My Friend with Speech Apraxia (Difficulty Communicating but Understanding Everything)

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  • Опубликовано: 28 сен 2024
  • Emma is diagnosed with speech apraxia. It is difficult for her to communicate verbally but she understands everything. Emma was also my student for three years and a large part of why SBSK has grown to impact hundreds of millions around the globe. This is her story.
    SBSK Patreon: / sbsk
    SBSK's Socials:
    / specialbooksbyspecialkids
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Комментарии • 178

  • @courtneyr214
    @courtneyr214 3 года назад +275

    Chris, you are absolutely amazing with her. You bring out the best in people.

  • @raraxavis13
    @raraxavis13 2 года назад +86

    I know this comment may get lost, but I run a horse farm in Maryland and would give any special child or person the time to ride or spend time with a horse if they so desired! For free of course. I am so inspired by what you do and would love to contribute in any way I can to help these special people achieve their goals and dreams!

    • @davidparker9676
      @davidparker9676 Год назад +1

      I have a friend in California with horse therapy business. It really makes a huge improvement. The magic of horses is still amazing to me and I would like to understand why it works so well.

    • @joebalkonis
      @joebalkonis Год назад

      Thats an amazing thing for you to do. I am in NJ but would love to take my daughter there some time!

    • @theexpotition
      @theexpotition Год назад

      Everyone should like this comment to help boost it to the top, this is so awesome!

    • @watchmo2310
      @watchmo2310 6 месяцев назад

      lmao imagine writing all that for nobody to care

    • @AbbySimpson-kt6be
      @AbbySimpson-kt6be 6 месяцев назад +1

      Bless your heart❤ i live in Argentina but that sounds amazing!!

  • @beatyemitchell8992
    @beatyemitchell8992 2 года назад +55

    my 10 year old daighter has apraxia as part of her autism. each word is such a celebration. i hope she learns to speak as clearly as ms emma. thank you for sharing your story.

  • @allinson_sam
    @allinson_sam 3 года назад +28

    Chris is so patient with people with disabilities & so understanding wish there was more Chris' in the world.

  • @jayc2469
    @jayc2469 3 года назад +50

    Emma is incredible, to see how *immediately* responsive she is to Chris, when talking to her and particularly when singing to her!
    I have to say that Chris, it appears that you are making a *Massive* positive impression to your Students and all that can just stop for a moment and consider the selfless guidance and positive reinforcement you give in all around you it seems! What you have done and continue to do is priceless. You Sir are making massive positive impressions that will outlive generations, so long may you be that guiding light to so many Special People

    • @davidparker9676
      @davidparker9676 Год назад

      Music is a great tool to help people with many situations. I had a client taking care of his elderly mother with alzheimers and dementia. She was very confused and agitated. While I was working at the home I mentioned to the son about playing some of her favorite music from when she was a teenager. When he put the music on, she immediately changed to being happy, laughing and started talking about her memories of dating and having fun with her friends. It was such a touching, memorable and special moment, I'll never forget how powerful music can be to bring us out of our shell.

  • @Popsicleman313
    @Popsicleman313 3 года назад +66

    This channel helped me find new purpose in life... i lost my mother a few months ago... and when i found this channel... i was able to smile and shed tears that were for joy and not sadness.... Thank You Chris for EVERYTHING you do for these kids.... They all have had a positive impact because of what you do :)

    • @inkognito9950
      @inkognito9950 2 года назад +3

      If you need someone to talk to, I'd be glad to listen.

    • @Popsicleman313
      @Popsicleman313 2 года назад +3

      @@inkognito9950 Thank you so much.... im doing pretty good .. Thank you for your support

    • @inkognito9950
      @inkognito9950 2 года назад +3

      @@Popsicleman313 good to hear that. If you've made it through that, nothing is going to stop you.

    • @Popsicleman313
      @Popsicleman313 2 года назад +2

      @@inkognito9950 Thank you

    • @lucyii
      @lucyii Год назад +1

      What a beautiful comment. I hope you found support and healing ❤❤❤

  • @trinityleady5253
    @trinityleady5253 3 года назад +61

    Oh Emma.. I had so much to say when this first came out and I’m so happy to be able to now. I adore your sense of humor and how nice you are. I also love that you have a mother who advocates for you at those times when some of those highways are closed. You’re amazing and you will do great things!❤️ love from Ohio.

  • @extracelestial1027
    @extracelestial1027 3 года назад +37

    singing obviously makes her so happy

  • @marksneddon3709
    @marksneddon3709 2 года назад +11

    My good mate
    Playing guitar?
    What can’t you do.
    The world NEEDS More people like you
    ❤️

  • @cheyennethedoberpup478
    @cheyennethedoberpup478 2 года назад +14

    Such a intelligent young lady. She’s no different the anyone else. What a beautiful soul. You as well Chris. Please continue to bring joy and happiness to all you interview and for all of us who continue to watch. ❤️

    • @Tom-zg6sb
      @Tom-zg6sb 5 месяцев назад

      Makes life jolly hard

  • @khay9833
    @khay9833 2 года назад +160

    Emma's mom's way of describing Apraxia was absolutely incredible.
    Thank you so much for putting it into a perspective I could understand

    • @SR-xo9kl
      @SR-xo9kl 2 года назад +7

      Pretty sure that would have been the way the Doctor explained it to Emma's mother. So she now uses it to explain to other people in a way they understand.

  • @modenam9046
    @modenam9046 3 года назад +10

    I got the chills when you two were singing. If only more people could be patient and kind like Chris, the world would be just about perfect ❤️❤️

  • @robiny.4395
    @robiny.4395 2 года назад +13

    He's so amazing. He knows how to bring her out. Love him.

  • @housenhunter2443
    @housenhunter2443 3 года назад +19

    Hey Emma, so glad the comments are back so we can talk with you! Thank you for sharing your story and for helping all of us better to understand other people. You are truly inspiring and I love your shirt it's super cute!

  • @bambinevills-denning9505
    @bambinevills-denning9505 3 года назад +10

    It’s really great to see you with one of your original students. Emma is an awesome girl.

  • @laurenceweens4492
    @laurenceweens4492 3 года назад +8

    Great kid, great mum, great teacher.
    In the last video, I seem to remember this little boy went on to teach in your class and the little girl he helped out was Emma.

  • @CarterKey6
    @CarterKey6 2 года назад +7

    Chris is an amazing person we need more people like him hopefully his videos go viral literally

  • @natb9050
    @natb9050 2 года назад +6

    Emma, you are an amazing young lady. Your smile is infectious ❤
    Chris, you are an incredible human being. The positivity, understanding, compassion and care you have for the beautiful people you talk to is admirable. Thank you for let us meet them all through your videos ❤

  • @staciowen4117
    @staciowen4117 2 года назад +3

    She is so beautiful inside & out. ❤ Chris has an undeniable unique gift with people & the world is benefitting from it through these videos

  • @Bananadiva1
    @Bananadiva1 3 года назад +16

    Comments are back... YAAAAAY!! I love Emma and her Mum. They're fab. I remember Emma from some of the clips I've seen in your classes.

  • @Sarah.Riedel
    @Sarah.Riedel Год назад +4

    I have to admit, for the first few minutes of the interview I was not entirely sure how much Emma was comprehending, as I know very little about speech apraxia - but when Chris asked her about the song she sung all those years ago, and you could see her thinking about it and then finally, suddenly she came out with "Bob Marley" my heart absolutely soared...and then she immediately remembered which song it was as well. This video has singlehandedly changed the way I view this disability. ❤

  • @DJ-Dreaming
    @DJ-Dreaming 2 года назад +11

    Chris, you're an Amazing teacher, we probably were a bit too young to have met as teacher and student but I would have learned things from you Easily. My Teachers were great too and I can live Indapendantly because of their professionalism. All I'm saying is Teachers like yourself aren't celebrated enough. I like how you grab bad stigma and throw it away to show people with a Disability can do a lot, Understanding that goes a dang long way towards independence. Having a beer with you, cheers mate.

  • @twikiriizeclare2239
    @twikiriizeclare2239 3 года назад +7

    Chris thank you for impacting and changing lives.indeed you make the world a better place for everyone

  • @JoseMaGM
    @JoseMaGM 3 года назад +34

    Well, Emma nailed that three little birds lyrics. Even I couldn't remember all of it 😅

  • @seawrightstudios
    @seawrightstudios 3 года назад +9

    What an awesome teacher this man is. I would strive to be this kind of teacher.

  • @thedaystarsfall
    @thedaystarsfall 3 года назад +41

    Emma, you are the cutest! *hug*

  • @jacksonb6444
    @jacksonb6444 3 года назад +6

    She really came to life around Chris as the video progressed. I get an occasional stutter and it’s like my brain stops in its tracks for a second and can’t get my mouth to say the words I’m trying say, I can’t imagine how frustrating it is to deal with it constantly.

  • @PineyRider
    @PineyRider 3 года назад +8

    Emma is so cool and pretty. Everything she says is worth waiting to hear. You rock, Emma!!!

  • @haiimlexi69
    @haiimlexi69 3 года назад +9

    you are amazing emma ! watching you and chris sing together is great ♥️

  • @tuathadesidhe1530
    @tuathadesidhe1530 3 года назад +5

    My son's main diagnosises are severe oral and verbal dyspraxia/apraxia of speech, mild global dyspraxia, selective mutism and sensory processing and integration disorder.
    He was nonverbal until the age of 5.5 years old other than the words mum, my, and no and some animal sounds - his speechy said it was time to integrate him into the deaf community because they thought he was going to be one of the kids that never talk... But he refused to learn sign language because he had already invented his own sign language - out of desperation I done the GAPS protocol with him - and he started talking, within a fortnight he had a huge vocabulary and was putting 3 and 4 word sentences together, his sensory issues and toe walking all greatly improved - I highly recommend trying the first week or 2 of the GAPS protocol for anything neurological, gut or autoimmune.
    We still have weekly therapies for certain sounds and sound combinations (he just turned 9) but prior to GAPS he was unable to actually participate.

  • @lindalowe337
    @lindalowe337 3 года назад +3

    Emma, you are a joy to watch. Let your intelligence and want to succeed take you wherever you want in life.

  • @TheRealMythril
    @TheRealMythril 3 года назад +3

    Thank you for the comments You tube! All of your stories deserve responses! You are amazing and your voice is fantastic!

  • @ingerduursma313
    @ingerduursma313 3 года назад +5

    This video made me so happy :))
    Emma, you are amazing and I absolutely loved the singing (I'm also quite jealous of your job, it sounds great!) Hope you stay a happy person forever!
    And Chris, I have been watching your videos for quite some time now, but I don't think I have left a comment yet. This channel has actually taught me more useful than high school did. Please keep doing what you're doing, and keep this channel filled with the best people ever and get them on this podium they deserve!

  • @Nyokicat99
    @Nyokicat99 Год назад +1

    she is so cute, esp with her connection to music and singing. shes almost like another person

  • @fabifreitas4952
    @fabifreitas4952 3 года назад +5

    Emma, you are such a wonderful girl! You brought joy to my night!

  • @cheese5688
    @cheese5688 Год назад +2

    I also have apraxia of the speech, I don’t know much about it and I can speak almost entirely “normal” thanks to almost 10 years of speech therapy. My mom said to me that when I was young I said basically nothing. A lot of people consider my problem resolved but they don’t know the mental energy and focus that goes into speaking that’s easy for other people,

    • @sadslug
      @sadslug Год назад

      That's really impressive! I struggle to connect with others in a different way, with social anxiety. Do you mind if I ask- Is it easier for you to talk through text because you have time to really think about your ideas and the words you want to use?

  • @rbbeautylife9093
    @rbbeautylife9093 2 года назад +2

    I love "water". She's adorable. Keep smiling.

  • @SimPilotMika
    @SimPilotMika Год назад +1

    Perfect explanation as to what being non-verbal actually feels like
    I’m partially-verbal due to autism, this is what it feels like, you can’t connect your brain to your mouth

  • @wonderlandrious6116
    @wonderlandrious6116 9 месяцев назад +1

    Emma is so beautiful and full of charm! She's making me laugh when he copies him!

  • @laneyculver4247
    @laneyculver4247 Год назад

    I can relate to Emma too because i have a type of apraxia too. I know we’re she is coming from I used to really snuggle with my speech but thanks to speech therapy I no longer have that problem. It’s really cool too see someone who has the same disability as me it’s very rare i get to see it. Thanks for making such an inspiring video and spreading more awareness. I really appreciate you. Thanks for sharing your story!

  • @eleonorlight2073
    @eleonorlight2073 3 года назад +4

    Chris you are amazing I would like to be like you! You bring the best out of these wonderful and special human beings.

  • @boyprevos4464
    @boyprevos4464 3 года назад +6

    We should all be a little bit more like Chris. Awesome role model.

  • @marialopez531
    @marialopez531 3 года назад +5

    Omggg this video made my whole day

  • @twinsworld8469
    @twinsworld8469 Год назад +2

    A great video! She might benefit from an AAC device. It would help her to be able to say what she is thinking on the inside.

  • @ilovecairo
    @ilovecairo 8 месяцев назад +1

    At 9:25 when Chris asks Emma what her biggest wish is you could really see the frustration in Emma. You can tell she wanted to say something else but all she could say was"water". Then Chris proceeds to say "why were you laughing at yourself?" And she replies "because i said water" in a defeated/frustrated manner.
    She probably didn't say water because quenching her thirst is her biggest wish (as assumed by Chris), but more likely had something to do with the beach or going swimming. Just my guess.

  • @AbbySimpson-kt6be
    @AbbySimpson-kt6be 6 месяцев назад

    Shes so wonderful❤ i truly hope she knows

  • @caamypaz
    @caamypaz 3 года назад +5

    I'm so happy to meet you, Emma, you're so cute, funny and smart!

  • @marleenninaka1303
    @marleenninaka1303 3 года назад +2

    Hi everyone: It's so nice to see you all again on RUclips. I want to meet you all one day. Take care and stay safe.

  • @notthesame8991
    @notthesame8991 3 года назад +2

    What a fantastic end to the video 😂🤣
    So much sass Emma! 😆
    Pretty cool song choice too.

  • @caraid9263
    @caraid9263 3 года назад +1

    So fun to hear you sing!!

  • @StardustSymphony4607
    @StardustSymphony4607 2 года назад

    Emma, water was a brilliant answer!! We are mostly made of water. We can go longer without food than water. It is crucial for our survival. I completely understood where you were coming from with that response🙂 And I bet the animals at your job LOVE you. You are such a gentle spirit and they probably feel so safe with you!

  • @southlondon86
    @southlondon86 3 года назад +2

    Sir you are so inspirational! 👍👍👍

  • @stephniek
    @stephniek 2 года назад +1

    God bless you Chris

  • @TheHamishX
    @TheHamishX 2 года назад +4

    Hey Emma! It's so cool that you get to work with animals. I am jealous. I feel like we could have been friends of we lived near each other we could have ridden horses together. Love and well wishes from Canada!

  • @lillymurray8408
    @lillymurray8408 3 года назад +3

    I wonder if when she hears the questions being asked if she wants to say something else but just can’t? Like for example if someone was like “what was you favorite part about going to the mall yesterday” and in my brain I knew what I wanted to say but all that came out was “good or happy” that has to be so frustrating if so. I love her laugh so much. It’s definitely infectious if she laughs super hard lol her mom is also so amazing.

    • @smelly4498
      @smelly4498 2 года назад +1

      yeah i’m not sure if it’s like being nonverbal where i can’t bring myself to talk even though the thought is there or if she can’t form a thought in the first place like brain fog

    • @tcbobb1613
      @tcbobb1613 2 года назад +1

      I have Apraxia of speech as well. I can hear everything that being said to me and able to understand it 100%.

  • @mirjammnwadigo6358
    @mirjammnwadigo6358 9 месяцев назад

    I wonder if sign language could assist her speech as well? Very lovely interview ❤️ thank you for sharing!

  • @havoknkhaos91
    @havoknkhaos91 Год назад +1

    I cant help but tear up when watching Chris's channel! Such a sweet man and such sweet souls he has on his videos!

  • @angelreilly8312
    @angelreilly8312 3 года назад +8

    I wish Chris taught me.. I might have cared a bit more about school if he was my teacher 🤣

  • @savvykronik4192
    @savvykronik4192 2 года назад +3

    It’s cute when mom was saying how the teacher was a real booster for her daughter and she was totally blushing.
    Edit. And props to this guy, he has a good understanding of the way to interact smoothly and patiently.

  • @dollydagger8492
    @dollydagger8492 Год назад

    I finally figured out ! Years I've been trying to figure out why my son was talking but Emma reminds me so much of my kid! You are my hero Emma! We also love Sponge Bob too!

  • @the1misscinny
    @the1misscinny Год назад

    Music is processed in a different part of the brain than speech! My sister had Aphasia, which isn’t the same condition at all but I learned about speech issues because of it. My sister could sing along to songs very well even when her normal speech didn’t make a bit of sense.

  • @JojoJojo-qr5ye
    @JojoJojo-qr5ye 3 года назад +2

    God bless you all.

  • @SR-xo9kl
    @SR-xo9kl 2 года назад

    Emma's response is quick if you ask a question and offer her a choice of two replies when you ask. I noticed that.

  • @gracedeshong6358
    @gracedeshong6358 Год назад

    Chris*you are AmAzInG💕✝️Blessing & Gift from God*to help these young kids,adults,whatever n whoever✝️💕Bless your Heart!! You do so much good in this world for ones you help and people you’ve never even met before✝️your amazing at what you do!!

  • @alvinfell4471
    @alvinfell4471 7 месяцев назад

    She is adorable.

  • @Tom-zg6sb
    @Tom-zg6sb 5 месяцев назад

    Had this since birth, apart of me is fed up having it now, apart of me hopes for an early ☠️ so I can start a new life in a new earth 🌏 body

  • @AbbySimpson-kt6be
    @AbbySimpson-kt6be 6 месяцев назад

    Chris, i need you to come to Argentina so i can meet you😂

  • @marcelredplanet3765
    @marcelredplanet3765 3 года назад +4

    Sometimes it seems like Chris is looking at himself in the camera and thinks: Damn, I'm handsome... oh no, wait. That is what I think of him when he does that ;)

    • @jeffx9149
      @jeffx9149 3 года назад +3

      He is beautiful inside and out.

  • @jennifermommy9373
    @jennifermommy9373 2 года назад

    My daughter loves music to. She also has a hard time.e getting her words out, unless she is singing a song. There's something there with that. I'm gonna play with music and rhythm to see if that can help us communicate.

  • @SarahPriceHancock
    @SarahPriceHancock Год назад

    Since she has apraxia, I really cannot wrap my brain around why she doesn't have access to a speech generating device. I also have apraxia. My speech generating device allows me to communicate in meaningful ways when the words won't come out of my mouth.

  • @chibbothy
    @chibbothy 2 года назад

    the “ah nevermind” joke made me laugh so much

  • @reneeramirez1969
    @reneeramirez1969 Месяц назад

    ❤God bless ❤

  • @dannycollier6645
    @dannycollier6645 Год назад +1

    my friend Chloe has a speech 💬 impale

  • @orlyg.5508
    @orlyg.5508 Год назад

    This video. Therapy is important

  • @nikkoleadams4677
    @nikkoleadams4677 3 года назад +5

    I would love to know if Emma communicates in type?! Like, can she text or write essays?

    • @tristantheoofer2
      @tristantheoofer2 3 года назад

      probably lol. i think one of them metioned speech apraxia was some kinda recall disorder thingy but typing and writing arent fully tied to speaking lul

    • @smelly4498
      @smelly4498 2 года назад +1

      @@tristantheoofer2 i’m autistic and have occasional nonverbal episodes. for me it’s much easier to type if i’m struggling to speak, i guess being able to think over what i type before sending it helps me organize my thoughts better. idk if apraxia is like brain fog where you can’t find the right things to say, or a nonverbal episode where it’s all formed but it can’t come out
      really interesting stuff

  • @anacristinamotalopes2740
    @anacristinamotalopes2740 Год назад +1

    Muito amor

  • @abzd6535
    @abzd6535 3 года назад

    Chris looks just like Joey Graceffa from the side profile. Like I think this on every video, it’s crazy

  • @corinneweisbein6679
    @corinneweisbein6679 2 года назад

    Emma is absolutely gorgeous and beautiful 😍

  • @ethansons7085
    @ethansons7085 2 года назад +1

    Jesús 🙏 Amén

  • @kaylawatson7614
    @kaylawatson7614 Год назад

    She goes to my school called north Florida school of special education and I have hsp

  • @bethanymcpherson8380
    @bethanymcpherson8380 3 года назад +2

    I'm curious about this disorder. Is it that she has trouble physically moving the muscles of her mouth? Or that she has trouble forming the thoughts in her mind?
    Like, if she had a different way if communicating... Signing, a communication board, etc, would she be able to communicate better?
    I can't imagine how frustrating it would be to understand someone else, know what you want to say, and just not be able to get it out. But she seems so joyful and wonderful!

    • @Ciela887
      @Ciela887 3 года назад +7

      I was curious about different forms of communication as well, but Apraxia involves part of the brain, so it seems to be more about forming the words themselves rather than being able to speak.
      Emma seems to be better when questions are less open-ended, as she probably doesn't need to form as many words/phrases in her response. You can see that Chris sometimes rephrases questions to they're more targeted. Classic teacher move. :)
      I am so fascinated by her ability to sing fluidly. The power of music strikes again. AND the power of humor. :D ("Ah, nevermind!" lol)

    • @bethanymcpherson8380
      @bethanymcpherson8380 3 года назад +4

      @@Ciela887 I also noticed that she seemed better able to reply if Chris had said the words she was searching for recently. I wonder if a communication board with select words would be helpful to "prime" her brain.

    • @Ciela887
      @Ciela887 3 года назад

      @@bethanymcpherson8380 Good point! :)

  • @kyles3884
    @kyles3884 3 года назад +3

    Chris is going to make me gay the more I watch his interviews

  • @anacristinamotalopes2740
    @anacristinamotalopes2740 Год назад

    Mucho amor

  • @Tom-zg6sb
    @Tom-zg6sb 5 месяцев назад

    I’ve personally had enough of a life with appraxia , let me move on to a nice healthy baby body ,

  • @l_1.618
    @l_1.618 3 года назад

    ❤️❤️❤️

  • @donnanewby3386
    @donnanewby3386 Год назад

    Does Emma use any methods to help her communicate her thoughts in words?

  • @heldlightning7118
    @heldlightning7118 3 года назад +1

    😎

  • @villvisual5406
    @villvisual5406 3 года назад

    Wow that’s amazing, i hope she has a karaoke machine so she can practice. ☺️

  • @Tom-zg6sb
    @Tom-zg6sb 5 месяцев назад

    What’s death 💀 like

  • @onthefasttracktoheaven
    @onthefasttracktoheaven 2 года назад

    Is she able to communicate by writing?

    • @tcbobb1613
      @tcbobb1613 2 года назад

      I have Apraxia of speech as well. Apraxia of speech is a neurological disorder that only affects our speech. technically we should not have any writing deficits, But It's super common for us to have other disabilities that could make it harder us to write. I have dyslexia as well.

  • @jaygotit4446
    @jaygotit4446 2 года назад

    How can 1 man take in so much pain...

  • @karo8612
    @karo8612 3 года назад

  • @AnywhereChrista
    @AnywhereChrista 3 года назад +1

    It's ok if she doesn't want to talk. She seems uncomfortable.

    • @PianoDisneygal10
      @PianoDisneygal10 3 года назад +29

      It’s not really that she doesn’t want to. It’s that her brain is making it very difficult for her to.

  • @xXelitegpXx
    @xXelitegpXx 3 года назад

    First

  • @СергейКравченко-ш5у4у

    Ну и зачем ты пишешь заголовки к видео на русском языке думаешь у нас своих инвалидов нет, у нас миллионы здоровых погибли и за вашего бандитского гогосударства.

  • @haydenanderson2121
    @haydenanderson2121 2 года назад +97

    Sometimes the less words used to respond the more impactful the response can be.
    “What makes you happy?
    “Love.”
    Fantastic answer :]

  • @shayisenor6896
    @shayisenor6896 3 года назад +167

    Hello Emma. It was wonderful hearing you talk about your memories with Chris. Thank you for allowing me to get a glimpse into your life. The video of you singing Bob Marley really made me smile. I hope you are doing well.

  • @KalleVonEi
    @KalleVonEi 3 года назад +109

    This channel is the wholesome break i need after one of...you know...these days...

  • @rowanrocklamp9178
    @rowanrocklamp9178 3 года назад +22

    Emma we're the same age and I would love to be friends and talk to you regularly you're so sweet, thank you for being on SBSK and I hope you're doing well ❣️

  • @thenerrdpit7441
    @thenerrdpit7441 3 года назад +11

    Thank you so much Emma for sharing your experience with us, being so open and vulnerable. I cannot imagine the frustration you must feel sometimes. Keep singing, keep being yourself