The absolute necessity of fathers: Warren Farrell/JB Peterson
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
- I came across Dr. Warren Farrell's work a few years ago, when I read Why Men Earn More (amzn.to/2HX3Epj), a careful study of the many reasons for the existence of the "gender pay gap," attributed by ideologues of the identity-politics persuasion to systemic patriarchal prejudice and oppression. Farrell has recently published another book, The Boy Crisis (amzn.to/2wnApuy) with Dr. John Gray. We spent an intense 90 minutes discussing the crucial role played by fathers in child development, paying particular attention to play and delay of gratification.
Dr. Farrell has been a target of radical left activists, who object to the conflict between his careful analysis and their unidimensional ideology. You can see an example of this here, at the University of Toronto: bit.ly/1eS5yHe
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Awesome. Two years ago, I reinforced family dinner every evening. The boys didn't like it in the beginning but now we all enjoy sharing a meal and talking with each other for 1.5 hours each night. I can't tell you how big a difference it made in our family.
Sourdough Girl Do remember to also enforce placing everyone's smartphones in DND mode somewhere visible, so they won't distract anyone from the evening.
Love this idea. When I was a child we did this and we were a very close family as result of things like this.
Serdiuk Paul No electronics allowed at dinner time. We don't watch TV , we don't even answer the phone. Family time is a special time to us.
Sourdough Girl out of all the holidays as a child what I remember was the meals. Listening to the adults conversations. Playing games together. Seeing my cousins. I don't recall but maybe two presents at Christmas but I always remembered the smells, the prep, the time, the care, the pride, the smiles, and the appreciation around the family meals.
This is how it’s been all my life for dinner. It always seems weird to me when families don’t eat dinner together.
"It's not about equality; it's about power." -- Gloria Steinem on the feminist movement
I'm convinced Dr. Peterson can teleport. This man is EVERYWHERE!!
yeah, can't believe he is even on his own channel?
Wizard.
Lmao this is over the internet
his reputation precedes him
I can't believe he's in his own house. He must really be sorted.
I'm 30 years old and never had a father. Although I'm now in medical school, I have struggled with attention issues my whole life, resulting in a late start on college because I was such a mess. Switched majors 3 times due to indecisiveness. As a teenager I became obsessed with weight lifting, being bigger than my peers and fighting as a coping mechanism for insecurity. I was also insanely jealous with all my girlfriends. I'm still unorganized but at least have the drive to finish school, focusing on optimizing health rather than dealing prescriptions.
i7fan laser beam focus is a superpower now days. Take advantage of it my friend.
Bucko, take your tampon out, set your purse down, and then clean up your room ... get your shit together, Man!
Fistie Splinters how do I not have my shit together? I was describing the mess I was in as a teenager.
Health Nerdz, I was just messin' with you. I salute your accomplishments. Dr. Peterson is known to say "Bucko" and "Man" a lot ... as well as clean up your room. I thought you would pick up on that. I wish you nothing but the best, Godspeed.
You sound awful.
Holy shit, I just realized something thinking about the first question JP posed to Warren. Society before women got into politics with the right to vote had to be somehow balanced so that women's well being was taken into consideration, and it was the duty and the proclivity of men to speak for women's interests. When later you add women to the playing field you now have a situation where one team is passing the ball to everyone and the opposite team is only passing the ball between themselves, as shown in Warren's conflict with the women in his group. Looking at the individual (the child), would be the proper, most balanced view that would make the game playable and desirable by all players.
Only families should get one vote each. If you think about it, why would single people need a vote?
Over here in the UK women used to work in coal mines. Only rich women didn't need to work.They also owned property, which gave them the vote under the older system while working men and women didn't. It's not so straightforward as pre- or post universal franchise. The massive growth of the state and it's interference in peoples lives has done a lot to fracture society ,as the battle is on for special interest groups to capture it.
That's exactly right. Women assume that men in power only advocate for men, because women in power only advocate for women. Instead, everybody in power advocates for women and nobody at all advocates for men.
I'm not arguing against letting women vote, I'm just observing that these side effect could be due to this recent change and some time and some behavior change might be in order to adjust to the new way things are. Not arguing that in the previous system males did a good job looking after all female necessities either, just that they were inclined (biologically and socially) to take it into consideration and still are.
I'd rather have right the vote be based on taxation alone (stipulate a low minimum threshold) and the military should be voluntary and paid according to the demand (ie if war breaks out increase money offer and adjust taxation temporarily until soldier necessities are met)
my mom and dad abandoned me when i was a baby, I grew up with my grandma, thanks to her I finish my studies,find a good job,and built my own home. Yes it was hard, but i've always tryed to be a good person.I heard this frase from her when i was 5 : " yes! life is suffering, you are strong, when you choose to; be better and try your best, most of all be gratefull" . 1 year after her dead i hear the same from this Dr. :D
Take care my friend, you are loved.
My husband stalled his military career in order to stay near his daughter (divorce happened when she was 4)
He retired as a master corporal after 29 years. (tho' he often operated way past his rank when senior NCOs were deployed) His daughter is immensely grateful, and they have an amazing relationship. I have an incredible husband who is as loyal to me as his daughter. She has grown into a fine woman, wife and mother.
Adam Selene. I didn't divorce him. I am the second wife. 26 years together.
Yukon Bear And you need to be loyal to him, not just the other way around. Women cheat more.
kjfd fs4. No cheating here, hombre. And women do initiate divorce ~ 70% of the time, so I hear you there. The ex-wife is on hubby #4. Or #5, if you count "Elizabeth Taylor style".
Yukon Bear -Well done and keep up the good work ... it doesn't happen by luck 😉
Yukon Bear Yea, to take all that a man has worked so hard for, to be easily given to a *woman* by society. Mens rights movement needs to start soon.
I was raised by a single mother. My mother left my father when I was about 3. My mother has never been able to balance the two roles and never made an attempt to even date let alone remarry. I am 21 and Dr. Peterson's videos have helped me realize how not having been raised by a father has messed me up so much and was severely damaging to my psychological development. Ever since watching Dr. Peterson's videos I've been working hard to self correct these issues to the best of my ability, but it's been extremely difficult. I have a long road ahead and am looking forward to one day having a son of my own and having the relationship with my son that I never had with my own father and I know it will grow me as a person in ways learning psychology cannot. Thank you Dr. Peterson.lo
Josh Patterson, really sorry to hear it. The suffering is for real, but definitely not the end of hope or the demise of your journey to fulfillment. There are many older men willing to offer words of advise. Grand dads, uncles, older cousins, older guys at work, etc. Seek them out. No matter how old we are, or how experienced, there is someone a mile or two further along the path we are on. Their advice can become your wisdom - but you do have to chase it down. Churches sometimes offer a service where young guys can connect with mentors, for an occasional cup of coffee, or routine meetings. Press on!
Josh Patterson, a question for you. What if instead of your difficult circumstances defining you as a man, you considered the thousands year old notion of your being made in the image of God... the definition of who you really are? Could be mind blowing... MADE IN THE IMAGE OF GOD! Really. No fear. Driven by a deeply sacrifical notion of love and responsibility. Could be life changing if you really thought on it - and began to act on it.
SW Lowry Such provides little guidance for how to he a man. I have found father figures through men like Jordan Peterson and Ben Shapiro and faith is still plenty important
Josh Patterson, how we see ourselves, others, and our surroundings is based on who we are... our lense, or our identity. If we see ourselves as small and frail and timid, everyone else may seem big and menacing. If we see ourselves as a powerful, loving person then those around us seem less frightening and we become less frightened. Having a clear and healthy sense of self-identity is the beginning of everything. If i am made in the image of God, i am capable of huge responsibility. I am capable of self discipline and of forgiveness, I can sacrifice for my family, my neighbor, I can learn ___, if i dont believe i am capable, i've already lost half the battle before even starting.
There is a great story of a young man named Jonathan, he was the son of a King. His country had been captured and all of their weapons had been confiscated, except for a sword for his father the king, and a sword for himself. One day he and his body guard (who had no weapon) came upon a troop of enemy soldiers camping. The conversation between Jonathan and his body guard made it clear that Jonathan understood - not that he was the son of a captured king, but that he was made in the image of his creator. I believe the story is in the book of 1st Samuel if you want to look it up. Hope this is helpful...
You are fortunate your mom didn't date or remarry. From my perspective, when that happens moms often choose poorly, and there are men coming/going, a high risk of being abused physically, sexually, or emotionally. Mom then also gets wrapped up in love bird hormones with each guy. Having a step parent that really loves another person's children like their own can happen, it is just not usually the most common outcome, there is usually bias/not as much love for non-bio kids.
Warren Farrel and Jordan Peterson.
The two Dads of the century!
Unbelievable!
I know you don't want to prof. Peterson... But I wish you'd become our prime minister! Canadians are lucky to have you
roxane lafrance The entire continent is lucky he's on it.
Wrong! The entire WORLD is lucky that he is on it.
No, please don't join the mafia.
I think he has better things to do. And a PM wouldn't really give 3 hour lectures lol. They would tear him apart.
Either way, he said he has thought about it before and he doesn't want to do it... He wouldn't know what party he would run for to begin with, he's a classical liberal in his view, but the liberal Party is a failure for anyone who holds true liberal views. And he said he doesn't think he knows enough on important political subjects to take them on.
But hey, 1 can still wish/dream/hope that 1 day, maybe.....
I'm a single mother who has tried desperately to maintain the relationship between my daughters and their father despite his reluctance to fulfill his role. Sometimes I get disheartened but listening to this discussion has helped me to remain focused on why I must push on with keeping the male influence in my daughter's lives as positive as possible.
As a father with a young boy, I'm really grateful to hear both Dr. Peterson and Dr. Warren discuss what I can do to best raise my son. Thanks. I'll see you when you come to town next month.
Every time I listen to these talks with JP, the more I'm absolutely stunned by how *holistic* the approach and worldview are. Everything just...fits, both on a logical and intuitive level.
I'm crying watching this. Both of speak right to my soul.
I’m so happy I’m learning things like this as I’m 17 years old, and not when I’m in my 30s or 40s after having children, when it could be too late.
I started tearing up feeling so grateful for how my dad used to rough house with me and my brother
Wow. Fantastic insight on rough and tumble play. I’m going to share this with the FB mommy group from church. Good stuff for Dads to know about themselves, but just as important for Moms to know about the Dads as well. Im so grateful for a spouse I can trust. Part of that is trusting him even when I’m hesitant. He hasn’t disappointed me yet. 😬
Amen! Husbands/wives need to focus on appreciating their spouse's unique strengths and trust each other. Sounds like you two have that figured out :)
It seems a bit specific and dated, though. I'd extend it to competitive play. Boys and Dads tend to turn all games into a competition of some kind. Which is fine. Dads also, I think, get more involved in play more often. When your kid is playing (which includes learning activities), you can sit there doing something else and passively acknowledge what they're doing every 10 minutes, or you can actually focus on what they're doing and do it with them. Obviously the latter is more beneficial for a child.
The absolute necessity of Dr. Peterson.
Or "The absolute necessity for someone, anyone, to pay attention and speak the truth"
dan that too Dan, that too.
Yes!
What a great way to spend my Sunday afternoon. Thank you so much for these brilliant conversations. Keep them coming.
I grew up without a dad and alot of times without a mother and I refused to let it get the better of me.
Man...I just finished with the Shapiro thing.. well there goes my Sunday morning.
Well spent, im sure.
What is the Shapiro thing, where can I watch it?
S N On the Daily Wire channel. They were live a couple of hours ago.
Bro, same for me lmao perfect way to spend a Sunday morning
Cool. I got finals tomorrow and here I am watching this after JBP monthly questions. After this I better study for final. Lol
Assembled my 3 year old sons first bike today... "Fanx dad, my modobikecicle is gweat!"
I wilfully walked into the valley of darkness, created my own dragons and defeated most of them, there are more still, when you've live the kind of hedonistic life I lead, for a while. I slew that dragon, rescued the woman and returned to the village to share the gold/knowledge. I have a beautiful wife, three kids and a relationship with my father he seems to be proud of. Jordan has been another beacon of light in a dark world. Keep on keeping on Dr J.
P.s.... kids are running around the house like baboons, driving my wife crazy! My life is complete.
That's so wholesome man . . I hope you and your family are doing well
Great conversation. For me as a father of a 7 year old it gives a powerful perspective on the importance of my role in his development. Something that is rarely articulated so well.
This is, without a doubt, one of the best, most informed and comprehensive discussions/ examinations on this very important subject, that I have ever watched, listened to or read!!!! This should be a mandatory pre-marital study. KUDOS!!!!!
mugotyou I said that as well but in this way. Everyone should have Jordan pertson as 2 hours class at schools all over the world
Amen to that!!!
This spoke to me deeply. Makes me reflect on my relationship with my father when I was a child. I’m 25 now and have two daughters and never want to commit the same sins via negligence. This gave a lot of insight
We used to sell crack now we watch JBP 🙏🙏🙏
Almost all comments have thumbs ups. I think this is reflective of the general excitement everyone has when a new JBP video comes out. I've been thumbing up comments left, right and center as well, lol.
John Ny its because they are worth the thumbs up😁😁😁👍
"Diciple of Jesus the Christ"... ok.
I was "web-bored" and then saw this. Can help but drop everything and watch it!
Matthew Holland if you were web-bored then you didn't actually drop anything to watch this
"drop everything" sounds like a bad move
drop everything as in stop scrolling reddit? you BEAST
If you drop nothing and there is no one around to hear it and you post it in the comments does anybody hear it?
Inversely, this is not nothing that you should not be saying no to.
I consider conservations like these useful because they are practical, but also, because the positive results that can stem from them extend beyond the individual, but to society as a whole.
Take it one step further. Useful? (meant nicely)... not even near. Instrumental and of paramount importance more like. Even in the first thirty minutes they're pulling apart the father figure and how necessary it is for all manner of reasons. It's just a shame that many people won't see this because it doesn't contain the media-friendly sound-bites that reach out across the masses. However, it's been awesome so far and your comment is spot on regarding the reach it has into society itself.
15:28 Dr. Peterson is FINALLY getting to the root of the issue!
Having children is a responsibility, NOT a personal right free of consequence.
My father wasn't there for me so I came to the internet
John Gault that goes both ways bucko. Is it a son's duty to teach his father to be a responsible parent?
*I* am your father. Look within your heart, you know to be true.
What's interesting is how many stories I have heard where many years later the son finds out that his mom was lying to him all those years that the dad left the family when in fact it was the woman who left the man. This creates lot of cognitive dissonance. All those years the son thought that the father was the bad guy only to find out the truly evil individual was the mother.
Thomas Paine yeah the tyrannical mother who thinks her child would be better off without their dad makes me sick. I mean there is cases where the father is so abusive, it's better to separate, but they're rare in comparison to how often the mother oversteps her authority, and ruins the child's relationship because her relationship is ruined.
In other words, just because you hate your partner, doesn't necessarily mean your child will also hate them. You can still allow the kid to make his/her own mind up.
“I came” 💦...
Clean rooms everywhere...
Hahahaha. Excellent!
cleaning is empowering ;D
Dean Pagliaro - I did garage yesterday but I should work on the shed...I'll be the best male housewife in no time xD
It's a WEIRD POWER! I cleaned my room , and it made my dopamine into a tsunami! Now I can't stop cleaning EVERYWHERE!
I'm sure there's plenty of dust under plenty of rugs, couches, and closets...people often like to ride the wave of things they don't exactly contribute to. It's a fad to be "nice' "positive" "cool" "good" etc...but the world is still as shitty as it is, that surely points to people not ACTUALLY doing the best they could do, merely wearing the words and phrases but fulfilling little to none of the actual meanings...and that is either the result of ignorance or apathy...people like their rooms to look clean, or perhaps be clean in many aspects, but when your world is dirty and you aren't doing anything to help IT...dirt can find it's way in...too many focus on just themselves, and what good is our world if it crumbles even if we don't?..
You have no idea what you have done to us... Thank you ❤️
I love Dr. Peterson, so I watch every video, lecture, interview, or talk that comes out.
One of the biggest downsides though is that you get to hear the same examples over and over and over. It's not even annoying any more, I just start laughing every time he starts talking about rats wrestling.
True, but is it really a downside? Had I heard that example just once I wouldn't be able to quote it to my friends 😁
Growing up with a single mother I learned a lot about myself from this conversation. Thank you!
Much love to you and your family Dr. Peterson. Take care of yourself and your family. 💜💖💖♥️💜💖♥️
Lots of this is so recognisable. I always wrestle with my daughter and she loves it. As a result she listens to me so much better then she does to her mum. I rarely ever have to get angry with her. My wife on the other hand has to constantly tell her off and get angry. I also follow Jordan's advice of not doing things for her that she can do herself. She does not always like that to start but always is proud when she has finished the job herself and gets my praise.
FINALLY SOME LEGIT CONTENT THANKS JBP
you came here from bruce lee videos?
You came here from cute kitty videos?
You came here for Jake Paul videos?
You came here to get the intelligence you thought you had torn away in the first sentence?
Ayy bernie, glad you’re in on the JBP crew too! I appreciate your channel a lot, ive found many a great music from you!
Rough housing with your child gives them a sense of security. A peace of mind. You exhibit a trusting relationship with your child by showing them that despite your physical and mental power over your child, you show them that they have nothing to fear from you. You have outlined healthy boundaries for their future interactions. You have shown them how to control themselves by controlling yourself within the boundaries of the relationship and the interaction. You also stimulate the release of endorphins with the exercise and imprinting a memory and a blueprint for them as future parents. You also show them humility, both in your restraint and deference in the interaction and their less powerful role in the relationship/interaction and life in general. It serves as motivation to improve and to become more able, capable, intelligent, stronger, taller, powerful,........It's funny, we never think about such things in depth, but once you do there really is no end to the depth of what most think is an insignificant moment.
Journalists take note, this is how you conduct an interview. Listen, let the guest make his or her point, ask questions and have a dialog. For God's sake, stop playing the " so what you're saying is* game, it's stupid, sophomoric and you're better than that.
M- cat I wish they WERE better than that.
B heh nice
Benjamin Rood it doesn't have to be, there new people getting in the journalism everyday that means I can change
It, not I
+M- cat _...you're better than that._
They're really not.
Slay them dragons boys! You’ve got a life to live!
3 uploads in 3 days. Doc putting in work
Peterson Broadcast Network is on
Im 18 and growing up with a dad who I saw 5 or 6 times was so tough. Sucks having to miss out on a childhood that everyone around me experienced.
Great conversation really enjoyed it. I firmly believe a child needs a father and mother if possible
I had to comment again: it's so great to see two philosophers sit down and talk. I wish he would've had this amount of time with Iain McGilchrist. This is what the internet should be used for!
I'm probably going to be rambling a bit as i stumble through trying to get my message across but i will try my best to keep things as concise as possible.
This video made me experience something that i don't recall ever having experienced before. Not only did i learn a bunch of new facts about how important the presence of a father is in terms of long term physical and mental health of children, but more personally hearing Warren Farrell talk about video games and the effect they can have on people gave me this really concrete but also abstract feeling of my brain tingling to the point where it almost felt like my head was exuding fumes of some kind. Not because what he said was new to me, but rather because it was exactly the opposite. I have and do play a lot of video games for both good and ill and i have thought and even articulated to myself and others, how effective video games are at mimicking the "self improvement" aspect of life, where you set yourself a goal, make a plan, and slowly execute it while remaining flexible enough to change the plan as is needed.
But as Warren so profoundly points out and as i've realized myself over the years, it easily becomes a replacement for real life achievements rather than a simulation that you learn from on how to apply to that procedure to the real world. Exactly because the proccess of playing and learning in a video game and gradually progressing towards your goals is so much more immediately satisfying and fun, with all the various visual stimuli that measures your experience growth and all sorts of other numbers that you get to see increase in real time, while also rewarding you for long term planning and improving your skill at the video game. So when you've experienced that for years, it becomes incredibly difficult to adjust to the real worlds lack of "gamification" of incremental progress while you try to delay gratification. By contrast everything else feels like much more of a slog, and a numb painful, sometimes even meaningless grind. Finding the joy and satisfaction, the motivation and discipline to both getting started in the first place but also to keep going once the going gets tough, dull or boring gets so much more difficult than it already is in the first place.
At this particular moment in time, i don't think i really have any fitting conclusion or way to end this comment, but i will add that all of what i've said is coming from someone who adores video games and loves it as a medium and a platform. My observations and thoughts and critcisms surrounding video games do not come from a place of hatred or resentment (as far as i'm aware anyways) while video games may be designed to be manipulative and take advantage of these things, at the end of the day the majority of the fault is still my own and i cannot lie the primary burden or blame at the feet of video games for my own weaknesses.
Thank you for taking the time to read my comment and give your thoughtful reply. It's very much appreciated.
Please take with Warren Ferrell again! I learned so much about how to help families and children. Those items are definitely good for boys, and as a women, were good for me when I was a child
The longer telomeres is quite logical. Death, divorce and single parenthood cause stress and stress decreases the lenght of telomeres.
(Single parenthood often causes stress because the parent is often more stressed. It's on average, not always like this.)
Both my parents worked when I was growing up, but they always get back to the house for a family dinner every evening. They have 7 kids, 3 were already pursuing school and life abroad when I was a baby, but still we (the ones still living in the house) all sat down every evening to have dinner and talk about the day, right till all the kids left for further education and careers. And my parents were keeping close tabs on my elder siblings lives abroad as well, as much as they were able. We also spent time together in the weekends, going to the mountains and what not, and had great memories up to this moment to share each time I meet up with the others. My dad owned a restaurant, so at the day time he went to the office and then in the evening after dinner he goes back to work again. My mother also had a career in the entertainment, as well as running the restaurant. It's amazing to think how they were still able to do all that, while still spending so much time with us, the kids, as much as they did. They weren't perfect, of course, and sometimes I caught them arguing. But somehow we could see how obvious it was that they loved each other. I am so grateful for that, even though at the time it was sometime annoying as hell...haha... Of course. But my parents were also very cool people so it wasn't bad at all spending time with them. My parents were also the best of friends, and they would rather spend free time with each other, rather than going out separately with each of their own friends. With the dinner thing, I guess it was easier back then in the 80s to be back at home each evening from work. Less demand for quicker results, less traffic, less distractions.... Maybe? I don't know. But it is one of the things that is missing nowadays. Parents are so scared to be seen as annoying by their kids, and they try so hard to be friends with their kids, rather than be there as good parents. I see it with friends who have kids these days. They are almost bullied by their kids, it's insane. The single parenting thing with the friends that are doing it still works here in Indonesia, exactly because their parents are still together and are also involved in raising the kids. I guess it's much more difficult when the parents are also separated.
Dear Dr Peterson, I can't wait for your talk in Los Angeles in June. I hope to see you then.
If you have the chance, Mr. Peterson, take the time to discuss The Myth of Male Power and Why Men Are The Way They Are with Mr. Farrell. The book turned my life around.
The telomere thing is absolutely insane.
THIS IS THE BEST DISCUSSION EVER POSTED ON RUclips or anywhere! Congratulations Gentlemen for sharing your knowledge and expertise.
Haha. I'll file this under "only Jordan Peterson". Quotes Nietzsche and Homer Simpson, in the same sentence, to bolster the same point. Classic. :)
Great video. I play with my 7 year old son and 5 year old Daughter. I really get a kick out of watching them circle around me to attack my weaknesses. They work together against me. It amazes me to see it. When I snatch one up they yell for the other intensifying the attack until I release the child I have. Smart little buggers.
You are a good father, my friend
The older I get, for some reason the statement fed to me as a child really bugs me. “You can be whatever you want to be and have it all.”
I see more of how much of a false and dangerous statement that is and how much that statement needs to stop being used.
Why you ask? Because not a single person, no matter the gender, can or ever will have it all or can become anything they want to be. No matter how hard they try. It is an unattainable, unrealistic, and foolish goal. It’s setting people up to be failures, and possibly lead them to suicide.
To tell someone, such as a child, they can go into any possible field of study they want and become the best at it is a falsehood right there in its self. It’s absolutely wrong on so many levels. Anyone who thinks such a statement is good and encouraging really needs to step back and think long and hard about that.
Are you really going to tell and encourage someone to become a brain surgeon when they struggle to understand and retain what they read, even if it’s laymen material?
Who struggles to pronounce or spell even the simplest of the Latin medical terms used?
Who lack the physical or mental rigger such a position tolls on those individuals in that kind of position?
Who is so obvious devoid of the necessary aptitude for such a position?
No! People cannot do any job or study they want. No matter how hard they try. Every individual has their limits and capabilities. To lie to that person and have them believe that lie is setting them up for a miserable, unfulfilled life. No one will ever feel successful, fulfilled, pride, accomplished, or empowered if they suck at what they are doing in life. When they can see others around them are doing and achieving so much more and seem to never struggle or work less hard then them to achieve it, yet they work to the bone to get what very little and unfulfilling bits they can manage to do.
They will be miserable!
They will feel worthless!
They will feel like a failure!
The world will treat them as such because they are!
Would you go to an inept doctor or surgeon?
Would you allow one of your loved ones to go to one?
No, you would not, especially if you know and can access better ones.
Who is going to hire an inept doctor or surgeon other than an inept practice?
People should be encouraging others to become the best at what they can honestly accomplish. To work within their means and get the true satisfaction, pride, and self worth by doing what they are realistically mentally and physically capable of accomplishing. Only then will they be happy in life and with their life.
Secondly, everything in life is sacrifice! No one can have it all, because they have to always sacrifice something to obtain what they do get in life. What we should be telling people is pick the right sacrifices in life to better yourself today, and tomorrow, and years from now. You can’t have it all and no one ever will.
All you can have is what you are willing to sacrifice in life.
What is more important to you?
What are you willing to give up right now in order to get what you want later?
Telling anyone they can have it all is another falsehood!
I've been rough and tumbling my kids naturally but taken it further because of this. I've seen immediate improvement and will keep it up.
Damnit Jordan. You have to take us on a art tour through your "home catalogue" some day!
Thanks for the vid
danthefrst That is a nice piece behind him.🤓
i thought what a beautiful home he has / must have. he also dresses quite well. im curious to know what car he drives
I can't adequately express how much I appreciate the fact that he let's us into his home, so to say. It's amazing and makes everything so personal.
al ex He rides the dragon of chaos.
This is an enormous treat for me to be able to listen to Dr Farrell. I read his book Why Men are the Way They Are back in the mid 80's. He gave an autographed copy of the book to my brother as a tip for his ride in my brother's cab. It's just a wonderful book and opened my eyes to how and why's of being a man.
The Universe is aligning, at long last. Great background set-up. Very appropriate 'office' area (needs your books though). The FIRST interview by JBP ~ let's all pray there are hundreds more. JOURNO-HACKS take note ~ THIS is how you conduct a PROPER professional interview. No constant interruptions. We hear both sides. GREAT JOB JBP.
oh, I now understand the reasoning behind your second post here in this comment section... you didn't get enough attention with this one.
Sorry I don't understand 'HL'
Love hearing wise men talk. The part about what happens to the boy if a father cannot contribute is exactly what happened to me.
The quality is sublime, loving this set up, very well done bucko!
Just finished your book. It was amazing, the personal stories alleviated from the technical philosophy you asserted. You truly understand the Gospel and Christ’s teachings more than most Pastors with credentials.If you would prefer to talk over dinner, I live in Cleveland and we can go to an open place of your choosing. I’ll treat.When I first read your book, I assumed you treat all philosophy as true to realize in Chapter 12, you closed with humility (as can be stated from a fathers perspective). Then I read the conclusion.If you gandered into prophecy, think of the Roman Empire as iron, and Islam as clay. Islam believes in abrogation and molds with a false ideology. With recent events, Iran nuclear done and a focus on God versus money, your mind can open to the false ideologies that are coming. Tribalistic, not to our choice, but to Matthew 10:34 (not for peace, but to bring a sword).I enjoy your thinking immensely. I believe what I am saying will make more sense since you’re Canadian. Look at the Authoritarian nature taking control and your idea that could really only exist with the Father ruling. It’s when you realize that, existential or esoteric thought fails. I know the religions of old, and Manly Hall, and where that leads. It’s doom amongst us. It’s not if you recognize Christ as reconciler to the Father. Then all religious predispositions get cleared in 1 Cor 15. To be honest, your knowledge has been the last light I’ve been searching for in understanding theodicy. And you did a great job!
The quality of these videos has improved multitudes in the past year!
Now this is truly a progressive meeting. No shouting matches. No talking over each other. No one saying they're truly right or truly wrong. No one is taking offense of each other's statements.
Just listening to each other viewpoints.
Just sharing ideas on how to improve.
Two great genuine genius in each of their respective fields meeting together to discuss issues and possible solutions.
Plus, no ads for interruption. ^,^
Jordan Peterson= The peoples champ
I'm a mom to four boys, wife of 17 years (to an Army combat veteran). When my oldest was just five months old, his biological father died. At age 10, I found and married my current husband. Those ten years without a father were extremely difficult for my son. I'm forever grateful I married a man who readily stepped into that role, becoming a dad to him. He's 29 and married now. Our other three sons are 18, 14, and 8. And they all noticed how RARE it is for both parents to be in the home, married. Society treats dads as disposable, men are unnecessary. It's disgraceful. Children NEED DADS.
i wish my father was apart of my life.
Well Danny for every young person who has the same desire for a father figure is an old man in fear of his twilight years alone, wishing he had a kid to pass on the knowledge and material possessions he has accumulated. Just because your mother couldn't get along with him doesn't mean you cant. If you have no way to find him or if you know him but, like your mother, you can't get along with him, find a good old grandfather type and treat him like one. There is no rule carved in stone that says your best friend can't be 30 years older. You can find him in a week if you try, but it may take a few years to build a relationship, biological father or otherwise.
LaserFlexr your kind words made my soul weep. thank you. enjoy the day bucko
Starting by age 8, I didn't have my father much in my life. A little over a decade later, here I am, experiencing some of the symptoms brought up by Warren Farrell. I'm doing my best, but sometimes it feels like it isn't good enough.
Keep healing Bro-you'll be the first in your entire Family History to do so...that's the situation were in as part of this modern 1ST World and it's craziness
peace
Thank you for the kind words.
Just to let everyone know. Exodus 20:12
The commandments to honor your father and mother is the only commandment with a promise attached. A promise for longevity, interesting fact especially in regards to the point brought up around 21:55 .
The way you two riff off on these topics is absolutely invaluable. You guys should consider a north american speaking tour together!
Perfect Sunday! I'm going to watch this right after your interview on Ben Shapiro's Sunday Special! :)
Jordan Wife Beaterson
Whoever is managing your time for you is amazing. Your everywhere and don't look like a zombie from over lapping cases of jet lag.
Wow, see you've put real effort in production quality, good work!
Although I personally don't mind if the quality of you're video's is low (because content is everything) I wanted to let you know i'm glad you are able to succeed in the RUclips environment. Also, it's good to see you are doing better, you are looking good.
Okay now on to watching the video..
I woman listening to this. I woman who has a father, a husband, a brother, nephews. Thank you Dr. Peterson/Farrell.
Please do a Karen Straughan (Girl Writes What) interview please! You need to address hypergramy, the Pareto distribution (aka the 80-20 rule), the birth control pill, and pair-bonding versus tournament species.
This is so interesting. Explains a lot about myself. When i was younger i had a child minder who took care of me because my parents worked a lot, and i think that made me avoid things that didn't allow for immediate gratification. A lot of the time when i was younger i would take up a hobby and quit because i didn't have the patience. Thankfully, i have grown out of that habit.
Discouraging to me is the upward trend of young women consciously deciding to deny a child the chance for a loving father in their lives. I'm referring to the individuals who because of their own self-centered personalities prioritize their own desires over the needs of their children.
Monica Smith there's some data on genetic memory in humans. We also know that traits from parents will pass on to kids. The culture and the environment will draw out different inherited based on the circumstances that ensures survivability in accordance to a person's biology and said traits. Such as a boy being more prone to join a gang or some rough crowd, drawn to the access to a pathway of manhood, so to speak.
Now what if those traits from a parent include something like narcissism, tendency for unstable emotions, or single parenthood or more like parental partner abandonment/ rejection or early advanced sexual development, or attraction to short term positive traits while ignoring long term beneficial trait, etc. (Sorry, I have a long list). Now imagine those traits reinforced over many generations and in environments that facilitate their development. When people hear the word, "environment", they think of trees, building, forests, and animals. Their's a disconnect that people are also part of the environment and also the social contracts between each other. Many contracts have been broken, ignored, and, worse, not even properly discussed so that a manageable game can be played, while also wanting to continue the game fairly. Fair doesn't mean equal.
As a mother of two sons I truly appreciate a voice for men but more importantly boys. I am a school therapist and I see the harmful effects of the boy crisis. We need to address this.
Everyone needs to see this video. Thank you Gentlemen. Thank you.
Wow, again Dr Peterson you introduce us to knowledge that is priceless. I'm so glad I know more now.
I hope I can have kids.
PLEASE MORE 'DIALOGUES WITH INTERESTING PEOPLE'
This play list is so profound.
A profound playlist! Lol
Thank you Jordan, for everything x
90% of people in jail had no father figure
Cause some single crazy women are raising them with the state fund.
Just read the first chapter of 12 rules for life and I now know why your a bestseller, I thank you for being the father figure I needed
It was really kinda depressing to watch this as a 18 year old coming from a divorced family where the father wasn't involved and pretty much all the things the negative things the list applied to me. Like I don't have any friends, well barely any friends and we aren't all that close, and not sociable. You know as typical soon to be engineer major and comp sci major would be.
And after a all that I am surprised I made it into a good school. Like I really hated high school and still do, I feel isolated from my pears mainly and still am. I really just wanted to quit and give it up and just paint everyday when I was sophomore. I went to therapy took medication for time.
God I was depressed and so lonely as junior. And utterly desperate, I had a long distance relationship with a girl that had cancer in Toronto actually funny how he from there too, JP. And I never felt so sad and so strongly when she was on the brink a of death a few times and when she finally did die. I will always remember her voice as she did her beast to breath a response to me as she had lung cancer and it made her voice go really bad when it was getting bad. Which was even more terrible since she loved to sing before hand before the cancer.
God it's been a year and I am still thinking about this shit. Still choked up about someone I never Got the chance to meet in real life.
If it wasn't for martial arts that I got into in 7th grade I am sure I probably would have killed myself by now. Its what really fathered me to focus and take the pain. I didnt need to hurt myself to distract from my depression I could just spar and attempt splits and boy that distracted me from my troubles. I still have a passion for it unlike most of the people I see at my school at my level, which is sad but I got to take the good with the bad I guess. Even having serious plans of starting a martial arts club at my uni since they don't have one.
For anyone who reading this. Just thank you. I don't really know why I made this post I just get choked up watching his videos at times.
A serious conversation between two caring people about something important and difficult, thank you for working hard to become such good people.
Thank you thank you Professor Peterson another great video
Ive been listening to you for long time now Dr. Peterson, I fear that I would remain listening to you without acting out in the world.
Also see this, on play, by Jaak Panksepp, a brilliant neuroscientist of emotion and motivation: bit.ly/1O0dqSN
I became a single father when my daughter was 1 and my son was 2. They're grown and doing well now. I'm what most people would call a failure, but I did that right. It's nice to hear Dr. Farrell suggest guys like me should be called "heroes". i wouldn't call myself that, but it's a nice thought. Thank you.
Great talk. Terrific improvement in AV quality (he no longer needs earbud headphones!)
This whole conversation is so heart-breaking to listen to. I agree with everything here. My husband had a horrible divorce with a BPD'ed woman , and has lost his daughters. I've never come across a more cruel, spiteful and just morally disfunct person in my life. There's been so much damage. He is not allowed to be a father if he isn't with her. I wish she could hear this lecture but still I don't even know if it could sink in or permeate at all.
Dads are so often portrayed as incapable parents. Doofuses. Here at Actidad, we believe dads are heroes of the household! Dads are awesome!
Dr W Farrell and J Peterson, you words mean many things for me...
I've lived and grown almost without dad.
He worked from 8am to 9pm every day and when they got divorced (I was 11) we could see him only 2 weekend per months. My mum was a stay at home mum. I've been the witness of a few violence in their couple. She asked for divorce because she was upset to feel like an employee in her own house. They had a divorce "pour faute" (in French, I don't know the English translation of this word, it means that one of the parents considered there is a fault from the other one)
About the divorce, I only had the point of view from my mother, as my dad never talked about it. Every days I had to live with sentences like "your dad is the devil, he doesn't want to pay alimonies for you anymore, he never loved you, he as another family now so he doesn't care about you". I believed her for years.
During the divorce, we were asked "with who do you want to live?" I had a brief mental calculation: "my mother is cool, she will let me do anything I want and she will have money due to French social system and alimonies (almost 500 euros/children+ 500 euros for my mum)." (no I'm not proud of me, but I was 12 how was I supposed to think?)
As I said, I've lived surrounded by girls (sisters and mum) for fifteen years. I almost fell in drug addiction (actually, I was addicted for years but I'm now starting to be okay since I live alone). I stopped to see my father when I was 16 and I was convinced it was my choice. I was convinced he deserved it and I never understood why my sister was still seeing him. Then, I passed a PhD in neurosciences (no, my colleagues didn't know about my addiction^^) and I went to my father to prouve him (and myself) that I didn't need him for anything. What a surprise when I met him... I started to see things in another way...
everything I love In life was brought by him: I love history because HE learned me how to like it. When I was very young HE offered me some Isaac Asimov's books, at this time I didn't like them but I rediscovered them during my adolescence and they are now my favorite books and I started to write some science fiction novels because of it. Most of my knowledge and my sense of duty was brought by him. She always considered that school isn't important, just get your baccalauréat and then do whatever you want.
But I met him many years later and He started to talk about the divorce and I had a refreshing point of view.
My mother always told me "your father hates me so much that he doesn't care about hurting you if he can hurt me". I always wondered "why?" especially because I felt she was much more angry than him. I asked him and here is his answer: "I have handled your mother for years without love just because I didn't want her to live with financial difficulties. We tried to stay together for kids and live our lives by our side but she didn't want to get a job, so I was still paying for someone I didn't love, I had to pay for her cigarets although I don't smoke, for her alcohol although I don't drink and she was starting to become alcoholic, and she stayed at home without meeting anyone, so she kept blaming me for her problems. Furthermore, I stayed with her, I made efforts for years to support her without love and SHE asked me for divorce?!? I wanted to pay less alimonies because she had time enough to get a job and earn her own money, you had grown enough and were at school all day long, most of the day, she just stayed on the couch drinking and smoking, furthermore I wanted to see my kids more often".This fact doesn't excuses his behavior but it explains.
And then some memories came back to me... I told you there was I few violence in their couple. I was just thinking about some slaps from my dad to my mum and this led me to think of my mum as an abused woman but while I was living as the only man with her I started to understand... How would you react when you work all day long and then, at home, your drunk wife/mum starts to blame you for anything, screaming at you for hours every single nights?
So here are the facts as I see them now: she gave me freedom, but he gave me everything else. I've always considered that she gave me everything, I always saw her sacrifices but never was HIS ones. If I've had the opportunity to go on a PhD it's due to HIS money, his everyday work, not her.
This kind of story, I saw it with many of my friends too... Now, I don't have any more sympathy for this kind of woman depicted in our society as poor women victims of patriarchal society. I still love her, she's still my mum but I do not consider her as a victim at all. More like a kind of "toxic woman".
Sorry for the bad English, not my first language...
Thanks for these interviews JP, this is a great way to find new authors to add to our reading lists
“ The best answer to someone that has a problem is well I have faith that you can overcome that”.
On ADHD or ADD. Compulsory education in particular is often superfluous. Some kids are smart enough to realize that fact, and that the purpose of many assignments is an arbitrary number or letter grade, regardless of the applicatory value of the matter of study. I am fortunate to have a good father. A grade, or social acceptance weren't gratifying. Love with my family was all that mattered, and that was worth working for, not the school of strangers.
- Elementary School Dropout
My father grow without his father next to him through a lot of hardships went to law schoo and graduated, but on his own words as a child he was lacking in so many ways because the absence of that father figure.
Wow, the production value for your home setup is great in this.
The general increase in production quality is very appropriate and very welcome. Good job JBP!
Thank you both so much