How a Covert Narcissist Controls You Through Disorientation - Day 10
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- Опубликовано: 29 сен 2024
- Day 1: How to Deal with a Manipulative Mother - Biblically
• How to Deal with a Man...
Day 2: How to Not Let Toxic Family Drain You
• How to Not Let Toxic F...
Day 3: 7 Gaslighting Phrases Manipulators Use to Control You.
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Day 4: When You Go 'No-Contact', Others May React This Way
• What to Expect After G...
Day 5: Overcoming Toxic Thoughts that Run in your Family
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Day 6: Setting Boundaries with Toxic Family
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Day 7: 7 Signs of a Covert Narcissist
• 7 Signs God is Showing...
Day 8: 3 Ways to Disarm a Narcissist
• 3 Ways to Disarm a Nar...
Day 9: When Toxic Family Uses Special Occasions to Reconnect
• When the Narcissist Us...
Day 10: How a Covert Narcissist Controls You Through Disorientation
• How a Covert Narcissis...
Day 11: 6 Signs You Need to Break Away from Toxic Family
• 6 Signs You Need to Br...
Day 12: How a Narcissist Interprets Forgiveness
• How a Narcissist Inter...
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Narcissist, don’t give gifts. They give traps.
Brilliant
I’m so sorry. My first reaction was to laugh at this REALITY! In truth, it really is so heartbreaking. Guess how I know?
They give- to get something back from you ( con game )!!
WOW!!! Right on point.
My MiL always wanted them back. I kid you not! And so I’d just give them right back and say we can just cut to the chase! Wow it made her mad! Later it was things for the kids! So after she did this to the kids a few times, I said Ok is this actually theirs to keep? Or will they have to give it back later? Cause if so, we’ll give it back now! Oh my - so mad -
And God help us cause she was just so good to us! Believe me, we paid dearly for those gifts, regardless if we got to keep them or not! 🙄
When you don't know yourself, others can knock you off your balance and cause you endless Confusion, doubt, pain. Know thyself!!!! 🕊️⭐
I couldn’t agree with you more!!! 👏👏👏
Truth - A book to read DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR - memoir/self-help...
Yes this is so true '. I have had to admit that I am always looking for approval from others and have used kindness, patience and even money to 'buy' recognition and love from others. When the narc used me up betrayed me and then discarded me, I just couldn't handle it and blew up, just what they wanted. I am the problem. Very difficult to accept but I have to in order to heal. I have to accept the ugly parts of my character/personality and make peace with them so I can find inner peace. The narc in me locked on to the Narcissist in them and vice versa. This video and your other videos are so helpful to me at the present time. Thanks Kris. 🙏
AMEN AMEN
Amen
I have lived 32 years in an unhappy marriage with a narcissist and he got equipped more and more with making himself a victim. He presents a sweet face to all sessions and I take the blame for being unforgiving and holding on to the past even if it happened 3 days ago. I thank God for bringing this channel to my attention. I nearly destroyed myself! May God reign and show His mighty hand
AMEN. Yes, trying to get my life back
I have hope for you that you can find a way, if it's possible, to break free from him, I know how desperate their destructive behaviour can be. Whether you can or cannot get away, I wish for you limitless strength to resist, power to endure & peace in your heart. One:LOVE.
33 years for me. Hope to get out soon.
😮one word only?😅
😈EVIL🤥
more specifically...
It's a toss-up between a chronic control freak and an accusing liar.
Almost 60 years forme 5:43 5:34 5:37
I was married to a covert for 16 years. My word is insidious. If it wasn't for people like yourself who are talking about Narcissists I wouldn't be as strong and educated as I am. Thank you.
Wow Jenni, I could not handle that. I too did not really know anything about narcissists, i am very educated about personality dis orders now. Very dangerous for ones health.
My word is evil
I am finally accepting that my husband is a narcissist! I have been with him for over 50 years. I usually avoid him in conflicts. He is so controlling. I suppose the only way to be free is to leave him , but l am unsure of my ability to make it on my own.
Your life sounds exactly like mine, 50 years of hurt, anger and control. Want to leave but financially and emotionally I can’t. Feel like I’m stuck in the mud. I’m trying not to play into his fighting games but it’s hard because he has molded me into a angry person. You are not alone
Don’t let your own fear stop you from FIRST WORKING ON YOUR OWN SELF ESTEEM! That you can control ! That is your problem that ONLY YOU CAN FIX!
ONLY YOU CAN FIX!
ONLY YOU CAN FIX!
I pray you gain the resources, support and confidence to regain your peace and space. In Jesus's name, Amen.
@@valerieclark2885. Another good resource is Leslie Vernick, who teaches how to discern your issues from his, and who is responsible for what; she teaches skills for staying well, AND leaving, all biblically. Both these ladies offer a wealth of knowledge, insight, and biblical wisdom. Prayers and hugs for you 🥰
😢Me too. 50 years of marriage with my covert narcissist. He was.once, my love and friend, only to find he is an angry little boy who won't heal his childhood baggage and be a Godly man. Being an empathic Christian soul, I was too easily manipulated by his love bombing. I thought we were on the same page with our relationship. Slowly, the truth comes out. The patterns show up. You keep trying to show up for connection and forgive them. They don't get it. They
Don't emphasize or take responsibility for their behaviors. They are not interested in growth, healthy relationships, and mature love
I'm so sad to have earnestly given my life, heart, and soul to such a sad and hurtful soul who just doesn't get it.
I now realize these traits and have surrendered it all to Jesus completely. .
My lifelong walk with him grows deeper, which is my salvation.
Hearing your stories has helped me realize that I'm not the only one who has struggled for 50 years of fighting the Devil. I thought I was pathetic for being so long suffering. I was really being too hopeful and invested.
Now, all my faith, hope, and trust is in Jesus alone. With Him, we are never alone.
Thank you so much for sharing your own stories and lifting me up and sharing your truth!
God Bless and Mary keep you.❤
Control and extreme lack of empathy, they can be so cruel
It feels so debilitating living a life you know isn’t aligning with who you truly are due to being raised by a narcissistic mother and alcoholic father. I felt so lost and alone until I finally left home and cut everyone off. I finally feel free❤️
Good on you u are a strong andconfident human being GO girl
I also had a narcissistic mother and alcoholic father. I raised myself and didn't do a good job. I stuffed back my emotions and learned not to trust anyone but myself. I'm still working on myself with God's help - 70 years of trying to heal.
I had the same! I tried alcohol and drugs to handle it, but I hav been in recovery for 19 years now. I have cut them off and feel so free! Life is beautiful on the other side of that trauma ❤️
Married way toooo long to a Narc. He is crazy, demanding, childish and hates to be told NO. REALLY? I am so over him.
You're describing every single attempt I have made at conflict resolution with my husband. Stonewalling-saying something hateful and mean and then slamming the door and walking out. Coming back later as if nothing was ever even wrong and expecting me to juat be over it. There is so much unresolved conflict, I don't know if the relationship is even salvageable. I don't think I have any feelings left. I'm praying that God can change the situation. It's going to take a miracle.
Wow "they don't want to get it". You are spot on everything. GOD bless you. Thank you 🙏
The covert narc in my life controls through emotions and guilt, and I submit to it and have allowed it for years, being a people-pleaser myself. It's easier to give in than to have a couple days of tears, rage, repeated arguments and being forced to justify myself over and over.
Gray rock. Detach. That’s helped me immensely. I don’t give in but I don’t engage. It works!
J - Don't justify
A - or, Argue with a Fool.
D - Defend, 'cuz they're the
-> defendent.
E - Explain; you can't comprehend for them, so Don't bother.
Now That you know , oh it will just get worse , especially if knows your on to it
I don't respond anymore. Don't show any emotion. Don't speak to him unless you have to, then just short answers. He'll probably play the victim and ask why do you hate me?. Can't be honest with a narc without starting WWIII.
To avoid the victim play by your narc I'd suggest yellow rock, it's a softer version of gray rock. Dr Ramani talkes about it in her vids. It's the same as gray rock except with more of a up beat. Like say you have to respond with one word in monotone, you do so with a thank you at the end or a quick 'have a nice day'. The narc can't make you feel guilty of being cold if you yellow rock
Degrading. That is my complete word that defines my covert. No matter how much effort and success, it winds up getting degraded.
living with a narcissist/ physically aggressive sibling & she tries to control anything and everything she can. i’m saving & working on getting my degree so i can be financially independent & away from her covert narcissism
Dealing with SIL who checks all the box
This is such a good topic. I just had an experience with CONTROL. I ASK him to replant a plant in a pot. He went off ranting and speaking at the top of his voice that he just came from work and I can't expect so much out of him!! So AUTISTIC!!!
Guilt. Oh boy, does this happen. I get reminded how much he’s done for me, eg bringing me a cup of tea, walking the dog, washing my van, putting a shelf up etc etc etc. I could go on.
My husband always says I’m attacking him just for saying can you throw the trash away instead of putting it on the counter right above the trash can. What he is really saying is your my slave you can throw it away.
He is baiting you when he does those things, just waiting for you to say something so he can play the victim and start in on you. I have experienced same thing. I will not say anything and just clean around it. It can stay where he put it till the cows come home. Of course I then realize he will find a new bait to try and start something. I have learned so much since learning about narcissism. I understand all the red flags and the tactics they use. He puts all his frustration into slamming in the sex. Yes I have been packing and preparing. It's all utter nonsense.
Maybe you should rephrase it and say, would you please put the trash out.
@@ziziscorsese9475 🤦♀️
I thank God for bringing your channel into my life. You have helped me so much. I recently got the courage to leave my narcissistic husband, and your videos help me to continue to stay strong and let The Holy Spirit guide me to stay on the path that God wants me to go down, not Satan’s. Christ is using you in a mighty way! May God continue to bless this ministry that he’s called you to do, and bless you personally for helping so many of us become educated and free from narcissistic people.
This is so good. Kris is right on the money on everything. Maybe giving these people too much even. Take it from someone who’s wasted much of my life, my potential and my children’s lives, my health: things will never change. Never get better. Even if it might seem like they are hearing you, trust me, they’re not. It happens over & over until you lose everything. I’m sorry to say this but you need to get away from them. It’s very hard, but God has your back. You cannot focus on yourself while being involved with one of these. Like kris said, I’ve been disobedient so our Lord. I’ve let Him down so much by giving Satan my attention rather the the Lord’s. Don’t spend your precious life on these people. They will take every last bit of your spirit you have. God does not want this.
Amen, Kris. Thank you
40 years ago when my kids were babies I heard a radio pastor talk about what worship meant. He said that whatever you think about the most is what you worship. Now, all I ever did at work at home, wherever, was ruminate on why my husband and I didn't, couldn't get along for more than 5 minutes. I was extremely awakened to the fact that I was inadvertently worshipping my husband. It took some mental exercise to watch what I was thinking about. Jesus calls it renewing the mind. We have to treat it like a beautiful garden and weed out those thoughts. We have to be diligent gardeners of our MINDS♡
Amen!
What happen if He is alone with small 2 boys and raise Tham?
AMEN!!! COMPLETELY!
Amen!!
Ok, so THAAAAT's why they dont react when you are truly crying. Theyve been using tears as a form of emotional manipulation, so they think you are doing the same. WOW. Thanks for opening my eyes to that bit of truth.
When the narcissist is confronted with reality, then they're the ones that become disoriented.
Like when I calmly asked my Narc parents why they don't love me, and my mother jumped up to scream in my face that they fed me when I was a child and I had NO RIGHT to ask that question. She then proceeded to try and turn my husband against me and devolved into tears claiming that I was an unforgiving, hateful person who doesn't know how to love. Let me point out that she has NEVER asked me to forgive her ever, for anything, and I don't believe that feeding a child constitutes love. Needless to say, I was completely disoriented and ended up apologizing to her. As usual.
Ugh. I so relate! I have a narc father.
Feeding a child is love how many kids are not feed! Having a roof over your head is love also! Some people are narcissists they just don’t know how to express love because they were raised by crappy people or situations! I think some of these channels on narcs are ruining peoples lives! Some people or all people have some narc traits but not all traits and are put into the category of being a narc! We all have dis functional families and homes because we all fall short! Life is hard! Narc traits come out when people become selfish and break Gods commandments! Which is going to get worse !
@@choosegoodalways This enabling, gaslighting, nonsense isn't even worth replying to except to say it sounds eerily similar to the kind of BS excuses my Narcissistic mother has made (screamy exclamation points and all). And maybe proofread your post for spelling errors next time.
Food and shelter are the bare minimum that parents are required by law, to do.... but that only addresses the child's survival needs. It doesn't address their emotional, spiritual or mental well-being which a parent should and will provide if they "love" their child. Narc parents that withhold those elements are setting their children up for a whole lot of hurt.. some do it intentionally... and they are sociopaths.
this happened to me also, i have malignant mom, overt father, then i ended married a covert husband.... he uses all my vulnerability to control and abuse me.. everyone see him as a kind charming person.. i just learned about narcissism around 2 years, married for 25 years, now slowly work again to earn money, hopefully can leave him one day
One thing I will add is that covert narcs that are high functioning are VERY GOOD at their emotional regulation to the point of psychopathy. But they are brilliant at undoing yours and making it seem you can’t emotionally regulate as they cut your arms off with a dull butter knife.
I have been in a narcississtic marriage relationship for 34 years. This is the first Christian wisdom I have encountered besides God's Word alone. Sooo helpful! Thank you so very much!!! God's truth does set us free indeed. Prayers needed to navigate through these stormy waters!
Really appreciate the conversational style you use, and also from a Christian perspective! Packed with Godly Wisdom too:)
I am guessing that may limit your audience to some degree, but the language you use really jives with my own Christian perspective and context.
Grateful for finding your channel and may God Bless you with continued blessings and influence on your channel!
Hello
The last 3 years with my husband of 34 years were the worst. I knew I was dying and somewhere in me I decided to live. I would have never thought my husband was a narcissist (covert) or that he would harm me in that way and I knew that he ruined special times for me, every special time, my daughters wedding, the births of my grandsons, even our own wedding. I adored him but I was waking up in the last three years and he knew it and he turned it up. He even threw me a birthday party. Never in our 34 years did we celebrate my day, unless my kids did something. It was a way to show people what a good guy he was by throwing me a party. That’s what really woke me up because I seen the pictures after the party and I was 109 pounds and my skin was grey! Here I am now a year on my own, friendless and my daughter on his side. But I’m finding happiness slowly but it’s happening. Narcissistic behaviour should be put on the books as a crime somehow because I bet there are a lot of women and men out there that did not live through this!
Just found out my mom who is 82 is a narcissist. I have thought I was loosing my mind. Thank you God is good
I get that blame for the disorientation all the time from my soon to be ex. Every conversation became an argument of unflattering moments from every year of our marriage. Then every argument was mentally edited by her and shared with anybody willing to listen. Nothing was private between us and no version of the argument she shared was accurate or included any of her own ownership of why we even had the argument.
Thank u for praying I needed that ,I'm dealing with all this in my marriage
This Person doesn't pour out Tears, It is Aromatic Aggressive Cruelty and Meanness...Even when I do not engage...It's going to B the same outcome...Yes getting away from this person Rt now is my main goal, Thank U Kris, For Your Nuggets of Truth U Share with Us!! 🕊️👑
Hey Kris ! Its in the detail that one sees your personal experience and that you really get this, you paint the tightest and fullest, grittily realistic, no nonsense portrait, and it is so helpful ! I can feel the scars softening and falling away in the same way the scales are falling from my eyes as I shed illusions, and I hope that finally really truly the message is getting through to me, as I admit to myself the intractability and predictability of what I'm dealing with. I've a way to go still, like peeling the onion, perhaps as its my mother who is the one. Don't know if others are feeling the relief too ? The biblical command is to honour parents, and for parents not to frustrate or anger their children. Isn't it funny how the former always comes up in interactions, is enforced in some societies with enormous social pressure, and the last two are forgotten, invisible, scarcely known ! Wonder where that comes from.
My husband does all of these things. Particularly the stonewalling. When I confronted him on that before. Told him why that hurts me. Instead of trying to stop. He increased doing it.
The hard part is that "teaching them to be a better manipulator" is identical to "being a decent person committed to the relationship." Communicating to a normal person that you are sensitive to a particular phrasing is understood as a boundary and their empathy will restrain them from using it in the future. To a narcissist it is now ammunition - they can use it to trigger an emotional response from you while appearing to be the innocent victim of your emotional outburst.
mine says someone else caused my sensitivity n why should he pay if it triggers me in current times
So true-Trying to communicate with them is a chore- you just keep trying but can never reach resolution. If you can communicate easily with everyone else in your family, with friends and at work, but not with this person, you have a bona fide narc on your hands. Any emails or interactions are full of deflection, blame, shame, projection, anger, omissions of facts and truth and no acceptance of responsibility for their actions at all. Detach and rise above it; it will harm your health, never gets better and you will never love them out of it.
Thank you Kris…..this is such an informative video. I am dealing and praying for deliverance from my covert NM….i love her with all my heart….but must accept somehow that’s its over. It’s very sad. But way to toxic and painful and actually traumatizing
... 1 word that describes all narcs is dishonest ... & the 1 way to deal with any of them is to leave them the hell alone ... ❤❤❤
I didn’t get crying but I would get completely shut down and not addressing me and blocking me out, running away so they didn’t have to address the situation. So just complete silent treatment instead of healthy communication
Thank you Kris, I appreciate your work, and Christian values.
I should add because of people like you. I am learning from you. Thank you all so much. May God continue to bless you.
You are 100% correct, accurate on ALL OF THIS! Married to covert narcissists over 38 yrs... going through divorce, I filed. The worst thing....one of my children, rented their home 7 houses down from me to their narc father.... THIS, is beyond, just beyond hoovering, and it's extremely unsettling, confusing causing me many issues to deal with. Past 2 + years with 3 therapists, 2 females, one male, and DID NOT see it, totally allowed the manipulation from the narc, followed the victim mentality of the narcissist which caused more trauma. I've gone back and forth with this confusion, disorientation. I am trying to get back on track after opening the door, allowing myself to be drawn in.
I was just stone walled by my dad for not allowing him to hug my daughter after he's been hanging out with a drug using girlfriend. I do not want to chance her catching some std from this woman. He won't answer my texts or calls. Even when I say I love you in a text. Total stone walling. Its all about them, sad. Let the love of our Father in heaven rule over our hearts. Follow His word and He is faithful.
I describe it to my narc bf of 3.5 yrs of torture and drama and hellish days, nights, weeks, months, years! He picks me up after I fall and break my leg , he carries me up the 10 flights of stairs I need to get up and when we arrive at the roof he smiles at me as if he's my hero and has saved me and I actually am feeling like he saved me cuz of his love and then out of nowhere he shoved me off the roof ! I land face first and break the other leg and thn yep he repeats the rescue and fake hero smile and another push off that 10th floor to the concrete below!!!! Repeat, repeat, repeat same routine of fake happiness in order to shove the happy right out of you what em u fall face first on that concrete!
My narcissist husband is passive-aggressive. We are older, so we are interdependent for certain things. He loves being a martyr and never takes responsibility for the constant sabotage. He "forgets" to do important things. If I have the gall to give him instructions, he changes it to be a destructive fail. He "loses" my stuff or throws it away and then tells me I told him to throw it away. When we have an argument (never a discussion), he either states my position incorrectly, or changes sides if I agree with him. My special-needs brother lives with us, so I have to keep things normal even when my husband intensively tries to create chaos. These days, I tolerate him for his SSI income. Otherwise, he is completely demonic and becomes nastier the kinder I am. I constantly pray about this. We have a nightly Bible reading and devotion/prayer time. I lead it because he does not want to be bothered to do it. It is good for us to have that nightly respite. I am constantly told that I need to be a more Godly wife, but no one really knows what I'm dealing with. My late mother didn't believe me until she came to live with us in her last years. I'm told to be kinder, so I do ask God to give me strength to be kind and Godly. However, my husband is meaner the kinder I am. I try not to care about anything and focus on Jesus.
The deflection piece makes me wonder if I’m a covert narcissist. One time my ex said please don’t make breakfast for my kids and I asked why, I can’t make myself breakfast and not them. He said because I’m asking you not to that should be enough (or something to that affect). I turned around in bed upset because I didn’t understand and he said, I hate it when you do that, it’s annoying. I turned around and said you do things that annoy me too, cooking is a way for me to build connection with your kids. He said something like that’s a bit much. Was I deflecting? I was just angry and hurt. Idk 😔
Hi there,
I truly believe (having a mother who is a deeply skilled covert narcissist) that anyone who is willing to ask input of others or even ask if they might be a narcissist… is NOT a narcissist. In my experience with them, they see zero fault in themselves and will never admit to fault, will never even consider asking how others might be perceiving them. They are experts at using self-victimization as a manipulation tool. A covert narcissist will say things like “I’m sorry! I’m sorry that I was so naive to let you hurt and destroy me to the point where I’m so broken! I guess I should just leave and go live on the streets!”That was a common deflection my mother would use when I was growing up, word for word. So your exchange with your ex does not seem narcissistic in any way. Just a normal miscommunication. ❤
No, you're definitely not a covert narcissist. You're an emotionally intelligent, caring, sensitive person. It sounds like he lost a really good partner. You deserve WAY better, and you're extremely blessed to have moved on without him. 🕊️🌿🌸🌿✨
Glad to hear he’s an ex. Move forward and enjoy peace.
Thank you for your video. You explain everything so good and with so much knowledge on this subject. It helps a lot to see things clearly and don’t be confused with what we as a Christians have been taught about forgiveness and loving people. Thank you, this is needed.
Just know someone exactly like that, she’s a landlord and she uses tears to victimize herself, she is very very controlling and when we try to explain what you felt about it she doesn’t hear at all
Going through a divorce with a covert narcissist. The last couple of months have been an emotional rollercoaster. 9 years together, and over in a couple of months. She walked out, I filed for divorce. I chased she went further away. All I can say is pure chaos. I’m glad it’s over. God is finally giving me strength. She said I never want to see you again, I say I’ve seen through you. Unmasked. There is a god. Amen.
@27:13 This is why my wife ALWAYS finds the councilor and has a few sessions before I am invited in. WOW! Eye opening.... 33 years in and I am just now figuring this stuff out.
Thank you for this video message. I'm living this very issue right now. My left me and our two kids so she could live a new life. I had to give up on her because there was nothing else I could but pray for her.
Sad is the one word to describe them. Sad because they actually think they are winning at this crazy game.
32 yrs in!! Today was a duzzy- it was everything she talks about! I'm exhausted!
This! Firstly thank you for the prayer for both sides. My mom is a narcissist and also a very great "show off" Christian, which off course have made me very negative towards religion because what she does and what she preach and pray are poles apart. Since I've learnt a lot through wonderful online content and to identify the patterns, I can truly feel my heart opening up again, which I am grateful for since Jesus was all I could truly depend upon when my biological dad passed when I was 9. Back to narcissim: The gaslighting will go on for days, I will simply ignore it all or treat with minimal response. Then all of a sudden it will be thrown at me that I think I am so mighty/special/great, then that will quickly escalate to she will destroy me, ruine my life and show everyone who I am. She will phone family, friends and do the crying episode or a whole "spagetti at the wall" episode in a very passive aggresive way, come up with so many untruths and even phone the police and accuse me of stealing her things which are in actual fact my own things. I have to hear every single day how ungrateful and terrible I am for things that she didn't even do for me, but my step dad did. Since my step dad and two brothers passed away, it is like she trippled her efforts in ruining my childrens' and my life, yet I'm the only one that have always supported her and in recent times willing to look after her. I am at my end and dead tired, can hardly focus on work to earn a decent income, it is just drama from morning till night - I work from home. This is my mom, what do I do when my support system is now gone, I can't just pack up and leave even though that will make my kids and I the happiest people alive. I am currently dependant on our accomodation which is neither of ours but rented from a relative at minimal cost. I can even see how leaving will be a fiasco, even though I've had 5 home before and half the things here are mine, she says I have nothing, everything is hers and it is just getting crazier by the day. When I moved in I respectfully asked that all our things are kept seperate but she just simply unpacked my things between hers when I was out. Back then I though well, it's ok I will adjust, now I apparently have nothing even when my kids tell her which things are mine, she claims we are just all in conspiracy. It is so difficult, anyone been through this, how did it end? Most days I don't even feel like getting up anymore but I do for my youngest son, my eldest lives away and I can just see how this is affecting my youngest and it breaks my heart because I know I have to choose between our mental health and my mom. My nephew is my eldest son's age, he has been very supportive but they are a young married couple and I even feel terrible for him constantly having to jump in to set my mom straight and I can see he is also getting so tired of this. There is just no way we can convince my mom to go to an oldage home, partly because I think she knows she won't make it living with other people and her behaviour would probably not be tolerated towards others.
Prayers you will find a way to walk away. You can help with her "care" from afar. Yours and your children's happiness and well being is the most important thing. I waited until my last child graduated from high school and am in the process of leaving my covert narcissistic husband. Wish I had had the guts to leave long ago. He has turned
our daughter against me. Prayers 🙏
Prayers for you and your family
@@lorettaj6995 Thank you for your kind words. I am sorry to hear about your daughter, she will find her way back to you 🌷. How brave of you to walk away, I wish for you complete healing and lots of happiness in the years ahead. We are the authors of our last chapter when we take our lives and selfworth back. Prayers and blessings for you and thank you for sharing with me.
I cannot be 100% sure but I believe I was with for two years a covert female narcissist. I got treated very very good for the first 5 to 6 months. Then things started to happen. She was always right, never wrong, when I would tell her I loved her, she would only say "I know that". Never tell me she loved me. Belittled me many times. I was always on the bottom of her list to be with. Always in the events helping out, doing may charity functions, being with her friends, but I was on the last of the list. There were times I would feel drained when I got back home. Told me how to dress and there were times I didn't really know who I was anymore.I broke up with her three months ago, and I heard she has been seeing somebody else since last month. She’s only 5 foot one, but she has an ego of 10 feet. She is now with a new supply, and they go places a lot and he spends time at her place a lot. "She is not posting anything on social media. Not letting anyone know". I have driven by her house and always see his car there. I am having a hard time getting over her even though I broke it off. I guess it’s because she has somebody, and she’s happy with, and I am still without a partner. BTW: she is 70 and so am I. Just having a hard time gripping this.
Sometimes they intimidate through use of authorities as well ~ police, psych professionals, social workers.
But when you are a child you have little hope
Thank God my father let me often with my beautiful grandmother
#4 Guilt. He said that he is so stressed and that he don’t care anymore. And he blocked me . All this when I confronted him about his wrongdoings and I said I was done with liars.
Thank you , for being. A friend .
One example is “why didn’t you tell me you were gonna be off? Why?” I’m like thinking why is it a problem? Then he says , you need to tell me when you’re gonna be off. Another example is : im driving and the sun is bright on the passenger side so I I turned the visor down on passenger side. He says why did you do that? I answer and say I can’t see with glare of the sun. He says well now the glare is bothering me. Im thinking dude im driving you’re not. But of course I didn’t say this outloud
My husband told me I was a hater because I changed depts at my job because of coworkers being blatantly inappropriate with a coworker they werent married to and our director didn't take action. It was going on for a long time and I shared this with my husband, and he tried to put me down for it.
I have been a Vistula of that experience with my daughter many times. Always blaming myself for not understanding. Thank you for helping me understand.
Boy, oh, boy, sadly, Sister in Law, wanted to control EVERYTHING, temper tantrums, rage,
and crossing my boundaries
Thank you so much. Your videos are amazing, knowledgeable and to the point. How do you explain to someone that they are in a vicious abusive cycle getting nowhere? Almost as in a trance from the narcissist blocking their discernment.
How about 38 years with a covert narcissist and all those same years as bipolar, 18 without diagnosis and 20 with and medication. Nightmare!🙏✝️🕊️❤️‼️
It's very hard as I work with a young narcissist during Sunday school. It's horrible and the person interrupts & works hard at stopping the Holy Spirit because they want the control over and against the Lord. It's horrible and they've lied about me and have gossipped and I'm so isolated because I have no " earthly" vessel to reveal or even know the truth. I cry out for God & I've been very ill over it.
Last weekend... this is my world with my LO
I would spill my guts out in an effort to put all my cards on the table. He would then deflect; talking about how there is nothing left for him to do on this earth, he’s waiting to die, nothing makes him happy, and he’s a failure. I fall for the bait and feel bad for him. Then within a few weeks, he’s running with the neighbor and denies, denies, denies
that anything is going
on. I always called him out on his lies. I am just realizing that I have been being covertly abused the whole time. Where there was kindness and generosity on his part, I now question anything was authentic. It’s torture.
Great content, and amazing glasses 🤓 👍🏽
Thanks for all the positive influential information very helpful and would be used, also praying tips that was a very good prayer ❤
this is exactly my day to day life. Thank God I found this channel and God is using you for us😊
I'm in that situation as we speak feel like I'm in a box and can't get out
AMEN! SO helpful. Thank you.❤
Yes!!! We must still be working towards growth!!! Let God deal with them and do damage control and prevention for your kids!!!
This is so heartbreaking…
Evil! That’s the one Word that comes to my mind about a narcisist.
One word to describe the narcissist? "Satanic"
Manipulation for the sake of
Attention and
Control due to their overwhelming sense of
Entitlement
After 22 yrs with a covert narcissist, the one word that comes to mind would be.... Evil.
One word to describe a narcissist…Selfish.
Ye. Persistant calls to bullying or word Salad
one word! self absorbed , even though technically it is two words.
You’re great. Thank you.
Two of my Christian friends have made it their mission to save a Narcissistic woman with increasing dementia!
They are doing it and insisting she be included in all our group activities to the detriment of many of us and our enjoyment.
I have told them that for my own personal health, I need to avoid her yet they insist she is the priority!
It saddens me that a narcissist is fooling such good friends!
What can I do?
What should I pray?
The narcissist says I ran across. Would tell me she was going to give me a job in California with a friend of hers. Talk to me into to staying with her so we could get ahead for a bit. Quickly. Got jealous of even whatever relationship I had with her dogs. Started. Say putting words in my mouth that I never even thought. Had me pay extra money to help her out even though I didn't know such a thing until she decided it was time for her to make some money off me. And the next day, no matter what I did or said it was over. She'd already decided to go without me and continued you to treat me like poop under her shoe. Thought she could say anything she wanted to me. And get away with it. She pretty much did though get away with it. Thank you. But I blocked her and I don't want anything to do with her.
What if your parent created the situation that eventually set you off and you acted in a narcissistic manner because you're human and tired of the abuse? This kind of thing is the reason why these types of situations are so complicated and confusing, not to mention it makes 'said abused person' feel absolutely terrified of being a narcissist themselves.
Being sick and overwhelmed
@9:20 I recently had my stbx ask me if I would "freak out again" if he turned on a scary movie. He knows I have horrific nightmare hallucinations when I see certain things, and I don't freak out, I just leave the room so I can sleep at night.
I finally stood up for myself for once, and told him it was unnecessary for him to say it that way. That it was hurtful, and I'd appreciate it if he simply asked if I could leave the room so he could watch something, instead of acting like I was making a huge deal out of nothing. He even convinced our son I was being unreasonable too, which hurt even more. I stayed calm the entire time, but he still acted like it was my fault I was upset about it, and blame ld me entirely. After 24 years of marriage he still couldn't grasp that I didn't like waking up to intense hallucinations.
Narcissist= Sons of the Devil .
DEFLECTION...that is the word I would use to describe EVERY encounter with my ex-fiance. He constantly brought up his two ex-wives. Lol. Two exes should have been my FIRST red flag.
I threw mine out no more. I am free🎉
Surface relationship, confusion, stonewalling, will not work through conflict. Instead, they will turn and make it worse, pitting people against each other, cause conflict in our house, they would set up for reactive abuse, blame you for everything, make themselves look good and you the bad guy, and try to justify there actions or reasons to leave a marriage.....
Kris, you have helped me greatly. I have found that one missing piece to this massive jigsaw puzzle in my life❤
I struggled with my Godly journey and trying to fix this sick feeling I have had since I was a child.
T
My first awareness was God opening my eyes and mind up to the fact that it’s my Mother causing this sick feeling that had followed me into adulthood. I have since began the research and awareness.
You showed up on my channel for a reason ❤❤❤
Thank you for the prayer!! Powerful!!
Absolutely amazing and necessary content❤
To gain control, a narcissist follows: “ Divide & Rule “
There was a woman on his Twitter feed who was reacting a bit odd in her reactions to him. So I asked him while he was at work, "are you with this woman?" Meaning has he been in DM with her, sexting, etc. He said, "Are you kidding me right now!? I am so busy and you are bothering me with this crap!? I don't have time for this, where do you get this from!? I'm no tin DM with anyone, I'm at work!" etc. etc. Of course I backed down. Turns out weeks later, I found out he was in fact with this woman for 3 months, in DM with her, sexting, trading nude pics, at all times of the day, even at work. In fact even at the time I was asking this question they were sexting in DM. Before this I had asked him if he was involved with her and he laughed saying "seriously? You're nuts! I don't know how you come up with this stuff." 😒
Covert and controlling, is these characteristics, having two lions, circling the prey, to devour their prey when ready to leap. Using that prey, for finding some attack to protect the persona of being, this superior being looking through a perspective of falsehood and deceptive tactics. Wow real special people no love not even for their mom just the identical person sharing the narcisstic personality disorder character
Narcissists are entitled. Yes they disorient you.
The law says we have civil rights, freedom to equal opportunity and against discrimination, yet people continue to take it upon themselves to discriminate and hate others.
Sobering words: “They don’t want to get it.”
Beware of the covert narcissist who pretend to be a massive Christian. You will believe that this person is pure and amazing! You will think they would never do any of these things to you. My ex covert narc gf literally did all of these things that you taught us in this video. I was so crushed by the things she did to me because I thought she wasn’t capable of doing these things because she claimed to be such a massive Christian. After finding her cheating on me, then gaslighting me for finding it, spewing narcissistic rage, guilt tripping me, and claiming to be the victim by crying and manipulating me. Then totally discarding me like our 2 1/2 year relationship never even happened. I’m in total shock that people like this exist and also claim to be a Christian. I’m now skeptical of trusting when someone tells me they’re a christian. Which is sad but true.
This is what it's like every time I talk to my wife.