Mauler, are you okay? This video is only 41 minutes long, and not the 12 hours I was expecting. Are you sick? Do you need me to call a doctor for you? I'm worried, man...
Yeah, it’d be better if he waited for a release so that he doesn’t have to use filler or supplementary material and can specifically cite elements of contention. I saw the film in theaters myself and I don’t quite remember some of the details as he describes them or I feel he misrepresented a point or two. It always helps to check facts before you accidentally set yourself up for a massive WELL ACTUALLY…🧐 because you know some fucktard will and we can sully the Longman. Plus it’s just annoying seeing the same stock loop for lack of anything else.
@@archstanton9073 First of all Fringy is either deaf, or it is because of his shitty Australian internet, but he is constantly talking over other people, and this makes him insufferable.
@@CarlosVilltoro probably one part a year. He has a lot of stuff on his plate that he really enjoys doing, but he has made it clear that he will not drop his core videoes. Unbridled series are pretty quick to make in comparision. Last part, he gathered interviews, held his own interviews, dived deep into the production background, and read supllementary material
@@dualwieldroxas358Yeah I get you just the thing is it’s been 2 years since part 4 and hell the longman hasn’t been living up to the reputation lately with noticeably shorter Unbridled Rages: Fallout being 2 hours and this is one only being 41 minutes. Yeah he seems to be much more focused on EFAP and other streams which I do enjoy, just quite a shame his main channel is in a sense neglected as a result but when he does put out a new video after a decade hiatus, there’s still lots of work and heart put into it like you said.
I get that the bird is symbolic, but even the poorest future mining facility would have sensors that work a lot better than watching a bird drop dead. This is so stupid, it's like if the spaceships had oars so you could row them through space.
You're missing the insane genius, it's a synthetic bird! Like Ash, but bird-shaped! It may prefer the term artificial feather-buddy, I don't know, but that makes it super-creepy AND far more efficient than having to listen out for a beep or whatever instead of noticing when the robot bird stops chirping.
"Actually, sunset is a really intimate and private time for me and I'd really appreciate it if you stopped looking at me. I didn't consent for you to be present for this moment between me and your planet."
lol...I love the fan service of Romulus except for how nerfed face huggers are...the face huggers in Romulus seem like incompetent and clumsy enemy units of game's tutorial phase but there are things to like we get some good old fashioned xenomorph antagonist action with characters that are realized enough to get an audience invested so despite the over use of dumb enemy ai face huggers we still get some alien/s fan service story especially andy the android...who basically made this movie worth watching in terms of performance and I am hoping we get the character and/or actor back while this movie does get points deducted for shoe horning in "look at me I am different but relevant bc I introduce a lore pluasible boss fight engineer/human/alien" If you ignore the boss fight and over use of nerfed face huggers this is movie has a lot to enjoy as a fan of the franchise
Early Victorian mines, canaries because they were cheap and easy. Modern mines, electronics because they are cheaper and easier. Literal hellworld devoid of life, canaries would be a super-deluxe conspicuously expensive novelty, literally ever miner could have the O2 detection tech.
The worst part about Andy saying “get away from her” is that this film is set between the 1st two films, meaning he said the line before Ellen Ripley did in Aliens. I’m sick to my fucking stomach, put me out of my misery.
Fun fact: "parasitism" is a type pf symbiosis. We often think symbiosis = good but there are actually three types. One is mutualism (good for both like bees and flowers) the other commensalism (good for one neutral for the other like the small fish close to sharks) and the last one is parasitism (good for one bad for the other).
When I watched this and saw a literal canary in a cage for the miners, I knew everything I needed. Like you said, we already have personal gas monitors for underground mining, but the space age has canaries? What a way to ham fist symbolism into a story.
I actually didn’t interpret it as symbolism. We just heard her parents died from some kind of space mine gas, and her contract was extended. I just saw it as a reminder of the risks and the urgency for her to leave
Do zoomers even get the canary reference? I bet most of them didn't understand it, so they did something stupid for symbolism most of their audience won't get.
They have spaceships and robots that are exactly like humans but almost all the weapons and military stuff they have are the same as the weapons and military stuff we have now.
They don't have DNA 🧬, they are "aliens". There are no predators, there are no LMAO... "Engineers" there is only us, the space jockey and the Alien that killed it. Everything else is an incompetent studio feeble attempt at franchise development.
@@dimitru6024 Yes. Yes it was. Have you forgotten what horror is supposed to be? Or would you rather go to weenie hutt junior this is alien, take your weak stomach back to garten of ban ban
All he did was direct the original. He didnt write it or come up with the story. Dan O'Bannon who didn't work on any of the sequels wrote the first one. And it was perfect. But even that was a fluke for Dan.
I agree although this is a close second: "The scientists depicted in Alien-Romulus are so stupid that they probably think Cheerios are doughnut seeds!"
"When it comes to bad sequels you either get The Force Awakens from JJ or you get The Last Jedi from Rian".... that is probably the realest thing I've heard from anyone discussing movies. One that makes you look back on the garbage coming out in theaters for the past 2 decades and go "oh... shit"
@bigbenhgy he said they were printed. Perhaps they were grown. Dunno . This isn't on my to watch list any time soon. If he's somehow able to grow huggers from dna, it doesn't matter how they are replicated. He'd still be able to alter dna on a genetic level easily.
@@FoulPet the only reason I asked, because I watched the movie and I didn't remember them saying, that the facehuggers were replicated/printed/anything. Of course it can be just my memory and also more importantly it's a very small detail, that doesn't change much in the movie. The story is fucked either way, the chestbursting happing in half hour, the chestburster growing up in minuteslater and the baby growing up in less than a minute for example is much worse in my opinion.
MauLer is turning into George R R Martin, he will do anything but finish the last two parts of the force awakens video series. The only difference is that MauLer consistently makes other types of content.
Yeah, but MauLer is still more likely to finally put out the last two force awakens video series before George R R Martin ever finishes the final books in the A Song of Ice and Fire series.
@@peanutgallery4 oh yeah, can't imagine the studio that recycled the same theme and world 3 times already (and made two successful and interesting games without doing that), couldn't make another game without R R Martin's "incredible" lore. Piss off lol
@@peanutgallery4 I had no idea George spent time learning to code in his time off. No wonder the game took forever, he programmed it all himself. /s George didn't MAKE Elden Ring. He wrote the lore for it.
Wait, cheerios aren't doughnut seeds? Next you're gonna tell me I shouldn't be watering them with Diet Mountain Dew. Look how big the drink made Boogie grow
"I don't see why some new actor. We should get the original Ian Holm to play Ash. Kids want to see the original Ash." "I keep telling you, he is 93 years old, and he's dead!"
Producer Guy, "Well we can just use dark magic and human sacrifice to resurrect him!" Writer Guy, "Or we could just use CGI to smear his face on a model?" Producer Guy, "Yeah, that's probably easier. Lot less risk of being possessed by the Devil and bringing about Armageddon too." Writer Guy, "Oh my god..."
Is it even worse that I liked 4? I thought it was meant to be a comedy pisstake of the originals, but also a great mindless meathead movie. More like a McTiernan than a JJ/Ryan!
@@fokeyjo No, it's fine. I do find Resurrection entertaining, I just don't consider it canon anymore. Ripley's story ended with the third film. Resurrection and the other films after it are just non-canonical "what-if" stories to me. The only other thing I would consider canon after Alien 3 is the Aliens vs. Predator 2 PC game from 2001. Another alternative continuation would be the comics that take place right after Aliens, which were written before Alien 3.
@@Omnimetatron I personally consider it a good continuation of the story. Outside of the comics written before the third film, I don't know where Ripley could've gone in terms of the third story that was filmed. Even if she and Newt managed to make it back to Earth, They would've been interrogated by Weyland for the rest of their lives as they witnessed and survived the Xenomorphs, and their lives would've been ruined as a result. Heck, at the start of the comics (written before Alien 3), Newt is suffering from PTSD in a psychiatric hospital, and the Doctor in that comic, from what I remember, is intentionally trying to extract information from her mind. I also just don't think there was any other alternative for Ripley in regards to her situation in Alien 3, and I didn't always feel that the Alien series should have a happy ending anyway.
"Their birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory" is one of the funniest lines Mauler's come up with. Edit: Apparently it's an old joke that I've never heard before. I profusely apologize for committing the internet sin of hearing something for the first time.
@@prince-solomon Maybe from an individual stand point, but when people say "old joke", they're not talking about an individual's experience with it, they're talking about how much it's been circulated. Out of curiosity I googled the "condom factory" joke/insult and a bunch of posts came up that had it word for word, one from 12 years ago. That fits the definition of an "old joke" as far as I'm concerned.
“I don’t know if you were keeping score here, man, but we just got our asses kicked…!” (Bill Paxton, the only actor to be grief’d by a Terminator, murdered by a xenomorph and de-life’d by a Predator.) I made a deal with my friends in my Army infantry unit, that if I ever got shot in combat, that I would do the whole “it’s game over” bit, just for laughs… gallows humor is a muthaf*cker, I can’t explain it otherwise.
You can't even call it an overpriced fan project because fans would care about the facts. I've noticed that they practically removed any of Giger's ideas but the alien itself, and replaced it with CGI goo on the walls. This movie made me hate CGI again.
@@timothytorigian7932 It's gonna have an entire Logan Unbridled Praise within the review. Though if a DaW vid does happen (I hope it does), I'm more curious on what the "One Marbleous Scene" is gonna be. The opening gag credits in 1/2? Wade getting experimented on in 1? Well, with all the memberberries in DaW, MauLer might be tempted to put in a scene from a terrible/panned movie, like how he used X3 in his MoM Unbridled.
Get used to it, guys. Mauler doesn't need to make these videos anymore. He makes bank off of EFAP. I wouldn't hold your breath for anything Deadpool or Wolveriney.
@tyrgveplaustrum634 I’m a writer as well and what I can say is don’t give up. Use this bad art to really inspire you to make something good. Because the sliver lining to all of this is that bad art like this teaches you what to avoid. Sure you will make new mistakes but it’s always better to avoid past mistakes if possible. Also, since you’re a screenwriter explore the indie space or RUclips because that’s where a lot of creativity is coming from. Hollywood is stuck in a hamster wheel of its own creation and if you can avoid being apart of it.
@@glebbokhan9777 Well, to be honest, writing is harder than you think. It takes a LOT of hard work. Even more to claw your way into the big-time. The competition might not be with other writers, but it will be with time and energy to complete a stand-out work.
the worst part of stealing the Alien3 shot of the alien in her face is that in Alien3 the reason it was doing it to ripley was because it was smelling (or whatever weird sensory sht) the embrio of the queen growing inside her. the alien in romulus had no reason to save her and even less reason to have a staring contest with her.
It saved and pulled her down because there was a facehugger right there ready to jump on her face, I think a lot of people missed that. Anyway, it's still a f*cking garbage and laughable scene written by a complete retard, so who cares.
What are the chances that the writers are just so incompetent, that the first script was actually good, but they trashed it in favor of what we got? I would bet "pretty high".
@@anonymousapproximation8549 OR... They had two scripts and told the intern to trash the bad one and the good one got trashed instead and no one noticed.
I really want a new multi-hour’d productions from MauLer, my wife wishes that he would have done a full length video for the Eternals. Meanwhile, my blood’s itching for the next part of his scathing critique of Star Hers ‘the Farce Awakens.’ Kinda hope he does the fully combined, remastered edition of his review of it, as one Long master video.
It's insane that they missed the most obvious ironic twist of such an overdone symbolism. Have her think about the bird in the cage when talking about wanting to leave the planet. Then during the chestburster scene right as the creature is about to pierce through and leap at the screen, cut to footage of the bird escaping from the cage, flying toward the screen. It's a little bit artsy fartsy, but it's at least fun in a dark humor way. The alien was the bird in the cage all along, and she is what unleashed it.
Disney did it first with reviving Peter Cushing in Rogue One. Then Ian Holm in this movie. Can’t wait for them to eventually revive James Earl Jones in future Star Wars/ Lion King movies. We all know it will happen. Disney are not above doing this. They aren’t even above using Disney+ subscription terms and conditions to not compensate a grieving husband for his wife’s death.
From what i could tell from scraps of info during livestreams, i think Mauler just works on several projects at the same time, and then he hyperfocuses on one that he gets passionate about, and once it's done he then goes back to multitasking So the actual release slows down to a crawl but a lot of works does get done we just don't see it. At least that's my assumption
you can tell how much fringy edited this video by all the quick loud sound gags where someone shouts or crashes into something and then the sound clip cuts off sharply
This satire but very solid review of a movie like a video game is a brilliant way to communicate the intellectual theft and creative bankruptcy of the series.
@@hassathunter2464 This movie is already a critical and commercial success though. I’m pretty sure MauLer didn’t ruin the profits of the sequel trilogy, Black Panther, or Captain Marvel either.
@@hassathunter2464 BP2 was successful, and yes those totally failed because of people turning on the original and not for other reasons (though I also admit to be gauging more reactions from mainstream audiences than devoted fans per se).
The "JJ or Ryan" thing hits like a damn truck. That really is the vast majority of sequels now. Good examples are so few and far between that the very idea of getting one at all, for any beloved franchise, sends a wave of horror and sadness down my spine. How do we get out of this chickenshit timeline?!
Go watch more independently made movies. Stop watching slop owned by large media corporations with large/established names. There are many great movies out there that are independently made or at the very least made by young directors with a lot to prove who deserve a chance to prove it.
@@therebelofchaos1674 Man, I'm on my anime arc now. I ain't watching Hollywood slop. I'm just pointing out that this is what's become of so many beloved franchises that were the basis of my childhood media obsession. That still sucks, no matter how much good media there is elsewhere.
@@ODST_Parker I wasn't talking about you specifically. It was more an answer to your perhaps rhetorical question of "how do we get out of this chickenshit timeline?". That's how you get out of it. And anime can also be corporate slop. Funimation was a good example of that. Studio Pierrot is another.
@@zogwort1522 Never said it's the best movie ever, just that it's my favourite. That, and the guy was talking about watching anime, the rest of Red Spectacles is, to my knowledge, live action. I do however think there is plenty of merit to the movie, and that there's more to it than just my subjective enjoyment.
Aside from anything else. I am really sick of this hybrid plot that they keep going back to. "Oh no! It's a hybrid of a xenomorph and a human!" Yeah you mean like.. A XENOMORPH IS? You mean like THAT'S THE ENTIRE POINT OF THEIR LIFE CYCLE? Hell in this very movie they make a point of showing that the xenomorph they found has Kane's DNA.
I hated this and it ruined the movie. It could have been the second or third best in the franchise but noooooooooo let’s try a dumb idea that has been tried before and everyone hated again
Same here. "It's the 3rd best Alien movie!" "Alien is finally getting back to what made it good!" No. This movie was nothing but reference memberberry garbage.
@@WarlockX4 I thought it was alright, the jarring parts was the anachronism, they established a specific timeframe (before the station crashes) but then depict things that, historically have taken hours if not days to develop such as chestburster turning into the alien and so forth. bad dialogue or fanservice isn't really that bothersome to me though, I get that a lot of viewers hyper focus on the latter though.
@@WarlockX4 Or maybe that says more about the movies released in between PLUS your own preferences. Anyway I knew this was going to be another sequel trilogy from the moment the trailers hit, though I did find this movie to be decent.
So the first Alien film does this really cool job of presenting a singular alien creature and saying "this unknown alien threat is 1 of an infinity of threats in the great unknown that is Space." All these years later and the universe of the Aliens films feels tiny. Everything has to go back to the xenomorph.
They fucked it up when prometheus and covenant decided that the aliens are man-made bioweapons instead of a naturally evolving alien parasite, it went from "what else might be out there" to "david's an asshole"
The "Alien" franchise needs new monsters. Also I want the different Xenomorph strains to FINALLY clash with each other. We almost never see Xenos fight Xenos, except mainly in "Aliens: Genocide".
@@kron7536it also contradicts the first movie where face hugger eggs was in the space doughnut suggesting that they could be aliens being used as weapons or bio weapons but no we have to have a robot hates humanity and wants to kill us all plot line
@@kron7536 the worst part about all of that is if you dive into the Deacon and what David was trying to do then the Xenomorphs couldn't possibly be claimed to be "The perfect organism" as they would technically be genetic defects/failures to recreate the Deacon and makes the possibility of the Facehuggers being on a soace jockey impossible Prometheus and Covenant permanently destroyed the timeline and Romulus was a sloppy as fuck attempt to try and rope people back in
Isn't that Hebrew for "bomb the children" ? Not surprised that you celebrate that considering what heinous acts you people are willing to not only defend, but actively cheer for. Never again? Never forget. Never forgive.
Alien 3’s extended cut is a bittersweet ending that should have been the last story in the franchise. Resurrection killed any chance of treating this series seriously.
Alien 3 pissed me off when I found out the little girl dies off screen which was one of the few compelling parts of Aliens to me. This franchise has been fucking dogshit ever since they made a 2nd movie.
@@skully5063 I completely understand those who feel invalidated because of Newt’s death, but I thought the film was about grief, or at least that’s what the beginning made me believe.
When I went to see this film with my brother, he was giving the movie praise in many aspects. I fucking sat there like Homelander while watching this movie, realizing that this franchise will never be good again.
Story wise it's already been ruined by Prometheus and Covenant, I just see this like a standalone horror film, it pretty much avoids making any story impact on the franchise
@@CycleCalm true, yet they still manage to fuck this up. Edit: I’ve change my stance on this, even for previous shortcomings they could’ve still found a way to make this a well written movie.
I thought it was alright, the jarring parts was the anachronism, they established a specific timeframe (before the station crashes) but then depict things that, historically have taken hours if not days to develop such as chestburster turning into the alien and so forth. bad dialogue or fanservice isn't really that bothersome to me though, I get that a lot of viewers hyper focus on the latter though.
I lost it when the ship controls got kicked and it does a u turn magically back into the hanger it's space that is not how that works if it went on a prograde it would fly up not turn if it was going retrograde it would have went down towards the planet or ring and without a pilot which they didn't have they would have died not even a throw away line about a auto pilot or attempt to make it look like it hit in such a way to cause it to turn.Also magically lucky they some how knew from inside it was gonna turn back into the hanger and conveniently that they knew they had to open it when the guy and his gf were running away why did they think it would turn around.
This is not the 3rd best Alien movie, and I can't stand that people say that. The Alien 3 Director's Cut is superior to this. The only thing truly good about this film is that it gives me hope Ridley Scott will finally feck off.
@@gueratom Agreed. I just wanted to boost the Director's Cut, since I think it's the superior version even with the bad audio in the first Golic scene. I would just exclude the theatrical release from the discussion, much like how I don't see a reason to include the Aliens theatrical cut in this discussion, since Aliens Director's Cut is the superior version.
What I dont understand is that the director said he took inspiration from Alien Isolation but there was literally nothing that was related to the game besides the fact that it takes place on a Space Station. They literally could have made Alien Isolation but with better characters and it would have been a masterpiece. Ripley's Daughter searching for closure happens uppon the same horrer her mother did and has to survive being hunted down through a massive space station not only by the Alien but also crazed people and Reprogramed andriods. Boom. 93% on rotten tomatoes.
Well, but, see... one of the big problems Alan sequels have, including Alans*, is that as per the OG Wayhayland-Yutami know about the Alans, the ship, what they can do, and where to go find them. They have to because Ash knows all that and they put him aboard prior to the Nostronomicon setting proverbial sail. The colossal plot hole hanging around at the back is the question of why in the name of sweet jiggly Chun-Li would W/Y not follow up on the failed first collection mission with a second one? But then, you see, THEN, then you have the basic framework for a fresh (by which I mean not-shit) Alan movie set between Alan and Alans - the ill-fated follow up mission, what we find out from that, and why W/Y will obliterate all their records of the entire affair and pretend nothing whatever ever happened. There'd be a bunch of stuff you could do in the JJ vein - they find the Narcissus, investigate, then set it on a course where they think it'll never be found, for example. Fits with canon just fine. You get to go back and redo the derelict. Memberberries are rough if there's too many, or if that's all you have, but a few good ones are gold. But, you can do a good film in this area too, plus you can seal up that one huge plot hole that no one ever mentions. I mean you'd also have to have a few base rules, like, no one in Alan: Do-over can be related to anyone in any other movie, but, there's story space just sitting there. *Aliens is the sequel to a version of Alien no-one has ever seen. In that film, Ash doesn't know about the aliens, he just malfunctions and kills some people. There were no company orders in that version, the Nostromo sets down according to it's own whim. At no point in Aliens does Ripley mention, argue, shout, demand, anything relating to all that hell being because of the company that she was working for. It doesn't come up during the debrief, she never says anything to Burke. I know, it's weird to realise now, but it's always been there.
One thing Mauler doesn't mention is how Andy gets upgraded by having Rook's brain installed into his. Yet there's zero repercussions for taking the brain out of Rook? Wouldn't he be a vegetable?
I think the chip didn't come from Rook, but some other android. But i could be wrong. If that's the case then it's simply Rook's reserve-brain. Why not? Don't you put data-chips with informations into your robot that are already installed?
They just copied Rook's credentials and operating system. So basically it was like giving Andy a firmware/software update 😂 This is a meta reference that resonates with the modern cellphone/smartphone audience 😂
"They can't find their own space station floating above their own planets." A lot of the stupidity in the plot setup would have been solved if the protagonists were independent scavengers or smugglers who find the space station drifting in space (still low odds, but movie must happen). Then, it would make sense that they are the first ones there, that Weyland-Yutani know nothing of the station's location or their mission. Then, it would make sense that the TEAM has a scavenged or obsolete synthetic. It would not save the film, but it shows how easily it could have been improved, IMO.
Apparently some people have described the thing at the end as the most scary monster ever. But, even though it looks very different, surely it's a very similar concept to the thing at the end of Alien Resurrection.
@@theniceguy7824 so the creature that can impregnate pretty much any creature isn't allowed to Impregnate humans because it was done already? Get out of here. Also resurrection is garbage. Literally ruined the franchise for multiple decades.
Mauler, are you okay? This video is only 41 minutes long, and not the 12 hours I was expecting. Are you sick? Do you need me to call a doctor for you? I'm worried, man...
Less than an hour means he basically liked it 😁
If you take out the stuffed animal advert at the end, it's even shorter.
Size queen
Yeah, it’d be better if he waited for a release so that he doesn’t have to use filler or supplementary material and can specifically cite elements of contention. I saw the film in theaters myself and I don’t quite remember some of the details as he describes them or I feel he misrepresented a point or two. It always helps to check facts before you accidentally set yourself up for a massive WELL ACTUALLY…🧐 because you know some fucktard will and we can sully the Longman. Plus it’s just annoying seeing the same stock loop for lack of anything else.
totally beat me to it
“Get away from her, you alien romulus!”
“What are we some kinda Alien Romulus”
And then the alien shouted "I'm the Romulus!" and Romuled all over the place. Worst shit I've ever seen.
@@CarlosVilltorothis made me laugh out loud.
Geode.
"it doesnt matter how many times we kill them, these aliens are undergoing some kinda ressurection"
"say that again"
“This is no mere Alien we’re dealing with mate… it’s an Alien: Romulus™️”
"Where has this movie been all my life? I wish it was still there." Peak mauler
Oh my god….MauLer made a Short!
It's cool to get something to the point rather than having to listen to 10 hours of shit for 2 minutes of decent content.
@@criticalcommenteryou r allowed to have a wrong opinion
@@criticalcommenter Or have to listen to Rags' dumb tangents or Fringy's voice (he's got good points but it's not easy on the ears).
@@archstanton9073 First of all Fringy is either deaf, or it is because of his shitty Australian internet, but he is constantly talking over other people, and this makes him insufferable.
RUclips tisms won't publish my response to these "criticisms", i won't type it again, you 3 are absolute morons - that's the short version.
Mauler, you don't really expect us to wait 3 years for pt 5 of the force awakens?
"No, Mr. Chat, I expect you to die."
God is A Critique of Force Awakens part 5 ever going to come out
@@CarlosVilltoro probably one part a year. He has a lot of stuff on his plate that he really enjoys doing, but he has made it clear that he will not drop his core videoes.
Unbridled series are pretty quick to make in comparision. Last part, he gathered interviews, held his own interviews, dived deep into the production background, and read supllementary material
george rr longman
@@dualwieldroxas358Yeah I get you just the thing is it’s been 2 years since part 4 and hell the longman hasn’t been living up to the reputation lately with noticeably shorter Unbridled Rages: Fallout being 2 hours and this is one only being 41 minutes. Yeah he seems to be much more focused on EFAP and other streams which I do enjoy, just quite a shame his main channel is in a sense neglected as a result but when he does put out a new video after a decade hiatus, there’s still lots of work and heart put into it like you said.
damn there's a part 5 coming still? lol
I get that the bird is symbolic, but even the poorest future mining facility would have sensors that work a lot better than watching a bird drop dead. This is so stupid, it's like if the spaceships had oars so you could row them through space.
Well let's not get too crazy here 😂
Let's say "like a spaceship that runs on coal"
@@Nokaret Don't make me think about Rebel Moon ever again.
I won't watch this movie, but maybe the SPACEships work with solar power? You know, there are no clouds in space.
You're missing the insane genius, it's a synthetic bird! Like Ash, but bird-shaped! It may prefer the term artificial feather-buddy, I don't know, but that makes it super-creepy AND far more efficient than having to listen out for a beep or whatever instead of noticing when the robot bird stops chirping.
@@Belzediel and bird-shaped things are generally superior to Ash-shaped things - except when it comes to the Evil Dead 🐦🤨⚔🧟♂️
“Whoever wrote this must’ve been a very slippery baby”
I love Mauler’s seemingly endless and very creative way of calling people wastes of human cells
So far my ever favorite is "decrepit omelet" 🤣
Wastes of human cells is a far cry from merely brain damaged.
Fede Alvarez wrote it along with someone else. I forgot his name.
I mean people slip in this movie a lot. Must be personal issues.
The "slippery baby" is reference to dropping a baby on its head.
That dooms them to a lifetime of working in middle management.
“It’s like their brains caught on fire, and someone put it out with a hammer.”
My new favorite MauLer quote.
You typed the thing! The thing that you heard!
That one's going in my personal vocab tbh
So many savage lines lol
@@AC-hj9tv NGL, I came down here to to type "They probably think that Cheerios are donut seeds" is my new favorite thing lol
I liked the one about being a very slippery baby.
"Where has this movie been all my life? I wish it was still there."
🤣🤣🤣
Everyone talks about how the bird wants to see the sun... But no one stops to ask if the sun wants to see the bird.
"Actually, sunset is a really intimate and private time for me and I'd really appreciate it if you stopped looking at me. I didn't consent for you to be present for this moment between me and your planet."
Deep thoughts with the Deep
A-well everybody's heard about the bird
BIRD BIRD BIRD! BIRD IS THE WORD!!
Have you heard about the bird? ;3
"They probably think Cheerios are donut seeds."
Okay, that actually made me laugh. Almost as much as Alien's Rombombulus did.
Wait, they're NOT?!! I'm going to have a very poor harvest... :C
This took me a while to understand... Cheerios are little sausages where I'm from. It is indeed hilarious though XD
They are, what are you talking about?
@@Alondro77 That's only because you didn't make any sacrifices to the sun God
@@kingcosworth2643 But I poured the blood of OVER 9,000 blue-haired weirdos in offering! (Sun God: Keep your trash to yourself!)
"In space no one can hear you cringe". - Alien Romulus
lol...I love the fan service of Romulus
except for how nerfed face huggers are...the face huggers in Romulus seem like incompetent and clumsy enemy units of game's tutorial phase
but there are things to like
we get some good old fashioned xenomorph antagonist action with characters that are realized enough to get an audience invested
so despite the over use of dumb enemy ai face huggers we still get some alien/s fan service story
especially andy the android...who basically made this movie worth watching in terms of performance
and I am hoping we get the character and/or actor back
while this movie does get points deducted for shoe horning in "look at me I am different but relevant bc I introduce a lore pluasible boss fight engineer/human/alien"
If you ignore the boss fight and over use of nerfed face huggers this is movie has a lot to enjoy as a fan of the franchise
Don't you get it? This video is the bird in the cage. It wants to SEE THE SUN!
Rags! It's you!
I still hold Cameron responsible for destroying terminator 2 and aliens.
MAULER IM BEGGIN U PLEEEAASE MAKE DEADPOOL AND WOLVERINE UNBRIDLED VIDEO PLEASE
Early Victorian mines, canaries because they were cheap and easy.
Modern mines, electronics because they are cheaper and easier.
Literal hellworld devoid of life, canaries would be a super-deluxe conspicuously expensive novelty, literally ever miner could have the O2 detection tech.
No, @charlesruteal9062, I think you’ll agree that the real bird in the cage was the friends we made along the way.
Ridley Scott: "I'M NOT USED TO THIS LEVEL OF SCRUTINY!"
Ridley Scott will definitely be loved again for Gladiator 2
It's important to remember that the original Alien was written by Dan O'Bannon, _not_ Ridley Scott.
I think you mean Fede Alvarez
@@CarlosVilltoroI bet the opposite
@@CarlosVilltoro If they reuse "Are you not entertained" we'd better be entertained, or they shall be memed on for eternity
The worst part about Andy saying “get away from her” is that this film is set between the 1st two films, meaning he said the line before Ellen Ripley did in Aliens.
I’m sick to my fucking stomach, put me out of my misery.
Holy shit! I just realised that!
Yeah man, it’s fucking sickening
Are you sure this movie didn't release a facehugger on the fans? The movie that makes you feel like Kane did at the end.
hack filmmaking this is worse than covenant. i cant believe i said that. i need a wash.
dood obviously it's paying homage regardless of the canonical timeline. Yall will never be happy with anything
"If this story was any more inbred it'd be a f-cking sandwich"
My sides hurt.
how do you live your live not knowing how to spell sandwich. you'd be great on the directors team for this movie
I don't get it. Don't you say vegatable and not sandwich when you mean something is really r-word?
@@EbonyPopeSandwiches are “in bread”
@@half-bakedpotato1078 lol Now I got it.
@@half-bakedpotato1078 oh thank you, I was soooooo confused, but too embarrassed to ask lol
Next do The Princess Bride: An Unbridled Bride
Unbridled Princess
An Unbridled Ride?
No I don't feel bad but I'll stop anyway
The Unbridled Bride: A Princess
The princess unbrided
The Princess Bride: Am Unbridled Death (Against a Sicilian)
It's like if beavis and butthead made the script and thought it was genius.
Even they would've written something better.
@@tyrannozillaYou're absolutely right!
MauLer videos on the main channel are the only thing that gives me joy in life.
What about dropping acid?
unironically tho
Ditto and I’m hardly hyperbolizing. My life is shit…
May it be joyfull five hours ❤️
The slop he covers sure don't
“Nuke this movie from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure.”
“Let the movie die. Kill it, if you have to.”
Right away, Lord Inquisitor.
Exterminatus!!
they did and missed they hit the first two movies instead
fuckin a.
Fun fact: "parasitism" is a type pf symbiosis. We often think symbiosis = good but there are actually three types. One is mutualism (good for both like bees and flowers) the other commensalism (good for one neutral for the other like the small fish close to sharks) and the last one is parasitism (good for one bad for the other).
Longman posting a mainline video twits my tipples. Which of course is the only thing that brings me joy in life.
TIPPEEEELLLSSSSS!!!!!!!!!
Tits are also birds.
Jesus, I thought that said "twists my nipples" for a sec
Love ya tho
...... for ME
When I watched this and saw a literal canary in a cage for the miners, I knew everything I needed. Like you said, we already have personal gas monitors for underground mining, but the space age has canaries? What a way to ham fist symbolism into a story.
I actually didn’t interpret it as symbolism. We just heard her parents died from some kind of space mine gas, and her contract was extended. I just saw it as a reminder of the risks and the urgency for her to leave
Do zoomers even get the canary reference? I bet most of them didn't understand it, so they did something stupid for symbolism most of their audience won't get.
They have spaceships and robots that are exactly like humans but almost all the weapons and military stuff they have are the same as the weapons and military stuff we have now.
@SolarisKane I get it. Don't know about other zoomers though
@@slang1517it’s idiotic as symbolism and it’s idiotic in reality.
If the Aliens have acid for blood, how did they extract DNA?
Skin? Saliva?
Glass needle? 😵💫
I'll see myself out.....
...do ya think you only have DNA in your blood? Or was it, you can only get DNA from a hypodermic...
They don't have DNA 🧬, they are "aliens". There are no predators, there are no LMAO... "Engineers" there is only us, the space jockey and the Alien that killed it. Everything else is an incompetent studio feeble attempt at franchise development.
Its worse, how did they extract DNA, without learning they have acid for blood.
"Alien Romulus is like a Greatest Hits album played by a cover band"
Goat review
Is a violent and repulsive pregnancy related scene that reeks of AVPR among those greatest hits?
@@dimitru6024
Yes. Yes it was.
Have you forgotten what horror is supposed to be? Or would you rather go to weenie hutt junior
this is alien, take your weak stomach back to garten of ban ban
Not even a good cover band, more like middle school talent show level cover band.
@@minecraftsteve2504 Scary and disgusting are not the same.
@@virusINJUSTICE I dunno, that’s most sequels nowadays
Mauler finally posted to RUclips Shorts, I see
This video exists to confuse his enemies. Now they can't say Longman bad.
This was my first Mauler video. It will not be my last. Your eloquence is fuck!ng appreciated.
Welcome to The Long.
Catching up is possible. I promise.
Welcome to the toxic brood
His videos are the most thorough reviews on the planet
Somehow the Nostromo returned.
Just like the Death Star II
Nostromo: “I am all the spaceships.”
Death Star: I thought you were dead.
Nostromo: I was!
Dark secrets only Wey-Yu knows.
🤷♂️
this entire movie is about a low functioning autistic becoming a high functioning autistic and everyone suddenly hating him
😂
All right then.
Got a problem with that
I'm autistic and the fact that it isn't even an inaccurate description really of what happened, yeah got a new reason to be annoyed at this movie.
And in the end they bully him into pretending to be a low one again.
The worst thing about this movie is .. that it is not scary at all
More like almost comedy where asshole humans get killed by Aliens
The more Alien movies he produces, the more I begin to think that Ridley Scott getting the original film just right was a fluke.
It might have been
All he did was direct the original. He didnt write it or come up with the story. Dan O'Bannon who didn't work on any of the sequels wrote the first one. And it was perfect. But even that was a fluke for Dan.
Hideaki Anno moment.
It was a fluke, it only happened because Jodorowsky’s Dune got canned, and Scott gobbled up Dan O’Bannon and HR Giger from that production.
Y'know that saying about broken clocks?
Gladiator and ALIEN.
Midnight and noon respectively.
16:30 "whoever wrote this must've been a very slippery baby!" 😂😂 thats a brilliant line!
I agree although this is a close second:
"The scientists depicted in Alien-Romulus are so stupid that they probably think Cheerios are doughnut seeds!"
"When it comes to bad sequels you either get The Force Awakens from JJ or you get The Last Jedi from Rian".... that is probably the realest thing I've heard from anyone discussing movies. One that makes you look back on the garbage coming out in theaters for the past 2 decades and go "oh... shit"
Because most of what comes out now would be worthless by itself so they ride on existing names
If you have the tech to print aliens down to dna strands, you already have the tech to print and genetically engineer super humans.
My faith in Weyland-Yutani is my shield.
@@rogerborgwhat’s your sword
Where they printed? I either missed it or they didn't say it in the dub. Not that it would be much of a difference.
@bigbenhgy he said they were printed. Perhaps they were grown. Dunno . This isn't on my to watch list any time soon. If he's somehow able to grow huggers from dna, it doesn't matter how they are replicated. He'd still be able to alter dna on a genetic level easily.
@@FoulPet the only reason I asked, because I watched the movie and I didn't remember them saying, that the facehuggers were replicated/printed/anything.
Of course it can be just my memory and also more importantly it's a very small detail, that doesn't change much in the movie.
The story is fucked either way, the chestbursting happing in half hour, the chestburster growing up in minuteslater and the baby growing up in less than a minute for example is much worse in my opinion.
MauLer is turning into George R R Martin, he will do anything but finish the last two parts of the force awakens video series. The only difference is that MauLer consistently makes other types of content.
Georgie made Elden Rings, be gr8full
Yeah, but MauLer is still more likely to finally put out the last two force awakens video series before George R R Martin ever finishes the final books in the A Song of Ice and Fire series.
@@peanutgallery4 oh yeah, can't imagine the studio that recycled the same theme and world 3 times already (and made two successful and interesting games without doing that), couldn't make another game without R R Martin's "incredible" lore.
Piss off lol
@@peanutgallery4 I had no idea George spent time learning to code in his time off. No wonder the game took forever, he programmed it all himself. /s
George didn't MAKE Elden Ring. He wrote the lore for it.
More on point, we'll see if George finishes the books or Mauler finishes the season 8 reviews first.
I remember laughing at Prometheus. Now it feels like a fucking masterpiece...
That movie was bad as well as Covenant.
Secure that shit, Hudson.
"Hudson.... Come Here."
@@wtfsalommy3250 "Come Here!"
Hudson and Hicks were my favorite characters to ever come out of the Alien franchise.
Get me outta this "movie," man! 😂
Wait, cheerios aren't doughnut seeds? Next you're gonna tell me I shouldn't be watering them with Diet Mountain Dew. Look how big the drink made Boogie grow
Electrolytes, it’s got what plants crave
“Ridley the space pirate” had me chuckling.
"I don't see why some new actor. We should get the original Ian Holm to play Ash. Kids want to see the original Ash."
"I keep telling you, he is 93 years old, and he's dead!"
Producer Guy, "Well we can just use dark magic and human sacrifice to resurrect him!"
Writer Guy, "Or we could just use CGI to smear his face on a model?"
Producer Guy, "Yeah, that's probably easier. Lot less risk of being possessed by the Devil and bringing about Armageddon too."
Writer Guy, "Oh my god..."
“Yes but we’ve got to do it from different angles! Again and again! And again and again and again!”
He was reprogramming androids on a Weyland-Yutani-controlled planet with my father before he died.
She was researching facehuggers in a space station with Ash before she died...
It's Romulus-ing time.
What are we some kinda Alien: Romulus squad??
Somehow the Nostromo returned ...
@@gunnar6674 They Romulus now? They Romulus now.
Alien 3 deserves a public apology, and I've always liked that film (extended cut).
It's not a bad movie (Alien 3) but it's not a good continuation of the story of Aliens.
Is it even worse that I liked 4? I thought it was meant to be a comedy pisstake of the originals, but also a great mindless meathead movie. More like a McTiernan than a JJ/Ryan!
@@fokeyjo No, it's fine. I do find Resurrection entertaining, I just don't consider it canon anymore. Ripley's story ended with the third film. Resurrection and the other films after it are just non-canonical "what-if" stories to me. The only other thing I would consider canon after Alien 3 is the Aliens vs. Predator 2 PC game from 2001. Another alternative continuation would be the comics that take place right after Aliens, which were written before Alien 3.
@@Omnimetatron I personally consider it a good continuation of the story.
Outside of the comics written before the third film, I don't know where Ripley could've gone in terms of the third story that was filmed. Even if she and Newt managed to make it back to Earth, They would've been interrogated by Weyland for the rest of their lives as they witnessed and survived the Xenomorphs, and their lives would've been ruined as a result.
Heck, at the start of the comics (written before Alien 3), Newt is suffering from PTSD in a psychiatric hospital, and the Doctor in that comic, from what I remember, is intentionally trying to extract information from her mind.
I also just don't think there was any other alternative for Ripley in regards to her situation in Alien 3, and I didn't always feel that the Alien series should have a happy ending anyway.
@@fokeyjo I hated the second one and at least got some enjoyment out of the 4th one. Dropped the franchise after that.
"Their birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory" is one of the funniest lines Mauler's come up with.
Edit: Apparently it's an old joke that I've never heard before. I profusely apologize for committing the internet sin of hearing something for the first time.
That's one of the oldest jokes ever
@@HomeProject-q1x I didn't heard it before. I guess for a baby everything is new.
Bro what I heard that joke in grade 2 lol
There are no old jokes.
Only jokes that you know and jokes that you havn't heard yet.
@@prince-solomon Maybe from an individual stand point, but when people say "old joke", they're not talking about an individual's experience with it, they're talking about how much it's been circulated. Out of curiosity I googled the "condom factory" joke/insult and a bunch of posts came up that had it word for word, one from 12 years ago. That fits the definition of an "old joke" as far as I'm concerned.
Game over man, game over 😢
“The f*ck are we gonna do now?! What are we gonna do?!”
"Why don't you put her in charge?!"
“I don’t know if you were keeping score here, man, but we just got our asses kicked…!”
(Bill Paxton, the only actor to be grief’d by a Terminator, murdered by a xenomorph and de-life’d by a Predator.)
I made a deal with my friends in my Army infantry unit, that if I ever got shot in combat, that I would do the whole “it’s game over” bit, just for laughs… gallows humor is a muthaf*cker, I can’t explain it otherwise.
@@JSPena”Maybe we could build a fire, sing a couple of songs huh, why don’t we try that?”
@@balancedboysMy absolute fav line 😂 I love that scene 😂
You can't even call it an overpriced fan project because fans would care about the facts. I've noticed that they practically removed any of Giger's ideas but the alien itself, and replaced it with CGI goo on the walls. This movie made me hate CGI again.
The length of this video leads me to believe a Deadpool and Wolverine video is still coming, posthaste.
I think so too
Hope so
@@timothytorigian7932 It's gonna have an entire Logan Unbridled Praise within the review. Though if a DaW vid does happen (I hope it does), I'm more curious on what the "One Marbleous Scene" is gonna be. The opening gag credits in 1/2? Wade getting experimented on in 1? Well, with all the memberberries in DaW, MauLer might be tempted to put in a scene from a terrible/panned movie, like how he used X3 in his MoM Unbridled.
Get used to it, guys. Mauler doesn't need to make these videos anymore. He makes bank off of EFAP.
I wouldn't hold your breath for anything Deadpool or Wolveriney.
Shoot, He still hasn't finished TFA. That last video came out over 2 years ago.
*I’m an amateur screenwriter.*
*Watching the decay of cinema both depresses and invigorates me.*
@tyrgveplaustrum634 I’m a writer as well and what I can say is don’t give up. Use this bad art to really inspire you to make something good. Because the sliver lining to all of this is that bad art like this teaches you what to avoid. Sure you will make new mistakes but it’s always better to avoid past mistakes if possible. Also, since you’re a screenwriter explore the indie space or RUclips because that’s where a lot of creativity is coming from. Hollywood is stuck in a hamster wheel of its own creation and if you can avoid being apart of it.
I mean you guys won't have much competition it would seem. Just make stuff that makes sense and you're way ahead automatically
@@glebbokhan9777 Well, to be honest, writing is harder than you think. It takes a LOT of hard work. Even more to claw your way into the big-time. The competition might not be with other writers, but it will be with time and energy to complete a stand-out work.
so write better stuff then
Turn your anguish into greatness
When Andy said "Get away from her... You bitch" I threw my popcorn at the screen.
...Well, okay, no, not really. But I considered it really hard.
The Fact that this movie is being called "the 3rd best Alien Movie" is a good telling of the state of the alien franchise
Can't believe I'm saying this but the Terminator probably have better sequels than this if only barely
@@dean_l33At least Terminator waited til the 6th movie before killing off the child character
It’s not wrong…Alien 3 was a franchise killer and Resurrection was a joke. The prequels are horrible as well.
Sad but true. 😂
The best Alien film we've gotten since the James Cameron sequel was Alien: Isolation.
@@death-king1834 Yes. Lots of context of this film is based on playing Isolation and knowing that games plot (Nostromo black box, etc).
What kind of android naming convention ends up with Bishop being created several decades after Rook? Are they working their way down to pawn?
Yes.
Can't wait til they get to 'Horsie'.
Next will be Checkers or maybe Naught's and Crosses...
OXO
the worst part of stealing the Alien3 shot of the alien in her face is that in Alien3 the reason it was doing it to ripley was because it was smelling (or whatever weird sensory sht) the embrio of the queen growing inside her.
the alien in romulus had no reason to save her and even less reason to have a staring contest with her.
It saved and pulled her down because there was a facehugger right there ready to jump on her face, I think a lot of people missed that. Anyway, it's still a f*cking garbage and laughable scene written by a complete retard, so who cares.
"It's like their brains caught on fire, and someone put it out with a hammer" That had me in stitches
Spend 2hrs watching the movie ❌
Listen to MauLer eviscerate it for 40mins ✅
Despite all her rage, she is the bird in the cage… the movie. ;D
Only 40 minutes, he lost his edge.
Ingrate.
I was expecting 3 hour review
"oh, just safely into the docking bay....because you know....writing"
I love that MauLer only comes out from his main channel coma when someone terrible is really liked by general audiences
And I still really like it lol.
My opinion isn’t changing.
@@r.k845cool
@@r.k845 That's okay, you're allowed to like a bad movie.
"WHY HAVE YOU SUMMONED ME?! WHAT HORROR HAS RISEN THAT NEEDS TO BE DESTROYED?!"
SomeTHING.
Despite all her rage (and autism), Rain is still just a bird in a cage.
The franchise is a vampire.
A virgin with rage
Tell me why I'm stuck as a bird in a cage, tell me why I never wanna hear you say I have an Alien
Rat, rat in a cage. If you're gonna quote a song by the shitty Smashing Pumkins, do it right.
@@LampolukeAlmost made me spit out my drink! 😂
I find your creative, unapologetic insults refreshing. Keep on calling things what they are.
All around me are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces......
It's not a Mad World, at this point it's an unrecognizable world. Nothing makes sense in movies anymore.
I love how you can tell that Fringy edited this by the sheer amount of perfectly timed Simpsons based cuts! Well played, sirs.
Now I want "Mason McSillywilly: an EFAP Story"
The fact there was a worse script that had to be canned because they considered it horrible makes me horrified.
What are the chances that the writers are just so incompetent, that the first script was actually good, but they trashed it in favor of what we got? I would bet "pretty high".
@@anonymousapproximation8549
That’s exactly what I was thinking.
that mystery is more interesting and horrifying than the engineers. thanks sir ridley.
@@anonymousapproximation8549 OR... They had two scripts and told the intern to trash the bad one and the good one got trashed instead and no one noticed.
41 minutes? I’d say Shortman bad, but it’s Alien: Romulus, so it really doesn’t deserve more.
I really want a new multi-hour’d productions from MauLer, my wife wishes that he would have done a full length video for the Eternals. Meanwhile, my blood’s itching for the next part of his scathing critique of Star Hers ‘the Farce Awakens.’ Kinda hope he does the fully combined, remastered edition of his review of it, as one Long master video.
Longman converting into Shortman
It’s not an EFAP. It’s scripted. 40 mins of it. Don’t be a child.
I enjoyed it. Much more than Prometheus and covenant. Efficient set up and satisfying action.
I have a radical idea. What if...
...the bird represented her, and the cage represented her feeling trapped?
I think the bird represents the friends we've made along the way 😊😂
@@DrachonaTheWolf 🤯
It's insane that they missed the most obvious ironic twist of such an overdone symbolism. Have her think about the bird in the cage when talking about wanting to leave the planet. Then during the chestburster scene right as the creature is about to pierce through and leap at the screen, cut to footage of the bird escaping from the cage, flying toward the screen. It's a little bit artsy fartsy, but it's at least fun in a dark humor way. The alien was the bird in the cage all along, and she is what unleashed it.
Disney did it first with reviving Peter Cushing in Rogue One.
Then Ian Holm in this movie.
Can’t wait for them to eventually revive James Earl Jones in future Star Wars/ Lion King movies. We all know it will happen. Disney are not above doing this. They aren’t even above using Disney+ subscription terms and conditions to not compensate a grieving husband for his wife’s death.
@@nont18411 actually, they already did an AI James Earl Jones in Kenobi.
@@JSPena Yeah but he’s still alive at that time
@@nont18411 that’s what I meant to explain, my bad
I’ve heard he’d given them permission to use his voice in perpetuity before his passing. We can clap at his voice forever and ever
Heard they were suing a kid over a name
An Unbridled under one hour in length??? For SHAME!!
In all seriousness, it's great to see another video from you, sir.
Finally, Mewbster took his eyes off of Tipples and remember his actual job is to review movies
I mean to be fair this year has been pretty boring as far as movies go
@@CCProductionsthen do OLD movies. TFA!!! Interstellar!!! GOT!!! Captain America Civil War!!!
@@peanutgallery4i mean, isn't the TFA review unfinished? I'd like to see the full critique one of these days.
From what i could tell from scraps of info during livestreams, i think Mauler just works on several projects at the same time, and then he hyperfocuses on one that he gets passionate about, and once it's done he then goes back to multitasking
So the actual release slows down to a crawl but a lot of works does get done we just don't see it. At least that's my assumption
no
I just found out you are the sadistic scientist in Empires of the Undergrowth. Im having such a laugh.
The "nostromo" written on the wreckage. Wasn't ever actually written in the original model. 😅
But don't tell anyone that.
I begged you not to cover Alien: Romulus MauLer!! I BEGGED YOU. I BEGGED YOU. I BEGG-
Love you tho
well i never did i never did i never did i never did i never did i never did i never did i never did i never did
TIPPLES
WHERE’S FORCE AWAKENS PART 5 MAULER, WHERE?
I do not respect you
you can tell how much fringy edited this video by all the quick loud sound gags where someone shouts or crashes into something and then the sound clip cuts off sharply
Alien Rhombus. 'It's a parallelogram, man! It's a parallelogram!'.
This satire but very solid review of a movie like a video game is a brilliant way to communicate the intellectual theft and creative bankruptcy of the series.
This was refreshing. Thank you.
Mauler: Unbridled Rage
Studio: "It's over man."
@@hassathunter2464 This movie is already a critical and commercial success though. I’m pretty sure MauLer didn’t ruin the profits of the sequel trilogy, Black Panther, or Captain Marvel either.
@@LinkMarioSamus The current state of SW, BP2 and Cap Marvel 2 say otherwise...
@@hassathunter2464 BP2 was successful, and yes those totally failed because of people turning on the original and not for other reasons (though I also admit to be gauging more reactions from mainstream audiences than devoted fans per se).
The "JJ or Ryan" thing hits like a damn truck. That really is the vast majority of sequels now. Good examples are so few and far between that the very idea of getting one at all, for any beloved franchise, sends a wave of horror and sadness down my spine.
How do we get out of this chickenshit timeline?!
Go watch more independently made movies. Stop watching slop owned by large media corporations with large/established names. There are many great movies out there that are independently made or at the very least made by young directors with a lot to prove who deserve a chance to prove it.
@@therebelofchaos1674 Man, I'm on my anime arc now. I ain't watching Hollywood slop.
I'm just pointing out that this is what's become of so many beloved franchises that were the basis of my childhood media obsession. That still sucks, no matter how much good media there is elsewhere.
@@ODST_Parker If you haven't already seen it, I very highly recommend Jin-Roh: The Wolf Brigade. Easily my favourite movie, animated or otherwise.
@@ODST_Parker I wasn't talking about you specifically. It was more an answer to your perhaps rhetorical question of "how do we get out of this chickenshit timeline?". That's how you get out of it. And anime can also be corporate slop. Funimation was a good example of that. Studio Pierrot is another.
@@zogwort1522 Never said it's the best movie ever, just that it's my favourite. That, and the guy was talking about watching anime, the rest of Red Spectacles is, to my knowledge, live action. I do however think there is plenty of merit to the movie, and that there's more to it than just my subjective enjoyment.
Aside from anything else. I am really sick of this hybrid plot that they keep going back to.
"Oh no! It's a hybrid of a xenomorph and a human!"
Yeah you mean like.. A XENOMORPH IS? You mean like THAT'S THE ENTIRE POINT OF THEIR LIFE CYCLE?
Hell in this very movie they make a point of showing that the xenomorph they found has Kane's DNA.
I hated this and it ruined the movie. It could have been the second or third best in the franchise but noooooooooo let’s try a dumb idea that has been tried before and everyone hated again
Thanks for taking apart this movie; I'm sick of hearing people talk about how good it is when its actually trash.
Same here. "It's the 3rd best Alien movie!" "Alien is finally getting back to what made it good!"
No. This movie was nothing but reference memberberry garbage.
@@WarlockX4 I thought it was alright, the jarring parts was the anachronism, they established a specific timeframe (before the station crashes) but then depict things that, historically have taken hours if not days to develop such as chestburster turning into the alien and so forth.
bad dialogue or fanservice isn't really that bothersome to me though, I get that a lot of viewers hyper focus on the latter though.
@@WarlockX4 Or maybe that says more about the movies released in between PLUS your own preferences. Anyway I knew this was going to be another sequel trilogy from the moment the trailers hit, though I did find this movie to be decent.
Yep it’s absolute garbage
@@WarlockX4Alien: Reference is bad
They cured Andy's autism only to give it back to him at the end.
"Double it and give it to the next survivor."
Being in this movie brought it back.
On the bright side I learned many new insults today.
He Maulered!
It's Maulin time. Then he mauled all over the place.
Underrated comment 😂
So the first Alien film does this really cool job of presenting a singular alien creature and saying "this unknown alien threat is 1 of an infinity of threats in the great unknown that is Space." All these years later and the universe of the Aliens films feels tiny. Everything has to go back to the xenomorph.
They fucked it up when prometheus and covenant decided that the aliens are man-made bioweapons instead of a naturally evolving alien parasite, it went from "what else might be out there" to "david's an asshole"
The "Alien vs Predator" theme already have potential, shame they choose not continue it
The "Alien" franchise needs new monsters. Also I want the different Xenomorph strains to FINALLY clash with each other. We almost never see Xenos fight Xenos, except mainly in "Aliens: Genocide".
@@kron7536it also contradicts the first movie where face hugger eggs was in the space doughnut suggesting that they could be aliens being used as weapons or bio weapons but no we have to have a robot hates humanity and wants to kill us all plot line
@@kron7536 the worst part about all of that is if you dive into the Deacon and what David was trying to do then the Xenomorphs couldn't possibly be claimed to be "The perfect organism" as they would technically be genetic defects/failures to recreate the Deacon and makes the possibility of the Facehuggers being on a soace jockey impossible
Prometheus and Covenant permanently destroyed the timeline and Romulus was a sloppy as fuck attempt to try and rope people back in
The visual gags are just so good, the Simpsons especially. You're a master of your craft sir.
A new Mauler video? It’s a Rosh Hashanah miracle!
Isn't that Hebrew for "bomb the children" ?
Not surprised that you celebrate that considering what heinous acts you people are willing to not only defend, but actively cheer for.
Never again?
Never forget. Never forgive.
Oy vey!
L'shana tova!
Is that the Jewish guy from friends?
שנה טובה.
Alien 3’s extended cut is a bittersweet ending that should have been the last story in the franchise. Resurrection killed any chance of treating this series seriously.
Alien 3 is an okay movie, and a masterpiece compared to Romulus.
Yeah I’ll say any version of Alien 3 is better than Romulus
Alien 3 pissed me off when I found out the little girl dies off screen which was one of the few compelling parts of Aliens to me. This franchise has been fucking dogshit ever since they made a 2nd movie.
@@skully5063 I completely understand those who feel invalidated because of Newt’s death, but I thought the film was about grief, or at least that’s what the beginning made me believe.
The extended version actually made Alien 3 watchable.
“They probably think cheerios are donut seeds”
The gems this man just drops in my lap
I can’t explain how happy and excited I am to find another video from you on my feed!! Love your reviews man.
When I went to see this film with my brother, he was giving the movie praise in many aspects. I fucking sat there like Homelander while watching this movie, realizing that this franchise will never be good again.
Story wise it's already been ruined by Prometheus and Covenant, I just see this like a standalone horror film, it pretty much avoids making any story impact on the franchise
@@CycleCalm true, yet they still manage to fuck this up.
Edit: I’ve change my stance on this, even for previous shortcomings they could’ve still found a way to make this a well written movie.
I thought it was alright, the jarring parts was the anachronism, they established a specific timeframe (before the station crashes) but then depict things that, historically have taken hours if not days to develop such as chestburster turning into the alien and so forth.
bad dialogue or fanservice isn't really that bothersome to me though, I get that a lot of viewers hyper focus on the latter though.
@@zetastreaker47 Your brother is a smart man
I lost it when the ship controls got kicked and it does a u turn magically back into the hanger it's space that is not how that works if it went on a prograde it would fly up not turn if it was going retrograde it would have went down towards the planet or ring and without a pilot which they didn't have they would have died not even a throw away line about a auto pilot or attempt to make it look like it hit in such a way to cause it to turn.Also magically lucky they some how knew from inside it was gonna turn back into the hanger and conveniently that they knew they had to open it when the guy and his gf were running away why did they think it would turn around.
Alien: Bombaclot...the Jamaican-ing Awakening lol 😂😂😂
This is not the 3rd best Alien movie, and I can't stand that people say that. The Alien 3 Director's Cut is superior to this. The only thing truly good about this film is that it gives me hope Ridley Scott will finally feck off.
Well, even the theatrical cut is better.
@@gueratom Agreed. I just wanted to boost the Director's Cut, since I think it's the superior version even with the bad audio in the first Golic scene.
I would just exclude the theatrical release from the discussion, much like how I don't see a reason to include the Aliens theatrical cut in this discussion, since Aliens Director's Cut is the superior version.
And Alien 3 is still terrible. Comparing two mediocre films isn't going to get us anywhere.
@bilson7523 I saw a fanedit that combined the two versions, and while still not perfect, it was a great experience.
@@GreenDinoRanger where ?
What I dont understand is that the director said he took inspiration from Alien Isolation but there was literally nothing that was related to the game besides the fact that it takes place on a Space Station. They literally could have made Alien Isolation but with better characters and it would have been a masterpiece. Ripley's Daughter searching for closure happens uppon the same horrer her mother did and has to survive being hunted down through a massive space station not only by the Alien but also crazed people and Reprogramed andriods. Boom. 93% on rotten tomatoes.
@@robertm9631Had I noticed them I would have saved my file and left this train-wreck of a film sooner 😭🤣
There was nothing that even resembled the atmosphere and tension of isolation in this movie. Romulus was terrible
I'd have watched a remake of the game. It would've still been more original than this shit.
Well, but, see... one of the big problems Alan sequels have, including Alans*, is that as per the OG Wayhayland-Yutami know about the Alans, the ship, what they can do, and where to go find them. They have to because Ash knows all that and they put him aboard prior to the Nostronomicon setting proverbial sail.
The colossal plot hole hanging around at the back is the question of why in the name of sweet jiggly Chun-Li would W/Y not follow up on the failed first collection mission with a second one?
But then, you see, THEN, then you have the basic framework for a fresh (by which I mean not-shit) Alan movie set between Alan and Alans - the ill-fated follow up mission, what we find out from that, and why W/Y will obliterate all their records of the entire affair and pretend nothing whatever ever happened. There'd be a bunch of stuff you could do in the JJ vein - they find the Narcissus, investigate, then set it on a course where they think it'll never be found, for example. Fits with canon just fine. You get to go back and redo the derelict. Memberberries are rough if there's too many, or if that's all you have, but a few good ones are gold. But, you can do a good film in this area too, plus you can seal up that one huge plot hole that no one ever mentions.
I mean you'd also have to have a few base rules, like, no one in Alan: Do-over can be related to anyone in any other movie, but, there's story space just sitting there.
*Aliens is the sequel to a version of Alien no-one has ever seen. In that film, Ash doesn't know about the aliens, he just malfunctions and kills some people. There were no company orders in that version, the Nostromo sets down according to it's own whim. At no point in Aliens does Ripley mention, argue, shout, demand, anything relating to all that hell being because of the company that she was working for. It doesn't come up during the debrief, she never says anything to Burke. I know, it's weird to realise now, but it's always been there.
What he probably meant was that he took inspiration from Aliens: Colonial Marines. He just thought it was Isolation.
I could never get past the leads looking like kids that should be going to prom.
This is where the fun begins.
One thing Mauler doesn't mention is how Andy gets upgraded by having Rook's brain installed into his. Yet there's zero repercussions for taking the brain out of Rook? Wouldn't he be a vegetable?
I think the chip didn't come from Rook, but some other android. But i could be wrong. If that's the case then it's simply Rook's reserve-brain. Why not? Don't you put data-chips with informations into your robot that are already installed?
@@lordmontymord8701 That was Rook they took it from
They just copied Rook's credentials and operating system. So basically it was like giving Andy a firmware/software update 😂 This is a meta reference that resonates with the modern cellphone/smartphone audience 😂
Andy was essentially a "jail-broken" smartphone and the Rook update was like flashing Andy back to the WY factory settings 😂
I don’t think it’s his brain. I think it’s just a command disc. Like you can install one into a computer and then take it out later.
Love your reviews. You definitely need a ‘Sarcasm Counter’ in the corner 🤣
Kinda surprised you didn’t mention how the elevator changed lengths like 5 times. The editing in the last 30 minutes was crazy
"They can't find their own space station floating above their own planets." A lot of the stupidity in the plot setup would have been solved if the protagonists were independent scavengers or smugglers who find the space station drifting in space (still low odds, but movie must happen). Then, it would make sense that they are the first ones there, that Weyland-Yutani know nothing of the station's location or their mission. Then, it would make sense that the TEAM has a scavenged or obsolete synthetic. It would not save the film, but it shows how easily it could have been improved, IMO.
Crazy that more creativity and effort was put into advertising Efap plushies than there was making Alien Romulus.
the nasal "o" in maulers "horrible" is the only thing that gives me joy in life
The ONLY Thing?! 🫤
@@EpicJasonX9000 ▯▯▯
Apparently some people have described the thing at the end as the most scary monster ever. But, even though it looks very different, surely it's a very similar concept to the thing at the end of Alien Resurrection.
I wanted to see it eat more things and evolve. It could've looked straight out of Gieger painting.
I'm pretty sure the idea was to be similar to the thing at the end of resurrection. That much is obvious, but in looks and execution? Not at all.
It straight up ripped off alien resurrection. This movie did nothing but copy and paste previous alien films
@@theniceguy7824 so the creature that can impregnate pretty much any creature isn't allowed to Impregnate humans because it was done already? Get out of here. Also resurrection is garbage. Literally ruined the franchise for multiple decades.