Having watched your videos for a bit, I went to the family Christmas party. I saw things in the behavior of the males, I’d not noticed before. I saw the subtle contempt my niece’s boyfriend treated her with and her acceptance of it. I saw how thrilled everyone was with the birth of a new boy, while never acting like this over the birth of any of our girls all the while my nephew crowing about how he has a legacy now (he already has 2 girls). I love my brothers but how did I miss their incredible sexism before? Thank you for everything you do.
Watching these videos helps me understand myself and then forgive myself. No wonder I used to think and act in a certain way, there were so many factors in my life that influenced me to be an insecure pick-me. I strove to be the ideal in so many ways and that meant believing in the ideals that were show to me, and those ideals were from the patriarchy! I'll be thinking about this for years.
It wasn't until my mid 20s till I realized social perfection is participating in lose-lose self-harm game, that is always rigged against you if you play. There is no perfection for women as we're always too much this or that, too loud, too quiet, too brazen, too prude etc. I embrace being imperfect, mean and rude nowadays, only people pleasing for those who pour back.
Ive never had the compulsion to fit on even as a teen. As a woman in her 40s i realise i make people uncomfortable both women and men because i don't seek validation. I live life being kind, not nice, and minding my business. Why do i need to conform when there is only one me. Any time I've given in especially to my mum (she loves to conform) i have regretted it immensely. Id rather be alone and at peace than conform and lose myself.
You and me both. I also don't need anyone to applaud what I'm doing. I am also kind but not nice. And it irks people when a woman is about that energy. Society needs is in our pick me energy so that they can exploit us.
I am similar but a little bit different than you. I have never seek validation but was extremely generous to people (almost like a pick me) possibly because of my ADHD. And people hate me even more than a regular pick me because they dont only want to take advantage of women they also want women be insecure. Now im 30 and learned my lesson. I choose wisely and dont give anything to those mediocre people and interestingly they now try to earn my validation 😂
@ahsenaktitiz9163 girl, I'm like that that too. I'm impulsive with my kind acts and then people look at me like 'so you think you are all that, huh?" I've had to learn to mind my own business now coz it's getting ridiculous. People can't stand kindness with no other agenda coz THEY WOULDN'T DO THE SAME FOR YOU. So they hate being indebted to you and yet they hate you 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤭🙈 I've had to learn to clock that jealous eye and curbing the association quick fast.
@@wanjirunjoroge5942 I reserve human aesthetic compliments for a girlfriend or wife. One exception is a bride on her Wedding day. I think it's unhealthy how some cultures do this a lot and I swear it inadvertently builds emotional dependency for continued validation. If it stops or declines it can be really damaging. Should we be doing this at all?
This channel is phenomenal. Discovered it this morning and I’m binging it all. I’m a dude who’s always felt completely apart from male culture. I could never compete in the male hierarchy because I was ‘too sensitive’, which meant I never dated as a teenager because I simply had no self-worth, but I couldn’t hate women because I naturally became friends with so many of them…because they were just kinder people that I related to better. No bravado. I’ve had one failed marriage because of my extreme anxious attachment. 5 years single and celibate. Insane amount of inner work. I think I’m getting pretty close to being the source of all my own validation and learning exactly what healthy attraction is, but damn, you are LEAGUES ahead of the majority of the conversation. Excellent stuff. Can’t wait to watch more.
It's annoying how they say "not all men are like this", yet they never bat an eye when people say "all women do this" and will even double down when someone says "not all women". Men are insatiable.
@@VeeKayGreenerGrassI used to watch him but I truly believe he doenst tell the whole truth about men because he still wants access to his wife. He’s a man, he understand who men actually are and the nature of them but he parrots the socialization argument for that reason. Read “What Men Don't Want Women To Know: The Secrets, The Lies, The Unspoken Truth Book” by Bill Doe and Mike Smith. THATS who men actually are but TPO will never tell you this because again, he doesn’t wanna lose access to his wife 🤷♀️
At first it is socialization but at some point it becomes a CHOICE. We all know what is right from wrong. But as grown adults the ego/selfishness will make a person choose the wrong side. Saying that its only socialization is giving excuses to how men have treated women and children for CENTURIES!!!!
I agree, society is also socialized to be homophobic and all these others isms and phobias yet they go out of there way to work on it (yes I know people are still homophobic, racist, etc) but it seems like misogyny is one of the most acceptable forms of bigotry since it comes from every group including other marginalized people.
@@DeCenter3veryone_CenterUrSelf It's global, touches every socioeconomic and political class, it's not a coincidence. There are certainly things beyond socialization, like being prone to addictions and violent behaviors, it goes across species, no one is putting males on pedestal as much as humans for a good reason that can't be socialized away.
It’s as simple as looking at how men evolved. Men didn’t evolve to live in harmony with one enough, they are competitors and the strongest male wins. This is literally the direct set up of society except “strong” has extended beyond physical and it is mental. To simply blame socialization is ignoring the way men have evolved.
Another banger. We raised both our kids without gender norms and it was wild how quickly the kids at school forced them to suppress it. Both of my kids struggle to find friends because they don’t understand what’s wrong with everyone 😂😂
I learned a while ago no one can make me feel “good enough” or secure. It’s all internal and everything I do is to prove to myself I can keep achieving higher goals. Men need to stop seeking validation from other men and learn to work on themselves- but we know they won’t 🤷🏼♀️
@@RedDeadReverie I understand where you're coming from. Many men compete against each other. I had a hard time growing up understanding if some of my friends were just wanting to compete against me. It's sad as I felt I couldn't bond with them as they were always trying to be the 'big' grown up man. They wasted so much energy and talent on irrelevant things. Never accomplish what would give them a real sense of satisfaction and potentially lifelong joy. I knew I was different and perhaps, didn't belong in my peer group. They could be great partners and potential husbands but don't get there as they end up damaged and unsatisfied with their lives.
I am so glad i agrd out. You would think that not getting male attention us bad but when they leave you alone. You feel free and unencumbered. I am telling you. There is no stress to meet anyone standard but your own. Especially when you are wealthy and have no obligations. Ladies i tell you. It is not worth seeking male validation. It less valuable than dirt.
Thank you for this! I’ve been wondering about this for you, you seem too smart for most if not all, men. I divorced in my 30’s and being a wife was never really for me, though I caved in to societal pressures. I hated being married. Even as a child I didn’t fantasize about marriage or having babies, so this life of mine turning against the Patriarchy came naturally. Now in my 50’s I’m still enjoying being Single and only have male friends who truly get it and are okay with me calling them out when necessary.
@@sassyparilla it's good you can do this with male friends. I think it's a strategy that others could try. Although, I appreciate it could be a bit of a 'judgement call'.
You have helped me to really understand why so many men will choose partners who don't even like them just for the clout of male validation. 😂😂😂 and why no matter how badly I behave to some men, they are stuck on me 😂😂😂😂
@@Coco-fi4mvI’m not sure everyone is so sure she doesn’t like him when he’s been living with her for multiple years and she moved around with him as he jumped schools.
@@1ReikiFloW There are videos on your channel about dealing with low vibrational men, so what is your particular grip with other women taking the time to do the same with a different lens? There's something here that clearly agitates and resonates with your spirit.
I have been trying to find the wording to solidify what I require of a man if I am to partner with him and you said it best , “he has to realize that there’s nothing in the patriarchy for him”. Truly the worst atrocities in a relationship towards women lies in men proving themselves to the patriarchy. It also helps me feel free from the burden because it truly is not something I can do for them, they have to walk that road themselves.
This is also interesting from an Autistic pov, given how we often have to be emotionally or physically brutalised into ‘conforming’ (ABA is just one example of this)- it explains why the patriarchy has such a problem with us, when ‘demand avoidance’ ( or Drive for Autonomy, more rightfully) makes us very naturally more along on the ‘immune to empire’ spectrum and that’s bad news for dominator capitalist patriarchy. We’re not ‘good worker drones’.
My dad was like yours. I am so grateful for him and my mother, who made sure my sisters and I went to all girl schools. I was saved from the brunt of this socialization early on. Makes it a bit hard to date 😅 but I wouldn't have it any other way.
In some cases you don't even age out of the system. How you look (beauty standards wise), that's how they treat you. If you don't look a certain way they are not going to give a s*** about you either. Looks are SO IMPORTANT to them, you could be five years old and if you are seen as "ugly" boys/men anyone will not give a s*** about. I heard stories also I have seen it happen in front of me.
Look at how kids treat one another if they’re different that other kids, especially if they have a physical disability or they’re overweight. Kids are fucking mean, and it just reflects on their parents really.
@@XX-le1wn we have to be fully honest here and admit women are doing it too. At my work Christmas party one of the women was mentioning the ages of the other women across the table to a female colleague. The narrative was revolving around how young they looked for their age. I found it strange as I can't imagine men doing this. Although, I appreciate men's rate of body dysmorphia is increasing rapidly and there are pressures on them too. Some women pedestal other women based on appearance.
@@XX-le1wn we have to be fully honest here and admit women are doing it too. At my work Christmas party one of the women was mentioning the ages of the other women across the table to a female colleague. The narrative was revolving around how young they looked for their age. I found it strange as I can't imagine men doing this. Although, I appreciate men's rate of body dysmorphia is increasing rapidly and there are pressures on them too. Women pedestal other women based on appearance.
@@XX-le1wn we have to be fully honest here and admit women are doing it too. At my work Christmas party one of the women was mentioning the ages of the other women across the table to a female colleague. The narrative was revolving around how young they looked for their age. I found it strange as I can't imagine men doing this. Although, I appreciate men's rate of body dysmorphia is increasing rapidly and there are pressures on them too. Women pedestal other women based on appearance.
@@XX-le1wn we have to be fully honest here and admit women are doing it too. At my work Christmas party one of the women was mentioning the ages of the other women across the table to a female colleague. The narrative was revolving around how young they looked for their age. I found it strange as I can't imagine men doing this. Although, I appreciate men's rate of body dysmorphia is increasing rapidly and there are pressures on them too. Women pedestal other women based on appearance.
I don’t know if you touched on this but could you discuss what is up with some men putting down women with daddy issues? I’ve seen some men making gross comments on the subject.
I couldn't thank you enough for this. It's the clearest, most brilliant and enlightenning breakdown without resorting to "not my guy" defense. And yes, there are no exceptions.
I actually disagree with this. Yes men are socialized a certain way and yes they are insecure. However at the end of the day it boils down to being a good person, or not. Everyone on this planet has the ability to choose what sort of person they want to be. Men choose to do evil because that's who they are. A good man is a good man regardless of insecurity and socialization. And yes i am fully aware that the amount of good men is slim to none. But at the end of the day, it's a choice
Being a good person has never make sense the way they put it and You neither does, instead of what You think it means what they mean by being a good person is being a dormant, thats what they want You to be a good person
@@mangostring What? Being good is doing net positive things to society and not actively hurting weaker than you. You can be very active doing that. Just have a moral code and some self-love that won't let you fall off the deep end.
This is an awesome breakdown and so well-articulated!! Thank you! Please do list the other creators you mentioned who are doing the work...there are several men in my life who could use resources like that.
There are always exceptions to the rule, that is the rule, there are no exceptions to that rule, or else the exceptions wouldn't constitute the rule, EXCEPTIONS
@ did you even read my comment? I said i know there are no good men but there is a spectrum from worse to better although they are all bad. Eg her husband. And I edited the comment before you replied because i had to delete the “as a female part” after how to find a male partner partner because then it sounded like i meant i was else’s socialised and less evil. So don’t try to say that I edited my comment after you said that
This comment is exactly why lying to women about it being socialization is so dangerous. It has y’all holding onto hope that this isn’t who men are biologically and it’s possible to find a “decent” man. There’s nothing YOU can do to find a man who isn’t like this unless you quite literally, win the lottery. It’s called random chance. That’s how you get him.
@@zooweellama Men aren’t like this biologically. Its because of socialisation. And i know because I am from Turkey where men are much more animalistic and want to assert dominance, and i live in a western country where men are more respectful (still not good but better than the Middle East).
@@patrickbateman6080 Have you ever read Lord of the Flies? Or Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft? Or See What You Made Me Do by Jess Hill? So many of the men reported in the media for unaliving their partners and children were ‘lovely’ men, neighbours had ‘no idea’ of the hell the families were living in- you need to see beyond the appearances, learn to discern the more subtle signs. They are very, very good at convincing _themselves_ that they’re ‘good guys’ but the western DV and femicide statistics paint a very different picture. I also recommend reading The Gate to Women’s Country by Sheri S Tepper for more ideas on how this plays out.
I mean at the end of the day. The , "there are exceptions' rule still applies then. Because we are all on a spectrum of socialisation. Men and women. So there basically still are "exceptions" . Whether they are a common or not is another story
@@joanofarcxxi yeah word. I get where shes coming from but she didnt explain how it isnt an exception. It almost sounded like shes trying to present it in a way that made it seem like there are never exceptions.
@@KateeAngel so is *psychiatry* . Individuals resonate with what individuals resonate with- at least the MBTI and human design don’t _actively harm, lobotomise or unalive others_ . Mmm.
@@KateeAngel Dario Nardi has studied the neuroscience behind the MBTI and studies has shown that certain regions of the brain does light up differently in one situation for the different types. So, MBTI is now moving on to being studied as a type of brain functioning.
As a black man, it's "all" white people until I am shown diffetently. I create mental space for white people to show up as they are and I believe their actions. I think the word "exception" is tricky. If a man is a true ally of women, he probably wasn't born that way. He actively challenged beliefs he was raised with and societal norms that he was conditioned into. He did not come out of his youth untouched. Rather he put in the inner work and challenges those toxic norms daily. I think at most being a self-aware person is rare and depends greatly on how one was raised. America voted for Trump though so my opinion of my fellow citizens isnt particularly hopeful. Best to just be slightly on guard when dealing with men. It's just good sense.
Who socialize the socialized? How the hatred of men for women are so generalized? Are men really good inside and, if we give them a chance and raise them “correctly” (of course it's their mothers to blame), this goodness can flourish? Of course those are rhetorical questions. It's all and every men indeed.
I don’t know who need to tell y’all but the “socialization” argument is wishful thinking. The strength difference between men and women is the start of all this. Why did men evolve to be bigger then women? If it was to compete with other males, then how does this not literally explain patriarchy? The strongest at the top, the weakest at the bottom. Due to women’s lack of strength, we are at the bottom. Boom you have patriarchy. Patriarchy is a man made set up that DIRECTLY reflects the biology of men. The conquers of society. The truth is, you have to socialized them to be the opposite of that. You have to brainwash men to have empathy. Society is not brainwashing men to be bad people, society is simply encouraging men to be THEMSELVES.
@@1ReikiFloWif the truth keeps you in “low vibes” then maybe you need to work through it with a therapist because the truth has inspired me to create a better life for myself AWAY from men cuz I know who they are. 🤷♀️
definition of adult man as per M.W. Dictionary: 1 : fully developed and mature : grown-up an adult lion I realize buzz words and polarizing content makes a few bucks for those who create such videos but karma always remembers who did what and repays back accordingly. Much luck~
yes and no. socialization has many more layers than only incrementing insecurity in either sex. yes this phenomenon exists. No, the explanation does not account for interactions where cooperation and genuine expression in a social setting decrease insecurity and increase authenticity. yes inner validation trumps everything however your inner value is only good for you to hold on to your north while adding value to society and seeing how that value is accepted and used by others. in short - you produce things for others around you, this forms a better society, but your motivation should not be based on them approving of you, rather you enjoying the process (inner bound), and seeing the benefits of that which you produce. socialization that you describe must be corrected by others and yourself to arrive at a higher and more refined version of socializing where conciousness of the group as a whole is expanded. dont throw away the baby with the bathwater
what shes saying is true especially that of a society that you were raised in prior to the 2000s (which surprise surprise is a big chunk of america) and the only way socialization becomes beneficial is when its no longer at the expense of others (except in the cases of POS and people who willingly chose to do hate crimes, are incels, are misogynistic or misandrist where what happens at their expense is no longer relevant because if they do benefit from being like that then youre only going to cause more suffering for everyone else) but rather the celebration of differences and giving people chances to grow out of their traumas to evolve together as a community and eventually as a nation and maybe even the world but it has to start from somewhere and acknowledging how this was part of the past that some people refuse to grow up from is step 1
Definition of man as per M.W. Dictionary: a (1) : an individual human especially : an adult male human you are not talking about men, you are talking about people who may look like adult men but are not due to their failure to grow up due to societal abuse and norms.
it's very sad to see how many sleeple fall for this mind control~ No wonder all these platforms push this kind of content......keep them in low vibration......great job~
It is working for the very few men who are ALREADY at the top like the Trumps and the Musks of this world but ordinary men really think they can benefit off this system too 😂😂😂😂
@@tinachristine4573 love seeing females helping them while creating content aimed to anger and divide. this is indeed pure false light cloaked in helpful content.
@lisaOK101 just cause you refuse to see things for what they are. It doesn't mean it isn't real. Men, patriarchy, and misogyny are serious problems in society, and women need to be made aware of the monsters who walk among them in human skin.
Some things ARE the socialized norm. Populations are diverse. It's just as messed up to pretend that everyone is the same. Don't go from one extreme to another. It's not logical nor intelligent.
@@canesugar911 what are you talking about? You have no idea who I am. These people have no qualifications and yet they make certain claims that their audience eats like hot cakes. Well, bom proveito. Engole.
It doesn't ultimately matter whether each side of the coin looks completely different. What matters is whether you can actually communicate with someone on the other side of it. You're not teaching anyone how to do that. You're just complaining.
She doesn't need to be married to make that observation and people like you who think that someone needs to be married to have an opinion is what is wrong with society
@camiba6773 where did I say she needs to be married to have an opinion? Lmao 🤣. My point is I see so many of these girls educating women on how terrible men are (which I agree!!) but then you find out they are married ? It's a bit odd
Haha maybe your husband is the exception? You, Burb and Melanie are all married women talking so badly about men. Is this a grift? Encouraging women to be so critical of men while sharing your lives with them.
That's like saying people with kids can't critique kid behavior. Or people with jobs can't discuss how employers can suck. Participation on your own terms doesn't necessarily make you a grifter.
Public offender is a MAN, and he is MARRIED, and he is also saying THESE SAME THINGS! It is POSSIBLE for human individuals to deconstruct their social conditioning, and free their minds from the brain washing.
That's total bs. Kids don't start out securely at all, babies are extremely insecure. They want to be close to mom all the time, they are afraid to be alone, they need to know someone is there at all times. Security comes from those needs being met at first, and then, in the detachment phase, from being encouraged to take reasonable risks and try new things in a safe environment. Whoever taught you this nonsense - and clearly you're taught, because you seem unable to give real life examples rather than unproven generalisations - has absolutely no idea about human development.
I wonder what school of thought you’re coming from? My opinions on young babies are that they aren’t insecure, they’re just still learning that they can get their needs met from mom or someone else. Babies cry at first because they are uncomfortable (and the world outside the womb is uncomfortable and not what they’re used to!) Babies later learn to cry because that gets the attention of someone to help them, they aren’t asking for mom at first. By responding to your baby crying, you teach them that their crying can be used as communication and not just as an expression of their feelings. A baby who is not responded to becomes insecure and believes nobody is going to help them, so they stop bothering to cry. And this happens to some degree in all cultures where the babies are left in diapers, because the baby finds it distressing that they’re about to soil themselves when they’re a young newborn, but if they are not potties from birth, then no one attends to this distress and they stop crying when they need to go potty. They have to learn that their cries are attended to or not, they didn’t come out of the womb thinking one way or another if someone would respond to their cry, because they don’t understand their cry is communication at first.
@@urahi830 the first five years of life are the most formative, including feeling secure or insecure. I don't know how you define "self aware", Western children are usually self aware at 18 months, that's the consensus. So when they start being toddlers.
Most of the women who agree with her are either not informed enough, not mature enough, or not diligent enough to understand the problems with this content. But thank you for pointing one out so succinctly.
Zero sum game: the net gain of one group is offset by another's loss, resulting in no net gain. Lisa: everyone needs to take accountability, responsibility and make the effort for self reflection of themselves. Media literacy is truly a lost art for some.
No, it doesn’t have to be, but she is describing a very real phenomenon, and in those kinds of dynamics, it is a zero sum game, which is why they’re nearly impossible to break and have been around for millennia. However, the issue I have with this type of content is that it’s over-generalizing. What she is describing is a very real thing, but it’s not the only thing. It’s not the only way men and women can interact, and hyper-focusing on it only prevents engaging in those healthy non-zero-sum interactions
I'm sorry, young lady, but there are exceptions. They are rare but they are there. I'm speaking as a 60+ year old lady who has a bit more life experience.
she is young and clearly brainwashed by low vibes ideas she makes money off. It's good for the sleeple.........maybe eventually they will realize how much ignorance is displayed here.
I've really come to understand that you don't actually hate anyone after seeing your nuance, but here's the thing: you admitted that BOTH men and women are insecure or socialized through the same oppressive/tradeoff method, so why are you willing to say all.men are bad but not all women are bad? Shouldn't the logic just be, all people who trade insecurity for socialization are bad, no exceptions?
Men and women are both insecure. But women internalize their insecurity and usually the outcome is becoming a people pleaser. Insecure men almost always hurt other people. That's the difference.
@@dkdoodle How do we restore Good Faith back in society? I say this because it's so painfully obvious that almost every problem in almost every relationship is a result of miscommunication. Both sides are unwilling to admit that their lack of perspective for the other is because of society's expectations and the pressure to conform into something viewed as "normal." There is no benefit of the doubt now; if somebody hurts you/me it's because of how the OTHER person is socialized; without good faith it's very difficult to say "well maybe I'm socialized weirdly, too."
@@kwyatt261You would never say this if you had ever been in a relationship with a sociopath. But okay, miscommunication is always the issue. Not everyone operates in good faith. Unfortunately, I learned that the hard way.
15:30 No, men are not insecure. People are insecure. Women are insecure too, remember? Security is not punished by society. Maybe by toxic authorities, but not by cognizant people. What it is is challenged. And it is challenged because people are insecure. This is not a real pipeline for people who actually understand how to have healthy relationships. Thinking like this will only poison you and destroy your future. Be cognizant of your actual personal power and consciously decide not to be a victim. It is your path to take. What you're describing doesn't even happen to most people. Stop trying to get women to focus on the outcome they don't want. Focus on the solutions. This is annoying to watch. You're not teaching what people truly need to know. You're just putting a microscope on what you find upsetting. It's counterproductive to your actual goal. You need to truly understand these issues. All you seem to understand now is what you don't like about what you don't like. It doesn't qualify you to be a teacher. I see many things that I, as a man, would want women to know that you did not say here! The picture you're painting of men with videos like this is dark, negative and slanted. You will cause many of the problems you have set out to try to help solve. It is clear that you do not understand all sides of this issue.
Wow, thanks for this. I suppose this is one big difference between TikTok and RUclips: you can find opposing views in comment sections. Counterarguments are essential.
read everything you have to say on here, and this is the one comment i agree with the most. good points made. though i don't agree with everything you've stated under the video. can you clarify how 'taking the red pill takes you off the scale'? because i can't see that as a thing.
1:26 That is also sometimes how it feels to be a man talking to a woman. (Usually. Women typically don't listen to men any more than men listen to women.) The women who have the healthiest and happiest lives notice that. Women are not any more victims of this problem than men are. I'm glad you at least acknowledged that sentiment. It shows that you have the capacity for enough self-awareness to address the problem properly. These are the moments where real progress can be made, or lost and things taken in the opposite direction. Men understand this a lot better than women such yourself typically think they do. They just don't talk about it the same ways. I hope women really start to see that.
Women are not anymore victims than men? No sir. Thats not how this works. Men didnt have the rights to their bodies revoked. Men didnt have to fight for the right to vote. Men are not forced into silence when going out in public. Please understand that men and women are not equals anywhere in the world and that it is women who are more often that not mistreated by society at large.
*You did not prove anywhere that there are no exceptions. "Not all men" is visibly the truth. You even provided great examples of how that can be observed. As usual, this video is rhetoric, not logic, and it is INTENDED to be used to justify biased, destructive thinking. You are insulting a lot of people who you will need in order to actually complete this work. I urge you very seriously to look carefully at the way you are thinking and consider how to make it internally consistent instead of what it is now: looking for someone to blame, and not necessarily a way to fix the problem.* *If you were looking for solutions, you would have provided one. This problem has been solved by many people. I hope you go looking for them.*
Most men are great people just like most women, you get in toxic relationship bcs you don't know how to choose people or you got played by an extremely inteligent narc (wich is unlikely and doesn't happen very often) you can learn this and grow or do mental gymnastics to justify terrible desitions in your life
Downplaying how common narcissists are is very telling on your part. Also victim blaming by saying we “pick wrong”. Funny how most men don’t say that to men who end up with women who are abusers, cheaters or negligent to their kids, men are given more grace while women are expected to be mind readers to ensure they men they end up with aren’t abusive or narcissistic.
You can absolutely get off that scale, and if you don't think you can, you just do not have enough understanding or faith in humanity. Not everyone fits into the categories you describe them with. Don't make the mistake of assuming that you understand people that well. Literally everyone is different. You will never know so much about people that you don't have to get to know them as individuals.
I don't know if that person is an incel, but I think this is a very important point. In my experience women care more about my appearance than men. So the pressure to look perfect or be perfect comes (at least for me) from other women than from other men. After having my child I had comments about how they were so skinny and didn't gain much after being pregnant. How they didn't have help and managed it all themselves. Comments about my appearance how I look tired (when I didn't put on Make-up) It's the women who talk about needing to lose weight, having wrinkles ect. Never the men. At least in my experience. So yes, this comment is true.
Knowing all of this, it would be very easy for me to teach a child how to deal with other children well and in a way that empowers and benefits them, and I wouldn't have to draw a focus to any victim experience to do so. I'm blown away that more people don't see how to do that. It's what adults should know.
red pill? where women are made to do unpaid labor for a man? I've had grandmas glow up and be much happier after the death of their husband, they dislike remarriage too, while the man scamper to find another woman immediately.
lol. No it doesn’t. Red pill is all about how to be a REAL MAN…it deepens your insecurity and need for outward validation. Red pilled fuels violent hate groups like the Proud Boys… So, no….men are moved even deeper into the Matrix with the red pill.
Maleness is not socialized. It cannot be a socialized norm. If you're going to try to use logic, argue things that are logically valid. What you're saying is self-contradictory and nonsensical.
Well yes , "maleness 'is a soecialised part of many mens lives as it pertains to expectations, male obviously reffers to sex and not a masculinity obvs, but you get the area of conversation shes talking about. How men behave has little emphasis from being biologically forged and more emphasis on experiences accumulated over time intertwining with some fascets of biology. This will forge how men behave over time. Arguably we are all a product of our environments. Im not saying everything she said is correct or not. But it is highly likely toxic tropes relating to masculinity are influenced alot bt societal norms and the standards that harm some men. Thats sociology 101. What we do with that knowledge is another thing.
maleness is socialized bro i've prob been in more communities than you can imagine. served in the navy, been in jail, worked on a production floor, currently work in engineering. the status quo of being a man is socialized, and mfs won't be their true self because they want to fit in brother. that's the problem. women do it too though, but from my experience, men are muuuch more common to do it. because men are defined by their job title brother (in the patriarchy.)
@@shanttt right! Its easy to see this. Women do it justbthe same juat in different ways, and not in ways that threaten others physically or whatnot. Theres alot of social bullying in womens version of this though unfortunately. But thats probably worse in school than actual adult life to be fair. Men can really be hive minded when they are ready and i say this as a dude🫠
Having watched your videos for a bit, I went to the family Christmas party. I saw things in the behavior of the males, I’d not noticed before. I saw the subtle contempt my niece’s boyfriend treated her with and her acceptance of it. I saw how thrilled everyone was with the birth of a new boy, while never acting like this over the birth of any of our girls all the while my nephew crowing about how he has a legacy now (he already has 2 girls). I love my brothers but how did I miss their incredible sexism before? Thank you for everything you do.
Watching these videos helps me understand myself and then forgive myself. No wonder I used to think and act in a certain way, there were so many factors in my life that influenced me to be an insecure pick-me. I strove to be the ideal in so many ways and that meant believing in the ideals that were show to me, and those ideals were from the patriarchy! I'll be thinking about this for years.
Yes, its so important to forgive yourself! We dont all have the luck to be socialized and raised to have self esteem as females
It wasn't until my mid 20s till I realized social perfection is participating in lose-lose self-harm game, that is always rigged against you if you play. There is no perfection for women as we're always too much this or that, too loud, too quiet, too brazen, too prude etc. I embrace being imperfect, mean and rude nowadays, only people pleasing for those who pour back.
Forgiving yourself is so important. I'm glad you're doing the work.
I think a lot of men chase marriage and fatherhood as a way to fit in and overcome their insecurity as well.
A lot of women too. They feel superior for having a husband .and kids.
This puts into words why I and many other women avoid men with physical insecurities. They come with a lot of anger they wanna take out on a woman.
Ive never had the compulsion to fit on even as a teen. As a woman in her 40s i realise i make people uncomfortable both women and men because i don't seek validation. I live life being kind, not nice, and minding my business. Why do i need to conform when there is only one me. Any time I've given in especially to my mum (she loves to conform) i have regretted it immensely. Id rather be alone and at peace than conform and lose myself.
You and me both. I also don't need anyone to applaud what I'm doing. I am also kind but not nice. And it irks people when a woman is about that energy. Society needs is in our pick me energy so that they can exploit us.
I am similar but a little bit different than you. I have never seek validation but was extremely generous to people (almost like a pick me) possibly because of my ADHD. And people hate me even more than a regular pick me because they dont only want to take advantage of women they also want women be insecure. Now im 30 and learned my lesson. I choose wisely and dont give anything to those mediocre people and interestingly they now try to earn my validation 😂
@ahsenaktitiz9163 girl, I'm like that that too. I'm impulsive with my kind acts and then people look at me like 'so you think you are all that, huh?"
I've had to learn to mind my own business now coz it's getting ridiculous.
People can't stand kindness with no other agenda coz THEY WOULDN'T DO THE SAME FOR YOU. So they hate being indebted to you and yet they hate you 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤭🙈 I've had to learn to clock that jealous eye and curbing the association quick fast.
@@wanjirunjoroge5942 I reserve human aesthetic compliments for a girlfriend or wife. One exception is a bride on her Wedding day.
I think it's unhealthy how some cultures do this a lot and I swear it inadvertently builds emotional dependency for continued validation. If it stops or declines it can be really damaging.
Should we be doing this at all?
This channel is phenomenal. Discovered it this morning and I’m binging it all. I’m a dude who’s always felt completely apart from male culture. I could never compete in the male hierarchy because I was ‘too sensitive’, which meant I never dated as a teenager because I simply had no self-worth, but I couldn’t hate women because I naturally became friends with so many of them…because they were just kinder people that I related to better. No bravado.
I’ve had one failed marriage because of my extreme anxious attachment. 5 years single and celibate. Insane amount of inner work. I think I’m getting pretty close to being the source of all my own validation and learning exactly what healthy attraction is, but damn, you are LEAGUES ahead of the majority of the conversation. Excellent stuff. Can’t wait to watch more.
It's annoying how they say "not all men are like this", yet they never bat an eye when people say "all women do this" and will even double down when someone says "not all women". Men are insatiable.
@@BridgetWalker-xu8sw never seen that happen
@EMPANAO321 well, it does happen.
The Public Offender and you are saying the same thing and he is male. I love this so much. Get it girl!! 🎉
TPO is what a self aware man is like.
He doesn't feel attacked but is aware of himself and the way he moves through the world.
@@VeeKayGreenerGrassI used to watch him but I truly believe he doenst tell the whole truth about men because he still wants access to his wife. He’s a man, he understand who men actually are and the nature of them but he parrots the socialization argument for that reason.
Read “What Men Don't Want Women To Know: The Secrets, The Lies, The Unspoken Truth
Book” by Bill Doe and Mike Smith.
THATS who men actually are but TPO will never tell you this because again, he doesn’t wanna lose access to his wife 🤷♀️
@@zooweellamaRead that book! Wish it was in print still
At first it is socialization but at some point it becomes a CHOICE. We all know what is right from wrong. But as grown adults the ego/selfishness will make a person choose the wrong side.
Saying that its only socialization is giving excuses to how men have treated women and children for CENTURIES!!!!
I agree, society is also socialized to be homophobic and all these others isms and phobias yet they go out of there way to work on it (yes I know people are still homophobic, racist, etc) but it seems like misogyny is one of the most acceptable forms of bigotry since it comes from every group including other marginalized people.
@@DeCenter3veryone_CenterUrSelf It's global, touches every socioeconomic and political class, it's not a coincidence. There are certainly things beyond socialization, like being prone to addictions and violent behaviors, it goes across species, no one is putting males on pedestal as much as humans for a good reason that can't be socialized away.
It’s as simple as looking at how men evolved. Men didn’t evolve to live in harmony with one enough, they are competitors and the strongest male wins. This is literally the direct set up of society except “strong” has extended beyond physical and it is mental.
To simply blame socialization is ignoring the way men have evolved.
Shame is the core of socialization. It's the way to make people follow something even if it's anti ethics
Another banger. We raised both our kids without gender norms and it was wild how quickly the kids at school forced them to suppress it. Both of my kids struggle to find friends because they don’t understand what’s wrong with everyone 😂😂
I ain't still dating men ever again, better off playing the lottery but I love it for you sis
I learned a while ago no one can make me feel “good enough” or secure. It’s all internal and everything I do is to prove to myself I can keep achieving higher goals. Men need to stop seeking validation from other men and learn to work on themselves- but we know they won’t 🤷🏼♀️
@@RedDeadReverie I understand where you're coming from. Many men compete against each other. I had a hard time growing up understanding if some of my friends were just wanting to compete against me.
It's sad as I felt I couldn't bond with them as they were always trying to be the 'big' grown up man. They wasted so much energy and talent on irrelevant things. Never accomplish what would give them a real sense of satisfaction and potentially lifelong joy.
I knew I was different and perhaps, didn't belong in my peer group. They could be great partners and potential husbands but don't get there as they end up damaged and unsatisfied with their lives.
I am so glad i agrd out. You would think that not getting male attention us bad but when they leave you alone. You feel free and unencumbered. I am telling you. There is no stress to meet anyone standard but your own. Especially when you are wealthy and have no obligations. Ladies i tell you. It is not worth seeking male validation. It less valuable than dirt.
There are no exceptions, they just have to have more good qualities than bad.
You’re incredibly lucky with a dad like yours. Mine always completely bought into his role under patriarchy and it caused the family so much pain. :(
what was mom doing? Enabling it? Two parents so both responsible for the outcome~ Patriarchy exists because enablers allowed it.
@@1ReikiFloWPatriarchy exists even if individuals step away from it. But way to blame a woman for the man’s terrible behaviors.
Thank you for this! I’ve been wondering about this for you, you seem too smart for most if not all, men. I divorced in my 30’s and being a wife was never really for me, though I caved in to societal pressures. I hated being married. Even as a child I didn’t fantasize about marriage or having babies, so this life of mine turning against the Patriarchy came naturally. Now in my 50’s I’m still enjoying being Single and only have male friends who truly get it and are okay with me calling them out when necessary.
@@sassyparilla it's good you can do this with male friends. I think it's a strategy that others could try. Although, I appreciate it could be a bit of a 'judgement call'.
You have helped me to really understand why so many men will choose partners who don't even like them just for the clout of male validation. 😂😂😂 and why no matter how badly I behave to some men, they are stuck on me 😂😂😂😂
Yep like that football player Travis that everyone keeps talking about…. His woman doesn’t even like him.
@@Coco-fi4mvI’m not sure everyone is so sure she doesn’t like him when he’s been living with her for multiple years and she moved around with him as he jumped schools.
She cooked, and then she ate
You're saving lives.
This ❤
LOL, are you sure?
Not by suicide
@@1ReikiFloW There are videos on your channel about dealing with low vibrational men, so what is your particular grip with other women taking the time to do the same with a different lens? There's something here that clearly agitates and resonates with your spirit.
@@1ReikiFloWyep. Every woman that steps away from men is being saved.
I have been trying to find the wording to solidify what I require of a man if I am to partner with him and you said it best , “he has to realize that there’s nothing in the patriarchy for him”. Truly the worst atrocities in a relationship towards women lies in men proving themselves to the patriarchy.
It also helps me feel free from the burden because it truly is not something I can do for them, they have to walk that road themselves.
This is also interesting from an Autistic pov, given how we often have to be emotionally or physically brutalised into ‘conforming’ (ABA is just one example of this)- it explains why the patriarchy has such a problem with us, when ‘demand avoidance’ ( or Drive for Autonomy, more rightfully) makes us very naturally more along on the ‘immune to empire’ spectrum and that’s bad news for dominator capitalist patriarchy. We’re not ‘good worker drones’.
Exactly. Great point!!!
This is why people go off grid. To truly get this out of your system, it needs to NOT exist outside in your environment.
My dad was like yours. I am so grateful for him and my mother, who made sure my sisters and I went to all girl schools. I was saved from the brunt of this socialization early on. Makes it a bit hard to date 😅 but I wouldn't have it any other way.
This is some of your best work!
In some cases you don't even age out of the system.
How you look (beauty standards wise), that's how they treat you. If you don't look a certain way they are not going to give a s*** about you either.
Looks are SO IMPORTANT to them, you could be five years old and if you are seen as "ugly" boys/men anyone will not give a s*** about. I heard stories also I have seen it happen in front of me.
Look at how kids treat one another if they’re different that other kids, especially if they have a physical disability or they’re overweight. Kids are fucking mean, and it just reflects on their parents really.
@@XX-le1wn we have to be fully honest here and admit women are doing it too. At my work Christmas party one of the women was mentioning the ages of the other women across the table to a female colleague. The narrative was revolving around how young they looked for their age.
I found it strange as I can't imagine men doing this. Although, I appreciate men's rate of body dysmorphia is increasing rapidly and there are pressures on them too.
Some women pedestal other women based on appearance.
@@XX-le1wn we have to be fully honest here and admit women are doing it too. At my work Christmas party one of the women was mentioning the ages of the other women across the table to a female colleague. The narrative was revolving around how young they looked for their age.
I found it strange as I can't imagine men doing this. Although, I appreciate men's rate of body dysmorphia is increasing rapidly and there are pressures on them too.
Women pedestal other women based on appearance.
@@XX-le1wn we have to be fully honest here and admit women are doing it too. At my work Christmas party one of the women was mentioning the ages of the other women across the table to a female colleague. The narrative was revolving around how young they looked for their age.
I found it strange as I can't imagine men doing this. Although, I appreciate men's rate of body dysmorphia is increasing rapidly and there are pressures on them too.
Women pedestal other women based on appearance.
@@XX-le1wn we have to be fully honest here and admit women are doing it too. At my work Christmas party one of the women was mentioning the ages of the other women across the table to a female colleague. The narrative was revolving around how young they looked for their age.
I found it strange as I can't imagine men doing this. Although, I appreciate men's rate of body dysmorphia is increasing rapidly and there are pressures on them too.
Women pedestal other women based on appearance.
This is the best summary about patriarchy. I really appreciate you ❤
Insightful ❤❤❤
This is, quite possibly, one of your most powerful videos!
This was so well explained. Thank you.
The first time I’m hearing this concept being tied together, this is such a n eye opener….thank you for everything that you do! ❤
I don’t know if you touched on this but could you discuss what is up with some men putting down women with daddy issues? I’ve seen some men making gross comments on the subject.
These mens 100% also have daddy problems😂
They just always get triggered
Daddy isdues that men caused.
As if males don’t have daddy issues
Excellent analysis. Every bit rang so true and so clear.
Being a good men it’s a choice
How many good men you know?😂
Phenomenal video. Wish i could like it twice.
❤❤❤ well said. Thanks for the breakdown.
Love this channel 🙏
This makes so much sense. Excellent explaination.
I couldn't thank you enough for this. It's the clearest, most brilliant and enlightenning breakdown without resorting to "not my guy" defense. And yes, there are no exceptions.
I actually disagree with this. Yes men are socialized a certain way and yes they are insecure. However at the end of the day it boils down to being a good person, or not. Everyone on this planet has the ability to choose what sort of person they want to be. Men choose to do evil because that's who they are. A good man is a good man regardless of insecurity and socialization. And yes i am fully aware that the amount of good men is slim to none. But at the end of the day, it's a choice
Nope 👎🏽 she makes more sense than you
Being a good person has never make sense the way they put it and You neither does, instead of what You think it means what they mean by being a good person is being a dormant, thats what they want You to be a good person
@@mangostring What? Being good is doing net positive things to society and not actively hurting weaker than you. You can be very active doing that. Just have a moral code and some self-love that won't let you fall off the deep end.
They 100% choose to be horrible. I agree with both points.
Great explanation.
This all made so much sense! 🙏🏾🎄💐❤
And also adults at the expense of kids.
This is an awesome breakdown and so well-articulated!! Thank you! Please do list the other creators you mentioned who are doing the work...there are several men in my life who could use resources like that.
Thank you again ♥️
yes! populism feeds off of people’s insecurities
I wish I had a friend like you 😊
Could you do a video about your opinion on couples who live Separately?
That’s the perfect solution..
There are always exceptions to the rule, that is the rule, there are no exceptions to that rule, or else the exceptions wouldn't constitute the rule, EXCEPTIONS
😂😂😂
I don't see the links to the channels for the men mentioned. Am I missing something?
❤❤❤ you explain things so well!
Visual learners even get diagrams.
Can you tag those creators you mentioned here on YT?
So informative and progressive
At least seven words for the algorithm🙏🏻
Can you link those other creators here/in the description? Thank you
can you do video on how to find a male partner that is less socialised and less evil and signs he’s a goodER man (good men don’t exist)
So you want her to lie. There are no good men just good actors
@ did you even read my comment? I said i know there are no good men but there is a spectrum from worse to better although they are all bad. Eg her husband.
And I edited the comment before you replied because i had to delete the “as a female part” after how to find a male partner partner because then it sounded like i meant i was else’s socialised and less evil. So don’t try to say that I edited my comment after you said that
This comment is exactly why lying to women about it being socialization is so dangerous. It has y’all holding onto hope that this isn’t who men are biologically and it’s possible to find a “decent” man.
There’s nothing YOU can do to find a man who isn’t like this unless you quite literally, win the lottery. It’s called random chance. That’s how you get him.
@@zooweellama Men aren’t like this biologically. Its because of socialisation. And i know because I am from Turkey where men are much more animalistic and want to assert dominance, and i live in a western country where men are more respectful (still not good but better than the Middle East).
@@patrickbateman6080 Have you ever read Lord of the Flies? Or Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft? Or See What You Made Me Do by Jess Hill? So many of the men reported in the media for unaliving their partners and children were ‘lovely’ men, neighbours had ‘no idea’ of the hell the families were living in- you need to see beyond the appearances, learn to discern the more subtle signs. They are very, very good at convincing _themselves_ that they’re ‘good guys’ but the western DV and femicide statistics paint a very different picture. I also recommend reading The Gate to Women’s Country by Sheri S Tepper for more ideas on how this plays out.
So brave ❤
excellent video
who is she referring to that she mentions she’s gonna tag? i’m not on tik tok 😭
Just came to look for the same thing. I thought it would be in the video description?
Perfect
I mean at the end of the day. The , "there are exceptions' rule still applies then. Because we are all on a spectrum of socialisation. Men and women. So there basically still are "exceptions" . Whether they are a common or not is another story
Precisely. It's a dangerous concept to believe that everyone is the same. And it's crazy.
@@joanofarcxxihow is THIS dangerous to assume all men are on this spectrum that she describes? What’s the danger in believing this?
@@bdott1538 Exactly! It’s “all men” until proven differently.
@@joanofarcxxi yeah word. I get where shes coming from but she didnt explain how it isnt an exception. It almost sounded like shes trying to present it in a way that made it seem like there are never exceptions.
Question: what are your MBTI and human design types? I LOVE the way you visualize and explain things. It's so unique.....
My friend and I are guessing ENTP or maybe ENTJ or even ESTP .... And I think reflector or manifestor....
Those typologies are pseudo-scientific
@@KateeAngel so is *psychiatry* . Individuals resonate with what individuals resonate with- at least the MBTI and human design don’t _actively harm, lobotomise or unalive others_ . Mmm.
@@KateeAngel
Dario Nardi has studied the neuroscience behind the MBTI and studies has shown that certain regions of the brain does light up differently in one situation for the different types. So, MBTI is now moving on to being studied as a type of brain functioning.
Agreed
What are the male creators? I want to follow them.
ex patriarch
the public offender
Sharon Bracey and Controversial Shannon.
That's why I'm single
Not all socializations are like this. Honey. Thankfully
❣️❣️❣️💯
❤❤❤❤❤
As a black man, it's "all" white people until I am shown diffetently. I create mental space for white people to show up as they are and I believe their actions.
I think the word "exception" is tricky. If a man is a true ally of women, he probably wasn't born that way. He actively challenged beliefs he was raised with and societal norms that he was conditioned into. He did not come out of his youth untouched. Rather he put in the inner work and challenges those toxic norms daily.
I think at most being a self-aware person is rare and depends greatly on how one was raised.
America voted for Trump though so my opinion of my fellow citizens isnt particularly hopeful. Best to just be slightly on guard when dealing with men. It's just good sense.
Who socialize the socialized? How the hatred of men for women are so generalized? Are men really good inside and, if we give them a chance and raise them “correctly” (of course it's their mothers to blame), this goodness can flourish? Of course those are rhetorical questions. It's all and every men indeed.
Also, the patriarchy is only a worthless pursuit for men who see women as human beings. But 99% of them just don't. They can't be taught otherwise.
I don’t know who need to tell y’all but the “socialization” argument is wishful thinking.
The strength difference between men and women is the start of all this. Why did men evolve to be bigger then women? If it was to compete with other males, then how does this not literally explain patriarchy?
The strongest at the top, the weakest at the bottom. Due to women’s lack of strength, we are at the bottom. Boom you have patriarchy.
Patriarchy is a man made set up that DIRECTLY reflects the biology of men. The conquers of society.
The truth is, you have to socialized them to be the opposite of that. You have to brainwash men to have empathy. Society is not brainwashing men to be bad people, society is simply encouraging men to be THEMSELVES.
na, another cult view to keep people in low vibes.......interesting idea for sure just not quite the picture of reality.
@@1ReikiFloWif the truth keeps you in “low vibes” then maybe you need to work through it with a therapist because the truth has inspired me to create a better life for myself AWAY from men cuz I know who they are. 🤷♀️
@@zooweellama
Nature or nurture is irrelevant to me, it's in my best interest to avoid them because of who they are right now.
@@MayDay-yn3bw This right here!🔥
@@MayDay-yn3bwperiodt!
Thanks
👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽
definition of adult man as per M.W. Dictionary: 1
: fully developed and mature : grown-up
an adult lion
I realize buzz words and polarizing content makes a few bucks for those who create such videos but karma always remembers who did what and repays back accordingly. Much luck~
Damn
yes and no. socialization has many more layers than only incrementing insecurity in either sex. yes this phenomenon exists. No, the explanation does not account for interactions where cooperation and genuine expression in a social setting decrease insecurity and increase authenticity. yes inner validation trumps everything however your inner value is only good for you to hold on to your north while adding value to society and seeing how that value is accepted and used by others. in short - you produce things for others around you, this forms a better society, but your motivation should not be based on them approving of you, rather you enjoying the process (inner bound), and seeing the benefits of that which you produce. socialization that you describe must be corrected by others and yourself to arrive at a higher and more refined version of socializing where conciousness of the group as a whole is expanded. dont throw away the baby with the bathwater
what shes saying is true especially that of a society that you were raised in prior to the 2000s (which surprise surprise is a big chunk of america) and the only way socialization becomes beneficial is when its no longer at the expense of others (except in the cases of POS and people who willingly chose to do hate crimes, are incels, are misogynistic or misandrist where what happens at their expense is no longer relevant because if they do benefit from being like that then youre only going to cause more suffering for everyone else) but rather the celebration of differences and giving people chances to grow out of their traumas to evolve together as a community and eventually as a nation and maybe even the world but it has to start from somewhere and acknowledging how this was part of the past that some people refuse to grow up from is step 1
Give an example of socialization of cooperation….
@@bdott1538 friendships??
Definition of man as per M.W. Dictionary: a
(1)
: an individual human
especially : an adult male human you are not talking about men, you are talking about people who may look like adult men but are not due to their failure to grow up due to societal abuse and norms.
it's very sad to see how many sleeple fall for this mind control~ No wonder all these platforms push this kind of content......keep them in low vibration......great job~
It is working for the very few men who are ALREADY at the top like the Trumps and the Musks of this world but ordinary men really think they can benefit off this system too 😂😂😂😂
@@tinachristine4573 love seeing females helping them while creating content aimed to anger and divide. this is indeed pure false light cloaked in helpful content.
@lisaOK101 just cause you refuse to see things for what they are. It doesn't mean it isn't real. Men, patriarchy, and misogyny are serious problems in society, and women need to be made aware of the monsters who walk among them in human skin.
Some things ARE the socialized norm. Populations are diverse. It's just as messed up to pretend that everyone is the same. Don't go from one extreme to another. It's not logical nor intelligent.
Truth hurts huh
That's not what she is claiming. Did you even watch the video?
@@canesugar911 what are you talking about? You have no idea who I am. These people have no qualifications and yet they make certain claims that their audience eats like hot cakes. Well, bom proveito. Engole.
It doesn't ultimately matter whether each side of the coin looks completely different. What matters is whether you can actually communicate with someone on the other side of it. You're not teaching anyone how to do that. You're just complaining.
Girl aren't you married?? You obviously believe there's some good men out there?
Did you watch and listen to the video
i think what she’s trying to say is that every man or amab person has been socialized under patriarchy
She doesn't need to be married to make that observation and people like you who think that someone needs to be married to have an opinion is what is wrong with society
@camiba6773 where did I say she needs to be married to have an opinion? Lmao 🤣. My point is I see so many of these girls educating women on how terrible men are (which I agree!!) but then you find out they are married ? It's a bit odd
@@kourtenayt1927watch the full video
Haha maybe your husband is the exception? You, Burb and Melanie are all married women talking so badly about men. Is this a grift? Encouraging women to be so critical of men while sharing your lives with them.
Smile
That's like saying people with kids can't critique kid behavior. Or people with jobs can't discuss how employers can suck. Participation on your own terms doesn't necessarily make you a grifter.
TBF Melanie didn't get married until she was over 40.
Public offender is a MAN, and he is MARRIED, and he is also saying THESE SAME THINGS! It is POSSIBLE for human individuals to deconstruct their social conditioning, and free their minds from the brain washing.
They need the male validation
That's total bs. Kids don't start out securely at all, babies are extremely insecure. They want to be close to mom all the time, they are afraid to be alone, they need to know someone is there at all times. Security comes from those needs being met at first, and then, in the detachment phase, from being encouraged to take reasonable risks and try new things in a safe environment.
Whoever taught you this nonsense - and clearly you're taught, because you seem unable to give real life examples rather than unproven generalisations - has absolutely no idea about human development.
she's not talking about toddlers, they don't have self awareness how are they supposed to be secure, or even insecure for that matter.
I wonder what school of thought you’re coming from? My opinions on young babies are that they aren’t insecure, they’re just still learning that they can get their needs met from mom or someone else. Babies cry at first because they are uncomfortable (and the world outside the womb is uncomfortable and not what they’re used to!) Babies later learn to cry because that gets the attention of someone to help them, they aren’t asking for mom at first. By responding to your baby crying, you teach them that their crying can be used as communication and not just as an expression of their feelings. A baby who is not responded to becomes insecure and believes nobody is going to help them, so they stop bothering to cry. And this happens to some degree in all cultures where the babies are left in diapers, because the baby finds it distressing that they’re about to soil themselves when they’re a young newborn, but if they are not potties from birth, then no one attends to this distress and they stop crying when they need to go potty. They have to learn that their cries are attended to or not, they didn’t come out of the womb thinking one way or another if someone would respond to their cry, because they don’t understand their cry is communication at first.
Babies are supposed to be dependent on their parents to DEVELOP SECURITY the lack of SECURITY is EVIDENCE of the CULPABLE
@@doctornomochomo thanks for agreeing with me.
@@urahi830 the first five years of life are the most formative, including feeling secure or insecure. I don't know how you define "self aware", Western children are usually self aware at 18 months, that's the consensus. So when they start being toddlers.
The problem with your assessment is the presupposition that every interaction/situation can only be a zero sum game.
Most of the women who agree with her are either not informed enough, not mature enough, or not diligent enough to understand the problems with this content. But thank you for pointing one out so succinctly.
Zero sum game: the net gain of one group is offset by another's loss, resulting in no net gain.
Lisa: everyone needs to take accountability, responsibility and make the effort for self reflection of themselves.
Media literacy is truly a lost art for some.
@@readinggeorgeeliot1489they don’t WANT to give up Patriarchy. That’s all it is.
@readinggeorgeeliot1489 There is no illiteracy in what OP said. OP stated an obvious truth. You aren't understanding why they used the term.
No, it doesn’t have to be, but she is describing a very real phenomenon, and in those kinds of dynamics, it is a zero sum game, which is why they’re nearly impossible to break and have been around for millennia.
However, the issue I have with this type of content is that it’s over-generalizing. What she is describing is a very real thing, but it’s not the only thing. It’s not the only way men and women can interact, and hyper-focusing on it only prevents engaging in those healthy non-zero-sum interactions
I'm sorry, young lady, but there are exceptions. They are rare but they are there. I'm speaking as a 60+ year old lady who has a bit more life experience.
There's no safety is betting on the "exceptions". What dangerous advice you give.
she is young and clearly brainwashed by low vibes ideas she makes money off. It's good for the sleeple.........maybe eventually they will realize how much ignorance is displayed here.
how many exceptions would you say you’ve met throughout your whole lifetime?
You are so old and still have not learned anything. Sad. And yet you think that you should give life advice based only on the fact that you are old.
I'm 61.
Like the commenter below you, I concur that betting on the exceptions is not worth the risk.
If socialization is that powerful, why Feminism needed to exist?
Wow, you don't get much do you
What a dumb comment.
Because the patriarchy conditioned men to think they have to control women & children with violence
Don’t you think women deserve to have rights?
I bet ur teachers handed back ur tests upside down
😂😅😅😂😂😂😂@@NikiReed-ds3ti
I've really come to understand that you don't actually hate anyone after seeing your nuance, but here's the thing: you admitted that BOTH men and women are insecure or socialized through the same oppressive/tradeoff method, so why are you willing to say all.men are bad but not all women are bad? Shouldn't the logic just be, all people who trade insecurity for socialization are bad, no exceptions?
She clearly explains a few times how all women fall off the scale eventually, from 14:00 on.
Men and women are both insecure. But women internalize their insecurity and usually the outcome is becoming a people pleaser. Insecure men almost always hurt other people. That's the difference.
@@dkdoodle How do we restore Good Faith back in society? I say this because it's so painfully obvious that almost every problem in almost every relationship is a result of miscommunication. Both sides are unwilling to admit that their lack of perspective for the other is because of society's expectations and the pressure to conform into something viewed as "normal." There is no benefit of the doubt now; if somebody hurts you/me it's because of how the OTHER person is socialized; without good faith it's very difficult to say "well maybe I'm socialized weirdly, too."
@@kwyatt261You would never say this if you had ever been in a relationship with a sociopath. But okay, miscommunication is always the issue. Not everyone operates in good faith. Unfortunately, I learned that the hard way.
Men are not getting r;ped and deleted in large numbers by women.
15:30 No, men are not insecure. People are insecure. Women are insecure too, remember? Security is not punished by society. Maybe by toxic authorities, but not by cognizant people. What it is is challenged. And it is challenged because people are insecure.
This is not a real pipeline for people who actually understand how to have healthy relationships. Thinking like this will only poison you and destroy your future. Be cognizant of your actual personal power and consciously decide not to be a victim. It is your path to take.
What you're describing doesn't even happen to most people. Stop trying to get women to focus on the outcome they don't want. Focus on the solutions. This is annoying to watch. You're not teaching what people truly need to know. You're just putting a microscope on what you find upsetting. It's counterproductive to your actual goal. You need to truly understand these issues. All you seem to understand now is what you don't like about what you don't like. It doesn't qualify you to be a teacher.
I see many things that I, as a man, would want women to know that you did not say here! The picture you're painting of men with videos like this is dark, negative and slanted. You will cause many of the problems you have set out to try to help solve. It is clear that you do not understand all sides of this issue.
Wow, thanks for this. I suppose this is one big difference between TikTok and RUclips: you can find opposing views in comment sections. Counterarguments are essential.
read everything you have to say on here, and this is the one comment i agree with the most. good points made. though i don't agree with everything you've stated under the video. can you clarify how 'taking the red pill takes you off the scale'? because i can't see that as a thing.
so what is the solution then? yeah a lot of people are insecure but what solves that insecurity? anecdotes can work here
Bro shut up and leave you are just crying because she hit your nail on the head.
1:26 That is also sometimes how it feels to be a man talking to a woman. (Usually. Women typically don't listen to men any more than men listen to women.)
The women who have the healthiest and happiest lives notice that.
Women are not any more victims of this problem than men are.
I'm glad you at least acknowledged that sentiment. It shows that you have the capacity for enough self-awareness to address the problem properly. These are the moments where real progress can be made, or lost and things taken in the opposite direction. Men understand this a lot better than women such yourself typically think they do. They just don't talk about it the same ways. I hope women really start to see that.
Women are not anymore victims than men? No sir. Thats not how this works. Men didnt have the rights to their bodies revoked. Men didnt have to fight for the right to vote. Men are not forced into silence when going out in public. Please understand that men and women are not equals anywhere in the world and that it is women who are more often that not mistreated by society at large.
Manipulator 101. You want to me to this now?
Wrong, women do listen to men.
Wrong, sexist and wrong. Women are far greater victims
He's one of those passport bros
*You did not prove anywhere that there are no exceptions. "Not all men" is visibly the truth. You even provided great examples of how that can be observed. As usual, this video is rhetoric, not logic, and it is INTENDED to be used to justify biased, destructive thinking. You are insulting a lot of people who you will need in order to actually complete this work. I urge you very seriously to look carefully at the way you are thinking and consider how to make it internally consistent instead of what it is now: looking for someone to blame, and not necessarily a way to fix the problem.*
*If you were looking for solutions, you would have provided one. This problem has been solved by many people. I hope you go looking for them.*
Maybe one day will be "not all men", but you won't be one of them, not now not ever.
@@minaharker6641 awww we won't be selected by you? Soooo saaaad 😢🤣🤣🤣
She proved that she could capture your attention and your response without even asking for it.
whats ur solution then? go ahead and let us know
It’s very logical, you just don’t like what it says about you personally.
Most men are great people just like most women, you get in toxic relationship bcs you don't know how to choose people or you got played by an extremely inteligent narc (wich is unlikely and doesn't happen very often) you can learn this and grow or do mental gymnastics to justify terrible desitions in your life
The mental gymnastics is what men choose to do, calling all of their exes crazy. I asked someone why he kept dating crazy people and he had no answer.
This is a grift. This woman is married. Most of the influencers talking cash shyt about men are married to one.
Downplaying how common narcissists are is very telling on your part. Also victim blaming by saying we “pick wrong”. Funny how most men don’t say that to men who end up with women who are abusers, cheaters or negligent to their kids, men are given more grace while women are expected to be mind readers to ensure they men they end up with aren’t abusive or narcissistic.
Hey another one. It's women's fault for a male's bad behavior. Love the gaslighting here
This is just not true, lol...
You can absolutely get off that scale, and if you don't think you can, you just do not have enough understanding or faith in humanity. Not everyone fits into the categories you describe them with. Don't make the mistake of assuming that you understand people that well. Literally everyone is different. You will never know so much about people that you don't have to get to know them as individuals.
I know you seem to need attention after commenting here about 50 different times.
I feel like this would be most accurately used to describe women. Makeup. Filters. Always socializing
Are you an incel?
Dude, the "I feel accused so I will accuse you of the same thing" is a really basic fallacy and ego defence that people can see though like water.
I don't know if that person is an incel, but I think this is a very important point. In my experience women care more about my appearance than men. So the pressure to look perfect or be perfect comes (at least for me) from other women than from other men.
After having my child I had comments about how they were so skinny and didn't gain much after being pregnant. How they didn't have help and managed it all themselves. Comments about my appearance how I look tired (when I didn't put on Make-up)
It's the women who talk about needing to lose weight, having wrinkles ect.
Never the men. At least in my experience.
So yes, this comment is true.
Knowing all of this, it would be very easy for me to teach a child how to deal with other children well and in a way that empowers and benefits them, and I wouldn't have to draw a focus to any victim experience to do so. I'm blown away that more people don't see how to do that. It's what adults should know.
Something a lot of women are going to be shocked about when they realize is that taking the red pill takes you off this scale.
red pill? where women are made to do unpaid labor for a man? I've had grandmas glow up and be much happier after the death of their husband, they dislike remarriage too, while the man scamper to find another woman immediately.
lol. No it doesn’t. Red pill is all about how to be a REAL MAN…it deepens your insecurity and need for outward validation. Red pilled fuels violent hate groups like the Proud Boys…
So, no….men are moved even deeper into the Matrix with the red pill.
This video is observably hateful and false
No, it's not false.
It’s not even hateful. You just don’t like the facts presented.
Maleness is not socialized. It cannot be a socialized norm. If you're going to try to use logic, argue things that are logically valid. What you're saying is self-contradictory and nonsensical.
Well yes , "maleness 'is a soecialised part of many mens lives as it pertains to expectations, male obviously reffers to sex and not a masculinity obvs, but you get the area of conversation shes talking about. How men behave has little emphasis from being biologically forged and more emphasis on experiences accumulated over time intertwining with some fascets of biology. This will forge how men behave over time.
Arguably we are all a product of our environments. Im not saying everything she said is correct or not. But it is highly likely toxic tropes relating to masculinity are influenced alot bt societal norms and the standards that harm some men. Thats sociology 101. What we do with that knowledge is another thing.
maleness is socialized bro i've prob been in more communities than you can imagine. served in the navy, been in jail, worked on a production floor, currently work in engineering.
the status quo of being a man is socialized, and mfs won't be their true self because they want to fit in brother. that's the problem. women do it too though, but from my experience, men are muuuch more common to do it. because men are defined by their job title brother (in the patriarchy.)
@@shanttt right! Its easy to see this. Women do it justbthe same juat in different ways, and not in ways that threaten others physically or whatnot. Theres alot of social bullying in womens version of this though unfortunately. But thats probably worse in school than actual adult life to be fair. Men can really be hive minded when they are ready and i say this as a dude🫠