I'm curious about grief taking up 99% of your available energy. Can you point me toward more info on that? Regular stress can't possibly be the same, or we'd all be non functional (stress is everywhere). But I can believe grief has that much of an energy draw (I am feeling this). Maybe trauma research? Why, exactly, does it make us completely exhausted?
I explore this at length in my first book, It's OK that You're Not OK (refugeingrief.com/books/its-ok-that-youre-not-ok). And check out A General Theory of Love by Thomas Lewis, Fari Amini, and Richard Lannon for even more on neurobiology and attachment (bookshop.org/a/96103/9780375709227).
One week after my husband had passed away that I had taken care of intensely for about 15 days I was experiencing horrible tightness in my back and I really thought it was just from my head and not my body. 3 weeks later I was diagnosed with two compression fractures in my back that were a result of trying to pull up and care for him. Absolutely one must get things checked out! Great advice Megan XO and in Washington State
Wow. Experiencing ALL these. Ever since my mom died I feel sick all the time. Head aches, body aches, light headedness, fatigue , heart palpitations and feeling like my heart isn’t beating the same anymore . Something is always wrong with me . Whether it’s physical emotional or mental. I can never get a break. It sucks. It’s been 9 months. 😢
I lost my mom and feel ill all the time. After my mom died my aunt told me that grief should never make anyone sick and that I’m feeling sorry for myself.
Well, how nice "let yourself off the hook", really. Now can you get OTHER people to let you off the hook? I haven't seen or heard from my " best friend" for almost a year, from the day my mom died. I think we got 2 condolence cards. No inqueries as to how we were doing, if we needed any help. No interest at all. Like we dropped off the face of the Earth or we died and disappeared like Mom
I’m so so sorry. I do understand. My own excruciatingly painful experience also showed me JUST who was with me. Not hearing wasn’t some little “oversight” for a year/ being “busy,” /not being comfortable with death themselves and having their own losses and triggers and being anxious to encounter me in my sadness. Shocking as it was for me to receive their absence, they really taught me about the people in my life. It was a real wake up call and not some other version of “LIFE” that I could create in my mind. On top of what I was going through - which was really incredible and life changing - I had to face the reality of them and let go of any fantasy. It’s not easy. It all became really real, all across the board. Blessings to you 🌿
I'm curious about grief taking up 99% of your available energy. Can you point me toward more info on that? Regular stress can't possibly be the same, or we'd all be non functional (stress is everywhere). But I can believe grief has that much of an energy draw (I am feeling this). Maybe trauma research? Why, exactly, does it make us completely exhausted?
I explore this at length in my first book, It's OK that You're Not OK (refugeingrief.com/books/its-ok-that-youre-not-ok). And check out A General Theory of Love by Thomas Lewis, Fari Amini, and Richard Lannon for even more on neurobiology and attachment (bookshop.org/a/96103/9780375709227).
One week after my husband had passed away that I had taken care of intensely for about 15 days I was experiencing horrible tightness in my back and I really thought it was just from my head and not my body. 3 weeks later I was diagnosed with two compression fractures in my back that were a result of trying to pull up and care for him. Absolutely one must get things checked out! Great advice Megan XO and in Washington State
Absolutely, it's always a good idea to get any physical symptoms checked out.
Hi Megan, I’m struggling with all of this. I lost my only child last.(son) my heart is broken. I don’t sleep well, so I have taken to resting.
Wow. Experiencing ALL these. Ever since my mom died I feel sick all the time. Head aches, body aches, light headedness, fatigue , heart palpitations and feeling like my heart isn’t beating the same anymore . Something is always wrong with me . Whether it’s physical emotional or mental. I can never get a break. It sucks. It’s been 9 months. 😢
I’m so sorry. I also lost my mom and feel a lot of similar physical manifestations as you have. Hope you are doing better.
I lost my mom and feel ill all the time.
After my mom died my aunt told me that grief should never make anyone sick and that I’m feeling sorry for myself.
your aunt has the emotional intelligence of a brick.
👌❤
Well, how nice "let yourself off the hook", really. Now can you get OTHER people to let you off the hook? I haven't seen or heard from my " best friend" for almost a year, from the day my mom died. I think we got 2 condolence cards. No inqueries as to how we were doing, if we needed any help. No interest at all. Like we dropped off the face of the Earth or we died and disappeared like Mom
That must really hurt - I’m so sorry. A lot of people are really bad at responding to grief.
I’m so so sorry. I do understand.
My own excruciatingly painful experience also showed me JUST who was with me.
Not hearing wasn’t some little “oversight” for a year/ being “busy,” /not being comfortable with death themselves and having their own losses and triggers and being anxious to encounter me in my sadness. Shocking as it was for me to receive their absence, they really taught me about the people in my life. It was a real wake up call and not some other version of “LIFE” that I could create in my mind. On top of what I was going through - which was really incredible and life changing - I had to face the reality of them and let go of any fantasy. It’s not easy. It all became really real, all across the board.
Blessings to you 🌿