Again, so many people need to hear this message from someone in your community. We, as a society, just don't get this from anyone who is disabled. It just gives us a chance to grow and realize a giant failure in how we perceive individuals who are disabled. Possibly the right person hearing this will treat someone they meet differently just because they heard your words. That's powerful. Keep it up, man, and thank you.
I'm glad youtube recommended this video, because as a fellow disabled dude, you've echoed a lot of similar thoughts I've had, and it's nice to hear someone else recognize the tough reality that disabled people have to face, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. I've never had issues making friends, but like you said, first impressions are so important, and if there isn't an initial attraction, chances are the romantic aspect of a relationship will never develop further.
Thank you man. I actually have been with someone before but she was very ashamed of me and it never went past s-x. Best wishes to you and I hope you enjoy the channel.
I am an incel pretty much, I have always known deep down that I never really had a chance with women, but it's becoming more and more cemented, my problem I guess is that I don't really know how to spend the rest of my life. I feel so trash, I am not particularly smart, not attractive, lazy, don't really have much going for me, like I kinda question why I am even alive. I just work, get money, and just exist. Is there any happiness? Is there any fun? Even when I do go out to try and have fun I feel bad. I am 30 (and I look WAY older than 30 because that's part of my ugliness) and people look at you weird and treat you weird when you are an older man who is single and you aren't working (even in my teens I looked OLD so I always got treated like a grown man)............. I just honestly don't feel right going out and doing things I feel bad. I have this coworker who is like the only guy I KINDA talk to besides my mom lol. He invited me to a baseball game and it was kinda fun, but I felt out of place, two grown dudes watching baseball idk I just felt like I should be doing something I guess. I don't really like video games that much anymore. I just don't know what I am supposed to do. I feel like if I am not working then I am just "existing" and waiting to die, but I am too lazy to get a better job and most of the careers I look at seem trash. I will never be smart enough to do the COOL shit or the fun work. I will probably do menial work until I eventually die. I don't fit in with ANYONE, the only people I feel comfortable talking too are "undesirables" they are the only people that are close to being like me and they are the only people I feel kinship with, but the problem is that usually us "undesirables" tend to have a lot of mental issues usually because we were bullied a lot or we put up defensive walls, or we straight up are neurodivergent. There is no point in me doing anything because there are millions of other people that already can do it better. I have thought about getting a cabin and being a hermit in the woods but idk, if I buy a sailboat and spend the rest of my life sailing that still feels like just wasting time. IDK. I am honestly fine with never being with a woman, it's bitter, but that's just reality, at this point I don't really even like women anymore, if I ever wanted to experience "love" it would've been when I was young and dumb and still thought it could exist. The time has passed. I just don't know what to do. You seem like a very strong man, I wish you well on your journey, I will look more at your videos and see what you do, maybe there is a path for me there.
You have my complete empathy, dude. I'm in a similar position to you. I'm smart but I can't work because the government will take away my necessary insurance. And it seems like you're ahead of me because you don't really have that much resentment-that's good. And thank you man. I do hope my videos do allow you to find some sort of path.
Mate, have you thought about software development? You don't have to be smart to start learning it. There are many courses online. I highly recommend paid courses (specifically bootcamps) because they are structured and teach you the bare basics from the ground up. You don't need a degree/uni/college. When applying for these jobs, side projects always trump degrees as it shows you have initiative to build in your spare time. It's a fun profession, you get to build applications and in your spare time, build your own applications for fun, or even game development! Anyway, worth a shot letting you know just in case.
Creating stuff might be cool for you. I get bad anxiety and meaningless vibes. Im trying to find spirit in things and in the day to day. Perhaps we all so fixated on other humans liking us. Plants and animals are pretty cool as far as they don't care much about status and looks. Taking care of other things can be rewarding sometimes for sure.... Hopefully I don't sound trite. Some how we just keep going.. feeling existential anxiety in a world gone mad with meaning! I'm looking for a farming community myself.. they are around , not enough but they there. Hopefully I'll find one to fit in. Good luck pal. Don't loose heart! Self compassion is hard but take it when you can... Try to slow it down even 😊
I'm in a relationship and yet I still kind of know what this feels like. The search for meaning is always really tough, especially in the modern world. There isn't any advice I could give, but I wanted to say something because your comment really hit me deep here. Just getting over the idea that women and companionship just not being in the cards is a tough pill to swallow, and I wish you the best in being able to handle that reality. Always look for anything you can to give yourself moments of meaning and fulfillment. In reality everything is kind of fleeting for everyone. So maybe there could be some solace in understanding it's definitely a common issue idk.
Personally I believe, without any negative, not to try to find love in this scenario because it will only hurt, just accepting that its impossible is the only real rescue in this situation, not feeding by absurd hope, the comment like “you will find someone” don’t make any sense, just accept the different set of basic facts and concentrate on different stuff where the physical traits doesn’t play a role or play less. The enormous capacities of human mind can create the unimaginable in sphere where physical touch is not involved.
Damn, this was a really eye opening video. I love your vids, and I love how you keep it real. Head up king! You may feel ugly on the outside, but your an extremely bright and beautiful young man
Gabe. You rock brother. You have a very humble and truthful way about you. I want to simply state that there is ALWAYS someone for everyone. Just difficult to find em. You're strong. Don't give up.
I don't think you are unattractive some of our issues are just more visible than others. But even if we can hide them they always come out. Feels like I'm in a cage inside my own mind. Can't imagine what your cage feels like. It all gets so tiring though.
I mean sometimes I have a literal cage. The bed that I sleep in has two metal bars so I don't spasm off the side and like it literally feels like a jail cell sometimes hahaha.
I agree, Gabe. Some aspects of ourselves make us "undesirable" to a degree. In my case, it was acne, it still followed me to my adulthood and to this day there is a pimple here and there. Not to mention the scars that were left on my face. In your case, I would say that perhaps you do not need to fool yourself and as you say it "get your hopes up". Maybe you only need to look deeper for that person. It might be harder but the world is quite big. Just imagine how many people you will not ever get to know because you do not share the same language. That is why I am learning Japanese lol. I would have not been able to reach quality content as yours, raw, well presented, well educated, had I not learned English as a second language.
I’m very new to your channel but I’m hearing your story and believe me, I wanna know more. I wanna watch your videos and hear more about what you think. Everything you have to say in this video is so fucking real. I really can’t imagine navigating through life having a physical disability that signals me as different from other people in the world. The think I admire is your ability to take in the raw truth and just come to terms with it. Fuck…. And what you said about your childhood friends having some of the only people to get a glance at your true self… it’s an unfortunate truth. I’m glad your sharing your thoughts because you’re a smart dude and you are able to just run with reality
Thanks, that's the goal. I just think that sometimes the disabled community is too focused on getting others to accept them rather than just telling it as it is sometimes. I'm not trying to be an inspiration,.I'm not trying to be with other able-bodied people want me to be-I'm just trying to be me.
Yeah man keep on going! I would really love to see you explore more topics about Latino heritage and the ideas that get perpetuated, kind of like your video about hair. It’s rare to find that kind of commentary these days
Im a disabled girl and i used to hate my disability and people with disabilities ive learned to accept it i actually feel more comfortable dating someone who also has a disability bc i grew up around disabled people and am more usefd to it also we can share struggles a "normal person " would shrug off
@@melaniereynaerts3711 yeah, I've personally given up on dating in general whether disabled or able-bodied... But If I were to decide to start pursuing it again, I would probably only go out with disabled people.
Trust me when i tell you. People will never make you happy. I always used to compare my situation and have ended up laughing at myself seeing how the people who have more are actually more miserable
Try to be the best YOU that you can be. Regardless of where you rank on the scale, there are improvements you can do. Don't compare yourself to anyone, but yourself. Remember there are billions of girls on the planet. There is several out there that would want to be with you.
In a nutshell, I come from a dysfunctional and psychologically abusive relationship with my father who was a covert narcissist and had robbed me of my self-worth, I was homeless with him for a very long time during my upbringing and never had a good home life growing up. I managed to escape that and had to go great lengths to get away from him. I went to go be with my extended family that had found me on the internet, I genuinely felt that I would belong with them and I thought they felt same way, but unfortunately, I guess they didn’t. What seemed like a gift from the universe, just turned into something that only contributed to my psychological and emotional wounds, I was only with them for 3 months because of how difficult they were to live with, and how conditional their love and regard was towards me, their love was like a benchmark, I couldn’t really be loved or accepted for just the way I am and only if I meet certain criteria, and had to constantly jump through hoops in order to be loved, and if I wouldn’t, then it’s basically ‘bye peace out can’t live with your family’. It’s just unfair to me how my upbringing pretty much got robbed by a narcissist father and is something no kid should ever have to go through, while my fully related brother got to have what they called a ‘privileged life’. Yet, some online stranger on discord invalidates me and even went on to say “why should they love you” and “who are you and why should you be loved and cared for” and even a former friend laughs at me and invalidates me and minimizes my feelings saying “well they raised your brother and not you so he’s their kid and not you why do you think you deserve everything what he always gotten.” and that put more salt in the wound…it’s just really unfair, my aunt didn’t even have any idea why I went to go be with them, even though she invited me and was like “why not come stay here?”. It has put me in a constant endless loop of rumination. I remember I stayed with a friend of mine and his family because his mom couldn’t sleep at night knowing that I was sleeping in a car in a parking lot somewhere. They treated me as equally as their 2 boys… I wanted that with my brother… every other kid gets to have a family home life, the most basic thing in the world… except for me I guess… I have had someone that recognized the validity of my feelings though, and that person said “How on earth can you not be allowed just the same if not more”. All that I wanted was a life there with my family… why would anyone be wrong for that?
Dang, I'm sorry you have to go through all that roller coaster. But I'm glad that things seem to be somewhat better now for you. Even though they're the only thing that I have, I'm still very grateful for my culture and my family. Anglo-American culture has a very different concept of family that is more anti-family than anything and I wish that would change. I'm so sorry that you have to go through that. And I'm sorry for replying kind of late. It's just that I'm in grad school and I didn't really want to give you a half-baked reply because I can tell from the length of this that it really meant a lot to you to write that out. I hope your situation keeps improving.
Sup bro,i got high functioning autism coupled with ADHD and wat you said was something i realised at the age of 14 Im 24 now and the only thing thats changed is the fact that ive got a job(thanks to my neurotypical younger brother❤) but being shunned by neurotypicals cause i cant fit their social mold is still an extremely common thing in my life I live in a part of South Africa Cape Town that is extremely religous so 95% of the people im forced to interact with don't even believe in mental disorders so asking for help is a no go unless their family,they don't understand that wat they consider "automatic" common sense is something we have to constantly and "manually" remind ourselves of 24/7 in a conversation as not to accidentally offend someone Point im trying to make is that to 90% of the women i "could" be dating are disgusted with the thought of dating someone like me and not to brag but looks wise i do better than most of the neurotypical men in my community,so i guess thats a win for personality despite it being my disadvantage Ive given up on dating entirely but at the same time i take pride in the fact that im not falling for some of the idiotic dating tropes that some of my friends go through😁 I hope your video helps regular people realize just how blessed they are to be born normal,ofc were blessed with our own type of perception thats not blinded by the illusion of an all inclusive society and im glad this life gave me an open-minded view of reality Stay strong brother and thank you for making a video that gave me some strength 🙏❤
Same here man. I'm in a similar situation because I'm from Guatemala and I could date if I wanted to but I don't really want to because of the reasons you listed above. I'm just so tired man and I hope you keep improving and keep making money and stuff like that. And I appreciate your support.
Be yourself and keep putting yourself out there. Try going to social events that have people with disabilities and keep an open mind with people! Having a disability doesn't automatically discount you from the dating pool. Focus on having fun first, then take things from there ❤❤❤😊😊😊
I was put in special education class back in 2019 because i did not talk and they thought i was disabled i feel like just because i have a different style from other girls no one called me beautiful only they praised my popular older sister she had.more compliments then me im a girl who is not complimented because im a tall girl it will be ok for us you are a handsome boy 😊i hope you find a girlfriend😊
I really hope you find someone. It is incredibly tough out there for everyone, so when you have all of those extra barriers and struggles, it is beyond challenging. I happen to be gay, and the gay community is even more shallow with all the conditions, physical and mental that I have, and at 41 I will be alone for however much longer I live, and it hurts like hell. But for you, not to make light of your struggle, but I think you will find a girl who loves you. You might think you are ugly, but I see a handsome man, with a kind heart, and a well rounded personality, and I think you will get there.
I'm biromantic and also had similar experiences. My queer friends never really include me in anything or want to go out with me either. Although my guy friends are some of the most emotionally supportive people that I know, I got lucky in that respect. And I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you find strength to make it through alone. And I appreciate your kind words towards me, but I'm so jaded by rejection that I think I'll probably end up alone as well. The only way I would consider it now was only if the person that I was interested in or was interested in me also had a disability.
@@ACrownofFlowers I'm sorry to hear you've also had such exclusionary experiences. People can be in your corner, but just fall short of acknowledging the true things that make us feel valued as humans. I'm glad you've got some emotionally supportive friends though. They can be just as hard to find, and whilst no substitute for a deeper one to one intimacy, it can help you feel less isolated. I understand where you are coming from when finding someone else with a disability. In an ideal world anybody can find love with anybody, and I'm not saying that can't and doesn't happen, but having someone who can relate to you a bit more, then it becomes in time less about your disability, and more about you as a person. There are dating sites I believe that people have found success on that focus on people with disabilities, and for people open to dating people with them. In any case, I do have a good feeling that you have the charisma and strength of character to defy the odds of what your brain is telling you, and some of the cruel realities of the prejudices and inequalities that as you say still exist. Thank you for your good wishes. Take care, and all the best for 2024.
@@ACrownofFlowers its not about just being with a single woman. its about experiencing girlfriends through your teen/20's years with beautiful women, wifes and all that other crap. only the top 10% of men get to experience that. all my friends in highschool never had GFs and if they did they were ugly as hell.
I agree with Jordan Peterson when he said, "if they dont pick you they are right and you are wrong." But for these men that dont get picked...... all they want is to be respected like the bear in the woods. But unfortunately feminism has destroyed that respect through equality.
I mean it just is what it is man. I didn't mean for this to be taken as for or against one gender or the other. Because I promise you that able-bodied guys do this same thing to disabled girls. And I'm glad we have equality with women.
@@ACrownofFlowers No dude male and Female equality is 100 %bad!!!!! Think about it like this.... Why don't female whitetail deer grow antlers. The females wouldn't be submissive or attracted to the bucks and they wouldn't reproduce.
Humans are much more complicated than deer. Either way would I sit here applies to guys too, because which guy do you know is actively choosing today disabled girls? Almost zero as well lmao.
Powerful speech, the ending hit a note. Surely there are women who are undesirable too, who feel the exact same way? There are no dating matchmaking websites or apps for this?
None that I can afford. Services targeted specifically towards disabled individuals in that realm are so niche that they wouldn't have the potential on number of users to be able to be "free".
How would you sell this app idea, matchmaking for disabled people? Most investors would call me crazy because the market is too small and it seems not inclusive enough.
Yep. Not only that but I've heard countless stories from many caregivers about their falling in love with their clients. It's a very different dynamic to the "normal relationship".
I am in the same boat as you. I even got extremely fit and still got mocked. Now I snort, shoot up and drink all day. I do whatever it takes to get my mind off of rejection. If you’re disabled, ugly, and undesirable it should be legal to buy and use any drug you want. Hell, you shouldn’t even be forced to pay taxes.
I don't know about that first part man, but that second part is definitely true-I don't pay taxes and I get government benefits. I do hope you are able to find a healthier coping mechanism though, because I don't want to judge but that doesn't seem like a sustainable cope. Stay up, king. 👑
Again, so many people need to hear this message from someone in your community. We, as a society, just don't get this from anyone who is disabled. It just gives us a chance to grow and realize a giant failure in how we perceive individuals who are disabled. Possibly the right person hearing this will treat someone they meet differently just because they heard your words. That's powerful. Keep it up, man, and thank you.
Thanks, David. I really appreciate it and that's what I hope for!
This guy has probably been through so much ❤️
I think I've been through a lot, but not as much as other people for sure.
I'm glad youtube recommended this video, because as a fellow disabled dude, you've echoed a lot of similar thoughts I've had, and it's nice to hear someone else recognize the tough reality that disabled people have to face, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. I've never had issues making friends, but like you said, first impressions are so important, and if there isn't an initial attraction, chances are the romantic aspect of a relationship will never develop further.
Thank you man. I actually have been with someone before but she was very ashamed of me and it never went past s-x. Best wishes to you and I hope you enjoy the channel.
It takes courage to come up at camera speak it. Hats off 👏 ❤
Thank you.
I am an incel pretty much, I have always known deep down that I never really had a chance with women, but it's becoming more and more cemented, my problem I guess is that I don't really know how to spend the rest of my life. I feel so trash, I am not particularly smart, not attractive, lazy, don't really have much going for me, like I kinda question why I am even alive. I just work, get money, and just exist.
Is there any happiness? Is there any fun? Even when I do go out to try and have fun I feel bad. I am 30 (and I look WAY older than 30 because that's part of my ugliness) and people look at you weird and treat you weird when you are an older man who is single and you aren't working (even in my teens I looked OLD so I always got treated like a grown man)............. I just honestly don't feel right going out and doing things I feel bad. I have this coworker who is like the only guy I KINDA talk to besides my mom lol. He invited me to a baseball game and it was kinda fun, but I felt out of place, two grown dudes watching baseball idk I just felt like I should be doing something I guess.
I don't really like video games that much anymore. I just don't know what I am supposed to do. I feel like if I am not working then I am just "existing" and waiting to die, but I am too lazy to get a better job and most of the careers I look at seem trash. I will never be smart enough to do the COOL shit or the fun work. I will probably do menial work until I eventually die.
I don't fit in with ANYONE, the only people I feel comfortable talking too are "undesirables" they are the only people that are close to being like me and they are the only people I feel kinship with, but the problem is that usually us "undesirables" tend to have a lot of mental issues usually because we were bullied a lot or we put up defensive walls, or we straight up are neurodivergent.
There is no point in me doing anything because there are millions of other people that already can do it better. I have thought about getting a cabin and being a hermit in the woods but idk, if I buy a sailboat and spend the rest of my life sailing that still feels like just wasting time. IDK.
I am honestly fine with never being with a woman, it's bitter, but that's just reality, at this point I don't really even like women anymore, if I ever wanted to experience "love" it would've been when I was young and dumb and still thought it could exist. The time has passed.
I just don't know what to do. You seem like a very strong man, I wish you well on your journey, I will look more at your videos and see what you do, maybe there is a path for me there.
You have my complete empathy, dude. I'm in a similar position to you. I'm smart but I can't work because the government will take away my necessary insurance. And it seems like you're ahead of me because you don't really have that much resentment-that's good. And thank you man. I do hope my videos do allow you to find some sort of path.
Mate, have you thought about software development?
You don't have to be smart to start learning it.
There are many courses online.
I highly recommend paid courses (specifically bootcamps) because they are structured and teach you the bare basics from the ground up.
You don't need a degree/uni/college.
When applying for these jobs, side projects always trump degrees as it shows you have initiative to build in your spare time.
It's a fun profession, you get to build applications and in your spare time, build your own applications for fun, or even game development!
Anyway, worth a shot letting you know just in case.
Creating stuff might be cool for you. I get bad anxiety and meaningless vibes. Im trying to find spirit in things and in the day to day. Perhaps we all so fixated on other humans liking us. Plants and animals are pretty cool as far as they don't care much about status and looks. Taking care of other things can be rewarding sometimes for sure.... Hopefully I don't sound trite. Some how we just keep going.. feeling existential anxiety in a world gone mad with meaning! I'm looking for a farming community myself.. they are around , not enough but they there. Hopefully I'll find one to fit in. Good luck pal. Don't loose heart! Self compassion is hard but take it when you can... Try to slow it down even 😊
@@patricksullivan1827 having pets is nice. I can confirm that. I have three cats.
I'm in a relationship and yet I still kind of know what this feels like.
The search for meaning is always really tough, especially in the modern world.
There isn't any advice I could give, but I wanted to say something because your comment really hit me deep here.
Just getting over the idea that women and companionship just not being in the cards is a tough pill to swallow, and I wish you the best in being able to handle that reality. Always look for anything you can to give yourself moments of meaning and fulfillment. In reality everything is kind of fleeting for everyone. So maybe there could be some solace in understanding it's definitely a common issue idk.
I needed to hear this. Thank you good sir.
Glad I could help.
Personally I believe, without any negative, not to try to find love in this scenario because it will only hurt, just accepting that its impossible is the only real rescue in this situation, not feeding by absurd hope, the comment like “you will find someone” don’t make any sense, just accept the different set of basic facts and concentrate on different stuff where the physical traits doesn’t play a role or play less. The enormous capacities of human mind can create the unimaginable in sphere where physical touch is not involved.
Agreed. That's what I've been trying to do.
Damn, this was a really eye opening video. I love your vids, and I love how you keep it real. Head up king! You may feel ugly on the outside, but your an extremely bright and beautiful young man
Thank you so much, dude!
Gabe. You rock brother. You have a very humble and truthful way about you. I want to simply state that there is ALWAYS someone for everyone. Just difficult to find em. You're strong. Don't give up.
I'm trying man. I'm trying to find ways to help the community.
I'm not even sure how I found you but you popped up. I am so depressed. I'm not disabled but man mentally I dunno I am a mess. I like you videos.
I don't think you are unattractive some of our issues are just more visible than others. But even if we can hide them they always come out. Feels like I'm in a cage inside my own mind. Can't imagine what your cage feels like. It all gets so tiring though.
Thank you. I wouldn't say I'm depressed. I just think it's important to put out a real, non-platitude field perspective on these things.
I mean sometimes I have a literal cage. The bed that I sleep in has two metal bars so I don't spasm off the side and like it literally feels like a jail cell sometimes hahaha.
I agree, Gabe. Some aspects of ourselves make us "undesirable" to a degree. In my case, it was acne, it still followed me to my adulthood and to this day there is a pimple here and there. Not to mention the scars that were left on my face. In your case, I would say that perhaps you do not need to fool yourself and as you say it "get your hopes up". Maybe you only need to look deeper for that person. It might be harder but the world is quite big. Just imagine how many people you will not ever get to know because you do not share the same language. That is why I am learning Japanese lol. I would have not been able to reach quality content as yours, raw, well presented, well educated, had I not learned English as a second language.
Good points.
I’m very new to your channel but I’m hearing your story and believe me, I wanna know more. I wanna watch your videos and hear more about what you think. Everything you have to say in this video is so fucking real. I really can’t imagine navigating through life having a physical disability that signals me as different from other people in the world. The think I admire is your ability to take in the raw truth and just come to terms with it. Fuck…. And what you said about your childhood friends having some of the only people to get a glance at your true self… it’s an unfortunate truth. I’m glad your sharing your thoughts because you’re a smart dude and you are able to just run with reality
Thanks, that's the goal. I just think that sometimes the disabled community is too focused on getting others to accept them rather than just telling it as it is sometimes. I'm not trying to be an inspiration,.I'm not trying to be with other able-bodied people want me to be-I'm just trying to be me.
Yeah man keep on going! I would really love to see you explore more topics about Latino heritage and the ideas that get perpetuated, kind of like your video about hair. It’s rare to find that kind of commentary these days
@@tropicalermine thanks. I'll be sure to do that!
@@DarkCelestialConsciousness thanks!
Im a disabled girl and i used to hate my disability and people with disabilities ive learned to accept it i actually feel more comfortable dating someone who also has a disability bc i grew up around disabled people and am more usefd to it also we can share struggles a "normal person " would shrug off
Me too, me too. But I'm glad you got past that, and I hope that you can support The wider disabled community wherever you are.
@@ACrownofFlowers it feels weird trying to date a non disabled person they don't get us
@@melaniereynaerts3711 yeah, I've personally given up on dating in general whether disabled or able-bodied... But If I were to decide to start pursuing it again, I would probably only go out with disabled people.
Nice vid Walter Jr
I prefer TIMMAH!
Trust me when i tell you. People will never make you happy. I always used to compare my situation and have ended up laughing at myself seeing how the people who have more are actually more miserable
You're right.
Well said. Keep up the enthusiasm!!
Thanks!
Try to be the best YOU that you can be. Regardless of where you rank on the scale, there are improvements you can do. Don't compare yourself to anyone, but yourself. Remember there are billions of girls on the planet. There is several out there that would want to be with you.
I'm trying my best, man. Thanks!
In a nutshell, I come from a dysfunctional and psychologically abusive relationship with my father who was a covert narcissist and had robbed me of my self-worth, I was homeless with him for a very long time during my upbringing and never had a good home life growing up. I managed to escape that and had to go great lengths to get away from him. I went to go be with my extended family that had found me on the internet, I genuinely felt that I would belong with them and I thought they felt same way, but unfortunately, I guess they didn’t. What seemed like a gift from the universe, just turned into something that only contributed to my psychological and emotional wounds, I was only with them for 3 months because of how difficult they were to live with, and how conditional their love and regard was towards me, their love was like a benchmark, I couldn’t really be loved or accepted for just the way I am and only if I meet certain criteria, and had to constantly jump through hoops in order to be loved, and if I wouldn’t, then it’s basically ‘bye peace out can’t live with your family’. It’s just unfair to me how my upbringing pretty much got robbed by a narcissist father and is something no kid should ever have to go through, while my fully related brother got to have what they called a ‘privileged life’. Yet, some online stranger on discord invalidates me and even went on to say “why should they love you” and “who are you and why should you be loved and cared for” and even a former friend laughs at me and invalidates me and minimizes my feelings saying “well they raised your brother and not you so he’s their kid and not you why do you think you deserve everything what he always gotten.” and that put more salt in the wound…it’s just really unfair, my aunt didn’t even have any idea why I went to go be with them, even though she invited me and was like “why not come stay here?”. It has put me in a constant endless loop of rumination. I remember I stayed with a friend of mine and his family because his mom couldn’t sleep at night knowing that I was sleeping in a car in a parking lot somewhere. They treated me as equally as their 2 boys… I wanted that with my brother… every other kid gets to have a family home life, the most basic thing in the world… except for me I guess… I have had someone that recognized the validity of my feelings though, and that person said “How on earth can you not be allowed just the same if not more”. All that I wanted was a life there with my family… why would anyone be wrong for that?
Dang, I'm sorry you have to go through all that roller coaster. But I'm glad that things seem to be somewhat better now for you. Even though they're the only thing that I have, I'm still very grateful for my culture and my family. Anglo-American culture has a very different concept of family that is more anti-family than anything and I wish that would change. I'm so sorry that you have to go through that. And I'm sorry for replying kind of late. It's just that I'm in grad school and I didn't really want to give you a half-baked reply because I can tell from the length of this that it really meant a lot to you to write that out. I hope your situation keeps improving.
Sup bro,i got high functioning autism coupled with ADHD and wat you said was something i realised at the age of 14
Im 24 now and the only thing thats changed is the fact that ive got a job(thanks to my neurotypical younger brother❤) but being shunned by neurotypicals cause i cant fit their social mold is still an extremely common thing in my life
I live in a part of South Africa Cape Town that is extremely religous so 95% of the people im forced to interact with don't even believe in mental disorders so asking for help is a no go unless their family,they don't understand that wat they consider "automatic" common sense is something we have to constantly and "manually" remind ourselves of 24/7 in a conversation as not to accidentally offend someone
Point im trying to make is that to 90% of the women i "could" be dating are disgusted with the thought of dating someone like me and not to brag but looks wise i do better than most of the neurotypical men in my community,so i guess thats a win for personality despite it being my disadvantage
Ive given up on dating entirely but at the same time i take pride in the fact that im not falling for some of the idiotic dating tropes that some of my friends go through😁
I hope your video helps regular people realize just how blessed they are to be born normal,ofc were blessed with our own type of perception thats not blinded by the illusion of an all inclusive society and im glad this life gave me an open-minded view of reality
Stay strong brother and thank you for making a video that gave me some strength 🙏❤
Same here man. I'm in a similar situation because I'm from Guatemala and I could date if I wanted to but I don't really want to because of the reasons you listed above. I'm just so tired man and I hope you keep improving and keep making money and stuff like that. And I appreciate your support.
@@ACrownofFlowers thanks bro best of luck with your situation as well ✊
@@ryomensukuna2748 💪😁
Be yourself and keep putting yourself out there. Try going to social events that have people with disabilities and keep an open mind with people! Having a disability doesn't automatically discount you from the dating pool. Focus on having fun first, then take things from there ❤❤❤😊😊😊
I'm trying! Thanks.
I was put in special education class back in 2019 because i did not talk and they thought i was disabled i feel like just because i have a different style from other girls no one called me beautiful only they praised my popular older sister she had.more compliments then me im a girl who is not complimented because im a tall girl it will be ok for us you are a handsome boy 😊i hope you find a girlfriend😊
Thanks. I'm sorry you have to go through that.
I really hope you find someone. It is incredibly tough out there for everyone, so when you have all of those extra barriers and struggles, it is beyond challenging. I happen to be gay, and the gay community is even more shallow with all the conditions, physical and mental that I have, and at 41 I will be alone for however much longer I live, and it hurts like hell. But for you, not to make light of your struggle, but I think you will find a girl who loves you. You might think you are ugly, but I see a handsome man, with a kind heart, and a well rounded personality, and I think you will get there.
I'm biromantic and also had similar experiences. My queer friends never really include me in anything or want to go out with me either. Although my guy friends are some of the most emotionally supportive people that I know, I got lucky in that respect.
And I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you find strength to make it through alone. And I appreciate your kind words towards me, but I'm so jaded by rejection that I think I'll probably end up alone as well. The only way I would consider it now was only if the person that I was interested in or was interested in me also had a disability.
@@ACrownofFlowers I'm sorry to hear you've also had such exclusionary experiences. People can be in your corner, but just fall short of acknowledging the true things that make us feel valued as humans. I'm glad you've got some emotionally supportive friends though. They can be just as hard to find, and whilst no substitute for a deeper one to one intimacy, it can help you feel less isolated. I understand where you are coming from when finding someone else with a disability. In an ideal world anybody can find love with anybody, and I'm not saying that can't and doesn't happen, but having someone who can relate to you a bit more, then it becomes in time less about your disability, and more about you as a person. There are dating sites I believe that people have found success on that focus on people with disabilities, and for people open to dating people with them. In any case, I do have a good feeling that you have the charisma and strength of character to defy the odds of what your brain is telling you, and some of the cruel realities of the prejudices and inequalities that as you say still exist. Thank you for your good wishes. Take care, and all the best for 2024.
@@phily8093 I really appreciate that. Have a great 2024!
Nobody ever talks to me it’s like a big mystery to me I can’t understand why
Yeah, man. I think part of it might be gender roles because if you're a guy, you're expected to take the initiative in those types of things.
hey, your videos came up in my feed. keep it up
Thanks, will do!
❤
🤗🇬🇹
"Shut up incel! There is someone out there for everyone!"
A certified cope classic.
dotn worry bro theres a lot of lonely guys that have no chance. they are perfectly healthy too. thats life some men get to enjoy women some never do.
its depressing i get it. i live it everyday.
I've actually been with a woman, but I don't think I'll be with another one.
@@ACrownofFlowers its not about just being with a single woman. its about experiencing girlfriends through your teen/20's years with beautiful women, wifes and all that other crap. only the top 10% of men get to experience that. all my friends in highschool never had GFs and if they did they were ugly as hell.
@@balla4544 yeah, I mean the only people that I know that did that were girls or particularly attractive guys that everyone wanted.
אז גם אתה אמריקאי. 👍
I unfortunately don't speak Hebrew, and for some reason there's not an option to translate it.
I agree with Jordan Peterson when he said, "if they dont pick you they are right and you are wrong." But for these men that dont get picked...... all they want is to be respected like the bear in the woods. But unfortunately feminism has destroyed that respect through equality.
I mean it just is what it is man. I didn't mean for this to be taken as for or against one gender or the other. Because I promise you that able-bodied guys do this same thing to disabled girls. And I'm glad we have equality with women.
@@ACrownofFlowers No dude male and Female equality is 100 %bad!!!!! Think about it like this.... Why don't female whitetail deer grow antlers. The females wouldn't be submissive or attracted to the bucks and they wouldn't reproduce.
Humans are much more complicated than deer. Either way would I sit here applies to guys too, because which guy do you know is actively choosing today disabled girls? Almost zero as well lmao.
Powerful speech, the ending hit a note.
Surely there are women who are undesirable too, who feel the exact same way?
There are no dating matchmaking websites or apps for this?
None that I can afford. Services targeted specifically towards disabled individuals in that realm are so niche that they wouldn't have the potential on number of users to be able to be "free".
How would you sell this app idea, matchmaking for disabled people? Most investors would call me crazy because the market is too small and it seems not inclusive enough.
@@HangMrH yeah man, I don't know. Because even most people that could be called disabled don't want anything to do with the community.
@@ACrownofFlowers i would though, in fact if somehow inclusion and disability lands me opportunity I have the obligation to give some support back
@@HangMrH Well, I guess that's what volunteering is for.
I do notice a lot of disabled people end up marrying their caregivers.
Yep. Not only that but I've heard countless stories from many caregivers about their falling in love with their clients. It's a very different dynamic to the "normal relationship".
Only if they find them attractive
@@billykidman1879 isn't that with any person though? Like disabled or not.
Shutup boi u r fucking awesome chad level dude ❤❤❤❤❤🎉
Thanks? 😅
@@ACrownofFlowers brother is there any way I really wanna talk to you please if you don't mind i really want to please 😅
@@Aryan95290 email me at askgabequestions@gmail.com
@@ACrownofFlowers thank you 💙
@@ACrownofFlowers do you have insta?
You can't get girls? Brother you don't know how lucky you are
I guess so. I'm just bummed that I don't even have a friend group.
Devotees are a great way to make money on OF. 💰 💰 💰 😉
Hahaha. I'm desperate but not that desperate.
@@ACrownofFlowers 😅🤣🤣🤣
I thought you would be more popular considering we want inclusion.
I mean, people just like to pay lip service my man. They rarely actually follow through with what they say they're going to do.
@@ACrownofFlowers now isn't that the truth.
Just be edgy, I dunno
Lol. Ok bro.
@@ACrownofFlowers Haha, its medicine for the mind, as long as it isn't toxic.
@@JaefisonSanchez it's just that I already went through that phase, and I'm currently still in the process of finding a better cope.
Cool I guess. TBH I am still a bit pessimistic in a ironically optimistic manner, since I'm young.
@@JaefisonSanchez as long as you still regularly touch grass, that's fine.
I am in the same boat as you. I even got extremely fit and still got mocked. Now I snort, shoot up and drink all day. I do whatever it takes to get my mind off of rejection. If you’re disabled, ugly, and undesirable it should be legal to buy and use any drug you want. Hell, you shouldn’t even be forced to pay taxes.
I don't know about that first part man, but that second part is definitely true-I don't pay taxes and I get government benefits. I do hope you are able to find a healthier coping mechanism though, because I don't want to judge but that doesn't seem like a sustainable cope. Stay up, king. 👑