +9

    …At that time, she -I mean her last name- was young… Dr. Grande coming out swinging with the zesty shade 😂 0:33

  • @Flamsterette
    @Flamsterette 8 месяцев назад +12

    Thanks for the upload, Dr. Grande! Your true fans love your humour and sarcasm!

    • @susangriffith1482
      @susangriffith1482 8 месяцев назад +2

      Yeah. 🙂

    • @bthomson
      @bthomson 8 месяцев назад +2

      Also your rainbow shirts and curious cacti and puppies we only seem to see in commercials and a nice wife!

    • @Flamsterette
      @Flamsterette 8 месяцев назад

      @@bthomson I agree!

  • @WhatIsLife711
    @WhatIsLife711 8 месяцев назад +3

    She just got sick of doing everything right and following all the rules....

  • @jimcronin2043
    @jimcronin2043 8 месяцев назад +19

    A prison sentence of 27 months was far too little for her offense. It should have been at least double that. After all, she enabled a convicted murderer to escape prison.

    • @SY-ok2dq
      @SY-ok2dq 8 месяцев назад

      I was surprised at the sentence but remember, she was this nearly 50 yr old, extremely respectable type of mother and wife, pillar of the community type. No record, not even parking tickets most likely. No previous affairs. Very stable life. Very respectable and she probably comes across in person as very sweet, kind, helpful mother type. Realistically, she doesn't pose much of a risk to the community and U.S. prisons no doubt struggle with the burdens of too many inmates, and it costs the community money to house inmates.

    • @blahsomethingclever
      @blahsomethingclever 17 дней назад

      The guy did not take a life, that law is stupid. Like if you're with an uncomfortable group, just tagging along, they go totally out of bounds and you share full responsibility..
      Or if someone just loses it who was normal before. How'd you know?

  • @juliedaniels5594
    @juliedaniels5594 8 месяцев назад +36

    There’s always a reason for what they did, isn’t there? I was depressed, no one understood me, I was abused as a child, ect ect. Most people have problems from their childhood but most people grow up and never commit a crime

    • @alexeysamokhin9629
      @alexeysamokhin9629 8 месяцев назад +1

      Dr Grande clearly articulated reasoning: pursuing a purpose and seeking excitement.

  • @susanmann5286
    @susanmann5286 8 месяцев назад +4

    I used to work in a medium security male prison. I was assigned as a "counselor" to 100 inmates. One inmate soon asked me ,"How we could be together?" This was after I naively told me he could schedule appointments with me when he needed to. When I looked at his record I learned he had killed someone by hitting them over the head with a board.

    • @PHlophe
      @PHlophe 23 дня назад

      Susanne, i guess he caught you off guard. Good looks make people look nicer than they are.

  • @tpbrcombo
    @tpbrcombo 8 месяцев назад +2

    And they called it puppy love.

  • @thelocalmaladroit8873
    @thelocalmaladroit8873 8 месяцев назад +24

    I just feel sorry for the dogs!

  • @bravepoodle
    @bravepoodle 8 месяцев назад +6

    Dr. Grande, watching wild animal documentaries in 3D theater is so exciting and refreshing, totally recommend to anyone.

  • @sooffiiaaaa
    @sooffiiaaaa 8 месяцев назад +57

    I feel bad for her family, but to not forgive your mother and tell her to leave when you are dying of cancer... wow, heartbreaking :(

    • @stephenwest6738
      @stephenwest6738 8 месяцев назад

      I understand that she hurt their father, but if you turn your back on the woman that gave birth to you, and then raised you, then maybe you deserve to die of cancer.

    • @just-a-fella3212
      @just-a-fella3212 8 месяцев назад +13

      A wife and mother left her family to run away with a murderer whom she broke out of jail... _That_ is heartbreaking.

    • @marshaloiscamillephilpotts6406
      @marshaloiscamillephilpotts6406 8 месяцев назад +1

      ​@@just-a-fella3212I totally agree what she did was more heartbreaking.

  • @sylviaross5722
    @sylviaross5722 8 месяцев назад +7

    A "ticking" time bomb.😆😅🤣😂Stop it. You're killing me with your puns.

  • @piltg8568
    @piltg8568 8 месяцев назад +2

    Invented a prison escape weight loss program … that was a slick one doc

  • @missyskye_sea_land9424
    @missyskye_sea_land9424 8 месяцев назад +6

    It feels like this case is the deepest human emotions Dr. Grande discussed with us. Thank you, Dr. Grande, all the way from Korea at the moment (one I couldn’t stay away while I’ve been away from home for a month😸🐶)

  • @mudlark4099
    @mudlark4099 8 месяцев назад +12

    The one and only problem with Dr. Grandes' superb content is it's criminally low volume! Raise that voice up loud and proud, we love you!

    • @bunnymad5049
      @bunnymad5049 8 месяцев назад +1

      It's fine for me. Maybe it's something in your settings? xx

    • @mudlark4099
      @mudlark4099 8 месяцев назад

      @@bunnymad5049 Yes this is possible. 🙀

    • @philiprandall473
      @philiprandall473 8 месяцев назад +1

      Actually I thought this time it was lower volume than normal

    • @bunnymad5049
      @bunnymad5049 8 месяцев назад

      @@philiprandall473 Huh. Odd. Although, I'm not well at present and have a throat and ear infection, so my volume is up more than normal. Maybe that's why I'm not detecting it.

  • @mimim6955
    @mimim6955 8 месяцев назад +17

    Thank you Dr Grande for your videos, I always look forward everyday to your humour and seeing the cracks making the sad tales secondary.

  • @rheverend
    @rheverend 8 месяцев назад +130

    Amazed at how selfish a mother and wife could be. She gave up her marriage and her kids for sex with an inmate. Now she gets to live with the knowledge that one of her sons died, choosing to never forgive her and that the other still won’t speak to her either. I don’t blame either of them. She is a POS, as is anyone who blows up their life without a thought of who they will hurt

    • @sylviaross5722
      @sylviaross5722 8 месяцев назад +22

      I know, I was thinking the same thing. Your children should come first, no matter what. I was never able to have children, & it really gets to me when your selfish wants & needs come before your own children. She wrecked her whole family by her actions.

    • @HeatherHolt
      @HeatherHolt 8 месяцев назад +9

      @@sylviaross5722it always breaks my heart when someone can’t have kids and wanted them, when so many people have kids and don’t want or love them. I recently had a kid at 36 after being told my whole adult life I’d never have kids by multiple drs and then magically it happened. And I can’t ever ever ever imagine not always putting my daughter first. Above myself above her father, she is my world and I would never put anyone especially some man, some inmate, a helper in a murder!, above her. That lady’s a true narcissist. You sound like you would have been a good parent ❤

    • @Dhruv_Dogra
      @Dhruv_Dogra 8 месяцев назад +2

      ​@@HeatherHoltYes. It's obvious she would have raised some good kids!

    • @magovenor
      @magovenor 8 месяцев назад +13

      Obviously you don’t understand the natural attraction between males and females. When married couples hit a patch in their relationship, and they begin to spend a significant amount of time in the company of the opposite sex, especially if they spend time closely, these things happen. The fault falls on poor communication and ignorance.

    • @ciaramcwilliams5291
      @ciaramcwilliams5291 8 месяцев назад +14

      Ummm can we talk about how these criminals are really good manipulators and can really spot a vulnerable person and convince them to do shit they would never do

  • @debbiebowles7001
    @debbiebowles7001 8 месяцев назад +38

    The analysis was wonderful but I feel disappointed knowing John missed the shark documentary. Life couldn't ever be the same with such a missed opportunity. This will be made worse if that documentary is never televised to prison.

    • @chris55529
      @chris55529 8 месяцев назад +1

      Speaking of sharks, don't watch the Egypt incident. The better part of me wishes I'd never seen it.

    • @michaelgreer9023
      @michaelgreer9023 8 месяцев назад +2

      I share your concern about the shark documentary 👍

    • @iangallager4091
      @iangallager4091 8 месяцев назад +3

      the extra ten years would have been bearable if only John had been able to watch the sharks for even thirty minutes!

    • @bubbabroad9051
      @bubbabroad9051 8 месяцев назад +1

      Ha ha
      It makes me think, they didn’t think much about the other side once they got him out. So what do we do now

  • @ember1794
    @ember1794 8 месяцев назад +15

    I wish she would have thought of her dogs if she wouldn't think of her family or herself before falling for this criminal slime-ball 😢

  • @Akron162
    @Akron162 8 месяцев назад +32

    I've seen this pattern a bunch of times: someone commits some horribly fucked up action, get caught, get punished, and then come out pretending they had an epiphany, and now they get to preach and "help others". As if having acted like a selfish, unscrupulous asshole gives them some kind of special power. They get to recontextualize their crimes as an important stepping stone for them to be able to save the world or some shit. In my opinion, that's just a different manifestation of their narcissism and entitlement. "I can't feel special by being a criminal asshole anymore, so now I'm feeling special by pretending I have wisdom to share".

    • @troy3456789
      @troy3456789 8 месяцев назад +6

      I chuckled.That was harsh, but enjoyably harsh.

    • @amirahaidary4187
      @amirahaidary4187 8 месяцев назад +1

      It’s probably case by case whether people going through this pattern have really evolved or not. People can and do transform, grow, change, have epiphanies, gain wisdom and then help others to not make the same stupid mistakes they made. Toby was already trying previously to help others with her dog program, she wasn’t someone you can reduce to just being a narcissist. She had a compassionate side but went about getting her needs met in stupid immature ways. I don’t know for sure but maybe her criminal acts and the pain that brought helped her to grow up and maybe she really did help women after that. Is she helping others just for her ego’s sake? I don’t know but I doubt it.

    • @corinnabuck-lachenmann54
      @corinnabuck-lachenmann54 8 месяцев назад +1

      ​@@amirahaidary4187Hi, thanks for your comment. I think one can look at Tobys story with "a soft look" or "a hard look". I prefer the first. Take care, Corinna

    • @wsidechris
      @wsidechris 8 месяцев назад +2

      It does work. Just today I regrettably stumbled upon a Quora post written by a guy boasting about his life after 27 years in prison. The comments thread made me sick, there were a few thousand upvotes and countless comments about him being a "role model", "hero", "inspiration", etc. It was unbelievable. I was one of the only few people to leave comments that fell in the "WTF is going on here" camp.

    • @izzo2998
      @izzo2998 7 месяцев назад

      Lmao. Nice. Yes it's absolutely another form of their narcissism.

  • @helpyourcattodrive
    @helpyourcattodrive 8 месяцев назад +28

    She played stupid games and won stupid prizes. She forgot to place herself first, second and third in her own life.

    • @DennisNeijmeijer
      @DennisNeijmeijer 8 месяцев назад +2

      I think she put herself first in all of this. No consideration for others, just personal gratification.

    • @Meela234
      @Meela234 8 месяцев назад +1

      Seems to me, she placed herself first and her inmate second. Her husband and children crossed her finish line of importance long after she did. She paid for it by losing the most important relationships a person can have.

    • @nope66755
      @nope66755 8 месяцев назад +1

      She placed herself first, the prisoner second, and her family third

    • @th3unmaker
      @th3unmaker 8 месяцев назад

      You sound like you have some narcissistic traits to overcome. Placing oneself first is usually the problem, not the solution.

  • @elizabethhamm5320
    @elizabethhamm5320 8 месяцев назад +20

    Most women who are in prison have made bad decisions when it comes to men. I hope that Toby did help some of her female inmates. She lost a life that she spent 3 decades building along with years of her freedom. Hopefully it wasn’t all in vain

    • @mangore623
      @mangore623 8 месяцев назад +3

      Huh? All women who are in prison have made bad decisions. It’s called human agency, and when you choose to screw-up in life, it’s no one’s fault but your own.

    • @yahnservices1978
      @yahnservices1978 8 месяцев назад +1

      Evil women making excuses for other evil women, purely disgusting.
      I'm glad that poor boy didn't forgive the witch.

    • @elizabethhamm5320
      @elizabethhamm5320 8 месяцев назад +2

      My point was not to suggest diminished culpability. My point was that hopefully she gained insight and helped share it with others. Inmates have successfully counseled other inmates.

    • @pipermccool
      @pipermccool 8 месяцев назад

      Hopefully the guy had some mad skills. 😏

    • @aisoconcranberriesu2as
      @aisoconcranberriesu2as 3 месяца назад

      And lost her kids

  • @ishyandmikkischannel8811
    @ishyandmikkischannel8811 8 месяцев назад +8

    So many comments below feeling sorry for Toby who left her children for sex and an affair. So she created a false narrative about her marriage. Dr Grande is spot on. He calls the nonsensical rationalisations to justify such behaviour as excuses.

    • @LDiamondz
      @LDiamondz 8 месяцев назад +1

      People have affairs evert day. She should have found somebody on the outside. A divorce, her family would understand, eventually. A killer inmate on the downlow? Not so much. 😮

  • @_knife.prty_
    @_knife.prty_ 8 месяцев назад +6

    Why would she think this would work? 😩😂

  • @silent_day
    @silent_day 8 месяцев назад +10

    It’s strange… Toby tends to jump into things fully. She lives by a very all-or-nothing type of existence. One boyfriend? 20 year marriage. Watched a show about dogs (during a difficult time)? Successful business owner of a similar theme. Tired of husband? He sucks and has no redeeming qualities. Falls for someone? Commits crimes to be with them. In women’s prison? Launches into a career about women in prison.
    She seems to be extremely inconsistent and finds passion in something, but will instantly push it away when something else catches her eye. I can understand why people got tired of her or found her to be toxic. She has a very self involved way of being.

    • @izzo2998
      @izzo2998 7 месяцев назад +3

      Yep. She gets bored easily and tosses humans away like trash.

  • @GeorgiaJakes7
    @GeorgiaJakes7 8 месяцев назад +5

    Everyone used her starting at age 5.

    • @PFlaw317
      @PFlaw317 8 месяцев назад +1

      Life is hard - not worth mentioning unless to excuse her devious actions

  • @greenbrain8725
    @greenbrain8725 8 месяцев назад +2

    Toby could be considered a “gem”. Her unusual drive and ability to think outside the box led her to commit to the dog program and its huge demands on her creativity and commitment. People like her are a rare thing in society, and when these people do good, it benefits all.
    It’s unfortunate that her drive and personality also led to an act of utter foolishnes. She walks to the beat of her own drum.

  • @chicadeayer3077
    @chicadeayer3077 8 месяцев назад +4

    Good evening Dr Grande. Have a great weekend.

  • @miraclenichols4332
    @miraclenichols4332 8 месяцев назад +5

    The prison/dog part is a great idea- the prisoner/escape part probably isn’t as good - but it’s not that much different than an Office type affair- except he was probably really exciting 4 her- I can see the excitement in the situation, going through with it does blow my mind- sad for her family-- interesting episode

  • @MarioDSLife
    @MarioDSLife 4 месяца назад +3

    They didn’t hurt anyone until the chase and honestly the time they spend immediately after escape is quite wholesome.

  • @kelliearnold8498
    @kelliearnold8498 8 месяцев назад +17

    This is truly heartbreaking how she forsake her own kids for a inmate! Great Job Dr.Grande!!!!

    • @messrsandersonco5985
      @messrsandersonco5985 8 месяцев назад +2

      *forsook

    • @carpediem4512
      @carpediem4512 8 месяцев назад +1

      Fellas, if you’re ever in a jam, just find a gullible woman. It works a charm.

    • @kelliearnold8498
      @kelliearnold8498 8 месяцев назад

      @@messrsandersonco5985 thank you

  • @glendasully
    @glendasully 8 месяцев назад +3

    Another great video!

  • @bravepoodle
    @bravepoodle 8 месяцев назад +9

    I feel awful for Greg, how very sad his last days were. And what about the pup John adopted in prison, he abandoned them in order to escape?? I hope this case didn't ruin the credibility of dog/cat adoption program in prison. It's at very least, saving some of precious animals who desperately need home.

    • @dixiedawnmillergoode6850
      @dixiedawnmillergoode6850 8 месяцев назад +5

      In April I adopted a German Shepherd/ Malamute dog from Prison Paws Partnership. It’s at Pelican Bay State Prison. So at least some places still have that program

    • @bravepoodle
      @bravepoodle 8 месяцев назад +3

      @@dixiedawnmillergoode6850 I love both GSDs and Malamutes! Your pup must be beautiful and extremely lucky to have you. If I were to get to adopt a pup or a kitty, Id be very grateful to the person who raised them, even if they were an inmate in prison. Thank you for telling me great little news. ☺️❤️

    • @wolfe6220
      @wolfe6220 8 месяцев назад +2

      ​@@dixiedawnmillergoode6850Yikes! Pelican Bay is one of the most violent prisons out there. I'm surprised they would have the dog training program there ...

    • @dixiedawnmillergoode6850
      @dixiedawnmillergoode6850 8 месяцев назад +2

      @@wolfe6220 they have done seven rounds I think, with about six dogs in each round. It’s a teamwork program with the local animal shelter.

  • @rullvox5912
    @rullvox5912 8 месяцев назад +11

    Well, at least she wasn't as bad as that female prison guard Vicky White, who helped that violent murderer, Casey White [no relation] escape.

    • @PFlaw317
      @PFlaw317 8 месяцев назад

      Don’t see much of a difference - Toby was actually married with kids

    • @bluecollarlit
      @bluecollarlit 7 месяцев назад

      There! I was trying to remember the names in that one!
      This video story is SO similar, only the White one didn't have dogs.

  • @MEL2theJ
    @MEL2theJ 8 месяцев назад +3

    Always interesting content 👍
    Thank you again Dr. Grande

  • @margin606
    @margin606 8 месяцев назад

    That is surely the best yet analysis - elucidating issues that may well touch the lives of most of us

  • @melany.muraour
    @melany.muraour 8 месяцев назад +1

    Prison escape weight loss program!!! Omg you crack me up!!!

  • @roverdover4449
    @roverdover4449 8 месяцев назад +3

    The woman brings dogs for the prisoners to play with, and one prisoner attacked her ?!? I mean, I know there are some crazy people in prison, but who would attack the lady bringing dogs. That's just low.

  • @brihaver1951
    @brihaver1951 8 месяцев назад +1

    Excellent analysis. Have a good weekend. Dr G ❤️

  • @Maxine1630
    @Maxine1630 Месяц назад

    This lady was not manipulated, conned, nor bamboozled, she did exactly what she wanted to do! The price she paid is call consequences!

  • @jasmincampbell8105
    @jasmincampbell8105 8 месяцев назад +2

    Your analysis of Toby is spot on‼️

  • @georgeoh-well8116
    @georgeoh-well8116 8 месяцев назад +7

    Today's question is: Can I analyze what Dr Grande is doing with his hands in this video?
    Just a reminder. I am not diagnosing anybody with these comments, only speculating about what could be happening in a situation like this.
    1. He is completing a jigsaw puzzle.
    2. He is grooming a long haired cat.
    3. He is folding clothes.
    4. He is making origami.

    • @iangallager4091
      @iangallager4091 8 месяцев назад

      definitely the cat!!

    • @HeatherHolt
      @HeatherHolt 8 месяцев назад

      Grooming a long haired cat LOL

    • @LDiamondz
      @LDiamondz 8 месяцев назад +1

      5. Making hand gestures pretending he's the Fonz. 👉 "Aayyy."

  • @sararobertson1872
    @sararobertson1872 8 месяцев назад +1

    Awesome analysis ❤

  • @AnastasiaFafo
    @AnastasiaFafo 8 месяцев назад +3

    Very interesting! Thank you, Dr.grande!

  • @beautifulsunset4071
    @beautifulsunset4071 8 месяцев назад +4

    This is an interesting case. The thing that stood out to me was... How did the police track a cell phone they didnt know John had? If they knew he had it, they would have taken it away. Was it one of the phones on Toby's service provider (this would be dumb buuuut 🤷‍♀️), was it a prepaid burner phone (smarter) and they connected it to her by who pre-paid it? Or did they figure it out once he was missing and they caught on that she might be involved and the husband mentioned the text he found that was a "wrong number" and the police got ahold of that text thread somehow? Idk but it's bugging me. 😅😂

  • @DressedForDrowning
    @DressedForDrowning 6 месяцев назад

    Wow, this explanation is very profound. Thank you, Dr. Todd.

  • @juliet.echo.m
    @juliet.echo.m 8 месяцев назад +1

    “Today’s question is…” absolutely love when I hear this! I know an awesome video/case deception is to follow. Thank you, #DrGrande.

  • @missionman1914
    @missionman1914 8 месяцев назад +9

    How she only get 26 months .....that's some bullshit.

    • @holocene2164
      @holocene2164 8 месяцев назад +6

      I disagree. I think her sentence is appropriate given the fact that she didn't hurt someone and that she does not represent a danger to society.

    • @nobblkpraetorian5623
      @nobblkpraetorian5623 8 месяцев назад +4

      She was a danger to society when she released a murderer from prison. And now since she's still in close contact with prisoners there's no telling when she'll do it again.

    • @missionman1914
      @missionman1914 8 месяцев назад +4

      @@holocene2164 that inmate she helped escape could have murdered her. That same inmate could have gone on a crime spree... the possibilities are infinite what could have happened due to this woman's actions

    • @missionman1914
      @missionman1914 8 месяцев назад

      @@RepresentWV her actions and this court ruling has set precedent that anyone can help inmates escape from prison and when they're finally captured by police. The court will give them a "slap on the wrist" 26 month sentence.

  • @m.f.richardson1602
    @m.f.richardson1602 8 месяцев назад +2

    Always interesting
    Thank you
    Peace

  • @pembrokelove
    @pembrokelove 8 месяцев назад

    Daaaaaamn Dr. Grande. You cold.

  • @grizzlybizz7305
    @grizzlybizz7305 8 месяцев назад +2

    Isn't that why the Bible calls them silly women led away in their own sins . . .
    That's why women in power is a sign of the end of society.

  • @bunnymad5049
    @bunnymad5049 8 месяцев назад +4

    I just looked at her website. Everything is about her being a victim and overcoming things and almost glorifying what she did ... still. She says that when it comes down to it, nothing matters but love. Loving yourself. Umm, no. Good grief, Dr G. Like you said - rationalising everything.

    • @karenfisher4170
      @karenfisher4170 8 месяцев назад +1

      🤦🏼‍♀️

    • @vikameow
      @vikameow 8 месяцев назад

      some people will do anything but recognize they made a mistake

    • @bunnymad5049
      @bunnymad5049 8 месяцев назад

      @@vikameow yup.

  • @QJones-tn5yg
    @QJones-tn5yg 8 месяцев назад

    Genius assessment of the prisons they were both in

  • @queenie.lawyergirl.pittymom
    @queenie.lawyergirl.pittymom 7 месяцев назад

    Dr. Grande is a boss 🙌

  • @coolcatrich
    @coolcatrich 8 месяцев назад +1

    She should have recieved the same sentence he did! They were working in concert! He got life in prison for working in concert when someone died due to the robbery he helped commit. He didnt pull the trigger and yet got the same sentence as the other man. These two committed the same crime together, and were working in concert, obviously they should have gotten the same sentence. Men and women are treated completely different in the court systems. If you commit a crime together, you deserve the same sentencing. Gross. 27 months for putting a gun into a felons hand and breaking him out of prison. 27 months is nothing. She should have gotten 10 years like he did.

  • @user-lf9og2sr6n
    @user-lf9og2sr6n 8 месяцев назад +1

    ❤Thank you!❤Great Lesson❤❤❤🎉

  • @susanross1651
    @susanross1651 8 месяцев назад +13

    I accept that marriages can break down, people leave their marriage partners for many reasons, but to do it for a convicted killer wether they pulled the trigger or not is unbelievable. These women are so pathetic that they actually believe these devious men love them, but then they immediately come up with an escape plan.
    She was a very stupid woman, but then she may just have been desperate for love. I had a husband who treat me like I was invisible, I often considered leaving but never had the courage, so after 20 years he actually left me for another woman, so maybe I was stupid too. One thing I do know, I would never have run off with a violent criminal & left my family behind without a thought.

    • @LDiamondz
      @LDiamondz 8 месяцев назад +5

      There a lot of devious men (and women) on the outside, too. You still have to be careful out there!

    • @susanross1651
      @susanross1651 8 месяцев назад +2

      @@LDiamondz that is very true, but the chance is much more likely with armed robbers & murders serving long sentences.

    • @yahnservices1978
      @yahnservices1978 8 месяцев назад +2

      She was clrealy not stupid, just very evil.

    • @WhitLin31
      @WhitLin31 8 месяцев назад +2

      ​@@yahnservices1978boy you are really under every comment calling her an evil witch who should burn in hell 😂 we get it! Go read your Bible

    • @magallanesagustin4952
      @magallanesagustin4952 8 месяцев назад

      @@WhitLin31 I'm an atheist and I agree that she's evil.

  • @MDWD
    @MDWD 8 месяцев назад +2

    Price that's what you are. You always make me laugh when I need it. Txs Dr.Grande

    • @bthomson
      @bthomson 8 месяцев назад +2

      Maybe priceLESS!

    • @MDWD
      @MDWD 8 месяцев назад +1

      I know I was in a hurry. Lol

  • @jlemaire9418
    @jlemaire9418 7 месяцев назад

    You got Grande staying-power.
    I still love this show.

  • @augustineramos_
    @augustineramos_ Месяц назад

    One of the best asmr channels on RUclips

  • @aliassmithandjones9453
    @aliassmithandjones9453 6 месяцев назад +2

    did the prison guards who failed to search Toby's van lose their jobs?

  • @RoseNZieg
    @RoseNZieg 8 месяцев назад +10

    I am greatly reminded of the most recent case but unfortunately the woman died. I am convinced the prisoner killed her.

    • @wolfe6220
      @wolfe6220 8 месяцев назад +5

      You mean the blond CO? Yeah, you'd think they'd learn, since they see how prisoners operate.

  • @denniswrobleski4439
    @denniswrobleski4439 8 месяцев назад +3

    These kind of stories crack me up. You suposed to let your wild side out when your young then settle down once your older. Those who are forced to suppress themselves at a young age then marry early in thier lives have a tendancy to go off sometime in thier middle age. This was a extreme midlife crisis that cost her greatly. Party hard while you are young so you never get to the point in life that you feel missed out on shit and do something stupid. If she experienced some wild sex followed by heart break a few times she may have been content with her stable marriage and family later in life.

  • @mistrjt9213
    @mistrjt9213 7 месяцев назад +1

    5:30 Mrs. Doubtfire got the last laugh

  • @lisasmith7
    @lisasmith7 8 месяцев назад

    This is in my neck of the woods. I absolutely remember.