THIS is Why People Still Walk All Over You (5 Reasons Your Boundaries Aren't Working)
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- Опубликовано: 17 июл 2024
- Tired of feeling like a doormat? In this video, we talk about why people still walk all over you and what you can do about it.
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I just wanted to put this out there for the people who I know who are heading for the comment section who have tried the boundaries thing and you haven't seen any positive results I just want to say there are no amount of boundaries you can put up that a reprobate will respect they have no respect for anyone not your fault just cut them loose and don't look back.
Very well said 👏🏽👏🏽God bless you🙏🏽
You will literally burn out before they respect your boundaries. With such people, the only way is keeping your distance and resisting the temptation to go back hoping for a different outcome.
@@chrisanthemum6051 so very true.
So very true. Jesus said to separate from reprobate people, not just try to create boundaries against them.
What if you’re married to that person?
If boundaries work then our relationship with these people would be healthy. These people have no respect for people's boundaries; they're boundaryless.
I had my boundaries violated continually by family. They just simply didn't have respect. When the physical abuse started and they hit my child, I WENT NO CONTACT. To keep my children safe and because they violated my boundaries as the mother of these children time and time again. I have been no contact for 5 years and the other week at church I was baled up outside the door by a cousin who told me to go see my family because they were sad and they just want to see me. She took it upon herself because she had the title of cousin to "tell me" and then told me that God will tell me. HE already has! HE has told me to take my children and get them to safety and this is exactly what I have done. Jesus was no pushover! Know no contact is a tough one but this tough boundary hasn't been violated yet and it misdoing myself and my husband and kids ALOT of good because the family members who have been abusive for far too long don't get to anymore.
This doesn’t work with the cluster B, they just get sneakier and do it all when you are not around. It just isolates the one setting boundaries.
I agree we need to have discernment. Some battles just aren't worth fighting.
For those of us who lack boundaries like me, who are most likely codependent….
Please make a video with direction on WHEN to stop focusing on boundaries as the answer, rather than taking yourself away from a relationship with a very toxic person…
Because Truth be told, If I don’t know boundaries, I also won’t know when or how to leave 🤔
Until you encounter a 'malignant narcissist' .... ! Some people are simply allergic to the word 'NO'. And will let you know the full force of their wrath. It's better to have the spirit of discernment to 'identify' toxic people and steer well clear of them thereby avoiding 'evil' and the default darkness they bring with them.
Yes, and there are others in our lives who once they realise they can no longer get from us what they have become accustomed to, will simply disappear. Painful, but proves that they were never true friends.
May God strengthen us and grant us increased wisdom and discernment in the coming year!
Oh my word!
“Don’t let momentary (good)emotions cause you to back down on your boundaries, and don’t let (an angry) momentary reaction cause you to set boundaries you won’t keep!”
Me in a nutshell! All emotionally based!!
I said NO many, many, many times to my oppressive enemies. In accordance with this word and numbers 10:9, 2 corinthians 6:14-18 I bind myself freed of every enemy crossing my boundaries and land, in the name and blood of Jesus Christ, amen and hallelujah:
"When you go into battle in your own land against an enemy who is oppressing you, sound a blast on the trumpets. Then you will be remembered by the LORD your God and rescued from your enemies"
I know that I need to set boundaries, l also need courage to do so..🙏🙏
1: Boundaries are for you
2: Your boundaries are extreme
3: Your boundaries are reactive
4: Boundaries being set are weak
5: Boundaries don't have consequences
Ive had boundaries placed around me from my family, since middle school: 39 years old now; when all I wanted was help with achieving goals because I didn't know where to start so I picked a kind of job. (Mom wasn't supportive enough to the point where she was always occupied with her goals and my dad was into drugs..)
Thank you Kris! God bless you and your ministry
Thank you for sharing and watching!
When you said, “you should have been setting biblical boundaries all along, my blood pressure went up, because those of us who attended church or were reared by women and men who were taught by the pastors, ministers and or priest, that the man is the head of the wife and the wife is to submit..No wiggle room tolerated, so we did not know we as women had the right to set boundaries even if a man slapped you around and there was no get out of jail once you said, the I do’s
I know what you mean! My hope is to undo a lot of the wrong teachings on what biblical boundaries look like. Never did God place man (or anyone) in a position of authority to abuse another.
@@Kris_Reece Men have a habit of interpreting scriptures in the way they want. Yet women give birth to the men, yet men want to put down women? Is it to escape the dominance of his mother?
Women submitting to their husbands, is between the woman and God, the husband is not to enforce that. Same as the man loving his wife as Christ loves the church, is between him and God. That is where many people got it wrong.
I simply hold a question about the male dominated view of the church. That's where my boundaries are... with those kinds of churches. John 3:16 calls Jesus the only begotten son of God. How does someone be begotten? What is the purpose behind silencing women? And denying the feminine aspects of the Godhead? I'm not a feminists, per se. I highly believe in right relationship. And toxic beliefs are toxic beliefs. It logically follows that joining with those trapped by toxic beliefs will create a toxic situation.
@@ThrivingWithGaylaDGaia you got that right! I almost died due to a wrong belief system and toxic churchianity from mom and ex husband and whats really sad is that it took Jesus laying His mind, heart and eyes over my own and telling me internally that He wasn't there (in churches) and then The Father said to me "COME OUT OF HER MY PEOPLE" I actually developed thryoid cancer at 37 that almost killed me twice before they figured out i was even sick. I had NO IDEA. That was the beginning of my TRUE awakening. I left and haven't looked back. 25 years of marriage hell and 41 total of pure hell. I got delivered and not the churchy way!
Boundaries dont work sometimes. ASK GOD FOR HELP. WE DONT WRESTLE AGAINST FLESH AND BLOOD REMEMBER. AND SOME PEOPLE ARE SO TOXIC ONLY GOD CAN HELP THEM.
This is a refreshing comment, I sometimes think what the heck are some people driven from... 😔
@@benedettadeluca7910 thankyou. Sometimes i need to be reminded that its flesh and blood. It really seems like the people! This is tough 4 all of us!
hello kris reece, i wasnt aware how much of a doormat i am. often I find myself in his situations where I feel uncomfortable. I thought it was a problem of lack of confidence or personality but no one ever taught me to have and set limits. you are here now. thank you. (From France)
Thank you. ❤️ Never felt that I was allowed to assert my boundaries whilst I always respected other's boundaries and well-being. I realise my pain resulted from not having the courage to be clear and assertive. It's difficult, but I'm gradually getting better at it. Thank you for validating that it's biblically necessary to set and assert our boundaries but in as rational and calm a way as possible. The way of our Lord is the way of discipline and love, not weakness.
I could not handle confrontation to save my life, parents agrued all my life, so I have given in for a quiet life all my life, Only this has been the exact opposite, so i avoid people and that is just has bad. Fear of falling out or being hit, if i stood my ground, Bullied all my life and 60 years old i am begining to understand i am has much to blame, I have left a toxic marriage and the other bully well I now know I have to set boundaries and i cannot do this with out the help of God to show me but He promised to fight for me and plead my case, so prasie His name.
God be with you!
I so appreciate you being transparent and saying this! I too chose to retreat into being quiet and married a covert bully. It’s been a struggle, but I’m finally overcoming. GOD is good!
I am working on setting better boundaries and praying for additional insight. Then your video popped up. Thank you for sharing a Biblical perspective. 🙏🏾
Do boundaries count if you don't tell them you set them? Because if I told my family I set a boundary, that alone would start a problem. So I set boundaries and never told them. They didn't like my behavior, and they just thought I was being a jerk. Even though I wasn't rude, I just said no.
God did not create you to be a doormat👈🏾that part. Another great video as always, you have encouraged me to start my channel ❤️. Keep the videos coming!
Boundaries saved my Life however everyone fell off 🤣🤣 it seems you're only good for how much people can use you. 🤦♀️🤦♀️
If they are being abusive and putting their hands on you then you cut them out of you're life..period !!!!even if its family ,NO EXCUSE FOR ABUSE.. EVER !!!GO NO CONTACT!!!!
I had to quit having a relationship. Took years to get to this point.
Anyone new here, welcome! I love this woman of God! She helps me understand the life God has for us. Praise our Lord
Also, Mark Dejesus on you tube is great and talks about mental health centered around God's love
Whatever behavior you reward you will get more of. If they rage then you give them what they want, they will rage again to get what they want.
Your boundaries must have consequences. You just not a doormat thank-you mam from the bottom of my heart. God Bless.
Thank you Kris for biblical back up dealing with relationship problems. I appreciate what you do!
I set boundaries permanently . Either rise to the occasion or leave me be.
Kris, these videos are life saving. I placed boundaries and adjust them every month. I mostly do silent boundaries, once I speak and they don't listen. Then I go into deep silence, I don't react, I get proactive and they are working very well. The results, I'm now divorced as my ex decided to override boundaries even though I gave him many chances...one thing I can say is that you must learn to control your spirit and stay standing no matter what.....I'm in a very happy place right now. Loving these videos .
I do wonder why boundaries don't work on my wife.
I seem to get this respect in most all relationships...except marriage.
Did you go to God with the problem?
Strong Boundaries are to enforced by you for you. Its about you not them.
Its taking responsibility and accountability for yourself, owing it, claiming it. How others respond is on them, that's their choice. Keep your tolerance for b.s. low and your self respect high. You show ppl what you will and will not tolerate by what you do and don't let slide. Do you bend your boundaries...? A one-off or consistently? Do you find if you give some people an inch they take a mile !? Sometimes you have to stand firm in your convictions without budging to enforce your boundaries. Practise makes perfect and stay consistent.
Can people wear you down ? My advice is stick to your boundaries like glue, protect your Peace & Sanity.
Awesome info!
Great video! Thank you
Hooly Dooly ! Preach it Sister !!!!!
Thank you Minister Reece God Bless you
❤️🙏🏾🙂
Excellent! Very Realistic.
This spoke to my soul
Thank you, for this Teaching!
EXCELLENT TEACHING! THANK YOU!❤❤❤
Thank you love your videos and looking fresh Mrs Kris just love the hair style
thanx Kris. i have been encouraged by you. especially - i don't have to explain my no.
May God bless your youtube ministry.
" Boundary Stompers"...good stuff.
Hi Kris, New Subscriber!!! So glad that I found this Christian RUclips channel.
Your videos are a treasure! Priceless gems of wisdom & solutions. Hallelujah 🎉
THANK YOU SO MUCH, KRIS!!!
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!
I'll just go ahead and listen to this all over again!! Because I will change some things in my relationships and life immediately!!!
THE LORD BLESS YOU, KRIS, BEYOND MEASURE FOR YOUR CARE AND FOR MINISTERING WITH HIM TO US ALL!!!
These videos are so helpful! Can you please do another video about how to set them in a healthy way withoit expecting the other to change? Perhaps a video with many examples so it becomes really clear. Because boundaries should not be ultimatums, but the example of the divorce is also an ultimatum so it is kinda confusing for me. Thank you and bless you! Xx
Fact's 💯 AMEN 🙌🏽❤️✝️🕊️
I cannot imagine being this stable... 🙄🤷🏻♀
Thank you 💯
Today was awesome. Thank you for your insights and Godly responses. I really enjoyed it. It says it’s from
A year ago but I watched it today on RUclips. God bless you. Ann
Thanking you 🙏🙏🙏 🫂🫂🫂
THANKYOU 🙏💌☺️
too late...seems like nothing can fix at all......I stand by you...
Thankyou ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️!!!!
Healthy people that are being abused are not boundaryless necessarily. You can put up great boundaries but a person that has no respect for boundaries will just hop over the fence. In the end a person could say well. You have to go to the extreme what get a restraining order. Boundary. This people don't stop unless they're forced to stop.
"Oh, that I had wings like a dove. I would fly away and be at rest."
Don't be surprised when the name calling begins in response to your boundaries.
I really appreciate this video, thank you. I’d like to know if you have any videos on setting boundaries with teenagers. I’m a single mother of a very aggressive 15 year old boy. He shows no respect towards me and zero obedience to any rules I put in place. Yelling, swearing, not going to school, coming and going as he pleases. He’s 15 and it -30 where I live. I can not detach from him or throw him out and I don’t want to. I just want to protect myself and have more confidence and conviction when I approach him knowing I can stick to my guns…..but I don’t know what that looks like.
I totally understand...
Id love to see a video on boundaries with teenagers...as well.
Your illustration was exactly what my husband and I had to do with HIS sister! We both stopped taking calls because of her toxic behavior. We told her that if she wanted to communicate, she could email. That way, we could ignore any toxic behavior but still leave a door open for her to respond appropriately. She ignored that boundary and came to our door repeatedly ringing the door bell, yelling and refusing to leave. My husband warned her once to leave or he would call the police. When she refused, we called the police. She then parked herself on the street out front of our house, thinking the police would be siding with her. Of course, they informed her that it was our property and she had to leave. She is now campaigning telling lies against us to everyone. It isn't easy to set boundaries with a family member but I keep reminding myself we need to do this by asking myself what would I do if this behavior was coming from someone else that I cared less about like an acquaintance or stranger.
Your boundaries must have consequences
There’s a scripture that tells us those who don’t work don’t eat that is a consequence somebody doesn’t want to work and earn their keep they’re not going to earn their keep
2 Thessalonians 3:10
Also I Thes 4:6 DO not be taken advantage of ...
NO means NO, Yes means YES, no more no less, it is what it is, get used to it like it or not that is the way it is. Get ready to be pushed, taunted, manipulated and bullied until you PROVE NO means NO. "Let's go to counseling" ever heard that, that is HIM telling you what WE will do, it is a form of manipulation to make you believe you need help, why go to a counseling when YOU have set boundaries, you don't need a councilor to tell you what boundaries you have set. NO Means NO you have already said it, no more no less and you don't need a validation from an outside source.
Amen 🙏
So what if a narcissist claims no communication as her boundaries if she your wife claims she is the victim and needs time to heal from the abuse / trauma of the relationship which is her fabrication. Healthy communication is important and separated fir 6 months hoping things will change without action plan is unacceptable to husband
My boundaries were ignored and worse.
?????????? Can you suggest a video? My son who is 37 talks very rude to me and I finally told him he was being disrespectful . He blocked me and I have not seen my grandkids for 2 years. He has climbed th corporate ladder and I believe left the church. I have only reached out in kindness and sent cards to the kids etc. My heart is so broke, but this is not abnormal behavior from him.. Thanks...
the worst type are narcopaths, they will come after you and try to kill. sometimes they win.
💯
I sound like the narcissist in some of these statements.
Because when they tell me they will lie about something I gave them so they don’t have to repay or split something with me. I think, “after all I have done/sacrificed for you, you would turn around and lie on me?” 😮 So, not all these stmts could identify a narcissist.
سبحان الله وبحمده عدد خلقه ورضا نفسه وزنه عرشه ومداد كلماته سبحان الله العظيم
ربنا آتنا في الدُنيا حسنة وفي الاخرة حسنة وقنا عذاب النار اللهم صل وسلم على سيدنا محمد وعلى اله وصحبه اجمعين
I’m wondering how you feel about me blocking my sisters phone calls and texts. Her name calling and trying to destroy my character has been going on for a long time. Almost always over the phone . I did tell her that was finally enough and blocked her. I feel bad. I just can’t do this off and on abuse from her. She’s always sorry. But it happens again. I truly feel done.
Be done. Be at peace. If she shows repentance and changed behavior over time, then see how it goes.
for the last 15 of our 39 years my wife wouldnt respect any boundaries.
?????What happens is when God has asked you to refrain from communicating with this person and you disobey and leave communication open, it is leaving the door open for them to interrupt and distract aal the time.
Just say NO! Cut off contract! Easy
My bro and sis have kids and I always ask how the kids are doing
Everything I ask is about the kids
?????How to handle boundaries when one party actually taps your computer, phone, texts, emails, phone calls, everything. That is not even legal. Just because they have that technology, they feel entitled to do it when you have asked them not to. If I were ever to do that to them on their phone and their families electronics, they would feel disrespected. As a matter what is someone that ghosted me from their phone, now doing this to me?????
👏🏻👍🏻👍🏻
سبحان الله وبحمده سبحان الله العظيم
😍😍😍😍
The cops took the side of the burglar. They are crooked too.
✝️🤲😇❤️👍🇵🇰
Jesus had boundaries. Follow the 10 commandments given to Moses to share with you or go to hell. Plain and simple.
No, you don't know. You are think what you know that people do that is what they do. You are wrong.
With all due respect if you set boundaries and the other person is not respecting your boundaries I think you need to ask father God if he wants the door closed between you and that person because father God will close doors with toxic people and that's where you need to jump for joy. With all the respect she's very good the speaker is very good at what she's saying but you need to be very firm right from jump Street when I say no it's no when I say yes it's yes when I say I need to think about that let me sleep on it or give me a day or two then make sure you get back to that person when you say you're going to and if you didn't have time for whatever reason to think about it politely ask for an extension but get back to them don't leave them dangling don't break a trust issue. Here's an example of mine if you lie to me one time I close the door and I tell people this right from the beginning I will close the door because when you lie to a person it is intentional you are intentionally manipulating them. I have zero time for it because there's other ways that if you don't want to talk about something you can just say just that you know what I'm really not comfortable to talk about it at this point and then you have to respect the boundaries that the other person has. Establish things right from jump Street end of story
With all due respect and also sounds like they could be a narcissist narcissist do not do boundaries their brain does not have the neurons connecting properly and I say that without malice
Nope. Narcissists are highly insecure, angry control freaks who want to control your life and they care nothing for your soul! Their brains work fine. They just do evil and enjoy it.