I would never date someone who treated my animals poorly. Imagine what that guy would teach your future children to do with the dog. If the kids treat the dog the same they are at a bite risk too. Very dangerous all around. He’s got to go.
How could animal abuse NOT be a deal breaker???? Stories like that make me so heated. I really hope OP takes what you both had to say to heart. OP is complicit in the abuse of her own dog 💔
Dear Third story OP: There's two things I absolutely stand by. First, if he wanted to cheat, he would. It doesn't matter how many boundaries you make, how many ties you put, it doesn't even matter if you have him locked down 24/7 beside you. Believe me, if he wanted to cheat, he would find a way. So you shouldn't be waisting your energy on those kind of thoughts. And that leads to my second point of, why would you want to be with someone who can't even have a classmate they find attractive without cheating? It's not worth it. As in how to build your selfsteam. I don´t believe there really is a key to that, unfortunately it really all is within yourself. However, one thing that helped me a lot is affirmations. This is going to sound extremely silly but I promise it works. Look at youself in the mirror and tell yourself how pretty you are, what an increidble human you are, and how your boyfriend is so lucky to be with you. I know how that sounds, believe me. But just how you were conditioned by all the people to who hurt you that you arent worth it, you have to condition yourself that you are. You will feel silly and pathetic at first and it might take months, even a year before you star believing it or even stop feeling dumb. But you will get there. Because, between youself and the mirror, who's going to tell you that you're wrong when you say the affirmations? So do it and I hope it helps c:
I always thought affirmations might be silly, until I read the part where you said to condition yourself just like all the people before conditioned you to hurt you. It’s no different. I struggle with low self esteem too but I’m working on it. Thank you for this, honestly. ❤️
None of what you’re saying is silly, it’s incredibly helpful! Affirmations help because they help combat all the negative shit we say to ourselves all the time. I also wanted to add that it’s important I get hobbies. No matter whether it’s sports, crafts, book clubs, thrifting, volunteering, etc, it’s important to build you life around activities. That way you’ll gain confidence in your capabilities as a person and that will help build confidence in yourself.
Dogs can be so sensitive to people, and if my dog didn't like my partner, I would say goodbye FAST. Plus, you're right - that is animal abuse! How could you treat an animal that way??? :(
I'VE LIVED THE CAT ALLERGY STORY WITH A POSITIVE OUTCOME, please read OP: My husband was SEVERELY allergic to my cat to the point he couldn't stay the night. I thought we'd NEVER live together bc he didn't want to make me get rid of them. He went to an allergist and was committed to allergy shots for 3 years. It really is a COMMITTMENT. BUT he had horrible allergies to grass, rabbits, mold... so it was worth it and we have now lived together since 2017 and he is doing well! If he's willing to try it, do. It may help him overall too. I've also seen a tiktok recently that said get farm eggs from chickens who free-range with farm cats. The eggs get the antibody to the protein cats produce that cause the allergic reaction and feed them to your cats. Not sure if it's true, but my hubby sent it to me 😅
I came to suggest the eggs from chickens exposed to cats as well!! It’s scientifically fascinating how it works so hopefully something like that would help! OP could add dehydrated egg yolks from those eggs to her existing cat food.
I’m with Jerry on the last one. As soon as I heard it, all I thought was: he’s trying to get her away from the game for some reason, likely a girl or something like that or even just a crush. And then the reaction is being so mad when she left is a very convenient excuse for their relationship to then breakdown and it gives him an out.
Yes! Came here to say this! His reaction is definitely trying to get out of the relationship (or push her to breakup with him so he doesn’t have to be the bad guy)
Agreed! As someone who has experienced infidelity in relationships before, that was my first thought! And the fact that she confirmed that she wasn’t going to leave at halftime made me think he had someone else he wanted there & likely asked them not to come, and then got upset that she ended up leaving and prevented him from having his other person there. The anger seems so provoked, and a lot of times when people cheat, they intentionally cause arguments and issues in the relationship so that they feel a little more justified in what they are doing.
Story 5: definitely cheating or hiding something fishy. He probably is trying to turn it around to her OR mad that he had to move things around when she decided to go to the game only for her to cancel so he didn’t get to have his cake or eat it.
Exactly 💯! For once, I got the same immediate reaction as Jerry for this story: the guy is pissed because he had to cancel the plans with the other woman for nothing.
My stepdad was a dog abuser and it absolutely traumatized me, no dog good or “bad” deserves an impatient short tempered owner. Safe to say me and my doggie left the house earlier this year!!!
Regardless of his “past” of not liking small dogs which probably is no factor in why he’s abusing her dog, the way he’s treating that dog is very reflective of how he feels about her and its very scary. She’s semi allowing him too also. That poor dog
Story 5: He didn’t want the wife to go because he was going to meet someone else. Wife decided to go so he canceled plans and then she left so his night was ruined. 🤦🏻♀️
The only other thing that it could be is if he is very superstitious about sports. It’s is really common. I wonder if his team was winning up until half time then the last half the game they lost and he is blaming her because she left and it brought bad luck to his team game. People are really wired about that stuff when it comes to sports. Honestly I think you might also be right on the nice with this one
I went the total opposite when raising my daughter. I was always screamed at, backhanded, etc. It was so bad that if anyone even tried to TOUCH my face, I panic. With my daughter I went with the whisper method. She's 15 now and my height. But when she was younger and little I always made sure to get down to her level face to face. I never wanted her to see me as "looking down on her". Her little thoughts and opinions mattered. Of course there were times I yelled. But I could probably count on one hand how many times I yelled at her vs how many times I've yelled for her to get her attention. Which I have to do when she's standing right in front of me sometimes. Because mom's really do become invisible at times when we're not needed or wanted for something. I taught her things at a much younger age and may have aged her faster than I should have at times. But now, she's a strong, caring, helpful, empathic, loving, happy (mostly), funny, amazing person. I'm blessed beyond belief to have such an amazing soul of a child. I couldn't ask for more. And when it came to parenting advice, I listened...even to people without kids. Might not have taken it....but I listened. And honestly, I think I'd rather raise 20 of my daughter than 2 of my dog. He's driving me crazy right now. I just had heart surgery and he's trying to be very supportive and loving (border collie emotional support/service dog). He knows I'm in pain and where and he just keeps trying to put his head or his paw right on top of the incision. Ok...that's my two cents for the first story. 😊
@FatherKnowsSomething I swear by it. My sister went the other way with my oldest niece, who turned out to be an amazing young woman working as a nurse. But it put a lot of strain on them for a while. They just had a surprise and she's using the whisper method with her and she's raising another amazing little girl but this time she said is way less stressful. My view was that screaming at a kid and scaring the shit out of them just didn't make sense. Because they're scared so they're NOT going to HEAR what you're saying. But if you whisper (and it works with adults too), they have to actually LISTEN and in turn will actually HEAR what you're saying. And it sticks. Kids are just little people. They deserve respect too...unless they're little assholes but even then, it's not usually their fault. Follow the apple tree to the top and that's where the problem started. The apple tree I fell from was over a cliff so I could NOT have fallen further than the tree. Lol I always wanted to be a mom. I love my mom. But I swore I would never raise my kids the way I was raised. And just about every adult who has ever met my daughter no matter how old they are, THEY respect her at 15yrs old. And that's something she's not only learned, but she's earned it too. To this day she's never once interrupted a conversation. From the time she could talk I taught her to put her hand on my wrist if she had something to say or needed something and I would put my hand over hers to acknowledge she needed something and the moment I could pause a conversation with whoever I was talking to, I went straight to her. She still does it and when people ask why, I tell them she's being polite to everyone while still letting me know she needs my attention. It's a great party trick. 😉
Story 3- my friend gave me the best saying that applies to this and any other relationship be it friends family or more. "Give them the rope to hang themselves with". Meaning, people are gonna do what they want no matter how much you try to control them or how tight you hold the leash. All you can do is be a kind supportive person so that your own moral compass hasnt been warped, and give them the space to either be loyal, or to screw you over in which case, at least now you know their true nature and you're not wasting any more of your time getting more emotionally invested. And then aside from that, just focus on your own internal happiness with yourself and the right person will love you for who you are. If they leave, let them. They werent the right person.
Story 3: she needs to see a therapist. Ive struggled too and therapy helped me immensely. She needs to pour into herself and work on her self love. Be mindful of your strengths and what makes you uniquely beautiful. Morgan said it best, Comparison truly can be the thief of joy. You got this! ♥️
The dog story pissed me off 😅. That guy would’ve been out the first time he mistreated my animal. I don’t even date people who say they don’t like cats or dogs. If you’ve got a bias like that is weird and concerning enough for me not to trust you near my animals. I don’t even care if that seems extreme either. I would be the same with my children if I had any. I don’t take my job as their caregiver as lightly like that OP seems to. It boggles my mind that she was considering keeping him around.
Very unfair to say just because someone thesnt like cats or dogs thesnt mean they will abuse them i personally dont like animals have never abused them and hate when people mistreat animals it pissed me off i had a friend leave on vacation not tell anyone and leave her dog in the cold no food no water i found this out after one day of the dog suffering i got the dog put it in my house with a heater and blanket offered it food water and shelter until she returned then i confronted her and told her if she would have told me i would have watched the dog while she was out of town at first she lashed out on me for taking her dog without telling her but after a couple hours she knew she was in the wrong moral of the story idont like animals but wouldint mistreat them she loves animals and mistreated the dog 🐶 so not everyone that thesnt like cats or dogs would abuse them thats insane
Story number 5 ..what if someone else was going to be there at the game but since OP insisted on being there for her man he told the other girl not to come. Then he was pissed because he had to cancel on the other girl ,so he's throwing a fit .
Exactly my thoughts! Especially because he tried to get her to leave again at halftime, but she said she was planning to stay, so he planned accordingly.
My grandmas greatest words of advice were: "you can judge any person on how they treat animals and babies" reason being these are innocenct lives that cant speak up for themselves; therfore we must protect them and treat them kindly ❤ i hold those words true everyday. I dont have any friends that dont love animals or babies. My bf calls himself dad to our dof 🥺🥰
Story 3: OP, I have dealt with the exact same insecurities. I know what it’s like to almost be battling with yourself because you KNOW the paranoia is irrational, yet your emotions are so big due to years of conditioning and poor self worth/image. Let me tell you, it gets better. Ironically enough, my boyfriend is a nurse too. ☺️ And I can say with full confidence that neither of our men have given us one iota of reasoning to think they may be cheating. It’s us, you and I, pushing things in that direction as a self-fulfilling prophecy due to insecurity and validating our negative perceptions of self. Story 3 OP, take things day by day. Moment by moment. Notice when you are beginning to spiral into that anxious state, and begin to take deep breaths to bring you back to the very moment that you are in. Let your boyfriend know that the last thing you are trying to do, is set up a controlling environment for your relationship to be in. Release the constraints you are putting on the both of you and realize that having friends of the opposite sex is something natural, normal, and healthy. Deep breaths. Start by changing your self talk. Compliment yourself a bit more. I once stared at myself in the mirror, on a REALLY bad self-image day, and told myself how truly beautiful I was. All the good qualities I had, and how my character affects the people around me in a positive way. It made me cry and I gave myself a hug. Our own brains are the absolute meanest to ourselves sometimes. But don’t let it dictate or control you or the lives around you. OP, this man loves you. YOU. Not anyone else. Have the goal of loving yourself more than anyone else possibly could, because then you are unstoppable. Eventually, the actions of others won’t dictate your self worth, because you truly know how great you are. Pick your head up sweet girl, and stand taller. You are beautiful, and truly will radiate from the inside out, soon. I am so proud of you.
story #3- girl i get where youre coming from but i am a nurse and youre gonna have to get used to your man around a lot of women. Like constantly. There was only 2 men out of 16 ppl in my classes. And 1 male instructor out like 6 instructors. Some women are definitely shady but that could be said for any profession. Like you said you have to find self love and trust your boyfriend. Currently working on that myself but i wish you luck❤️ If it makes you feel better nobody looks sexy with shit on your scrubs and not having ate/peed in 12 hrs. And he respected your boundaries when he asked you too, which is a green flag!!
Yeah.... the last story is giving master manipulator - he didn't care if she came to the game, almost trying to convince her not to go, then once she has to leave early, he tries to guilt trip her so it makes it look like he has a "reason" to be upset and maybe not come home and go see this mistress in question...or he's literally crazy. buttttttt we need an update!!!!
Story 5 I think he was trying to meet somebody at the game but when she first said she wasn't leaving he had to cancel and then when she left he had already cancelled his little side girl so he was pissed
Yes I think it is Pro Plan live clear or something along those lines. I recommend it to a lot of my clients and the few that I've tried it, swear by it now!
I also saw that if u eat eggs from a farm where the chickens live with cats there is something in the egg that could make the allergies go away :) something to try
The last story had me feeling that he had planned on having someone “Another Woman” come to the game. When OP decided to go he had to change those plans. So when OP left he was angry because in his head he had to canceled his plans with the other person for no reason.
Regarding the first story there are many cultures around the world that incorporate parenting with no yelling at all. And the result is calmer, more cooperative kids. The book hunter gather parent is great book on that, that I would recommend every parent to read.
Tips from someone with a boy friend and a mother with cat allergies - wash bedding, extra blankets, and curtains on a cycle to avoid dander buildup - air purifiers in multiple part of the house (good for you regardless of pets) - have cat free spaces (eg. bedroom where you can shut door and hella run the air purifier this has been a game changer) -give bath with CAT SPECIFIC shampoo (cats need special ingredient to make sure their skin is protected) and put allerpet dander treatment about once a month -allergy medicine for hard days -slow exposure therapy Hope this helps anyone struggling with this problem!
Story 4: Consider if you can build an attached or separate catio to give the cat a safe outside space and reduce the allergens shed inside. Cats will spend an insane amount of time in catios voluntarily. Could even give the cat it's own Indoor room attached to catio. Giving the cat it's own cat only room and keeping the rest of the house cat free is also an option (but I understand it's not preferable since cats like to be involved in their humans day to day). Another insane idea is building a separate structure or getting an RV as a clean bedroom space where they can sleep together, allergen free. Maybe swap clothes or shoes between the main house and makeshift inlaw suite/RV/ unattached bedroom. For the future, are there actually hypoallergenic cats? If so, consider them as future pets that are baby and partner safe.
Story 2- "he treats my dog differently," girl, he abuses your dog. Poor baby (dog). I hope this video and comments have helped you open your eyes and that you leave him. Your dog deserves a co-owner that doesn't abuse them.
For story 3 I really empathize with her on the low self-esteem, I used to be like that and it would affect my relationships. Something OP could do is do some affirmations/check list every morning, I ask my self things like.. -what am I grateful for? -what am I looking forward to? -what is one physical thing I like about myself? -what is one non-physical thing I like about myself? It feels cheesy in the beginning but when you start to notice those things about yourself it honestly makes you feel a little bit better. It puts you in a good headspace even if it's just for a little while.
Story 5: he's cheating. He didnt want you there because the other person was going to be there. Because you were there he didnt get to hang out with that person. When you said you were leaving he immediately went to hang out with them. If he was upset he would have texted you back immediately, not waited until after the game. He flirted with them the whole game and then he faked mad so he could make an excuse to not come home and spend the night with them instead. You didn't let that happen so then he had to lean into the "I'm mad" act. He probably spent the whole time locked in his room flirting with the other person. Maybe he snuck out but I'm guessing there were signs he was in there . If he was locked in that room truly all night and you never spoke to him and never saw him he might not have been in the room at all
I have a story for the allergy shots! Not cats (we love them and have three). My husband is nearly anaphylactically allergic to plant pollen, especially grass. We moved to another state/ecosystem with more grass (Wisconsin) and he couldn't sleep through May-July, despite all other efforts to reduce his reactions. The only thing that worked for him was the allergy shot. For him, it is a life-long commitment because once you stop taking the shots, the allergic reaction returns. It took six months for him to get to a monthly maintenance dose. During the worst months, he needs to take an additional Zyrtec, but his allergies are otherwise manageable when the grass is alive.
For the dog story if anyone would have treated my dog like that they would have been done and the relationship is over. If I dont resort to physical consequences why would they think that they could do that to my dog. Its over and done and dont let the door hit you on the way out.
If my bf treated my cat badly or even disliked her he would have been OUT! My cat is my baby and she behaved so freaking well that any dislike would have been a MASSIVE red flag! Unacceptable as well that when she told him about the behaviour before that he still thinks it is appropriate to punish her animal, he is not an owner of the dog.
My daughter’s BF (now hubby 16 years) was allergic to her cats. He got allergy shots AND they shaved both cats in lion cut. For them it was a win/win. The cats looked adorable and both cats LoVeD their hair shaved. The cats both passed 2 years ago age 18/19. She had cats since college, first 14 years married life and their kids were able to love the cats 8/10 years. I would try NAET AND shaving cat first , next allergy shots AND shaving cat. Thanks for the fabulous show again. Happy Halloween! 🎃👻🎃
my worst fear is someone treating my cats poorly!! i mostly worry about it happening behind my back and not knowing it’s happening until something terrible happens, so if i saw someone treat my animals poorly in front of my face??? ABSOLUTE dealbreaker. no questions asked, get out immediately, we’re done. my cats are truly everything to me, so i can’t imagine watching someone hurt them and doing nothing about it
Animal abuse is an instant deal breaker. No way I'm allowing the abuse of a defenseless being... and it's not that far of a leap from animal abuse to child abuse.
Story 4- My daughter had a reaction to spores that cats leave in the air. It comes from their saliva and can hang around in the air for up to 6 months. My daughter almost died from this as it attacks the lungs, it isn’t just the average allergy attack. What we needed to do was have the house fumigated every 3 months and we exposed her gradually, to build an immunity. However this took years.
To the person with a boyfriend who treats their dog differently please please RUN. This is a red flag even without the physical ABUSE, it’s a red flag. End this relationship. Him treating the dog this way should be enough, but next it will be you, run. Edit- his kitchens getting renovated.. is he living with you while that is happening? I really hope not. Maybe I’m reaching but I’ve heard this story before. If something happens with the renovations and suddenly he wants to move in with you, DO NOT let him. He’s abusing your dog, again treating your dog that differently should be enough, but he’s going to abuse you. Do not move in with him and do not let him move in with you.
The last one with the football dude… I used to date someone through high school and college that was extremely emotionally abusive. He would start a fight just to break up with me for a day, usually on my birthday or holidays, just so he wouldn’t have to get me a present or make a trip to my college to see me. Obviously, he would also take advantage of our one-day breakups to hookup with other people. This story is setting off alarms for me. He didn’t want her at the game because someone else was there to see him. Now, he’s using the fact that she left against her so they can be “in a fight,” so that when/if he gets caught cheating, he can say they weren’t together in his mind. Narcissistic behavior!! That’s my hot take, anyway.
The dog story is so sad😭 I can’t imagine treating an itty bitty dog like that. I pop my pitties on the butt and I was expecting her to say he gave the dog a lil whack, but no he’s straight up abusing this dog 24/7, what is she even thinking!? Girl, GET OUT NOW.
A guest of my roommate said some dumb things about my cats...she left immediately after. You don't disrespect people or animals in their own home. Period. If someone physically touched one of them, I would be getting physical in return.
I didn’t love the take of Morgan on the first story… those are excuses. You cannot yell constantly at your child, I had a dad like that and it was over nothing. I don’t speak to him anymore, so please stop justifying people for yelling at their kids
I trust an animal if it doesn’t like a human, I don’t trust any humans who mistreat animals. Absolutley heartbreaking for poor Boston. I would have left the minute he intentionally hurt my dog.
5th story The only other thing that it could be is if he is very superstitious about sports. It’s is really common. I wonder if his team was winning up until half time then the last half the game they lost and he is blaming her because she left and it brought bad luck to his team game. People are really wired about that stuff when it comes to sports. The other thing was someone was supposed to meet him at the game but since op was so determined to go to the game he canceled those plans and that person didn’t come to the game. Op leave half way through the game and now his original plans got messed up ruining his plans.
I really try not to raise my voice at my kids, but the few times it has happened, I apologized and specifically say “I’m sorry I yelled at you,” both because I genuinely feel bad and to model apologizing when you do something wrong. And after a couple times of this, I started getting unprompted apologies back from him for whatever he was doing, whether I yelled or not. Adults lose their temper sometimes too, and we don’t tell them to go sit in a corner or stop feeling their big feelings. How can we expect the same from kids, who are still learning how to emotionally regulate?
Story 1: when I lived w my dad during college, I witnessed my stepmother also get excessive w her kids (my half siblings) - I can’t even get into it w/o writing an essay but to keep things short, since they’ve been toddlers, she’d scream at them all the time about anything and some of her tactics of discipline were so extreme and unhinged that I couldn’t believe my eyes sometimes. My mom is the opposite, so it was shocking for me. I would try to talk to my stepmother but she wouldn’t listen since I don’t have kids myself despite telling her things other moms have told me. It’s painful to see but the only thing you can do for those kids is give them as much of your love as possible and hope they’ll go straight to therapy as adults
Story 4: my bf and I have had this conversation sooo many times as I'm the one allergic to cats and have taken all of the meds mentioned (including shots). If I was op I would have a conversation with bf about where they see themselves in 5 years and that should answer her question. For my partner and I we agreed if we did have kid and they were allergic that baby is getting a clean room. We love our cats too much to give them up as many animals in shelters are put down simply cuz no one wants them.
Story 5 - just tell people you want them there, these mind games of saying “you don’t need to stay” but you secretly want them to stay is so mentally exhausting. Like damn ppl don’t get angry at people when they literally do what they ask you to do 😅
So story number 2 is ANIMAL ABUSE just in case anyone is curious. Big ass red flag and I’d leave him immediately. I was in this exact situation over 2 years ago and our relationship was never the same afterwards. I FINALLY left his ass and I’m with a man who babies my old dog. LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE.
Story 2: Your boyfriend is an animal abuser. I’m not going to sugar coat it for you. You either dump him OR you’re just as bad as him because you are allowing someone into your home and your bed that abuses your dog. There is no second chances, no excuses and no regrets. You either dump him or you don’t deserve your dog because you’re allowing your dog to be hurt. I’m not going to apologize for being harsh because there’s an innocent animal being put in danger. Make the right choice.
1:01:02 okay the dude getting mad at his girl leaving at half time- yall are missing something HUGE. He said it was okay for her to STAY HOME. It was okay for her to GO HOME at half time. He wants to be the sweet caring nonchalant bf until she went to go check on HER FRIEND. It was the fact that she didn’t do what he wanted. It was the fact that instead of going home, she went to “hang out with friends”. It’s about control. This is the biggest red flag of an abusive partner. I hope OP does break up with him over this. This is how it started with my now ex. Then it turned into holes in walls, shattered windshields, & much worse…
For the cat/bf problem: how about making the bedroom an off limits zone for the cat? Cat can have the rest of the house but the bedroom is only for you two. His fur won’t be all over the place making his allergies act up at night.
I kinda agree with Dad’s take on mom yelling 😂 there’s a difference like you’ve mentioned about POV’s. I understand that, but also another point of view Dad may be referring to is Yelling with a Partner. He may not have agreed with treatment towards him as well as you guys when you were all kids. I listened to my mom screaming and yelling constantly, a lot of it was warranted however there were times my dad would say “ was it necessary to yell this? You’re just upset about something else and taking it out on the kids or me.” I know when I’ve seen my friends parents just yell and raise their voice and say everything sternly to their kids, it was also affecting their relationship with their partners. Idk maybe I just reexplained your point 😂 I’m dumb and new to commenting so everyone please please be nice 😅
I watched every single episode, and they kept popping up on my homepage, so I always thought I was subscribed. It wasn't until you guys said to "hit that subscribe button" at the end of this episode that I checked and realized I never subscribed
The last story- Jerry is right!! There are very few reasons why you would continue to bring up "it's ok if you don't want to come"... "If you DO come, leave at half time" unless you were trying to have your partner avoid someone. Then picking the fight, blaming her is yet another attempt at an excuse for him pulling away in my opinion. Sadly, I was once immature and this is something I would have pulled.
Regarding story 1, there is a difference between mom yelling and mom yelling at a kiddo. If mom yells, then we all should pay attention to what is going on. If mom yells at their kiddo, instead of communicating their frustration or anger appropriately, that hurts the kiddo.
As someone that has had a male Shih Tzu, named Loki, since he was tiny, I can tell you they are some of the smartest and most STUBBORN dogs I've had and trained. I've worked with, owned, and trained dogs of all breeds, sizes, genders my whole life, but he has also been one of my favorites as well. Shih Tzus are definitely a breed you can't really EFFECTIVELY use any kind of negative punishment with...ya it may work EVENTUALLY, but it also changes the entire relationship between that person and that dog. I am also the person that does not care when I've "hurt feelings" or even lost a few friendships any time I have..."corrected" how people treat any animals, whether mine or theirs. Hopefully that lady decides to defend her sweet pup, cuz I can tell from experience he will be more loyal than any man 😂😂❤ Love yall!!!
For any moms out there who relate to the yelling and how hard it is, this is for you. I had 4 kids under 2 almost ten years ago. I was that mom at some point when they started to act out. I was the one home with them. I was buried in guilt and anger at myself. I made the decision that i would try to do better. And one day at a time i did. I started to embrace them as people who make mistakes. I talked to them about things. I listened to them too. And discipline made a whole difference. When you say something, stick to it. Dont give in. Each child is different and needs a different kind of discipline. Yelling will happen, but make sure its appropriate, like danger stopping yelling. Learn to be patient, and enjoy it while they are young. My youngest will be ten next month and i miss those days so much. Every action you take to improve matters. You got this.
Does anyone know if Father Knows does updates on these OP's? They keep talking about wanting to hear back how it went and it makes me wonder if they publish any videos about an OP following up with them. If they're not, they should. It's a unique opportunity that we don't always get with like, Reddit stories for example. There's not always an update. In this case, it seems likely that there would be a response more often than not. Maybe every other one, might be worth including in a video with a quick synopsis of the original story.
This isn't any disrespect to Jerry, but I would argue that "turning out fine" is a matter of perspective. His niece and nephew, sounds like they were very much impacted by being yelled and screamed at growing up. Whilst they have grown up to be "fine", what does fine mean? If youre unable to manage or channel your frustration without screaming are you still fine? If you still hold the memory of being screamed at for something silly and you no longer raise your voice, are you really fine? Personally, whenever I have ever said "I turned out fine", its just been a misguided attempt at gaslighting myself into believing it was for my own good
Animal abuse should be non-negotiable! Be your pets/friends voice because they can't speak for themselves. mistreatment/abuse can lead to further distrust and could potentially cause more aggressive behaviors.
I keep thinking that if the jealous girl story would have come from a dude everyone would be enraged at how controling he sounds. So, i'm sorry but gurl..get a grip! You don't need "gentle" , you need hardcore help or you will spirral to a point where you will push everyone away from you!
Story 5. This is sounding like narcissistic tendencies. When you initiated a convo with him about it did he come back and play your heart strings on how you said you were going to be there for him but then bailed??? If so run!
I quit dating a guy becuase he was allergic to cats and I knew we would never live together and that just wasn’t what I wanted long term. He also bit*hed about having to take allergy meds when he came over. It was easy for me it’s more complicated for you your guy sounds so understanding and sweet with the cat. Try the shots try other things and if you have too!
My mother's husband is highly allergic to animals. My mother is an animal person and MUST have them. He receives the shot and they happily have 2 dogs, 3 cats, and a bird.
The girl with the allergic boyfriend is gonna hate this but with allergies as bad as he has, that relationship is not compatible with you as a cat owner. My husband is also severely allergic to cats and I had to get rid of mine when we moved in together because of it. If she can’t do that, then unfortunately the relationship can’t continue. Unless he gets some miracle allergy medicine (and I’m not hopeful on that because he has asthma type allergies not just sniffly allergies) then it’s just not gonna work. Sadly.
Best believe if my bf of 7 years ever started mistreating my cat, I would immediately tell him to get his stuff and get the fuck out. We're done. Let alone a year? I think is what it was?? Girllllll get tf out!
personally if it was my situation, my cat comes first. allergy meds, allergy shots, special diet for the cat, etc. would be tried, if that didn’t work i cant be with that person. i love my cat like shes my child
My OH used to jump out from behind doors and stuff to "jump scare" my dogs when they were puppies. I never really considered it abusive but then I noticed my dogs acting nervous around him. So even that I put a stop to. Throwing them off the bed and tripping them on the stairs.. absolute red flag! He's trying to hurt that poor dog 😢
I would have left that man so fast if he ever treated my dog like that.. also, sweeping their feet out from under them on the stairs?! For what?? Major red flag 🚩 🚩 🚩
Dude with the team is either 1) cheating on her. Expected other girl to show up. OG didn't show up. Now he's projecting that anger onto actual gf. Or 2) thought his team would lose, was embarrassed and didn't want her to see. But then they played well maybe won for once and she wasn't there to see it.
Story 5, I honestly side with Jerry on this one. In my opinion he tried to convince her not to be there cause he wanted someone else there, and when she did indeed leave he was upset cause he probably couldn't make the arrangements last minute with the person he wanted there. The reason I think so is I dated a guy that was super close with his parents. One day while visiting his mom, she invited us to have dinner there, and me to stay the night, since she needed my help the following day. I say yes without hesitation, without discussing it with him as I assumed that he wouldn't have a problem since he never has. That day he did, cause, turned out he had plans with someone he cheated on me with and I messed up his plans that evening.
My husband gets the allergy shots!! We have 4 of our own cats and I foster so at any given time we have up to 16 cats total (I can’t say no when the rescue asks for help 😂) and he would get them weekly then monthly for maintenance and it’s been so much better. He still takes an allergy pill daily and has an inhaler just in case but he says it’s a lot better
First story: I’m a mom of one 5 year old. Honestly, if someone wanted to give me advice on parenting, I’d listen. Especially if I knew this person had done research on child development. Wether I would act on the advice or not is up to me as the parent. I think the stigma of not giving a mother advice might be more hurtful than helpful and I wish it would change. I mean of course, don’t tell them what to do. But advice is great especially for those parents who are out here winging it or just scraping by on what they’ve always known from their parents. Just my opinion, all parents should do some form of research on being a parent… a lot of parents don’t. Most of us need advice and help wether we like to admit it or not. Try to give helpful advice, OP. It might just help 🩷
Story 2: (tw pet loss) . . . . . I just recently lost my 13.5 year old miniature dachshund, Bessie. I'd had her since I was 11 (25 now) and I wouldn't let anyone speak to her in more than a stern tone, let alone put a hand on her. 😭 Poor Boston. I really hope she dumps her crusty, abusive boyfriend.
I have a cat allergy and grew up with a family cat. It only effected me when playing or cuddles so, if your house is big enough,it may be doable. I would feed my cat every day and was fine. However we had an antisocial cat, a huge house and I never really changed litter
treating animals bad is my BIGGEST deal breaker, I could never tolerate anyone being mean to my cat or dog
I had cut familly for being abuse to animals that are not even mine so yeah that is a hard no,
True. If anyone was tripping up my cats like he does with the dog, they'd never be welcome at my home or life again. Bye get lost
Animals and young children are just too innocent and stuff.. if you can abuse them, they will abuse you.
Any cat or dog but especially mine
I dont like animals but i agree anyone who is mean to a animal is a jerk it gets me so angry 😠
I would never date someone who treated my animals poorly. Imagine what that guy would teach your future children to do with the dog. If the kids treat the dog the same they are at a bite risk too. Very dangerous all around. He’s got to go.
How could animal abuse NOT be a deal breaker???? Stories like that make me so heated. I really hope OP takes what you both had to say to heart. OP is complicit in the abuse of her own dog 💔
Dear Third story OP:
There's two things I absolutely stand by. First, if he wanted to cheat, he would. It doesn't matter how many boundaries you make, how many ties you put, it doesn't even matter if you have him locked down 24/7 beside you. Believe me, if he wanted to cheat, he would find a way. So you shouldn't be waisting your energy on those kind of thoughts. And that leads to my second point of, why would you want to be with someone who can't even have a classmate they find attractive without cheating? It's not worth it.
As in how to build your selfsteam. I don´t believe there really is a key to that, unfortunately it really all is within yourself. However, one thing that helped me a lot is affirmations. This is going to sound extremely silly but I promise it works. Look at youself in the mirror and tell yourself how pretty you are, what an increidble human you are, and how your boyfriend is so lucky to be with you. I know how that sounds, believe me. But just how you were conditioned by all the people to who hurt you that you arent worth it, you have to condition yourself that you are. You will feel silly and pathetic at first and it might take months, even a year before you star believing it or even stop feeling dumb. But you will get there. Because, between youself and the mirror, who's going to tell you that you're wrong when you say the affirmations? So do it and I hope it helps c:
I always thought affirmations might be silly, until I read the part where you said to condition yourself just like all the people before conditioned you to hurt you. It’s no different. I struggle with low self esteem too but I’m working on it. Thank you for this, honestly. ❤️
None of what you’re saying is silly, it’s incredibly helpful! Affirmations help because they help combat all the negative shit we say to ourselves all the time.
I also wanted to add that it’s important I get hobbies. No matter whether it’s sports, crafts, book clubs, thrifting, volunteering, etc, it’s important to build you life around activities. That way you’ll gain confidence in your capabilities as a person and that will help build confidence in yourself.
I really hope that OP read this ❤ this is beautiful advice
Dogs can be so sensitive to people, and if my dog didn't like my partner, I would say goodbye FAST. Plus, you're right - that is animal abuse! How could you treat an animal that way??? :(
I'VE LIVED THE CAT ALLERGY STORY WITH A POSITIVE OUTCOME, please read OP:
My husband was SEVERELY allergic to my cat to the point he couldn't stay the night. I thought we'd NEVER live together bc he didn't want to make me get rid of them. He went to an allergist and was committed to allergy shots for 3 years. It really is a COMMITTMENT. BUT he had horrible allergies to grass, rabbits, mold... so it was worth it and we have now lived together since 2017 and he is doing well! If he's willing to try it, do. It may help him overall too.
I've also seen a tiktok recently that said get farm eggs from chickens who free-range with farm cats. The eggs get the antibody to the protein cats produce that cause the allergic reaction and feed them to your cats. Not sure if it's true, but my hubby sent it to me 😅
Purina pro plan came out with a food that decreases allergens, they are made with eggs from free-range chickens that cohabitate with farm cats.
I came to suggest the eggs from chickens exposed to cats as well!! It’s scientifically fascinating how it works so hopefully something like that would help! OP could add dehydrated egg yolks from those eggs to her existing cat food.
There’s a new study coming out about the chicken antibody for cat allergies!! Look into companies selling that type of food
Girl in story 3 should not be dating until she gets some self help. You can’t love someone if you hate yourself.
I’m with Jerry on the last one. As soon as I heard it, all I thought was: he’s trying to get her away from the game for some reason, likely a girl or something like that or even just a crush. And then the reaction is being so mad when she left is a very convenient excuse for their relationship to then breakdown and it gives him an out.
Yes! Came here to say this! His reaction is definitely trying to get out of the relationship (or push her to breakup with him so he doesn’t have to be the bad guy)
💯%
Agreed! As someone who has experienced infidelity in relationships before, that was my first thought! And the fact that she confirmed that she wasn’t going to leave at halftime made me think he had someone else he wanted there & likely asked them not to come, and then got upset that she ended up leaving and prevented him from having his other person there. The anger seems so provoked, and a lot of times when people cheat, they intentionally cause arguments and issues in the relationship so that they feel a little more justified in what they are doing.
Story 5: definitely cheating or hiding something fishy. He probably is trying to turn it around to her OR mad that he had to move things around when she decided to go to the game only for her to cancel so he didn’t get to have his cake or eat it.
Exactly 💯! For once, I got the same immediate reaction as Jerry for this story: the guy is pissed because he had to cancel the plans with the other woman for nothing.
My stepdad was a dog abuser and it absolutely traumatized me, no dog good or “bad” deserves an impatient short tempered owner. Safe to say me and my doggie left the house earlier this year!!!
Regardless of his “past” of not liking small dogs which probably is no factor in why he’s abusing her dog, the way he’s treating that dog is very reflective of how he feels about her and its very scary. She’s semi allowing him too also. That poor dog
Story 5: He didn’t want the wife to go because he was going to meet someone else. Wife decided to go so he canceled plans and then she left so his night was ruined. 🤦🏻♀️
Absolutely. It’s the only thing that actually makes sense why he got so outraged because she left early.
100% This is what I thought too. He's pouting because his other girl was not able to go!
The only other thing that it could be is if he is very superstitious about sports. It’s is really common. I wonder if his team was winning up until half time then the last half the game they lost and he is blaming her because she left and it brought bad luck to his team game. People are really wired about that stuff when it comes to sports. Honestly I think you might also be right on the nice with this one
I think it’s really cute how Morgan’s feet do not touch the ground. As a fellow short (5’2”) I appreciate this lol
"Call the MF'er on it." Yessss, Jerry. That's something I would say. 🙂
I went the total opposite when raising my daughter. I was always screamed at, backhanded, etc. It was so bad that if anyone even tried to TOUCH my face, I panic. With my daughter I went with the whisper method. She's 15 now and my height. But when she was younger and little I always made sure to get down to her level face to face. I never wanted her to see me as "looking down on her". Her little thoughts and opinions mattered. Of course there were times I yelled. But I could probably count on one hand how many times I yelled at her vs how many times I've yelled for her to get her attention. Which I have to do when she's standing right in front of me sometimes. Because mom's really do become invisible at times when we're not needed or wanted for something.
I taught her things at a much younger age and may have aged her faster than I should have at times. But now, she's a strong, caring, helpful, empathic, loving, happy (mostly), funny, amazing person. I'm blessed beyond belief to have such an amazing soul of a child. I couldn't ask for more. And when it came to parenting advice, I listened...even to people without kids. Might not have taken it....but I listened. And honestly, I think I'd rather raise 20 of my daughter than 2 of my dog. He's driving me crazy right now. I just had heart surgery and he's trying to be very supportive and loving (border collie emotional support/service dog). He knows I'm in pain and where and he just keeps trying to put his head or his paw right on top of the incision. Ok...that's my two cents for the first story. 😊
Wow thank you so much for sharing! It sounds like you did it right. Need to look into this whisper method more!
@FatherKnowsSomething I swear by it. My sister went the other way with my oldest niece, who turned out to be an amazing young woman working as a nurse. But it put a lot of strain on them for a while. They just had a surprise and she's using the whisper method with her and she's raising another amazing little girl but this time she said is way less stressful.
My view was that screaming at a kid and scaring the shit out of them just didn't make sense. Because they're scared so they're NOT going to HEAR what you're saying. But if you whisper (and it works with adults too), they have to actually LISTEN and in turn will actually HEAR what you're saying. And it sticks. Kids are just little people. They deserve respect too...unless they're little assholes but even then, it's not usually their fault. Follow the apple tree to the top and that's where the problem started. The apple tree I fell from was over a cliff so I could NOT have fallen further than the tree. Lol
I always wanted to be a mom. I love my mom. But I swore I would never raise my kids the way I was raised. And just about every adult who has ever met my daughter no matter how old they are, THEY respect her at 15yrs old. And that's something she's not only learned, but she's earned it too. To this day she's never once interrupted a conversation. From the time she could talk I taught her to put her hand on my wrist if she had something to say or needed something and I would put my hand over hers to acknowledge she needed something and the moment I could pause a conversation with whoever I was talking to, I went straight to her. She still does it and when people ask why, I tell them she's being polite to everyone while still letting me know she needs my attention. It's a great party trick. 😉
Story 3- my friend gave me the best saying that applies to this and any other relationship be it friends family or more. "Give them the rope to hang themselves with". Meaning, people are gonna do what they want no matter how much you try to control them or how tight you hold the leash. All you can do is be a kind supportive person so that your own moral compass hasnt been warped, and give them the space to either be loyal, or to screw you over in which case, at least now you know their true nature and you're not wasting any more of your time getting more emotionally invested. And then aside from that, just focus on your own internal happiness with yourself and the right person will love you for who you are. If they leave, let them. They werent the right person.
Story 3: she needs to see a therapist. Ive struggled too and therapy helped me immensely. She needs to pour into herself and work on her self love. Be mindful of your strengths and what makes you uniquely beautiful.
Morgan said it best, Comparison truly can be the thief of joy. You got this! ♥️
The dog story pissed me off 😅. That guy would’ve been out the first time he mistreated my animal. I don’t even date people who say they don’t like cats or dogs. If you’ve got a bias like that is weird and concerning enough for me not to trust you near my animals. I don’t even care if that seems extreme either. I would be the same with my children if I had any. I don’t take my job as their caregiver as lightly like that OP seems to. It boggles my mind that she was considering keeping him around.
I AGREE COMPLETELY!!
Very unfair to say just because someone thesnt like cats or dogs thesnt mean they will abuse them i personally dont like animals have never abused them and hate when people mistreat animals it pissed me off i had a friend leave on vacation not tell anyone and leave her dog in the cold no food no water i found this out after one day of the dog suffering i got the dog put it in my house with a heater and blanket offered it food water and shelter until she returned then i confronted her and told her if she would have told me i would have watched the dog while she was out of town at first she lashed out on me for taking her dog without telling her but after a couple hours she knew she was in the wrong moral of the story idont like animals but wouldint mistreat them she loves animals and mistreated the dog 🐶 so not everyone that thesnt like cats or dogs would abuse them thats insane
Story number 5 ..what if someone else was going to be there at the game but since OP insisted on being there for her man he told the other girl not to come. Then he was pissed because he had to cancel on the other girl ,so he's throwing a fit .
Exactly my thoughts! Especially because he tried to get her to leave again at halftime, but she said she was planning to stay, so he planned accordingly.
💯 this is what's happening in story 5, I would be shocked at any other explanation (and would seriously doubt them)
My grandmas greatest words of advice were: "you can judge any person on how they treat animals and babies" reason being these are innocenct lives that cant speak up for themselves; therfore we must protect them and treat them kindly ❤ i hold those words true everyday. I dont have any friends that dont love animals or babies. My bf calls himself dad to our dof 🥺🥰
Story 3: OP, I have dealt with the exact same insecurities. I know what it’s like to almost be battling with yourself because you KNOW the paranoia is irrational, yet your emotions are so big due to years of conditioning and poor self worth/image. Let me tell you, it gets better. Ironically enough, my boyfriend is a nurse too. ☺️ And I can say with full confidence that neither of our men have given us one iota of reasoning to think they may be cheating. It’s us, you and I, pushing things in that direction as a self-fulfilling prophecy due to insecurity and validating our negative perceptions of self.
Story 3 OP, take things day by day. Moment by moment. Notice when you are beginning to spiral into that anxious state, and begin to take deep breaths to bring you back to the very moment that you are in. Let your boyfriend know that the last thing you are trying to do, is set up a controlling environment for your relationship to be in. Release the constraints you are putting on the both of you and realize that having friends of the opposite sex is something natural, normal, and healthy. Deep breaths. Start by changing your self talk. Compliment yourself a bit more. I once stared at myself in the mirror, on a REALLY bad self-image day, and told myself how truly beautiful I was. All the good qualities I had, and how my character affects the people around me in a positive way. It made me cry and I gave myself a hug.
Our own brains are the absolute meanest to ourselves sometimes. But don’t let it dictate or control you or the lives around you. OP, this man loves you. YOU. Not anyone else. Have the goal of loving yourself more than anyone else possibly could, because then you are unstoppable. Eventually, the actions of others won’t dictate your self worth, because you truly know how great you are.
Pick your head up sweet girl, and stand taller. You are beautiful, and truly will radiate from the inside out, soon. I am so proud of you.
story #3- girl i get where youre coming from but i am a nurse and youre gonna have to get used to your man around a lot of women. Like constantly. There was only 2 men out of 16 ppl in my classes. And 1 male instructor out like 6 instructors. Some women are definitely shady but that could be said for any profession. Like you said you have to find self love and trust your boyfriend. Currently working on that myself but i wish you luck❤️ If it makes you feel better nobody looks sexy with shit on your scrubs and not having ate/peed in 12 hrs. And he respected your boundaries when he asked you too, which is a green flag!!
Omggg poor Boston ! Wish we had an update 😅 HAPPY HALLOWEEN 🎃 This is an good episode 😊
With story 5, not necessarily cheating; but I’ve seen a lot of guys try to pick stupid fights when they want you to break up with them.
Yeah.... the last story is giving master manipulator - he didn't care if she came to the game, almost trying to convince her not to go, then once she has to leave early, he tries to guilt trip her so it makes it look like he has a "reason" to be upset and maybe not come home and go see this mistress in question...or he's literally crazy. buttttttt we need an update!!!!
Story 5 I think he was trying to meet somebody at the game but when she first said she wasn't leaving he had to cancel and then when she left he had already cancelled his little side girl so he was pissed
Story 4: There are cat foods that help owners with cat allergies. They affect the cats dander, might be worth a try.
Yes I think it is Pro Plan live clear or something along those lines. I recommend it to a lot of my clients and the few that I've tried it, swear by it now!
Exactly what came to mind for me as well. Look into the specialty cat foods.
I also saw that if u eat eggs from a farm where the chickens live with cats there is something in the egg that could make the allergies go away :) something to try
The last story had me feeling that he had planned on having someone “Another Woman” come to the game. When OP decided to go he had to change those plans. So when OP left he was angry because in his head he had to canceled his plans with the other person for no reason.
Regarding the first story there are many cultures around the world that incorporate parenting with no yelling at all. And the result is calmer, more cooperative kids. The book hunter gather parent is great book on that, that I would recommend every parent to read.
Allergy shots changed my life!! I totally recommend them for your boyfriend, but they might be more affordable with insurance.
Tips from someone with a boy friend and a mother with cat allergies
- wash bedding, extra blankets, and curtains on a cycle to avoid dander buildup
- air purifiers in multiple part of the house (good for you regardless of pets)
- have cat free spaces (eg. bedroom where you can shut door and hella run the air purifier this has been a game changer)
-give bath with CAT SPECIFIC shampoo (cats need special ingredient to make sure their skin is protected) and put allerpet dander treatment about once a month
-allergy medicine for hard days
-slow exposure therapy
Hope this helps anyone struggling with this problem!
The way I GASPED with the dog story. I’d be enraged if it were my dog. Bf would never hear from me again
Story 4: Consider if you can build an attached or separate catio to give the cat a safe outside space and reduce the allergens shed inside. Cats will spend an insane amount of time in catios voluntarily. Could even give the cat it's own Indoor room attached to catio. Giving the cat it's own cat only room and keeping the rest of the house cat free is also an option (but I understand it's not preferable since cats like to be involved in their humans day to day). Another insane idea is building a separate structure or getting an RV as a clean bedroom space where they can sleep together, allergen free. Maybe swap clothes or shoes between the main house and makeshift inlaw suite/RV/ unattached bedroom. For the future, are there actually hypoallergenic cats? If so, consider them as future pets that are baby and partner safe.
Story #2 - DUMP HIM!!!!
Story 2- "he treats my dog differently," girl, he abuses your dog. Poor baby (dog). I hope this video and comments have helped you open your eyes and that you leave him. Your dog deserves a co-owner that doesn't abuse them.
For story 3 I really empathize with her on the low self-esteem, I used to be like that and it would affect my relationships. Something OP could do is do some affirmations/check list every morning, I ask my self things like..
-what am I grateful for?
-what am I looking forward to?
-what is one physical thing I like about myself?
-what is one non-physical thing I like about myself?
It feels cheesy in the beginning but when you start to notice those things about yourself it honestly makes you feel a little bit better. It puts you in a good headspace even if it's just for a little while.
Story 5: he's cheating. He didnt want you there because the other person was going to be there. Because you were there he didnt get to hang out with that person. When you said you were leaving he immediately went to hang out with them. If he was upset he would have texted you back immediately, not waited until after the game. He flirted with them the whole game and then he faked mad so he could make an excuse to not come home and spend the night with them instead. You didn't let that happen so then he had to lean into the "I'm mad" act. He probably spent the whole time locked in his room flirting with the other person. Maybe he snuck out but I'm guessing there were signs he was in there . If he was locked in that room truly all night and you never spoke to him and never saw him he might not have been in the room at all
I have a story for the allergy shots!
Not cats (we love them and have three). My husband is nearly anaphylactically allergic to plant pollen, especially grass. We moved to another state/ecosystem with more grass (Wisconsin) and he couldn't sleep through May-July, despite all other efforts to reduce his reactions. The only thing that worked for him was the allergy shot.
For him, it is a life-long commitment because once you stop taking the shots, the allergic reaction returns. It took six months for him to get to a monthly maintenance dose. During the worst months, he needs to take an additional Zyrtec, but his allergies are otherwise manageable when the grass is alive.
For the dog story if anyone would have treated my dog like that they would have been done and the relationship is over. If I dont resort to physical consequences why would they think that they could do that to my dog. Its over and done and dont let the door hit you on the way out.
If my bf treated my cat badly or even disliked her he would have been OUT! My cat is my baby and she behaved so freaking well that any dislike would have been a MASSIVE red flag! Unacceptable as well that when she told him about the behaviour before that he still thinks it is appropriate to punish her animal, he is not an owner of the dog.
Shih tzu is normally between 9-12 pounds. Call the police on him, no excuse for animal abuse
I can’t believe we live in a world where we have to TELL someone to break up with their bf for abusing their dog. My sisters. WE NEED TO STAND UP!!!
My daughter’s BF (now hubby 16 years) was allergic to her cats. He got allergy shots AND they shaved both cats in lion cut. For them it was a win/win. The cats looked adorable and both cats LoVeD their hair shaved. The cats both passed 2 years ago age 18/19. She had cats since college, first 14 years married life and their kids were able to love the cats 8/10 years. I would try NAET AND shaving cat first , next allergy shots AND shaving cat. Thanks for the fabulous show again. Happy Halloween! 🎃👻🎃
Dog guy- Deal breaker 100%.
Not me over here, literally so disappointed that nobody put Jerry's face in the MGM logo during the intro 😂😭
my worst fear is someone treating my cats poorly!! i mostly worry about it happening behind my back and not knowing it’s happening until something terrible happens, so if i saw someone treat my animals poorly in front of my face??? ABSOLUTE dealbreaker. no questions asked, get out immediately, we’re done. my cats are truly everything to me, so i can’t imagine watching someone hurt them and doing nothing about it
Animal abuse is an instant deal breaker. No way I'm allowing the abuse of a defenseless being... and it's not that far of a leap from animal abuse to child abuse.
Story 4- My daughter had a reaction to spores that cats leave in the air. It comes from their saliva and can hang around in the air for up to 6 months. My daughter almost died from this as it attacks the lungs, it isn’t just the average allergy attack. What we needed to do was have the house fumigated every 3 months and we exposed her gradually, to build an immunity. However this took years.
To the person with a boyfriend who treats their dog differently please please RUN. This is a red flag even without the physical ABUSE, it’s a red flag. End this relationship. Him treating the dog this way should be enough, but next it will be you, run.
Edit- his kitchens getting renovated.. is he living with you while that is happening? I really hope not. Maybe I’m reaching but I’ve heard this story before. If something happens with the renovations and suddenly he wants to move in with you, DO NOT let him. He’s abusing your dog, again treating your dog that differently should be enough, but he’s going to abuse you. Do not move in with him and do not let him move in with you.
The last one with the football dude… I used to date someone through high school and college that was extremely emotionally abusive. He would start a fight just to break up with me for a day, usually on my birthday or holidays, just so he wouldn’t have to get me a present or make a trip to my college to see me. Obviously, he would also take advantage of our one-day breakups to hookup with other people. This story is setting off alarms for me. He didn’t want her at the game because someone else was there to see him. Now, he’s using the fact that she left against her so they can be “in a fight,” so that when/if he gets caught cheating, he can say they weren’t together in his mind. Narcissistic behavior!! That’s my hot take, anyway.
The dog story is so sad😭 I can’t imagine treating an itty bitty dog like that. I pop my pitties on the butt and I was expecting her to say he gave the dog a lil whack, but no he’s straight up abusing this dog 24/7, what is she even thinking!? Girl, GET OUT NOW.
A guest of my roommate said some dumb things about my cats...she left immediately after. You don't disrespect people or animals in their own home. Period. If someone physically touched one of them, I would be getting physical in return.
The 2nd story about the dogs..IMAGINE WHAT HE'S DOING WHEN SHE IS NOT LOOKING!! THAT POOR DOG.
I didn’t love the take of Morgan on the first story… those are excuses. You cannot yell constantly at your child, I had a dad like that and it was over nothing. I don’t speak to him anymore, so please stop justifying people for yelling at their kids
I trust an animal if it doesn’t like a human, I don’t trust any humans who mistreat animals. Absolutley heartbreaking for poor Boston. I would have left the minute he intentionally hurt my dog.
5th story The only other thing that it could be is if he is very superstitious about sports. It’s is really common. I wonder if his team was winning up until half time then the last half the game they lost and he is blaming her because she left and it brought bad luck to his team game. People are really wired about that stuff when it comes to sports. The other thing was someone was supposed to meet him at the game but since op was so determined to go to the game he canceled those plans and that person didn’t come to the game. Op leave half way through the game and now his original plans got messed up ruining his plans.
I really try not to raise my voice at my kids, but the few times it has happened, I apologized and specifically say “I’m sorry I yelled at you,” both because I genuinely feel bad and to model apologizing when you do something wrong. And after a couple times of this, I started getting unprompted apologies back from him for whatever he was doing, whether I yelled or not. Adults lose their temper sometimes too, and we don’t tell them to go sit in a corner or stop feeling their big feelings. How can we expect the same from kids, who are still learning how to emotionally regulate?
yeah if someone ever did that to my cat, you’re done, we’re done, i’m pressing charges for animal abuse fr
Story 1: when I lived w my dad during college, I witnessed my stepmother also get excessive w her kids (my half siblings) - I can’t even get into it w/o writing an essay but to keep things short, since they’ve been toddlers, she’d scream at them all the time about anything and some of her tactics of discipline were so extreme and unhinged that I couldn’t believe my eyes sometimes. My mom is the opposite, so it was shocking for me. I would try to talk to my stepmother but she wouldn’t listen since I don’t have kids myself despite telling her things other moms have told me. It’s painful to see but the only thing you can do for those kids is give them as much of your love as possible and hope they’ll go straight to therapy as adults
GIRL your dog doesn’t like your boyfriend, why do you?!!
Story 4: my bf and I have had this conversation sooo many times as I'm the one allergic to cats and have taken all of the meds mentioned (including shots). If I was op I would have a conversation with bf about where they see themselves in 5 years and that should answer her question. For my partner and I we agreed if we did have kid and they were allergic that baby is getting a clean room. We love our cats too much to give them up as many animals in shelters are put down simply cuz no one wants them.
Story 5 - just tell people you want them there, these mind games of saying “you don’t need to stay” but you secretly want them to stay is so mentally exhausting. Like damn ppl don’t get angry at people when they literally do what they ask you to do 😅
So story number 2 is ANIMAL ABUSE just in case anyone is curious. Big ass red flag and I’d leave him immediately. I was in this exact situation over 2 years ago and our relationship was never the same afterwards. I FINALLY left his ass and I’m with a man who babies my old dog. LEAVE LEAVE LEAVE.
Story 2: Your boyfriend is an animal abuser. I’m not going to sugar coat it for you. You either dump him OR you’re just as bad as him because you are allowing someone into your home and your bed that abuses your dog. There is no second chances, no excuses and no regrets. You either dump him or you don’t deserve your dog because you’re allowing your dog to be hurt. I’m not going to apologize for being harsh because there’s an innocent animal being put in danger. Make the right choice.
1:01:02 okay the dude getting mad at his girl leaving at half time- yall are missing something HUGE. He said it was okay for her to STAY HOME. It was okay for her to GO HOME at half time. He wants to be the sweet caring nonchalant bf until she went to go check on HER FRIEND. It was the fact that she didn’t do what he wanted. It was the fact that instead of going home, she went to “hang out with friends”. It’s about control. This is the biggest red flag of an abusive partner. I hope OP does break up with him over this. This is how it started with my now ex. Then it turned into holes in walls, shattered windshields, & much worse…
For the cat/bf problem: how about making the bedroom an off limits zone for the cat? Cat can have the rest of the house but the bedroom is only for you two. His fur won’t be all over the place making his allergies act up at night.
I kinda agree with Dad’s take on mom yelling 😂 there’s a difference like you’ve mentioned about POV’s. I understand that, but also another point of view Dad may be referring to is Yelling with a Partner. He may not have agreed with treatment towards him as well as you guys when you were all kids.
I listened to my mom screaming and yelling constantly, a lot of it was warranted however there were times my dad would say “ was it necessary to yell this? You’re just upset about something else and taking it out on the kids or me.”
I know when I’ve seen my friends parents just yell and raise their voice and say everything sternly to their kids, it was also affecting their relationship with their partners. Idk maybe I just reexplained your point 😂 I’m dumb and new to commenting so everyone please please be nice 😅
I watched every single episode, and they kept popping up on my homepage, so I always thought I was subscribed. It wasn't until you guys said to "hit that subscribe button" at the end of this episode that I checked and realized I never subscribed
The last story- Jerry is right!! There are very few reasons why you would continue to bring up "it's ok if you don't want to come"... "If you DO come, leave at half time" unless you were trying to have your partner avoid someone. Then picking the fight, blaming her is yet another attempt at an excuse for him pulling away in my opinion. Sadly, I was once immature and this is something I would have pulled.
Regarding story 1, there is a difference between mom yelling and mom yelling at a kiddo. If mom yells, then we all should pay attention to what is going on. If mom yells at their kiddo, instead of communicating their frustration or anger appropriately, that hurts the kiddo.
As someone that has had a male Shih Tzu, named Loki, since he was tiny, I can tell you they are some of the smartest and most STUBBORN dogs I've had and trained. I've worked with, owned, and trained dogs of all breeds, sizes, genders my whole life, but he has also been one of my favorites as well. Shih Tzus are definitely a breed you can't really EFFECTIVELY use any kind of negative punishment with...ya it may work EVENTUALLY, but it also changes the entire relationship between that person and that dog. I am also the person that does not care when I've "hurt feelings" or even lost a few friendships any time I have..."corrected" how people treat any animals, whether mine or theirs. Hopefully that lady decides to defend her sweet pup, cuz I can tell from experience he will be more loyal than any man 😂😂❤ Love yall!!!
For any moms out there who relate to the yelling and how hard it is, this is for you. I had 4 kids under 2 almost ten years ago. I was that mom at some point when they started to act out. I was the one home with them. I was buried in guilt and anger at myself. I made the decision that i would try to do better. And one day at a time i did. I started to embrace them as people who make mistakes. I talked to them about things. I listened to them too. And discipline made a whole difference. When you say something, stick to it. Dont give in. Each child is different and needs a different kind of discipline. Yelling will happen, but make sure its appropriate, like danger stopping yelling. Learn to be patient, and enjoy it while they are young. My youngest will be ten next month and i miss those days so much. Every action you take to improve matters. You got this.
Ooo I’m early! Happy Halloween father knows gang! ❤
Animal abuse is a deal breaker and this OP is failing at keeping her dog safe. The FIRST time someone ever physically attacked my dog I would be DONE.
Does anyone know if Father Knows does updates on these OP's? They keep talking about wanting to hear back how it went and it makes me wonder if they publish any videos about an OP following up with them.
If they're not, they should. It's a unique opportunity that we don't always get with like, Reddit stories for example. There's not always an update. In this case, it seems likely that there would be a response more often than not. Maybe every other one, might be worth including in a video with a quick synopsis of the original story.
This isn't any disrespect to Jerry, but I would argue that "turning out fine" is a matter of perspective. His niece and nephew, sounds like they were very much impacted by being yelled and screamed at growing up. Whilst they have grown up to be "fine", what does fine mean?
If youre unable to manage or channel your frustration without screaming are you still fine? If you still hold the memory of being screamed at for something silly and you no longer raise your voice, are you really fine?
Personally, whenever I have ever said "I turned out fine", its just been a misguided attempt at gaslighting myself into believing it was for my own good
Animal abuse should be non-negotiable! Be your pets/friends voice because they can't speak for themselves. mistreatment/abuse can lead to further distrust and could potentially cause more aggressive behaviors.
I keep thinking that if the jealous girl story would have come from a dude everyone would be enraged at how controling he sounds. So, i'm sorry but gurl..get a grip! You don't need "gentle" , you need hardcore help or you will spirral to a point where you will push everyone away from you!
Story 5. This is sounding like narcissistic tendencies. When you initiated a convo with him about it did he come back and play your heart strings on how you said you were going to be there for him but then bailed??? If so run!
If so. Run FAST. This will continue
I quit dating a guy becuase he was allergic to cats and I knew we would never live together and that just wasn’t what I wanted long term. He also bit*hed about having to take allergy meds when he came over. It was easy for me it’s more complicated for you your guy sounds so understanding and sweet with the cat. Try the shots try other things and if you have too!
My mother's husband is highly allergic to animals. My mother is an animal person and MUST have them. He receives the shot and they happily have 2 dogs, 3 cats, and a bird.
The girl with the allergic boyfriend is gonna hate this but with allergies as bad as he has, that relationship is not compatible with you as a cat owner. My husband is also severely allergic to cats and I had to get rid of mine when we moved in together because of it. If she can’t do that, then unfortunately the relationship can’t continue. Unless he gets some miracle allergy medicine (and I’m not hopeful on that because he has asthma type allergies not just sniffly allergies) then it’s just not gonna work. Sadly.
Best believe if my bf of 7 years ever started mistreating my cat, I would immediately tell him to get his stuff and get the fuck out. We're done. Let alone a year? I think is what it was?? Girllllll get tf out!
My Shih Tzu-Yorkie is 12lbs. If someone threw him or treated anywhere near like the bf did, they would be catching these hands!!
personally if it was my situation, my cat comes first. allergy meds, allergy shots, special diet for the cat, etc. would be tried, if that didn’t work i cant be with that person. i love my cat like shes my child
52:34 I would NEVER ditch my cat over a baby 💀 MY CAT WINS OVER A CHILD EVERY TIME
My OH used to jump out from behind doors and stuff to "jump scare" my dogs when they were puppies. I never really considered it abusive but then I noticed my dogs acting nervous around him. So even that I put a stop to. Throwing them off the bed and tripping them on the stairs.. absolute red flag! He's trying to hurt that poor dog 😢
Don't think I have ever been this early!
The girl who is boyfriend didn’t want her at the football game is definitely sleeping with a friend who just got broken up with 100%
I would have left that man so fast if he ever treated my dog like that.. also, sweeping their feet out from under them on the stairs?! For what?? Major red flag 🚩 🚩 🚩
Dude with the team is either 1) cheating on her. Expected other girl to show up. OG didn't show up. Now he's projecting that anger onto actual gf. Or 2) thought his team would lose, was embarrassed and didn't want her to see. But then they played well maybe won for once and she wasn't there to see it.
Story 5, I honestly side with Jerry on this one. In my opinion he tried to convince her not to be there cause he wanted someone else there, and when she did indeed leave he was upset cause he probably couldn't make the arrangements last minute with the person he wanted there.
The reason I think so is I dated a guy that was super close with his parents. One day while visiting his mom, she invited us to have dinner there, and me to stay the night, since she needed my help the following day. I say yes without hesitation, without discussing it with him as I assumed that he wouldn't have a problem since he never has. That day he did, cause, turned out he had plans with someone he cheated on me with and I messed up his plans that evening.
Dad is right. If he’s doing that to the dog then he’s likely to be abusive to his partner and future kids. Animal abuse is a huge red flag.
I would never tolerate any partner being mean to my pets. I’ve always had the rule of if you don’t like my animals then you won’t like me.
Happy Halloween fam ! 🎃 👻 excited for another great episode
My husband gets the allergy shots!! We have 4 of our own cats and I foster so at any given time we have up to 16 cats total (I can’t say no when the rescue asks for help 😂) and he would get them weekly then monthly for maintenance and it’s been so much better. He still takes an allergy pill daily and has an inhaler just in case but he says it’s a lot better
First story: I’m a mom of one 5 year old. Honestly, if someone wanted to give me advice on parenting, I’d listen. Especially if I knew this person had done research on child development. Wether I would act on the advice or not is up to me as the parent. I think the stigma of not giving a mother advice might be more hurtful than helpful and I wish it would change. I mean of course, don’t tell them what to do. But advice is great especially for those parents who are out here winging it or just scraping by on what they’ve always known from their parents. Just my opinion, all parents should do some form of research on being a parent… a lot of parents don’t. Most of us need advice and help wether we like to admit it or not. Try to give helpful advice, OP. It might just help 🩷
Story 2: (tw pet loss)
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I just recently lost my 13.5 year old miniature dachshund, Bessie. I'd had her since I was 11 (25 now) and I wouldn't let anyone speak to her in more than a stern tone, let alone put a hand on her. 😭 Poor Boston. I really hope she dumps her crusty, abusive boyfriend.
I have a cat allergy and grew up with a family cat. It only effected me when playing or cuddles so, if your house is big enough,it may be doable. I would feed my cat every day and was fine. However we had an antisocial cat, a huge house and I never really changed litter
i love jerry but i need him to talk faster he talks so slow at times 😭 i need him to talk at morgans pace