When men actually try to speak out about their own assaults, it gets the same reaction as these films. Terry Crews got so many people laughing at him and calling him weak. I'm very proud of him for bringing so much more attention to this.
A family friend of mine went to prison. His first night,he sat and listened to screams of men being raped. He cried the entire night, decided to become a pastor when he got out. He got out, became a pastor and tells about that experience in his services. He almost cries every time.
The Terry Crews part almost made me tear up. The numerous jokes about sexual assault are gross enough but to dismiss and _laugh at_ someone who has actually been sexually assaulted is a whole new level of low
i remember i was watching icarly once. spencer was on a date with a girl, and when carly got home she heard screaming from the room they were in. carly ran in to find the girl on top of spencer, making out with him, as spencer was screaming and trying to get away from her. the laughtrack was playing as this was going on. ha ha what
The movie ‘The Shawshank Redemption” does a really good job in depicting prison rape as a bad thing and not something to laugh about (as it should be).
I know some one who’s brother went to prison. He struggled with learning difficulties growing up, didn’t stay in school, went on heroin. He got caught with drugs and was sent to prison for a year. On his first week there he was raped by four men it was so bad he had to be hospitalized and stitched up afterwards. His family tried to take a case against the neglect of the prison guards, they were laughed out of court. He could never get over it and a year after getting out of prison he committed suicide. It’s just terribly unfair that people who struggle with addiction and even problems with petty crimes, people who need help not punishment have to suffer through that. I do think the main solution to this is not quelling the rape jokes but seeking to change our justice system. Changing how we treat criminals and making prisons a place for potential rehabilitation rather than a hellish time out for bold boys.
I think this video needs to be shown in high schools. Show the young men and women that will soon become adults that rape and/or sexual assault is not okay in any context. Not for cheap laughs, not for punishment, not for revenge, NOTHING. Honestly I have no idea who the hell disliked this video. I think EVERYONE needs to see this video.
This disturbing phenomena also makes it difficult for young males to report sexual abuse at the hands of male predator due the perception of emasculation.
once i was hanging out with a male friend when he was groped by a girl in the lunch line. at first i though they were friends and maybe they had that kind of relationship, but as she did it more and more, i realized how uncomfortable he was. i mean, he was literally getting sexually harassed. i told him that what she was doing was wrong and perverted, that we should tell somebody. he just looked at me and said, “it was just a joke, i’m okay.” saddest thing.
I was sexually assaulted by 4 inebriated gay "friends"(pinned down to a bed while they started undressing me while I kicked and flailed) in highschool, the next day at school a straight friend who had been present while it happened and even participated in holding me down made fun of me and laughed at me calling me gay. It took me 6 years after that to find the confidence to come out of the closet and not hatemyself for who I was. I suffered with depression and was isolated for years after. and even now I still have trouble being physically intimate with people. and while I struggle with this and I know technically It should be considerd sexual assault I don't feel like I have the right to consider it that.
Also, something that wasn't covered in this otherwise comprehensive and very well made video is jokes about gay men going to prison and being raped. Just as is the case with jokes about straight men being raped or assaulted by women, there is a type of joke that implies that going to prison isn't really a punishment for gay men because they're going to be raped and assaulted by lots of men, and because they're gay, they're going to enjoy it. The implication is that gay men can't be victims because "they like it" is very similar to the idea that straight men do or should and will be mocked (often called gay) if they don't like being assaulted or raped by a woman.
"When media frames the sexual assault of men, even bad men, as 'getting what they deserve', it perpetuates a culture of rape acceptance." Say it one more time for those in the back of the room. Prison rape jokes normalize rape. Thank you for talking about this extremely difficult subject.
Yes! I cannot say how many times I’ve heard someone say something like “he deserves the rape he will get in prison” when talking about a criminal or accused person. It’s quite disturbing
Rape is not about sex, it's simply a method of torture. To wish torture upon anyone makes you a sadist. I do not tolerate nor will I contribute to sadism. We need more empathy in the world for victims of torture no matter what gender or race they happen to be.
These writers aren't pushing boundaries - this video is clear evidence of the fact that prison rape jokes are so old and over used it's ridiculous! Your videos should be mandatory watching for any aspiring screen writers.
Seconded, it's supposedly seen as "hilarious" for men to be depicted as "effeminate" just become they may like "girly" interests, such as cooking, shopping or musicals. It's entirely possible for straight men to like any of the above hobbies, just as it is for gay men to like "manly" pastimes such as sport. The character needs to be seen as a person first and foremost, and not defined solely by their sexuality or their gender.
I started this video thinking "so what, what's the big deal. " And I ended completely convinced that there is a serious problem, and people need to be more aware. Thanks a lot for putting out this kind of content.
As a gay man who has been the victim of sexual assault, this video means a lot to me. What makes this more impactful to me is realizing how I think I’ve almost nullified my acknowledgment of a lot of these jokes, but I don’t watch a lot of movies/shows anymore. I’ve never found Kevin Hart funny and I’ve found Will Ferrel getting less and less funny as time has gone by and maybe this is why.
I remember the first time it hit me that this was as big a deal as it is. I saw a clip of some Maury-style show (lots of yelling and drama) about this poor guy who locked himself in a bathroom, and then jumped out a 3rd floor window to escape his abusive girlfriend, and the audience laughed that he broke his arm. It was horrible, and the host called them out on it, that they wouldn't be laughing if this was a girl's story.
Seeing rape jokes made in some of my favourite movies by actors and characters I admired was quite difficult to watch, but also why this video is so important!
I totally agree. While it's tough to see scenes like this in our favorite movies, it's necessary in order to address the uncomfortable jokes associated with gender stereotypes and sexuality.
I really admire what Terry Crews is doing, because not only does he speak up for himself, but he also talks a lot about what is toxic masculinity in interviews and how to identify it and stop it. I really hope that more people can look up to him to know that what is happening isnt ok and that you shouldnt blame yourself for a horrific thing someone else did to you Thank you for making this video, this is definetly a "trope" that must stop
Ashamed to say I've seen and laughed at many of the scenes you showed, but this really gave me a new perspective with which to see them and why they are damaging.
The Family Guy scene (with the pie) made me cry the first time I saw it. His screams and cries sound far too realistic. I'd been raped at gunpoint about two weeks before it came out, just wanted to watch some casual evening television, and ended up sobbing and being close to vomiting over my bathroom toilet. i don't know why people think that this shit is funny.
"Gay men are not a threat to straight people. Rapists are." Boom. There it is. Also, thank you for addressing the racist ass "black brute" stereotype as well.
There's a scene in Brooklyn 99 where the main character go to jail and talk about how awful it is for trans people in jail and its not played for a joke. That's why I respect that show it gets real sometimes
I'm gay and the majority of my friends are straight men. I'm apparently an oddity for this, but I can't tell you how many times I have to correct stupid attempts at jokes, but not all of them are so innocent. Especially when i went to jail for something I didn't do (my case was thrown out later). I actually had some of the closest people to me make mistakes when 'just trying to cheer me up.' All kinds of jokes were made suggesting that I'd at least have a good time in jail or I must've enjoyed the endless sausage party. Even my friends who are also male and gay made similar jokes and faux pas and still do. One that grates on my nerves is the assumption, especially by other gay men, that because myself and my three roommates are all gay - we must all have sex and three or foursomes all the time. I'm gay. That doesn't mean I'm intensely horny or promiscuous and it certainly doesn't mean I enjoy being sexually assaulted. In fact? I was. I did not enjoy it. Thank you for making this video.
This was an endurance test, and I can only imagine how much WORSE it was on your end marathonning, editing and staring at this crap for who knows how many days on end. God bless you for putting this out, man.
I find PCD uploads so incredibly good the time flies and I'm left wanting more. I have A.D.D. so I can lose interest in something in the blink of an eye, namely if it only asks me to listen and absorb--PCD asks me to actively think, and offers plenty of reasons to, so it's positively exhilarating to me.
As a sexual assault victim I remember, very clearly, the emotional reaction I had when I first saw the movie 40 Days and 40 Nights (which I am sure will be discussed in the next episode). The protagonist's ex girlfriend flat out rapes him. His love interest then blames him for it and he has to apologize to her to win her back. I feel like the word "triggered" tends to be overused as of late, but that is exactly how I felt when watching the end of that movie - not only from the depiction of the rape but also the blatant victim-blaming and which resulted in the charachter's internalized guilt. I was completely disgusted and shocked by how the writers of this cute-sy romantic comedy had managed to get a rape into the script and pacify it as something else. I looked through review after review and almost no one mentioned this rape. After that, I started noticing sexual assault as "jokes" all over movies and tv. When I bring it up, people (mostly men) tell me that I am being too sensitive or give me justifications as to why it is ok or just a joke or why it DOESNT COUNT when it happens to men! It is absolutely horrifying and says so much about the culture in which we live. I am so glad that I came across this video and tha the comment section is overwhelmingly filled with people who understand that this is NOT ok. I subbed here and will be awaiting the next installment.
I was sexually assaulted at school when I was 13. it was in front of about 12 people and everybody laughed at me and nobody took me seriously. after it happened i punched the guy who did it in the face, as anybody probably would, and the people around me, many of which were supposed to be my friends, all treated me like I was the bad guy for punching him in the face. for context I'm bisexual but i didn't yet realise that at the time. It took me 6 and a half years to realise that it even was sexual assault and not just people being mean to me. It haunts me to know that there was a time in my life when the people around me thought it was okay to treat me that way, and I'm so grateful to now be surrounding myself with lots of great friends who I love and care about me. I'm glad to see people taking this issue seriously now.
Always, before I watch one of your essays, I think 'okay it can't be that bad' but then I always shocked by how acceptable certain tropes and toxic behavious is in mainstream media. Thank you for your analysis!!
This was an uncomfortable but very important watch for me. I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve laughed at some of these jokes in past. I’m definitely going to pay attention and call out these terrible jokes in the future. I wish I had enough money to contribute to your patreon. You’re doing important work.
when you do the episode on women sexually assaulting men being played down and for laughs etc. please include the scene from GLEE where one of the main characters comes out about being assaulted by his female babysitter and the rest of the guys (IN FRONT OF THE TEACHER) are like "i would have dreamed for that to happen to me" and "you're so lucky" and "thats not sexual assault" etc. I remember watching that scene and thinking 'oh my god thats awful' and thinking that they'd talk about how wrong what the boys said and how they acted to the victim was later in the episode but there was NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Left such a bad taste in my mouth ugh.
YES. your point about the subtle ways that films portray and demonize gay men is so nuanced and well supported. "Gay people are not a threat. Rapists are." !!!!! So. Well. Said.
"emasculation jokes are supposed to be funny because in a patriarchal culture like ours, we're meant to think that there is no greater humiliation for man than to be treated like a woman." damn.
The power of these videos is when it makes you pay attention to a damaging trope that is so integrated into media that you never even noticed it before.
This video made me realize how much prison rape jokes lack substance and are just distasteful. Dark humor still interests and entertains me, but it can't really be dark humor if its the same, unoriginal joke constantly popping up in shows/movies
Terry Crews is the sweetest man ever. I still can't believe the normalization of rape and the "oh so funny"/s gay jokes . Truly a terrible thing. It's also more terrifying how much of this (among other sexual jokes) get into children's media.
also, how many *children* (middle-schoolers in my case) think these jokes are funny. There are about five boys in my class who make the classic 'lol gay is weird xd' jokes (saying "your mom is gay", male rape jokes, calling things gay because they don't like it, etc.) Sometimes I wish there was a gsa club at my school
Terry Crews, such an amazing man. I feel only sympathy for him. Such amazing figurine, both in acting roles and advertising. Rape is, and never will be funny. Men are not meant to be tough even FOR such situations as being a victim for rape.
Not only this but also deaths. There are plenty of movies where men are always killed. It’s usually for laughs. There was a movie where a girl kills 80 men. Imagine if that were a man killing 80 women....
When Terry Cruz says that had he reported the assault he would have been laughed off out of the police station, it's so heart-breaking. And I have no idea who he is or what he has done, but it breaks my heart what horrendous social behaviour is let pass free sometimes.
One film trope that’s always disturbed me is the female teacher/student trope: it’s usually presented as desirable and good, when it’s literally statutory rape!! Some good examples are the first season of Riverdale, and that adam sandler movie “That’s my boy”
When I was a kid I used to get so freaked out by male rape jokes while everyone around me is laughing. I just couldn't stop thinking about how scary it would be to happen to me
I’d like to think Terry Crewes speaking out will inspire more men and women to speak out as sexual assault victims. Sexual assault among men is so common in mass media that it can trivialize the real pain and suffering for victims. It’s easy to joke about it, but to live through it is terrible. I’m glad this video shined a light on an uncomfortable conversation.
One thing I've often noticed in police dramas is that the strong, female cop is usually shown being raped or near raped at least once. It's treated seriously and we get to see her journey through it, which some people have said has helped them. I often wondered why we can't see it happen to the strong, male cop and then see his realistic journey through it. It's a horrific thing to happen and shouldn't happen to anyone, but there's still so many people out there who decide that rape can only happen to women and that it's just a joke with guys. It's awful - demeaning to both men and women. Thanks for bringing this topic to light. I hope more people do >.
Also in Brooklyn 99, Terry Crews was consistently objectified by Gina. However, after Terry Crews revealed his story, they decided to at least tone them down
the most effective part of pop culture detective is just seeing 30 straight minutes of the same awful trope playing over and over and over, you cant help but think 'holy shit this is soooo engrained'
Thank you for touching on how culture regarding prisons and criminals in general is often toxic. Too many people feel that a criminal should forfeit all their human dignity. It's dehumanizing someone to a "bad criminal" non-person, and sickening how it is normalized in the media.
I'll be honest, I went into this expecting to hate it. I really expected to just spend my whole viewing just wanting you to lighten up, but this genuinely changed my views on the issue. Great video all around, and thank you.
I'm glad this video exists, partly because of all the derailing of conversations about rape (usually a news story of a woman) with "but what about Male rape? No feminist ever talks about male victims!" We do. And it gets laughed away as not real.
I agree with you that this needs to be talked about, but I just wanted to point out that this video showed a point of view heavily influenced by feminist theory. For example, the fact that the "joke" comes from the victim being "emasculated" by being the "non-masculine" part of the sexual act. Or, in other words, the joke being that a man is not behaving manly, that a man is being submissive, that a man is acting as a woman. The way in which patriarchy affects men is one of feminist theory's most discussed topics. It's not laughed at (at least by thinking people). It's the other side of the coin.
From what I understand, feminism is about equality of the sexes from a female perspective. They aren't being unempethetic. It's just not what they're looking for. It's not on the radar, so to speak.
Thank you. Every time someone (usually someone who never talks about sexual assault in any other context) tries to derail with that, my mind goes back to Terry Crews and how he himself said that the ones who actively supported him the whole time were women, while men turned him into a joke. I really do wish we could talk about both. Terry retweeted something along the lines of "the reason men brush off male rape is bc the idea of a big "manly man" like Terry Crews being vulnerable and victimized secretly terrifies them" and ever since I've looked at the backlash much differently.
I'm sorry, but I think you have the wrong idea. Feminism does not hate men, but is against the toxic masculinity behaviour, ie the rape culture. This video is an example of the rape culture focused on man. Please, don't antagonise what feminism is really looking for. I will politely ask you to think twice if that "hate" for feminism doesn't come from the exactly same source. Regards.
We often talk about the "big black man" in relationship to white women (the object of white heterosexual male desire) but you RARELY hear any criticism about the way black men are portrayed in relation to white men. Thank you for sharing and highlighting the deeply rooted racist (and homophobic) subtexts in our society and film industry. 👏🏾👏🏿👏🏽
7 years ago, I watched Perks of Being a Wallflower. Huge Spoiler Warning. I scoffed when the movie suggested the teenage boy was traumatized by getting raped his older woman relative. I've come around to the truth, and videos like this one helped. If I can change, then tons of other people can too.
As someone who has been a victim now turned survivor of sexual assault, I must thank you for this video. Rape of any sort is not a joke. Survivors, no matter who you are, you all are valid. If you're reading this, your story and feelings are valid and you have a right to share your stories with dignity and be treated with respect.
This is uh.... very hard for me to watch. So I'll be coming back once I calm down and just watch it in increments. But so far it is very disturbing. If you are a victim of sexual assault, like me, there's no shame in watching it in increments like I'm planning to or even stopping if it's too much for you.
All my love to you, I hope you are healing. I didn't know for more than 10 years that I had PTSD. You deserved so much better, and you deserve the world still
When I saw people mocking Terry for his declarations I was genuinely confused. I thought "if anything he should be praised for showing assault is not about strength but power, even he can show his weakness while being so buffed". Now I see why, I hate shitty comedy movies so I guess that's why I've never noticed how much weak men are made fun of. This compilation made me cringe at every joke.
Thank you. As someone who was assaulted for years when I was a child and carrying that shame and pain for years destroyed any chance I may have had for a normal life.
As a male rape survivor, I can't watch this video. These kind of jokes always make me sick to my stomach, and just fuck me up for days. While I'd love to watch this, I also don't want to be depressed for the next few days constantly thinking about what happened. I will say I appreciate you making this, and from all the comments I've read it's very well done.
Thank you for addressing this extremely disturbing double standard. Jokes about rape are never funny, especially when it's done in such a throwaway, flippant way. It's likely done because men are seen to not be as vulnerable as women are, and the "humour" seems to come from them being emasculated for not being traditionally masculine enough. The "Wedding Crashers" example always disturbed me. Chances are, if the scenario where involved Vince Vaughn tying up and forcing himself on Isla Fisher against her will, then he would undoubtedly be considered the villain of the piece. However, as the genders are reversed, and it's a romantic comedy, he eventually gives in to her "charms", and even marries her towards the end.
Watching American cinema and shows, you could kinda get the impression that prison rape is "just part of the sentence" and "just another way to punish criminals" and not a crime in itself
So many times in this video I found myself laughing, I’m really appreciative that you made my ask myself why I found this repeated trope funny. It can be startling and really hard to notice deeply deeply engrained societal norms that really should not be norms and I’m glad you’re helping us to become more aware of those.
I can't wait for the one on female perpetrators! I find it upsetting when those situations are played off as desirable, which is almost every time. I struggle to come up with even a single scene where the victim is portrayed as even uncomfortable.
The movie Filth features a scene of a man being raped by a woman and it's horrifying. It's a good movie but also deeply disturbing. Movies like The Killing of a Sacred Deer, The Lobster and shows like Spartacus also portray men suffering sexual abuse from women or being put into situations where their lives are on the line if they don't have sex with women. Still, those are mostly art films and I think Jonathan is more interested in pop culture, where it's very rare to find serious stories of men being abused.
Or - perhaps even worse - they are portrayed as uncomfortable for a sum total of the first five seconds but it almost instantly dissolves into pleasure. They acknowledge the situation for what it is, acknowledge what their own joke is, and immediately discard it.
There is one in Farscape; to avoid spoilers, I won't say who raped who, but a prominent male character did get drugged by a woman and forced to have sex with her. Even as he lost control of his body, his face during the early stages and his subsequent reaction made it clear that he was not just uncomfortable - he was TRAUMATIZED. And it wasn't swiftly forgotten by the writers, either; the assault was angrily referenced in an encounter between the victim and his assailant many episodes later.
I have not finished the video yet but I think Shawshank Redemption gave a respectful but brutal insight into prison rape culture. I did not realise how pervacive these jokes are; it has certainly left a bad taste in the mouth. I am actually appauled by some of the big stars shown in this video making light of such a topic, it's horrible.
It was very hard for me as a female to deal with one day suddenly saying I was sexually assaulted, I can't even imagine how it is for a male. We should join hands and start solving this problem, speak openly about it, shut the mouths that say it was our fault for being weak, female or male.
As a feminist who is especially vocal about the rights of LGBTQ+ people and sexual assault survivors, I'm shocked to realize just HOW normal these jokes seemed to me. It never crossed my mind joking about the sexual domination of men was what it was: Joking about rape. Thank you for taking the time to make this video, I'm sure it wasn't easy. I feel incredibly foolish, but I'm glad my eyes were opened to this problem I considered so normal.
I’m a woman and this upset me more than the topics you covered about women. At least in our case it seems like the society is starting to listen a little. Kudos to those men who stood up and told their stories despite the inevitable, disturbing ridicule.
"If Hollywood writers and comedians really want to break taboos and push boundaries, they could try treating survivors of sexual assault with a measure of dignity and empathy, because that would be a guaranteed way to shock their audience". Brilliant. It's a sad reflection of our culture when something like this needs to be said. Thanks for posting this.
I vividly remember watching a movie where a woman rapes a guy and he's literally tied up and she does all sorts of things to him and i remember being so disturbed by that scene only to later see that the guy falls in love with her and i understood something was very wrong but i didn't know what it was, as a little girl i felt so scared by it but i don't think other people were, i even remember it being sort of funny to them
Re: the prison conversation, I worked in prison and I absolutely LOATHE it. Prison IS the punishment. Sexual assault in prison should NEVER ever ever be encouraged.
Well that was uncomfortable. I used to think this joke was acceptable when I was younger, but then I realised, well, all of the above. I'm glad I'm not the only one who was weirded out by Deadpool's rape joke in the first movie. No one else commented on it.
I find the Deadpool thing to be a little more acceptable, because Deadpool is not a good guy. He is threatening to kill that guy, not just rape him. Why is it so much worse that he threatened to rape him?
I'm sure you may not read this but I wanted to thank you for making this video. It helped me come to terms with my own sexual assault and has inspired me to speak out against it.
SVU making a rape joke, almost as if that show doesn't actually care about what it could do to highlight these issues but is actually a shameless way to profit off of sexual assault.
Love this. A man using his platform to speak of men’s issues instead of yelling at women to include them too. This is what equality is.
When men actually try to speak out about their own assaults, it gets the same reaction as these films. Terry Crews got so many people laughing at him and calling him weak. I'm very proud of him for bringing so much more attention to this.
Maturity is realizing that a lot of things you thought were just funny are just heart breaking from a different perspective
A family friend of mine went to prison. His first night,he sat and listened to screams of men being raped. He cried the entire night, decided to become a pastor when he got out. He got out, became a pastor and tells about that experience in his services. He almost cries every time.
Looks like that pastor is doing God's work!
We need more people to take this seriously and he's doing his part to help
The fact that these jokes manage to get into children's media is the worst bit for me.
The Terry Crews part almost made me tear up. The numerous jokes about sexual assault are gross enough but to dismiss and _laugh at_ someone who has actually been sexually assaulted is a whole new level of low
i remember i was watching icarly once. spencer was on a date with a girl, and when carly got home she heard screaming from the room they were in. carly ran in to find the girl on top of spencer, making out with him, as spencer was screaming and trying to get away from her. the laughtrack was playing as this was going on.
ha ha
what
The movie ‘The Shawshank Redemption” does a really good job in depicting prison rape as a bad thing and not something to laugh about (as it should be).
I know some one who’s brother went to prison. He struggled with learning difficulties growing up, didn’t stay in school, went on heroin. He got caught with drugs and was sent to prison for a year. On his first week there he was raped by four men it was so bad he had to be hospitalized and stitched up afterwards. His family tried to take a case against the neglect of the prison guards, they were laughed out of court. He could never get over it and a year after getting out of prison he committed suicide.
It’s just terribly unfair that people who struggle with addiction and even problems with petty crimes, people who need help not punishment have to suffer through that.
I do think the main solution to this is not quelling the rape jokes but seeking to change our justice system. Changing how we treat criminals and making prisons a place for potential rehabilitation rather than a hellish time out for bold boys.
I think this video needs to be shown in high schools. Show the young men and women that will soon become adults that rape and/or sexual assault is not okay in any context. Not for cheap laughs, not for punishment, not for revenge, NOTHING. Honestly I have no idea who the hell disliked this video. I think EVERYONE needs to see this video.
anyone can be a victim. it doesn’t mean you’re weak. this video is so important.
This disturbing phenomena also makes it difficult for young males to report sexual abuse at the hands of male predator due the perception of emasculation.
Terry Crews is the man. It feels silly to be proud of someone you don't know but here I am proud of him anyway.
Society: “Rape is a horrible crime and should never be joked about! Except for prison rape, that is hilarious!”
Corey Feldman has been very vocal about the sexual abuse against all young child actors going on in Hollywood and is continually dismissed.
People wonder why sexually assaulted men aren't taken seriously.
Brett Kavanaugah... when is it taken seriously in general?
I don't think the media causes the lack of empathy I think it just reflects the truth that no one cares about male victims
So much respect to Terry Cruise. That man is an inspiration and a role mole -- it honestly broke my heart when heard that people were mocking him.
Terry Cruise is a treasure.
Right? No one deserves that shit when they're standing up for themselves, and advocating for such a prominent issue. He's brave.
+
He's a national treasure and I'm SO glad he spoke out, especially since he is such a famous and physically strong man. I admire him even more now.
What that man went through was insane.
once i was hanging out with a male friend when he was groped by a girl in the lunch line. at first i though they were friends and maybe they had that kind of relationship, but as she did it more and more, i realized how uncomfortable he was. i mean, he was literally getting sexually harassed. i told him that what she was doing was wrong and perverted, that we should tell somebody. he just looked at me and said, “it was just a joke, i’m okay.” saddest thing.
I was sexually assaulted by 4 inebriated gay "friends"(pinned down to a bed while they started undressing me while I kicked and flailed) in highschool, the next day at school a straight friend who had been present while it happened and even participated in holding me down made fun of me and laughed at me calling me gay. It took me 6 years after that to find the confidence to come out of the closet and not hatemyself for who I was. I suffered with depression and was isolated for years after. and even now I still have trouble being physically intimate with people. and while I struggle with this and I know technically It should be considerd sexual assault I don't feel like I have the right to consider it that.
Also, something that wasn't covered in this otherwise comprehensive and very well made video is jokes about gay men going to prison and being raped. Just as is the case with jokes about straight men being raped or assaulted by women, there is a type of joke that implies that going to prison isn't really a punishment for gay men because they're going to be raped and assaulted by lots of men, and because they're gay, they're going to enjoy it. The implication is that gay men can't be victims because "they like it" is very similar to the idea that straight men do or should and will be mocked (often called gay) if they don't like being assaulted or raped by a woman.
This video blew my mind! Especially the segment where you mentioned “...if a bad guy deserved it, thats acceptance...”
Media: We must fight against homophobia and stereotypes
Also media:
"When media frames the sexual assault of men, even bad men, as 'getting what they deserve', it perpetuates a culture of rape acceptance."
Say it one more time for those in the back of the room. Prison rape jokes normalize rape. Thank you for talking about this extremely difficult subject.
Yes! I cannot say how many times I’ve heard someone say something like “he deserves the rape he will get in prison” when talking about a criminal or accused person. It’s quite disturbing
And no one, not even criminals deserve to be raped or sexually assaulted.
So we do have a rape culture after all...
Rape is not about sex, it's simply a method of torture. To wish torture upon anyone makes you a sadist. I do not tolerate nor will I contribute to sadism. We need more empathy in the world for victims of torture no matter what gender or race they happen to be.
I think it´s horrible how in our society rape in prison is taken for granted and even considered part of the punishment. Thank you for this video.
These writers aren't pushing boundaries - this video is clear evidence of the fact that prison rape jokes are so old and over used it's ridiculous! Your videos should be mandatory watching for any aspiring screen writers.
“in our patriarchal society, there is no greater humiliation for a man than to be treated as a woman” ouch!
That one hit hard
It's so true.
Yep that one hurt, but it’s true.
Seconded, it's supposedly seen as "hilarious" for men to be depicted as "effeminate" just become they may like "girly" interests, such as cooking, shopping or musicals. It's entirely possible for straight men to like any of the above hobbies, just as it is for gay men to like "manly" pastimes such as sport. The character needs to be seen as a person first and foremost, and not defined solely by their sexuality or their gender.
That one really hits hard. 😩
I started this video thinking "so what, what's the big deal. " And I ended completely convinced that there is a serious problem, and people need to be more aware. Thanks a lot for putting out this kind of content.
As a gay man who has been the victim of sexual assault, this video means a lot to me. What makes this more impactful to me is realizing how I think I’ve almost nullified my acknowledgment of a lot of these jokes, but I don’t watch a lot of movies/shows anymore. I’ve never found Kevin Hart funny and I’ve found Will Ferrel getting less and less funny as time has gone by and maybe this is why.
I remember the first time it hit me that this was as big a deal as it is. I saw a clip of some Maury-style show (lots of yelling and drama) about this poor guy who locked himself in a bathroom, and then jumped out a 3rd floor window to escape his abusive girlfriend, and the audience laughed that he broke his arm. It was horrible, and the host called them out on it, that they wouldn't be laughing if this was a girl's story.
Seeing rape jokes made in some of my favourite movies by actors and characters I admired was quite difficult to watch, but also why this video is so important!
I totally agree. While it's tough to see scenes like this in our favorite movies, it's necessary in order to address the uncomfortable jokes associated with gender stereotypes and sexuality.
I really admire what Terry Crews is doing, because not only does he speak up for himself, but he also talks a lot about what is toxic masculinity in interviews and how to identify it and stop it. I really hope that more people can look up to him to know that what is happening isnt ok and that you shouldnt blame yourself for a horrific thing someone else did to you
Thank you for making this video, this is definetly a "trope" that must stop
Ashamed to say I've seen and laughed at many of the scenes you showed, but this really gave me a new perspective with which to see them and why they are damaging.
The Family Guy scene (with the pie) made me cry the first time I saw it. His screams and cries sound far too realistic. I'd been raped at gunpoint about two weeks before it came out, just wanted to watch some casual evening television, and ended up sobbing and being close to vomiting over my bathroom toilet.
i don't know why people think that this shit is funny.
"Gay men are not a threat to straight people. Rapists are."
Boom. There it is. Also, thank you for addressing the racist ass "black brute" stereotype as well.
There's a scene in Brooklyn 99 where the main character go to jail and talk about how awful it is for trans people in jail and its not played for a joke. That's why I respect that show it gets real sometimes
This was so uncomfortable to watch, but thank you for raising awareness of such a horrible issue. You are providing a sorely needed public service.
Not a Justin Beiber fan but making a rape joke about a real person is absolutely repugnant
I'm gay and the majority of my friends are straight men. I'm apparently an oddity for this, but I can't tell you how many times I have to correct stupid attempts at jokes, but not all of them are so innocent. Especially when i went to jail for something I didn't do (my case was thrown out later). I actually had some of the closest people to me make mistakes when 'just trying to cheer me up.' All kinds of jokes were made suggesting that I'd at least have a good time in jail or I must've enjoyed the endless sausage party.
Even my friends who are also male and gay made similar jokes and faux pas and still do. One that grates on my nerves is the assumption, especially by other gay men, that because myself and my three roommates are all gay - we must all have sex and three or foursomes all the time.
I'm gay. That doesn't mean I'm intensely horny or promiscuous and it certainly doesn't mean I enjoy being sexually assaulted.
In fact? I was. I did not enjoy it.
Thank you for making this video.
The fact that SA jokes are in cartoons made for CHILDREN is disgusting.
This was an endurance test, and I can only imagine how much WORSE it was on your end marathonning, editing and staring at this crap for who knows how many days on end. God bless you for putting this out, man.
Co-sign.
Co-sign. Almost bailed out 3 times.
Much respect
Hear! Hear!
I find PCD uploads so incredibly good the time flies and I'm left wanting more. I have A.D.D. so I can lose interest in something in the blink of an eye, namely if it only asks me to listen and absorb--PCD asks me to actively think, and offers plenty of reasons to, so it's positively exhilarating to me.
As a male victim i feel desgusted with pop culture and how it treats this
Shout out to Terry Crews for being an amazing role model and an example of how you can be masculine without being toxic
As a sexual assault victim I remember, very clearly, the emotional reaction I had when I first saw the movie 40 Days and 40 Nights (which I am sure will be discussed in the next episode). The protagonist's ex girlfriend flat out rapes him. His love interest then blames him for it and he has to apologize to her to win her back.
I feel like the word "triggered" tends to be overused as of late, but that is exactly how I felt when watching the end of that movie - not only from the depiction of the rape but also the blatant victim-blaming and which resulted in the charachter's internalized guilt.
I was completely disgusted and shocked by how the writers of this cute-sy romantic comedy had managed to get a rape into the script and pacify it as something else. I looked through review after review and almost no one mentioned this rape.
After that, I started noticing sexual assault as "jokes" all over movies and tv. When I bring it up, people (mostly men) tell me that I am being too sensitive or give me justifications as to why it is ok or just a joke or why it DOESNT COUNT when it happens to men! It is absolutely horrifying and says so much about the culture in which we live. I am so glad that I came across this video and tha the comment section is overwhelmingly filled with people who understand that this is NOT ok.
I subbed here and will be awaiting the next installment.
I was sexually assaulted at school when I was 13. it was in front of about 12 people and everybody laughed at me and nobody took me seriously. after it happened i punched the guy who did it in the face, as anybody probably would, and the people around me, many of which were supposed to be my friends, all treated me like I was the bad guy for punching him in the face. for context I'm bisexual but i didn't yet realise that at the time. It took me 6 and a half years to realise that it even was sexual assault and not just people being mean to me. It haunts me to know that there was a time in my life when the people around me thought it was okay to treat me that way, and I'm so grateful to now be surrounding myself with lots of great friends who I love and care about me. I'm glad to see people taking this issue seriously now.
Always, before I watch one of your essays, I think 'okay it can't be that bad' but then I always shocked by how acceptable certain tropes and toxic behavious is in mainstream media. Thank you for your analysis!!
I always think "Why does he need to explain why this obviously bad thing is bad?"
Honestly the Deadpool 2 quip is even darker since the character it involves is both a kid and a literal survivor of sexual and physical abuse.
This was an uncomfortable but very important watch for me. I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve laughed at some of these jokes in past. I’m definitely going to pay attention and call out these terrible jokes in the future. I wish I had enough money to contribute to your patreon. You’re doing important work.
I hate that rape is deemed ok in prison because it's considered "justice"
Honesty makes me sick
when you do the episode on women sexually assaulting men being played down and for laughs etc. please include the scene from GLEE where one of the main characters comes out about being assaulted by his female babysitter and the rest of the guys (IN FRONT OF THE TEACHER) are like "i would have dreamed for that to happen to me" and "you're so lucky" and "thats not sexual assault" etc. I remember watching that scene and thinking 'oh my god thats awful' and thinking that they'd talk about how wrong what the boys said and how they acted to the victim was later in the episode but there was NOTHING, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Left such a bad taste in my mouth ugh.
YES. your point about the subtle ways that films portray and demonize gay men is so nuanced and well supported. "Gay people are not a threat. Rapists are." !!!!! So. Well. Said.
I had to read this twice to realize that this wasn't sarcasm. What has the internet done to me.
"emasculation jokes are supposed to be funny because in a patriarchal culture like ours, we're meant to think that there is no greater humiliation for man than to be treated like a woman." damn.
The power of these videos is when it makes you pay attention to a damaging trope that is so integrated into media that you never even noticed it before.
This video made me realize how much prison rape jokes lack substance and are just distasteful. Dark humor still interests and entertains me, but it can't really be dark humor if its the same, unoriginal joke constantly popping up in shows/movies
Terry Crews is the sweetest man ever. I still can't believe the normalization of rape and the "oh so funny"/s gay jokes . Truly a terrible thing. It's also more terrifying how much of this (among other sexual jokes) get into children's media.
I'm sure Terry crews played the part of a sexual abuser just out from prison, I think the movie is called Friday after next.
also, how many *children* (middle-schoolers in my case) think these jokes are funny. There are about five boys in my class who make the classic 'lol gay is weird xd' jokes (saying "your mom is gay", male rape jokes, calling things gay because they don't like it, etc.) Sometimes I wish there was a gsa club at my school
Terry Crews, such an amazing man. I feel only sympathy for him. Such amazing figurine, both in acting roles and advertising.
Rape is, and never will be funny. Men are not meant to be tough even FOR such situations as being a victim for rape.
Not only this but also deaths. There are plenty of movies where men are always killed. It’s usually for laughs. There was a movie where a girl kills 80 men. Imagine if that were a man killing 80 women....
When Terry Cruz says that had he reported the assault he would have been laughed off out of the police station, it's so heart-breaking. And I have no idea who he is or what he has done, but it breaks my heart what horrendous social behaviour is let pass free sometimes.
One film trope that’s always disturbed me is the female teacher/student trope: it’s usually presented as desirable and good, when it’s literally statutory rape!! Some good examples are the first season of Riverdale, and that adam sandler movie “That’s my boy”
When I was a kid I used to get so freaked out by male rape jokes while everyone around me is laughing. I just couldn't stop thinking about how scary it would be to happen to me
as a woman who has been sexually assaulted when men's assault gets downplayed it absolutely disgusts me
It’s incredibly uncomfortable watching emotion and abuse being ridiculed
I’d like to think Terry Crewes speaking out will inspire more men and women to speak out as sexual assault victims. Sexual assault among men is so common in mass media that it can trivialize the real pain and suffering for victims. It’s easy to joke about it, but to live through it is terrible. I’m glad this video shined a light on an uncomfortable conversation.
Blows my mind that these jokes even filter down to children's movies. Thanks for yet another extremely important video!
One thing I've often noticed in police dramas is that the strong, female cop is usually shown being raped or near raped at least once. It's treated seriously and we get to see her journey through it, which some people have said has helped them. I often wondered why we can't see it happen to the strong, male cop and then see his realistic journey through it. It's a horrific thing to happen and shouldn't happen to anyone, but there's still so many people out there who decide that rape can only happen to women and that it's just a joke with guys. It's awful - demeaning to both men and women. Thanks for bringing this topic to light. I hope more people do >.
How is Terry Crews such a wonderful being??? I adore him so much
Also in Brooklyn 99, Terry Crews was consistently objectified by Gina. However, after Terry Crews revealed his story, they decided to at least tone them down
the most effective part of pop culture detective is just seeing 30 straight minutes of the same awful trope playing over and over and over, you cant help but think 'holy shit this is soooo engrained'
Thank you for touching on how culture regarding prisons and criminals in general is often toxic. Too many people feel that a criminal should forfeit all their human dignity. It's dehumanizing someone to a "bad criminal" non-person, and sickening how it is normalized in the media.
Rape in prison is not and should not be part of the punishment for crimes.
"Revenge =/= Justice" is so important
I'll be honest, I went into this expecting to hate it. I really expected to just spend my whole viewing just wanting you to lighten up, but this genuinely changed my views on the issue. Great video all around, and thank you.
I'm glad this video exists, partly because of all the derailing of conversations about rape (usually a news story of a woman) with "but what about Male rape? No feminist ever talks about male victims!"
We do. And it gets laughed away as not real.
I agree with you that this needs to be talked about, but I just wanted to point out that this video showed a point of view heavily influenced by feminist theory. For example, the fact that the "joke" comes from the victim being "emasculated" by being the "non-masculine" part of the sexual act. Or, in other words, the joke being that a man is not behaving manly, that a man is being submissive, that a man is acting as a woman. The way in which patriarchy affects men is one of feminist theory's most discussed topics. It's not laughed at (at least by thinking people). It's the other side of the coin.
From what I understand, feminism is about equality of the sexes from a female perspective. They aren't being unempethetic. It's just not what they're looking for. It's not on the radar, so to speak.
Thank you. Every time someone (usually someone who never talks about sexual assault in any other context) tries to derail with that, my mind goes back to Terry Crews and how he himself said that the ones who actively supported him the whole time were women, while men turned him into a joke. I really do wish we could talk about both. Terry retweeted something along the lines of "the reason men brush off male rape is bc the idea of a big "manly man" like Terry Crews being vulnerable and victimized secretly terrifies them" and ever since I've looked at the backlash much differently.
I'm sorry, but I think you have the wrong idea. Feminism does not hate men, but is against the toxic masculinity behaviour, ie the rape culture. This video is an example of the rape culture focused on man. Please, don't antagonise what feminism is really looking for. I will politely ask you to think twice if that "hate" for feminism doesn't come from the exactly same source. Regards.
Shawshank Redemption did prison rape right. Saw it destroy a man, and it wasn't a punchline. It was horrifying and hard to watch,
We often talk about the "big black man" in relationship to white women (the object of white heterosexual male desire) but you RARELY hear any criticism about the way black men are portrayed in relation to white men. Thank you for sharing and highlighting the deeply rooted racist (and homophobic) subtexts in our society and film industry. 👏🏾👏🏿👏🏽
7 years ago, I watched Perks of Being a Wallflower. Huge Spoiler Warning.
I scoffed when the movie suggested the teenage boy was traumatized by getting raped his older woman relative. I've come around to the truth, and videos like this one helped. If I can change, then tons of other people can too.
As someone who has been a victim now turned survivor of sexual assault, I must thank you for this video. Rape of any sort is not a joke. Survivors, no matter who you are, you all are valid. If you're reading this, your story and feelings are valid and you have a right to share your stories with dignity and be treated with respect.
This is uh.... very hard for me to watch. So I'll be coming back once I calm down and just watch it in increments. But so far it is very disturbing. If you are a victim of sexual assault, like me, there's no shame in watching it in increments like I'm planning to or even stopping if it's too much for you.
All my love to you, I hope you are healing. I didn't know for more than 10 years that I had PTSD. You deserved so much better, and you deserve the world still
When I saw people mocking Terry for his declarations I was genuinely confused. I thought "if anything he should be praised for showing assault is not about strength but power, even he can show his weakness while being so buffed".
Now I see why, I hate shitty comedy movies so I guess that's why I've never noticed how much weak men are made fun of. This compilation made me cringe at every joke.
How about the idea of a gay man going to prison and people laughing the danger off as "oh, he'll enjoy it". Pisses me off when I see that.
zau64 Wow yeah that pisses me off too.
Thank you. As someone who was assaulted for years when I was a child and carrying that shame and pain for years destroyed any chance I may have had for a normal life.
As a male rape survivor, I can't watch this video. These kind of jokes always make me sick to my stomach, and just fuck me up for days. While I'd love to watch this, I also don't want to be depressed for the next few days constantly thinking about what happened.
I will say I appreciate you making this, and from all the comments I've read it's very well done.
Thank you for addressing this extremely disturbing double standard. Jokes about rape are never funny, especially when it's done in such a throwaway, flippant way. It's likely done because men are seen to not be as vulnerable as women are, and the "humour" seems to come from them being emasculated for not being traditionally masculine enough. The "Wedding Crashers" example always disturbed me. Chances are, if the scenario where involved Vince Vaughn tying up and forcing himself on Isla Fisher against her will, then he would undoubtedly be considered the villain of the piece. However, as the genders are reversed, and it's a romantic comedy, he eventually gives in to her "charms", and even marries her towards the end.
Watching American cinema and shows, you could kinda get the impression that prison rape is "just part of the sentence" and "just another way to punish criminals" and not a crime in itself
So many times in this video I found myself laughing, I’m really appreciative that you made my ask myself why I found this repeated trope funny. It can be startling and really hard to notice deeply deeply engrained societal norms that really should not be norms and I’m glad you’re helping us to become more aware of those.
No matter what gender anyone could be a victim to sexual assault,this video is very important.
Male domestic violence and sexual assault is NOT funny. Period.
I can't wait for the one on female perpetrators! I find it upsetting when those situations are played off as desirable, which is almost every time. I struggle to come up with even a single scene where the victim is portrayed as even uncomfortable.
The movie Filth features a scene of a man being raped by a woman and it's horrifying. It's a good movie but also deeply disturbing.
Movies like The Killing of a Sacred Deer, The Lobster and shows like Spartacus also portray men suffering sexual abuse from women or being put into situations where their lives are on the line if they don't have sex with women.
Still, those are mostly art films and I think Jonathan is more interested in pop culture, where it's very rare to find serious stories of men being abused.
Me too. Why is it that we laugh when it's a woman assaulting? Because it's fun to see women in power?
Or - perhaps even worse - they are portrayed as uncomfortable for a sum total of the first five seconds but it almost instantly dissolves into pleasure. They acknowledge the situation for what it is, acknowledge what their own joke is, and immediately discard it.
There is one in Farscape; to avoid spoilers, I won't say who raped who, but a prominent male character did get drugged by a woman and forced to have sex with her. Even as he lost control of his body, his face during the early stages and his subsequent reaction made it clear that he was not just uncomfortable - he was TRAUMATIZED.
And it wasn't swiftly forgotten by the writers, either; the assault was angrily referenced in an encounter between the victim and his assailant many episodes later.
And if they do, they tend to be laughed at, for feeling so
I have not finished the video yet but I think Shawshank Redemption gave a respectful but brutal insight into prison rape culture. I did not realise how pervacive these jokes are; it has certainly left a bad taste in the mouth. I am actually appauled by some of the big stars shown in this video making light of such a topic, it's horrible.
It was very hard for me as a female to deal with one day suddenly saying I was sexually assaulted, I can't even imagine how it is for a male. We should join hands and start solving this problem, speak openly about it, shut the mouths that say it was our fault for being weak, female or male.
THANK YOU FOR HIGHLIGHTING THIS RIDICULOUS DOUBLE STANDARD. Consent is required from both parties in an encounter. End of discussion.
This is vile. Utterly utterly vile. Never reflected on how widespread this evil is
As a feminist who is especially vocal about the rights of LGBTQ+ people and sexual assault survivors, I'm shocked to realize just HOW normal these jokes seemed to me. It never crossed my mind joking about the sexual domination of men was what it was: Joking about rape. Thank you for taking the time to make this video, I'm sure it wasn't easy. I feel incredibly foolish, but I'm glad my eyes were opened to this problem I considered so normal.
I’m a woman and this upset me more than the topics you covered about women. At least in our case it seems like the society is starting to listen a little. Kudos to those men who stood up and told their stories despite the inevitable, disturbing ridicule.
"If Hollywood writers and comedians really want to break taboos and push boundaries, they could try treating survivors of sexual assault with a measure of dignity and empathy, because that would be a guaranteed way to shock their audience". Brilliant. It's a sad reflection of our culture when something like this needs to be said.
Thanks for posting this.
I vividly remember watching a movie where a woman rapes a guy and he's literally tied up and she does all sorts of things to him and i remember being so disturbed by that scene only to later see that the guy falls in love with her and i understood something was very wrong but i didn't know what it was, as a little girl i felt so scared by it but i don't think other people were, i even remember it being sort of funny to them
Re: the prison conversation, I worked in prison and I absolutely LOATHE it. Prison IS the punishment. Sexual assault in prison should NEVER ever ever be encouraged.
That Conan clip was disturbing. It's his show, he has control over what he says.
I didn't notice till now how much media makes fun of this
Well that was uncomfortable. I used to think this joke was acceptable when I was younger, but then I realised, well, all of the above.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who was weirded out by Deadpool's rape joke in the first movie. No one else commented on it.
I find the Deadpool thing to be a little more acceptable, because Deadpool is not a good guy. He is threatening to kill that guy, not just rape him. Why is it so much worse that he threatened to rape him?
I'm sure you may not read this but I wanted to thank you for making this video. It helped me come to terms with my own sexual assault and has inspired me to speak out against it.
SVU making a rape joke, almost as if that show doesn't actually care about what it could do to highlight these issues but is actually a shameless way to profit off of sexual assault.
Thats just evil making fun of a sexual assault victim.