I was jut thinking about how I'm going to handle this kind of thing. People somehow just feel entitled to give you advice, as if they know better. Even tho I understand and accept, even expect that these criticisms are coming, I still had no idea how to fend it off. Thank you for making this video and for breaking it down so we understand our feelings better. I feel so seen. ❤
Hi Megan, I really like this new format you're using to share your knowledge and advice on grief. I've had a couple of people tell me after my husband's passing, that I'm still young and will meet someone new. Hmmm, did I say I wanted a new companion after losing my soulmate/ love of my life? Some people say the stupidest things.
I have been told I should apply to caregiving jobs because I was full-time caregiver for my mom. I knew I wasn't ready, but I needed work to pay the bills. I got a job as activities assistant at an assisted living building. They let me go just before 90 days because they were cutting costs. Last one hired and all that. It took me that long to grow into the position and develop relationships with the residents. Now, I'm starting over again. I knew I wasn't ready.
I cannot tell you how many people told me to move my furniture or redecorate to deal with my panic attacks after finding my partner hanging in the garage!
I attended a low key Christmas party and was asked How long has it been since X died in front of 5 women. The asker had actually attended the same high school as X even though we had moved quite a distance. I was shocked by the question; and furious. The women had not attended funeral had not called, was a facebook.???"friend"...I decided I would not answer her...I just stared at her....seconds seemed like hours. . She asked again...as if I was deaf ....I still didnt answer..still stared at her...she stood up came over to me and apologized.. then tears flowed out of my eyes...I was furious but contained myself. I still said nothing to her..everyone around stood up and walked away as quickly as they could...i have now decided that if i ever hear that question again...my response will be "forever".
Let me preface this by saying my sister has always been self absorbed and has done and said any number of things over the years...Just after my husband's sudden, traumatic death she said to me...under the guise of comforting me...that this was God's plan...that she thought I was going to be happier than I had ever been because I never seemed particularly joyful. I can't get past that...I mean she elected to say that particular thing which to me says it was her intent to be hurtful. I have told her about it and she attempted to defend herself...
She said she thought you would be happier than you'd ever been because your husband tragically died? I'm just trying to clarify that I read that correctly.
Guhh... She meant well, but this is really not what you need to hear right now. What an insensitive thing for her to say, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. 😢
@@annehedonia156 Yup, she said she thought I would be happier than I had ever been right after he died because according to her I was never particularly joyful. Course we were never exactly jazzed while we were around them(my sister and BIL) because we were around them!!!
Thank you for this great video.
I was jut thinking about how I'm going to handle this kind of thing. People somehow just feel entitled to give you advice, as if they know better. Even tho I understand and accept, even expect that these criticisms are coming, I still had no idea how to fend it off. Thank you for making this video and for breaking it down so we understand our feelings better. I feel so seen. ❤
You're so very welcome. ❤
Hi Megan, I really like this new format you're using to share your knowledge and advice on grief. I've had a couple of people tell me after my husband's passing, that I'm still young and will meet someone new. Hmmm, did I say I wanted a new companion after losing my soulmate/ love of my life? Some people say the stupidest things.
They really do, don't they? Glad you're finding these videos helpful.
I have been told I should apply to caregiving jobs because I was full-time caregiver for my mom. I knew I wasn't ready, but I needed work to pay the bills. I got a job as activities assistant at an assisted living building. They let me go just before 90 days because they were cutting costs. Last one hired and all that. It took me that long to grow into the position and develop relationships with the residents. Now, I'm starting over again. I knew I wasn't ready.
I cannot tell you how many people told me to move my furniture or redecorate to deal with my panic attacks after finding my partner hanging in the garage!
You are so right.
I attended a low key Christmas party and was asked How long has it been since X died in front of 5 women. The asker had actually attended the same high school as X even though we had moved quite a distance. I was shocked by the question; and furious. The women had not attended funeral had not called, was a facebook.???"friend"...I decided I would not answer her...I just stared at her....seconds seemed like hours. . She asked again...as if I was deaf ....I still didnt answer..still stared at her...she stood up came over to me and apologized.. then tears flowed out of my eyes...I was furious but contained myself. I still said nothing to her..everyone around stood up and walked away as quickly as they could...i have now decided that if i ever hear that question again...my response will be "forever".
P.s. she and her husband left the party shortly after that.....
We cannot be fixed.
Let me preface this by saying my sister has always been self absorbed and has done and said any number of things over the years...Just after my husband's sudden, traumatic death she said to me...under the guise of comforting me...that this was God's plan...that she thought I was going to be happier than I had ever been because I never seemed particularly joyful. I can't get past that...I mean she elected to say that particular thing which to me says it was her intent to be hurtful. I have told her about it and she attempted to defend herself...
She said she thought you would be happier than you'd ever been because your husband tragically died? I'm just trying to clarify that I read that correctly.
Guhh... She meant well, but this is really not what you need to hear right now. What an insensitive thing for her to say, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. 😢
@@annehedonia156 Yup, she said she thought I would be happier than I had ever been right after he died because according to her I was never particularly joyful. Course we were never exactly jazzed while we were around them(my sister and BIL) because we were around them!!!
@tharchandran3709 do you really think sister meant well?
@@susygibson5673 No, I really don't think she meant well if I'm honest...