A Divorced Woman’s Hardest Love Lesson
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- Опубликовано: 9 фев 2025
- Divorced Woman Says THIS is How You Find True Love #shorts
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She seems super relaxed. I want this level of chill.
Right? The most unbothered queen lol
She probably got a wife.Think about it nowadays we have different genders.
comes with age and money for therapy
@@razorsharplifestyle101hard9 pushing the agenda even when completely off-topic, aren't we brainwashed
divorce money
“When the attraction is gone, what’s left?” That’s deep
Familiarity and the police holding the husbands money as hostage if he wants to find happiness other places.
Looks change. Money comes and go. When you only marry for looks or for financial security, there is absolutely nothing holding you together over the years.
I wouldn't say "deep" per se..
It's basically just lust.
If you can love someone at their worst, it is true love.
-- I don't mean worst by being abusive or anything like that.. just their true self..
Child.....left😂
Nah. Its simpler
I love this women sitting back soaking in the sun, arms open, speaking the truth!
*Woman
Just one.
She's secure in her vibe 💛😊
@@OrchidTingzyep it comes with wisdom. Some ppl get it as they get older and more experienced.
She had her legs back soaking in her ex husband until the new one came along and simped out.
So beautiful❤
Yo I want her level of tranquility you can tell she’s totally at peace and plain ole joy. Sis is everything! This is confidence.
Trust God 💖🙏🏻
What’s left! She’s right! Similar Morals and values will carry the relationship through the toughest times
You're right but any one of the two being a good manager if values are not quite n sync can help
@@HgfdAers she also said she didnt love herself enough...thats a big thing. if you dont love yourself, how do you expect to love anyone else unconditionally
That's 60 seconds of complete advice necessary for your entire life. 💯
If your entire life revolves around finding a mate you probably should seek therapy.
@@awill3992 bro I think he meant it's enough for our entire romantic life
@@awill3992who hurt you?
Period.!
She nailed it. Codependency is a big issue.
Yep, pathetic, rather be alone..
I think codependency has alot to do with mental health problems
Yes
I think that's oversimplifying. I'd say I'm codependent with my husband. If either of us were suddenly thrust into single parenthood, it'd be devastating. We definitely started our marriage financially codependent as well. But I don't think either of us uses the other to fill a gap. Rather, in binding our lives together, we've created something new that can't be easily sustained if one of us was missing.
It's natural to need other people.
She summed things up beautifully.
She’s saying what people don’t want to hear but what they Need to hear
That’s the first time I’ve heard someone actually realize they need to be whole/complete before entering a relationship. Lots of people don’t realize that
That's why Jesus is needed to complete a person at heart.
@@annikatan378 you need jesus to love yourself ahahahaha
@@Cockmonging Same goes to you. The heart matter is up to you, whether or not to receive His love. I wish you all the best 🙏
Heck I'm not even complete after almost 5 years of marriage and 2 kids.
It's not that people don't I believe that people go round looking for something that's not there and while you go looking around for something that's not there you missing opportunities with peace with yourself p love yourself holy and completely without any ends experts or inspirations or I need this person oh I need that person all I need my family yeah everybody needs something but really there's something comes be alone and ok that's what I'm going through you know what the only thing I need is myself sitting with me making me feel ok about when you can do that if love comes in it does if it and if you still got nothing p does total happiness within people😊 people you choose to have the people you want in your life there is different
So chill and laid back, spitting experiential wisdom right to your face.
True 👍🏽
U should drink that spit
@@swatirawat3059 You should too 😆
@@cosmocelli U use that word you drink .irresponsible commentr
But it's just common sense; I was expressing these same views in high school. What's so profound about this woman's 'insights'? No one can 'complete' you nor is it anyone's job to do so. Plus, historically (pre-20th century), marriage had always been an economic proposition for women as they had very few opportunities to attain higher education or earn their own livelihood. Women were not blinded by attraction or infatuation when their survival hung in the balance.
Appearances attract people. But the souls make people stay.
Yep good point if one is attractive enough but after talking you don't like his her soul what's inside deep down then one will start loosing all the attraction towards that person.
And commit
And a soul connection doesn't magically make you compatible
What does that even mean?
@@kokolatte825That too
shes got a power stance, straight gangster
Ikr😅
Queen
Empress✨✨✨
Thats what I said😂😂
Emperor Philippa Georgia (Star Trek Discovery)
Power stance, super relaxed & obviously happy
Listen to this woman !!
She's absolutely right!
My mom doesn’t need a puppy. She has my dad follow her around the house. He’s retired a few years now and he’s always by her side. They’re so cute Thank God.
❤
Is he happy too?
Well he’s following her around the house isn’t he.
He is happily following her around the house.
Wise lady. I find heartbreak forces you to finally learn these lessons
Even the way she sits, you can tell she's happy with who she is. 😊
This is what most people search for with out being too high and relaxed 😢 it's sad but the truth
Specially age 18 - 40
💯 i love the phrase "anyone can fall in love with your flowers, but what happens when winter comes, will they love your roots?"
😂😂😂😂😂😅
Love this! Good food for thought.
In australia roots means sex, so if you survive winter together......
Wowwwww
What a very confident woman! Look at how confidently she is sitting there!!! I want to be more like that.
She's been there and done that and she dgaf about anyone's judgement because she knows whats up.
Yes her energy is so refreshing isn’t it?
The interview feels so natural.
Wow, I am not ready for a comment thread where everyone is passing the vibe check.
I agree 100% with her. I have gone through the same circumstances and failures, grief from a loss clouded my judgement also. I have been single now for 5 years and have finally become happy and love myself. Not even looking for a partner. My daughter worries about me but I told her I am finally comfortable in my own skin and am perfectly content. Not to say I am avoiding relationships, it's just that I haven't found that special one that I want to hang out with. Most men annoy me at the moment. LOL!
I hear ya!
I don't know you but, I love your statement. There're great things in store for you. Be happy, travel and enjoy yourself.
I. Love. Your. Statement....Be. Happy. In. Your. OWN. Skin....& Dont. Worry...❤ Will. Come. In. Time
This is the best short I’ve watched this year. She articulated that so well!
"When you fall in love, you don't think things through very clearly."
Most people can relate to this 💣💥
I can't relate
We see with pink glasses as they say...
As a girl committed to a men for 6 yrs...I can agree with you 💯%
Those rose-colored glasses hide the red flags.
😂 we cannot think clearly even when we're not in love 😂 People make wrong decisions all the time even in areas that involve no love
She should be a family counselor for pre-wedding n post wedding, very considerate with real facts
Sahi bola Jhaakkkaasss... 👌
Right 👍
Divorce lawyers will burn down her office.
That's simple advice yet difficult to implement
Maybe she is 🤔
I was married for only 27 years because my husband passed away. He was so handsome when we married and still handsome 27 years later. I loved him with all my heart and soul not for his physical beauty but because his soul, his heart . I hope to meet again wherever he is.
I feel your pain. Lost mine after 35 yrs of marriage
Only 27 years? My dear that is a lifetime and indeed death did you apart otherwise you'd still be together. Not many people are lucky to talk about their over 2 decades partner the way you do. And I do hope you meet again if there is an afterlife 🙏🏽
There is a afterlife the if didn’t help
He's waiting for you but don't hurry. he wants you to take your time.
I wish you all the best …. We need more people like you to make us believe in love again god bless you..
Her body language is just confidence and peace… great advices
She said it all. Clear speech, loved to hear her. Brilliant
I hear her honest Irish accent coming through.
Not only did she learn from her mistake, but she learned a LOT. She's sharing golden nuggets of wisdom right now.
Yes sadly its too late. Better to learn in the very beginning not at the end of the line
@@kaboom6157 True. It is best that way.
@@kaboom6157- How is it "too late?" Too late for what?
@@rtphotos4691 because it's 2 ⵏаtе Ьⲅⲟ
The attraction shouldn’t ever be gone, but she’s right that there are so many other things that keep a marriage going. We’re 42 years and going strong, and still attracted.
Many blessings
"attracted"
I couldn’t agree more!
Wishing you many more happy years together🫶🏻
Attractions??? Not physical....but discover your partner everyday...and love them everyday in their flaws ....as what Stephen covey say... love your wife even you feel no feel for them...
Woww 😍
Nothing completes you but yourself …..rest is all life happening around you
My children completes part of my life
@@sappybb it’s attachment and affection towards kids ….they and you still can be complete individually if situation demands
🙃 That means I'm already mature enough to live my best life! I'm grateful that i understood all this at a young age so that i might not waste my life. I'm 15yrs and I've heard and seen many living examples and I've collected all their experiences, mistakes and lessons to improve my perspective and life! I'm already living a beautiful life!
God does.
@@Moon-oh1fjthat's great! 👍🏿 😊
That's why it's so important to have the same values and goals.
The best relationship advice I've ever heard on youtube! 100%
I kinda knew it already, but sometimes you need a reminder to open your eyes. Thank you ❤
I'm in my 2nd marriage, its been 6 years now. it sounds like she's talking about me.
she's absolutely right, like 100%
That's the same advice I'd gave my daughter. I said if you need to be married or have a relationship to feel happy that is the time that you should never be married or looking for relationship. You have to be happy with who you are and where you are before you start looking for someone to be in your life. No one makes you happy. You make you happy.
And she is so right. People don't ask the serious questions about what are your morals? What are your goals? Do they line up with my goals? Do you want children? How do you want to raise children? How do you feel about family ? work? What kind of a person are you? Are you loving giving? Are you selfish or materialistic? How do you handle finances?
Too many people get married for infatuation, sex, companionship and live to regret it when life hits
🙏🙏🙏
I think almost nobody would get married and have kids if they answered those tough questions completely honestly.
@@jimj2683 Well nobody's going to tell you there lazy selfish your materialistic. They will tell you what their goals are. And if you listen without your heart getting in the way and you watch what they do, you'll find out how they view those things.
The problem is that most people just follow what makes them feel good in the present (good sex and good looks). Then they keep seeing each other for years and having great sex even though they are incompatible in other ways. Then a bond is built over time that is almost psychologically impossible to leave, even if they really have to leave. Lots of people are stuck in these types of half-assed relationships because nobody taught them how it will pan out long term.
It is really hard to go for a less attractive long term partner when you are young just because you one day will enjoy that relationship more.@@flamingpieherman9822
ruclips.net/video/YRk1X8fgyMQ/видео.htmlsi=PqxnddRNXRCcxubg
It's been the second day I left the man I love the most for those exact same reasons and it's been heartbreaking. I think God has guided me to see this video and what that woman said was exactly what I needed to hear..
When the physical attraction is gone, what should be left is compassion, concern, admiration and devotion.
Loyalty, integrity, love, respect/self respect, accountability, responsibility, and the ability to communicate with one another should only have both improved and deepened by then.
Women need to stop demanding men have high incomes or be 6 feet tall or look like prince charming out of a fairy tale. Women need to love their man for who he is, and men need to love their woman for who she is. Help build each other up into better people than you were the day before etc. Both men and women should want each other for their personality. Not for resources, sex, or superficial physical appearances. Just don't neglect your bodies, and take care of each other in times of need.
@@user-gz4ve8mw9l Yes, yes, yes! And there shouldn't be a need to "fight" for a connection. The only people who you and your spouse should be fighting are the ones in the outside world, not with each other or in competition from someone else, in order to keep your spouse. You MUST harmonize with him or her on mutual goals and be united when dealing with others in this shark infested world we live in. You gotta show respect for one another in that manner to protect them. To protect the family or unit. Both spouses! Not just the man. People come at us sideways everyday, so your spouse HAS to not be one of them.
Also, If men and women worked as a unit, there wouldn't be a need for a dominant spouse who leads it all of the time. They would know each others strengths and weaknesses and carry the loads accordingly, plus step in when they had to in 'lesser' roles. Men would wash dishes when they needed to just because dirty dishes are disgusting and he had time to take care of them. Women would handle plowing the driveway if it needed to be done or problem solve other domestic issues related to the actual dwelling, like plumbing or electricity, if she was into them. The management of responsibilities would fall on both, like two people maintaining a machine and the resources produced from it, not gender territorial and hyper masculine or feminine we it comes to dealing with living, in general. But those relationships and keeping them are super rare now, I think. Finding someone that you vibe with on that level would be like finding a unicorn.
@@user-gz4ve8mw9lthe same can be said about men. Stop wanting a woman to be 36-24-36, make $six-figures, gourmet chef, maid, nurse, perpetually 25 yr. old etc. etc.
She’s absolutely correct. The mindset of people today going into a relationship is “what can I get out of this relationship,” instead of “what can I bring to this relationship to be of value to the other person.” And when you have two selfish people who are merely out to get their own needs and desires met, it’s typically a recipe for failure.
nothing new
Why do you keep mentioning who will bring something and some values to whom? It can be seen that you have organized your brain in a capitalist way. I can tell you from the experience of a successful marriage of more than 15 years that you should love your partner's "flaws", which are not faults for the person you are with, so that they do not bother each other at all and that you have common interests (e.g. skiing, mountaineering, art, a way of entertainment, raising children - all of which results from a similar upbringing).
@@ivavucicevic5095 well said
@@ivavucicevic5095 Zhat's not what she meant! Her complain was about modern dating being about finding someone to "make you happy" and not trying to find a PARTNER
@@ulrichleukam1068I don't know about this, I never saw my parents doing 50% 50%in everything , it will be difficult for me to change my mentality
She feels very free and happy. It's refreshing seeing her talking.❤❤❤❤❤
Well said love yourself !!!
"Love yourself, and like your company. Otherwise you will keep looking for that piece of jigsaw puzzle to complete you, when you should be complete to begin with."
That's a solid words of wisdom to live with ❤
Why isn't this comment pinned...
Truly ❤
True but hard.
That’s the most important thing she said and that very few people realize.
She's chill. Good on her. Glad she's found a great bloke.
She is exactly correct. Beautiful & smart woman. I love my own company & I am not afraid be on my own. Being by urself, beats being in a bad relationship, by miles!☺️
The real problem are liars when one asks the right questions...
I think watching to observe if their actions align with their words is a major part. Of course that observation takes a good amount of time to collect as well.
@@ToluHarounAdamu Yes, sometimes it requires years... Years of marriage... It is not a surprise: lawyers could write books on this theme.
Time spent with people can help sort out liars from genuine individuals.
People tend to jump into marriage very soon after becoming a couple. And that's a mistake. Plus remember always the if s/he has a trait ( or several ) that you don't like, you are not going to make him/her change. In fact, it will go on amplified. And people need to remember that your espouse is not a toy whose personality needs to be turned up. If they think so, they will show that they are in love with an ideal, not a person, and they are bound to fail miserably. Living together a few years before tying the knot usually helps a lot.
Google, Private Investigator...you are precious, and need to know who you are bringing into your life.
I actually love my company 😂 so much I won’t let anyone come in to disrupt what I have going on
lol I'm in limbo...
I can relate. I'm anxious when I have to share so much of my time with other people
preach
You can tell she’s genuine she sitting there waxing deep posted lol
Carefree with knowledge
She's so chill , you can see by the way she sits with her arms out😊
Wow 🙌🏽 everything she says is so true. True wisdom spoken by someone who really gets it.
yaa you have to love yourself so that when everything falls apart you have someone at least with you...thats is you.
that's not what she was saying ,it's about having a relationship with substance it has to be beyond providing and looks
Takes time to learn this shit and this woman is giving all this advice sway for free. respect to her.
She is a knowledgeable woman.
I wish to be surrounded by people like this than what I've got
Internet can do that for you because oftentimes it is hard to find our kind or has similar vibes.
To solve this problem, as in my case, I'm following channels that inspires me. Eventhough they're not in my real life physically, their videos feels like accompanying me.
Or if you want to keep looking in real life, maybe you can start to join community that interest you.
💯 I learned this the hard way and it took a long time.I would be with very toxic men and almost lost my life because I didn't truly love myself and wasn't fully stable and happy alone.
When I mention about self-love first, men around me would tell me "Your self love would be useless when you're 50 and don't have a husband and kids" or something like that.
That's gaslighting from men who are misogynists. As soon as you hear some nonsense like that from a man's mouth, it's time to move on. You are more sophisticated than them and if you stayed, they would drag you down.
Of course it'll be
Bc they can’t stand the thought of a woman being completely content without them. They feel pointless.
"when the attraction is gone, what's left? What's left?❤
This woman is so smart and I love her gestures and the way she speaks you can see she's so genuine 💗 ahhhh there are some wonderful people in this world 🌎
I never understood loss of attraction. I'm still very attracted to him 27 years later.
U were/are lucky?! 🤷🏽♂️
It's mean attraction to physical things like money, looks, assets. Attraction to the soul hardly dies...
So your response got me thinking, and I will like to ask. How did you maintained the law of attraction in your marriage over the years?
@@paulakinsande He is good looking, I guess that helps. He is honest, has integrity, work ethics, a good heart, open minded, always calm. Trustworthy. I can put my life in his hands and know I will be taken care off. Man of his word. He can be disorganized though. I wish he was more refined at times. But honestly he has 90% of the requirements so that does it for sure.
Is he also very attracted to you?
She is beautiful inside and out.. Thank you for this 🤲🏽👏🏽
Smartest woman ever!
Pure wisdom!🎉
Facts. Work on yourself first before jumping into a relationship with another. Don't expect the other to "complete you." If the other person tells you "You complete me," that's a red flag.
💯, that's codependency and not love!
We need part 2 of this
I want the whole thing!
Me too!
Hell yeah we do!😂😮😊😅
Young love is overwhelmed by the attraction so much that the people gets lost somewhere along the way.
Don't ever marry someone thinking you can change them or help them through their past baggage that they carry. When you take on that responsibility to do that, you will set yourself up for failure!! That person must want to work on that themselves. It's not only about looking for the right person, you must work on yourself as well to be the right person for someone else in having inner peace & happiness. Once you learn from your mistakes, seek help/healing from any past hurt, and decide to live a better life you will find your soulmate without searching. God always makes a way! Never give up! It always happens when you least expect it!
My life is proof of that! I found and married my other half over 25 years ago, together we are one. God has helped us through everything and has blessed us. We give it all to God and he takes care of it all! Marriage takes work everyday. You get what you put in it. Looks will fade, you will get older, money can be taken away, and your health can decline, so you have to have more to your relationship than just the good times. Your marriage is your foundation that you constantly build upon each day making it strong to endure all times you will face together letting no man to tear it down or destroy it. 😊
Very. Well. Said. 🙏
I really like this woman, her perspective, her attitude, her body language. She is relaxed, not preaching, practical, living in reality, ok w herself. Nice, so nice to see.
Compatibility is very important
Imagine working the whole day
Then come home & not be happy
You want that feeling of can't wait to go home & be with your spouse
And wont be scared to tell him you made some mistakes & wont judge or blame you, instead support you.
When you need lie to your spouse to avoid arguments... that's the worst. That's how divorce starts.
As someone who went through divorce, I relate to her advice. I was young and gave up many things out of love, moved to the world for him, tried to adapt hard but in the end we were two very different people with different view on life. I realised it the hard way and it broke me deeply to have to go, but in the end I was just not me anymore... It took me years to forge myself back and to be in a healthy relationship where we are both in sync with what we wish to be as as individual and as a couple.
Exactly what im going through right now. Honestly the hardest experience in my life so far.
I can relate. I'm in my heading journey beginning again to feel my completeness in my solitude ❤
@@kTorres007how long has it taken you to get to this point? I wish i could fast forward 😢
Same here 😔
@@kaylaste1635 it's been about 7 months. honestly some days are still a struggle, and I have to remind myself constantly of my own worth and be thankful for my accomplishments. It takes a lot after being with a narcissist to regain who you were and now to create a better version of who you know you can be. Stay focused on you and the things you love doing. Once my circle shrank from my support system, also because I didn't want to burn them out with my same sob story, I really had to deal with the emotions on my own ( because I have yet to reach out for a therapist). Find what triggers you and do your best to put it to rest. Big hugs to you and the persons facing this.
thanks , this is a real Q&A session~ she is very straight forward.
This is old age and experience speaking. Listen up youngsters! Bravo...
Great level of confidence while talking.You spoke INTELLIGENTLY.
commitment, respect, and each other's well-being are what's left.
Not if you married only for attraction/resources. There's no deeper foundation. Case and point is when partners leave when a spouse gets severely ill or when they lose a high paying job.
@@pikalee3492men do that far more than women when it comes to the wife getting very ill.
That's the true love
@@a.m.308from my experience when a woman is ill typically a man still cares for her but when a man is ill the woman looks for a replacent since her atm broke
@@expertgaming That is from *your* experience. I’m talking recorded Data wise- men do it more and have a solid reputation of chasing younger women to replace their wives. Besides, you guys are the ones that like to remind women about the wall.
" When attraction is gone, what's left." That's deep and sooo true!❤
She’s so right. Deep chats are so important to find out what the person is, wants etc
Words of a wise woman! ❤👍🙏🏽👏
My answer is the "whats left" is friendship. You need to be solid friends.
Great advice. I learnt this the hard way. Thankfully happy in my own company rather than toxic, abusive relationships.
love is blind....marriage is the eye opener💯
Smart lady and very solid information.
Yes....I agree with her, her sharing is very solid
This woman is smart and very relaxed. Rare, an intelligent woman.
"When the attraction is gone what's left"
Ladies, when you talk about the "spark"
That dies in a second, think about that. You're missing out on great men because you're looking for something that doesn't exist.
WHEN THE ATTRACTION IS GONE FRIENDSHIP SHOULD ALWAYS REMAIN UNTIL DEATH
Pre wedding/marriage counseling should 1000% be a thing. You might find out you don’t want to marry that person or things you cannot compromise on before making a big step
Yes….and pre-pregnancy counseling should also be a thing.
@@654ujalaThat’s already a thing if you’re married, trying to conceive, and visit the doctor regularly. My 3 children were planned.
It is a thing. But most people ignore it.
So true… had a similar experience and revelation. My first marriage failed when I challenged us to spend 8 hours together with no distractions to see if we could connect. My second long term relationship… we could do 20 hour drives together back and forth to where we lived and our hometown without ever feeling bored with each other.
What's left? What's left? She says true deep words
I could listen to this woman speak all day..she is such a lovely pace in her voice. I hope she knows how special she is. ❤
Finally someone with real advice.... This woman spoke from the heart.... Nothing generic
When the attraction subsides
All that left is Complete Relience & faith on that person which runs on the currency of responsibility
_"if both are civilised and on a same page"_
When the attraction is gone character remains. Once you find the character that goes well with you. You have found your home. But its genuinly rare to meet someone like that
Words of Wisdom...uttered in a laid back fashion
谢谢！
Very intelligent woman. Nice shorts from the interviewer.😂❤
🙃 That means I'm already mature enough to live my best life! I'm grateful that i understood all this at a young age so that i might not waste my life. I'm 15yrs and I've heard and seen many living examples and I've collected all their experiences, mistakes and lessons to improve my perspective and life! I'm already living a beautiful life!
Good for you ma friend;
If you're not friends first you will not last. Been happily married 33 years. My husband and I love spending time together. Do we get on each others nerves? Of course but at the end of the day we know we are in this together and we have each others backs.
Yes!!! This is the same thing I say. Attraction is important but you must also have to have a genuine friendship outside the bedroom for your relationship to remain strong through the ups and downs.
@@Cucumberstopickles Amen 🤠😊
Yes! I wholeheartedly agree! My husband is my best friend and that friendship is the foundation of our healthy relationship!
@@654ujala 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
America Hollywood need to hear this😊
She is saying the truth
Self love is important
No one deserves to end up with a narcissist.
@@marthanomvulamutanga8938 true hmmm
I am trying to get rid
Great advice this woman knows what she’s talking about!
More interviews about human relationship pls ...marriage, relationship with parents, grandparents, people who live around you
Smart lady! So in depth ❤
...LOVE YOURSELF AND YOU CAN LOVE OTHERS .IF YOU DON'T LOVE YOURSELF YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO LOVE OTHER..Love is respect
Protection is needed for this intelligent women asap.
She’s spot on. Especially about being comfortable with your own company and asking the hard questions.
Love her wisdom!
I can see why number two lasted. Probably communication ...
Judge their character...you can never go wrong ❤
I’m semi chilled, but this lady is chilled 💯 I wish my friend was this chilled. Everyday the sky is falling with her!
She has definitely lived life and shows a lot of wisdom.