I'm in the place your husband was in. I considered our marriage of 25 years to be an open marriage after she wouldn't stop with her lover. but when I did the same to her, she was devastated!!.
It’s REALLY hard when it’s your old high school sweetheart who you genuinely do love and always have. Reconnected after 20 years and I fell for her like it was yesterday. But she’s married and unhappy….but stuck. I had to end it because it’s so painful and she doesn’t quite understand my position.
The high-school sweetheart is the kiss of death. Too easy to live in a fantasy fueled by the idealism of youth. The idea of recapturing the past is so seductive. It makes it even harder to see them for who they are now because who you were as teenagers and that innocent love overshadows the present moment. Many people go back to someone from high school because it's the ultimate escape from the harsh reality of adult life. (I've been there. Had an emotional affair years ago with a high school sweetheart. It took me a long time to see that he was a completely different person than we were at 17. We can't go back in time.)
1. You find yourself saying “if I was single I would not date this person.” 2. AP has infidelity in their past. 3. built resentment towards your husband.
Regarding sign 1: What if the ap is absolutely someone you would consider dating as a single, e.g. higher education, more shared interests, more attractive physical details than the current spouse?
An affair relationship is two wounded people with unhealthy attaccment styles building a relationship through deception. Which means that the unhealthy coping skills yall have will follow you into your new relationship and it wouldn't matter how much you have in common, those core wounds will tear yall apart.
Gosh.. I'm struggling big time.. I cant get over him, he is also married and so am I.. But I love him with all my heart.. Is been 8 months since any contact but I still strugling The pain, misery, loneliness, is so real.. I cant explain it..
Hi oh, I know the loneliness is deafening at times. I stayed stuck for years. But be encouraged you don't have to stay in this pain as long as I did. You are not alone I'm always here for you. If you need me please don't hesitate to email me. I will say it's good it has been 8 months NC.
I am in the same boat. And I love him so much! 3 weeks NC and I miss him but it has to be over. It was definitely a changing point in my life. He's not perfect but we had a real connection. I miss him but I have to move on for the sake of my husband and kid. Sending strength to you.
Thanks for the video! Why is it that it’s so one sided? The husband needs to do this this and this to meet her needs so she won’t be so vulnerable? No offense but do women see themselves as deities today? Sounds like a lot of women need to look at themselves. Again, thanks for the video, good things to think about on both ends :)
Most of them are with beta male. I would have send them out the minute I found out. They are not even a shame to come here and expose such shameful actions.
After I was unfaithful emotionally and partially physically, I am currently going through leaving my Affair Partner who was my best friend for two years..it's painful, for all parties involved. My husband sees where he went wrong in neglecting my concerns, and having another person to pick up where he wasn't showing love and affection. He is reeling from the after effects of all this being over and we know it will take time, effort and a lot more attention but I can identify with the whole 'I wish he would listen to me like you' and the fact I didn't see a future relationship with my AP..just brings it home. I'm sad I lost my best friend, but we knew it had to come to this when feelings changed. Thank you for this video.
WELCOME! The pain of losing your best friend will slowly go away. But once you and your husband become friends again you will find that you love having him as your best friend. Stay strong and keep moving forward. You will make it through this.
Oh my God. I feel so bad for your husband and you should honestly go to hell like what kind of person are you that puts your husband into blame for your decision. Mike what did you tell him for him to honestly think that this is his fault or it’s part of his fault. And you miss him? What are you talking about your husband or the affair partner?
Well mines married her coworker 2 months later pregnant giving birth to daughter She's the most bitter woman towards me. Our son 8 year old son devastated
Married 15 years. My wife didn't touch me and refused all intimacy for 8 years. I eventually had an affair meaning to start a new life with the woman i was in love with ,then the emotional black mail and verbal abuse began from my lover. And i cant help but feel like i got what i deserved in the end because now i have no one. The stigma and stain are too great to be able to speak with any friend or family. My heart is destroyed and it changed me and no one knows why and i cant tell them.
I'm sorry to hear, I know its so painful. I wouldn't say you deserve that but it is a consequence of an affair. Try to forgive yourself learn and move forward. Feel.free to set up a consultation if you want to talk.
I suspect your AP may have been frustrated IF you indicated a possible future together but haven’t meaningfully progressed the relationship. That said, verbal abuse is not acceptable under any circumstances.
@@camellia8625 you are correct. I fell in love and ignored red flags. Doing so was very unfair to her and myself I feel. When I couldn't ignore them any more it was too late we were both in love and I couldn't pull the trigger. I suppose feeling so unwanted for so long just made me foolishly involve someone into my life and have no regard to their emotional well-being. Honestly I don't feel guilty for stepping out but the guilt of all that is unbearable.
I haven't luck completely calling it quites but have tried. I. That time music helps. Songs that fit your mood. Whether it's man hating, sad love songs. But I got suckered back in. I'll be praying for us both.
My question to you, do you think your husband has a different personality to you? And did your affair partner have the same personality as you? Where actually you having sex with your mirror image ?, My husbands affair partners were all the same .”type” and the same personality as him, And we are very different, I don’t take myself seriously, Happy and laugh a lot at myself,he takes himself too seriously , complains a lot, not very happy, and always puts himself down
most of the time the AP is a lot more like you...or can also be very similar to your own father (mine was). i had some unprocessed grief from my father passing away a few years prior to the affair..and i know some of that is what led me to make a poor decision to get involved with someone else.
exact same here...the AP/relationship was simply fulfilling areas of lack or emptiness in my marriage and issues from childhood. i'd also lost my father 2.5 years prior to the onset of the relationship and i think i was still processing the grief/wondering if i'd been living my own life to the fullest. Not excusing any of it, because what i did was absolutely wrong, but i've spent a lot of time in introspection/coming to understand what happened and why i acted out. @@staceychenevert
My wife had a physical affair that started online with someone forty six years her junior in another country. I’m eleven years younger than her. Although I’m not perfect I tried to give her anything she wanted and put up with some of her bigoted toxic family. She’s trying but like she lost feelings for me I’ve found I don’t love her like I used to. She also had emotional affairs with other men. It seems like she wanted to be a teenager again. Sometimes things are good but I don’t trust her and I have prayers with flooding. She says she loves me but I’ve pulled back from the romantic things I used to do because I feel like I wasn’t appreciated. So how can she love me more now when part of me has given up? I just don’t want to be anyones fool.
My wife has been having an affair for the past 3yrs. I told her he must be perfect. We've been married for 30yrs, I've never laid a hand on this woman, I've worked 2 jobs since we've been married so I guess she was looking for Mr.Perfect and found him. We are still together, but her not talking about the affair is driving me insane. Our sex life went from fantastic to crap! and based on things I found when I discovered the affair, they were having an excellent sex life!
have you both considered counseling? i feel like someone with experience counseling couples who have been through the infidelity experience would be most helpful...if you BOTH are committed to working on your marriage.
I would personally leave. Going by what you say, she is being openly and continuously disrespectful with seemingly no desire to end the affair or take any sort of accountability…
![Do You Have A Controlling Spouse or Husband?! [10 SIGNS]](/img/1.gif)
I pray this video was helpful. If you have any questions please leave them below or email me.
I'm in the place your husband was in. I considered our marriage of 25 years to be an open marriage after she wouldn't stop with her lover. but when I did the same to her, she was devastated!!.
I'm sorry you are in that place. And it doesn't make sense I know but it is a common response in the unfaithful.
Wow this is open relationship things is a recipe for disaster
It’s REALLY hard when it’s your old high school sweetheart who you genuinely do love and always have. Reconnected after 20 years and I fell for her like it was yesterday. But she’s married and unhappy….but stuck. I had to end it because it’s so painful and she doesn’t quite understand my position.
I understand but you did the right thing for everybody.
The high-school sweetheart is the kiss of death. Too easy to live in a fantasy fueled by the idealism of youth. The idea of recapturing the past is so seductive. It makes it even harder to see them for who they are now because who you were as teenagers and that innocent love overshadows the present moment. Many people go back to someone from high school because it's the ultimate escape from the harsh reality of adult life. (I've been there. Had an emotional affair years ago with a high school sweetheart. It took me a long time to see that he was a completely different person than we were at 17. We can't go back in time.)
Your videos are always so insightful! You just know exactly what feelings and emotions that I’m going through.
1. You find yourself saying “if I was single I would not date this person.”
2. AP has infidelity in their past.
3. built resentment towards your husband.
Quite a role model.
Regarding sign 1: What if the ap is absolutely someone you would consider dating as a single, e.g. higher education, more shared interests, more attractive physical details than the current spouse?
An affair relationship is two wounded people with unhealthy attaccment styles building a relationship through deception. Which means that the unhealthy coping skills yall have will follow you into your new relationship and it wouldn't matter how much you have in common, those core wounds will tear yall apart.
@@staceychenevert Thank you very much for sharing your experience in such a clear and understandable manner!
@@followyourpassion8378 welcome
Thank you sooooo much!!!! Your videos is what I need !!!!
I'm so happy they are helping you. 💓 Whatever stage you are in hang in there you will get through this. Hugs to you!!
Gosh.. I'm struggling big time.. I cant get over him, he is also married and so am I.. But I love him with all my heart.. Is been 8 months since any contact but I still strugling
The pain, misery, loneliness, is so real.. I cant explain it..
Hi oh, I know the loneliness is deafening at times. I stayed stuck for years. But be encouraged you don't have to stay in this pain as long as I did. You are not alone I'm always here for you. If you need me please don't hesitate to email me. I will say it's good it has been 8 months NC.
I am in the same boat. And I love him so much! 3 weeks NC and I miss him but it has to be over. It was definitely a changing point in my life. He's not perfect but we had a real connection. I miss him but I have to move on for the sake of my husband and kid. Sending strength to you.
@@EButta71 you are a terrible person.
Damn you are a terrible person like why waste somebody’s time like that
Delusional smh your husband deserves better
Thanks for the video! Why is it that it’s so one sided? The husband needs to do this this and this to meet her needs so she won’t be so vulnerable? No offense but do women see themselves as deities today? Sounds like a lot of women need to look at themselves. Again, thanks for the video, good things to think about on both ends :)
Did you really just try to blame The person who got cheated on
Most of them are with beta male. I would have send them out the minute I found out. They are not even a shame to come here and expose such shameful actions.
After I was unfaithful emotionally and partially physically, I am currently going through leaving my Affair Partner who was my best friend for two years..it's painful, for all parties involved. My husband sees where he went wrong in neglecting my concerns, and having another person to pick up where he wasn't showing love and affection. He is reeling from the after effects of all this being over and we know it will take time, effort and a lot more attention but I can identify with the whole 'I wish he would listen to me like you' and the fact I didn't see a future relationship with my AP..just brings it home.
I'm sad I lost my best friend, but we knew it had to come to this when feelings changed. Thank you for this video.
WELCOME! The pain of losing your best friend will slowly go away. But once you and your husband become friends again you will find that you love having him as your best friend. Stay strong and keep moving forward. You will make it through this.
How long have you not contacted your AP? Is it getting any easier? Good luck!
Oh my God. I feel so bad for your husband and you should honestly go to hell like what kind of person are you that puts your husband into blame for your decision. Mike what did you tell him for him to honestly think that this is his fault or it’s part of his fault. And you miss him? What are you talking about your husband or the affair partner?
In the same situation AP was my best friend and now she despises me.
What does it mean when affair partner parks next to your house?
It could mean anything
Well mines married her coworker 2 months later pregnant giving birth to daughter
She's the most bitter woman towards me. Our son 8 year old son devastated
Married 15 years. My wife didn't touch me and refused all intimacy for 8 years. I eventually had an affair meaning to start a new life with the woman i was in love with ,then the emotional black mail and verbal abuse began from my lover. And i cant help but feel like i got what i deserved in the end because now i have no one. The stigma and stain are too great to be able to speak with any friend or family. My heart is destroyed and it changed me and no one knows why and i cant tell them.
I'm sorry to hear, I know its so painful. I wouldn't say you deserve that but it is a consequence of an affair. Try to forgive yourself learn and move forward. Feel.free to set up a consultation if you want to talk.
I suspect your AP may have been frustrated IF you indicated a possible future together but haven’t meaningfully progressed the relationship. That said, verbal abuse is not acceptable under any circumstances.
@@camellia8625 you are correct. I fell in love and ignored red flags. Doing so was very unfair to her and myself I feel. When I couldn't ignore them any more it was too late we were both in love and I couldn't pull the trigger. I suppose feeling so unwanted for so long just made me foolishly involve someone into my life and have no regard to their emotional well-being. Honestly I don't feel guilty for stepping out but the guilt of all that is unbearable.
of course because the next relationship is two people who know each other has the capability to cheat
Where do I find your free course on dealing with withdrawal symptoms?
I have a free 5 day email course on my website and I also have a paid 4 week online video course you can purchase.
I haven't luck completely calling it quites but have tried. I. That time music helps. Songs that fit your mood. Whether it's man hating, sad love songs. But I got suckered back in. I'll be praying for us both.
My question to you, do you think your husband has a different personality to you? And did your affair partner have the same personality as you? Where actually you having sex with your mirror image ?, My husbands affair partners were all the same .”type” and the same personality as him, And we are very different, I don’t take myself seriously, Happy and laugh a lot at myself,he takes himself too seriously , complains a lot, not very happy, and always puts himself down
Hi, yes my husband and my affair partner are completely different, but I find that my ap and I mirrored each other.
most of the time the AP is a lot more like you...or can also be very similar to your own father (mine was). i had some unprocessed grief from my father passing away a few years prior to the affair..and i know some of that is what led me to make a poor decision to get involved with someone else.
Question? What did you get from your affair partner, that made you keep it going?
I got all.four areas of intimacy needs met. So because I was empty in those areas which triggered my childhood wounds I tolerated the red flags.
exact same here...the AP/relationship was simply fulfilling areas of lack or emptiness in my marriage and issues from childhood. i'd also lost my father 2.5 years prior to the onset of the relationship and i think i was still processing the grief/wondering if i'd been living my own life to the fullest. Not excusing any of it, because what i did was absolutely wrong, but i've spent a lot of time in introspection/coming to understand what happened and why i acted out. @@staceychenevert
Are you willing to help men?
Hi yes I have male clients now. The link to schedule is in the description box.
My wife had a physical affair that started online with someone forty six years her junior in another country. I’m eleven years younger than her. Although I’m not perfect I tried to give her anything she wanted and put up with some of her bigoted toxic family. She’s trying but like she lost feelings for me I’ve found I don’t love her like I used to. She also had emotional affairs with other men. It seems like she wanted to be a teenager again. Sometimes things are good but I don’t trust her and I have prayers with flooding. She says she loves me but I’ve pulled back from the romantic things I used to do because I feel like I wasn’t appreciated. So how can she love me more now when part of me has given up? I just don’t want to be anyones fool.
@@paulthomas2678 Im so sorry to hear I know how painful this is. One thing to understand is its not your fault.
why would you have an affair partner in the first place?
Beautiful
Thank you
@@staceychenevert your welcome x
Question? What did you get from your affair partner, that made you want to keep it going.
Madam if u r ap was a medical professional and he was having fun with yo u it was a breach of trust and professional ethics
I am well aware of that.
So how can I know if my partner is not setisfied if He doesnt talk
It may be because they don't feel they can speak freely without being judged.
Hi do u offer after care at all?
Hi yes I offer after affair care.
Oh goodness. Ty
Welcome
Can i have a private session
Do you help men?
Hi Bill yes I do
Take religion out of it!
My wife has been having an affair for the past 3yrs. I told her he must be perfect. We've been married for 30yrs, I've never laid a hand on this woman, I've worked 2 jobs since we've been married so I guess she was looking for Mr.Perfect and found him. We are still together, but her not talking about the affair is driving me insane. Our sex life went from fantastic to crap! and based on things I found when I discovered the affair, they were having an excellent sex life!
WTF???
have you both considered counseling? i feel like someone with experience counseling couples who have been through the infidelity experience would be most helpful...if you BOTH are committed to working on your marriage.
I would personally leave. Going by what you say, she is being openly and continuously disrespectful with seemingly no desire to end the affair or take any sort of accountability…