Modern Total War games in a nutshell
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- Опубликовано: 2 июл 2024
- Now I bet you didn't think we'd go all the way to Egypt to make a video did you? Well, you were right to think that... it's amazing how well the North Norfolk coast can double for North Africa!
Anyway, thank you to Creative Assembly for sponsoring this one; if you haven't already, go and pick up Total War: Pharaoh using our link: play.totalwar.com/Squire
And a massive thank you to David "Cuthbert" Willey for being even more silly than usual, and The Tank Museum at Bovington for allowing us to film it. tankmuseum.org 
Приколы
This whole video was absolutely just an excuse to wheel out the good old fashioned Khaki explorer costume. When The Creative Assembly approached us about Total War: Pharaoh, this is what came to mind. They didn't say no. So, thanks to Creative Assembly for sponsoring this one; if you haven't already, go and pick up Total War: Pharaoh using our link: play.totalwar.com/Squire
TODAY ON COMEDY CENTERAL
Please bring back this guy 😂😂😂
Filmed on the same set as the iconic video for Madness' Night Boat To Cairo no doubt.
I guess they knew that the jokes were coming^^
Pity it’s not the total war and creative assembly of old.
I am impressed with how much crap yall managed to throw at CA whilst also keeping the sponsorship... pure genius.
Getting David to take the piss out of the missile graphics was worth the price of admission.
I nearly fell of my chair when I recognised his voice. Very good surprise!
Aren't trails optional for ages? But then you don't know who shoots you as arrows get culled by antyaliasing. :P
@@antonisauren8998 lol the point of it is, its just dumb.
What price? This was free!
@@AllAmericanWoman1390 You're free to remove them, but knowing the trajectory of your ranged weapons to know how and where they're hitting is useful nonetheless.
Well done chaps, and congratulations on persuading the terrific David Willey from Bovington Tank Museum to play a cameo!
Curator of the most indestructable tank on earth: RTWs anachronistic chariots made out of transparent aluminium and warp cores.
I’m expecting a lot of British museum jokes in this one
Edit: Yep! Called it!
And the irony of people stealing stuff from them
Yes
Pshah! You are daft..😂
IJ: THAT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM!
native: But it's ours.
IJ: SHUT UP YOU IGNORANT SAVAGE
British museum is our trophy Cabinet
Ahh yes. The ancient untread sands of a land long forgotten to the eons of time.
Great Yarmouth.
This was actually Holkham beach, much posher.
hey, love ur channel
That medieval 3 joke hurts me on a spiritual level
The quality of modern CA Total War games hurts me even more. At least in terms of price/entertainment.
Medieval 1 was the best.
Big world, factions felt different and played different depends on the era. I remeber in some campaigns just trying to hold on until the next era came about and i got new units to tip the tide.
It was even better with the viking dlc ad on and the XL mod.
Once they switched from the risk style board map it went downhill i think
Honestly until they show that they can make a game that's actually good again I'd rather they didn't make medieval 3 or empire 2 or anything else I actually want.
If it makes you feel any better, they would undoubtedly fuck up any attempt at making medieval 3 right now
I'm honestly hoping for an Empire 2.
The dedication to go to Egypt for this sketch shows how passionate these guys are
Yes, spared absolutely no expenses. ;)
Honestly nice of them, and completely uneccessary
Since i couldn't tell if this was just some random dune in Britain or Egypt
looks like a beach sand dune due to the marrow grass@@RazorsharpLT
The idea that CA..the MUSEUM. Considered an…exhibit…on either medieval times or Napoleon, before turning to Egypt pains me to an immense degree.
so true
Course they completely forgot China.
Or the American Civil War.
@@brainflash1 Not enough sides to make it worthwhile. Unless you allow the European nations to join in :-)
They also didn't mention the, er, sorry *A* British museum's exhibit on Warhammer Fantasy.
“Famous explorer, ivory poacher and now Egyptologist.” What a beautiful combination of quintessential qualities and talents for the modern British adventurer!
Damn.. even the museum curator forgot about the Chinese exhibit they did briefly, and just as briefly cleaned out without an explanation while the patrons were still in the hall, and promised they're working on a new one to sell tickets to.
"There were hieroglyphs complaining about the weather, and as an Englishman I can relate to that." was God tier, perfectly written and delivered
Was just playing the original Rome total war when you uploaded this. Amazing how the Egyptian armies didn’t progress technologically for about 1000 years.
Ah, bronze age equipment in the Roman Republic era
You know that the egyptians in Rome 1 are horribly wrong, right?^^
@@steffent.6477 Are you implying that Rome 1, the game with unified barbarians, divided Romans and pink pyjama people might be historically inaccurate? Preposterous!
What progress did they make?
@@kingofcards9516 pretty sure they built a rather large lighthouse at some point.
The charisma of these two must be through the roof with how many people they’ve gotten to join their skits over the years.
Hm, taking shots at Blood and Gore in a CA sponsored video, then proceed to request Medieval 3, sweet XD
The way this entire skit takes the sh*t out of the fact that they were SO CLOSE to making a Victoria: total war only to go back in time is amazing.
I'm surprised it flew over everyone's heads.
David ripping on most movie battles is just the best thing this year
Thank you for the only good thing to come out of Total War: Pharaoh
Total war pharaoh is a flop. They should stop spending money marketing it and focus on what matters like building a new engine
Woah! Crazy to find you here. Much love to your work. Also completely on board with what you said Total War has honestly been terrible since Rome 2’s launch and I haven’t felt like playing anything CA makes since the whole cartoony-Warhammer series.
@@disce. Warhammer is cool it just needs a new engine
I find it not bad. I just think they should overhaul the fighting system and and make more historically accurate games
The engine isn’t even that bad, its just mechanic implementation. Shogun 2 is awesome. Smooth, fast. And extremely satisfying. With projectile physics for bows and gunpowder. It was the dream.
Their marketing was bad if i don't know anything about new total war
"digging medeval again"
"I thought no, there is probably no appetite for that amongst our patrons" Bruh CA
Great vid btw
A real coup getting Cuthbert Boleyn-Willey III from the Chariot Museum as a guest speaker in your video. He lends gravitas.
"maybe medieval europe... if we lucky" man that hits hard.
CA being shown as a museum after being lead to Napoleon and remembering that he went to Egypt is hilarious!
Then there's CA's crazy warhammer section, can we respect our archaeological expert Alexander though for digging sand in his suit!
I need more of Sir Edmund Digby-Smythe poaching artifacts for British museums in my life.
Poaching sounds so negative. I think we should look at these actions as the noble British saving these valuable artifacts from the mishandling by the native peoples of those lands who will never understand the true value of these pieces...
@@Epivasofunny you should say that. A lot of artifacts the Brits brought back were being destroyed by the locals.
Mummies being turned into paint and dye. Old ruins being destroyed to re use their bricks and stone etc
@@travisrolison9646 the Europeans literally ate mummies that they stole, come on now
How has this man only have 600k subs this dude deserves 10 million great content
Fr
Unfortunately the younger generation don't care about history
he hasnt dug deep enough for more Artifects for the Musuem 😆
yeah bill and olly fucking rock they should have way more subs
Probably because they take a short, perhaps 2 minute joke and stretch it out to a point where you're rolling your eyes and muttering "Yes, ffs, I get it, can you move on, please?"
This old, very retired U.S. Navy chief petty officer and Anglophile just loves this -- and all -- your videos. Yep, brings back memories of my visits to the British Museum and working trips to Egypt. Greetings from the Pacific Northwest, USA! Cheerio!😍
I always wait for another squire video to pop up. Your channel and videos are superb old chap!
Thanks old bean!
I remember reading that Sir Edmund Digby-Smythe received the Elgin Prize for grave robbing.
They're grave robbing wine jars from that Egyptian queen they found last week. Maybe they wanna sell them like only fans fart bottles.
David is such a Chad for doing these. 😂
Got an AD for the new upcomming Crusader Kings 3 DLC during this video. Even RUclips itself is trolling CA for this disaster at this point.
Came into this video expecting British Museum jokes and CA roasting. Was not prepared for David Willey telling me how sexy Egyptian archers were.
Did not expect to see David, a welcome surprise :D
Mr.Willey reminds me of another famous historian from the documentary Holy Grail.
Oh my god Davie Willey suddenly appearing caught me so off guard but is also so perfect.
The collab with David Willey was an unexpected touch. 😅
You had me at dead Frenchman. I'll start packing 😂
How does this channel not have millions of subs. This is the funniest and well put together videos you make. You have no idea how much your videos make my day. Thanks fellas
Gotta say, i never imagined years ago when i came across your warthunder skits that it would all ammount to what you produce today. From your live action skits to even include some of the most respectable historians on this platform to join in and create these parodic masterpieces of alternate history...
I have truly loved following the evolution of your content and here's to many more years and many more great things to come!
What a great way to give them the review they deserve and have them sponsored you at the same time! You are incredible!!! It's a real shame that the channel only has 600k subscribers, British humor at its best!
Yes! It's pretty clear what they really wanted to say with this video!
The out of sync audio is the best subtle joke in the whole video, and I love it.
Great video as always!
It's always fun to see you collab with David Willy
like usual another amazing video from Squire, love watching your yt and can't wait to see your next vid
Thanks old sport, jolly kind.
How did you get David Willey for that. Thats sooo good😂
you know it's a good day when squire post. Also love the videos keep up the great work
I remember doing something similar with the Museum of Science in Cambridge (Not the proper one in England). Tried looking for ancient artifacts just north of the Qatar Depression, only found some German landmines, a British/Commonwealth medical station, and a crashed Messerschmitt Bf 109. Weirdly enough, there was evidence of a single American tank was running through that area, an M3 Lee I think
More likely a Grant
Haven’t watched the video yet. Waiting for finish before commenting. Saving this spot tho…
Edit: made me exhale through my nostrils slightly harder than I usually do, which is generally a sign of positively entertaining content. (I do love me some long words)
You hear that, gentlemen? This spot is reserved. Back off, get back I tell you!
Smart
Saving a spot? huh? theres unlimited spots
@@GAMER123GAMING Yes, but it's a spot as one of the earliest comments
Queueueueueing up for a video? What a capital idea, I daresay.
Fabulous video as always, chaps. Hopefully you can get Indy to come back next time you guys do a WW1 or WW2-themed one... seeing him pop-up is always a treat.
Can't they just make a proper Empire II? It has the most potential
Bring back Naval Warfare. Best part of Empire.
Knowing what happened with rome 2 I'd prefer they just remaster it
@@rexrules8895 Remake please. In fact don't even let CA do it, hire the guys that did the demonsouls remake. Honoring the original, fixing bugs, keeping exploits that were well liked, graphical upgrade. The end. Empire doesn't need a successor the game is fine as is. Just remake it.
@@earnestbrown6524 naval warfare sucked
Can they do it? Maybe. Can they do it without it being flaccid on launch and nickel diming you for a million dlcs of reskinned factions? No
Getting David from the Tank Museum to suit up like that deserves crediit itself..! ;D
Great vid lads! Cheerio!
Zinc actually stopped me from taking my own life, Live Laugh Zinc
These videos puts a smile on my face, love it!
Good to hear David back for this one too.
I like that everyone kind of agrees that the British Museum is basically The House of Shit We Stole.
Aheemmm... conquered and took as cough legitimate plunder!!.
I mean, it's better there than let's say destroyed or lost in some autocrats private collection.
Natives: HUH WHAT THIS PERCULIAR OBJECT HUH MUST BE SOME UNGA BUNGA ITEM FROM 200 YEARS AGO
Brits: Ah yes this is literally one of your most historical objects and i will be taking it now
@@GAMER123GAMINGtrue
I wish as many historical artifacts were stored in the same place as possible. Makes it much more convenient to see them when people don't have to travel all over the world and its much easier to preserve and protect them.
I kind of love that David Willey is becoming a bit of a regular in this video. He complements this style of comedy quite well.
They do not disappoint
While I'm a huge fan of Ancient Egypt visual style(I blame Stargate and Unreal Tournament 2003/2004), I hasn't followed the series for years now(played only Medieval 1, Empire and Shogun 2, watched content on 3K and WHFB).
So thanks CA for sponsoring the sketch.
i adore that you still work with the British tank museum staff!
Seeing those scarabs fighting for a ball of dung in the initial Pharaoh trailer was really Sus for me.
It was a secret call for help from the designers 😂😂😂
Visited that museum where people from around the world could visit their heritage… and observed them doing so 😂. About the Ivory Old Boy, could use a tusk, I have a beautiful pair of 1911’s in dire need of ivory grips, imagine tea without crumpets…. Well done
I started chuckling already when your pith helmet kept blowing off!
This was the most passive aggressive sponsoring I’ve ever seen
So the Tank Museum is now branching out towards the cavalry warfare...? 😅
Jolly good show, sir! The re-enacted parts in particular were astonishing! I say, the re-enactors nearly looked Egyptian.
Amazing what you can do with an underp-, I mean, adequately paid Irishman and some shoepolish.
Oh, but I jest! As if it would be worth the effort and money to ship them over to Egypt all the way from Australia just for a documentary.
The cameo got me :-D Marvelous!
This whole time I thought this was a roast. But it just turned out to be the hilarious ad. XD Bravo!
Love how the tank guy its just a regular , the jokes spot on as always of course the ending a british stealing an artefact, btw thats how plug a sponsor
David from the Tank Museum! Incredible video
Love that little shoutout to Digby!
The exhibits are looking sparse because they were sold
Also a massive shout out for the spot on David Bellamy cameo ❤❤❤❤
The boys from squire, have a lot talent. You guys need to write a feature length comedy screenplay. I would love to see that.
I'm using these as sources when I get my doctor title.
SO...not Sir Digby Chicken Caesar then? lol
"Fatigued" lol
Getting sponsored to take the piss out of CA is a baller move.
Bloody brilliant
Bloody brilliant video
Great video
You can't possibly know that, It's only just gone out!
Okay, 4mins in. Great video @@SquireComedy
Just pure gold
Camber Sands is looking good this time of year.
WOW they got David Willey in this that is so awesome!
I hope that we can get more of Sir Edmund's adventures.
I cannot believe the good old tank museum was corrupted to partake in the expedition to Egypt!
David Willey rocking that Sir Attenborough vibe ;-)
Brilliant Video. I believe I have the same IKEA Lamp on my nightstand. Didnt know it was a classic of British Museum rank :)
Also David Willey missed his calling and should have played Indiana Jones :)
Absolutely super as always Sir! My ideal summer attire as well! Kahiki for summer heavy tweed for winter!
Good choice!
@@SquireComedy I always find though the tweed underpants can be a bit itchy but standards and all that!
You'd think a company this aware of how much a joke they are (i can't imagine how else this video remained sponsored) would be better at taking feedback.
Amazing video, absolutely inspired satire of a cluless brit!
This was painful but hilarious
Cuthbert cuts a dashing figure indeed.
all professional archers were ripped. Those war and longbows were hard work to use.
When Pharaoh was first announced one of my first thoughts was wondering what the Squire video would be like
Now I need a unit of His Pharoship's Own Camelry Guards around Khakisept III :D
This made me smile. Thanks boys
Brilliant as per usual, you chaps really do keep the silliness of British comedy alive.
creative assemply: "I thought we wanted a Biased review not a roast?"
Finally get sponsored by creative assemly and its bloody "pharaoh" KEKW
You should make a meme around the spitfire
A note on Pharaonic tomb curses. When I visited the Valley of the Kings our tour guide pointed out a ridge on one side. It was named after a prominent family of Egyptian tomb robbers that plundered Egyptian tombs for _generations_ before Europeans arrived in force and for decades after and still survives today. Make of that what you will
Awesome just awesome.
This chap Cuthbert Boleyn Willey III should do a ‘chat’ on the Tiger I chariot
I see prof. Swiftfingers is showing off someone's Folio Society collection of classical history books. Nice touch.
Smashing!