What to Expect After Going 'No-Contact' - Day 4

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  • Опубликовано: 28 авг 2024
  • Join me as we journey the 12 (toxic) days of Christmas
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    Day 4: When You Go 'No-Contact', Others May React This Way
    • What to Expect After G...
    Day 5: Overcoming Toxic Thoughts that Run in your Family
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Комментарии • 901

  • @Kris_Reece
    @Kris_Reece  Год назад +26

    FREE 5 Day Created with Purpose Devotional
    krisreece.com/5-day-devotional-series/

    • @INDOMINION
      @INDOMINION 2 месяца назад

      You are a sick person. It is human nature to feel hurt and rejected when someone doesn't accept your apology. Your psychology is twisted. The devil lives in your heart.

    • @INDOMINION
      @INDOMINION 2 месяца назад

      Sick and twisted.

  • @cmsbeth
    @cmsbeth Год назад +251

    No contact is a boundary that you set to protect yourself from further abuse. It is not punishment. It is a safe haven. It is forever. 😢

    • @almohvn33
      @almohvn33 Год назад +10

      Beautiful!

    • @sharlafenwick4056
      @sharlafenwick4056 7 месяцев назад

      But she says they will lash out at you & smear your good name. Maybe even be dangerous! Be careful ladies.

    • @anaid4718
      @anaid4718 4 месяца назад

      Totally agree you need to protect ur self n ur family.

    • @jamiereneemilligan
      @jamiereneemilligan 3 дня назад

      Yes you never want to live with evil

  • @TYGZus777
    @TYGZus777 Год назад +420

    I can accept the narcissistic people's behavior after enforcing my boundaries. However, I am completely flabbergasted at everyone else's support of them. It is amazing how physically attractive, charismatic people can get away with such horrific behaviors.

    • @bubbalintina-kt4so
      @bubbalintina-kt4so Год назад +25

      I feel you. They are gold to others

    • @kat-75
      @kat-75 Год назад +25

      Not so good looking physically speaking...people do that too.

    • @Rise-ce1wb
      @Rise-ce1wb Год назад +9

      I agree, I just had a conversation on this today.

    • @octoberdawn1087
      @octoberdawn1087 Год назад +5

      Yaaaaaassss omg

    • @octoberdawn1087
      @octoberdawn1087 Год назад +24

      And because they're beautiful, they accuse me of being jealous. My spectrum brain cannot be jealous of the action of self obsessiin with themselves. I'm obsessed with... going to the thrift stores, painting, playing my guitar, Star Trek obviously, This kind of stuff.
      The other weird thing is that my 17 year old daughter has way better boundaries than i ever have had and I feel guilty about that. I know I traumatized my kid because I used to drink but I quit 8 years ago.. And she tells me she loves me every day now and I don't know what I did to deserve her forgiveness.
      I am grateful for it

  • @alfredmkendlana4424
    @alfredmkendlana4424 10 месяцев назад +60

    I am scared, yet I trust the Lord for protection. I am on 7 days of cut off. There has already been an attempt to smear me. Oh Lord prepares me for this. Let your grace be sufficient for me in this season.

    • @Lauren-vd4qe
      @Lauren-vd4qe 8 месяцев назад +5

      avoid the pple that they know; make friends in other venues.

    • @elizabethd.2398
      @elizabethd.2398 6 месяцев назад +2

      Eleven years of NC for me now. The way we should look at this is that the fake friends and flying monkeys will all show themselves to us. We should actually be happy that the narcissist has done us a huge favor by showing us who’s on our side and who isn’t. “You will know them by their fruit.” 🍇

    • @melissaculpepper7663
      @melissaculpepper7663 4 месяца назад

      My loving husband gently showed me how I was addicted to the drama. So, like any addiction, you gotta go “Cold Turkey”!!! I did not follow his advice, initially. God allowed me to choose to engage them and suffer as a result. I finally submitted my weakness and will to Lord Jesus. He has delivered me from that addiction to the drama and I am fully recovered from it and have been no contact for 5 years!!! Lean into Jesus! He will carry you through!

    • @zxcvzxcvzxc
      @zxcvzxcvzxc 4 месяца назад

      How are you doing beloved? ❤️

    • @user-wi2nt1qk5g
      @user-wi2nt1qk5g 3 месяца назад

      Praying for you remember the Lord is with you and give it all to Jesus.

  • @KenishaCable
    @KenishaCable Год назад +136

    "A title doesn’t give someone permission to mistreat you." Yes!! Thank you!!!👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🥰👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

  • @mynewlife1911
    @mynewlife1911 Год назад +178

    Going no contact is def not easy. Been a year plus of zero contact w him and anyone he was associated w. It’s way better than being in hell w all their sick ways. Much love sent to anyone dealing w a narc or narcs. They’re awful but you can prevail and you should.
    I bought a small farm, got a puppy, started gardening and got back into cooking.
    You deserve lots of love❤

    • @jeannieotb8491
      @jeannieotb8491 8 месяцев назад +2

      my dream xx love and light xx

    • @cathyfiorito
      @cathyfiorito 8 месяцев назад +1

      Sooo wonderful

    • @nancymcgrath6283
      @nancymcgrath6283 7 месяцев назад +1

      That’s wonderful!!❤

    • @LanaLane46
      @LanaLane46 6 месяцев назад +1

      Omg awesome farm life is so beautiful and healing 🙏

    • @doorpakor5813
      @doorpakor5813 5 месяцев назад +1

      You're doing amazing 👏

  • @beccavision933
    @beccavision933 11 месяцев назад +12

    My Narcissistic sister and elderly mother have become unbearable. Last straw for me was my mother physically assaulted me and left a 3 inch bruise on my arm. I am now in no contact for a month. My Mom posted on facebook a meme about all a mother wants is love from her children. She is now telling people I abandoned her. (mind you I have been a loving giving daughter to her my whole life, especially the past 6 years moved to live near her to take care of her).This woman is mommy dearest times 10 and my sister encourages her. No contact so far has been a relief and in my 60s realized I was abused my whole life but didnt know it. Thank you for validating that I am doing the right thing.

  • @grantaugustyniak6667
    @grantaugustyniak6667 Год назад +33

    If a narc apologizes- MAKE THEM EXPLAIN WHAT THEIR APOLOGIZING FOR - this will tell you if they really mean it or not. I’ve done this & if they can’t answer that question- then they are truly not sorry !!! Most narcs will stumble for an answer or cannot answer that question at all.

    • @67cici
      @67cici Год назад

      Excellent hope this works

    • @BillRWare
      @BillRWare Год назад +1

      They ought to be able to explain why without being asked. If I have to ask, then I'm inviting them to tell me what I wanna hear. An absolutely sickening soliloquy to bear witness to, IMHO...

  • @billevans4470
    @billevans4470 Год назад +67

    Day one, time to unravel this unholy mess. Please pray for me to stay strong and move forward.

    • @angelagrant2943
      @angelagrant2943 Год назад +3

      God bless you, I'm going through it to .

    • @deborahhoffman7394
      @deborahhoffman7394 Год назад

      Well said. I can identify. Amen.

    • @Lauren-vd4qe
      @Lauren-vd4qe 8 месяцев назад +1

      you dont unravel it, you DISCARD IT. block them, dont call them, see them or anyone who knows them.

    • @_-YoMoMMa-_
      @_-YoMoMMa-_ 5 месяцев назад

      I hope things have gotten easier with time

  • @charlottebruce979
    @charlottebruce979 Год назад +28

    I went no contact and blocked him from everything, so I got no back lash whatsoever. All I got was peace and quiet, and I don't care what he's thinking or saying or doing because I don't care.

  • @deborah.hdowner226
    @deborah.hdowner226 Год назад +53

    I am praying against the bitterness right now.

  • @apconnections9691
    @apconnections9691 Год назад +41

    My narc shredded my heart and brains through manipulation and hoovering. I felt I had no where to turn. So many wrong decisions I made trying to get away from the cleverly laid snares. Now, my Helper, given to me from Christ, teaches me everyday how, when, where, and why drawing boundaries is essential in my life going forward.
    Bitterness will NOT take root ever! Thank you for your prayer.

    • @nixinixi7
      @nixinixi7 Год назад +2

      I feel so bitter right now, it’s been5 months🫣

    • @ottoadsit1241
      @ottoadsit1241 Год назад

      The truth that remains in your heart will make you stronger. The narc will get weaker on the inside. The truth will set you free ...eventually, over time.

  • @mariamadsen7071
    @mariamadsen7071 2 месяца назад +5

    A total abandonment and complete rejection from everyone. Every single person I knew (cousins, siblings, community, acquaintances, etc) even my neighbours. My father made sure to poison every paths around me. He knew I loved cats and once terrorized me by killing/slicing a cat and leave it on my door steps. I am trying to heal one step at a time, the abuse was undescribable.
    Kris, you are a gift from God to me, God bless you! ❤

  • @baddriversofrva
    @baddriversofrva Год назад +136

    Thank you for this point. I went NC with my mom almost two years ago for continually testing my boundaries, giving unsolicited advice, and gaslighting, to name a few. I forgive her and respect her from afar. Cutting off her narc supply and codependency from me, her only child, gave me freedom.

    • @Kris_Reece
      @Kris_Reece  Год назад +21

      I'm glad to hear that you're forgiving and honoring but you also finally have peace.

    • @baddriversofrva
      @baddriversofrva Год назад +19

      @@Kris_Reece Thank you, and I am so grateful for your ministry. Finding someone on RUclips who spoke on these issues from a biblical perspective was rough.

    • @sunshine-db2zm
      @sunshine-db2zm Год назад +7

      Me too...been no contact a year now

    • @Corinna_Schuett_GER
      @Corinna_Schuett_GER Год назад +9

      @@baddriversofrva I'm a single daughter too, sometimes I cannot even wrap my head around the fact how ANY parent could treat their single child that way, EVER.

    • @Corinna_Schuett_GER
      @Corinna_Schuett_GER Год назад

      @@baddriversofrva Dr Les Carter is a good YT source too yet he's not born again in Gods Spirit.

  • @dr.bunnywilson8321
    @dr.bunnywilson8321 Год назад +18

    Been enduring narcs ALL my life!!!75 years young not giving up YET....as long as God is with me.... he's already done ALL THAT!!!!!

  • @torshiaseales5061
    @torshiaseales5061 Год назад +51

    So true. In my case my toxic partner called all my friends in a failed smear campaign. He called MY closest friends - calling 2 of them up to 20 times in one day! Lucky for me, MY friends put him in his place!!!

    • @Lauren-vd4qe
      @Lauren-vd4qe 8 месяцев назад +3

      THOSE are true friends!!

    • @cathyfiorito
      @cathyfiorito 8 месяцев назад +1

      This is a Blessing strong true love of friends
      God Bless

  • @theflowerangel5724
    @theflowerangel5724 Год назад +17

    Also, remember, the narcissist will backstab and talk badly about you behind your back.

  • @srl8036
    @srl8036 Год назад +60

    This is EXCELLENT from a Christian Perspective. Powerful content! So rich!

  • @MegaSinglechick
    @MegaSinglechick Год назад +66

    My mother says sorry all the time, but it's just a word and her behaviour always goes right back to how she's always been. They are expert manipulators and the older they get, the worse they get.

    • @Kris_Reece
      @Kris_Reece  Год назад +10

      They do tend to get worse with age. :(

    • @Corinna_Schuett_GER
      @Corinna_Schuett_GER Год назад +2

      @@Kris_Reece You could do another video on the elderly narcissist e.g. on Proverbs 1:20-31 they will implode themselves after all. 😄👍

    • @TruthBeTold0914
      @TruthBeTold0914 Год назад +3

      ​@@Kris_Reece Okay, thank you for saying that. I noticed this with my NPD mother and thought I was going crazy (as per usual in any relationship with them). She 💯 gets worse with age.

    • @buffy1835
      @buffy1835 Год назад +4

      I found with my mother, she got, for lack of better words, sloppy in her old age to hide who she really is. Disheartening

    • @Melissa_John3_16
      @Melissa_John3_16 8 месяцев назад +2

      Mine said sorry then hung up on me!

  • @kw25627
    @kw25627 8 месяцев назад +9

    The thing that shocked me the most was how all of my family rallied to their defense - including my husband. Our marriage has never fully recovered from it. I was the one who was unreasonable and everything was my fault, even though everyone had witnessed their behavior towards me. "You just need to get over it and forgive. We need peace." They were enabling the offender instead of defending the victim (me). They totally had them snowed with the empty apology. "I'm sorry. Are you happy now?" Stated with an eyeroll and a snark. Thank you for helping me to see the dynamics happening here; it helps to ease the feelings of betrayal.

    • @katherineirvin7464
      @katherineirvin7464 5 месяцев назад

      Stay the course. Stay godly even when provoked. Pray for your abusers. God sees and knows. He will not be mocked by evildoers. You will be vindicated.

  • @gwendolynwehage6336
    @gwendolynwehage6336 Год назад +22

    I have had narcissists come back later after being disrespectful and act so sticky nice it was easy to see they were fake. Its the sweet/mean cycle, if mean doesn't work they will try sweet. When sweet doesn't work they will go back to mean until they don't see either working, then they disappear.

  • @skittlesskittles7577
    @skittlesskittles7577 Год назад +56

    It’s been almost a year since I went no contact and SO THANKFUL I did so I can breathe and experience peace. The problem now is having the flashbacks and reminders that stir up hurt and anger. I still love them and forgive them. My hope is that true healing can come from the hurt and anger. Still, I couldn’t be more thankful to be on the road to healing instead of the constant road of turmoil and chaos!
    I can finally truly focus on relationships with God, my husband and children. Thank you God. ❤️✝️

    • @Kris_Reece
      @Kris_Reece  Год назад +7

      May God continue to bless you on your journey! Thank you for sharing

    • @almohvn33
      @almohvn33 Год назад +7

      Recovery for any hurt... can take months, years.... With every breath.. you are freer!!!!!

    • @donaldleek1325
      @donaldleek1325 5 месяцев назад

      😢 don't forget that the person you still love doesn't exist

  • @zinnia3684
    @zinnia3684 Год назад +17

    My 106 year old dad who is not a Christian is in his last days. I will soon have to be in the company of my narcissistic family. I am a born again Christian and that is another divide. Being an empathy in the mix is a real stumbling block especially when there will be so little of any realistic knowledge of what comes after the death of a nonbeliever. It will be my biggest challenge. I will let the Lord lead me in all things and button my lip. Please pray for my dad at this time of such urgency that he soften his hardened heart and call out to the Saviour.

  • @drawingrox
    @drawingrox 8 месяцев назад +3

    I am going through this with my oldest son. It’s so hard but it feels better not having to be bashed and berated constantly by him. He needs prayer.

  • @andronicagonzales2206
    @andronicagonzales2206 Год назад +83

    I have really prayed to the Lord for good counsel and your channel has came up and helped me so much with a family cut off. I have been gaslit and judged so much and its the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I have had to keep this to myself and work through it on prayer because there aren't people I can trust that have my best interest. I'm am so greatful that you have this wisdom to share and to help me. Even though you don't know me and well never meet but your helping me so much to proccess what's happening and to have the counsel I need. This is such a hard time and it has weighed me down with depression. Just having biblical insight and the knowledge you are applying to it completely helps me.

    • @chautran2588
      @chautran2588 Год назад +2

      Tapping therapy (on RUclips) can help with your depression. It's a free DIY.

    • @kellyanne7225
      @kellyanne7225 Год назад +4

      God gives us a sound mind. Satan tries to remove it. God absolutely cares about your emotional health and we are told to get Godly counsel.
      I have on 3 occasions because of three different traumatic circumstances. I can’t imagine how I could have gotten through without those people, who I know God provided at those times.
      Now I am wanting to be that helpful person for others!

    • @beckyg8028
      @beckyg8028 Год назад +5

      You're not alone. I'm going through the same thing.😢

    • @HBudianu
      @HBudianu Год назад +1

      God bless you. Yes. People don't always have our best interests at heart. They usually don't understand how bad things really are and the last thing we need is for our issues to be downplayed and not taken seriously because we did that to ourselves long enough. Praise the Lord you have Him! Looks like He is jealous for you ☺️ ❤

  • @moonlightstargem1006
    @moonlightstargem1006 Год назад +20

    I agree don’t ever respond immediately. They call repeatedly one after the other. It almost felt scary and demonic at one point. I went through a lot of scary moments!

    • @exlesoes
      @exlesoes 11 месяцев назад

      Me too
      We are not anyones punching bag(s) either they want to gang up on individuals

  • @chautran2588
    @chautran2588 Год назад +24

    Their grandiose mind never see anything wrong with them. It's always your fault. Period.

  • @elainesmith5313
    @elainesmith5313 Год назад +4

    Kris.....you have total described my life with the Narcissist for 45 yrs. He died in Jan. 2022. His Narcissist Mother. "Thought"? That she was going to put me in his place to take care of her. 6months after his death apparently she "Thought she could rail on me to whip me into shape....she got the surprise of her life because 45 yrs of stored anger from me broke loose, and believe me it was not pretty. I discarded her and the Flying Monkeys in the family. I am FREE AND MOVING ON IN NORTH CAROLINA!
    THEY ARE NOT WORTH THE EFFORT!!!
    I AM A BELIEVER IN JESUS CHRIST. NOW I know how He felt clearing out the Temple. Praises to God!!!!!!

  • @user-jd5nm8px9g
    @user-jd5nm8px9g 8 месяцев назад +1

    I am so grateful that you repeatedly note that heart transformation is no problem for an Almighty God. So many people seem to give such hopeless messages about relationships with narcissists and how it’s never going to change. Nothing is impossible with God! That keeps me going! Thank you for your ministry.

  • @pineneedleknits
    @pineneedleknits 7 месяцев назад +4

    Day 2 of no contact with my narcissistic mother. Praying for her and those in her close circle, but from a distance.

  • @sammyrnaj
    @sammyrnaj Год назад +7

    Their reaction is the following:
    *They get into an internal rage.
    *They twist every story to make you the culprit & them, the victims.
    *They dramatize & exaggerate their lies that they transfix them as their reality
    *They'll destroy or withhold any of your possessions.
    *They'll provoke directly or indirectly constantly, to get your attention or a negative reaction to enforce all their lies.
    *They'll literally place any common friend or acquaintance into the Bush-Syndrome: either with them, or against them.
    *And the list goes on...

  • @susanwilliams8234
    @susanwilliams8234 Год назад +16

    Wow! You hit the nail on the head! Kris Reece - Jesus is using you in a mighty way. Please know your words and guidance have been not only validation for my actions via walking with God but also a relief to know I am not crazy. God Bless you!

  • @teresapatterson7837
    @teresapatterson7837 Год назад +7

    OMG! These teachings have helped me so much. The Lord has revealed to me that my Father is a Narcissist. Suddenly Everything in my childhood made since. Also you’ve confirmed things I felt Holy Spirit told me to do. For so long I thought I needed to tolerate toxic relationships to keep from being alone. Then the Lord showed me he was all I need, and he would make up for the loss. It’s better to be alone than to settle, and this is in friendship or romantic relationships.

    • @mannalawson432
      @mannalawson432 9 месяцев назад +1

      I 100% agree and I pray that the Lord will continue to meet you in this space and love you so well! May He continue to be all that you ever need/want in this life and the next!❤❤❤

  • @kemaberry3538
    @kemaberry3538 Год назад +10

    One thing I've noticed since I am now aware of all the narcissist's in my life is they will NEVER come to you and initiate a conversation if they see you're upset. NEVER. I've not heard any folks on this topic mention this one

    • @deecastillo7133
      @deecastillo7133 Год назад +1

      Yes! Once they notice its been 3yrs and you've moved on n ur happy WITHOUT them so they pop up out of nowhere n act like "nothing" n try 2 pick up the pieces without an apology or even better blame some1 else.

    • @katherineirvin7464
      @katherineirvin7464 5 месяцев назад +1

      ​@deecastillo7133 in hopes you'll have codependent amnesia. No response. No Contact.

    • @NataszkaFarr-ti1by
      @NataszkaFarr-ti1by 5 месяцев назад

      True. Never they never come to you to discuss any feelings when they know you're hurt . No issue ever gets resolved. And it's always my fault cause "I'm not being nice etc..." gaslighting . Again actions speak louder than words. Their actions show they do not love you... yet.. I'm married to the guy what to do... ugh

  • @PistolAndPluck
    @PistolAndPluck Год назад +12

    The "I'm sorry" is the equivalent of that hideous, itchy sweater that you're forced, through guilt, to wear despite the fact that it gives you hives and makes you overheat... "You'll wear it and be grateful!"
    Nope, I grew out of that sweater! Merry Christmas to all who have as well!
    I thank GOD for growing into an adult and being able to make my own, healthy and comfortable choices. HE is a good Father.
    Thankful for Kris also, a good guidepost along the path.

    • @ShoshiPlatypus
      @ShoshiPlatypus Год назад +1

      Love the analogy of the horrible sweater! Is it one of those hideous Christmas ones lol!

    • @mannalawson432
      @mannalawson432 9 месяцев назад +1

      This is such a truthful analogy! ❤ Thanks so much for sharing!

  • @lynnwillis4332
    @lynnwillis4332 Год назад +16

    I recently had coffee with a lady that had been attending a bible study I went to. She seemed very eager to be my friend and wanted a soul connection very quickly. After listening to her story for 20 hours in one weekend and having her oscillate back and forth on how much of her story she wanted to share, I received a text in the following morning in which she obviously resented sharing too much and placed the blame on me for taking too much of her time, I cut the relationship. She had been born into a cult and been raised in it. I could see that she was taking cultish practices and trying to force them into her Christianity. She had a jekyl/hyde sweetness/anger characteristic. Later, I found out that she had tried to isolate me from the other people in the bible study by calling them up with these uncontrollable anger urges and then tell me that they were saying horrible things about me. Too twisted for me! NC all the way!

    • @Lauren-vd4qe
      @Lauren-vd4qe 8 месяцев назад +1

      she sounds bipolar, wolves among the flock, for sure tell the bible study leader about this or she will do it to other pple also.

  • @Meggiebeth19
    @Meggiebeth19 Год назад +10

    Interesting about narcissists & apologies. They apologize but it’s brief & they expect an apology in return. Don’t fall for their manipulation! Spot on if you don’t reply immediately to a txt from them. Interestingly, they have to be in control- control everything but they lack self control. They’re always right in their eyes, they know everything in their eyes & look out if you disagree- any self control disappears & rage erupts from them. Great channel. God Bless you all.

  • @jeaniewheeler191
    @jeaniewheeler191 8 месяцев назад +3

    You are helping me so much. I've watched so many of your videos. I just wanted to say thank you. I was searching for Christian Counselor to help me heal. I believe God gave you to me. Thank you so much.

  • @jrvargas3096
    @jrvargas3096 Год назад +7

    It’s been 9 months since GOD saved my life I been learning a lot under my pastor especially biblically advice on my situation I told my ex about the conversation me and my pastor had and she did not like it, the truth is I rather be more obedient to the word of GOD that’s more important.

  • @aamponsaaa
    @aamponsaaa Год назад +17

    I hurts when you've tried to love a person with all these traits the best you can and given all you can and you are made to believe you are the problem. After being left drained, you see other people enabling these behavior and they keep going on like it's all good because look other people are okay with them and loving them and you end up with nothing and you actually start believing maybe you were the problem because everything is going for them. But pray to God for healing, that is all I pray for right now 🙏

  • @rt2244
    @rt2244 Год назад +23

    Thank you. Healing and peace are coming to me. For a long time I felt like I was crazy and no one would believe me. I have gone no contact with my mother and relatives.while going no contact the one constantly contacting me is my mothers sister she is an enabler and loves gossip.

    • @tonyaberney156
      @tonyaberney156 Год назад +1

      I pray soon 🙏 peace n healing is on the way for me also.. peace be with you.

  • @moonlightstargem1006
    @moonlightstargem1006 Год назад +5

    Then remember you are always in control of yourself and your situation. And your thoughts and your reality and your emotions.

  • @bonnieromick9397
    @bonnieromick9397 3 месяца назад +2

    No contact has helped me introspect and heal and learn .without more damage. God doesn't change people who don't want a change. He always asks even before a miracle if you want it

    • @bonnieromick9397
      @bonnieromick9397 3 месяца назад

      Your such an anchor for me. I needed the Christ perspective and Bible way to handle these spooky people. So glad to have a loving Father as God

  • @user-vp1pe8yz2t
    @user-vp1pe8yz2t Год назад +19

    I want to thank you for all of your teachings! It has driven me to self reflect on all of my past sins and dig deeper into Gods word.

  • @lisawells9905
    @lisawells9905 5 месяцев назад +2

    I went no contact with someone a few months ago. She put a note on my door saying that I had told her that I went no contact with her because God told me to. I never said that to her. This was when I realized that she had been easdropping on me and a friend of mine. However she didn't listen to the entire conversation. I asked the person that I was actually talking to if I had said that. He said absolutely not then quoted what I actually said. I had said that I felt that God was leading me in another direction.

  • @almohvn33
    @almohvn33 Год назад +6

    The more I watch on this subject, the more I realize how Satanic it is and the damage it does to such beautiful, giving people.
    I pray for every person right now that is dealing with NC. I am about to enter it.

    • @bfthompson416
      @bfthompson416 Год назад

      Thank you for your prayers and I am about to enter NC also! Prayer is absolutely necessary and will get us through. God has sent Kris to minister to us!!!

  • @sally5256
    @sally5256 7 месяцев назад +1

    I love your idea don’t confront toxic with toxic. Speak in a godly way! Thank you! 🙏 ❤

  • @anngudenrath3028
    @anngudenrath3028 Год назад +9

    Thank you thank you for this confirmation! FINALLY getting wholeness and health in all of this at nearly 70 yrs old and divorced from One of these at 50 yrs of marriage!

  • @Dalffineydarby
    @Dalffineydarby Год назад +2

    I have been dealing with this with my dad for 59 years I been alive it’s so hard I’m done with him he locked me out of the house without a eviction notice nothing he wouldn’t let me get y prescriptions nothing he was very cruel he’s moving a 40year old girl he’s 81 he said to me you make
    E sick to my guts gtfo of here I been living with them since 2014 my mom was sick with cancer so I took care of her she passed away that left me there with my sperm donor he just got worse he’s cut my legs out from underneath me no one will help me with anything he even has my family against me I’m talked about he lies so bad about everything . I’m scared alone and don’t know what to ok slept I. My car lastnight I’m lost for words!
    Thank you so y h for having these clips for all of us to watch and learn what we need or should do !
    I Appreciate you , Jodi

  • @pammillington4857
    @pammillington4857 Год назад +7

    My eldest sister has never apologised for anything because she never believed she is wrong about anything. I am surprised to here that some narcs apologise!

  • @gloriaslusher2634
    @gloriaslusher2634 5 месяцев назад +2

    This is very true, they will prove it, Yes this is very helpful. They definitely will try to change...❤

  • @mirnacudiczgela1963
    @mirnacudiczgela1963 8 месяцев назад +3

    I was accused of being vindictive because I "abandoned my mother while she is old and sick", only to later find out she went to Rome. As far as I know sick people cannot travel.

  • @cynthiajoy2700
    @cynthiajoy2700 Год назад +18

    Kris, you are a genius. You nailed every aspect of the inner dialogue that a scapegoat/discarded person has with themselves over the Hoovering and eventual relapse into old behaviors that narcissist in our lives perpetrates when we continue to forgive and take them back, over and over again, only to get burnt even worse each time. You nailed on every aspect the actual conversations we have with others who try to guilt us into putting ourselves in harm’s way over and over again. These people don’t want to be the scapegoat themselves so, when things start getting sketchy after we’ve gone, no contact, these people start scrambling in a panic when they need their old scapegoat back! They don’t want to be the next “it” in the narcissist’s game of “Scapegoat Tag”.

    • @lennyluzitano8920
      @lennyluzitano8920 Год назад +1

      😅yea...nailed...it ...all....

    • @vanessamorey3812
      @vanessamorey3812 Год назад +1

      Let them rip eachother apart...
      Karma is a patient gangster.
      Scapegoat OUT!! 😊

    • @andragooding-martin4574
      @andragooding-martin4574 Год назад +3

      Am dealing with one also and boy oh boy it is the worst so am thinking of going no contact

    • @mr.makedonija2627
      @mr.makedonija2627 9 месяцев назад

      ​@@vanessamorey3812lol. I like that !

  • @robinlewisart_1997
    @robinlewisart_1997 Год назад +9

    This was so helpful and thank you for that beautiful prayer at the end. Prayer really makes a difference because the confusion and hurt is so painful. The prayer is the calm to it all ❤️

  • @aimeehodgin6359
    @aimeehodgin6359 11 месяцев назад +2

    Yes. I have experienced this with my Mother. 3 yrs ago, for 6 months I pulled a No Contact. I explained myself to my Father. He saw my side clearly. For 6 months, I sought counseling, because I thought...there may be a version that I instigated this. I did not. My Mother slays with words & power. It is an ongoing battle...but one that I do not meddle in. I make choices! I have learned not to stoop to cater....but to hold my head up & keep walking & not to jump when she utters a sound. I believe I am doing great at this. Knowing that I can pray through hard times & seek His guidance. & If I do not get anything...I make the choice not to talk to her until I know I have resolution. I do have to have boundaries. I acknowledge them & maneuver through just fine. ✌🏻

  • @kesteramoah5742
    @kesteramoah5742 Год назад +7

    You are educating me. I understand now

  • @freetobememe4358
    @freetobememe4358 Год назад +2

    I just had revelation, worrying about what someone thinks is pride. Ouch

  • @robinberry4957
    @robinberry4957 Год назад +14

    Exactly what’s happening to me! They are INSANE!😂

  • @kross6478
    @kross6478 21 день назад

    I just found this channel. One of your videos was sent to me from a trusted loving family member after I had been praying for guidance. Your videos described my sister and mother to a T. I have gone down a rabbit hole just watching so many of your videos in the last 24 hours. I received clarity and validity that me blocking them was the right thing to do. They have absolutely drained me through the years. But I am currently grieving the loss of a beloved family member who is physically no longer here as well as the no contact with them. They really left me no choice. This is one of the hardest times in my life and I'm trying to get back to some sense of normalcy. My sister is currently on tour with a smear campaign. I'm prepared for it. My husband and children know the real me and if they are all that I have, then I can live with that. But the killing part is that God has really placed so many sisters and mother figures in my life, that I really don't have to miss them. And she knows nothing about them and can't get to them. I'll continue to pray and I'll get through this. But thank you so much for these videos. You have a new subscriber. ❤

  • @bfthompson416
    @bfthompson416 Год назад +6

    I am getting ready to go no contact with a toxic friend - have known her for 18 years! Have had numerous times of no contact. But we always end up back together. I do this! I know now that God has been trying to get me to end this relationship - and am finally hearing Him clearly thanks to you, Kim. Ready to make this break!!!!! Have probably been in co-dependent relationship. Thank you for your ministry!!!

    • @bfthompson416
      @bfthompson416 Год назад +1

      You can do it - I just did it with a friend I have known for 16 years and same things have happened for me. Exact same!!! You will experience such a relief and a weight off your spirit and joy! And I believe your friend will also experience joy. I believe mine is! God bless you!!!

    • @Theresa-ub6xp
      @Theresa-ub6xp Год назад +1

      Chris I am ready

    • @Lauren-vd4qe
      @Lauren-vd4qe 8 месяцев назад

      so what happened

  • @scottgruchow
    @scottgruchow 8 месяцев назад +2

    Dear Kris, I’m so glad I stumbled across your channel. Stumbled was a little sarcasm on my part because I believe it was directed by God. Since I began this journey on researching narcissism I’ve come across many good therapists/ psychologists who have given me a lot of good information. What I like about you is the biblical and Christian influence you use in your podcasts. You’ve been such a blessing to me already after only listening to a handful of programs. I’m not currently seeing a counselor but have come to the conclusion that it is a necessity. My wife and I are in a desperate situation. Since I started this journey I’ve had my eyes opened to the many narcissistic traits she has towards me, mainly the gaslighting. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve made many mistakes myself and don’t want to paint myself to be a better person than I really am. I realize the importance now of getting a good councilor, can you help.

  • @inelisseotero-diaz6117
    @inelisseotero-diaz6117 Год назад +18

    Thank you Kris! Your ministry is so necessary and has come to my life in the exact moment I needed it. May God keep blessing you and expanding your reach.

  • @ellenarnett3527
    @ellenarnett3527 Год назад +2

    It’s been 5 years and 7 days since we moved out of my Absalom step-son’s house and were delivered out of their hands. He went no contact 4 months later after not hearing from us. Everything you’ve said is spot on. What a relief to hear the same things He has said to me from a Follower of Emmanuel. Thank you. God always shines light into darkness for me. Thank you, Abba.

  • @debbierobertson9221
    @debbierobertson9221 Год назад +5

    So blessed! So happy your a Christian! I stayed because I am. What a mistake I made. What you are saying is exactly what I have been through!😢

  • @kayjohnson5524
    @kayjohnson5524 2 месяца назад

    When I walked away from my daughter’s, my Pastor told me I did the right thing. I have a Therapist. I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD. I will heal & get past all of it.

  • @carolejackson8357
    @carolejackson8357 Год назад +4

    I recently discovered this channel. So supportive and wise.
    Yes, much easier to manage when we know what to expect. Generally, I've found that holding my boundaries often causes the narc to go away.
    One kept returning months n years later claiming to be a changed person. Nope.
    So I don't care if he walks on water, I'm done. He stopped calling as he likely senses my resolve.

  • @JulieAnnStone
    @JulieAnnStone 5 месяцев назад +1

    Yes, this is precisely what my husband and I are experiencing!!

  • @YvonneMarieElliott
    @YvonneMarieElliott Год назад +5

    Definitely helpful!
    God is opening my eyes through your teachings, and i think its so bad right now because ive been ignoring the signs that started years ago that i can now clearly pinpoint.
    Thank you!

  • @waterfall844
    @waterfall844 Год назад +5

    Absolutely 💯 . The worse experience I ever been through. And I am doing no contact. This is exactly how they behave.

    • @bfthompson416
      @bfthompson416 Год назад

      God bless you. I am just now getting ready to go no contact. It will be rough I know but am now finally listening to God through Kris. He will help me and you!

  • @kombuchababy6542
    @kombuchababy6542 Год назад +4

    When I said I wanted to go no contact my narc started text love bombing me (this happens every time) about what a difference I've made in their life and how I will always be precious to them. I wrote back, "What a sweet thing to say."😊
    I think they recognized that I'm no longer falling for it.

    • @Lauren-vd4qe
      @Lauren-vd4qe 8 месяцев назад +1

      why did you even write anything back? DONT REPLY to him! BLOCK him from your phone and DONT see anyone who knows him.

    • @kombuchababy6542
      @kombuchababy6542 8 месяцев назад

      @@Lauren-vd4qe That's exactly what I did 9 years ago. Not sorry at all. Life is way better!

    • @Lauren-vd4qe
      @Lauren-vd4qe 8 месяцев назад

      totally! been there done that!! @@kombuchababy6542

  • @fitandfabatsixty
    @fitandfabatsixty Год назад +6

    Oh heck yes! Living through this right now, in fact!

  • @staceytilley8417
    @staceytilley8417 Год назад +8

    So, I’m only 10 minutes in, and it’s like you are narrating a situation that my husband and I dealt with. If only I had known about this 15 years ago. This couple was basically using our Christianity against us and holding us hostage. They did all of the things you said, until it became almost stalker-like and creepy. I finally had to cut off all contact which was difficult because neither I nor my husband are confrontational people and had helped this family and cared for them so much. We had witnessed to them and invited them to church. Some of the people at our church thought we weren’t doing the right thing. They thought that forgiving means remaining close friends with someone. Two years after cutting off contact, they apologized to us which was so shocking to us! I told them that I had forgiven them before they had even asked because that’s what God requires if us. I told them that I just couldn’t trust them anymore, so we just wouldn’t be close friends anymore. They understand, and we remained friendly and cordial, and they have finally moved away. Thank you for this video. It’s good to know that we handled it right (even though we should have cut contact sooner). I also did keep from going around trying to defend myself at church when she tried to turn people against us. There were times I wondered if that was right or not because I sort of withdrew a bit from certain social situations for about 2 years.

  • @petuniagranny2758
    @petuniagranny2758 Год назад +5

    My husband and I set our boundaries, and the narcissist set out to create a smear campaign on social media. First she stalked our friends lists on facebook, and then when we went no contact she started the campaign. We never fought back, and after time she stopped. It was crazy. She is my step daughter, who is in her 50s. My husband actually said no more, and enough is enough. It was a difficult situation, but as far as I am concerned, it was abusive for her to do what she did.

  • @ruthstolz7127
    @ruthstolz7127 Год назад +3

    I over-explained to everyone, the narcs, the flying monkeys, relatives, neighbors, on and on... I'm getting a little better, today i said rhat we don't see eye to eye and we've decided to spend less time together. I didn't say how much less or I needed to be no contact. I feel so much better being no contact from the toxic people. I have to stay away from them. Thanks for your concise Biblical teaching about this evil.

    • @noranchodalery
      @noranchodalery Год назад

      “And now, my daughter, don’t be afraid. I will do for you all you ask. All the people of my town know that you are a woman of noble character.”
      Ruth 3:11

    • @mannalawson432
      @mannalawson432 9 месяцев назад

      I appreciate how honest you are! Also, I chucked a little bit at the “flying monkeys” but I also nodded solemnly, thinking “that’s SO true!” 🙏🏽 blessings!

  • @abrahamdugay9986
    @abrahamdugay9986 День назад

    Sometimes we need to make a decision that will hurt us ...but will bring peace for a long long time

  • @lonsp.t3568
    @lonsp.t3568 Год назад +3

    Thank you sooo much for this video Ms Reece. All your webisodes are extremely helpful to me. I really pray to be delivered and healed very soon in JESUS' NAME 🙌🏽🙏🏼

  • @sanctity65
    @sanctity65 Месяц назад

    I am ready from South Africa. I expect backlash from other toxic people. Thankyou for your brilliant teaching! It has been a good eye opener!

  • @meganthomas4524
    @meganthomas4524 Год назад +4

    My situation was a little different, my narcissist accused me and a few others of talking Ill about her behind her back from “reliable” sources. When I heard of this (because they did not approach anyone just stopped taking to us) I truly could not believe that it was being said because it was not true. Because I stood up for myself and would not apologize for something I did not do, the narcissist cut us off.

  • @neemast4365
    @neemast4365 5 месяцев назад

    Kris, love your teachings. I'm going through it right now....separation from classic covert vulnerable narcissist husband. He's classic. Everything you say is so accurate. I didn't know until a few weeks ago the name for this crazy relationship. I thought narcissists were all grandiose. Thank you for teaching such great information. God is working!! He's my Waymaker!

  • @stanleychavez5790
    @stanleychavez5790 Год назад +4

    But most importantly, we all have our own faults to deal with. We don't have to live with a toxic person, but we have to live with ourselves 😂

  • @bfthompson416
    @bfthompson416 Год назад +2

    Thank you I just went NC yesterday evening. What a relief and such a weight lifted off my spirit! Yes, it is best for both of us! Mine was a good friend of 16 years. God has been trying to remove this person from my life for many years! Finally I have been obedient! Thank you Kris for your ministry and thank God for not giving up on me!

  • @jackiejackson1854
    @jackiejackson1854 Год назад +10

    I'm so blessed by this video. Its timely and on point 🙏

  • @nowiknowanarcor2197
    @nowiknowanarcor2197 8 месяцев назад +1

    This woman is 100% correct . It happened to me and my husband when we went no contact with a female sociopaths and almost in this order !

  • @cookiesmom584
    @cookiesmom584 Год назад +5

    No Contact Reaction: Always Promises everything I want to hear denies the negative things he has said. Said he didn’t mean it..
    i.e. when he bought me this ring that I wanted he said sternly twice, “ I want to make sure you know this is not an engagement ring”. I knew it wasn’t .. but I broke up for other reasons.. when he begged to come back and I confronted him he said that’s not what I meant. I should’ve slipped the ring on your finger and told you I love you and I want a life with you…. I got back with him it’s been a year and a half and all of those empty promises and more have not come through. Who’s the idiot… me :(

  • @AllThingsComeToLight
    @AllThingsComeToLight 2 месяца назад

    This!!!! All. Of. It! I just left a covert narc, 3 years wasted to say the least. I feel more at peace than I ever have!

  • @LindaSheaffefSheaffer-bo4vm
    @LindaSheaffefSheaffer-bo4vm Год назад +7

    I just found you! What a blessing! Thanks for all you do!

  • @carolynjaynes9094
    @carolynjaynes9094 5 месяцев назад +1

    My favorite feature on my cell phone is "Block this person." I look at actions, not flimsy words. Apologies mean nothing after atrocious behavior. Make an ick list of their behaviors and insults so you remember it all and don't go into denial.

  • @erintighe8795
    @erintighe8795 Год назад +8

    I am so connecting with this series! So timely during the holidays!

    • @67cici
      @67cici Год назад

      Me too long after holidays still stuck to Kris video and wisdom

  • @WillowHopeBartlett
    @WillowHopeBartlett 2 месяца назад

    I see the narcissist in the old me, recognizing my own shortcomings gives me more understanding and compassion and strength to be no contact

  • @BrigitteWakolbinger-nh1gn
    @BrigitteWakolbinger-nh1gn Год назад +6

    Greetings from Austria! Thank you so much for the biblical help + introduction. For your understanding and wisdom AND for your prayer ❤ Brigitte

    • @bravescarycat9430
      @bravescarycat9430 Год назад

      GrüB Gott, from Belgium. I’ve been to your lovely country many times 🙂 I am so grateful for this channel. Helps me a lot. All the best, Marijke

  • @melissaculpepper7663
    @melissaculpepper7663 4 месяца назад +1

    This is happening NOW! I’ve been no contact with my mother for the last 5 years. Out of the blue she texted me from an unknown number with this scathing text. She’s trying to use leaving me money in her will as leverage! I have not responded and she has escalated to vicious phone calls and calling me bipolar and not a real Christian. My brother also has started insulting voice messages from an unknown number. I’ve blocked them several times. I’m so much stronger and now, I don’t really react like I used to. I praise God for His strength and grace! I pray for them but I’ll never want to see them or talk to them again. The rest of my family ignores me. Thank God for Jesus Christ and my blessed hope that I have in Him and my “forever Family” in Christ Jesus! God is so good! He sets the captives FREE!!!

  • @shellyn802
    @shellyn802 Год назад +4

    Yes, this is my Dad. Calls my ex husband all the time. Now my stepmom has died & I am back to help him. He is lost. Pray for me😅

  • @angietyndall7337
    @angietyndall7337 11 месяцев назад +2

    Sociopath-Narcisst are Hell itself. After almost 50 years, I couldn't handle my "dad" anymore. So, I went NC.

  • @hello122ful
    @hello122ful Год назад +7

    Amen!! Thank you for that prayer! It was just what I needed!!

  • @amyferrill770
    @amyferrill770 8 месяцев назад +1

    My story is very different. After 40 years of marriage, my narc husband had a massive stroke and poof, I am in total charge of his care. I did 24/7 care for almost four years until I couldn't do it anymore. It took 2 months with him being in long term care before I started to see how blind I was! I was snowed, gaslighted, you name it, for all those years. I guess I got my wish because there's no way he can get to me because he's in a nursing home for good. But I'm grieving the loss of my hopes and dreams. I'm waiting for a DV therapist to help me figure out my strange thinking. It stinks all around.

  • @TheMostHighJesusChristInc.
    @TheMostHighJesusChristInc. Год назад +4

    Excellent content!! God Bless You!!

  • @wesleyoneill4003
    @wesleyoneill4003 4 месяца назад

    Thank you Kris, it's like you know my personal story. There's some very painful areas you've touched on. You've really helped me. There's been times where you're made to doubt your reality. Yikes.
    Thanks for helping me tremendously. Love your help in this area.

  • @kevin-xx4te
    @kevin-xx4te Год назад +3

    Went no contact Tuesday May 16, untill June 10, 2023 with her knowing it. It is May19, three days later and she texts me say she thought she heard my voice on her mother's answering machine! Are you okay? You are right on the money, thanks for putting the truth out there!

  • @kamilapatynska-mrozek8867
    @kamilapatynska-mrozek8867 7 месяцев назад +1

    Dzięki temu kanałowi i komentarzą innych ludzi czuje że nie jestem sama❤
    Życzę wszystkim odnalezienia spokoju ❤

  • @liselottgajsek
    @liselottgajsek Год назад +3

    Thank you Kris!! This is so me . I needed to hear this again . Bless you!!! Lotta from Sweden 🙏🙏🙏🥰🥰🥰🕊🕊🕊🕊