Episode 2: Why Do the Unfaithful Disparage the Betrayed to their Affair Partner?

Have you, as an Unfaithful, disparaged your spouse or partner to your affair partner? Maybe you've shared intimate details about your marriage to your affair partner? Perhaps you complained to your affair partner about your spouse?
If you're an Unfaithful and trying to face the reality of this scenario, there is hope and there is a way you can help your betrayed spouse heal. If you're a betrayed partner, and your spouse shared intimate and compromising details about your life and marriage to their affair partner, it can be gut wrenching, humiliating and enough to make you want to not even try to save the marriage.
Why would they do it? Why would the actor or unfaithful go to such lengths to disparage you to the other party? Why would they feel the need to appear as though you are the reason they were acting out in the first place?
Today on Ask the Unfaithful, you'll hear James and Sam provide pivotal information into why most Unfaithfuls actually engage in this problematic behavior.
#infidelity #survivinginfidelity #betrayal #unfaithfull_ #affairrecovery #ptsd #cptsd #addiction #addictionrecovery #addictionrecovery #betrayaltrauma
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[@LoneStarLady-]

Can read all the books and watch videos but unless they put it into play it is meaningless. Real heart change, developing empathy and humility and demonstrating it, not just giving it lip service, showing remorse and making amends is needed. I like how you talk about the time invested in the acting out and the affair partners. We betrayed know how much has been given away and want to have some sense of restoration and investment put back into us and into the marriage.

[@DonAliEverett-rh4tg]

18 plus months and he still can't tell me what he told himself to justify the affairs

[@johnmccloskey3660]

Good work Sam, glad to see more content from you. Keep going brother.

[@samshealingpodcast]

means a ton my friend, thanks so much.

[@kljfaith]

Sooooooo helpful!! Thanks for doing this podcast.

[@jujubangka]

I have stayed in the marriage for almost 1.5 years after my wife emotional affair with her colleague, just signed the divorce papers recently, when we argue, all she emphasizes on her feelings (how i neglected her feeling and some other made up stuff inside her head) and feels like she is entitled to affair. But as always, great to see your content Sam. I hope that i can move forward and i hope that my ex wife will regret and face reality.

[@sdreeves42]

My wife loves to do this thing where she tries to steer the focus to the guys she DIDN'T cheat with. I bring up the guy, she's like "there were lots of guys I didn't do that with..."
Like what the fuck even is that?

[@mysticmama_3692]

​@sdreeves42 ew...what is she expecting? An award for NOT screwing every single guy? I'm so sorry you're going through this...I'm a betrayed wife, but I cannot imagine how disrespected this makes you feel as a man and my heart goes out to you.

[@jasonbaker4120]

Been 5.5 years since I found out about emotional affair. 6 months since I found out it is still going on. Working on separation papers now. My wife said its because I wasn’t there for her 10 years ago. 18 year marriage. 3 beautiful daughters and now because Canadian Laws are so fucked up I lose half my wealth and can barely afford to keep my house so my kids have some stability. I never pressured my wife to make a lot of money because I did well. Boy is that costing me now.

[@gemlilypad4484]

​@@sdreeves42as a Betrayed, I've had repeated gaslit demands to praise him, be impressed that some, SOME, of the secret sex encounters he had set up he would change mind b4 they met physically, and allegedly cancelled the 'date'. Ok. Yay. He is blind to his reaching out in 1st place, , had to make sure he was safe to communicate via text email (usually away frome), put thought into if the person would trip is trigger, then add time for secretive little sexy conversations to heighten thrill, and finally pick a time on calendar ,.plus create alibi. He simply filtered out anything but a few moments of guilty conscience elevated to heroic action. We've cycled thru the episodes of a discovery, rel'ship eroding more rapidly than after previous discovered event. We've split for the 5th and final time. This channel is so FAIR, I have already begun to heal more than I had before. This time though, I'm healing me. This time I've had minimal despair. The real eye-opening sharing these 2 do are going to keep me from a pit. Im starting to envision a future with new partner and we never ever START the painful patterns I've finessed for 11 years.

[@brendajodrey4385]

So helpful!! Thank you!

[@samshealingpodcast]

thank you for the kind words. they mean more than you know.