A Divorced Woman’s Hardest Love Lesson

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  • Опубликовано: 9 фев 2025
  • Divorced Woman Says THIS is How You Find True Love #shorts
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Комментарии • 2,5 тыс.

  • @delilah8476
    @delilah8476 Год назад +4429

    She seems super relaxed. I want this level of chill.

    • @simoneb6312
      @simoneb6312 Год назад +101

      Right? The most unbothered queen lol

    • @razorsharplifestyle101hard9
      @razorsharplifestyle101hard9 Год назад +10

      She probably got a wife.Think about it nowadays we have different genders.

    • @LorettaBangBang
      @LorettaBangBang Год назад +22

      comes with age and money for therapy

    • @LorettaBangBang
      @LorettaBangBang Год назад

      @@razorsharplifestyle101hard9 pushing the agenda even when completely off-topic, aren't we brainwashed

    • @blaccitachi3275
      @blaccitachi3275 Год назад +12

      divorce money

  • @adesewao
    @adesewao Год назад +18731

    “When the attraction is gone, what’s left?” That’s deep

    • @jimj2683
      @jimj2683 Год назад +132

      Familiarity and the police holding the husbands money as hostage if he wants to find happiness other places.

    • @Tyiion
      @Tyiion Год назад +462

      Looks change. Money comes and go. When you only marry for looks or for financial security, there is absolutely nothing holding you together over the years.

    • @saralichty5198
      @saralichty5198 Год назад +192

      I wouldn't say "deep" per se..
      It's basically just lust.
      If you can love someone at their worst, it is true love.
      -- I don't mean worst by being abusive or anything like that.. just their true self..

    • @knowyou5439
      @knowyou5439 Год назад +69

      Child.....left😂

    • @pepitoclavo1clavito610
      @pepitoclavo1clavito610 Год назад +12

      Nah. Its simpler

  • @Betonmeamberlee
    @Betonmeamberlee Год назад +1467

    I love this women sitting back soaking in the sun, arms open, speaking the truth!

    • @calisongbird
      @calisongbird Год назад +19

      *Woman
      Just one.

    • @OrchidTingz
      @OrchidTingz Год назад +13

      She's secure in her vibe 💛😊

    • @galaxylucia1898
      @galaxylucia1898 Год назад +10

      @@OrchidTingzyep it comes with wisdom. Some ppl get it as they get older and more experienced.

    • @RevealedFilms
      @RevealedFilms Год назад +1

      She had her legs back soaking in her ex husband until the new one came along and simped out.

    • @FinancewithGrace
      @FinancewithGrace Год назад +1

      So beautiful❤

  • @CEODRIVEHER
    @CEODRIVEHER Год назад +432

    Yo I want her level of tranquility you can tell she’s totally at peace and plain ole joy. Sis is everything! This is confidence.

  • @DreimLove
    @DreimLove Год назад +307

    What’s left! She’s right! Similar Morals and values will carry the relationship through the toughest times

    • @heatherjovero9379
      @heatherjovero9379 Год назад

      You're right but any one of the two being a good manager if values are not quite n sync can help

    • @KingJT80
      @KingJT80 10 месяцев назад +3

      @@HgfdAers she also said she didnt love herself enough...thats a big thing. if you dont love yourself, how do you expect to love anyone else unconditionally

  • @arunfrancis3505
    @arunfrancis3505 Год назад +769

    That's 60 seconds of complete advice necessary for your entire life. 💯

    • @awill3992
      @awill3992 Год назад +5

      If your entire life revolves around finding a mate you probably should seek therapy.

    • @defnotRizz
      @defnotRizz Год назад +5

      @@awill3992 bro I think he meant it's enough for our entire romantic life

    • @noone-cb3jm
      @noone-cb3jm Год назад +1

      ​@@awill3992who hurt you?

    • @Noneofyabusiness1
      @Noneofyabusiness1 Год назад +1

      Period.!

  • @getoffthisrocktravel2054
    @getoffthisrocktravel2054 Год назад +9232

    She nailed it. Codependency is a big issue.

    • @saralichty5198
      @saralichty5198 Год назад +72

      Yep, pathetic, rather be alone..

    • @MXRiderFiftyTwo
      @MXRiderFiftyTwo Год назад +130

      I think codependency has alot to do with mental health problems

    • @mariafamilia9134
      @mariafamilia9134 Год назад +4

      Yes

    • @janetbolden597
      @janetbolden597 Год назад +154

      I think that's oversimplifying. I'd say I'm codependent with my husband. If either of us were suddenly thrust into single parenthood, it'd be devastating. We definitely started our marriage financially codependent as well. But I don't think either of us uses the other to fill a gap. Rather, in binding our lives together, we've created something new that can't be easily sustained if one of us was missing.

    • @lindsay3793
      @lindsay3793 Год назад +86

      It's natural to need other people.

  • @gretaaarons4941
    @gretaaarons4941 Год назад +765

    She summed things up beautifully.

  • @BboyZoinks
    @BboyZoinks Год назад +135

    She’s saying what people don’t want to hear but what they Need to hear

  • @kazukinishino5200
    @kazukinishino5200 Год назад +626

    That’s the first time I’ve heard someone actually realize they need to be whole/complete before entering a relationship. Lots of people don’t realize that

    • @annikatan378
      @annikatan378 Год назад +27

      That's why Jesus is needed to complete a person at heart.

    • @Cockmonging
      @Cockmonging Год назад +9

      @@annikatan378 you need jesus to love yourself ahahahaha

    • @annikatan378
      @annikatan378 Год назад +8

      @@Cockmonging Same goes to you. The heart matter is up to you, whether or not to receive His love. I wish you all the best 🙏

    • @jakublanca5535
      @jakublanca5535 Год назад +5

      Heck I'm not even complete after almost 5 years of marriage and 2 kids.

    • @SharonAllman-wy5ud
      @SharonAllman-wy5ud Год назад

      It's not that people don't I believe that people go round looking for something that's not there and while you go looking around for something that's not there you missing opportunities with peace with yourself p love yourself holy and completely without any ends experts or inspirations or I need this person oh I need that person all I need my family yeah everybody needs something but really there's something comes be alone and ok that's what I'm going through you know what the only thing I need is myself sitting with me making me feel ok about when you can do that if love comes in it does if it and if you still got nothing p does total happiness within people😊 people you choose to have the people you want in your life there is different

  • @cosmocelli
    @cosmocelli Год назад +4461

    So chill and laid back, spitting experiential wisdom right to your face.

    • @yellowwb4183
      @yellowwb4183 Год назад +10

      True 👍🏽

    • @swatirawat3059
      @swatirawat3059 Год назад +3

      U should drink that spit

    • @cosmocelli
      @cosmocelli Год назад +22

      @@swatirawat3059 You should too 😆

    • @swatirawat3059
      @swatirawat3059 Год назад +3

      @@cosmocelli U use that word you drink .irresponsible commentr

    • @writerforlifeify
      @writerforlifeify Год назад +12

      But it's just common sense; I was expressing these same views in high school. What's so profound about this woman's 'insights'? No one can 'complete' you nor is it anyone's job to do so. Plus, historically (pre-20th century), marriage had always been an economic proposition for women as they had very few opportunities to attain higher education or earn their own livelihood. Women were not blinded by attraction or infatuation when their survival hung in the balance.

  • @nhatanh4079
    @nhatanh4079 Год назад +5977

    Appearances attract people. But the souls make people stay.

    • @nazlife7081
      @nazlife7081 Год назад +42

      Yep good point if one is attractive enough but after talking you don't like his her soul what's inside deep down then one will start loosing all the attraction towards that person.

    • @Sa-od9ke
      @Sa-od9ke Год назад +13

      And commit

    • @kokolatte825
      @kokolatte825 Год назад +25

      And a soul connection doesn't magically make you compatible

    • @yagga8885
      @yagga8885 Год назад +4

      What does that even mean?

    • @ToluHarounAdamu
      @ToluHarounAdamu Год назад +1

      @@kokolatte825That too

  • @melissamoonchild9216
    @melissamoonchild9216 Год назад +1960

    shes got a power stance, straight gangster

    • @Abenajami
      @Abenajami Год назад +18

      Ikr😅

    • @krystalgomez2300
      @krystalgomez2300 Год назад +26

      Queen
      Empress✨✨✨

    • @ms.ajones7168
      @ms.ajones7168 Год назад +9

      Thats what I said😂😂

    • @borntodoit8744
      @borntodoit8744 Год назад +8

      Emperor Philippa Georgia (Star Trek Discovery)
      Power stance, super relaxed & obviously happy
      Listen to this woman !!

    • @lionelcamia3956
      @lionelcamia3956 Год назад +3

      She's absolutely right!

  • @Gannicus-USA
    @Gannicus-USA Год назад +61

    My mom doesn’t need a puppy. She has my dad follow her around the house. He’s retired a few years now and he’s always by her side. They’re so cute Thank God.

    • @DesipetsoIndia
      @DesipetsoIndia Год назад

    • @mariamunker5098
      @mariamunker5098 11 месяцев назад +2

      Is he happy too?

    • @VBoo459
      @VBoo459 11 месяцев назад +3

      Well he’s following her around the house isn’t he.

    • @sharinaross1865
      @sharinaross1865 8 месяцев назад +1

      He is happily following her around the house.

  • @Twin_peaks93
    @Twin_peaks93 Год назад +111

    Wise lady. I find heartbreak forces you to finally learn these lessons

  • @mimio008
    @mimio008 Год назад +1032

    Even the way she sits, you can tell she's happy with who she is. 😊

    • @YourRussiandad650
      @YourRussiandad650 Год назад +7

      This is what most people search for with out being too high and relaxed 😢 it's sad but the truth

    • @YourRussiandad650
      @YourRussiandad650 Год назад +4

      Specially age 18 - 40

  • @izzylove89
    @izzylove89 Год назад +395

    💯 i love the phrase "anyone can fall in love with your flowers, but what happens when winter comes, will they love your roots?"

    • @MaggyKN
      @MaggyKN Год назад +2

      😂😂😂😂😂😅

    • @Diamond.royalty
      @Diamond.royalty Год назад +5

      Love this! Good food for thought.

    • @NoName-oy2km
      @NoName-oy2km Год назад +1

      In australia roots means sex, so if you survive winter together......

    • @stephanieoni7804
      @stephanieoni7804 Год назад +1

      Wowwwww

  • @kimberlytippit4635
    @kimberlytippit4635 Год назад +997

    What a very confident woman! Look at how confidently she is sitting there!!! I want to be more like that.

    • @themaggattack
      @themaggattack Год назад +70

      She's been there and done that and she dgaf about anyone's judgement because she knows whats up.

    • @halcyondays8945
      @halcyondays8945 Год назад +48

      Yes her energy is so refreshing isn’t it?

    • @PaulKapow
      @PaulKapow Год назад +20

      The interview feels so natural.

    • @Amanita._.Verosa._.
      @Amanita._.Verosa._. Год назад +6

      Wow, I am not ready for a comment thread where everyone is passing the vibe check.

  • @carried4567
    @carried4567 Год назад +82

    I agree 100% with her. I have gone through the same circumstances and failures, grief from a loss clouded my judgement also. I have been single now for 5 years and have finally become happy and love myself. Not even looking for a partner. My daughter worries about me but I told her I am finally comfortable in my own skin and am perfectly content. Not to say I am avoiding relationships, it's just that I haven't found that special one that I want to hang out with. Most men annoy me at the moment. LOL!

    • @user-je5nn2lq5j
      @user-je5nn2lq5j Год назад +6

      I hear ya!

    • @jehovahschild4915
      @jehovahschild4915 Год назад +6

      I don't know you but, I love your statement. There're great things in store for you. Be happy, travel and enjoy yourself.

    • @duanehall2213
      @duanehall2213 Год назад +3

      I. Love. Your. Statement....Be. Happy. In. Your. OWN. Skin....& Dont. Worry...❤ Will. Come. In. Time

  • @studybytes5505
    @studybytes5505 Год назад +208

    This is the best short I’ve watched this year. She articulated that so well!

  • @jaysonyohoo
    @jaysonyohoo Год назад +1705

    "When you fall in love, you don't think things through very clearly."
    Most people can relate to this 💣💥

    • @bro918
      @bro918 Год назад +5

      I can't relate

    • @Marius048
      @Marius048 Год назад +14

      We see with pink glasses as they say...

    • @vidhyakathir7276
      @vidhyakathir7276 Год назад +3

      As a girl committed to a men for 6 yrs...I can agree with you 💯%

    • @epbrown01
      @epbrown01 Год назад +18

      Those rose-colored glasses hide the red flags.

    • @octane7047
      @octane7047 Год назад +11

      😂 we cannot think clearly even when we're not in love 😂 People make wrong decisions all the time even in areas that involve no love

  • @guruprasadkasilingam8253
    @guruprasadkasilingam8253 Год назад +2060

    She should be a family counselor for pre-wedding n post wedding, very considerate with real facts

    • @erererer4326
      @erererer4326 Год назад +3

      Sahi bola Jhaakkkaasss... 👌

    • @dhanastree9375
      @dhanastree9375 Год назад +4

      Right 👍

    • @da96103
      @da96103 Год назад

      Divorce lawyers will burn down her office.

    • @apontutul
      @apontutul Год назад +12

      That's simple advice yet difficult to implement

    • @staycool163
      @staycool163 Год назад +3

      Maybe she is 🤔

  • @Claudette68
    @Claudette68 Год назад +929

    I was married for only 27 years because my husband passed away. He was so handsome when we married and still handsome 27 years later. I loved him with all my heart and soul not for his physical beauty but because his soul, his heart . I hope to meet again wherever he is.

    • @Lin6055m
      @Lin6055m Год назад +47

      I feel your pain. Lost mine after 35 yrs of marriage

    • @salviaikukt2659
      @salviaikukt2659 Год назад +45

      Only 27 years? My dear that is a lifetime and indeed death did you apart otherwise you'd still be together. Not many people are lucky to talk about their over 2 decades partner the way you do. And I do hope you meet again if there is an afterlife 🙏🏽

    • @JesusChrist-fz7pj
      @JesusChrist-fz7pj Год назад +8

      There is a afterlife the if didn’t help

    • @PrivilegeYT
      @PrivilegeYT Год назад +23

      He's waiting for you but don't hurry. he wants you to take your time.

    • @basil7771
      @basil7771 Год назад +17

      I wish you all the best …. We need more people like you to make us believe in love again god bless you..

  • @leoalagre
    @leoalagre Год назад +26

    Her body language is just confidence and peace… great advices

  • @eddiemurphy21
    @eddiemurphy21 Год назад +30

    She said it all. Clear speech, loved to hear her. Brilliant

    • @larrykavanagh5197
      @larrykavanagh5197 11 месяцев назад

      I hear her honest Irish accent coming through.

  • @KingLink123
    @KingLink123 Год назад +538

    Not only did she learn from her mistake, but she learned a LOT. She's sharing golden nuggets of wisdom right now.

    • @kaboom6157
      @kaboom6157 Год назад +5

      Yes sadly its too late. Better to learn in the very beginning not at the end of the line

    • @KingLink123
      @KingLink123 Год назад

      @@kaboom6157 True. It is best that way.

    • @rtphotos4691
      @rtphotos4691 Год назад +3

      ​@@kaboom6157- How is it "too late?" Too late for what?

    • @kaboom6157
      @kaboom6157 Год назад

      @@rtphotos4691 because it's 2 ⵏаtе Ьⲅⲟ

  • @Mexicobeanpole
    @Mexicobeanpole Год назад +546

    The attraction shouldn’t ever be gone, but she’s right that there are so many other things that keep a marriage going. We’re 42 years and going strong, and still attracted.

    • @aojorel
      @aojorel Год назад +13

      Many blessings

    • @jimj2683
      @jimj2683 Год назад +5

      "attracted"

    • @mariamaier8537
      @mariamaier8537 Год назад +8

      I couldn’t agree more!
      Wishing you many more happy years together🫶🏻

    • @amuthavalianna482
      @amuthavalianna482 Год назад +34

      Attractions??? Not physical....but discover your partner everyday...and love them everyday in their flaws ....as what Stephen covey say... love your wife even you feel no feel for them...

    • @Jasmin6Aathviha
      @Jasmin6Aathviha Год назад +4

      Woww 😍

  • @rokstarbuwoy
    @rokstarbuwoy Год назад +1558

    Nothing completes you but yourself …..rest is all life happening around you

    • @sappybb
      @sappybb Год назад +5

      My children completes part of my life

    • @rokstarbuwoy
      @rokstarbuwoy Год назад +48

      @@sappybb it’s attachment and affection towards kids ….they and you still can be complete individually if situation demands

    • @Moon-oh1fj
      @Moon-oh1fj Год назад +6

      🙃 That means I'm already mature enough to live my best life! I'm grateful that i understood all this at a young age so that i might not waste my life. I'm 15yrs and I've heard and seen many living examples and I've collected all their experiences, mistakes and lessons to improve my perspective and life! I'm already living a beautiful life!

    • @yagga8885
      @yagga8885 Год назад +9

      God does.

    • @mrsbethaniesmith
      @mrsbethaniesmith Год назад +1

      ​@@Moon-oh1fjthat's great! 👍🏿 😊

  • @Maxime_K-G
    @Maxime_K-G Год назад +151

    That's why it's so important to have the same values and goals.

  • @marathongirl1000
    @marathongirl1000 Год назад +21

    The best relationship advice I've ever heard on youtube! 100%

  • @Elle_C.
    @Elle_C. Год назад +192

    I kinda knew it already, but sometimes you need a reminder to open your eyes. Thank you ❤

  • @noone-cb3jm
    @noone-cb3jm Год назад +55

    I'm in my 2nd marriage, its been 6 years now. it sounds like she's talking about me.
    she's absolutely right, like 100%

  • @flamingpieherman9822
    @flamingpieherman9822 Год назад +251

    That's the same advice I'd gave my daughter. I said if you need to be married or have a relationship to feel happy that is the time that you should never be married or looking for relationship. You have to be happy with who you are and where you are before you start looking for someone to be in your life. No one makes you happy. You make you happy.
    And she is so right. People don't ask the serious questions about what are your morals? What are your goals? Do they line up with my goals? Do you want children? How do you want to raise children? How do you feel about family ? work? What kind of a person are you? Are you loving giving? Are you selfish or materialistic? How do you handle finances?
    Too many people get married for infatuation, sex, companionship and live to regret it when life hits

    • @queenie547
      @queenie547 Год назад +6

      🙏🙏🙏

    • @jimj2683
      @jimj2683 Год назад +24

      I think almost nobody would get married and have kids if they answered those tough questions completely honestly.

    • @flamingpieherman9822
      @flamingpieherman9822 Год назад +24

      @@jimj2683 Well nobody's going to tell you there lazy selfish your materialistic. They will tell you what their goals are. And if you listen without your heart getting in the way and you watch what they do, you'll find out how they view those things.

    • @jimj2683
      @jimj2683 Год назад

      The problem is that most people just follow what makes them feel good in the present (good sex and good looks). Then they keep seeing each other for years and having great sex even though they are incompatible in other ways. Then a bond is built over time that is almost psychologically impossible to leave, even if they really have to leave. Lots of people are stuck in these types of half-assed relationships because nobody taught them how it will pan out long term.
      It is really hard to go for a less attractive long term partner when you are young just because you one day will enjoy that relationship more.@@flamingpieherman9822

    • @rangoman1815
      @rangoman1815 Год назад +1

      ruclips.net/video/YRk1X8fgyMQ/видео.htmlsi=PqxnddRNXRCcxubg

  • @MyBuddyA.I
    @MyBuddyA.I Год назад +37

    It's been the second day I left the man I love the most for those exact same reasons and it's been heartbreaking. I think God has guided me to see this video and what that woman said was exactly what I needed to hear..

  • @WNHTCT
    @WNHTCT Год назад +13

    When the physical attraction is gone, what should be left is compassion, concern, admiration and devotion.

    • @user-gz4ve8mw9l
      @user-gz4ve8mw9l Год назад

      Loyalty, integrity, love, respect/self respect, accountability, responsibility, and the ability to communicate with one another should only have both improved and deepened by then.
      Women need to stop demanding men have high incomes or be 6 feet tall or look like prince charming out of a fairy tale. Women need to love their man for who he is, and men need to love their woman for who she is. Help build each other up into better people than you were the day before etc. Both men and women should want each other for their personality. Not for resources, sex, or superficial physical appearances. Just don't neglect your bodies, and take care of each other in times of need.

    • @WNHTCT
      @WNHTCT Год назад

      @@user-gz4ve8mw9l Yes, yes, yes! And there shouldn't be a need to "fight" for a connection. The only people who you and your spouse should be fighting are the ones in the outside world, not with each other or in competition from someone else, in order to keep your spouse. You MUST harmonize with him or her on mutual goals and be united when dealing with others in this shark infested world we live in. You gotta show respect for one another in that manner to protect them. To protect the family or unit. Both spouses! Not just the man. People come at us sideways everyday, so your spouse HAS to not be one of them.
      Also, If men and women worked as a unit, there wouldn't be a need for a dominant spouse who leads it all of the time. They would know each others strengths and weaknesses and carry the loads accordingly, plus step in when they had to in 'lesser' roles. Men would wash dishes when they needed to just because dirty dishes are disgusting and he had time to take care of them. Women would handle plowing the driveway if it needed to be done or problem solve other domestic issues related to the actual dwelling, like plumbing or electricity, if she was into them. The management of responsibilities would fall on both, like two people maintaining a machine and the resources produced from it, not gender territorial and hyper masculine or feminine we it comes to dealing with living, in general. But those relationships and keeping them are super rare now, I think. Finding someone that you vibe with on that level would be like finding a unicorn.

    • @ahamed6702
      @ahamed6702 Год назад

      @@user-gz4ve8mw9lthe same can be said about men. Stop wanting a woman to be 36-24-36, make $six-figures, gourmet chef, maid, nurse, perpetually 25 yr. old etc. etc.

  • @BrockLanders
    @BrockLanders Год назад +558

    She’s absolutely correct. The mindset of people today going into a relationship is “what can I get out of this relationship,” instead of “what can I bring to this relationship to be of value to the other person.” And when you have two selfish people who are merely out to get their own needs and desires met, it’s typically a recipe for failure.

    • @pinkunicorn7426
      @pinkunicorn7426 Год назад +4

      nothing new

    • @ivavucicevic5095
      @ivavucicevic5095 Год назад +3

      Why do you keep mentioning who will bring something and some values ​​to whom? It can be seen that you have organized your brain in a capitalist way. I can tell you from the experience of a successful marriage of more than 15 years that you should love your partner's "flaws", which are not faults for the person you are with, so that they do not bother each other at all and that you have common interests (e.g. skiing, mountaineering, art, a way of entertainment, raising children - all of which results from a similar upbringing).

    • @pinkunicorn7426
      @pinkunicorn7426 Год назад +1

      @@ivavucicevic5095 well said

    • @ulrichleukam1068
      @ulrichleukam1068 Год назад +6

      @@ivavucicevic5095 Zhat's not what she meant! Her complain was about modern dating being about finding someone to "make you happy" and not trying to find a PARTNER

    • @KhadidjaKhadouj-ur4ke
      @KhadidjaKhadouj-ur4ke Год назад

      ​@@ulrichleukam1068I don't know about this, I never saw my parents doing 50% 50%in everything , it will be difficult for me to change my mentality

  • @palomapenedo
    @palomapenedo Год назад +76

    She feels very free and happy. It's refreshing seeing her talking.❤❤❤❤❤

  • @angelserenade
    @angelserenade Год назад +717

    "Love yourself, and like your company. Otherwise you will keep looking for that piece of jigsaw puzzle to complete you, when you should be complete to begin with."
    That's a solid words of wisdom to live with ❤

  • @helenahandkart1857
    @helenahandkart1857 Год назад +4

    She's chill. Good on her. Glad she's found a great bloke.

  • @Decgyrrl
    @Decgyrrl Год назад +3

    She is exactly correct. Beautiful & smart woman. I love my own company & I am not afraid be on my own. Being by urself, beats being in a bad relationship, by miles!☺️

  • @sofiaoltremare6232
    @sofiaoltremare6232 Год назад +234

    The real problem are liars when one asks the right questions...

    • @ToluHarounAdamu
      @ToluHarounAdamu Год назад +56

      I think watching to observe if their actions align with their words is a major part. Of course that observation takes a good amount of time to collect as well.

    • @sofiaoltremare6232
      @sofiaoltremare6232 Год назад +23

      @@ToluHarounAdamu Yes, sometimes it requires years... Years of marriage... It is not a surprise: lawyers could write books on this theme.

    • @ranjinivk
      @ranjinivk Год назад +17

      Time spent with people can help sort out liars from genuine individuals.

    • @CruzSanchezRipa
      @CruzSanchezRipa Год назад +7

      People tend to jump into marriage very soon after becoming a couple. And that's a mistake. Plus remember always the if s/he has a trait ( or several ) that you don't like, you are not going to make him/her change. In fact, it will go on amplified. And people need to remember that your espouse is not a toy whose personality needs to be turned up. If they think so, they will show that they are in love with an ideal, not a person, and they are bound to fail miserably. Living together a few years before tying the knot usually helps a lot.

    • @leshabenn3368
      @leshabenn3368 Год назад +6

      Google, Private Investigator...you are precious, and need to know who you are bringing into your life.

  • @makatt3994
    @makatt3994 Год назад +99

    I actually love my company 😂 so much I won’t let anyone come in to disrupt what I have going on

  • @jimmiejackson8489
    @jimmiejackson8489 Год назад +326

    You can tell she’s genuine she sitting there waxing deep posted lol
    Carefree with knowledge

  • @xredb
    @xredb Год назад +12

    She's so chill , you can see by the way she sits with her arms out😊

  • @NotYourAvgJoey
    @NotYourAvgJoey Год назад +7

    Wow 🙌🏽 everything she says is so true. True wisdom spoken by someone who really gets it.

  • @rjghuge4912
    @rjghuge4912 Год назад +157

    yaa you have to love yourself so that when everything falls apart you have someone at least with you...thats is you.

    • @letrice2892
      @letrice2892 Год назад +7

      that's not what she was saying ,it's about having a relationship with substance it has to be beyond providing and looks

  • @aceventurapetdetective2356
    @aceventurapetdetective2356 Год назад +222

    Takes time to learn this shit and this woman is giving all this advice sway for free. respect to her.

  • @ItsOurSpace
    @ItsOurSpace Год назад +41

    She is a knowledgeable woman.
    I wish to be surrounded by people like this than what I've got

    • @ditalistdiary
      @ditalistdiary Год назад +3

      Internet can do that for you because oftentimes it is hard to find our kind or has similar vibes.
      To solve this problem, as in my case, I'm following channels that inspires me. Eventhough they're not in my real life physically, their videos feels like accompanying me.
      Or if you want to keep looking in real life, maybe you can start to join community that interest you.

  • @silverlining9120
    @silverlining9120 Год назад +15

    💯 I learned this the hard way and it took a long time.I would be with very toxic men and almost lost my life because I didn't truly love myself and wasn't fully stable and happy alone.

  • @kungbibitawngmahinahonakob5481
    @kungbibitawngmahinahonakob5481 Год назад +17

    When I mention about self-love first, men around me would tell me "Your self love would be useless when you're 50 and don't have a husband and kids" or something like that.

    • @rtphotos4691
      @rtphotos4691 Год назад

      That's gaslighting from men who are misogynists. As soon as you hear some nonsense like that from a man's mouth, it's time to move on. You are more sophisticated than them and if you stayed, they would drag you down.

    • @Darwin_Somtoo
      @Darwin_Somtoo Год назад

      Of course it'll be

    • @SourestCherry
      @SourestCherry 9 месяцев назад +3

      Bc they can’t stand the thought of a woman being completely content without them. They feel pointless.

  • @IndependentPrettyGirlis
    @IndependentPrettyGirlis Год назад +20

    "when the attraction is gone, what's left? What's left?❤

  • @ppjosdet1292
    @ppjosdet1292 Год назад +22

    This woman is so smart and I love her gestures and the way she speaks you can see she's so genuine 💗 ahhhh there are some wonderful people in this world 🌎

  • @lemmesay
    @lemmesay Год назад +40

    I never understood loss of attraction. I'm still very attracted to him 27 years later.

    • @MJ-hg1mk
      @MJ-hg1mk Год назад +7

      U were/are lucky?! 🤷🏽‍♂️

    • @SuperMobileFans
      @SuperMobileFans Год назад +2

      It's mean attraction to physical things like money, looks, assets. Attraction to the soul hardly dies...

    • @paulakinsande
      @paulakinsande Год назад

      So your response got me thinking, and I will like to ask. How did you maintained the law of attraction in your marriage over the years?

    • @lemmesay
      @lemmesay Год назад

      @@paulakinsande He is good looking, I guess that helps. He is honest, has integrity, work ethics, a good heart, open minded, always calm. Trustworthy. I can put my life in his hands and know I will be taken care off. Man of his word. He can be disorganized though. I wish he was more refined at times. But honestly he has 90% of the requirements so that does it for sure.

    • @jayoriona5505
      @jayoriona5505 Год назад

      Is he also very attracted to you?

  • @imdad111
    @imdad111 Год назад +5

    She is beautiful inside and out.. Thank you for this 🤲🏽👏🏽

  • @beatricececilieronna1685
    @beatricececilieronna1685 Год назад +5

    Smartest woman ever!
    Pure wisdom!🎉

  • @iagreewithyou3478
    @iagreewithyou3478 Год назад +113

    Facts. Work on yourself first before jumping into a relationship with another. Don't expect the other to "complete you." If the other person tells you "You complete me," that's a red flag.

    • @pikalee3492
      @pikalee3492 Год назад +1

      💯, that's codependency and not love!

  • @megha_hegde
    @megha_hegde Год назад +66

    We need part 2 of this

  • @michaelkurtz1967
    @michaelkurtz1967 Год назад +36

    Young love is overwhelmed by the attraction so much that the people gets lost somewhere along the way.

  • @joycarey
    @joycarey Год назад +15

    Don't ever marry someone thinking you can change them or help them through their past baggage that they carry. When you take on that responsibility to do that, you will set yourself up for failure!! That person must want to work on that themselves. It's not only about looking for the right person, you must work on yourself as well to be the right person for someone else in having inner peace & happiness. Once you learn from your mistakes, seek help/healing from any past hurt, and decide to live a better life you will find your soulmate without searching. God always makes a way! Never give up! It always happens when you least expect it!
    My life is proof of that! I found and married my other half over 25 years ago, together we are one. God has helped us through everything and has blessed us. We give it all to God and he takes care of it all! Marriage takes work everyday. You get what you put in it. Looks will fade, you will get older, money can be taken away, and your health can decline, so you have to have more to your relationship than just the good times. Your marriage is your foundation that you constantly build upon each day making it strong to endure all times you will face together letting no man to tear it down or destroy it. 😊

  • @lisafeck1537
    @lisafeck1537 Год назад +2

    I really like this woman, her perspective, her attitude, her body language. She is relaxed, not preaching, practical, living in reality, ok w herself. Nice, so nice to see.

  • @Marie-or8uj
    @Marie-or8uj Год назад +53

    Compatibility is very important
    Imagine working the whole day
    Then come home & not be happy
    You want that feeling of can't wait to go home & be with your spouse
    And wont be scared to tell him you made some mistakes & wont judge or blame you, instead support you.
    When you need lie to your spouse to avoid arguments... that's the worst. That's how divorce starts.

  • @solha4505
    @solha4505 Год назад +156

    As someone who went through divorce, I relate to her advice. I was young and gave up many things out of love, moved to the world for him, tried to adapt hard but in the end we were two very different people with different view on life. I realised it the hard way and it broke me deeply to have to go, but in the end I was just not me anymore... It took me years to forge myself back and to be in a healthy relationship where we are both in sync with what we wish to be as as individual and as a couple.

    • @kaylaste1635
      @kaylaste1635 Год назад +9

      Exactly what im going through right now. Honestly the hardest experience in my life so far.

    • @kTorres007
      @kTorres007 Год назад +3

      I can relate. I'm in my heading journey beginning again to feel my completeness in my solitude ❤

    • @kaylaste1635
      @kaylaste1635 Год назад +2

      @@kTorres007how long has it taken you to get to this point? I wish i could fast forward 😢

    • @elta333
      @elta333 Год назад +4

      Same here 😔

    • @kTorres007
      @kTorres007 Год назад

      @@kaylaste1635 it's been about 7 months. honestly some days are still a struggle, and I have to remind myself constantly of my own worth and be thankful for my accomplishments. It takes a lot after being with a narcissist to regain who you were and now to create a better version of who you know you can be. Stay focused on you and the things you love doing. Once my circle shrank from my support system, also because I didn't want to burn them out with my same sob story, I really had to deal with the emotions on my own ( because I have yet to reach out for a therapist). Find what triggers you and do your best to put it to rest. Big hugs to you and the persons facing this.

  • @---zg7ex
    @---zg7ex Год назад +35

    thanks , this is a real Q&A session~ she is very straight forward.

  • @jakebe4915
    @jakebe4915 10 месяцев назад +1

    This is old age and experience speaking. Listen up youngsters! Bravo...

  • @dovednkem438
    @dovednkem438 Год назад

    Great level of confidence while talking.You spoke INTELLIGENTLY.

  • @BachirBastien1990
    @BachirBastien1990 Год назад +287

    commitment, respect, and each other's well-being are what's left.

    • @pikalee3492
      @pikalee3492 Год назад +43

      Not if you married only for attraction/resources. There's no deeper foundation. Case and point is when partners leave when a spouse gets severely ill or when they lose a high paying job.

    • @a.m.308
      @a.m.308 Год назад +9

      ​@@pikalee3492men do that far more than women when it comes to the wife getting very ill.

    • @bawogolde5014
      @bawogolde5014 Год назад +4

      That's the true love

    • @expertgaming
      @expertgaming Год назад

      ​@@a.m.308from my experience when a woman is ill typically a man still cares for her but when a man is ill the woman looks for a replacent since her atm broke

    • @a.m.308
      @a.m.308 Год назад

      @@expertgaming That is from *your* experience. I’m talking recorded Data wise- men do it more and have a solid reputation of chasing younger women to replace their wives. Besides, you guys are the ones that like to remind women about the wall.

  • @MzTinkerbell
    @MzTinkerbell Год назад +4

    " When attraction is gone, what's left." That's deep and sooo true!❤

  • @angelaphilip7935
    @angelaphilip7935 Год назад +9

    She’s so right. Deep chats are so important to find out what the person is, wants etc

  • @keldealmeida5768
    @keldealmeida5768 Год назад +8

    Words of a wise woman! ❤👍🙏🏽👏

  • @grakamoli
    @grakamoli Год назад +9

    My answer is the "whats left" is friendship. You need to be solid friends.

  • @md1972
    @md1972 Год назад +16

    Great advice. I learnt this the hard way. Thankfully happy in my own company rather than toxic, abusive relationships.

  • @muniraakherwaray2860
    @muniraakherwaray2860 Год назад +43

    love is blind....marriage is the eye opener💯

  • @aking1196
    @aking1196 Год назад +31

    Smart lady and very solid information.

    • @Amilygoh66
      @Amilygoh66 Год назад

      Yes....I agree with her, her sharing is very solid

  • @gehanoates885
    @gehanoates885 Год назад +1

    This woman is smart and very relaxed. Rare, an intelligent woman.
    "When the attraction is gone what's left"
    Ladies, when you talk about the "spark"
    That dies in a second, think about that. You're missing out on great men because you're looking for something that doesn't exist.

  • @zamicczsmicc7464
    @zamicczsmicc7464 Год назад +36

    WHEN THE ATTRACTION IS GONE FRIENDSHIP SHOULD ALWAYS REMAIN UNTIL DEATH

  • @mistygreen5335
    @mistygreen5335 Год назад +42

    Pre wedding/marriage counseling should 1000% be a thing. You might find out you don’t want to marry that person or things you cannot compromise on before making a big step

    • @654ujala
      @654ujala Год назад +5

      Yes….and pre-pregnancy counseling should also be a thing.

    • @DeborahE7
      @DeborahE7 Год назад

      @@654ujalaThat’s already a thing if you’re married, trying to conceive, and visit the doctor regularly. My 3 children were planned.

    • @arifbagusprakoso2308
      @arifbagusprakoso2308 Год назад

      It is a thing. But most people ignore it.

  • @grumpyschnauzer
    @grumpyschnauzer Год назад +15

    So true… had a similar experience and revelation. My first marriage failed when I challenged us to spend 8 hours together with no distractions to see if we could connect. My second long term relationship… we could do 20 hour drives together back and forth to where we lived and our hometown without ever feeling bored with each other.

  • @munwwarjahan6056
    @munwwarjahan6056 Год назад +18

    What's left? What's left? She says true deep words

  • @kimsattler3714
    @kimsattler3714 Год назад

    I could listen to this woman speak all day..she is such a lovely pace in her voice. I hope she knows how special she is. ❤

  • @anarizmoore
    @anarizmoore Год назад +2

    Finally someone with real advice.... This woman spoke from the heart.... Nothing generic

  • @Kartik_Sajwan
    @Kartik_Sajwan Год назад +24

    When the attraction subsides
    All that left is Complete Relience & faith on that person which runs on the currency of responsibility
    _"if both are civilised and on a same page"_

  • @mrfarax4944
    @mrfarax4944 Год назад +41

    When the attraction is gone character remains. Once you find the character that goes well with you. You have found your home. But its genuinly rare to meet someone like that

  • @PenizeNikdyNespi
    @PenizeNikdyNespi Год назад +112

    Words of Wisdom...uttered in a laid back fashion

  • @刘雅兰
    @刘雅兰 Год назад

    谢谢!

  • @Cathy7167
    @Cathy7167 Год назад +1

    Very intelligent woman. Nice shorts from the interviewer.😂❤

  • @Moon-oh1fj
    @Moon-oh1fj Год назад +9

    🙃 That means I'm already mature enough to live my best life! I'm grateful that i understood all this at a young age so that i might not waste my life. I'm 15yrs and I've heard and seen many living examples and I've collected all their experiences, mistakes and lessons to improve my perspective and life! I'm already living a beautiful life!

    • @sen431
      @sen431 Год назад

      Good for you ma friend;

  • @tracianderson9823
    @tracianderson9823 Год назад +72

    If you're not friends first you will not last. Been happily married 33 years. My husband and I love spending time together. Do we get on each others nerves? Of course but at the end of the day we know we are in this together and we have each others backs.

    • @Cucumberstopickles
      @Cucumberstopickles Год назад +2

      Yes!!! This is the same thing I say. Attraction is important but you must also have to have a genuine friendship outside the bedroom for your relationship to remain strong through the ups and downs.

    • @tracianderson9823
      @tracianderson9823 Год назад +1

      @@Cucumberstopickles Amen 🤠😊

    • @654ujala
      @654ujala Год назад +3

      Yes! I wholeheartedly agree! My husband is my best friend and that friendship is the foundation of our healthy relationship!

    • @tracianderson9823
      @tracianderson9823 Год назад

      @@654ujala 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

  • @mirembewinfred5353
    @mirembewinfred5353 Год назад +7

    America Hollywood need to hear this😊

  • @VandanaSharma-zs3vw
    @VandanaSharma-zs3vw Год назад +4

    She is saying the truth
    Self love is important

  • @Diana-007
    @Diana-007 Год назад +5

    Great advice this woman knows what she’s talking about!

  • @peachpink123
    @peachpink123 Год назад +15

    More interviews about human relationship pls ...marriage, relationship with parents, grandparents, people who live around you

  • @Wandertheworldwithme
    @Wandertheworldwithme Год назад +9

    Smart lady! So in depth ❤

  • @mariafamilia9134
    @mariafamilia9134 Год назад +6

    ...LOVE YOURSELF AND YOU CAN LOVE OTHERS .IF YOU DON'T LOVE YOURSELF YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO LOVE OTHER..Love is respect

  • @BillyTimes-dw7vs
    @BillyTimes-dw7vs Год назад +2

    Protection is needed for this intelligent women asap.

  • @Kenny-Ross
    @Kenny-Ross Год назад

    She’s spot on. Especially about being comfortable with your own company and asking the hard questions.

  • @AndreaAth
    @AndreaAth Год назад +14

    Love her wisdom!

  • @chrisbraid2907
    @chrisbraid2907 Год назад +10

    I can see why number two lasted. Probably communication ...

  • @marjorienavarro6337
    @marjorienavarro6337 Год назад +4

    Judge their character...you can never go wrong ❤

  • @slimtee2
    @slimtee2 Год назад

    I’m semi chilled, but this lady is chilled 💯 I wish my friend was this chilled. Everyday the sky is falling with her!

  • @melenico4512
    @melenico4512 Год назад +2

    She has definitely lived life and shows a lot of wisdom.