I am almost 60 years old. I have always been a people pleaser and always seem to be a magnet for manipulators, narcissists, and toxic people. Obviously, it is long overdue for me to set boundaries, guard my heart, and realize that it is ok to say, "no"!
I just turned 75 and recognized three toxic relationships in my life and ended two of them and just told a younger sister that I'm taking "time out" and will pray for her. She completely drains me with her drama and poor me attitude and since this has been going on for decades and I've done a LOT of healing in the past 2 years and have gotten discernment by God's grace but was at a loss of how to handle the situation I'm the oldest of 4 & was "the little mother" since age of 5...completely codependent in every way. You have helped me so much Kris!!!! I just want to say to the commenter, SIXTY IS A GREAT PLACE TO BE!!! That's when my journey of healing and learning my part and what to do differently next time. This was a fantastic video because I saw what I do and feel to attract these types of people. Now that I know I can pray with God's help not to have that vulnerability. More healing...
Same with me.I stopped caring ,and spend more time on my own with God Galatians 1:10.helped me I am going to post it all over the house...Good love to dear friend.
Jeff, I’m 66 and was a single Dad. Son’s mother ran off 25 years ago and really warped my prodigal son’s mind to the point that he married a girl just like dear old mom. Had to cut him off and they retaliated by not allowing me to even see a picture of my grandson for over 2 years now. Set your boundaries and follow God. It’s better that they go to Hell without you. Put God first and let God deal with the manipulation and you move on to serve and glorify God. Listen to the doc
@charlestew8792 I have 2 kids in my life. Not by blood, but by divine appointment and providence. I love them as my own, with my whole heart. They unfortunately are currently part of the problem. Letting them go and my taking a smaller footprint in their lives is a must at this time. Thank you for responding and sharing your story. I included you in my morning prayers this morning. God bless you, brother!
@@ArleneBrant I have really enjoyed my morning time alone with God each morning. I wake up around 1:30-2:00 am and spend time in the word and a lot of time in prayer. It has been liberating these past 9 months. God bless you!!
Exact. My NPD EHusband told me one day, you have been very happy lately, I said yes.. He responded.. really.. ok.. but in a way as I am going to deal with that happiness to make it go away, don't worry! Terrible.
3 siblings won’t help take care of our mother... who has dementia…in fact I am married and raising a granddaughter since she was a baby. 14 now..I’ve moved in with my mom years now had to leave my home can only go home about 8 or less hours a month. Can’t see my grown children or my 5 grandchildren and have missed out on all kinds of things. It’s unreal what my siblings use for excuses. Live in the same town! My dad died in 2015 and I worked full time and raising my granddaughter. Retired a little earlier. You know what they said, well mom helped you! Like she didn’t help them. They just say sorry! I have so much resentment. I love and care about their lives I want the best of happiness for them but I am really looking forward to boundaries and I want to walk away really. It really messes me up. I am a Christian. I sure am struggling emotionally and physically and my husband and I take care of my mom financially. Help me?
3 siblings won’t help take care of our mother... who has dementia…in fact I am married and raising a granddaughter since she was a baby. 14 now..I’ve moved in with my mom years now had to leave my home can only go home about 8 or less hours a month. Can’t see my grown children or my 5 grandchildren and have missed out on all kinds of things. It’s unreal what my siblings use for excuses. Live in the same town! My dad died in 2015 and I worked full time and raising my granddaughter. Retired a little earlier. You know what they said, well mom helped you! Like she didn’t help them. They just say sorry! I have so much resentment. I love and care about their lives I want the best of happiness for them but I am really looking forward to boundaries and I want to walk away really. It really messes me up. I am a Christian. I sure am struggling emotionally and physically and my husband and I take care of my mom financially. ?Help me???
Dear father, thank you for leading me to this woman this morning. I asked you a few minutes ago to help me with this situation and here I am! You never fail me.
Well, for chidren that's a phase, growing up. They need you to be "the bigger person", literally. They need strong grown-ups to overcome the narc-phase and develop empathy. That's called parenting. Knowing that not many people "parent" anymore. 😊
Ill never forget when a family member asked me to baby sit during my cancer, I said one word "No!" They looked at me with shock, for the first time I put "me first." I gave no explanition! Never did that person take me for granted again! Bible was right! Let your Yes mean Yes & your No mean No! 😊
By your stripes Lord Jesus, heal my co-dependency. Help me to not be dependent on the feelings and reactions of others. I do not need to please people, but only you Lord.
Yeah well that wasn’t my mother, or brother, or ex-husband, who all turned my kids and their families against me…..they have no remorse, or feelings whatsoever….they look at me with evil delight every time they see me like they’re so proud of themselves for hurting me….even at my mothers funeral two weeks ago…and she even badmouthed me in a letter written to be read at her graveside in front of everyone…she literally badmouthed me to her graveside…..there no remorse in these people….. I’m happy to be by myself, I worship God and God alone, and very very selective of who I let close to me….i stand my ground more than ever….I’m worth more to God than any person on earth and I only want His Love and approval🙏🏻✝️❤️
Wow, I needed your comment. My sister in law has telling people lie and not to listen to me. I asked her what lies I was telling so I can not repeat lies. She blatantly denied what I was told. Not knowing how to handle the lie, I stated, oh, that means the person who told me this was telling me the untruth . She proceed to plan a birthday party for me. AWKWARD.
With toxic people whom you can't get away from,my first assignment is to identify them, minimize interactions, don't expect healthy conversation with them, pray for protection from God upon yourself and pray for Gods intervention upon them.
Thank you. Bless you. 36 years with a childish ..selfish person whom I am not afraid of anymore after the shock factor of his behavior.. For the first 30 yrs. I get it. Praying constantly. 🙏
I'm 57 ... 2 daughters (33 & 28).... they're both manipulative & I didn’t realize this until recently.... they both constantly mock my beliefs... herbal remedies, my learning to become an herbalist, my being a school bus driver 35 plus years, my beliefs in Christ.... thank you, I will concentrate on my walk with Christ & pray for my daughters 🙏
You have tremendously blessed me with bringing to light my co-dependency and my role as an empath to the toxic behavior from my covert narcissistic husband. I didn’t know what a narcissist was until just a few years ago. I am 62, married for 39 years and have been “blamed” by my husband for every failure in our marriage and also for the strained relationships I now have with my three adult daughters (even estranged from one for 13 years, along with her 3 children). My husband told me 3 weeks ago not to speak to him unless it was about finances. He has abandoned me emotionally and physically, staying outdoors in his shop for 8-12 hours a day. He has told me countless times that no one can stand being around me. I cannot have a conversation with him without deflection, projection and rejection. I am now wondering if my husband has been grooming my daughters over the years so that I would shoulder the blame as the toxic parent. The only hope I have left is my strong faith in Jesus, my Savior. My guilt, my regret, my anxiety, my failures, my anger, my insecurities, my low self-esteem - all of those burdens placed on me by Satan - are all evaporating with hearing and digesting the awesome revelations I have received through your ministry. I have learned how to begin to heal since listening to you, just over the last month. I know my worth as a daughter of the King, my true bridegroom and my perfect Savior, rescuing me from disappointment, depression and despair. I cannot express my appreciation to you and for you. I have little to give back, but my prayers for your blessing and my thankfulness to the Lord for you is and will always be lifted up to Him, to His throne of grace. The Lord bless you and keep you always, in all ways. Thank you!
Thank you so much for sharing your heart Andi. I'm so sorry to hear of what you're enduring, but I pray that you stay close to the Throne of Grace to receive all that you need. May God bless you and keep you my friend.
Please get out Andi you are worth more, and you have a lot to offer get legal advice also some backup from women's aid your social services, but do it quietly do not give anything away to your husband or those who know him or even your children.
Perhaps, if you don't work outside the house, you can volunteer or work part time to make friends. My work friends are my refuge and ONE lady is in a similar situation so we talk. Since narcissist project everything, I would say HE is the one noone likes. I would be so busy that I wouldn't even want to talk to my husband. It's sad but that's what I do. I work, read, have animals, kids and friends...
Oh my goodness you story is almost identical to mine. I’m 62 too, and have been married to a narc for 42 years and have three adult daughters. My middle daughter sided with my husband but the other two see my side, but are still sad that we are going to get a divorce. But my husband use to stay in his shop all day too! He is now love bombing me to get me to stay. At least I’m not the only one who stayed with someone who always put him self first for so long. If feel like the truth always comes out in Gods timing.
Thank you for sharing, I'm 62 and grew up in a house with a narcissistic father. I didn't know what was happening until this year. My brother has taken up the mental for Satan since my parents are gone.
People pleasing, over explaining, freezing in the face of abuse, all of these and more I have struggled with throughout my life. Your words are so validating. The pure Gold of wisdom
Your very articulate in your descriptions of response to the narcissist manipulation. I have the same responses, thank you for such a helpful comment ❤
Yes! We as Christians need to find christian therapists/counselors that can rightly divide the word of truth with psychology based of Gods way of healing are mind by his word and spirit!
My older sister is constantly quoting the bible and projecting this image of being a completely devote follower of God to the public eye. However her actions are the most manipulative, godless manifestations of evil and greed. The most recent manifestation of her behavior was when she left my mother in a convalescent home while she attempted to pursue a lawsuit against it, my mothers health declined rapidly. I was able to bring my mom home with me, it's really hard to care for her, but her health has improved as has her quality of life. The point I am making, is that my sister's behavior and hypocritical behavior has made me skeptical of religion even though I know many genuine followers of Christianity. I feel fortunate to have found this channel and your content is really resonating with me. Thank you.
Jubilate! Same with me, I had to deconstruct what I believed and keep away from church for some time. But I never kept away from prayer, enjoying the words of the bible, feeling that Jesus is my brother and always with me. For a very long time, I had the feeling, that I first have to get better, before I can connect again. There is SO much manipulation and hirarchy and judgement in church. We need to overcome this, find brother- and sisterhood, to heal and to be the true body of Christ again. ❤️🩹 I hope you can connect to many of us, through this beautiful ministries, be blessed and recover! Love to you 😊❤
@asshatslovejohnnydeppjohnn8377Jesus said “I am the way, the truth and the life; no-one comes to God except through Me (John 14:6). Jesus wants you to to cast all your cares on Him because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). Only by repenting of sin and trusting in Jesus to guide your life are you spiritually safe for all eternity. I encourage you to prayerfully read The Holy Bible.
??? I'm so thankful to God for the night I stumbled on Kris and her teaching. I have a very manipulative father, who is also a narcissist..I am learning about boundaries and that I am a co dependent person, who needs God's healing. Thank you
The way these narcissists hijack conversations has DEFINITELY happened to me more than once - SOOOO frustrating! You're right - they ABSOLUTELY will not allow you speak for fear that you'll show individuality
You could ask them point blank….”why don’t you allow me to speak ?” Another tactic would be to deliberately just quietly in the middle of a “lecture” just get up and walk away. When they ask why you do that then tell them you like two way conversations instead of lectures. Another option would be “push those people out of your life”. If you can’t do that then spend far less time around them. Some people are extremely frustrating and I understand what you are saying….it’s like a “social disease” on their part”. A pandemic of social ignorance or stupidity.
Or they go into accusations that you’re hateful etc, my husband tells his family when I say no to yet another ‘family party’ that it’s because I don’t like them , nothing could be farther from the truth but he’s triangulating
@@raccoondon488ya I ask my husband before I respond’are you talking to me or at me?’ Because I need not expend my words to respond when he’s talking at me which is almost constantly
Every conversation seems like a competition for speaking time (aka power over the moment). When other people are in the room, you wonder what they could be thinking while witnessing it.
They even flip into RAGE if you try to show them how they are wrong in any way. Anything to shut you up and take eyes off them. It makes me sick to my stomach living with a manipulative person still even tho I know they are toxic. I'm glad to have inspiration to move on so thank you.
I only want peace in my home. My health is so compromised that I am afraid of my heart failing. Ive already had 2 heart attacks and multiple procedures but it doesn’t make a bit of difference. Bipolar and narcissism his disease along with alcoholic addictions. I just want him to leave. Im tired of trying to be “supportive”. It’s making me frustrated and unable to think clearly.
This is Theo. You are renewing my mind Ms. Reece. My dad was a And very toxic. My mom wss codependent. I'm a empath. I was never tought how to set healthy boundaries and self worth. I really enjoy and needed you videos. It also brings me closer to Christ. I've prayed and prayed for God to give me this information and than one of your videos popped up and I've been learning from you ever since. Please you have a gift and there's many more young adults and kid's that need to know this information. It should be tought in school.
Not everyone who is being manipulated (or abused) is a codependent or people-pleaser. We may just be in a very vulnerable situation we do not have the means to escape from.
@@jon8230Christians are to obey God's word period, and if we are married the only out is if there is infidelity (or if physical abuse a separation needs to happen for safety reasons). The Bible doesn't say divorce if your husband is mean and manipulative, it says even if they don't obey the word by a wife's conduct she can win him over, that is the hope. However, it is also a matter of sanctification. That difficult marriage mirrors Jacob and Leah or Abigail and Nabal, we have an example of how God deals on our behalf. He may deliver us like in Abigail's case or we simply remain in it but our suffering leads to greater dependence on God rather than that man like in the case of Leah or Hannah. This information is useful because we can understand the thinking of such a manipulative person and we can train ourselves to think and respond appropriately.
Thank you putting your focus on godly truth and on your viewers and what we can do improve ourselves. Many channels focus on the narcissist and their traits and blah blah blah… I’m done putting the focus on the narcissistic.
For the past two weeks, I’ve been writing and putting Galatians 1:10 in my journal and memorizing it in my heart. It’s no mistake that I’ve been directed to these videos. “What others think of me, is none of my business” - anonymous quote
Mine not only outright lied, but he also enjoyed using omission to just not say a thing. I made decisions based on lack-o-information that was never provided and should have been provided. His belief is if he didn't say anything, he didn't lie.
“Are you my mother?” was so sad to me as a kid, because I felt like that little bird. Even though I had a mother, something very essential was missing in that relationship.
Me too. I specifically being about four years old and sitting on my bed and crying, thinking “why don’t I have a mother”? A REAL Mother that loved me, would let me sit in her lap and read a book to me, would who ask me a question just to see what the answer would be, who would hug me or show affection. I knew as early as that , that this was not normal. The first time my Mother ever hugged me was when I got married. Of course all my other relatives were hugging me after the wedding as I was about to leave with my new Husband. She came to hug me for the first time. I was so shocked I couldn’t hug her back. It felt awkward and wrong. Been married for over 35 years now, and she has never initiated a hug from me since. It’s ok now. I have grown children who I hugged Every Single Day. I became the Mother that I needed. 👏🏼🙌💕💖😃. I had to break that chain. And I did.🥰
The narcissist, I know and have not been around for a year used to say everything she wanted to say in the conversation then, when it was my turn, would either hang up the phone say she can’t talk or say this makes no sense. Later on, I realized, and I told her I’m gonna listen to what you say, but I’m not gonna speak because every time you say what you want to then you interrupt me or you hang up the phone it’s not a dialogue it’s a monologue. I was respectful because she’s my elder, but I felt good to tell her in a respectful way that I was not gonna tolerate it. Now I have gotten no contact with her for over a year, at first it was hard, but I feel good not being around her that I’m not hurt. But I’ve I said it to myself from the entire family because she’s the center of the family.please pray for me, thanks for your awesome videos
I had no idea i was codependent 😢. Now i see how my alcoholic husband is a manipulator. I am sitting here with my jaw to the floor...Thank you Holy Spirit for leading me to this wonderful lady. Thank you, Kris. You have opened my eyes. Now i just have to work on not being manipulated. The LORD is definitely working on me. Thank you Jesus
36 years. God slowly showed me how to set boundaries. How to not care what he does or say. I never thought he was a narcissist. I just knew that he lives in a world of one and cannot love anyone else.
THE LORD is everything to me....He helps us out of these difficult situations....The narcissist makes you physically sick....We must distance ourselves from them.😊
I want to say Thank You for this message. My Heavenly Father knew I needed this. I have been dealing with this for many years.I am so thankful I stumbled across your website. What a breath of fresh air. I feel now there is hope! May God continue to bless you. 🙌
This is just the beginning.. 😑 Tread lightly. They don't think like we do. Have your boundaries and consequences but don't speak to them about this new revelation. Have your plan and keep it to yourself. Prayer and diligence. Stay in peace and love 💕
As a Christian Psychologist, can I just say a huge THANK YOU! I've been struggling with balancing the two in my life and career, feeling like somehow being vocal about my beliefs may '"undermine" my professional qualifications. It's so good to watch you demonstrate how to be both!
My Christian husband is a kind manipulator. When I call him out, he laughs 🙄 Lord, help ME not to be a manipulator. Help me to overcome my codependency. Amen
You are such a blessing! You have put language to the chaos and brought clarity and order! Can’t deal w these demons without God in our midst. We must walk in humility and truth.
The frog in the pot of water that gradually boils is the issue I have. I get hypnotized into inaction, and by then it's too late. They got under my skin. They got me in a good mood and tricked me....etc. For that matter I have never experienced god having any vengeance on anyone that harmed me. They always seem to be rewarded.
You are such a gift for me today! I am a Christian woman with four children; and have been married 34 years. We were separated twice and still on this roller coaster. I recently read The Excellent Wife and is has been a saving grace in helping me deal and keep peace in my marriage. I have listened to several of your videos this morning and you are helping me in my recent circumstance.
You described every time I have a conversation with my husband and he’s far worse after a couple beers, my saving grace is I’m more intelligent and can see it I definitely feel used and manipulated, he plays innocent a lot
Tricky words...NWO is RUclips, FB, INSTAGRAM, TIK TOK, PATRION.. SUBSCRIBERS ARE UNDER CONTROL OF THE WITCHES. All you need is the Holy Spirit and kjv Holy Bible, NOT RUclipsRS who are flashing hand signals and asking us to "like and subscribe." Jesus said "follow me.' Please don't put RUclipsRS before Christ, no matter how much they sound right. "BUY MY STUFF" is LOVE OF MONEY SORCERERS OF REVELATION OF JESUS CHRIST. WITCHCRAFT MOVES: 1. Subtle Hand signals (Genesis 3 serpent) 2, Hit the "like and subscribe button" 3. Buy something or support my channel 4. A little truth with Lies to manipulate your to follow them instead of Jesus 5. Supporting other serpent's channels
This is awesome information! I’m learning how to say NO to a christian covert manipulator who has ignored my boundaries over and over. I’ve been direct and less direct. It’s been difficult, as she has alot of oppression and my heart goes out to her, but her emotional manipulation has run its course...I’m too exhausted. Holy Spirit told me to stop making excuses for her, it’s just enabling her. I don’t need to please others.
Yeah, when I was people pleasing, I felt like a dog :( It sucked. I decided whatever I'm doing I'm going to admit to the Lord first. Anyone else can have their opinion of me. It freed me from those bonds of expectations.
It is so deep and long process of healing and dealing with narcisstic personalities. And you Kris are helping to see the patterns, in others and myself. I can be healed, I find from what to repent, I feel stronger, and more and more free. Be blessed. Thanks be to Jesus for this tool.
My husband is very controlling. His manipulation escalated within less than 2 months from when we got married into literally so controlling that i had to call the police. Before the wedding, it was so subtle that i did not realise what was happening. But my emotions were so disregulated and were trying to warn me. I always felt like i needed time to myself, yet i could never seem to get it. Now i know that if I'd had the space from him to think straight then i would have been able to see what was happening. Your descriptions are spot on! And boundaries are so important. Thank you ❤
@@AkaniMakhubila im so sorry you are going through that. Please consider that, if he won't do the work getting himself sort out, you may need to leave. Don't make my mistake and marry someone who doesn't treat you right 🙏 please!
Yes, I did that and got fired from my job that I worked in for almost 5 years. And I see now that I am too nice to people. And I got stuck again with a person who took my kindness for their benefit. I am again without a job but I did say no that’s day and this video did encourage me to trust the Lord and stop being so nice to people. Thanks for your advice 🙏🏻👍
46:00 huh, near the end of my marriage, I would explain my feelings and I would say “I feel…” then the argument became that I was accusing him of making me feel upset and I didn’t say that. He only heard what he wanted to hear. And that showed me that our marriage was fine as long as I didn’t share my feelings. Even my good feelings were used against me.
People-pleasing is somewhat egotistical, like other selfish behaviors. When we let others repeatedly look to us to help them with their problems, we risk putting ourselves in the place of God. We try to prove we are good through our actions more than through our faith. It’s best to stay out of God’s chair as much as we can.
Wow! So much explained and now makes sense. I'm not crazy after all. Thank you for your Biblical response to this toxic, awful behavior. It's been almost 30 years of pain and suffering. It's time now to be set free!! God is good 😭🙏❤
The interruptions drives you crazy! 3 words in u get interrupted over and over again, these goes on for HOURS on end, if you try to defy theme,its torture to never be able to say anything so they wont rage or silent treat you. The narcissist breaks down youre health totally,the immune health system breaks Down, and also the heart and breathing suffers, until you are finally to weak to leave the nightmare of narcissistic abuse. Why the good Lord allows this evil to destroy the lives of so many i dont understand
Amen 🙏🏼 I wish I could have listened to this 50 years ago!! It could have saved me a lot of heartaches and me feeling like I’ve gone completely crazy!! The way you described codependent helped me see it and understand it completely different from what I thought it meant! There are several narcissist people in my family and I’ve spent my life seeking approval that I never got and my children seen this and my youngest daughter learned at an early age to beat me down and keep me chasing my tail to get what she wanted and the family would reward her. What a monster she’s became and I’ve been feeling sorry for her thinking if I could only help her see thing’s. I see things now. I’m so done with all these crazy behaviors and I’m not a bad mom for saying no more!! Thank you for opening my eyes and my heart
I've been mobbed and gaslighting at work for over 12 years till present. Full of NPD cowards at work and will end up exposing themselves.. I'm a top worker, jealous of me big time and of my money and condo too. Defamation of character. Saying I'm a stalker, I drink, I'm crazy. All bs. Managers are scared of the bullies, they do nothing, union, police are all totally useless too. Toxic workplace in healthcare. Been working 38 years and never been suspended. Action speaks louder than words. But this crap never ends trying to scare the women at work, all the insecure and toxic women. I will never quit due to these lazy bums with no life. These 2 guys should be locked up and have the manager fired.
My parents taught me nothing. Nothing about how to live. I am 54 and still learning basic skills of life. They destroyed my self esteem so everything in life was difficult. I will NOT ALLOW them to destroy me. !!
I can relate. My parents never taught me me life skills… heck they almost never even ALLOWED ME TO LEARN life skills as a child, under the banner of “oh no no you just focus on your studies and we will carry you on a tray so you don’t have to worry about other things”. Mollycoddling basically. I guess they have proper intentions but are just so blissfully ignorant about these other things
It's important to include that the underlying drive of codependency is controlling others' behavior to maintain a facade of having it all together. Codependents can be manipulative too. They're not always the victims we make them.
I can't tell you how much your podcasts have helped us deal with our toxic maniputlative son. It is an answer to prayer that we have found your podcasts!! Thank you so much !
The “are you my mother” book. He fell out of the nest and didn’t know who he was, so he thought the bus, the forklift etc. trying to find his mother. Sweet kids book.yet a parable.
Thank you so much Kris for always speaking to such a difficult topic in a biblical and balanced way that still acknowledges how ugly this can be in real life. It is hard to find people who can speak so clearly and be led by God in this area. Really appreciate you and your ministry.
My sister use to tell me all the time no one likes you and even my own daughter can’t stand u I finally found out about her narcissism and see it all so clearly now
I am guarding my heart. I’m doing just like the word tells me to do. I believe that some people will take your kindness as form of weakness. I’m not a weak woman. But the joy of the Lord is my strength. Nehemiah 8:16
Hi i can resonate with all your stories mine was 20 years. I left last january and things just fell into place for me just trust in the process. Found out after i left him how much no one else had liked him. I got a flat and got a goid job even though im not trained in anything. Id told him i didnt want to sell the house knowing he would. He put it on the market without telling me so i didnt let him know i was leaving. He rang me up at 11 pm to say what time you coming back i said im not. Id got my stuff out bit by bit. Ive never been happier i just love tge peace and love living my own life how i want it not living his life anymore. Just leave them and trust the process yo work out. I wish you all the best go and live your own life instead of theirs.
24:5 that’s what discernment will do. I had this feeling of uneasiness with someone close to me in my family two weeks ago. I felt this so strong. I’m glad the Holy Spirit led me to turn down an invite to be around people who are not safe to be around mentally and emotionally. Thank you Jesus
The manipulator I live with uts me off EVERY time I speak umless Im feeding their ego or benefiting them in some way...then ac cuses me of never letting them finish. I point this out, when it occurs and they deny it. Its pretty unbelievable.
I know a woman I grew up with where her parents/ mother had weeks of silent treatment and now in her relationship with her husband she does the same. When I talked to her about this tactic vs. speaking truth with her husband she said it was normal. I of course responded it is not normal. Just another form of generational abuse which her now grown up daughter suffered through during her childhood.
I'm giving the 'silent treatment' to my narc husband. I've tried reasoning with him, but he always lies his way out. I've realized, through this ministry, there's no point in reasoning with him. He doesn't care. I've only realized this two weeks ago though, which is when I've started the silent treatment. I know I am a child of Yahweh. I know He's got my back. Let's see what He has on store for me. This ministry is teaching me. I know Yahweh led me here
I think how we overcome co-dependency is to take full responsibility for ourself, for our actions and behavior, and for our feelings. If this person gives me a chilling feeling, it's not my responsibility to force them to change - it's my responsibility to distance myself and put up social protection layers until I feel safe. That feeling isn't a signal to control the other person or their behavior, it's a signal that I might require space.
My sentiments exactly. Good for you. You got out of harms way--mentally and physically. They can become violent and harm someone. The sad thing is that psychiatrists say the only peace one will have with a narcissist is to put distance between you and them. Narcissists will not stay in therapy. They feel they are right always.
Bless you sister in Christ ! It's like you were a fly on my wall ! I see everything you described. And that laziness is so true. To the point that they don't like to clean up after themselves.
Exactly- it won’t even lift a finger. The filth is something I’ve never seen in my life / laziness is an understatement- these people are ville I have to say
So neat how God always comes in at the nick of time to help me. Thank you for being God's instrument. I really needed this right now at this moment. If you only knew.. I know God does. I'm going through so much right now. I ask everyone to continue to pray for me. Thank you. Love you! Appreciate your message today. I just found you not by coincidence but by divine
The best way is not letting them know how their silent treatment hurts you. I once tried to communicate that I did not like this to a narc, but that didn't make her to stop, in fact, she intensified using to cause further friction in our relationship so as to control me. That time I didn't understand their games like I do now. Thanks so much, Minister Kris
Thanks so much for teaching me this. I ve been struggling to please him and do only what he wants and desires... Even against what God wishes many times😢
Yes I believe a witch put a demon into my ex when she molested him at 10 years old. I tried to help him and the demon in him almost destroyed me. Only God can help him and only if he is willing to let God in. I didn't honor God by letting a demon into my life.
I’m so thankful that this is being talked about for what it is, a Christian perspective. Co dependency is so often framed as Uber spiritual and what it actually is, is an idol. Thank you.
Amen . Thank you !! I’m 5 years free of my narcissistic ex husband . He trampled on my pearls I finally got my life back . God is good and loves us . I actually feel sorry for him . Crazy huh ? He needs the Holy Spirit because I feel his destiny bleak.
My personal experience with the narcissist concerning "I feel ______ when YOU say/do ______" is their reply being "You should not feel that way", and they tell others that I have a problem and cannot tolerate others if they do not say/act in the way I want them to. It is a complete reversal. You can play around with the verbage all you want to but for me these people are not worth anything more than my yes or no and "because I don't want to". That's it.
❤ Thank you my Sister. You are doing a great job connecting the world to the word of God in a very clear way! God richly bless you & your work! We celebrate you! All glory to God.❤
Just left a thirteen year relationship that was EXACTLY what you spoke of! God spoke to me today through you and I am so thankful! I just happened to stumble across this video, and I have now subscribed and look forward to learning so much from you. Bless you!
THANK YOU for your ministry. I am recovering from a long 7 yr situation of 2 people coming into my husband and my life and just about destroying a 35 yr marriage. God has opened my eyes to our weaknesses and the tactics of these manipulative people. After a complete deviation in finances and a ruined reputation, the Lord helped me to see (in hindsight) the warning signs. This video sums up, in a nutshell, the 7 yrs I learned... the hardest hurdle to overcome was learning that "I am not a BAD person because I say NO!" The good news is God restores what the locus and cankerworm eateth... Blessings
The same thing happened to me and ended horrifically ! I am in my 9th year recovering from that life changing experience. NOW...I am very careful who I allow into my life and into my house. To be truthful I am openly mean to people I suspect are up to evil, especially gossip. If manipulators come close I let them know in a very frank way- "stay the hell away from me."
You're so right! I saw this pattern with our family narc, and then saw it in the workplace. If bullying didn't work (due to boundaries), then they would resort to tears. If tears didn't work, then they would make it about money. If that didn't work, then the smear campaign and triangulation were enforced. I finally distanced myself from the family narc, but over a decade later, I needed a legal document from her. The day she would have received my polite letter (via a mail forwarding service), I received an email from someone saying they were my long-lost half-brother. However, this "half-brother" (who used an encrypted email service) proceeded to reinforce everything the narc had ever said. It turns out my daughter, who had started behaving like the narc over the past decade, and who was now irritated with me because I set some boundaries, had reconnected with the narc and given her my email address. Meanwhile the narc refused to send the document I needed. So, you're right. If one manipulation doesn't work, they'll keep trying new ways to manipulate and control. Thank you so much for your channel!
You covered all the situations n how to respond in a healthy Godly way leaving us guilt free; with power n hope for a better life; regardless of the toxic person. God Bless you. ❤
As a survivor of an emotionally abusive mother (almost worse than physical abuse IMO), this video was very informative. Thank you so much. And God bless you.
I had a manipulative narc mother too. At home, she was a sneaky control freak or if angered became a monster. In public she acted like the "wonderful woman". I was treated like a king at home; Rodney King!!!!!!
OH MY GOODNESS 😢where was this awesome woman years ago.?? 🤦🏻♀️ Oh how I wish I could make people hear and understand what she is saying and truly believe and HEED the WARNING. I swear it would save so much hurt not only for yourself but those you love. get dragged along as well.
Dear Kris you are On Point ! I am adding You dear Lady to my List of Favorites Right up there with Dr. Ramani Darvarsula, Dr. Carter "free to me " series. Thank You for Saving Lives and Sanity ! Speaking Truth to Power Always . Knowledge Leads to FREEDOM !
Good video. Thank you. Context: I give effective communication and negotiation training for a living. Some people use silence as a means of manipulating. They pull away with an avoiding conflict management style, but then use unspoken emotional tensions within the atmosphere as a means to emotionally manipulate their targets, especially if the target is verbally expressive. Other than that, thank you for mentioning the 'dark side' of manipulation awareness training. We ALL can be vulnerable to become manipulators and that should help us have grace when confronting people who consistently manipulate others.
Kris. Thank you for this uplifting message, and for your personal response to my question. I obtained wisdom with understanding from this livestream, and I saw much the moment you mentioned how it’s not my job to get people to change. Instead, it’s my job to guard my heart. Like you said, my response is my responsibility. I’ve been fooled a lot and been resentful for a long time. I need to get back on the driver’s seat, being led by the Holy Spirit. I pray that I don’t focus on the title but the fruit of the tree. Much appreciated, Kris. Spectacular video - certainly watching it again!!! Glory to God. 🕊⛲️
That is so true what you're saying. You are so on point. God has truly blessed you with the gift of clear communication and wisdom in this area. God bless you for sharing truth.
Wow this has described my situation exactly. I thought boundaries and limits were the solution. He became a stalker, and violated protective order then broke into my house when I was away, beat me left bruise took one month to heal.All because I said ,no. ...I don't want to be with you. He is in jail now. This is a man who appeared very helpful in our area. Connected to many people in the area. Always seemed friendly and kind.
![Eminem - Fuel (feat. JID) [Official Lyric Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/t5H_CewqpKA/mqdefault.jpg)
I am almost 60 years old. I have always been a people pleaser and always seem to be a magnet for manipulators, narcissists, and toxic people. Obviously, it is long overdue for me to set boundaries, guard my heart, and realize that it is ok to say, "no"!
I just turned 75 and recognized three toxic relationships in my life and ended two of them and just told a younger sister that I'm taking "time out" and will pray for her. She completely drains me with her drama and poor me attitude and since this has been going on for decades and I've done a LOT of healing in the past 2 years and have gotten discernment by God's grace but was at a loss of how to handle the situation I'm the oldest of 4 & was "the little mother" since age of 5...completely codependent in every way.
You have helped me so much Kris!!!!
I just want to say to the commenter, SIXTY IS A GREAT PLACE TO BE!!! That's when my journey of healing and learning my part and what to do differently next time.
This was a fantastic video because I saw what I do and feel to attract these types of people. Now that I know I can pray with God's help not to have that vulnerability. More healing...
Same with me.I stopped caring ,and spend more time on my own with God Galatians 1:10.helped me I am going to post it all over the house...Good love to dear friend.
Jeff, I’m 66 and was a single Dad. Son’s mother ran off 25 years ago and really warped my prodigal son’s mind to the point that he married a girl just like dear old mom. Had to cut him off and they retaliated by not allowing me to even see a picture of my grandson for over 2 years now. Set your boundaries and follow God. It’s better that they go to Hell without you. Put God first and let God deal with the manipulation and you move on to serve and glorify God. Listen to the doc
@charlestew8792 I have 2 kids in my life. Not by blood, but by divine appointment and providence. I love them as my own, with my whole heart. They unfortunately are currently part of the problem. Letting them go and my taking a smaller footprint in their lives is a must at this time.
Thank you for responding and sharing your story.
I included you in my morning prayers this morning. God bless you, brother!
@@ArleneBrant I have really enjoyed my morning time alone with God each morning. I wake up around 1:30-2:00 am and spend time in the word and a lot of time in prayer. It has been liberating these past 9 months. God bless you!!
When you tell a narcissist how you ‘feel’ they just gaslight you that you’re ridiculous.
Yes yes yes!!!! 😢
Exact. My NPD EHusband told me one day, you have been very happy lately, I said yes.. He responded.. really.. ok.. but in a way as I am going to deal with that happiness to make it go away, don't worry! Terrible.
so true
3 siblings won’t help take care of our mother... who has dementia…in fact I am married and raising a granddaughter since she was a baby. 14 now..I’ve moved in with my mom years now had to leave my home can only go home about 8 or less hours a month. Can’t see my grown children or my 5 grandchildren and have missed out on all kinds of things. It’s unreal what my siblings use for excuses. Live in the same town! My dad died in 2015 and I worked full time and raising my granddaughter. Retired a little earlier. You know what they said, well mom helped you! Like she didn’t help them. They just say sorry! I have so much resentment. I love and care about their lives I want the best of happiness for them but I am really looking forward to boundaries and I want to walk away really. It really messes me up. I am a Christian. I sure am struggling emotionally and physically and my husband and I take care of my mom financially. Help me?
3 siblings won’t help take care of our mother... who has dementia…in fact I am married and raising a granddaughter since she was a baby. 14 now..I’ve moved in with my mom years now had to leave my home can only go home about 8 or less hours a month. Can’t see my grown children or my 5 grandchildren and have missed out on all kinds of things. It’s unreal what my siblings use for excuses. Live in the same town! My dad died in 2015 and I worked full time and raising my granddaughter. Retired a little earlier. You know what they said, well mom helped you! Like she didn’t help them. They just say sorry! I have so much resentment. I love and care about their lives I want the best of happiness for them but I am really looking forward to boundaries and I want to walk away really. It really messes me up. I am a Christian. I sure am struggling emotionally and physically and my husband and I take care of my mom financially. ?Help me???
Dear father, thank you for leading me to this woman this morning. I asked you a few minutes ago to help me with this situation and here I am! You never fail me.
Ditto!
Gus bless you and give you wisdom
Amen same here glory to God
Thanks again for the wisdom
My pray to 🙏 it’s hard but just have to trust God at his word 🙏
Live-in children also manipulate. What shocked me is the truth of "they think all that you have is also theirs"
Well, for chidren that's a phase, growing up. They need you to be "the bigger person", literally. They need strong grown-ups to overcome the narc-phase and develop empathy. That's called parenting. Knowing that not many people "parent" anymore. 😊
"Their's is their's and yours is theirs too" that is exactly how narcs perceive life. Well said! That is how they disrespect your boundaries.
Ill never forget when a family member asked me to baby sit during my cancer, I said one word "No!" They looked at me with shock, for the first time I put "me first." I gave no explanition! Never did that person take me for granted again! Bible was right! Let your Yes mean Yes & your No mean No! 😊
Amen.
I'm really glad NO worked! Sometimes saying No, or asking for help may get you hit or verbally berrated. For Some, our NO is NO contact❤️👍🏼
By your stripes Lord Jesus, heal my co-dependency. Help me to not be dependent on the feelings and reactions of others. I do not need to please people, but only you Lord.
Thank you. Love these words.
❤🙏❤️
TRUTH!!!! 💪💪💪
Yes… me too, Lord!
Amen
Sinners change when sinning hurts. When hurting others, hurts. When they feel the kind of shame that leads them to genuine repentance.
Yeah well that wasn’t my mother, or brother, or ex-husband, who all turned my kids and their families against me…..they have no remorse, or feelings whatsoever….they look at me with evil delight every time they see me like they’re so proud of themselves for hurting me….even at my mothers funeral two weeks ago…and she even badmouthed me in a letter written to be read at her graveside in front of everyone…she literally badmouthed me to her graveside…..there no remorse in these people…..
I’m happy to be by myself, I worship God and God alone, and very very selective of who I let close to me….i stand my ground more than ever….I’m worth more to God than any person on earth and I only want His Love and approval🙏🏻✝️❤️
They’ll never be ready to discuss anything rationally and respectfully. Truth.
Wow, I needed your comment. My sister in law has telling people lie and not to listen to me. I asked her what lies I was telling so I can not repeat lies. She blatantly denied what I was told. Not knowing how to handle the lie, I stated, oh, that means the person who told me this was telling me the untruth . She proceed to plan a birthday party for me. AWKWARD.
With toxic people whom you can't get away from,my first assignment is to identify them, minimize interactions, don't expect healthy conversation with them, pray for protection from God upon yourself and pray for Gods intervention upon them.
thank you
Amen
Thank you. Bless you.
36 years with a childish ..selfish person whom I am not afraid of anymore after the shock factor of his behavior..
For the first 30 yrs.
I get it.
Praying constantly. 🙏
"Don't expect a healthy conversation" that's profound...
Thank you!
“That sweet little smile, that high pitched voice they use”.
That was my mother…
I'm 57 ... 2 daughters (33 & 28).... they're both manipulative & I didn’t realize this until recently.... they both constantly mock my beliefs... herbal remedies, my learning to become an herbalist, my being a school bus driver 35 plus years, my beliefs in Christ.... thank you, I will concentrate on my walk with Christ & pray for my daughters 🙏
@MsShawnDriver-ml7uw thank you 🙏
Amen
Amen
That's Hard
Don't feel obligated to give from You're heart yes especially when God puts it in you're heart
It's a little tricky dealing with manipulative landlords, to keep from being homeless until you find a new place,
🙏
or manipulative bosses
Get everything in writing
You have tremendously blessed me with bringing to light my co-dependency and my role as an empath to the toxic behavior from my covert narcissistic husband. I didn’t know what a narcissist was until just a few years ago. I am 62, married for 39 years and have been “blamed” by my husband for every failure in our marriage and also for the strained relationships I now have with my three adult daughters (even estranged from one for 13 years, along with her 3 children). My husband told me 3 weeks ago not to speak to him unless it was about finances. He has abandoned me emotionally and physically, staying outdoors in his shop for 8-12 hours a day. He has told me countless times that no one can stand being around me. I cannot have a conversation with him without deflection, projection and rejection. I am now wondering if my husband has been grooming my daughters over the years so that I would shoulder the blame as the toxic parent. The only hope I have left is my strong faith in Jesus, my Savior. My guilt, my regret, my anxiety, my failures, my anger, my insecurities, my low self-esteem - all of those burdens placed on me by Satan - are all evaporating with hearing and digesting the awesome revelations I have received through your ministry. I have learned how to begin to heal since listening to you, just over the last month. I know my worth as a daughter of the King, my true bridegroom and my perfect Savior, rescuing me from disappointment, depression and despair. I cannot express my appreciation to you and for you. I have little to give back, but my prayers for your blessing and my thankfulness to the Lord for you is and will always be lifted up to Him, to His throne of grace. The Lord bless you and keep you always, in all ways. Thank you!
Thank you so much for sharing your heart Andi. I'm so sorry to hear of what you're enduring, but I pray that you stay close to the Throne of Grace to receive all that you need. May God bless you and keep you my friend.
Please get out Andi you are worth more, and you have a lot to offer get legal advice
also some backup from women's aid your social services, but do it quietly do not give anything away to your husband or those who know him or even your children.
Perhaps, if you don't work outside the house, you can volunteer or work part time to make friends. My work friends are my refuge and ONE lady is in a similar situation so we talk. Since narcissist project everything, I would say HE is the one noone likes. I would be so busy that I wouldn't even want to talk to my husband. It's sad but that's what I do. I work, read, have animals, kids and friends...
Oh my goodness you story is almost identical to mine. I’m 62 too, and have been married to a narc for 42 years and have three adult daughters. My middle daughter sided with my husband but the other two see my side, but are still sad that we are going to get a divorce. But my husband use to stay in his shop all day too! He is now love bombing me to get me to stay. At least I’m not the only one who stayed with someone who always put him self first for so long. If feel like the truth always comes out in Gods timing.
Thank you for sharing, I'm 62 and grew up in a house with a narcissistic father. I didn't know what was happening until this year. My brother has taken up the mental for Satan since my parents are gone.
People pleasing, over explaining, freezing in the face of abuse, all of these and more I have struggled with throughout my life. Your words are so validating. The pure Gold of wisdom
I freeze in the face of abuse but I have never been able to explain it like you did.
Your very articulate in your descriptions of response to the narcissist manipulation.
I have the same responses, thank you for such a helpful comment ❤
I truly love how you combine faith and Psychology.. A BIG THANK YOU!!!
I agree . This Lady is really On Point , in a good way !
I agree ❤
Yes! We as Christians need to find christian therapists/counselors that can rightly divide the word of truth with psychology based of Gods way of healing are mind by his word and spirit!
Psychology is dealing with the soul, there shouldn't be a disconnect
My older sister is constantly quoting the bible and projecting this image of being a completely devote follower of God to the public eye. However her actions are the most manipulative, godless manifestations of evil and greed. The most recent manifestation of her behavior was when she left my mother in a convalescent home while she attempted to pursue a lawsuit against it, my mothers health declined rapidly. I was able to bring my mom home with me, it's really hard to care for her, but her health has improved as has her quality of life. The point I am making, is that my sister's behavior and hypocritical behavior has made me skeptical of religion even though I know many genuine followers of Christianity. I feel fortunate to have found this channel and your content is really resonating with me. Thank you.
Jubilate! Same with me, I had to deconstruct what I believed and keep away from church for some time. But I never kept away from prayer, enjoying the words of the bible, feeling that Jesus is my brother and always with me. For a very long time, I had the feeling, that I first have to get better, before I can connect again. There is SO much manipulation and hirarchy and judgement in church. We need to overcome this, find brother- and sisterhood, to heal and to be the true body of Christ again. ❤️🩹 I hope you can connect to many of us, through this beautiful ministries, be blessed and recover! Love to you 😊❤
"Your response is your responsibility"
Those are the wisest words I've heard in a long while.
Thanks for this information. Wow!
@asshatslovejohnnydeppjohnn8377Jesus said “I am the way, the truth and the life; no-one comes to God except through Me (John 14:6). Jesus wants you to to cast all your cares on Him because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). Only by repenting of sin and trusting in Jesus to guide your life are you spiritually safe for all eternity. I encourage you to prayerfully read The Holy Bible.
IE be very careful to avoid giving any demons fodder for their use against us.
I wrote that one down. I need to take responsibility and become aware to my own tendencies to use manipulation. Do unto others....
??? I'm so thankful to God for the night I stumbled on Kris and her teaching. I have a very manipulative father, who is also a narcissist..I am learning about boundaries and that I am a co dependent person, who needs God's healing. Thank you
"You need to accept responsibility that you're giving in." I keep repeating that so I can remember it. Good stuff. I can relate to all of it.
The way these narcissists hijack conversations has DEFINITELY happened to me more than once - SOOOO frustrating! You're right - they ABSOLUTELY will not allow you speak for fear that you'll show individuality
You could ask them point blank….”why don’t you allow me to speak ?” Another tactic would be to deliberately just quietly in the middle of a “lecture” just get up and walk away. When they ask why you do that then tell them you like two way conversations instead of lectures. Another option would be “push those people out of your life”. If you can’t do that then spend far less time around them. Some people are extremely frustrating and I understand what you are saying….it’s like a “social disease” on their part”. A pandemic of social ignorance or stupidity.
Or they go into accusations that you’re hateful etc, my husband tells his family when I say no to yet another ‘family party’ that it’s because I don’t like them , nothing could be farther from the truth but he’s triangulating
@@raccoondon488ya I ask my husband before I respond’are you talking to me or at me?’ Because I need not expend my words to respond when he’s talking at me which is almost constantly
Every conversation seems like a competition for speaking time (aka power over the moment). When other people are in the room, you wonder what they could be thinking while witnessing it.
@@tional5266at ,I saw❤😂
They even flip into RAGE if you try to show them how they are wrong in any way. Anything to shut you up and take eyes off them. It makes me sick to my stomach living with a manipulative person still even tho I know they are toxic. I'm glad to have inspiration to move on so thank you.
God opened the cage door so that I was able to leave, and I most gratefully did.
Same. They suck so damn much. Like im telling you what's wrong. But you don't care to change. I hate my manipulator.
I only want peace in my home. My health is so compromised that I am afraid of my heart failing. Ive already had 2 heart attacks and multiple procedures but it doesn’t make a bit of difference. Bipolar and narcissism his disease along with alcoholic addictions. I just want him to leave. Im tired of trying to be “supportive”. It’s making me frustrated and unable to think clearly.
Children in adult body
This is Theo. You are renewing my mind Ms. Reece. My dad was a And very toxic. My mom wss codependent. I'm a empath. I was never tought how to set healthy boundaries and self worth. I really enjoy and needed you videos. It also brings me closer to Christ. I've prayed and prayed for God to give me this information and than one of your videos popped up and I've been learning from you ever since. Please you have a gift and there's many more young adults and kid's that need to know this information. It should be tought in school.
Not everyone who is being manipulated (or abused) is a codependent or people-pleaser. We may just be in a very vulnerable situation we do not have the means to escape from.
you can always say Jesus save me out of this.
So Jesus put power in my legs and told me to keep walking.
You're absolutely right
Or you could try being accountable for yourself and not dependent on a man. That’s what all this is about anyways after all.
Ur absolutely right I have a severe illness I'm suffering from no family or friends ...I've always been independent
@@jon8230Christians are to obey God's word period, and if we are married the only out is if there is infidelity (or if physical abuse a separation needs to happen for safety reasons). The Bible doesn't say divorce if your husband is mean and manipulative, it says even if they don't obey the word by a wife's conduct she can win him over, that is the hope. However, it is also a matter of sanctification. That difficult marriage mirrors Jacob and Leah or Abigail and Nabal, we have an example of how God deals on our behalf. He may deliver us like in Abigail's case or we simply remain in it but our suffering leads to greater dependence on God rather than that man like in the case of Leah or Hannah. This information is useful because we can understand the thinking of such a manipulative person and we can train ourselves to think and respond appropriately.
Thank you putting your focus on godly truth and on your viewers and what we can do improve ourselves. Many channels focus on the narcissist and their traits and blah blah blah…
I’m done putting the focus on the narcissistic.
For the past two weeks, I’ve been writing and putting Galatians 1:10 in my journal and memorizing it in my heart.
It’s no mistake that I’ve been directed to these videos.
“What others think of me, is none of my business” - anonymous quote
Mine not only outright lied, but he also enjoyed using omission to just not say a thing. I made decisions based on lack-o-information that was never provided and should have been provided. His belief is if he didn't say anything, he didn't lie.
Amen…. Yes, my deceased covert narc (Christian) hubby did the same! Wouldn’t commit nor outright agree to do things. He would play with words.
Been there!
Never make a decision based on anything they say. Most of their info is skewed, they are deceived on almost every front!
“Are you my mother?” was so sad to me as a kid, because I felt like that little bird. Even though I had a mother, something very essential was missing in that relationship.
Me too. I specifically being about four years old and sitting on my bed and crying, thinking “why don’t I have a mother”? A REAL Mother that loved me, would let me sit in her lap and read a book to me, would who ask me a question just to see what the answer would be, who would hug me or show affection. I knew as early as that , that this was not normal. The first time my Mother ever hugged me was when I got married. Of course all my other relatives were hugging me after the wedding as I was about to leave with my new Husband. She came to hug me for the first time. I was so shocked I couldn’t hug her back. It felt awkward and wrong. Been married for over 35 years now, and she has never initiated a hug from me since. It’s ok now. I have grown children who I hugged Every Single Day. I became the Mother that I needed. 👏🏼🙌💕💖😃. I had to break that chain. And I did.🥰
@@julieanna8495 wow! Congratulations on breaking that chain.
@@julieanna8495
I know exactly what you mean about that book. 😔
Yes! She is my mom!!!!!☹️☹️☹️☹️
The narcissist, I know and have not been around for a year used to say everything she wanted to say in the conversation then, when it was my turn, would either hang up the phone say she can’t talk or say this makes no sense. Later on, I realized, and I told her I’m gonna listen to what you say, but I’m not gonna speak because every time you say what you want to then you interrupt me or you hang up the phone it’s not a dialogue it’s a monologue. I was respectful because she’s my elder, but I felt good to tell her in a respectful way that I was not gonna tolerate it. Now I have gotten no contact with her for over a year, at first it was hard, but I feel good not being around her that I’m not hurt. But I’ve I said it to myself from the entire family because she’s the center of the family.please pray for me, thanks for your awesome videos
I prayed to God to help you and support you
Oh boy, if uguys only knew . The Lords timing . He lovse this sinner . I bow my Lord!
I had no idea i was codependent 😢. Now i see how my alcoholic husband is a manipulator. I am sitting here with my jaw to the floor...Thank you Holy Spirit for leading me to this wonderful lady. Thank you, Kris. You have opened my eyes. Now i just have to work on not being manipulated. The LORD is definitely working on me. Thank you Jesus
Thank you! Time to dust my feet from evil covert narcisstic People choosing to follow Satan's path,flesh,ego over God's ways
36 years.
God slowly showed me how to set boundaries. How to not care what he does or say.
I never thought he was a narcissist.
I just knew that he lives in a world of one and cannot love anyone else.
THE LORD is everything to me....He helps us out of these difficult situations....The narcissist makes you physically sick....We must distance ourselves from them.😊
@@Shofargirl1you are so right !!!
I want to say Thank You for this message. My Heavenly Father knew I needed this. I have been dealing with this for many years.I am so thankful I stumbled across your website. What a breath of fresh air. I feel now there is hope! May God continue to bless you. 🙌
Same! I just discovered this podcast today and I also have been struggling with codependency! Thank you!!! I needed that prayer as well.
This is just the beginning.. 😑 Tread lightly. They don't think like we do. Have your boundaries and consequences but don't speak to them about this new revelation. Have your plan and keep it to yourself. Prayer and diligence. Stay in peace and love 💕
@@brendapearce8473 thank you 😊
God bless you.
Me too
As a Christian Psychologist, can I just say a huge THANK YOU! I've been struggling with balancing the two in my life and career, feeling like somehow being vocal about my beliefs may '"undermine" my professional qualifications. It's so good to watch you demonstrate how to be both!
My Christian husband is a kind manipulator. When I call him out, he laughs 🙄
Lord, help ME not to be a manipulator. Help me to overcome my codependency. Amen
Be more specific!
Wow when you said they use your weaknesses against you. I was like wow okay i know what you mean xyz.
You are such a blessing! You have put language to the chaos and brought clarity and order! Can’t deal w these demons without God in our midst. We must walk in humility and truth.
Great truth here
Thank you so much, the Lord is so using you as an instrument....You wll be BleSsed *
The frog in the pot of water that gradually boils is the issue I have. I get hypnotized into inaction, and by then it's too late. They got under my skin. They got me in a good mood and tricked me....etc. For that matter I have never experienced god having any vengeance on anyone that harmed me. They always seem to be rewarded.
You are such a gift for me today! I am a Christian woman with four children; and have been married 34 years. We were separated twice and still on this roller coaster. I recently read The Excellent Wife and is has been a saving grace in helping me deal and keep peace in my marriage. I have listened to several of your videos this morning and you are helping me in my recent circumstance.
You described every time I have a conversation with my husband and he’s far worse after a couple beers, my saving grace is I’m more intelligent and can see it I definitely feel used and manipulated, he plays innocent a lot
The direct yes and the direct no is something I am going to work on.
Tricky words...NWO is RUclips, FB, INSTAGRAM, TIK TOK, PATRION.. SUBSCRIBERS ARE UNDER CONTROL OF THE WITCHES.
All you need is the Holy Spirit and kjv Holy Bible, NOT RUclipsRS who are flashing hand signals and asking us to "like and subscribe." Jesus said "follow me.'
Please don't put RUclipsRS before Christ, no matter how much they sound right. "BUY MY STUFF" is LOVE OF MONEY SORCERERS OF REVELATION OF JESUS CHRIST.
WITCHCRAFT MOVES:
1. Subtle Hand signals (Genesis 3 serpent)
2, Hit the "like and subscribe button"
3. Buy something or support my channel
4. A little truth with Lies to manipulate your to follow them instead of Jesus
5. Supporting other serpent's channels
Amen
This is awesome information! I’m learning how to say NO to a christian covert manipulator who has ignored my boundaries over and over. I’ve been direct and less direct. It’s been difficult, as she has alot of oppression and my heart goes out to her, but her emotional manipulation has run its course...I’m too exhausted. Holy Spirit told me to stop making excuses for her, it’s just enabling her. I don’t need to please others.
They laugh at boundaries. No point, ignore them completely.
Christian narcissist is a contradiction of terms… one of those two words is invalid.
I like what she said about boundaries and you need to believe if you say no, they will find an easier mark
Yeah, when I was people pleasing, I felt like a dog :( It sucked. I decided whatever I'm doing I'm going to admit to the Lord first. Anyone else can have their opinion of me. It freed me from those bonds of expectations.
God did so much for everyone from creating everything such as the Earth, air, the trees and so on. God also provided us the freedom to choose.
It is so deep and long process of healing and dealing with narcisstic personalities. And you Kris are helping to see the patterns, in others and myself. I can be healed, I find from what to repent, I feel stronger, and more and more free. Be blessed. Thanks be to Jesus for this tool.
My husband is very controlling. His manipulation escalated within less than 2 months from when we got married into literally so controlling that i had to call the police.
Before the wedding, it was so subtle that i did not realise what was happening. But my emotions were so disregulated and were trying to warn me.
I always felt like i needed time to myself, yet i could never seem to get it. Now i know that if I'd had the space from him to think straight then i would have been able to see what was happening.
Your descriptions are spot on!
And boundaries are so important. Thank you ❤
I fill u
My boyfriend does the same thing
@@AkaniMakhubila im so sorry you are going through that.
Please consider that, if he won't do the work getting himself sort out, you may need to leave. Don't make my mistake and marry someone who doesn't treat you right 🙏 please!
Yes, I did that and got fired from my job that I worked in for almost 5 years. And I see now that I am too nice to people. And I got stuck again with a person who took my kindness for their benefit. I am again without a job but I did say no that’s day and this video did encourage me to trust the Lord and stop being so nice to people. Thanks for your advice 🙏🏻👍
I've been around a lot of manipulators. Some close to me. Learning is a slow process
46:00 huh, near the end of my marriage, I would explain my feelings and I would say “I feel…” then the argument became that I was accusing him of making me feel upset and I didn’t say that. He only heard what he wanted to hear.
And that showed me that our marriage was fine as long as I didn’t share my feelings. Even my good feelings were used against me.
Same! Take care, God bless
People-pleasing is somewhat egotistical, like other selfish behaviors.
When we let others repeatedly look to us to help them with their problems, we risk putting ourselves in the place of God.
We try to prove we are good through our actions more than through our faith.
It’s best to stay out of God’s chair as much as we can.
Wow! So much explained and now makes sense. I'm not crazy after all. Thank you for your Biblical response to this toxic, awful behavior. It's been almost 30 years of pain and suffering. It's time now to be set free!! God is good 😭🙏❤
Yes, this has happened to me. My manipulator interrupts me constantly and then throws a fit if I ever interject or interrupt.
Hope your not with him any longer.
The interruptions drives you crazy! 3 words in u get interrupted over and over again, these goes on for HOURS on end, if you try to defy theme,its torture to never be able to say anything so they wont rage or silent treat you. The narcissist breaks down youre health totally,the immune health system breaks Down, and also the heart and breathing suffers, until you are finally to weak to leave the nightmare of narcissistic abuse. Why the good Lord allows this evil to destroy the lives of so many i dont understand
Exit.
Me too
Me too
Amen 🙏🏼 I wish I could have listened to this 50 years ago!!
It could have saved me a lot of heartaches and me feeling like I’ve gone completely crazy!! The way you described codependent helped me see it and understand it completely different from what I thought it meant! There are several narcissist people in my family and I’ve spent my life seeking approval that I never got and my children seen this and my youngest daughter learned at an early age to beat me down and keep me chasing my tail to get what she wanted and the family would reward her.
What a monster she’s became and I’ve been feeling sorry for her thinking if I could only help her see thing’s. I see things now. I’m so done with all these crazy behaviors and I’m not a bad mom for saying no more!!
Thank you for opening my eyes and my heart
I've been mobbed and gaslighting at work for over 12 years till present. Full of NPD cowards at work and will end up exposing themselves.. I'm a top worker, jealous of me big time and of my money and condo too. Defamation of character. Saying I'm a stalker, I drink, I'm crazy. All bs. Managers are scared of the bullies, they do nothing, union, police are all totally useless too. Toxic workplace in healthcare. Been working 38 years and never been suspended. Action speaks louder than words. But this crap never ends trying to scare the women at work, all the insecure and toxic women. I will never quit due to these lazy bums with no life. These 2 guys should be locked up and have the manager fired.
I am 66 years old and finally learning something that could have saved me and my daughter so much pain
My parents taught me nothing. Nothing about how to live. I am 54 and still learning basic skills of life. They destroyed my self esteem so everything in life was difficult. I will NOT ALLOW them to destroy me. !!
My dear God is with you!
I can relate. My parents never taught me me life skills… heck they almost never even ALLOWED ME TO LEARN life skills as a child, under the banner of “oh no no you just focus on your studies and we will carry you on a tray so you don’t have to worry about other things”. Mollycoddling basically. I guess they have proper intentions but are just so blissfully ignorant about these other things
Thank you for your wise counsel and for including God & the Bible in your videos! Blessings to you for such great & needed info‼️
It's important to include that the underlying drive of codependency is controlling others' behavior to maintain a facade of having it all together. Codependents can be manipulative too. They're not always the victims we make them.
Forgot to add that I enjoyed this talk.
Oh, that is so true. Great point Sonya
Amen 🙏🏻 this is a great teaching I will save and listen to it again and again 🙏🏻
Thanks for this information.
This is exactly what I have been going through for over 3 years now. I AM SO VERY THANKFUL FOR YOU BEING A WATCH WOMAN ON THE WALL. GOD BLESS 🙏
I can’t mention my feelings to my husband because his response is that’s a feeling not a fact! This is every bit my husband!
I can't tell you how much your podcasts have helped us deal with our toxic maniputlative son. It is an answer to prayer that we have found your podcasts!! Thank you so much !
Narcissistic siblings.
I've been rumenating for months I couldn't focus on my bar exams and I couldn't sleep. Plus my father is having dementia
"Rebuke (towards the manipulator) is better than secret love"
The “are you my mother” book. He fell out of the nest and didn’t know who he was, so he thought the bus, the forklift etc. trying to find his mother. Sweet kids book.yet a parable.
Thank you so much Kris for always speaking to such a difficult topic in a biblical and balanced way that still acknowledges how ugly this can be in real life. It is hard to find people who can speak so clearly and be led by God in this area. Really appreciate you and your ministry.
Amen
Absolutely
My sister use to tell me all the time no one likes you and even my own daughter can’t stand u I finally found out about her narcissism and see it all so clearly now
I am guarding my heart. I’m doing just like the word tells me to do.
I believe that some people will take your kindness as form of weakness. I’m not a weak woman. But the joy of the Lord is my strength. Nehemiah 8:16
Hi i can resonate with all your stories mine was 20 years. I left last january and things just fell into place for me just trust in the process. Found out after i left him how much no one else had liked him. I got a flat and got a goid job even though im not trained in anything. Id told him i didnt want to sell the house knowing he would. He put it on the market without telling me so i didnt let him know i was leaving. He rang me up at 11 pm to say what time you coming back i said im not. Id got my stuff out bit by bit. Ive never been happier i just love tge peace and love living my own life how i want it not living his life anymore. Just leave them and trust the process yo work out. I wish you all the best go and live your own life instead of theirs.
I'm a Christian and this video is really helpful. I see myself in what you are describing.
24:5 that’s what discernment will do. I had this feeling of uneasiness with someone close to me in my family two weeks ago. I felt this so strong. I’m glad the Holy Spirit led me to turn down an invite to be around people who are not safe to be around mentally and emotionally. Thank you Jesus
Kris Reece is a Rescue from NARCISSISTs God! Kris Reece gers revelation from above & she knows what she's talking about. ❤
The manipulator I live with uts me off EVERY time I speak umless Im feeding their ego or benefiting them in some way...then ac cuses me of never letting them finish. I point this out, when it occurs and they deny it. Its pretty unbelievable.
I know a woman I grew up with where her parents/ mother had weeks of silent treatment and now in her relationship with her husband she does the same. When I talked to her about this tactic vs. speaking truth with her husband she said it was normal. I of course responded it is not normal. Just another form of generational abuse which her now grown up daughter suffered through during her childhood.
I'm giving the 'silent treatment' to my narc husband. I've tried reasoning with him, but he always lies his way out. I've realized, through this ministry, there's no point in reasoning with him. He doesn't care. I've only realized this two weeks ago though, which is when I've started the silent treatment.
I know I am a child of Yahweh. I know He's got my back. Let's see what He has on store for me. This ministry is teaching me. I know Yahweh led me here
Yes now I see what you are saying, and that I need to be more prayerful in my response so that I don’t get manipulated.
I think how we overcome co-dependency is to take full responsibility for ourself, for our actions and behavior, and for our feelings. If this person gives me a chilling feeling, it's not my responsibility to force them to change - it's my responsibility to distance myself and put up social protection layers until I feel safe. That feeling isn't a signal to control the other person or their behavior, it's a signal that I might require space.
My sentiments exactly. Good for you. You got out of harms way--mentally and physically. They can become violent and harm someone.
The sad thing is that psychiatrists say the only peace one will have with a narcissist is to put distance between you and them. Narcissists will not stay in therapy. They feel they are right always.
We need this to protect Jesus' ministry.
God has given me great discernment.
What a gift.
Bless you sister in Christ !
It's like you were a fly on my wall ! I see everything you described. And that laziness is so true. To the point that they don't like to clean up after themselves.
Exactly- it won’t even lift a finger. The filth is something I’ve never seen in my life / laziness is an understatement- these people are ville I have to say
So neat how God always comes in at the nick of time to help me. Thank you for being God's instrument. I really needed this right now at this moment. If you only knew.. I know God does. I'm going through so much right now. I ask everyone to continue to pray for me. Thank you. Love you! Appreciate your message today. I just found you not by coincidence but by divine
Yes I remember the book “are you my mother”. I felt like that duck when I lost my mother to cancer. Currently healed from codependency praise God!
Let's talk Co-dependancy. Who's stalking who? Who can't "let go"? Narcs need you more than you need them ..and they know it.
The best way is not letting them know how their silent treatment hurts you. I once tried to communicate that I did not like this to a narc, but that didn't make her to stop, in fact, she intensified using to cause further friction in our relationship so as to control me. That time I didn't understand their games like I do now. Thanks so much, Minister Kris
Thanks so much for teaching me this. I ve been struggling to please him and do only what he wants and desires... Even against what God wishes many times😢
Helpful video...according to scripture... manipulation is a form of witcraft...it would be considered rebellion. Thank you and Shalom!
Yes I believe a witch put a demon into my ex when she molested him at 10 years old. I tried to help him and the demon in him almost destroyed me. Only God can help him and only if he is willing to let God in. I didn't honor God by letting a demon into my life.
@@juliecarson4332 Amein ..truly we can only cast out denoms out of people that truly want them out...❤️
I’m so thankful that this is being talked about for what it is, a Christian perspective. Co dependency is so often framed as Uber spiritual and what it actually is, is an idol. Thank you.
Yup!
💯🎯
Amen . Thank you !!
I’m 5 years free of my narcissistic ex husband . He trampled on my pearls I finally got my life back . God is good and loves us . I actually feel sorry for him . Crazy huh ?
He needs the Holy Spirit because I feel his destiny bleak.
My personal experience with the narcissist concerning "I feel ______ when YOU say/do ______" is their reply being "You should not feel that way", and they tell others that I have a problem and cannot tolerate others if they do not say/act in the way I want them to. It is a complete reversal. You can play around with the verbage all you want to but for me these people are not worth anything more than my yes or no and "because I don't want to". That's it.
❤ Thank you my Sister.
You are doing a great job connecting the world to the word of God in a very clear way!
God richly bless you & your work!
We celebrate you!
All glory to God.❤
Just left a thirteen year relationship that was EXACTLY what you spoke of! God spoke to me today through you and I am so thankful! I just happened to stumble across this video, and I have now subscribed and look forward to learning so much from you. Bless you!
THANK YOU for your ministry. I am recovering from a long 7 yr situation of 2 people coming into my husband and my life and just about destroying a 35 yr marriage. God has opened my eyes to our weaknesses and the tactics of these manipulative people. After a complete deviation in finances and a ruined reputation, the Lord helped me to see (in hindsight) the warning signs. This video sums up, in a nutshell, the 7 yrs I learned... the hardest hurdle to overcome was learning that "I am not a BAD person because I say NO!" The good news is God restores what the locus and cankerworm eateth... Blessings
Something similar happened to me. It opened my eyes . Now I'm very careful who I allow in my life and in my home.
The same thing happened to me and ended horrifically ! I am in my 9th year recovering from that life changing experience. NOW...I am very careful who I allow into my life and into my house. To be truthful I am openly mean to people I suspect are up to evil, especially gossip. If manipulators come close I let them know in a very frank way- "stay the hell away from me."
You're so right! I saw this pattern with our family narc, and then saw it in the workplace. If bullying didn't work (due to boundaries), then they would resort to tears. If tears didn't work, then they would make it about money. If that didn't work, then the smear campaign and triangulation were enforced.
I finally distanced myself from the family narc, but over a decade later, I needed a legal document from her. The day she would have received my polite letter (via a mail forwarding service), I received an email from someone saying they were my long-lost half-brother. However, this "half-brother" (who used an encrypted email service) proceeded to reinforce everything the narc had ever said. It turns out my daughter, who had started behaving like the narc over the past decade, and who was now irritated with me because I set some boundaries, had reconnected with the narc and given her my email address. Meanwhile the narc refused to send the document I needed. So, you're right. If one manipulation doesn't work, they'll keep trying new ways to manipulate and control.
Thank you so much for your channel!
You covered all the situations n how to respond in a healthy Godly way leaving us guilt free; with power n hope for a better life; regardless of the toxic person. God Bless you. ❤
As a survivor of an emotionally abusive mother (almost worse than physical abuse IMO), this video was very informative. Thank you so much. And God bless you.
I had a manipulative narc mother too. At home, she was a sneaky control freak or if angered became a monster. In public she acted like the "wonderful woman". I was treated like a king at home; Rodney King!!!!!!
Oh me too. Blessings to you both. ❤❤❤
Controlling people can’t control you if you don’t let them 🥰❤️❤️❤️👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
@@TheBlondiekitten As a child growing up you don't have much choice. I'm talking about when I was growing up and even into young adulthood.
OH MY GOODNESS 😢where was this awesome woman years ago.?? 🤦🏻♀️ Oh how I wish I could make people hear and understand what she is saying and truly believe and HEED the WARNING. I swear it would save so much hurt not only for yourself but those you love.
get dragged along as well.
Amen!💯 & ThankU Kris🫶 Keep On Ministering...
Bc We All Need this Wisdom☝️
Dear Kris you are On Point ! I am adding You dear Lady to my List of Favorites Right up there with Dr. Ramani Darvarsula, Dr. Carter "free to me " series. Thank You for Saving Lives and Sanity ! Speaking Truth to Power Always . Knowledge Leads to FREEDOM !
The lightning doesn't bother me . I am listening . thankyou again. Right from the beginning it was perfectly fine. May the Lord my God help me .
Good video. Thank you.
Context: I give effective communication and negotiation training for a living.
Some people use silence as a means of manipulating. They pull away with an avoiding conflict management style, but then use unspoken emotional tensions within the atmosphere as a means to emotionally manipulate their targets, especially if the target is verbally expressive.
Other than that, thank you for mentioning the 'dark side' of manipulation awareness training. We ALL can be vulnerable to become manipulators and that should help us have grace when confronting people who consistently manipulate others.
Kris. Thank you for this uplifting message, and for your personal response to my question. I obtained wisdom with understanding from this livestream, and I saw much the moment you mentioned how it’s not my job to get people to change. Instead, it’s my job to guard my heart. Like you said, my response is my responsibility. I’ve been fooled a lot and been resentful for a long time. I need to get back on the driver’s seat, being led by the Holy Spirit. I pray that I don’t focus on the title but the fruit of the tree. Much appreciated, Kris. Spectacular video - certainly watching it again!!! Glory to God. 🕊⛲️
You're most welcome Jina. I'm glad it was helpful
That is so true what you're saying. You are so on point. God has truly blessed you with the gift of clear communication and wisdom in this area. God bless you for sharing truth.
Wow this has described my situation exactly. I thought boundaries and limits were the solution. He became a stalker, and violated protective order then broke into my house when I was away, beat me left bruise took one month to heal.All because I said ,no. ...I don't want to be with you. He is in jail now. This is a man who appeared very helpful in our area. Connected to many people in the area. Always seemed friendly and kind.
Wow honey I hope you moved. Out of state. God bless you.
God loves a cheerful giver, not one who gives under compulsion (pressure) to give.
Amazing. Youve hit the nail on the head !
The need to "people please".
Yes! Im seeking the approval of God and not man AMEN 🙏