Это видео недоступно.
Сожалеем об этом.
Can I remain friends with my affair partner after an affair?
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 29 мар 2021
- Did your affair end but you want to remain friends with your affair partner? In this video, I share with you the real reason you want to be friends with your affair partner?
*
I have created a blog post to go along with this video sharing with you two more reasons it's not beneficial for you to remain friends with your affair partner.
moderndayeve.c...
*
My name Is Stacey and Im an infidelity coach. I specialize in helping unfaithful women end an affair, heal from the affair and transform into the woman God created them to be. I use the same tools that changed my life to help you change your life. You don't have to survive the affair but you can learn to thrive again.
#
If you would like to book a free compassion chat with me go to my website: HTTP://www.moderndayev...
#
You can find free resources on my website and a free 5-day email on how to end an affair.
*
You can contact me: stacey@moderndayeve.com
*
Follow me: Instagram modern.day.eve.coaching
Thank you for watching and please don't hesitate to message me if you ever need to talk.
The short answer is Yes, Absolutely Yes, Just make sure you can understand why Your Spouse is kicking you out and divorcing you. Anyone who wants to stay friends with their affair partner after destroying their spouse is no less than Pure Evil, Leave them behind, They will never change.
Especially when there's more than one affair
Not to mention it is disrespectful to your spouse.
How sad is it that you get this question a lot. My ex wife cheated with her married boss before we got married, and they had to continue to work together after. Guess why we divorced? Because they eventually went back to exploring how compatible they both are together. I filed for divorce after new messages surfaced and I started seeing red flags again. I literally told her this was the only reason we were getting divorced.
Once that line is crossed you can never go back to. Eimg just friends. But believing that you can is a way of keeping the connection alive and it prevents a complete healing from taking place. Bottom line you can't move forward. I'm sorry this happened to you. Praying for your healing.
@@staceychenevert I appreciate your response. I believe everyone can change, just have to want to. She didn't. It hasn't changed my view on marriage, since I know I did everything in my power to make things work. I just learned more about what to look for in the future and when to consider leaving if I spot certain things.
It just makes sense. If the Spouse/SO decides they can't accept the betrayal, with the aider & abetter still dangling around, then there are still options! It's wanting to stay connected for the memories. Hanging onto someone else who is into them BESIDES their SO ! Cheaters are like a sieve, they can NEVER be expected to NOT LEAK !
Thanks for explaining my emotions and situation!! Felt like I was going crazy!
Welcome and no you are not.going.crazy
I was unknowingly having an affair. I thought she was about to be divorced. Moved 1100 miles away. She then told me once I relocated that her husband was living with her. I'm crushed. What kind of person does this?
Im so sorry to hear this. I know this is so difficult for you. Infidelity is a very selfish relationship and oftentimes we are only thinking about what we want and whats best for ourselves.
Unknowingly,,, and about to be divorced...
...Don't go together...
So you knew you just didn't want to believe it..
@@Johnmiller-hp4mt So I gave up my career, my home, and then moved across the country in order to end the affair. That makes a lot of sense.
You should tell the husband
This is the road map to more pain. Don't do it. Don't start anything with a married person
Yes! Yes ! That was the worst pain of my life.
Why come here? Fact is everyone hurts in this triangle.
Other people are trying to heal too. Go spew your bitterness elsewhere
Go take out your pain on the one that actually caused it
We are not your whipping children
I realize that I am different than other people. However, I do not understand how anyone could ever trust someone who has had an affair. That established that the partner is ready, willing, and able to entertain other people by cheating on an established relationship. The partner cheated on should be unwilling to commit emotional suicide.
It hard to understand untill you have been faced with infidelity. I use to say the same.thing.
Generally speaking, it isn't a good idea to remain friends with an Ex because, even if you truly just want to be on speaking terms with them, you don't know what their agenda may be ? It is maintaining contact with them, but for what purpose ? It can be very destabilising on any subsequent relationship and frankly, disrespectful of them. That particular door needs closing !
Agreed
No. If I find out my girl is being piped out by an other dude idc what's the story imma just send him straight to heaven just don't cheat if u don't like ur current relationship leave don't cheat both men and woman cuz there are crazy people like me I got cheated on once I was 14 then I saw them at the park, cloundt control myself dude tried to step up to me took my brassknuckle and permanently destroyed his left eye and broke his jaw and eye socket. Just don't do it.
I never understood why people take it out on the person the significant other is cheating with. The responsibility falls more on the person who made the vows or agreed to exclusivity. If they are fine with cheating and lying to their significant other or spouse, they are okay with lying to their partner they are cheating with. That partner they are cheating with may not even know they have a marriage or relationship and would feel very sick, upset, disgusted, and angry if they knew.
Popping them off or unaliving them does not seem like the solution. I can understand your feelings but not your actions without knowing context of what's going on in the other person's head, like if you know exactly what she's been telling him. She could have been running to him telling him she was abused and can't get out for all you know. People who cheat can be devious and diabolical to lure their prey.
@verycherry4459 I wish I just walked away too at the end, it wasn't really worth it. We were young now im almost 20, and have to still pay for this what I did 6 years ago
As to my first comment - it's self-deception, right? 🤔🥺
Yes
And how does that all work if a child was born from the affair and married guy still wants to visit his secret child from time to time. Zero intention of telling his wife about the 6 year affair or his daughter 🤷🏻♀️ child is almost 3 and autistic. No other friends or family support even to care for her resigned from work so basically isolated exhausted and trapped while he gets to go back and pretend nothing happened and then pop by from time to time I just don’t see and healing happening for anyone here while he won’t admit the the truth.
In cases like that it's hard to avoid them but you can set boundaries to protect yourself from falling back in the trap. And try to focus on your healing. Because you can move forward whether he wants to confess or not. You don't need him to have a good future or to heal.
@@staceychenevert thank you for your reply. I feel horribly trapped and isolated in my house. My career life and routine is forever changed and now raising our daughter alone. It was my choice I told him no more. His wife we discovered now has cancer and is getting a double mastectomy next week and will not enable him to continue to cheat or leave someone with that going on so I told him tonight to at this has to be done and so like you said it’s hard to leave when it was still on a “good note” it’s been 6 years and things between us always just got better and nothing diminished at all.
Everything I listen to says to heal focus on hobbies or speak to family or friends or focus on your work. But I have none of those outlets. Even when I finally get my daughter into her ABA therapy that’s not all day limiting working because I’m a nurse and have long shifts. He is very well known in our field globally even causing limits to where I can even work that would work with my schedule. I feel like I can’t even apply normal healing strategies with my limitations now because of the consequences from our relationship. I’m sad to lose him and yet also angered for my daughter who will needlessly have an absent father, angry that he gets to go back to normal and literally my whole life is changed permanently. His other children are grown he’s raised 3 successful girls and was a perfect father so how can he just abandon another little girl for the sake of pride? Going back to do the right thing? But it’s not the right thing it’s just living another lie taking the easy road and the one who will suffer the most is our daughter. Ugh this was a fresh conversation tonight so I’m super triggered right now. He wants to come say goodbye to us on Saturday and I’d like to say goodbye but at the same time I want to just say nope but again I have a child to consider and don’t want to be that kind of parent who denies visits but it’s going to be terribly emotional for us both. What a mess.
You and your daughter deserve better than this 🌿🌸☀️😊
@@emilytaylor1001 thank you I have made rather poor choices, so I don’t think I deserve very much but my daughter who is innocent in all of this deserves the whole world💗 thank you for your kindness.
@@shannonkeenan0808 ~ I agree with emilytaylor1001 that you deserve better than this, as well as your daughter. Stacey always says, "You are not your mistakes." You deserve to heal from this. How are you doing now?
I am truly somewhat disturbed at how different (to put it nicely) the mentality of a cheating spouse is.
I have no clue in what world would this even be a question worth contemplating for longer than 3 seconds....
And that would just be for thought experiment purposes only.
Do affairs really change people like that? Or were they always "like that"?
I know it might come across as judgemental, but I'm really having a difficult time understanding like in what world is this OK?
Like say in their perfect world, they and the AP got married.
Would they be OK if their AP did them the same way? I would assume not.
Did the affair knock the empathy centers of their brains offline?
It's like living in bizarro world when dealing with some of them.
Yes affairs change people and their way of thinking. Because when we are in the romantic stage of love the emotional part of our brain has taken over and acting logically is not easy.
Right ! Like what kind of world do people live in to think that they can cheat on their husband with someone, and think it’s ok to stay friends or in contact with them and the husband would ok with it . Hell no , if my wife ever thought like that , she would be gone and I’d change my number and locks on my doors. That person is dunzo. But I have to understand there ARE people like this, and they will betray until it happens to them .
I will always love my AP, because we will be back together one day and married to each other.
Have a life meanwhile. You don't know what's going to happen
Wow. Sounds like u deserve each other.
I wish u guys could get together and he treats u the same way you treat your husband. Maybe then you can finally see what it feels like when someone does it to you.
I too will always love my AP and I know he feels the same way, but many years ago we went our separate ways due to life’s circumstances. We are both happily married now BUT we still have feelings for each other and regret decisions we made that kept us apart. Do not however try to be just friends, you cannot forget that you were once lovers and the old memories are very painful.