Husband Is Hiding Debt
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- Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
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I'm single and I feel like I am learning so much about relationships watching Dave Ramsey lol
Don’t get married
You and I both
Right haha. It really does help to hear this stuff before getting into a serious relationship
Dave has very modern way of thinking he's too passive,and follows the statis quo
Same here!! Screaming at me for opening mail, yelling stupid things at me, apologizing the next day, wanting help from me. Such a mess, I’m over it
I hope so... How are you?
I love how Dave got to the source of the problem. I've been there and done that. My ex wife was horrid with money, so I set up three bank accounts. One for her, one for me, and one for depositing my pay. When the check came in, I moved enough money into my account to pay the mortgage, utilities, etc. and then didn't make noise about her spending every other dime on stuff. Later on, I realized that the problem wasn't so much the crazy spending, as that we weren't a "team" financially. She acted like a teenage kid around money, I acted like a dad of a teenage kid, not good for a relationship.
so what happened after that? I was so intrigued with your post and I kept waiting for more. Mine was different. I tried to be understanding and patient the first 10 years, then more patient and even giving a financial agreement, nothing. Then I was the warden. Who wants that job?? It changed my DNA as a wife to mother and I never asked for that. Then I was confrontational and then the one he hides from, to blatant spending in my face mixed with manipulation. I even had to hide groceries in the garage to feed my kids when the account would go negative from automatic withdrawals I didn't know about. Now I'm numb. Taking half my check to try to pay the things I can. So now I'm just as guilty but I had to budget food, kid expenses, kid going to college, etc.
My ex had developed very bad mental health issues. (Psychosis with some kind of personality disorder to boot.). She decompensated to the point that she thought everyone was out to get her. So sad. So we ended up getting a divorce, and after a bloody litigation, I ended up with full physical and legal custody of our daughter. Over the next 10 years, she saw our daughter via supervised visitation. Her share of the divorce settlements vaporized quickly. (Probably $200K thrown away, to the point she became homeless multiple times.)
I survived with the help of great friends, awesome church family, my family and my ex's family, and several years of counseling. Once I got control of my life, I was able to start saving, have my daughter in junior college now, and doing a second career as a consultant. I never remarried, and just recently started dating again. (I was laser focused on filling the single dad role.). We go on a retreat this upcoming weekend, I'll add you to our prayer list. Hope you find peace! I'm so sorry you are having to deal with financial b.s.
Chas A Unbelievable! You sent through a lot. Your testimony is super powerful and reflects strength, walking in grace and focus. Wow! I appreciate your candor. It's true we overcome by our testimony. my oldest son is on the way to college and that's the motivation for my focus shift. your testimony is confirmation. I pray great things for your future. God is Faithful still
I agree. Tell me about it... I feel like a parent right now. Smdh
I overstand
He was angry because he felt convicted. His response is classic for someone who blames others for the problems they have created.
My husband's spending is out of control. I don't have a dime to spend on myself because I'm carrying our debt and expenses trying to make ends meet. He has the audacity to wonder why I would want a divorce. He thinks I want another man.
aprilracine how are things going? Have you and your hubby both got on board?
You do .... one that doesn't spend like he's in Congress. I guess your husband doesn't want to fit the bill.
Hun.... Not to be rude but why would you as a lady pay for a man.... Let him pay his debts himself and if he wants you he should take care of you.
@@alegria147 a little sexist dont you think? a man and a woman should be confided in taking care of each other for better or worse.
@@alegria147 very sexist.
We men need to start being more responsible, take initiative, and be better leaders in the house instead of taking the easy way out or weakening our trust to our wives!
My father in law did this, racked up 30K in credit card debt...my MIL found out and it was not pretty.
My grandpa did that to my grandmother and she found out after he passed away
My ex got mad if I asked how much was in the checking account...
That is the main reason she's an ex.
I earn the money and then I'm not allowed to know about our finances? GET OUT.
Why would you ask her and not just call the bank yourself and find out?
I can never every understand how people can buy things with money they don't have, I just don't...
Kenneth, my husband is the expert on spending money he doesn't have but spent my inheritance.
Friends of mine always say something like “well if I had your money I wouldn’t have any money problems”. I tell them well I was in your position when I didn’t have any respect for money. One of my friends said this the other day. I said well your going to a bar every weekend spending 200 bucks a week. If you saved that 200 bucks a week, got on a budget, eat at home you could be out of debt in 1 year. Then after that year 1200 bucks a month would not be tied up with paying debts plus your still not paying 800 a month to go drink at a bar. So save up a bunch of money and when you want something you have the cash and not going into debt. I said I got out of debt by not being a fool with money and I didn’t get to be financially free on accident it was hard work and sacrifice my social life but it was work it. I also said if I loose my job it’s not a big deal to me because I have cash and no debts I could live a while not working but if you loose your job it’s an absolute crisis. So you can choose to be broke or be smart. Making more money will not solve your problems you need to solve your lack of respect for money.
You don't understand people purchasing their first home with a mortgage? That's way smarter than continuing to rent.
Jimmy Bob Those are the famous words that many broke people say. They can barely afford a down payment but they buy a house because the mortgage is 200 a month cheaper than rent. Then they need a roof, furnace and the many other things that come with it. It’s a good thing to have your own house but only if your financially able to afford one not just say in your head I can take my tax return to use for the down payment and I can make the payments because it’s cheaper.
@@peanutbutterisfu So you think its a good idea to rent until you save up enough to purchase a house for cash? That is terrible advice. Rent is money down the drain, paying a mortgage is investing in an asset. Even Dave doesn't tell you to save up enough cash to purchase your 1st home outright. Bought my house in 2013 in Denver area for 170k, its currently worth around 300k. It was the best personal finance decision we ever made.
They definitely need marriage counseling.
My husband lied to me about his debt and has not paid our insurance for over a year.
He doesn't have a big enough say in the budget he's just agreeing with whatever she says just to shut her up that's why he said oh it's fine I trust you
She minimizes a lot during this call. I don't think she's facing reality just yet.
Yes. I've lost 2 cars and 2 homes. He wasn't making payments. I had no idea.
Jnia NotABorgYet The main reason why I could never be a stay at home mother without some sort of financial hustle on the side. Some of y’all women put too much faith in others when it comes to your financial security!
I also need to know what bills are going in and out at the end of the month. Have a joint account and my own personal account as well!
@@FuturePsychNurse exactly what I akways n do..my husband pays all the bills,am stay at home mom of a ten year old n twins under 2yrs an I have my own business n charity n the bills comes at home except his business bills go at the businesses, so I know tge bills r paid n he buys ne whatever I want n gives me money n a yearly amount all which I save n invest..stay at home mom is huge job n I aint playing
Rokanaak Banaduak -Very smart!
Thank you for omitting the blasting music at the beginning!
lol, agreed
Oh no no no no....You do all the finances, but can’t open ‘his’ mail? 👋🏻👋🏻 I’d run from this snake..What else does he hide?
Silly me! I’ve avoided going to counseling because it will not fit in our budget since my husbands income has been drastically cut.... yet he spent 250.00 this week on lunches....or uh lunches with drinks. This has been an issues for a long long time. Now I see that I must afford counseling or not much will change.
Pack him a lunch then. Tell him both of you can't afford $250 a week in lunch.
He needs a kick in the head for causing you unnecessary stress! Who has the money for counseling? He needs to find a higher paying job or 2!
Lying Husband. Can he be trusted now?
We grown men can act like kids sometimes, 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
lol @ "What did he buy?" I wanted to know that too.
yeah $3,000 isn't a tiny number
I assume it is a bunch of sports & outdoor items that she has no particular interest in, thus she does not remember what specifically was bought. Just an assumption though.
"Less than we owe", OMG! What a cluster.
This guy is cheating...
4:11 SO WHATS YOUR QUESTION
MadMax 2472 😂
Thank you!
No, Dave, just because you're married doesn't mean your spouse can/should open mail that's addressed to you.
Ugh, can she just get to the point? Your escrow statement from the bank that holds your other mortgage has nothing to do with this. This is the kind of woman whose husband is likely to just go along with whatever she is demanding, since it's the only way to shut off the flood of verbiage.
He needs to step up a bit and she needs to cool down a bit
Her husband...uggh! 🤥😒
She chose him.
He sounds very controlling
Guns...the husband bought guns. Wife was trying to be PC.
I am betting when she says "I do the finances" that translates to she did not include her husband in creating the budget, how much he has to spend each month or pretty much any other decision. And this was his way of rebelling against her for that. They are both equally to blame. She treats him as a child and he is acting like a teenager
I hope the couple got help. Now I agree the mail had his name on it and she shouldn't open it but if she haven't she wouldn't know her husband a man she trust took out six credit cards out.
He spends because he want to tick her off and doesn't want to grow up and say " hey I don't want live our lives like this anymore let's get debt free." I hope they couple was able to be debt and saved their marriage.
She's stammering too much for this to be the whole truth.
Add all the "I"s and it's cemented.
how did he get exercise equipment with out her noticing
He would claim, lie, that he paid cash.
If she did see it he’d just say someone he knows gave/lent it to him. Liars always lie no matter the size of the lie. It’s a sickness. My dad lied about everything my entire childhood and my s.o. did the same thing for 15+ years and spent all my $ to boot. Finally got out now I’m paying off my car, c.c. etc and I tell him I could’ve never done this before bc he has a spending addiction.
It sounds like they're already divorced. I wish them well
Dave was doing as well as he deserved for once lol
She’s the dominant one in the relationship
Shes the mature responsible one
hahaahah I know people who signed mortgages for their spouse
Never
What kind of woman is she that he's afraid to be open with her? In our family we talk about spending, but if one of us spends $3000, so what? We would have talked about it, but I won't be angry or make a big deal if wifey does. I suppose that they're at a different time of life and amounts are smaller (I remember it); my concern though is about their relationship. Why does he want to hide it?
And as for opening the mail, just as a courtesy we show each other our mail but we don't open anything addressed solely to the other. A lot of it's junk anyway.
What kind of a woman? What kind of a question is that? He could be a narcissist and hiding other things too. I discovered two maxed out credit lines that my husband opened in his name only and it was all of my fault because of the stupid budget that we sat down and done up together. I was the one who paid the bills and did the grocery shopping as he had no interest in the finances, therefore, he blamed me for his need to open up to lines of credit. Obviously there is no more trust. You are lucky that you have a relationship where you both share and not hide things, I'm envious of that.
Julie Nickerson -This is so stressful because if he doesn’t change, he will continue to commit financial sabotage and you and your kids will suffer for it. Imagine facing retirement with cc debt, a mortgage, and little savings. This is a major problem.
Remember, he's a multimillionaire so that makes Dave an expert on everything. Go ask Bill Gates.
Hiding money - wrong, hiding debt - wrong, when you people are going to be happy.
He cheating sis...
It's his mail...I so want to too.
Calling in to radio while chomping on gum. It is gross.
dump him
"My husband's spending is out of control, he hid $3000 in debt from me... I do control the finances though and give him a $25 allowance every week... And we're underwater on a second house that I bought but MY HUSBAND IS THE PROBLEM."
Guaranteed he's cheating on her too.
The man feels emasculated and so he resents her.
🤣🙄
He resents her because she knows he is letting them both down
He needs to grow up and grow a pair! She needs a man-not a man child to be head of the house!
This wife is a control freak. So obvious. Bet they are divorced now.
She has future goals for them! And he keeps lying and racking up debt
San Dave Ramsey perdona nuestras ofensas
Hello, I have a question: will I ever be responsible for any debts my husband has had before we got married?
Cris Oliveira In the 🇬🇧 your debts become as one once your married weather you got them before OR after
She married a feminine man,this is what masculine women attract.
Never get married!!!
good words to live by
Andre Lange
Mgtow
No, just choose wisely.
No. Just realize your choice of a spouse is the single most important factor in the kind of life you’re going to have. So choose carefully.
MGTOW
Yep, nothing like being being broke while going your own way (if you ever actually go.)
Vydio 😂😂
Mary S don’t you get it Mary- the woman is ALWAYS to blame 🤭🤣😉
@@sarahengert4541 that stupid group is starting to be a cancer on the internet 🤣 it's like we get it you don't want to par take in society gtfoh already....